Everything Is A Bitch Episode Ten: Bring Albert Home

Hey, hey, hey, welcome to Everything is a Bitch. Dude. This is episode number ten. Do you believe ten? To milestone and boy, I mean we could do three episodes today on all the shit going on Everything is a Bitch and then some Yeah. I think, uh, I think we named appropriately here, even though it took about two seconds for us to come up with perfect. Well, you said a long time ago you wanted the is a bitch? I have you have? So this is whatever

we talk about sports, everything in politics, fame is perfect. The more time goes by, the more everything is a bitch. Sir, I am Mike. If you know here, lifelong friend aj Benza who's packing up hading to Vegas in morning to do some poker one hundred and thirteen degrees, No problem in Vegas. Well, you'll be in a nice air condition studio. I know, I know, I know. So four days you record,

Yeah, Wednesday through Wednesday. There four days Wednesday through Saturday, and then I'll leave Sunday and I'll come back mid August for the remainder of the season. I think it's another eight shows in August. So you crank out, you crank out two episodes a day, two a day, Yeah to a day. If we're really going good, we can do three, but two is fine. Who is fine without stepping on your feet. We me and my co host Nick Shulman, who's a really cool dude from New York much

younger than us, twenty years younger more. And he was hustling pool halls at thirteen on the Upper West Side. This kid is such a great professional poker player. And we have a good, a good thing going together, back and forth. We speak the same language. He's from Brooklyn, he's in New Yorker, but he's out in Vegas now. Professional poker player. You know he's living. He hasn't he hasn't tried to drag you into a

No, nobody does that. The first the only time they did it was when I went and met Gabe Kaplan and my producer, Maury, And Maury is the guy that produces poker after Dark, High Stake. He is the poker producer America. He's the guy everybody knows. Maury and I met them for their meeting to do this show. And I told you in the past.

The the thing came out in the in the paper, not papers, in the Hollywood breakdowns, looking for a host looking for a J. Bens A type, and I said to my agent, if I can't get this, I'm gonna go back to Long Island chop bait on the party boat. Meanwhile, I never played poker in my life. I get to see Gabe Kaplan next to me and we're talking about poker, and I'm just bullshitting my

way through. Yeah, full house flopped the whole thing inside straight. Then they take me to a casino and I knew nothing, and they go, oh, you don't play. I said, no, I bullshit in my way in here to get the job. I said, but I can learn it. And ever since then I've been learning. And they just accepted that AJ is the everyday regular guy who likes poker but doesn't understand everything, and

Nick's the expert. So it ended up working out that I can be the every every guy who sits home and doesn't watch a few You you understand it. I do. I do. But in the beginning, like oh man, in the beginning, I remember it for lunch running to a sushi bar to have saki because I was so nervous. I had to have a drink. It was like I was getting on a flight or the Titanic. I couldn't do it. It's very difficult. Polker is very math, a lot of math, a lot of percentage, and that's not my strong suit.

But I've muscled through it and now I get ninety percent of it, so we're good. Well, now you know how the head of the Secret Service felt the same. We'll talk about that, talk about it after. I think though, there's one obvious story of the day that we've got to We've got to cover first. You know what this is, right, I believe it's about a pet, and I'm very sympathetic about this. Yeah, and I have to tell you I've been covering this story for quite a while.

I'll tell you some of the history of covering the story, but I go down here a softie. You're really see, Mike is such a devoted father of pets that this is the story that would I know this gets you going. I get it on the same link. Well, I've never I've never had this kind of a pet. But it's pretty amazing what actually happened with this guy was able to do with this pet. But anyway, we're starting with the story of the day, at least as far as we're concerned here

on everything as a bitch. And that is the story of a man in upstate New York, actually right outside of Buffalo, Oh, yes, who had his pet taken away by the government in March. A unique pet. It's a seven hundred and fifty pound alligator by the name of Albert Albert Fan Albert Albert, Albert the alligator. Now this guy whose name is Tony Cavalaro, I mean, come on, covered the Italian guy. Yeah, I mean, I know he was You know what that gator was eating every night?

We get to be seven hundred and fifty pounds, I mean, yeah, that's a lot of mozidel. You got to back, Okay. So Cavalero built a hundred and twenty thousand dollars that's what it cost him to build this special pen in his home. Hows Albert. So he lived in this one hundred and twenty thousand subterranean structure the guy had the guy had built for

him. So Cavalleros filed a lawsuit against the New York State Department of Environmental Conservation because they came and took Albert away from him a March, claiming that he did not have a valid license and Cavalaro said, quote, I've had a license in good standing for over thirty years. He's had thirty fricking years during which time the license was annually renewed by the DC, the Department of Environmental Conservation, without incident every year during that time period. Right, So

he's followed regulations all through those years. He's cared for Albert. He's never received a single violation of warning. In fact, when I first started to cover Cavalao and Albert, which I was doing as kind of a gag on real life or time journalism, it's serious. Here's the thing I couldn't believe is neighborhood kids would it was. It wasn't every day, but he would announce when you know, Albert was taking visitors, and neighborhood kids would like

line up fifty deep. Oh God to be able to come in. And the pictures in the movies, I mean, these aren't just kids like outside of the structure throwing a freaking chicken wing at Albert. They're sitting on his lap, they're on the couch watching TV. I mean, Albert is this gator was just completely completely domesticated, unbelievable. Was a star in the neighborhood.

And this guy had done everything that he was supposed to do for all of these years, for for all of these relicnsing imagine, I'm gonna release every freaking year. So anyway, back in November of I guess it was twenty twenty twenty. It is November twenty twenty, the DC changed their requirements for possession of dangerous animals. In order to get a Possession of Dangerous Animals permit, they changed some of the requirements and so Cavallero had to reapply for

his permit and prove that Albert's enclosure met all these new guidelines. Jesus. Then, in January twenty one, that DC seemed to ignore his previous messages and claimed that Albert's enclosure still needed to be made compliant with their new regulations, and then they stonewalled him for three years while he repeatedly reached out. It's really weird why they didn't do anything that is okay, go ahead. It doesn't make sense. This is ridiculous. So he went so far as

to get a state senator, Sean Ryan, involved in this thing. I mean, this guy was famous up there. I mean, you don't have the seven hundred and fifty pounds at Albert and you're not the you know, celebrated across the neighbor. Parents aren't letting their ten year olds come over your house to play. Well, first of all, if i'm I'm sorry, lugg albut but my kid's not getting on your freaking lap. Okay, we're

not doing that unless unless the kid is. Unless the kids you know, in trouble, I mean the kid, the kid had been the kid was in trouble. I mean, you know, as punishment on the spectrum, No, no, no, do that. But you know, if the kid broke some family rules, I mean, hey, you throw a baseball through the basement window, you're going to go over instead of someone. But no, but think about thirty years, all of those who knows how many

kids he had, so all of this this guy's gone through. You know, if you're lucky, you get your dog for ten or twelve years. If you're fortunate, thirty years. This guy has had Alberts. So, I mean, imagine how you know dedicated is I sent you a picture earlier today. I'm sure you saw unbelievable. That's the way this thing and you can see a little bit of his laying I his head on the alligator's head

like I do it, could see and you do it your dogs. It doesn't make sense to me that this allegat doesn't stop snap his head off. I don't understand. I mean, look, I've seen so many I'm so turned on with Instagram and how many people bomb with ravensne gofers, seals, goats, people have someone but an alligator in your house and to feel confident he's not going to bite your head off. Believe me, this guy doesn't have any girlfriends. He doesn't have anybody. I mean, does he have

kids? I doubt it. I think he lives alone. No, I think he's I think he's a loner. But he's but he's integrated himself into this neighborhood because he's become famous. Of course with all of this, so anyway, Jesus Christ, they so so that same Department of Environmental Conservation, after having not responded to the guy for three years, going him trying to

get a hold of them and get them to understand that he's enclosure. They spent one hundred and twenty thousand dollars on lives up to all their all their rules. They just First of all, if I'm part of that DC and you know you're in there at roll call in the morning, and I go, okay, uh, you know, Benza, you're on the detail to go pick up the seven hundred and fifty pounds alligator. Right, I'd rather rate a mob a mob boss is home, then go in for the gator.

But but they His explanation is basically that it was that kind of a deal where a bunch of these agents just surrounded his house, his house, and then you know, entered and uh and I spared you the picture of I think of Albert all wrapped up by those guys they took them out. I couldn't see that that was going to be so sad. No, it is. It is really really sad. And they they took him to something called Gator Country Adventure Park in Beaumont, Texas, Buffalo, Buffalo. That's

a long that's a long haul. But I know he went. You got I would move there. He has they have, They wouldn't let he's He's saying that he's he's about to get a court date to be heard, and he's been told that once he has that court date, they'll be allowed to go to Texas. Now, I imagine Albert's pretty smart and pretty docile, but he also might be pretty pissed off. He's been without you know, Pepperoni and Mozodel since March. Who knows, who knows, who knows?

