Hey, folks, it's Mike Gavino here with lifelong pal A J. Benza for Everything is a Bit episode number thirty. Our Steph Curry episode today.
Oh wow, cool, cool Curry, Steph. I listen these these uh, these warriors, they're fun.
Draymond talking smack down. Of course, there's been a lot of smack talking. In fact, we should talk about some of the smack talk. Uh. Did you see the Lebron Uh what's his name? The French guy on Minnesota, you know the center, What the heck is his name? On the Timberwolves. Uh? Oh, I know, Rudy Gobert.
Go be Bear, Go Bear, So Lebron said, So there were lineup for free throws, and you know, Lebron goes to box, go bear out and go Bear puts an elbow into the back of Lebron's neck.
And pushes him a little bit. Not that and Lebron of course, of course, of course, and so Lebron goes to the ref eject him. He just elbowed my fucking head. Wow. Rudy Gobert's response is shut up, you soft ass motherfucker. See that's what he says to Lebron.
That's this is great that the word is out that Lebron. Everybody who doesn't like Lebron's antics are are known to call him soft. And that's what's getting him, that's what's getting to look the other night, he single handedly lost that game. He takes that thirty foot three that clanked off the rim, then the inbound pants from him gets stolen at a crucial moment. Then as Anthony Edwards is driving for a layer up at a crucial point, Lebron smacked his hand. First they said it was off Edwards.
Then with the replay you saw him smack his wrists. That's three horrible plays in a row. You gotta blame Lebron, you gotta. He is forty, I understand, and I'm not trying to say he should be playing at a tippy top level. But these young guys like this Shay, this Shae was his named Gildris Alexander and the don Chicks and the Jokers and all these young guys, the aesty, they don't really care anymore. They don't have this, They don't think of him as this god.
They're certainly not the same. I think there's still a lot of respect for him as a as a player, and certainly for the career he's had. But he's done himself this great disservice with all of these soccer like go to the ground only to be perfectly okay thirty seconds later and not.
Walking off walking off the court through the locker room with eight seconds to go, and not for nothing. But there could have been an awful experience with Anthony Edwards where Lebron was going for a loose.
Oh yeah, I saw that.
That could have been an that could have been an awful injury for one of their premiere players in basketball. But he pulled through.
Well. I love the playoffs. The playoffs, there's so much like this Knicks Piston series so great. It's so much fun because they're beating the crap out of each other. And look, was it a foul in the last play of the game, Yes, of course, but it was a foul on five one hundred other players all throughout that game. For whatever reason, the refs, you know, make these decisions about you know what we're gonna call time, it's not,
it's not. Here are the rules of basketball. Here's what the foul is and what a foul isn't, And that's what you do it's no tonight. Yeah, what's going to be a foul tonight? And what's not going to be a foul? And for whatever reason, I think probably in No Stout more than anything else they've said.
Yeah, for this Knicks Piston series, I just got to beat the shit out, see what happens, and so on that basis, you really can't bitch about then fall on the last shot.
Because there were no calls.
No, I know. And Jalen Brownson who Brunson, who I love, and every Nick fan can't believe what he does night in night out.
He's he likes.
To flop as well. He tries to get contact constantly, but he's a smaller guy inside that jungle area where people get hit hard. But yeah, it's not right what the refs are doing. It should be the game should be called the way it should be called. But I do love. As I told my son we were watching the game together, I'm like, this is what the Knicks Pistons used to be like, except there used to be fistfights on top of the contact, you know. But yeah, I love it. I love the answer.
Watching a series from the nineteen nineties, I hope you know they let that continue, and I think that's the only way the Knicks have any chants in it in another round. But so I saw this thing that I had to get your get your take on. I thought it was fascinating. It turned into some super long thread on X. But the opening, the opening premise, The opening question was, can one hundred unarmed men defeat a single gorilla in a fight?
One one hundred of.
Them, all unarmed men defeat a single gorilla in a fight?
I don't know.
Let me give you a little Let me give you a little data before you weigh in with your fisher. Okay, So a silverback gorilla can lift up to eight hundred kilos that's like eighteen hundred pounds seventeen jesus. They can run twenty five miles an hour, Jesu. They have a bite for of thirteen hundred pounds per square inch. That's enough to easily crush bone.
Yeah.
Yeah, one swing of their arm can kill a human. It's Gorillas are also agile and tough. They can charge fast, they can dodge attacks, and their thick skulls and bones make it really hard for you to injure them. So they're built for combat in ways that humans just are not built for combat. Now, contrast that with the humans. I mean, there's there's one hundred of them. I mean, they have sheer numbers, right if they swarm the gorilla
at once. I mean, but if you're one hundred people, you can't swarm it when I mean everybody can't get a hold of the gorilla. No, maybe you could get like six guys at once, could get a hold of the gorilla. No, but the gorillas just can be throwing people off of them.
No chance. You can't go with the guys. It's the gorilla all the way.
You're taking the girl against a hunt. Okay, well, so don't discount that humans have intelligence and endurance, so that the humans could plan a strategy. I don't know what that strategy strategy, I don't know, but uh, but you know there's a hundred of them, and so they would have an opportunity to plan a strategy. I mean, to me, the only thing that that makes any sense that you could do as a swarm and actually hurt him is bite them. Is a hundred a hundred.
Humans, that's not gonna kill a gorilla biting him.
One hundred people biting him.
