A Horse With No Name

Did all you guys prepare and file? Huh? I'm sure you're all good Americans and don't care in the least that so many of your dollars are going into the government's hands so that they can do whatever the hell they want to put those dollars back into the very important things we need to survive and thrive as people.

So with that said, I wonder how many of you, across your lifetime sat across or your accountant tax and we're completely fine knowing that much of your money was going to foreign countries so that there could be bullshit experiments in DEI and political correctness and trends awareness conducted. Right. You know the old adage that you work for the government from January June and then whatever you make from July to December essentially goes to you. See it's pretty fair, right,

of course it does. I told that to my kids about a year or so ago. They had no idea what I meant. Roxy got her first pay check probably a year and a half ago, two years ago, and she was like, I can't believe much money they took out. It was only like forty five hours. And I go oh. Roxy waits and I explained to her, as if I'm some brainiac when it comes to taxes, I'm not, but we don't know. People don't know. I mean, grown ups know, but it's horrifying, especially when you find out what they've

been doing with those dollars of hours. So I imagine you find that our government was apparently investing in pickleball. Yeah, recently it provided twelve million dollars, but twelve million dollar grant for a thirty court pickleball complex in Las Vegas. And I'm sure those of you who live in I don't know, Missouri are very glad that you're paying for sports complexes in Nevada. That's not even that bad because there are people in other states that pay for shit

that we use in our state. I understand that one love one country. Okay, great, but you want to know

why sometimes paying taxes can sometimes literally be for the birds. Okay? Well, In another great example of wasteful government spending, the National Science Foundation has decided that the world of bird watching needs a dose of diversity, equity, and inclusion, and our government approved the grant for about three hundred thousand dollars to create affinity groups within bird watching clubs to ensure

that birdwatching communities are more inclusive. You know what it's like when you go look for whipperwills and the person next to you is not the person you think is diverse enough. Boy, that's a kick in the pants. Ain't it unbelievable. I don't know how long I said this, And I'm so happy we're all okay with giving our

money to important causes like bird watching. If you're okay with that, then you have to be fine with twenty million dollars of our money going to the Fertilized Right Initiative that's to advance fertilizer use in exotic locales like Pakistan, or as Obama wants say, Pakistan, Vietnam, Columbia, and Brazil.

There's so many more examples of our tax dollars going to very important causes close to our heart, such as a couple of million bucks to An's Dei in Serbia's workplaces and business communities, seventy thousand for the production of a Dei musical in Ireland, three million for electric vehicles in Vietnam, fifty grand for a transgender operating in Colombia.

You've heard these before. I just thought, since it's tax day, we should really remember that two million dollars of our money went to sex changes and LGBT activism in Guatemala, six million bucks to fund tourism in Egypt, and ayhay, look, just wanted to remind you how lucky we all are

to give away our tax dollars to such important causes. So, whether you've already filed or will be filing today or filed an extension, I just wanted to remind you that don't ever think paying taxes is done, especially when you consider what wonderful causes our money has gone to. Somebody fucking light my hair on fire and throw me out a window. And another example of what planet am I on A British boss, some guy in the UK he was a boss of a company. He couldn't believe what

he saw. He was interviewing a gen Zer and this particular idiot on a zoom call a zoom interview, decided to look like a breakfast plate during this interview. So the guy's name is Aiden Kramer. He's the co founder of ai Apply, an app that uses AI to help workers write cover letters, polp fly for jobs and secure interviews. First of all, the boss shows up on the interview

wearing in a white T shirt. That pissed me off, right there, don't complain about what someone else is doing if you're wearing a white fucking T shirt to an interview. Now that's put on a shirt, a shirt and tie, even white T shirt. Any other guys conducting this interview is on zoom with some gen zer and this person is using a filter to make her look like a breakfast plate during their interview. So the guy creamer things decess to be a mistake. He says, nice to meet you.