How they've got him done up in this uh place in Bomont. I mean, don't. I don't think they even have a good Italian Delian bone. You're not getting anything anything near you, Chef boyar be a can Ravioli. Maybe I look at we're big. We're big dog people. I'm a big animal person. I'm sure you are too. The thought of. Like I said before we got on the air, I haven't seen Tutsi in six months. When I look at her picture, I can't look at a picture I

get two says I well up with tears. I know she's being taken care of well, but an allegator seven hundred poundsand change is a different kind of thing. It's more than a human. You're taking care of something that's just gigantic and really can take over your life. I don't know what his bill is for feeding his beast, but I feel bad for the guy. I think this is just a bookkeeping mistake. He didn't follow the right permit for

this, and now they're just they're just fucking with him. He's after thirty years. Man, it sounds fishier than that. I mean, it looked from a distance, it sort of looks to me like somebody made a decision that this was dangerous, that the situation was dangerous, and they were going to do something about it. I mean, that's my guess. Could you imagine you don't just lose, No, you can't. I'm thinking about you.

When you went and got your puppies. Where you flew in a plane was an upstate New York, when you got the when that was deuce, when he went to the bathroom when we were stopping the tarmac, took a ship in his bag twice he shipped the bag, and then you have to clean him up in his small plane, not a regular you know, seven thirty seven. And then he does it again. You're apologizing to the whole

flight people on the fly. Could you imagine if you were taking care of a little alligator, a little albert I don't know how much they shit, but a dog's diarrhea can't compare to what an alligator lays down. Well, but you can't take an alligator in a in a bag and put it under

your seat and a plane. But maybe you can a baby alligator. But the worst thing about what happened to me with Douce is that those tiny, tiny, tiny bathrooms they have on those kind of and you you, in order for water to come out of the fuck, you have to be depressing it. It doesn't get you don't have a you don't have a Spiggott. You turn. You have to have your finger on the So I have to

have the dog arrange so that the ship's not getting all over me. I got one outfit to get to Chicago, right, So I gotta keep I gotta keep the dog and the ship off of me. I got to keep the water flowing. I got to get the soap, and I gotta clean out the bag too so that he can go back in it. I do all of that. I know it's a jet. It was a cher jet, all right, But I do all of that. Yeah, you know, like whatever probably set forty people one of those Oh my god, and

uh, I get all that done. I go back to the seat, but we still can't take it. Was still in a weather delay, stuck on the tarmacket and white planes. About forty five minutes more, bye, and all of a sudden two, oh my god, oh man, he did yeah, he took a second ship. Well, listen, I trade places with you because my dog Chasuary died on the airplane with me. You're to la horrifying. But you know, when you're dealing with a dog, a pet on an airplane, it's a special kind of a special kind of

parenting is involved. You really have to know what you're doing. I sympathize with you. Now. There should be a foot pedal on those sinks. How did people have sex and airplane bathrooms? I've never tried that. I have a problem liking my own ass in an airplane bathroom. How are people having sex? I think you put the girl on the sink. Maybe nobody was having sex in the bathroom, was in I can promise you that irregular plane just yes, I don't know. Look, there are all these things

that are made to be like you ever try and have sex? What we just crashing around you in a pile of fucking sand. No, that's not there's nothing. Well yeah, yet it's romanticized in these movies and made out

to be like the most romantic, sexiest scene ever. You're rolling around in the Pacific Ocean, fifty eight degree shrivel up waves on the sandwich shells banging into you like the balls with a bull shark probably spotting you from ten feet away, jellyfish ten ft behind you, get out of you, you know, I mean, I want to know. I want to know who the guy is, who who had that kind of couple. I want to know the couple that had that sex and thought it was great. Probably the same

ones that would have had steps in that same sized bathroom I was. Anyway, Albert, I want to I want to get a video of when Cavallero cavigeros is gets down to Beaumont and is reunited. That'd be awesome. They I hope they follow this story. It shouldn't be a and done. They got to get to the bottom of this. And I want to hear the

ending. I want this guy reunited with this with his allegan well and is it is it going to be a hug or is Albert just going to buy his fucking head off and be like yo march without any genera of salami, as you said, And now you show up, you know, all right.

The only story, the story that pissed me off more than what was happening to Albert today is when I heard Now you remember in ninety six, Remember Muhammad Ali, my Hamad Ali shaking as he went to light the to light the torch to get the Olympic left right in Atlanta ninety six, And what a moment that held my breath. I held my breath the whole time. It was incredible, I know, And what an amazing honor it is to be the person asked to carry the American flag into the opening ceremonies.

I mean, if you look across the years at the athletes that have been asked to do that, I mean, they're they're not only great athletes, they were they're great Americans. Sure. And that's why this really pissed me off, because I know, you know who's doing it. Tell tell everybody who's doing it this year? Well, I mean, wait, what are

we talking about? What's what are we getting at? What's the second story about who's carrying the American flag into the opening lebron So naturally we got the athletes from the NBA in Paris for the Olympics, which I don't know who's gonna watch it. They almost lost to South Sudan, which was horrifying, and South Sudan's underrated. Yeah, I apparently they are. But Lebron James is going to carry his torch and look, does he deserve to be in

that position? Yeah, sure he does for the career he's had. But then you have to mix in the way this guy has spoken about America and how he's done things in the last five ten years that don't put him in the same light as say, of Michael Jordan. Not enough patriotism, a little too much bullshitting and aggravation and blaming people for his his issues. I don't like the idea, but I kind of get it because he's been around

forever was it twenty one years now in the NBA? How long? Running a freaking hoax that someone wrote something on your garage door that was racist? Right, I can't, I can't. I can't take the freaking guy. But but remember you also have people like and I don't remember who did it in the twenty twenty Olympics that was actually twenty twenty one that they were held

in. But also he had nobody in the you know, that was the freaking covid Olympics with nobody in the stands and everything else, so nobody would remember anyway. But you have Katie Ladecki that the swimmer, you have someone Biles, the the gymnast. I mean, you have some people who have

who are pretty decorated Olympians that are there. Why not, Why are we letting this guy carry the American flag this I can't think of an athlete who has less respect for the American flag than this guy, and we're having him carry the flag into the Olympics. Why Michael Jordan, this is no. This is you have to be a team member. You have to you have to be on the team to do the carry. So this is as the

team enters the the arena that opening night, right. So here's the problem that people are not really realizing the the the men's the Olympic team has some issues. Forget about the narrow win over South Sudan. There's been talk about they're not gelling together because apparently they want everything to go through Lebron and at his age, you got guys that are in their twenties that want to run and gun, and apparently the edict is it's got to go through Lebron and

a lot of guys. Did you see what's his name? The sixer? Joel Embiid said it flat out. We got too many guys who are old Lebron's, old Duranse, old Curry's, other cusps. You know, these young guys want to run and gun. I mean, I can't believe Embiid said that. But is Lebron the kind of guy that could be in the Olympic ceremony carrying a torch? Of course, his career has been outstanding, but I don't like his personality, especially in the last five to seven years.

He's been a shit patriot and I believe me, he'll probably tell the Olympic committee that Bronni should carry the flag for a while too. It's very ridiculous. Well, it's funny if you so they call this rule is called flag bearer. You are the flag bearer, just like bear, just like if you're a Paul bearer in a funeral, you're a flag bearer. Right. So he's interviewed and listening closely to the interview, he says, I realize how prestigiou this moment is and for someone to be asked to be the

flag barrier. Yes, you bury the flag barrier barrier. So I think I think that maybe Lebron thinks he's going to get to dig a hole and bury the flag in it. And maybe that's why he's so excited about it, because he brought a shovel, would do what he want to do. So maybe they just when they explain flag bearer to him, he thought, you know, flag barrier and and he's going to get to just you know, dig down. You know what do you think? Look, I know

what you mean. I've lost my patience for this guy. I loved his basketball play for so many years, but I keep seeing things on social media that compare him to Michael. I don't think there's any comparison. Michael's the best. However, there's this video showing how Michael dealt with people in the stands who were egging him on or knocking him versus Lebron and Michael would hear somebody say some shit and put and then go out and score twenty points in

four minutes and put his finger on his lips to say. Lebron sees a guy in the stands who's talking shit, he grabbed the reference and throw him out he's not talking nice about me. That this is such a difference in players that I lost respect for Lebron always crying about a foul. Jordan was hammered every play, never said ship. I mean he did, but not like Lebron. The guy cries every week. So give him his give him his torch. And uh, I mean, do you watch the whole Olympics.

I'll watch the beginning in some particular events, but I'm not gonna pull up a chair for the next whatever. How well does it start exactly? I think it starts this week this week, I mean, it starts this weekend. But I was watching There's a there's a he just watched the documentary called Receivers on Netflix, which was I saw that I watched, so coming off of that, I see this thing for track and field and so we

started watching them. We're only like three episodes in. But these these track and field athletes, the Americans are just like the w NBA players that hate Caitlin Clark. I mean, except the eyelashes are bigger, the nails are longer. It's the craziest ship. Like the girl who's the fastest girl in the United States? Right now? Is it takes about it takes about five

seconds of exposure to her before you want to kill her. I mean, well they get they get it from Florence Griffith Jarna with the nails and the makeup that that that poster was on their walls and when they were little girls, don't you know, I know, it's it's ridiculous. In the W n b A, the makeup and I mean, what's the name by you? Barbie is wearing gigantic hair extensions. Her hair is not naturally to her lower back. The things these women do in the W do you have to

see? So so there was track and field. Jamaica has become the big rival to the United States, right, you know, you had Usain Bolt and then you have and the there's a rivalry between for the one hundred meters dash in the Olympics, between a Jamaican girl and this. I think it's Lacari or Richards Richardson. Okay, Jacari Richardson, That's exactly how it is. Okay, It's impossible to watch this show and not root for Jamaica.