That that will mean shit. These motherfuckers fight lions and tigers and should They're not gonna be worried by a human bite. Our bites are ridiculous. Look a good.
Bites are nasty, actually, you know, nasty.
But they're not like a hyena or a lion and al or a tiger. Look at gorilla's first of all. Chimpinze's are so frightening because they have the strength of five men. A gorilla is gonna throw his arms. The only way you can defeat a gorilla would be even if you put one hundred MMA fighters in there, what are they gonna do kick his shins. I don't think that's gonna work. They're not gonna get him in a choke hold or any of that Brazilian jiu jitsu. Shit,
he's gonna be comfortable on the ground. He's gonna ground and pound. He's got claws, he's got tremendous teeth. No, he might be tired after the first seventy, but no, it's over. You can't beat it without a weapon. If one guy had a weapon, you got a shot. No no weapons, no weapon, I go gorilla all the way.
No weapons other than you like you get a weapon like Kirk got it on that planet when he when he fought against the gorn. So you have to use the natural habit. So if you could get a tree, a break off a branch and sharpen the end of a branch, I think that'd be I think you have to say that's legal in the fight. But I don't know what you're going to sharpen the branch with, if to sharpen it against something else naturally occurring.
And when I had been taking into the fear factor of all these men staring down a silver back gorilla. You know, we love to look at our opponent and size them up. You can't size up a silver back gorilla. They can fling a man thirty feet easy with one swing of their arm. No, I don't see.
So, I mean there's an obvious number one reality show here, right, I mean this would be like how many millions of people would watch this?
Right? So?
Well, I was just thinking, instead of having to do the uh you know, prisons in foreign countries, we could throw some kind of option at these uh you know, the gang bangers from from Venezuela or whatever you could be. You could we could send you tell Salvador and you're gonna go to this maximum security presence could be really or you can sign this release here and be part of the man Versus Gorilla game show reality show and if you survive, you're good.
Right, you're good to go. Yeah, you don't.
You can't stay in our country, but you're good to go in some other country as a as a free man. Right, we get a hundred.
That way, I would think so, But.
Verse is there anything illegal about that?
Yeah? Yeah, of course there is an animal abuse. There's no way you could have man versus ape.
What's human abuse? Yeah, but you girls gonna win.
Yeah, but you can't even have a fucking kitty cat on a movie set without saying no cat was injured during this movie. You can't. You can't have a show to incapacitated gorilla. How would you do it? Five guys on each arm and somebody choking? Oh? Man, I don't see it. I don't know.
I'm on the gorilla side. I think the gorilla does win. But I think the you know, either your if you could fashion weapons at a natural material like how Kirk blew up the gorn, or you or you can bite I'm telling you that's the only.
Biting through that hair and into whatever his skin feels like. I can't imagine what kind of damage our mouths were doing.
A gorilla you get to a major artery and and bite.
God, don't forget they throw ship at us too. I mean that could be.
That's also the least. If you're up against a gorilla throwing ship.
Is like, fine, you're probably trained for that. I don't, I don't. I don't see it happening, but it would be a great shows.
I think you could with ai Oh, like.
The the Muhammad Ali Rocky Marciano fight. Simulate it and see what happens. You're gonna see humans being thrown in the air. I saw a great show last night. Have you seen that pangolin show on Netflix? The Life of the Pangolin? Those little dinosaurs ant theater type things. They're amazing, but they don't have any teeth. They just have a long tongue. But they're out there on this preserve in Johannesburg, and it's just when you see that vast area in Africa.
Maybe some of these guys, instead of going to jail, put them on a preserve. If you can stay alive, kill your own food, you can make a weapon from a tree brand whatever you want. You're gonna encounter gorillas. But hey that boot. But if you can live, you get to live. That would be a good alternative for these illegals.
Yea, no, look, I think I think there's a an angle with AI. I'm sure people are exploring it. But but to to take these things that you that you think would be fascinating to see but not having be bullshit Hollywood cgi crab, have it be AI creating a simulation that is as close as possible to what it likely would be and uh and see see where it goes.
Well, they did a show years ago Discovery. I think about different animals versus different animals, you know, alligator, the alligator versus shark, the bite force and who would win this fight between a chimpanzee and a coyote And it was all about bite force and that was a great show. They simulated it who would win in a fight? I
love that show. I don't know the name of it, but if you look up Google, you know, uh, animal versus Animal Discovery channel bite force put some keywords in and those were great because they would show you exactly what would happen in a fight. They even did. It was either history or discovery. They even did things like how would a fighter from the Roman era go up against a guy from you know, uh, feudal times? And what kind of weapons would they use and how would
they be effective or ineffective? And it was really interesting that they pit They pitted people against each other during different eras in history.
That is cool and I imagine we're going to see a lot of this kind of what if sort of stuff. AI.
Oh, before you go further, did you see the video of our lovely Carmelo Anthony, the kid who's stabbed Austin Metcalf at the track meet. A video turned up with him playing basketball and a little skirmish occurred on the court and Carmelo Anthony, who wasn't involved in the skirmers, decided to get involved while the white boy was on the ground, and he stomped his head with his sneaker on the on the wooden basketball court before the refs and a parent got in between them. So this is.
Really when was that?