I'm not sure if you know, but there's a bit of animation on your face. And the woman who you know, you can't identify because her face is covered by a plate with eggs and toast says, well, I'm not feeling well today, took a mental health day off, and I

figured I use this filter. Of course, the guy has taken aback and he's stumbling through his words, and he tries to explain very calmly, why this woman can't remain anonymous or look like a breakfast plate during her job interview, and he very calmly says, listen, I'm not sure we're going to be able to continue. It's not very professional. Is there any chance or could turn it off right away right there? Could you imagine this happening in the seventies or eighties? Do you think one of our bosses

would be this cam? The candidate then says, well, I can use a different filter if you want. The guy's like, no, no, don't, and then the person switches to a filter where she's a giant strawberry? Is this better? And that's where the

clip ends. So I don't know. It's unclear what happened from there, but the boss posted on social media this whole thing with a picture of the stupid animation this girl used on a filter, got thirty thousand likes, probably one hundred thousand by now, And get this a lot of people who saw this came down on the boss for posting the video. Some people who were who are gen Zers, which is the worst generation of all time? And listen, if you have kids in that generation, as

I do, what can we do? We're raising them right, it's everybody around them besides their parents, like us, who's fucking them up? The media, television application, everybody's fucked. Teachers are fucking them up. Sorry, this shit gets me because it's our children. I'm not gonna hire anybody again. I'm not applying for jobs to resume. Some thought the person who used the filter, well, she's just being amusing, she's being fun. Some people say, now that's crossing the line.

But some were hung up on the fact that this guy recorded the interview and posted it on social media. You know, this is not normal behavior, and somebody commented an asked the guy do you normally have your phone out to record interview candidates? Is that professional? And the guy's like, how could I not? Which I completely understand. This is the same issue for people who have ridiculous body modifications and stupid neck tattoos or tattoos across their head.

They do these stupid things and then they complain they can't find a job. We've all seen those kids and go, oh, that's where they can work. They can give you coffee in the morning, that's about it. They can work in a car garage. Sure, they can repossess your car, work on your truck. There's not many places they can go hand your shoes at a bowling alley. I don't I haven't bowled in twenty years. I don't know who are we handling the ball to once we get ready to split,

who are these assholes? Just imagine counting on them in the event of another World War. I got news here they're not going. Let's move away from this insanity. But before I do, I want to point out a couple of things that really burn my ass. Okay, I got a couple of complaints about Instagram that, well, it's par for the course, you guys know that. But here's one

I got complaints. And since there's now a meta whistleblower trying to prove that Mark Zuckerberg lied to Congress about his company's ties to China, was a big story coming down the pike this week. That's for the end of the week or for the next politics as witch. But in the meantime, I gotta mention a thing or two that I've picked up on that pisses me off. Have

you guys noticed this? When you're scrolling on Instagram and you stop on a video or a post that you have to read that maybe moves you in a way or just it could be something like a fistfight in a bar, It could be a little donkey playing with a baby, whatever it is. If you go to the bottom of the page, Instagram casually mentions the name of one of your contexts who they believe might find that post as interesting as you do, and in so doing,

they're pushing you to forward the post to this particular person. Now, that in itself is not that bad. If I want to show somebody of a of a rooster running toward its favorite and that's fine. But I've been keeping my eye on this creepy feature. And the other day I'm watching some video of a crazy anti Israeli protester in the streets of New York City and I'm really my blood's boiling. I hate when these mm fucking I don't

you know, I get too, ma. I can't stand when you know anti Israelis scream into the face of cops and could them pigs and they've just got to stand there and take it. I could never have that job. I'd have the peppers free out and the Knights stick up their ass. Sorry, my pension's gone. I can't work this way, I can't live this way. So I'm watching this anti Israeli protester in the streets of New York and the bottom of the page brings up my friend's name,

ZeVA Palmer. No big deal, right, except ZeVA is Jewish, and in some weird way, the jerk offs on Instagram, it's only natural that I should forward that message to her. Right, Not only that, it gets worse and even more creepy and downright route. I'm watching another Instagram video of a young black girl who can really sing. I mean, she's like wow, like a twelve year old Whitney Houston. And again Instagram suggests I should also send that video to ZeVA.