It's impossible to not root for Jamaica. And I say that at the same time, there are there are these fabulous like uh, what's her name, Alison Felix and uh, Michael Jo. We've had all these great Olympians that uh, that bring you know, so much class to the sport. And then and no one a coach can't put his arm around this girl and say, hey, you know wheel it in? What doing those days? You can't. This is all branding. It's different world. I'm looking at a

pictures of Chicari right now. Remember she she uh didn't she fly with weed? She got in trouble for weed. I think her grandmother died of some shit and she was getting high and they busted around it. Another excuse. I mean, these girls and these youngsters. That was your friend Brittany, who, by the way, wants the baby to call her pops. You

saw that, right, dude. Come on, I've been look, I've been saying it for years and by the way, I want to say this, I had at least six people who love this show jump on me and go, hey, I don't like the fact that Mike didn't agree with you. That Alex Jones called nine to eleven. I said, I'll address it. When I talked to me. He goes, he goes. He said it before it happened. I said, well, he said that Osama bin Laden, who was known as a great terrorist, it might strike you know.

Blah blah blah. He mentioned buildings, he mentioned airplanes, so he did. He did say that in July before September, although Alex has said things that are also said a monumental out of other ship. That's fun. A couple of things stuff to the wall. Either way, getting back to this track star, you know they're young kids. I mean we're sixty two now, we're in a different area in our lives. We don't remember what it was like to be a youngster and get the ticket to the Olympics.

You're not gonna quit smoking your weed. You're not gonna You're gonna you're gonna put more makeup on, bigger eyelashes, more tattoos, because it's all about branding now. And that's not but that's not the way that look at a lot of the other US team members, it don't look like that. No,

they don't carry themselves that way. It's not I know, it's someone they need leadership, just like they needed I mean, she needed parenting in leadership because it's out of control with the look at the look at the NBA. Might they see the NBA All the men have one hundred tattoos. It's the only sport. You can't see him in football, you can't see him in baseball, but basketball, you see these guys having one hundred tattoos. All these chicks are gonna want to take them when they get to the spot.

They just it's just a different era. I can't imagine what they're gonna look like thirty years for now when they have a tattoo on their s and it was a you know, a tramp stamp, and in thirty years they're not going to be able to spell the word on their lower back. But this is the look, and I've gotten I've gotten very used to the tattoos to where they don't they don't bother me at this point. It's it's way beyond tattoos with her. Watch the series and see how she carries herself.

It's just it's it's very difficult. And maybe this is just you're right, I'm sixty two, but very very difficult question for her. I understand, I get it, But I used to root for Florence griff of the Joiner. I found her pretty in an exaggerated way. But if you were to get a tattoo I have, I have six or eight. If you go into your head, had to get a tattoo, what do you think you get and where would it be? I'd get Yeah, picture Jake on my heart. That's yeah, I appreciate. I do the same thing with my

dog. That's great, that's awesome. And if you know, if if Albert were to spend some quality time with me, I might I might get a little something for for Albert. Actually, you know, I believe it or not. Have another another animal story, go ahead. It's not the parent story. We've started off three. No, I'm not telling the parents.

No, no, I'm like ripped from the headlines. Animal story got so so I'm not sure what the royals are feeding the horses over in the UK, but really, uh, but it may be the same stuff that the bidens were feeding Commander for the last couple of years. Because this tourists, this is this picture is hysterical. Yeah, I know what you're saying. Yeah, oh yeah, so I guess she's I don't know where she's so, she's a tourist. She's visiting palace or nearby. It's not Buckingham

Palace. It's well, maybe it isn't it just the picture isn't isn't wide enough for me to tell. But anyway, she's outside of some kind of loyal The guard on the horses, in all of this crazy garb, it looks like a medieval knife. Right. He's the he's on the horse. And there's a sign in the picture right literally right above the woman. It says, in capital letters underline beware horses may kick or bite. And the

picture is the freaking horses biting the living shit out of her arms. The horse hasbow and her bicep has got the complete he just he just bends down and just bites the living crap out of it. Hey, man, I'm afraid of horses. I think they're gorgeous, but I'm afraid of them. I totally understand that you cannot trust the horse. They're so big and shrum they're almost two times man. Back up, down. They're not something you

can cuddle with unless you're really good with horses. And I'm not part is you know this this woman, I mean, she screams out in pain, you know, falls to the ground. She's writhing in pain as the police come and you know right there above he's a sign above her. So she's sitting there thinking, ah, I got the royals on their freaking horse attacked me. I'm you know, I'm gonna be swimming in it, and the cops like above your head there, yeah, yeah. Any any hopes of

riches from a royal lawsuit or gone. It's not a bad idea to look for those riches. It's not a bad idea. I mean, I know people go to great lens to get a lawsuit. There are many people who look for big old cracks in New York City sidewalks or where the roots of a tree grow and bust open this there are people who fall. I got a friend who looks for the slippers when let little columns in a supermarket,

and he promptly falls it. Tries to act like he was injured with a slip disc and he's been successful once he got thirty grand from one of those supermarkets on the island. Dude, I'm like a year ago, I'm driving here in New Orleans on some back roads because I didn't want to go on the on the main road, and I'm at a stop sign and I'm crossing the street and I'm crossing really slowly. I see a guy in a bike,

but he's on my side of the of the street. So I'm getting past him wayne advance of you know when he would come through, But I go so slow. He comes and switches all the way to the other side of the road and then does a perfect crash his bike into my tired die over the hood of my car over and fall on the ground and start screaming in freaking pain. Holy shit. Really yeah. So I get a car and I look at him. I'm like, are you okay? He goes no, No, you know my elbow. My I'm like, dude,

come on my elbow. So I gotta I gotta go through the whole I got to go through the whole freaking thing, right. Police have to come report all the stuff. My insurance company. I mean, I told them, you know, photos, everything, describe the entire thing to him to the letter. I know you did. Said. Look, this is complete and total bullshit. Do not pay this guy. They paid the guy fifteen thousand dollars, holy shit, for a little on his bike. That's nice

him fifteenth I don't know what because they don't have to. They don't have to share with me why they settled. You're a very you know, you're a man, a good man. You've got insurance, you did everything right. Why would they give it to him? Because they're because they're saying, it's your fault. You crossed the road, didn't give him time to get out of the way, and he suffered, you know, uh, whatever, he's going to live for. I think I had like a scratch on

his elbow. Yeah, of course. So like three weeks maybe after this happens. Oh you told me this. I love this story. Yeah, three weeks after this happens. I'm in the park over here, Attomon Park, and this guy supposedly mangled required fifteen thousand dollars to his bills and everything else. And I see this m effort jogging around automun Park. That's not enough. He's wearing one of those weighted vests. I'll like Oonda was a

partner in some of him or something. So so he was so injured that he's you know, he's running around the Uh, he's doing ten miles in the Freedom park. What they weighted vest on. So you take a picture and send it to the insurance. I did. I did take a picture and I didn't to him, and it didn't. It didn't nothing. It's like our government. Nothing happens, Nobody gets put in jail, nobody gets fired. It's all, hey, you don't worry about it. It's ridiculous

crazy. Did you see when I was younger? People, you have to atone for the bullshit you did. I don't know what's going on. I don't want to jump the gun on the next story, but I just don't understand why everybody that does things wrong in front of us gets off. They just get off. They have the meeting, the committee talks to them, Congress and they're gone, no problem, it's all good. What lessons are we teaching people? Actions have consequences. I'm sure we'll get to that later.

But I can't take how people need insurance. I don't know how they decide what's worth their time to fully investigate and fight versus. But the second they tried to jam me with a big rate increase, I just boogied for I think I was I can't keep an insurance company. I did change. I think it was progressive, and I moved to Geico after that happened. I'm much happier with Geico. Everybody says Geico. I tried to do Geico when I had myne when I got my car. They it's a weird thing.