I don't know, I have to be recently because he's in high school playing ball, so let's call it a year or two whatever. But they found a video of him doing that, which is now the new move. Whenever these dunes attack a bunch of kids, they go down. It's not enough to knock somebody out. Now they stop your head with their feet. It's it's just it's it's awful. But yeah, that's all. That's wonderful. Camello Anthony, who people think was just doing nothing wrong, and you know Austin
Metcalff put his hand on him. Unbelievable.
Well, maybe that scene in the gym was, you know, another white on black racial crime that he was, you know, reacting to.
I believe I believe the kid he stomped on was white. I I can't say for sure, but either way, you know, we our sons played basketball. There's no place there's no head.
There's no there's no head stomping. Well, hopefully, uh, that whole thing won't get decided by jury selection and tried on the facts that I've seen. We've seen worse. I got to give a cap tip to, uh to Republican Senator Josh Hawley because uh, his his new bill. I know he's one of the sponsors. I don't know if he's the only sponsor, but the preventing elected leaders from owning securities and investments. If you spell out the acronym there,
it's Pelosi exactly exactly. The bill is the Pelosi bill, right, that's the classic.
Did you see her speech the other day where she could I mean, she man, I have been able to speak better coming home from a bender. She just couldn't get any words out at this podium. I know she's old, and I guess that's part of it, but it just seems to be an alcohol issue with her.
I think she's old. Did you watch stuff of her in her forties, fifties and sixties, and she was a fucking for nature.
She was tough and she shot and easy on the eyes back in the day too.
Yeah. No, she could look at them I know. So you got to give her her due. She's she's been a major player in Washington for half a freaking century, of course, close to it. Speaking of bills, new California Bill AB thirteen thirty three, have you heard about this? No, this is an assemblement So this state law. Rich Chavez spur is the sponsor. And if they pass this, you will no longer be able to protect yourself if a
criminal attacks you or your family. So if someone, if someone dies, So a guy breaks into your house and you're defending your family and in a struggle you kill the perpetrator, you will be defending yourself against murder charges. That's something like that happens. So now we have constitutional right to bear arms to defend proper private property. Right, So California's just decide and who the fuck where Even as crazy as some of this woke stuff is, where
do you pull this out from? We love the We love illegal aliens so much that if one because they don't have any food brace in your house to steal your money or your food, or because they're horny and they don't have a woman to rape your daughter, right, don't you dare no hurt them?
Unbelievable because we'll put you off a murder charge. I can't believe that's even the thing. But but the left has gone soa bananas to the point now where they're they're protecting this guy, the Maryland father, Cabriel Garcia whatever, his whole three names are the MS thirteen guy, So clearly is affiliated with that gang. And you got okay, it was what have you? But he did some bad things. There's a record on him including his wife getting a restraining order, et cetera.
Including him getting kicked out of the country for being and then a third team member.
And driving a bunch of people from the border to Maryland to work in construction. But you know these people, it's just we we've got we need him back in America. They're arguing about now they've got to pay student loans back. That's unfair. They've lost their minds. They've just lost their minds.
Well, or there's a there's a strategy that this is all a big part of. And and I think that's what you're looking at with this. I don't think they care about that guy at all.
They don't.
Why would they. But if they can, if they can demand that level of due process for everyone, okay, and a lot of the ten million, twelve million, whatever you think the number is, Trump's not gonna be able to get out. And so this is this is to me, it's clear as day is we know we have we know. What we know is that he wasn't given due process, and so we know that his fate is he's going to prison in another country and being kicked out of
this country. We just want him brought back here. So that can be determined so that we can then claim that every other you can't put three hundred on a flight, every single one of them, one at a time, has
to get due process. We're going to slow you down to a crawl, so that at the end of four years, if we're successful with everything else that we're trying to destroy of what you want to do, we somehow find a way to win an election that's going to be heavily dependent on us getting as many of He's ten million, twelve million, fifty to be able to vote as we possibly can. We need them to stay in this country to vote for our candidates. And that's all any of
it it's about. It's all it's ever about. And it's disgusting.
It's just it's a it's a it's it's awful. And I know the first hundred days what Trump has done, there's a few things that have been on my mind as kind of quirky and is that right? More his decisions, not so much as actions. Some of the tariff stuff bothers me. The Pete Hegg set stuff I'm concerned about. But overall, the first hundred days have been everything I could have wished for. And yet the left is still acting like a Trump voters are very unhappy. They regret
what they did. No, we don't we known.
His look, his scores on the economy, his scores on on the tariffs themselves, they're all terrible. They're all off.
I don't believe that. I don't believe it.
Oh they are. I've looked at five different they're they're terrible.
I've looked at I've looked at ones that say they're not that bad. I've looked at show me one, show me.
A j There's there's, there's. It depends who the the group is that you're that you're polling right. But there's if if there was an election next month and the Democrats just put up somebody with half a brain, which is a lot more than they currently have in the party to put up. But if they had somebody with they have a brain to put up, they would win. Trump Trump took this on. It's a really dangerous thing to take on. Now he's got to make it work.
He's got to make it work. And uh, and that they're already the strategy couldn't possibly have been to be where we are now. That couldn't possibly have been the strategy. There's no thing.
I don't think things are that so fucking dire right now. I don't get it. Why why is it so bad that we had a president that said, look, we've been getting ripped off, not just by China, but by many countries who we send tons of money to. It's time to equal their talents.