Why this girl's not Jewish? Is it because ZeVA has a young daughter? I wish No, it's because ZeVA was married to a black man, like the great LaRue Palmer and the little shits and Instagram believe this should naturally go to her, and then Instagram does the same thing and suggests I should send the post to my dear friend Jiji Levangi, who was married to her black husband, the Great Chris Elise. This is nonsense. This is bullshit.

It also happens whenever I see an Italian recipe or a five year old girl in Italy speaking animatedly with her hands and her parents, and Instagram says, hey, send this to your buddy John Monteforte. I'm sorry, this is bullshit. Now it's profiling. That it's profiling, and I listen, I know profiling happens everywhere, except, of course, when the police do it right. Because liberal fuckers like Zuckerberg, who I don't care how much money he gives to Trump never

ever trust this puny shit. Pricks like him believe profiling. It's just fine if it advances their business model. But you're the police profile of black man. Shame on them. Defund the police. I'll send millions to help you defund them.

This is wrong. I don't like it one bit, and I know most of what I'm talking about is just videos and Instagram like the ones that feature a shitsu and uh, you know, I love the Shitsu videos naturally, and Zuckerberg's little elves pushed me to share it with Andrea because we have TOUTSI it's not right, it's intrusive, and I know you punks are looking on my shoulder every day all day, but don't make it so obvious. Idiots. We got to take them in the back room and

give them a beat. You know, somebody forget who pardoned me. I think it was jo Leone sent me a video of an old guy in an Italian neighborhood talking about the old days and how yeah him off he was in the street. Yeah it was, you know they were. They were all over the streets of New York, certain neighborhood. They sat outside outside the social club. But you know what, there was no crime. And Rose they could tell you the same thing. She used to walk in Brooklyn at night,

not too late. But everybody, all the all the tough guys and the gangsters knew who she was, who her father was, who her uncles were. They didn't They wouldn't let anybody fuck with kids like that in that capacity. They were good. The tough guy. Yes, they had their own business and they killed people. That's their own world. But they kept the neighborhood clean and safe. These pricks what they're doing here, I don't like it one bit. But this guy is complained, telling me how great things

were back in the day, and he's right. We didn't have to deal with these little pussies who have gotten in our heads and made us think that. Oh, ain't know what you think. Any they're worse than criminals. I don't know a better word than offensive. It's icky to think that they're in our heads and they believe they know better than we do who we should forward a message to. I don't like it one bit. Anyhow. There have been strong rumors about that White Lotus show on

HBO that just wrapped up. There were rumors last week about Walton Goggins and the female co star, Amy Lou Woods, that they struck up a love affair while spending seven months filming that series in Thailand. Seven months. That's tough. You can't even fly your family. I mean, you can fly your family out, but you're working so much. They're not gonna have a good time. It's sticky, sticky hot. No,

It's that's tough. Anyhow, that's a that's a long time and romances happen on movie sets, and and and and TV shows forever, so naturally you have to spending that much time together. The story is the Room of the Strong. Rumor is Walton Goggins and Amy lou Wood, who played lovers on the show, you know, got very well acquainted and they there are people on the show who said they formed a bond way beyond co stars just memoring

lines for their parts playing lovers. And then when the show rapped, suddenly both stars stop following each other on Instagram. Oh and now you know, I think we can say that they're officially could put because if romances are are deemed up and happening, when you post a picture on Instagram, you become Instagram official. Well, if you stop following each other, it's got to mean your relationship is done. Has somebody checked that Bianca Sensory is still following Kanye? I don't

check Kanye's stuff. He's lost his mind. I feel like we're peering into the life of a really sick person and I've lost interest in doing it. It's so sad. It's beyond set. Him and Britney Spears ought to live together at this point. So in the way of Saturday Night Live spoofing that series, which I think was hysterical. I said this on yesterday's show, making fun of Amy

Litwood's very famous buck teeth. Walton Goggins made sure everyone knew that he found a sketch hysterical, even though SNL producers apologized to the actress, he thought it was hysterical. He supported it. He said it was great. He said, you know, I loved it. You know, just all words that you know, superlatives. It was great, It was funny. And when he laughs at those big old now hear that buck teeth, they's got big old veneers shine like a diamond. I like him a lot. He's a good actor.