Well, first of all, it's a whole story. You have to be California needs fifteen days. Getting insurance in California for a car is weird. I finally did with Triple A, but I couldn't get through the Progressive or Geico. And it's all done on the internet now, and either way, I'm all hooked up. I got insured, but I wish i'd never have to do it again. I hate trying to get insurance for a car

or anything else you own. It's such a pen as. All of these things now, they're all because everybody thinks they have sophisticated AI and these phone systems and the online. Nobody's there. Aren't real people know anything. That's why we had to have our AI beauty pageant last week. Okay, so did you see uh? Did you see Rosie O'Donnell freaking out? I always watch her. It's smart, guilty pleasure with a little irish mouth. I can't take it. Oh, we're not going to have a country with the

patriots. It's done. I'm gonna Thanksgiving, democracies over? What is over? Now? What happened? What is? What planet are these freaking people on? And then she grew up fifteen minutes from us on Long Island. She's a callback girl. We played Comack South in soccer. What happened to her? I mean just I've known her for years. She's an absolute bitch from the word go. But I just look, I really want I always want to see someone's story, the alternative story, the alternative theory. I

like hashing things out, debating. You can't debate with these people. They just think that Trump is the guiltiest, baddest, meanest, worst man ever lived, and they just think Biden and the Democrats are wonderful. Where do you even begin to have a conversation with these people? Look, I don't for the most part, But if I do, I try and separate them and not make it about because I'm not a defener of Trump, but I

certainly look. Look. I think I think if you look at the look at what's around these people, you'll learn more than trying to deduce things from What kind of family do they have? What can you learn from those around? How do they bring up their kids? Uh? What who do they associate with, who are there, who are their friends, all of those kinds of of things. And it doesn't take a lot of deep analysis to look at the Biden family and figure out something's very wrong there. Oh,

of course there is something very there. And so say what you want about Trump, and there's a lot you can, of course, but you can't. I mean, how we're going to get I think we have a three hour show, but we're going to get to a little bit of what's going on right now? Well, I think end up back to this, So let's uh, let's go okay, because I did, I did sort of

have this flashback this week that I wanted to. I know you're a Yankee fan, but I had I'm a Met fan and and but you're Giants too, and I'm johns Gimes next next Giants, Yankees on different New York. The only difference is only difference is baseball. But because I'm I'm Nick, Well, the Islanders are Rangers, or you don't care more more Rangers than

Islanders. But I don't work against the New York teams ever. You know, I root for the Jets and the Mets, but no one's better than my Yankees, although this year they're looking fucking, you know, off kilter again, but we'll see. Well anyway, Lawrence Taylor the linebacker for the for the Giants for many years. A lot of people think he's the best defensive player that ever that ever played in the NFL, or at least the best linebacker that ever played. But nothing but trouble has followed l t in

his years after after he retired. And he was back in getting arrested down in Florida this week. And I don't know why, but I I flashed back on reading that story to what was the greatest year of my life? Nineteen eighty six? I mean, and oh man, that was just app from heaven. I still love the pictures of all of us around the TV

and Dack and Roseleie South going berserk. I mean, you know, I'm a Yankee fanatic, but when I tell you that I had tickets to Game seven for the Rangers and let Chico go instead of me, You're gonna die. But I did. But the Giants we had so many great things going on, always against the Patriots, always beating them. It was a beautiful time. Well, the Giants year was was its own kind of magical and I got to go. I got to go to the Super Bowl at the

Rose Bowl. I actually had a client give me tickets and I'd never been to California before and flew out. You want to know, you'll die. I've never told you this. I'm walking through. I'm walking through the parking lot at the Rose Bowl, the Super Bowl in January of nineteen eighty seven New York Giants against Denver Broncos. And who do I see to my right walking through the same parking lot? Crazy Don And you know, oh my god, the teacher we've put fish down his pants and marine biology he went.

He was are the odds of me in the same because I mean, you got that's that's a huge stadium, that thing, I don't know what it's seventy thousand. But listen, how weird is this that even though it seems like a long time ago, that was only six years after we graduated high school. That's nothing. God, well, if any longer, I

probably wouldn't have recognized him any pain, I wouldn't recognize me. But but the thing that was so amazing from that year was I had so I got to go to the to the Super Bowl, and see my giants win. And that was the first Super Bowl that they've They've won four in my lifetime, but that was the first. Was Phil Simms ninety when Simms got got injured. But I also got to go to every home playoff game for the

Mets in eighty six. And I know you have a lot of women that listened to the show, but yes, yes, but if you any kind of a sports fan, as a woman or a guy, there's nothing more amazing in sports than what happens in the tenth inning of Game six of the nineteen eighty six World Series. The Mets have Calvin Schiraldi is pitching for the for the Red Sox. He was a Met. We traded him and hated him, and the fans we knew he was off that night. We knew

what we saw it because we knew him well. He wasn't all screaming cow then, because the fans in Boston were doing the same thing to Darryl Strawberry throughout right. So two outs, bottom of the tenth, nobody's on base. I look up and google this if you don't believe me, The scoreboard says congratulations, Boston Red Sox nineteen eighty six. They did that. They did that on the freaking scoreboard as her scary Carter was up at bat.

It only stayed up for maybe thirty seconds or horrible, horrible Carter single left right, yeah, the left, and then then no, the the back in the back. In the days of when pitchers hit and managers actually had to have strategy, the Mets had done this. It turned out to be stupid double switch and to Darryl Strawberry out of the game, and so Kevin Mitchell was basically a pinch hitter for Strawberry. Spot he gets, he gets

a single the center. Now we got first and second, then we got ray Knight comes up and uh and gets the gets the single that scores Carter and moves Mitchell the third and Calvin everywhere right. They they've had enough of Calvin. They come and they yank him. They bring them Bob Stanley into the game and Mookies Moki Wilson, that's forever. It is such a great player night centerfield or coach first base for years for them, always a smile

on his face. Great great guy. And Mooki has one of these unbelievable at bats. He faces ten pitches in the at bats, it's I think it's two to two, and Stanley throws a ball in the dirt, crosses up the catcher and Mitchell's able to score from third, and Night goes to second. The game is tied. I thought the stadium was going to fall apart. I mean things where you could feel it going up and down like a foot, and you're like holding on hoping the whole place doesn't just fall

apart. And then this is an iconic playing in baseball history. It's it's very sad on one head. But on the third or fourth three and two pitch to Mookie Wilson, he hits a ground ball down the first base line, and I believe he's a Hall of Famer. Yeah, Duckers guy named of Bill Buckner, who is a great player for his entire career in Chicago Cubs and the Dodgers as well as the Red Sox comes charging the balls.

Somehow slow rounder, somehow year old kid to get it and he goes under his glove into low into the shallow outfield, and the Met's score and it's banana. It's it's unbelievable. He got the series that they beat Houston in the Conference Finals to get yes with that that long game that was insane, eighteen inning games, eighteen in a game. I left work, came home, turned the TV on. They were still playing. I couldn't live that was Lenny dis for Wally Back and those of animals. It was a great

time. You know, it really turned me on. That's why I make sure Roco he's a basketball for that. But Levon is an important game on. I haven't watched it because I didn't like baseball. I wasn't a baseball guy. I never played Little league. But I started to like the Yankees. And when Chris Chandlers hit that home runneen seventy six against the NY City and and and it goes and it's a home run, the Yankees win the Pennant. And you know, back in the day, everybody rushed the field

barely around the bases. He like around the bases. And I just fell in love with baseball in those moments. And then the Yankees had a consistently good team for many years after that, with many many I mean I'm spoiled with all the World Series memories we had with the core for Jeter Pisada, you know, it just was patted. It was we had a ball. So if they never went again, I can say I had my phill.

But there's something about those big plays you just never forget. And now I'm thinking of Lebron James carrying the torch, and I'm even getting more mad because he well except if you look at my heroes from those teams, right, they have to be drug addicts. And I was working. I was working

at New York Newsday a long Island. I was writing, and I had a source while my friend was a coke dealer, but I had sources in the And I'm watching dw I'm watching Dwight goodin Pitch the Mets superstar Youngster Cy young Winner, and he's sweating his balls off, and it's late in the season. And I said out loud, it doesn't look right when as he sweating so much. No one answered me. I'm around all these full time writers. I was a part timer. My friend, a source of mind,

tells me Goodn's hooked on coke. And back in the eighties a lot of people did a coke. It wasn't as alarming, but you know, really, wow, Well he's an athlete. Well he never made the parade after they won the series. He was just got a hooker and got some blow and stayed in his room and didn't do anything after they won the World Series. And I was the guy who said check them for coke. They thought I was crazy. What do you know? Part timer? And there

we go. What a team he could have been, would have been one of the best pitchers in Major league history. He was that talented his early years. His wreck. I mean, he was like I'm trying to think of I think he was twenty four and four. I was in with like

a one point five eighty or something. Just crazy. Same but all those guys that that Mets team was so stacked between him and Strawberry and Keith her hand Car, Lenny Dykstra, and you know, think about you got three guys on that team that ended up going to prison at one point or maybe he was four. Yeah, I think Mitchell Mitchell got in trouble too.