Dude, we're having a trade imbalance with someone. Doesn't mean you're getting ripped off. Yeah, well, where he mishandled. Where he mishandled. More worse than anything is what he allowed to happen to the US Canada relationship, which just resulted in another left wing wacko getting elected in Canada when the conservative candidate was way ahead in the polls before
Trump came in. And you know, there are there are countries that are going to have things that are much more appealing to us that it's it's like saying you've got to trade and balance with the publics or marianos.
Yeah.
I go into publics three times a week and fuck those people take my money and they don't. They don't pay me shit, they don't. They don't buy any of my stuff.
No, they're not offering them stuff that's not it's not a good comparison. What do we what do we need from Canada so badly that we don't have here in America? And when they do give it to us, we're charged remarkably high taxes on it. Why can't we even that up? What's wrong with that?
There's specific stuff, ridiculous stuff like maple syrup and stuff like that number cars, but overall it's we just are consuming. We're much bigger country, we're much bigger consumers, so we have much more money. We're going to take more from Canada than they take from It's not possible for them to take more from us. They don't have a population to take more from us. The whole thing is idiotic, It really is. It's stupid.
Well, what about how is it idiotic that we sent them billions of dollars hundreds of billions of dollars a year? Is that idiotic? Part?
Should have gone after fucking China? He should have united the world. Yeah, after he pissed off the rest of the fucking planet. He should have just gone balls out after fucking China, and he shouldn't have fucked with anything else. Or or if you want to have uh, reciprocals and uh and only reciprocals, then then have reciprocals. But but why do we pick a fight with the world. Why are we fighting with Mexico?
And why are we fighting in Mexico? Oh christ, I don't think that's so far fetched. Why why don't we have issues with Mexico? How many fucking iss did Mexico just allow the bullshit to happen with their people and the cartels and fucking killing Americans with drugs.
Hey, I'm all for I'm all for protecting the border, I'm all for uh for. I'm one thousand percent behind him on everything border related and protecting citizen citizenship related. Absolutely, But we're talking about trade, and he's the one who did the trade deal, and everything between the US, Mexico, and Canada operates off of it. Was his fucking.
I just think that he came in the way he normally walks into a room letting everybody know there's a new sheriff in town. And especially after the last four years with Biden, where we got stepped on by a lot of countries, he had to make a big, sweeping statement that this shit isn't happening anymore. America is not going to go bankrupt. We we we fund so many countries and protect so many countries, and yet no one gives us back what they what they should give us back.
We have people, we have countries that always tons of money that no one ever bothers to collect. So yeah, did he go overboard and make too much of a sweeping move. Probably, but that's his nature. He'll pare it down and eventually I have trusted him that it'll work out. I just do. I call it blind trust, whatever you want to call it. I feel like it'll work out.
But yeah, now it's just a scramble. I mean, now it's just a scramble. Now it's now it's oh shit, my game plan completely failed. I got to scrap it and now let me see what I can salvage. They are in salvage mode right now. It's uh, it's it's not good now. I mean, thankfully for him, thankfully for Republicans. The Dems are just and crazy and they have.
If the Democrats had like a legit, shittimate person that was gonna run, I totally agree that we'd be looking at holy shit, this is a this is dangerous. There's a big contender on the left side. But they have not They have nobody and and and I know they're quaking in their shoes. They're trying to find somebody that can do anything to disrupt what Trump is doing or change the way. But I haven't heard any name yet that they think can do. Forget about alc and Bernie. That's ally ridiculous.
But you're you're thinking presidential and the first thing that's going to happen is the midterms, and at the UH, the incumbent party at midterms, on average loses a ship ton of seats.
Yes.
Now, now, if you if you have a really bad circumstance in the country, a bad economy, especially self inflicted wounds delivering you a bad economy, you're probably going to lose more than the average. If they just lose some, they are going to be looking at not having the House and not having Senate, and Trump's agenda being absolutely stop dead in its tracks, him being a lame duck, them two years to find a candidate. I mean, it's not hard to Trump took on a lot of risk
with this. He had a he had a great tailwind coming in. Look on one hand, I admire him for having the balls to take a shot at something, especially where the Republican Party is you know, is absolutely now the party of the middle class and the working class in this country. That has been inverted one hundred and eighty degrees. The strategy here, it just it. It feels like it came out of a weekend at mar a Lago,
not months and months and months of deep consideration. Because even if you re sure a lot of this business, even if factories are built and everything else, uh, robotics, robotics is going to do the majority of everything related to the automotive wat you're not you're not putting people back in jobs they used to do a decade ago before all this stuff was off short because it's going to be re short as stuff that's done with robotics and and AI and event.
But any president would face that that's the that's the way the future is going. It's not like it's it's not his fault. That's just the way it's going. Robotic.
No I know, but but it's being presented as the path back for the working class. I don't. I mean, look, I don't know enough of a lot of people that are very very smart that uh, that I do a little reading with.
Don't make Shapiro say what does Shapiro say? Because I know he's the brilliant mind. Uh is he putting it down?
Listen to what Shapiro says. Listen, I mean there's and there's a lot more than him. Yeah, no, no one's and and from the very beginning, from the very very beginning. So uh the guy he's still got there. He's got to get rid of that guy. Not not best at best, it's good the other nut job.
Okay, I can't think what position where? What are we talking about?