He was great on the shield, great and justified. You know he's good. But yeah, Amulus pissed. Walton Goggins loved it. It's exact quote was ha ha ha ha ha ha amazy. He did erase it or deleted, I should say, but he did right smashing. And he also praised John Ham's portrayal of his character Rick, saying, hey, John, I knew I was miscast. I don't know. Some people found the sketch mean. I found it funny. I think this girl's teeth, as I've said, stand on their own. She's gonna be fine.

But I don't think she's ever gonna change those teeth because she's made it this far with him. Why fuck with success? Right? Are you sick of? Are you sick yet of seeing all these? Oh? You know what I got to talk to you guys about. I'll do it probably tomorrow. What the hell is this hold on? What is this? My answer, Ishie, my Rosie's answer is shoeing

on crazy. I want to talk to you tomorrow about the director out here in Hollywood, James Tobak, who was one of the goons during the Me Too movement who really got hit hard, but the Horvey Weinstein story overshadowed anything this asshole did. James Toback had this whole creepy rap where he would follow girls in New York City in certain neighborhoods, and when they were young enough, he would deem it appropriate to approach them and tell them, Hey, would you like to read for a movie like the

kind of shit we've heard growing up? Where people are I mean, I remember when I was picking up roxy from kindergarten and my wife at the time was I don't know, twenty feet away from me, and this creepy guy's talking to a given her a business card, and I finally met up with what was that about? Guy thinks, you know, I've got a certain look. He wants to be to read for from on the fucking street. What

do you mean get rid of that? This guy's a noble You think real casting agents and producers walk the streets. That's out of school and go, hey, listen, you'd be great to read. Throw the garbage. But that's what this guy told back was doing. And when he got some of these gullible girls to walk into his apartment or hotel room and then he would proposition them and some really Julianne Moore, it happened to you twice. He did

it once, she got rid of him. Then like two years later he approached it with the same rap, but she said, did you forget you already approached me. He became a joke. However, it was recently decided he needs to pay one point six billion with a B dollars to the women that he sexually abused. One point six billion sounds like an impossible amount of money to gather up, but hear now I bet your Harvey wins. He would rather try to find that money then spend the rest

of his life in jail, Isn't it crazy? I know that industry had to be cleaned up and still needs to be cleaned up, But Jesus Christ one point six billion making an amount of money where someone can pay it and it ruins their life. If you make it that high, what thing's gonna happen? It was like O J. Simpsons. Did you think he would ever pay the Goldman's the amount of money they won in court? Of course not. You know what OJ was doing. You know what Kardashian

and Robert Shapiro were doing. More Kardashian he needed money, And how do you smuggle memorabilia into prison so OJ can sign it and make money. You can't, So they would take in You know, you look at football's right, leather footballs. They're all put together in swaths of leather, each swaths, so, for lack of a better word, each piece of the football is sewn together until you have

that beautiful spherical shape. Well, Shapiro or Kardashian whomever would bring those pieces into prison and OJ would autograph them all while they were having their meetings. Then they take him back constructive football and sell it. And that's how OJ made money. That money did not go to the Goldmans. I'm saying, give told back the kind of money that he has to pay back and destroy him, not a ridiculous amount of money that certain towns can't paignone a

man who hasn't worked in twenty fucking years. Anyhow, I need some wader unbelievable. Ugh, I've been seeing pictures of all these hairfas celebrities at Coachella, the big music festival. By the way, I do want to mention this off topic for a second kind of off topic. I saw Lizzo on SNLLL the weekend. Like I've always said, she's got a very pretty face. When she loses the weight, she's gonna look great. She looked great on SNL. Feel thick.