I think he ended up doing some kind of time eventually, Mitchell, because Mitchell ended up going to the Giants and having a great career San Francisco Giants he did. And you know what, the Yankees scooped up Good and Strawberry and Ones we're all serious with them, and Dwight Good and Picks and all hit it for us. I know, so I know love that. I love those guys. You're speaking about Lawrence Taylor and I hung out with LT several times. When I first thought of my gospel career, I was dating

downtown Julie Brown, and I've said this on my show. You know, she was a very she was always on TV, on MTV. Everybody knewho she was whore, outrageous clothes, sexy with the British accent. And you know, I got in in her inner circle and I'm dating her and suddenly I'm in her house one night, her apartment, and she plays her messages

and goes to the bathroom. Mike Anthony Mason for the Knicks left her a message all these athletes, these big black athletes, And finally LT leaves the message, but only in LT style, like talking so nasty to her, small bitch, What the fuck we do we're going out, bitch Like I couldn't believe what I was hearing. And that's what Julie Brown was up to. I don't forget. She was also doing the NFL stuff on Sunday. She was on that crew, so she was at the games. They all

knew her. It was not it was not exactly the way it is now with me too, those guys. I mean, she told me. Even Jillian Barbery, who worked the NFL on Sundays, told me that everybody loves Terry Bradshaw. She would send her Dick pics constantly, and Julian didn't want to truck any way. Yeh yeah, Brad shruw every almost. I'm not gonna say everything. A lot of men on that set where they did the

seventies, they weren't current. Were they big push? Yeah? Uh, they probably kept it found down from the seventies when they're in their prime. But yeah, could you amain? I mean, I guess they saved it Dick pick you can. Back then Dick picts were just brand new, but they sent them to her. But yeah, lt I went to see I knew sal Marsiano, the old uh uh great friends and saladies need in my house. And he took me and my buddy Johnny Boyd to the Jets Giants

preseason game. It's always a big thing in New York. Jets and Giants are playing. Ever on the sidelines halftime comes We go up at a booth and Joe Namath is calling the game with I forget who else, and name of it is so cool. He just got done smoking half a joint. I'm not lying, doing a couple of bumps, Joe, half a joint, I mean half a joint, couple of bumps? Is that the game he tried to make out with Susie Colver. No, No, this is

a years before then. He has a banana and he says, you know, I eat the banana because nobody can smell the pot on my breath. He thought it was most insane invention, great idea, Joe. I couldn't live a sitting with Joe Namath. Jack used to take me to Shase Stadium to watch him play against the Raiders. We used to sit on hot thermous it was so cold in New York City back then. And there's LT. We go back down to the sidelines. Said this is when my back was

really bad. I just come back for surgeon carrying purpose that's like chapstick. And LT is there and I pop a purposet and he looks and goes, what you got there, boy? I said, Oh, I got a bead back. I thought bad everything man I had to give. He took a purposet for me in the middle of the game, went out there and played again. I mean, we were out of our minds that that happened. You have to be there. It was just too ridiculous. And then

you know, he was the most ferocious player we've ever seen. Oh and here's here's my one LT story. So I go up to Rockland County one day to play this really nice public of coourse up there, and I'm going with two other guys. So there's three of us and we get up there and we're hitting on the range and all of a sudden, I look over and who's on the range hitting balls? But LT HM and LT can smack it. I mean, I'm sure he's still came and he could smack the

ship out of the golf ball. I mean he's consistently hitting drives three hundred yards. Wow. And so I you know, I walk over to LT and you know, he shakes my hand, introduced myself. I said, LT, you out here alone and he said yeah. I said, you want to be our fourth that awes you need the guy there's three of us, and he goes, sure, I'm in. So so wait a minute. So now our tea time is in like fifteen minutes. I'm like, all right, I hit a few more balls LT, and we'll meet you

over by the start, right. So I get with my two buddies. We go over to the starter and and so I go up there and I go to the guy, Hey, it's you know, you know, it's three of us, and we hooked up with a fourth and the and the starter goes, no, no, no, no, I assigned the fourth and any and he points at this guy. And the guy comes walking up and he goes, hey, I'm already something or other who owns a pizza

place in Queen's right. And I go, I look at him. I go, I go, Artie, I go, nice to meet you, dude, but but seriously, I need you to understand something that I just met LT. I'm a huge Giants fan. I got an opportunity to play golf with l T today. Can you wait and hook in with the next group and let us play with LT. Well, it's my turn. Many Are you a sportsman, Artie? That's LT. That's Lawrence fucking Taylor, dude. I need you to just wait. There'll be another group in a

couple of minutes. Let let me play with it. I specifically signed up for this time. I'm god this mother effort will LT finally goes, hey, guys, sorry, you know we don't need to cause trouble. I'll pick up a game somewhere else goes walking away, and I'm so freaking pissed off. Are we get to the like the second I haven't said a word to this freaking guys pretended he doesn't exist? Right, We get to like the third tea box and he he comes up to me, puts his arm

round me and goes, so, Mike, what do you do? No, don't already? I go? I go already. Currently I play golf with some asshole preventing me from playing golf with my all time favorite football player who was ready to play with me. You have a the other question, are you gonna hold of grudge about that? Or we're not going to have a good Yeah? Fuck you? Fuck you? Are you okay for life? So aredy and queens? If you're stolen that pizza place and you're listening,

double f you. I would have got around at golf with LT. That's awesome. Uh, well, well I know, but the fact that you were so close. I mean he had that the earring always hanging down. He was such a character LT. But this last arrest, I think it's because he didn't. He didn't file again to say he was a sex offender, and he didn't give the right address or something. It's not like he didn't grab a new girl, did he. He he It was a change of address. First of all, I don't really understand. I don't

remember everything. So he didn't get charged with rape. He must have got charged with like, not as assault, but some kind of He said she was They said she was sixteen, She said that she was nineteen. That was the first problem. But then you know, he didn't. It has to register as a sex offender, and he didn't the last time. The date was the addressers. It's a big it's another book keeping mistake. I'm sure LT still likes young girls, and I'm sure he goes against hookers now

and then, more than we want to think. But I don't think he's out there scouting for underaged girls. I think he just got presented with one and didn't double check the age, you know, which is bad. It's not good. No, that's that's ribelievable. It's also believable that you know, you might screw up on you know, having what I don't know what the grace period is on the change the dress and when you have to tell

them and everything else, but yeah, I know. And his lawyer sounds like he he thinks this is bullshit and and he's going to fight it and everything else. But it just seeing his name again in the news getting arrested. It's just because I first of all, that was the greatest year ever. But at the same time, it also reminds me of how great for that should have been. The met should been a dynasty. They really had.

They had it all the pitching, oh, the pitching to should have been a dynasty, and they left it all up because they're all out all night every night, getting cocaine everywhere. Fernandez Mitchell, Yeah, they were. You know, that's you know, that's why you know, managers can really mean a lot. If you have the wrong manager and that kind of ship's going on, you got to get the the guys of the team that are bad influencers at That's why Kevin Mitchell was shipped out. Apparently he had

some an influence on the younger players that they didn't like. But a young manager could spot that and and and make it a decent clubhouse. But they met certainly had all the pieces. They should have won. They should have been four years contending with that team. Well they weren't eighty eight. They they lost to the They lost to the Dodgers in the the championship series, and they had the they had a better team than they did. They they

should have gone back and won. And so they should have got two World Series out of that team. But let me tell you that nothing. You were a baseball you were. You were great as a baseball player in high school. You did great in college. You'll appreciate this story. Uh, the old met Jerry Kousman not kus, but he was a pictuer. Was he number seven? Right? Okay? Ed Creanepole is a big met. And I take my sister, Jack, Rosie, the whole family to Raos

in New York City. Big fucking deal. You know, it's my maybe my third time there. I got the family there. The bill is always eight hundred bucks cash, no card, no menu. It's a scene. There's Madonna. This shit, okay, Junior, that kind of shit. Jack is sitting there, doesn't care about celebrities, and he goes, oh my god, that said Creampool. So all of us go it is, but don't say anything. This is raye As. You don't go up and

like, you know, get out on a grand No. But it's said, we know it's at cream Pool. He goes, I played against at Creakpool in college. I mean I was Queen College. He was so and so, and he hit a home run over my head. I go, all right, but let's let's just leave it alone. So Ed Creanpool walks by and Jack had to go, Hey, Ed Cranepool, Yeah, big fan, Jack Fannis. He said, we played and I was Queen's College and I was in left field and Ed Cranepool finished the sevent He goes,

and I put one four hundred and ten feet over your head. I remember like it was yesterday. I love when athletes remember the exact story that someone's gonna tell. And he didn't take. They never met, they never rehearsed it. It was just two guys talking about a baseball memory that'll never leave their minds. It was so it was wonder. That's great, but also tells you how miserably how horrible the Mets were for so freaking long up until

that time, you know, the mid seventies. Anyway, Ed Cranepool was like the all time men home run leader. I remember remember in West Babylon there's a shopping center. They had a TSS Times Square Stores, Times Square Stores. Okay, my father called it tough shit Sally, Yes, yes, on the right side. Grain Pool was making an appearance there signing autographs.

And my father took me that was such a met Frank as a kid, I'm in like third grade or whatever, and he takes me to get it, you know, and I bring a baseball it tops a couple of tops cards to get a creampole to sign it. And I think back and go, that guy sucked. He sucked. I think his career might be two hundred eighty home runs, so it can't be a lot. No, no, three hundred. No, No, he didn't hit too. He didn't hit two hundred home ones. Look at his career stats. His carew

stats are give mediocre a new meaning and ramp. But the Mets sucked so bad for so many. The Mets were born the same year you and I were born. So the team started in nineteen sixty two and uh, and so until the miracle of nineteen sixty nine, when they somehow won a World Series with a very mediocre team but great pitchers. Again. Uh, and Cranpool was on that team. The As a kid, you thought this guy, you thought these guys were great. You thought crane Pool was great.