He's the one, the one who did all this, the one talking about how it's going to be the greatest thing in the world and we're going to turn it around, Howard, but uh not say not whatever, folks, We do this to you all the time now, sixty two year old brain and you know what we're talking about. But yeah, yeah, but anyway we we uh Trump's uh, Trump's not in a great position with with this stuff right now. And it's and it's it's an own goal. I mean, that's
it's friendly fire. That none of this had to had to happen this way, but you know, hopefully we uh we get a bunch of these deals put in place. And the part of the strategy that is right is the put the pressure on China sort of it, because we can put China in a very difficult position. But but you know, some of these countries are running to China to partner with China, to do a bunch of things with and and to change standard off of the US dollar onto some other I mean, all of this
stuff really dangerous. So anyway, get off of that. You know, it's more important. But the kool aid Man challenge.
Oh yeah, I heard, I heard this has been going on. It's been crazy. People who own homes are going bananas with this shit. Kids are running through fences with the kool aid Man.
Tell me, we wouldn't have been all over this back.
Oh my god. If they were TikTok when we were fifteen and sixteen, we would have done all of them, except for eating tide pads. But when it comes to disrupting property and dumping and running through people, we did that stuff without even having a TikTok challenge. I remember Machico shot down Steve Peladino's cherry tree during a party at Open House Park. I mean, we did awful allegedly. Allegedly, Yeah, sure, we did awful things back then. Yeah, running through fences.
Of the videos are the funniest frigging thing, because, first of all, a lot of people put up flimsy fences out there. I mean, folks, if you're putting up a fence, at least you know, get that that mid range quality at home d so that the ship's gonna stay in the ground and not be so flimsy. But some of these, it's just unbelievable. It's like they could they could be walking at a high speed and break through the offences. But uh, yeah, this has a this has some momentum.
I think this one's gonna go for a while.
Yeah, it's a good one. It's a lot of fun. There's a lot of there's a lot of things out there now I'm watching that. Uh not so many, not so much challenges, But I love what's happening with people who are trying to or run down Trump signs on people's lawns. And the people who put those Trump signs out have gotten savvy to lay down pieces of wood with nails sticking up hidden underneath some leaves. And these people who are running down Trump signs are getting you know,
two flat tires. Uh. There's a lot of stuff like that. I love counter espionage, a lot of stuff. There's another guy that had like an air potato gun behind it bad Trump sign on a fence, and as soon as someone went to rip it down, they got blasted by mashed potatoes in their face and chest. I like this kind of stuff. But the kool Aid challenge, it's one of the few things that TikTok has pushed that I'm behind. It would be a lot of fun to do that.
Yeah, yeah, too bad, we can't. He can't go back. And again we'd have been great at that one.
Chico would have ran through any fence. Forget about it.
Chico couldn't run. Even had seventeen Chico couldn't run.
I know. I love that he was on the lacrosse team though. That was always fun. Started string goalie. I believe whatever was.
That the did he get a letter? Did he get a letter in lacrosse?
He probably did, he was on the team. The only great thing he did on the cross was one day he had his his lacross stick and he got the big heavy white ball and he launched it. It was by the baseball field and this ball is traveling at great speed, at least eighty yards and it hits Miss Coachinino in his back and he went down. It was like the luckiest shot in the world. He never found out Chico did it. He just thought it was an er and throw by somebody. But yeah, he got a
lot of it. That was probably his best move with the lacrosse stick in his whole career.
He almost took out our marine biology teachers. That would have been that would have been horrible. Well would have happened to us the rest of the year.
You know, we never talked about. We didn't even tell your son the other day about the hijinks of high school. We forget that Chico stole the class money for our end of the year, like beach beach dinner, beach lood, you know, like whatever the I don't know how much, probably like a couple of hundred bucks to get hamburgers and hot dogs and barbecue by the beach for the last week of senior year. And he was the guy. They made him the treasurer, which is the stupidest thing.
And of course you have sconded with the money.
Who decided he could be the fucking treasure. That's the dumbest move I've ever heard of in my life.
He campaigned and he got it. As soon as that money came into his hands. We never got our Hamburger hot dogs and end of the year class and.
No one ever came after him for that.
What could you do? School was going to be over in four or five days, and it was just like, forget it.
We did have the stories going in the car the other day. By the way, I'm still thawing out. That was the coldest that something. I had no strategy there. I mean I first of all, when I bought the tickets, I had no idea what the weather was going to be. I had no idea which was the sun side of the field, which was the shade side of field. But when you're you know, when it's at the end of April, you don't expect forty five degrees with the wind gusting and uh and to be on the shade side of the field.
I was laughing at the parking lot. Attendant two had, you know, neckerchiefs like scarves up to their nose just our eyes were visible, and I thought, what are these guys doing? Is it about COVID. What it's a beautiful fifty five degree day. No, they knew stand out there for four hours and it's cold. Yesterday it was eighty degrees here.
We could have used that on Saturday. Alright, by the way, fifty five it might have been when we started in the wall tour. It was in the forties.
Oh yeah, it was.
How I mean we bought those two stupid blanket fetch Jack's. Jack sold one of the blanks.
He sold, good fam he's sold.
They're not proud of nothing, not selling the cubs blanket after it.
I'm not drinking anymore. Sixteen dollars of beer. Sixteen dollars.
Yeah, that's incredible. That's incredible that they can do. Look at the thing. So I get a I get a you know, are you happy with your service? Blah blah blah follow up from stub hub, and I never responded to those things. Have to I crucified them. Yeah, I said, you want to know how I feel. Here's how I feel.
Really shitty to have paid one hundred dollars to you people for a freaking parking spot, right, and then to see that you put forty five dollars worth of fees on top of that, only to arrive at that garage, at that parking lot the day of the game and find out that showing up that day, I could have just paid sixty dollars and gotten the same exact parking spot. So you wripped me off by one hundred and thirty percent or whatever the hell it was. That's how I feel about.
Your such bullshit.
I don't I think it wasn't stub Hub. I think it was ticket MATD was going after. I think it's ticket Master because of all the inflated service charges on these concert tickets. And you know what, and I think a lot of it was inspired by Travis Kelsey's girlfriend there on her tour and what people were having to pay for concert tickets. But this is this is a
complete rip off. Guys coming from out of town wants to take his buddy and his son to a game, and you know, it wasn't like we were gonna I was gonna buy the best seats, and I was just wanted decent seats, and there were decent seats, but the service, the plasure of the seats was fine. But then to have to pay a service fee on every single ticket, that is like thirty percent of ticket costs. And then the same thing with the damn parking spot freaking break service,
what service actually gets done? There see digital representation of the ticket that goes from the season ticket holder to stub Hub that they then publish in their site. That then it's like and then ft, come on, look at.
It's like it's like airline fees there. You know, I find a ticket for a one way for two thirty. You go, oh great, two thirty. It's great. By the time you do all the fees and pay for the luggage and this is that it's a four hundred and twenty five dollars ticket. It just it just doesn't matter.
It's disgusting and what what working class dad can afford to take a family to a ballgame in twenty twenty five. I mean, you're not getting out of there even if you go nosebleeds, which they don't really have. It's one thing about that stadium. It's only two tiers. So let's say you pay fifty dollars a ticket for family for you're paying two hundred dollars for tickets, You're gonna pay sixty for parking. You're too sixty if you have a The hot dogs were what the hot dogs were?
Hot dogs? I think for thirteen or twelve. They were big too.
For freaking hospital. Look you got a seven ninety nine for a couple. What do we pay for the stupid?
The hot chocolate they were seven bucks apiece to hot chocolate for.
Not hot but luke warm.
There was warm chocolate I bought. I bought four drinks, tooth pretzels, and a beef sandwich. It was eighty bucks.
Welcome to the Old Man Show, where we can what life is like today.
I used to see the Yankees for five dollars.
God, I hate it when my father did that, but it's so true.
Let me tell you something right down. My mother didn't lie. She said we would cut school with one dollar, take the subway into Manhattan from Brooklyn. And she used to call it chinks because that was Chinese food. Back then, we'd have some chink food. It was horrible. See Frank sinatrat the Paramount and take the subway home and still have changed left when we got home.
Okay, you were with me the way until the c Sinatra at the para? What did Sinatra get for a ticket at the para?
I have no idea. But my mother used to cut school and see him at the Paramount in the nineteen forties, and whatever the price was, it was for a dollar. They did all that, and she'd say, we used to buy this, we had candy. I said, how could candy cost less than a dollar? She said, because they used to sell twenty pieces for a nickel. Oh that's how you do it. I'm not sure it's it was maybe Sinatra's tickets for fifty cents. I don't know. I don't know.
I'd have to look that up. But yeah, it was not it was a different world.
It was. It was so what what are you watching? What's what's good now that you're watching?
Uh?
What?
I just start Well, I saw a couple of movies which I wasn't too fond of it. Not I you know what I liked. I liked I've watched the whole first season of the Kevin Bacon thing, Bondsman, The Devil is the Devil. Yeah, I know it's a little out there, but I love the Studio on Wednesdays. I love that show on Apple. I haven't seen your Friends and Neighbors yet with John Hams.
I was about to tell you how great that is?
Okay, I heard, I heard it's great.
You get there, you know the premise, right, No, no, okay. So so he's like a big hedge, fun guy who gets uh, gets laid off in a laid off, gets fired on a completely he ends up hooking up with somebody who works in another department. She doesn't work for him. It's completely consensual, and she doesn't go and complain about it. They just find out. Someone finds out that it happened, and they want to get rid of them, so they fire him and he lives in I think it's Bedford. It's somewhere.
It's beautiful town, beautiful.
Town, really expensive home. I mean, you know, ten million, plush kind of home there.
It's it's really pretty.
And and Bedford, Bedford was where the Christmas movie with Jimmy Stewart. I think that was a wonderful life was really ok. But it's absolutely beautiful. Yeah, and he uh, he picks up a new occupation. All his friends up there are so absolutely filthy rich and they have so many things that they won't possibly miss one little thing here, one little thing there. So yeah, it's uh, and it's
it's really clever. How they've done. It's really really good and I want to say that some some some great characters and he's really good in it, so definitely definitely do that one. Mobland is really good too. Do you love her?
I don't like it really. I think I think that Pierce Brosan is embarrassing himself with his supposedly English accent. I hear Irish in him. It doesn't work for me.
Wait, isn't it an Irish accent?
I thought it was supposed to be more Well.
It's set in London, but they came from northern Iisle and he's he's Irish.
Well, then I'm wrong about the accent thing. But outside of Tom Hardy, nobody thrills me. And it's got guy Richie Direct. Think it's got Helen Mirren. It's got big stars.
Helen Mirren's great.
I'm a big Tom Hardy guy and I think he's the only one I'm I'm interested in looking at on screen. I watched too, so I got time. I'll give it more time.