I mean, I thought enough to force my dad to take me to freaking TSS to get baseball cards signed. But I know you're looking at Cranepool's career. Let me get let me get Okay, Now, listening is home runs. The listening is rb I what do you mean the list I'm looking at this. It's at that's runs hits RBI based on balls. Give me fucking home run stats. What what banged up website do you want? It's Google. I'm gonna say home runs for Red Cranepool. Okay, well, I'm

gonna guess. I'm not gonna tell you. I'm not gonna tell you. I'm gonna look up what he has. Okay, cran Pool again, just give me the total Jesus ed sorry, guys, frame pull total home run filler music. I need filler music. Believable. Okay, oh my god, Okay, Okay, So here's my guess. I'm gonna guess batting average and career career batting average, career home runs. Okay, I don't know that. In average, I'll get to but home runs Okay, I'm gonna

say one hundred and eighty. You're high, you're a little, you're higher. It's lower than that, it's low. Look put it this way. In two years Aaron Judge would beat his home run call career how many career home runs? Yeah, in eighteen and the six greatest was the greatest medal of all time? And oh yeah, the greatest him an Art Shamsky Cleon Jones, Tommy, it's Tommy who collidefield? Was? Was it a crane pool? And that's a good game? Okay, So oh you don't have

cream pools? Average one eighteen? Are you kidding me? I'm gonna get crane pools. The average this is going with? Two? Forty seven is the average? I'm going that's good? Umm, okay average. Let's see what we got here. Okay, what'd you say to forty seven to sixty one? He wasn't that? Oh wow, wow, there's sixty one. Wow. I bet he has less. I bet he has twenty I bet he has less than twenty steals. I got newfound respect for Crane Cool.

I bet one hundred and eighteen home runs a major disappointment, but to sixty one. Okay, now that we've lost every female listen I ever had on this show. Yeah you want to talk about let's let's go. We gotta We'll cap it at twenty minutes of this all right insanity? Yeah, go where do you want to go? Where do you want to go? Well, look, let's start with Cheatle, Kimberly Cheatle. This the Secret Service

director. I watched her this morning getting based and I've never seen an oversight committee tell somebody you're full of shit, You're a disgrace, you should resign. You know nothing. I mean, they killed this woman because all she did is just say I have to get back to you. I have to look up that stat I have to find that she gave them nothing. And I'm sick of people giving these committees nothing and then nothing happens to them.

This woman was afraid of a slope on a roof. Meanwhile, a handicap ramp to to get somebody handicapped up into a building is a more severe slope than the roof. This was the more I hear about everything. I completely agree this was planned. This new information about the possible second shooter. I don't think that kid got off eight shots himself. I just don't believe it. The bullets sound different when they crackle in the atmosphere. I've heard that

tape. I don't know, but I think they led Trump to slaughter and the same kind of deep state people also did the same thing by letting Biden go on that debate, not preparing him enough, knowing he'd shit the bed, and then they could start this whole you know, uh, Banana republic move about. He's out, she's in. We're gonna go have her thing, and August we're gonna this is This is Banana republic ship. This is not democracy. If you can't work, why is he still the president?

It doesn't make sense. But war can happen, shit can happen to us any day now, and we have nobody there. Give me a goddamn break. This is not America. It's awful. Wow, dude, you are heavy heavy on the conspiracy. I'm just I'm looking into it. I mean, they come couple couple thoughts. First of all, Yeah, and I think that hopefully twenty years from now people will understand this and it won't be an arguable point and we will have gotten way past it as a country.

But DEEI a slash affirmative at whatever you want it. It destroys the quality, the spree decor the idea of merit inside of organizations, and mediocrity is the only outcome. And not only is it mediocrity, it's a slowly degrading, steadily degrading mediocrity over time. And think about all the signs of this

that are around us. Do you ever remember I can remember a couple of the the I think it was t W a flight over lockerby Scotland, specific instances of major airline tragedies, but not doors coming off and the windows cracking, tires coming off. And this infiltration of people hiring for quota and and equality of outcome instead of equality of opportunity destroys quality because the ACE students no longer have any motivation to continue to be a students because they don't receive any

benefits for being the A student, and so everybody stops trying. John Ziggler tells a tells a story about a new principle hired at their kids' school. That was a that was a DEI hired during during COVID And for a year and a half he was employed the principal of school and never showed up to the school and just and no one would no one would say anything, no, no one. I don't know what a principal at a school in la

But it's that's the kind of the kind of thing that goes on. And you know, the country was built as a meritocracy, and all of these organizations, these companies, these teams, that every system we've got a reinstitution was built on merit and and it doesn't take that long to tear it down. So look at look at what's the the unbelievable perfect storm of mistakes of

just huge, huge mistakes that are made here. I don't blame people for coming up with all the conspiracy theories here, because it's really hard to believe people could fuck up in such an enormous way, in every possible way, from every angle. This thing was fed up. But there's too much.

But I still I still don't believe. I still don't believe that what you don't believe, I still don't believe it's that it's a conspiracy that was It was like, I mean, look, that's fair, But I haven't had somebody get me the opposing argument to make me realize I'm out of my mind for thinking something went on. It certainly looks that way. Trump's asking for

more more secret service for months. They didn't give it to him. They wouldn't give it to Kennedy even though his father and uncle got killed that way. I don't like the fact that when I was a kid things went wrong. You know, we had situations in life that people left up, But I don't remember it being this crazy. And we went through Watergate, you know, and Clinton and then Monicaolo execut shit. I don't I can't remember it being this insane, where every single day is something out of Washington,

like tonight is Biden dead? We haven't seen him in five days? Where is he? Was that his signature? Why wasn't their White House stationary when he wrote that goodbye note? How do you not talk to the American people next to a fireplace and tell them I love you all? I just you know, doctor said I'm not ready to just give us something. He left us in alone. They are professional liars. It's what they do for a living. Is they lie about everything every day, all day long. They

lie about everything. And I don't mean democrats exclusively, I mean politicians period. But Rosie o'donald says, there's no much we're gonna lose democracy. Tell me what's democracy right now? Today? They think Trump's gonna statue it away from them. What are we doing right now? She's an idiot. We live through four years. We lived through four years of Trump. We know good Trump, we know bad Trump. You know, and bad Trump is

is stupid tweets pretty much stupid tweets. If there was no Twitter, there'd be a big difference of opinion about him. Yeah, I mean, look if he looked upon differently, if he didn't tweet at two o'clock in the morning when everybody's sleeping, it makes you think the guy's nuts. I understand that, but I hate to say it. Most things he said are pro claimed or had a feeling about, all came true every almost everything. And

how these people not see that and complain about Sharon Thune. I'm leaving to live in England. You're full of ship. You are not gonna leave these people if you if you know anything, and you look at the playing field. He's a moderate. He's a he's not a conservative. This is the Republican Party is no longer the Republican Party. It's the Trump Party. And the Trump Party is not a conservative party at all. No, if you if you conservative, what's that you don't think? You don't think something's a

conservative. I think he's conservative about many things. I mean, I know it's a different but he's a moderate. He's a he's a lifelong Democrat. Is his policy. And by the way, that's the right strategy. I think a four years ago Joe Biden got elected, we'll use the quotes around that, because we thought he was going to govern as a moderate. That's

what he told us that. And then he got at the office and AOC and the rest of the loons yanked Todd to Bernie sand I mean, he was brought in because Bernie Sanders was gonna win otherwise, and you know, he was the only way to rescue the the he was gonna win the nomination, saying he was gonna win the election. Uh, he was brought in

to save them from that. And then he got in and whether from day one, Uh, the puppeteers were controlling everything and and he was just an empty vessel from day one, or there were periods of time in which he was actually making decisions. I don't think there was a very long period where he was making any decisions. I think he was pretty much puppeteered from early on, and they took the entire party so far left of center, and

it's crazy. I think it's it's real, and it's it's also the what the country needs for the quote unquote Republican candidate to be a moderate, because you know, the the most conservative positions are not electable positions right now in the country. There's not there's not the the environment for uh those sort of positions, nor is there an environment for the far left. And I would argue there's even greater resistance to the far left positions. And so I think

he's god. I think he's taken the right position. I think he got I think if he knew today, if he knew then what he knows today, he wouldn't have chosen Advance. If if he knew where we were going to be today, he would not have chosen Vance. Even though I think, you know, brilliant guy, you know great qualifications. I know he called Trump a bunch of a's, but you know who doesn't call Trump a bunch of ames? And eventually you go, hey, the guy's winning.