He's great and uh, I think Telen Mirren is hysterical in it. But the other one that we're watching is uh. Is it called Crazy Long River or something?
Like that.
It's a it's Amanda Sea freed or liked. Yeah, she's a uh, she's a cop with a very fucked up family and background, and and there's a uh there's a serial killer who's who's killing prostitutes in Kensington and her sister is missing and her sister was a prostitute in Kensington. And so it's it's a very interesting, it's very well acted and uh and the good news is the entire season's out, so you can these the studio love it. But to wait a week between I don't like.
I know right, that's how spoiled we got. We I don't want to wait a week. I want to binge. Uh yeah, that that bothers me, And I wait every Wednesday so tomorrow I can watch it. But that bug that bugs me. I want to see them all.
The business Model bugs me too, So like, what does is that a Netflix series? That's an Apple series? Okay, so what does Apple think that if they let me have the whole thing at once, that I'm going to quick binge that show and then you cancel my subscription and then and then wait until well not the next year, because they're like six shows. The average person has way more than one show coming from a studio or an app out. However you want to look at it that
they that they like. So what I'm gonna pay this month, cancel next month, pay again the month after that, while my other show comes back, and cancel the next month. I don't know what data they're looking at that says this is the way they should do it. Give me the whole freaking show. And give me the whole freaking show. And if I have to then commit that I'm not
going to cancel, you, then do something. But let me let me consume it how I want to consume it, because I hate because you forget how the ship that goes on.
Well, that's that's true, you forget a week later. But what also happens to me when you when I've I've been binging and watching so many things that I forget the names of these shows and movies I like or dislike. Because I'm like not like a lot of people. I love to watch everything, even if it's on in the background. I keep I love consuming TV. I just I'm a big fan of entertainment. But I do tend to forget. Oh yeah, what happened in the end? Of that show
had that season end. That's why I lost my love for Yellowstone because it was gone for too long. But when you can binge everything at once, then yeah, I'll take a weekend and just sit sit in bed and watch everything. I love that shit love it.
Yeah, well it I mean, imagine the studio for people that like get turned onto it six months from now, yeah, and can watch it bang bang bang bang. They're gonna absolutely love it.
Yeah.
Yeah. At least the it's not episodic, so can you can do that and each of the episodes is self contained. But for a show like the one I was just talking about John Ham's show, you want to be able to because it is episode and you want to be able to take in the whole season at once. But the way to do that is to wait until the whole seasons.
I don't I don't like that. It catch me. It puts me in a bad mood. I agree, I agree, all right.
So we've settled that. I don't know what else we've settled. I'm angry today. I'm angry.
I'm angry. Yeah, well, I'm typically angry. I got at the end of the month. I don't know, I got to you got to go to a doctor. You're doing your ship. I gotta got on a plane and get back to La which even though my family's there, I just going back to LA. I don't know. I just I don't. I never feel excited, like no, I got im back to groundhog Day. I'm back to the state. I don't know.
I'll tell you about my doctor's strategy.
What's that? So?
All right, I'm going to do so we're in a new location that I have to find a new doctor or a new family medicine doctor. Right, I don't do young guys. Fucking that that so old guys are in play as potential and then I can't do attractive women.
Never you're not.
Getting a peek at my coal and if you're like, you're seven or higher forgetting so. So my review was reviewing snapshots of doctors and then looking at where their offices are and a little bit about their their reviews and confidence level. But mostly it's this doctor is going to look inside my ass, and I need I need to be comfortable with the fact that they're going to be looking inside my ass.
And I mean this is just not my wife's Like, you're why are you so I'm not crazy.
Any guy is going to go through the same process. Honey, it's not me. You know, I'm not having some thirty five year old stud male doctor looking at me like, you know.
You let yourself go? What happened to you?
I don't want to abe and I'm not I'm not going and having some freaking hotty because I'm going to have to pull my unit back out with tongs out of the inside of my body after they're going to look at my turn up my ass. So there's a freaking strategy here.
Well, I think you got an idea because I think we there should be an app much like Tender, where you can swipe on the doctor you'd like to see.
That's good, that's great. Match match. I basically did that, but I had to do it by manipulating what was available online. But then it's not a perfect strategy because here's the deal. For whatever reason, maybe because she's wise to my strategy, this doctor put a not friendly picture in the thing. She ends up being a lot better looking in her picture.
Oh no, So I get there and I'm like, oh fuck all that all that pregame preparation right right, and now she's an attractive one.
What am I gonna do?
Well, Listen, I tell you. I had my prostate checked a few weeks ago, and I didn't know who was going to be. I get to the office and I find that it's a It's a female. I looked at her picture and I started studying texts to my friends, going shit, my urologist is a female. Now, she wasn't hot, but I get in there and she was really nice, really sweet. But I didn't think she was going to make me stripped down and in front of a full
length Mira investigate my testicles and I'm there standing. I dropped my sweats and she's grabbing them and telling me there's a lot of fluid here. This could be a hernia. You got a hernie here and your belly button. And I don't look in for full length mirrors. I haven't for many years. I don't care to see it, but I had to and this woman. I didn't get turned on, but I, of course I became a turtlehead. Your penis just can't accept that. And it was very uncomfortable, even
though she was nice. I would have rather had it older man, because they understand they have the same equipment. They get it.
So dude, here's here was my strategy yesterday on that is. Thankfully she said, I'll be right back and we'll do the you know, we'll do the rest of them stripped, stripped down to your.
You talk you talked on it.
So yeah, so I have I got to give myself a half a handy, Yeah, because I can't. I can't deal. So but so then she's watching in real time the shrinkage occur. It's like she's she's under the wave as I go into the sixty degree ocean water.
But yeah, I don't know the use the phone, find porn hub right away. It's just like a couple of loose tugs for for two minutes and then hopefully you get some good lengths, just respectable length.
They should sell like fake shafts that you can wear to the doctor. It's just just just a fake shaft, nothing ouse because they don't they don't do anything with your shaft. They're only looking at your at your balls, right, So give me a give me a realistic looking fake shaft so I don't have to worry about like a shrinks or anything like that.
Well listen, not that I'm anybody special, but back when I had relative amount of fame around me. It's much worse because I know doctors talked to people at cocktail parties and such, and even though they're not supposed to. Oh yeah I had a patient. You might know of me at this TV show? Yeah very uh not hung too well. You know, of course that stuff is set at cocktail parties the end.
Of your career because you went to the.
Yeah, like, I know they think he's like a thing, but I saw him naked. I don't get it. I don't get it.
Yeah, there's probably some master text group that that doctor's on with all the other doctors.
And juice and our information is out there.
Ye really use that fake cheft yesterday like.
A lisonator, like a fake exactly. Just give me that for the visit.
You know what? I bet there's one something like the solid Ship for women that's out there. Nobody makes anything for men. No, my wife put an address, I have to put these pasties on it.
Well, I don't.
We don't have things like that.
We don't have it. We don't have rubber chicken cutlets we put in our bra Why don't we have something like that for our pants when we go into a function. It's nice for a woman to see a bulge because listen, I hate to say it, but I never had a problem with the size of myself. But as you get older, you get kind of like kind of winds down like not.
It looks old. It looks old. You get you get old, Dick.
Let me tell you it's told Dick. Here's the best story, real quick. When Rocco was a baby, he's learning how to do peepee standing up. He said, I'm next to him and I'm showing daddy showing him how to do peepe. So we're both doing it together. And at some point I think he was three or four, he said to me, yours looks like an old soldier, General Custer. I guess he saw the helmet and just thought, well, that's old. All the hair like the kids don't understand that. Yes,
you're gonna have Harriet balls. One day, this before I was manscaping and he just thought it looked like an old soldier. I guess he thought I was humping a big rucksack. I don't know, but he saw so. Watching too many documentaries of World War I to apparently it's cool.
Somebody, you know what they have to be out there. They have to be out there at least like boxers that have a pre installed schlong compartment. And that compartment is like a you know, uh, it's like a ten inch so you fit your six inches in there. Yeah, and but but outwardly it looks like you're packing ten that'd be that's a that's a good that's a seller.
That'll beliebe. The girls of the front know about it. People talk, you know, Uh, yeah, listen, I know, men just get the raw end of the stick, pint in the punt. We're supposed to be tough and handle everything, but we got feelings too. Well.
You know, we got a lot of guy listeners that are in their sixties listening to this show. Maybe that's the the next Uh. It's been a while since we did a good a good one. I still have my famous A Bitch pedal file here.
The pedal mail file. Yeah, maybe we should do a show about what what what men in their sixties are facing. Whether it's doctors, females. Uh, there's a lot of things.
That's an important topic. There's not no one is super serving the sixty to seventy five year old male demographic. We're not getting enough attention. Only the rich men rich seventy five we don't get attention. So this demographic needs some attention. One of the things we need, we need specially designed underwear that make it look like we still have young dick and hard and it's in like a larger package. So I'm gonna investigate that.
It's got a good way to everything. Everything females do for our benefit, mainly is to enhance their appeal. They enhance their height with heels, their chest, their the makeup they wear. I mean, God bless them, but there's not much men can do. We are who we are.
Well, we should do something about that. Somebody'll stand up for I'm sixty to seventy five year old man, and we're just the guys to.
Do it exactly exactly I'm in.
We'll do it like a prune juice challenge or.
Something I'm in. Although there you go, Bill Belichick at his age pulling in a twenty four year old. There's hope out there.
Well, yeah, I don't know how the most respected coach in NFL history ends up allowing that same girl to make a fool of him everywhere he goes.
But she's got a plan. She's got a plan. Man, I saw that face when she interrupted the interview, Just her face watching it is not the typical face of a twenty four year old girl who's dating an older man. She has a plan. Maybe it's not evil, but she's got a plan to stop there.
Maybe he's popping the Ta dalla phills like there's no tomorrow. But but you know, maybe it's the she's convinced him that in the age of nil, you're going to be a college coach and you want to attract the best players. It's you know, I'm an important asset.
I understand what I will you listen what I even look My last girlfriend was, you know, did her best to try to let me know people women like you better when you sound like this, when you say this instead of that, this good input they can give you. But if she loved them so much, she never would have let him go on TV with a hole in his sweater. That looked ridiculous. He had a big hole, but it didn't had his signature. Look now, he wears hoodies, short sleeve hoodies, but a rip hole in a sweater
that's not what you go on TV with. That That was women tend to make their guys look their best. If you don't do that, that's something wrong.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't like that.
We'll have to watch that one, all right, dude, funny with you this weekend and.
Help you feel better.
Thanks for listening, and folks see it.