You know the guys will winner. Let let me hitch my truck to his to his truck and go with him. So I don't I don't mind. I don't mind JD. Vans at all. Uh, the youth, I don't, I don't mind. I don't mind him. But this is this is an electoral politics game, right, So it's about winning elections, right, and a first term senator from a red state isn't isn't going to So

Trump chose the guy he wanted because he felt his position was unassailable. I mean, he felt like, I'm gonna win the election, and probably like this guy. Lot On Junior loves this guy. He's up and coming, he's brilliant, he can he can actually take real workload off of me, actually be an asset, all those things. So I think I'm not saying it wasn't a merit higher. I think it's it's actually I'm going to contradict myself. It's a merit higher at a time where maybe strategy called for you

to not make a merit. Job one. Job one is win the election, and the Democrats are prepared to do anything. I mean, look, this is so so we know what the plan is for today. But if six weeks from now, Kamala's sitting in the polls where Joe was or worse, I mean, you tell me it. I have I have. I have zero faith that she's the candidate no matter what, because I think she's

a horrible candidate. Think she's a horrible candidate. And I don't think it's going I don't think it's going to take long before she's doing as bad or worse than Joe ever was, regardless of how much bs the media tries to dish out right now in you know, rebranding her for the four hundredth time and trying to make any of the ship that she's said or done where. I mean, people aren't that dumb? I mean, has been to watch those tapes of her talking ship. It's amazing she does it to so many

different states and people listening. How does she keep saying, unburdened by what has been take her at her, take her out her work, take at her word for that. Okay, so nothing nothing, nothing, that this country has stood for nothing, that this country has been nothing, that this country is matters because I'm not burdened by any of it. I'll burn it all and I'll do whatever the f I want. Right, that's what she's saying, I know. I mean the fact that she says it and maybe

doesn't even understand what she's saying is another thing. But if you take her out a word at what she's saying, she's saying that that there's no precedent matters at all. I'll do whatever because I'm not burdened by any of it. And you know, I got I got, I got some patrons who are everybody got nervous. You know, there's a big emotional shift when Trump got shot and then Biden gets away from them, like people are scrambling. I get so many people telling me, oh, this is bad news for

us, this is bad. You know, Tom's gonna get the female vaute and the black velt. I'm like, slow down, you think black people are stupid. No one looks at her and thinks she got anything done. They're not going to run to her. Trump did more for black people, and they'll do more for black people in the next four years. Kamala Harris put two thousand men away for weed men and women when she could have done much less than that. But she wanted to be tough, a tough da.

She's a hypocrite, bullshit artist, not a talented politician at all. Doesn't even get the fact that you're in politics. You know, she doesn't understand the power she has. She's just a dope. Her as a vice president are now like a bridge to the presidency. That would be like you taking me to Wall Street and go, go ahead, go work on the floor. I would have no idea what to do. And I think that's Kamala Harris inside the White House if she ever becomes president or right now,

God knows what kind of questions are asked of her. Who's running the ship? I don't know. As Americans can't we know who's running the ship, who's making decisions. It ain't Biden, is it Obama? Is it Jill? No? I mean I saw an ice cream truck here. They left Jill to go to an ice cream truck the other day he heard the bells. He left her at the podium. I can't take it. The poor guy, poor bastard. Well, it's not you can't you know, you

can't feel there for him. You can't put good humor in front of the good humor truck comes in the street and forget that. You put bungalow bar next to Joe Biden. You're gonna clean all mister soft here, that mister Softy going all that music. Yeah, good humor, mister softy. Bungalow bar and good humor. And that was the last one. Was one more bunglo bar, good humor, mister softy. And I think it was a tasty freeze that's not too big. I think that was a drug dealer though.

It was just running on that drugs out the window. Sure. Yeah, So I bought the dogs a Kamala Harris squeaky toy. Oh you did? They found they can bite the ship out of it and too. But if I'm if I'm not, if if I'm in charge of the Republican campaign, I would I would siphon off tens of millions and I would buy little Kamala cackling dollars. If you pull the string and you just get that cackle and just start just start handing them out everywhere, you know, just huge

hit, to be a huge hit. I look at the doll right now, female political parody, durable dovelty dog, chewed toy Kamala Harris eighteen bucks. This is fantastical. That's a deal. They look that they lowered the price of my pig. What side of you you Amazon? Amazon dot com Amazon? Yeah, they got one for eight team on for twelve. Oh a big ugly face for thirty twenty three dollars. This is fun. Am

I look at and they got a Biden showed toy too fun. Tootsy would like, you need some kind of gift and you get back to something. I got a beg of treats to the chewed toy, but she's eating very healthy now, so I'm not sure getting the Kamala chet No, I should get the Kamala tutah, but I can't give her like I mean, look, when I was running around with her living like a fucking uh what ever you want to call me, uh guy with a rolling stone, she was

eating beef jerky. Sometimes I give her the rest of my eggs from Denny's. Now she's got the best diet you know, and charlvy sardines, blueberries. She is seeds cottage chiefs like she's like a health nunt now and she loves it so she'll live longer, which is good. But yeah, I'm gonna get this doll for this is cute. I'd love to see her. Okay, I had one note I wanted to bring up. It a convention to you. Okay, So to me, Kid Rock and uh Dana's ufc

da what they're the same person, the same person? Really are? Pick one up? Pick one of them? Why do we have why do we have three? Don't need I mean, keep Kid Rock and and Home. Just go with uh don't they don't need Kid and Hulk. You just go with Data White. It was a great introductor. I was. I thought Holkster's deal was was was funny? Kid Rock it was. That's just a bunch of fucking noise. I don't know what was stupid. I didn't know anything that was done. It was done, was good. One of them,

just one of the three. Get rid of Kid and have I'm with you. Bring me. There are some that I that I know to be huge Trump supporters that are big, you know, Get Coveasel to show up, Get Gary Soon to show up. Get you know somebody who's I mean, are they willing to show up though. I mean Covisel is out out and out Republican. We know that. But are they going to really show up or is it going to damage their Hollywood career more than it's damaged now?

Even if you just saying you support, they wear it. They wear it so proudly on their sleeve. They don't see where they wouldn't take living great, you know, I mean stallone, he's not going to show up. But yeah, there there are some that's a that's a great one. I didn't even think about that. But but it's also becoming A friend told me this the other day. It's also becoming less and less taboo to be because you have people like Musk. Yeah, look at what look at what

Mark Zuckerberg said, how about this this morning? Right? Yes, I mean two days you actually here with badass? He is Trump looking like a badass. There's no way, no matter what what would There's no way Zuckerberg would have said anything like that four years ago from Trump. So there's a there's a softening, especially post assassination attempt Trump out there. But they should have they should have drawn a wider circle with before. Yeah, I'm not

into the I agree, I like the speakers for the most part. And I tell you I like his lawyer, Alena Alena. I forget the last name, now, Haba. She's good. She's good. I like her, she's smart, she's pretty well. I think she's an attractive woman. I think she did a decent job in court. But I look at Don Jr. I don't know what makes him go and see Kimberly Guilfoil, Gavin Newsom's she was. She was a universal eleventh in the Trump Family ranker,

and decide, that's the hell I want to die on. Kimberly Guilfoil. Here was screaming at the convention. She didn't need to speak either. I know she's a big Trumper, but she did not need to scream into the crowd. For six minutes. There was something going. But I'm going my over under on that is another eight months on that relationship. Yeah, pretty around together for a while. She's gonna be She's gonna be a fatal attraction.

She's not gonna lose that her foothold of the Trump family. Oh my god, it's too it's too valuable for Herna It's gonna be bad if that happens. Eric married a good looking woman. I mean, I look at his family, and I tell you this a while ago, but whatever, I was really against Trump. I gave him so much shit. And I saw a documentary once after I yelled at him and how it's there and told

him I kill him. And I saw like a documentary on his kids speaking holly of their dad, and I said, I I just something changed in me. And I said, you've been making fun of this guy for so long about taking supermodels to hockey games instead of his sons, blah blah blah. And I apologized and wrote a letter, and ever since then, when I look at the way his family turned out, I'm impressed. Even though I'm not in love with Don Junior. He's a little bit of a bullshit

artist. But for all that said and done, this is a political family. They don't embarrass themselves. They're well spoken, they're good look and they put together nice. You put that is Biden's family, Jesus Christ, but a disaster. So I have a lot of respect for and you know, for people to make fun of the being a grandpa, the stupid woman on the view, he's doing that to get sympathy votes. Do you really think he's a good grandpa. Yeah, I do. What the fuck? Why

are we doing this? The kids love him. The girl's got a golf a golf game that the best schools in the country are after giving this, just get a scholarship. His granddaughter was a Kai Kai Yeah, I mean, yeah, these are the kids. She's number one, She's number one on my Trump Family rank. Yeah. Yeah, man, I mean, look, it's the last shot, the last the last shot up the hill for Trump. I want him to win. I said he'd win four years ago when no one said he'd run again. So I'm throwing all my money.

I pushed all my chips on Trump. Okay, so if he says he if he wins, yeah, So in twenty eight, you got advanced Don Junior ticket, right, I think they're going to tickle the ivory's on that. Yeah. I think Don Juing is going to stay in politics. Sure it's Don Don Junior is a twenty eight ticket, right, so you eight years so then so then thirty six, maybe Don Jor trying to think ric Er can come in there. They've got to bridge the gap to Baron

and Kai. They gotta ad So this the the Trump monarchy could go we could go. We could go a long time. We could go into like the twenty sixties and beyond, and Kai Kai Trump could be a president. What twenty what are we looking at? Gosh, won't let's say, let's say thirty years for now, we'll go twenty seven elections, right, twenty sixty four, twenty she's only forty five? No, no, no, if it's if it's seventeen right now, So it's seven elections. Is twenty

eight years? So okay, she's she's only forty five. There's nothing twenty fifty two. Wow, I'm I mean, what's that? How many years ago from that? I mean, I think I'll be dead. I'm pretty sorry. I'll be gone by that. Yeah, we'll be gone. I'll be gone, definitely. Know you'll hang around. No, I don't want to do night. I can't. Yeah, I don't want to go. I look like Biden going up a flight a stairs. Yeah. I don't want to leave my wife and follow an ice cream truck in the street.

That's a bad look. If it's mister softie, I'll do it. But yeah, so you so, so Kai's on the she's running and she may have to wait. You may have to wait till twenty sixty. Oh, that's right. Actually, she'll be another Robin will be in her fifties by then, and that'd be more reason. Look, I just want Hollywood or Washington to accept that Malania and Trump is beautiful enough to put on the cover of a friggin magazine. If we can get them to do that. My

god, some of the models, some of them. There have been some great freaking posts over the last few days, but the ones with her and Jill side by side are so freaking funny. I mean, so Clinton stand at her, and Hillary didn't like that years ago when Clinton kept looking at her in the stands. Yeah, she's a looker. I've ever heard of New York. She had a look. I mean, she has a look. Her eyes are very piercing. But back in New York of the old

day, she was even more of a Russian type. Her accent was much thicker. She's how old is she? I mean, look, I would say, if I'm sick, I would say she's fifty two, maybe fifty one. I was gonna say, maybe let me see younger than fifty five. Age, What do we got here? She's fifty four? Looks good, looks very good, so seventy eight. So he did a twenty four year cradle rob. There there you go, ll Marlon Maples was Marl Maples right now is probably what she's probably the same age. I would think,

maybe fifty seven. Let me see. I think she's a little older. Marla's probably fifty eight. Let me see. You know, it's funny after I wrote, I wrote to Trump of sixty, Marlin sixty. I said something on the show with how It thirted, and I said, yeah, you know, it's funny your ex wife moved to La. I said, I hope i'd run into it one night. He got so mad, and oh, yeah, you wish, Jay, you was so mad. Well,

lo and behold. I'm hanging out at my manager's house, big house up on the hill, and me and my buddy are writing a screenplay in his living room. And there's a knock on the door. I'll get it. I run to the door. I opened the door. It's fucking Marlon Maples. She's coming to La. And she was told my manager didn't tell us, but he was going to rent the house out, and she was looking at it to be a perspective renter. He didn't tell us at about

two months later, we're almost finished with the screenplate. Knock on the door, I'll get it. It's far and faucet. She's looking at renting. I couldn't believe it. And she still looked great. Farah, this is good. This is around Columbine. Was that two thousand and one right around there? Because Columbine happened while we were writing the screenplay. They both looked great. I never met Marla, never, you know, talked to her. I mean I said hello and goodbye. But she was quite something back

in the day. And for sure, I mean man Trump when he was younger, the hurdles he had to go. I told you that story about he was. He had Ivanna in the Palace, in the Applause Hotel. He also kept rooms for girlfriends. He owned the hotel. So Marla's in one of the Marla's in one of the floors. No one knows, but somebody found out the next day. Was in the gossip columns. I know the guy Anthony, who was the manager of the Palace hotel of the Palace,

and Trump called him and said, do me a favorite. Page six has a story about Marla and me. I need you to get every newspaper that comes to the to the plaza and cut out that page. Anthony tell me, I had to about about four hundred newspapers so that no one could read that page. That's the length. But you actually got that successful? Yeah, I can. I can't know. I'm surprised he remember it on his way because he was he was walking over to Burgdorf to do Egan Carroll

in a in a closet in a rip date with Eging Carroll. Unbelievable. How does this guy keep how does he keep walking after all this shit they've done to him. It's like, I don't know, Mike, I don't know what we're made of, but he's made us something different. He really is. That's a lot shoulders. That's why I look, I've I've I

was. I wouldn't use the never trumpet, but I was, I was never Trump adjacent, and in the last eighteen months he's I trust him enough to vote for him, and he's a much much better answer than the other options, and those options I truly believe will eve off because I don't. This is a team that will not accept anything but winning, and so they'll just keep changing the rules until they're figuring out a path that's winning. And I don't think that Kamala Harris is a path to winning. So I don't

know what the hell they could come up with. I wouldn't be doing too many rallies if I were her. Once they start to start on this is and this is really deep deep coaching. This is like Bill Belichick kind of ship. They they're coming up with something, and they've got all the great political minds, starting with Obama to figure shit out. It's a little bit when you look at it. They have. They have not a handful, but they have a few people that they know from polling could win. Yeah,

yeah, and so, but it's how can you manipulate maneuver. I don't think they who could beat Trump right now a lot. I think they have a lot too. I think they have two or three. What do you think, I think they have two or three? I think names. If you think I think they think that, uh, that Wimer could win. I think she's thinking nobody nobody cares about the Michigan She said nobody they think I think they think. I know they think it that Shapiro could win.

There'll never be a Noody else. I don't know about a Jewish candidate right now. They'll never be a Jew in the White House or an Italian, said that confidently. Didn't mean we already had an Italian. No, Paulmo got close. And what's the name that the woman was friend? What's the name of the New York chick? Her husband had mafia tie. See once you got mafia tie. I think your kind of lived like an Italian though. All right, Whitten, right now they like they like Shapiro,

they like Fritzker. Give me a break that failure for Millan oil. Who's whose state is going down the tubes? One hundred and twenty people shot on July twenty dead. Yeah, great state. He's running, he's going around the country. No, I don't think that basher from Kentucky. I think they know nothing about him, know nothing about him. He's a very very popular blue governor in a red state. There's people they any one of those

people does dramatically better than the cackling creat Yeah. The Biden was the best bet. Biden was the best bet. Even though he's on one leg and one on the Banan appeal, he was their best bet. We know he couldn't last, but that was their best bet. Now they're gonna just grab straws and try to figure it out. No one cares. Look, I'm gonna give you the uh, the unintelligent guy at the end of the bar's theory. Nobody cares about a guy from Kentucky or a guy named Shapiro or

Whitner and the fucking bullshit kidnapped story. Trump will lay them out like Tyson did every challenger that came his way. They have nothing, They can't brag about their background like Trump can. Trump's already done the job. I find those people to be comical. Biden would have been his best test and honestly, as stupid as she is. Kamala Harris comes from that fabric, comes from that cloth, come from that White House, and Hollywood fifty million dollars

in one day. Man, they turned on their faucets again. Couldna I think it was Jesus Christ. So they're all dung ho for her good luck? Yeah, but I'm not. I don't mean this the way it's gonna sound. But you can't put enough lipstick on that too. It's just not the Country's not that dumb. They're not gonna be able to sell that. But some of those other people are, so I just don't know how you could possibly maneuver yourself to get there. We don't even have the second person

drop out before Oh my god, election day. I mean, you can't. And are are they? Is the Republicans going to try and force the hand and force a resignation? Now, I don't think that's for them. I don't think given her the benefits of being incumbent make any freaking sense. Let it play out the way it's playing out. He hasn't been president since twenty twenty anyway, he hasn't been making any of the decisions since then. If I'm Trump, I just keep my mouth shut for the next two weeks.

Just don't say too much, don't be too don't be too braggy in the media. Just tell him now, let them make mistakes. We've learned them all. The Democrats talk and do things. We see awful decisions. They make things we can't explain, things that look ridiculous. Let them keep talking, finding their candidate, finding her VP. Look, it's time for us to just take a rest on the side of the ring, you know, take us up of water, listen to your coach, and come out

fighting these people. Who they think they're gonna go against Trump. They have no idea the wood chip, but they're gonna step into If they get to that point, he's gonna tear them apart, right, kill them. He killed dynasties already. These people are nobody. Shapiro the sheer fucking dead in two minutes dead, America will laugh at them. Well see what's the favorite, right, But I'm looking, Look, there's there's a The problem is

that there's a there's a there's a cap. There's there's a line past which Trump can't go because you have as many people who are now in his court, you still have this tremendous number of people who are you know, never look, the third party candidate is I think going to be going in the end be the best thing that happened for Trump. The fact that there is a third party can't beat there because I think it's it's it's going to give

especially young people, another option away from what the Dems present. So hey, we uh, you got to go in the morning, and we put the audience to sleep about forty minutes ago. So yeah, we're gonna get I'm gonna get some text that Angela Demino is going to tell me, She draws the line in ed Creampole's the hour mark or whatever. Everything is a bitch, not we go all over the board. That's the way we We definitely did say a prayer tonight for Albert. Okay, we'll keep out about

your thoughts, folks. Albert, all right, buddy, dude, have a great trip, Enjoy all the rest of the week in Vegas. You got it, all right,