Still a thick woman, but that's okay. She's not out landishly morbidly obese to the point where her stomach was hanging over her vagina while she was naked in a hot tub stuffing donuts at a blender with ice cream. She's just now a thick woman and that's okay. Her face is very pretty. We all know she's talented. See there's no articles asking you how much better she feels. You can't do that. That means your anti fat. Let

her say it on her own. What horseshit? So Lizzo's now losing weight, of course, on the help of one of those diabeta drugs. I don't care good for those people. But there's a new girl. I don't say new, there's a girl that's now in my horizon. Let's say Lowly Young. If you see this white slob, she's the newest thing that so many women can't get enough of. Lowly Young. She's a white girl about Lizzo's height and not as

big as Lizlo used to be. But this one doesn't care how she looks in a mid drift shirt with her belly out shaking everywhere in the desert, and every woman, of course, and every liberal man is acting like this is great. She looks great. Twenty four years old, probably weighs two fifty. Okay, so Lizzo's figured out what she has to do. Lowly Young is next. I'm not gonna keep harping on her. But again, you can't make fun of these people. You can't be critical of these people,

because then you're anti woman, you're anti fat. I can't take it. So ywow, Coachella's going on right. I saw Para Sultan wor Enda's craziest outfit. Yes, I do think she's sexy, not with that stupid outfit. The woman's gonna be fifty in about four years, five years, whatever it is. Stop it. You got a kid at home, you're married, even though the guy's a schmuck and he's an accessory. Stay home. But no, she's out there in the heat, one hundred degree heat, dusty festival out in the desert

in Indio, California. Just pay the Palm Springs. I saw a photo of someone who purchased five tortilla shells filled with steak, onions and salsa, a plate of nachos, and a lemonade for one hundred and two dollars. Yeah, yeah, you would think that. Since the price of admission to this hellscape for all three days is six hundred and fifty bucks and six hundred dollars for its second weekend, who has this kind of extra dough to go visit

purgatory in Palm Springs. Let me tell you something I've been to Palm Springs many times actually got married there. I like it. It's beautiful if you can see the scenery beyond the thousands of gay men who stormed the streets every day. But my first trip there was a bit of a nightmare. Allow me to tell you. When I was in New York City, I remember just beginning the very big first few weeks of my gossip career, working at New York Newsday part time for Linda Stacy.

And where do I go? Who do I know? Nobody? Where do I go? I don't know. There was this very in ultra chic celebrity hot spot on a little street, Ninth Street, called Cafe TOBECC two story, non descript building, but boy, oh boy, it was the center of the universe for the Hoy Poloy and all the fancy people in New York. I hated it right away because tobacc

is short for tobacco. I hate smoking, and whenever I passed the place, all you could see was cigarette smoke hanging above people's heads and below the low hanging ceiling. It was like a nightmare for me. But I gotta get in. That's where all the stars are. Sorry, Poul private party, I heard that countless times. Eventually I get myself inside the small joint, which is packed, packed with every VIP of New York City, and beyond there was one thing to get past the doorman in the cafe.

To bec beyond him, there was this set of black carpeted stairs that went straight up to the second floor, the all important second store. This was, for all intents and purposes, the stairway to heaven. To my left was the bar, and beyond the bar was a small restaurant. So I got inside, made a quick left. Now I can at least get to the bar, all right, order a drink, act like I know what I'm doing. What

have I go next? I'm looking for people, looking for just trying to see the scenery, you know, like paint the picture in my head of who's here, who's doing what? And like I said, the restaurant beyond the bar, another whole battle. To get in there. You had to have a reservation, even if they are empty tables. They wouldn't sit you if your clothes were right, you know, real snobbish shit. And uh, no way I'm gonna get to

that dining area. But the most exclusive part of this supper club was being able to get past the doorman who stood at the bottom of these long steps, which led to this even more exclusive room where every celebrity really let it all hang out. And after several visits there and hundreds of handshakes and meeting different people and various attempts to get to the second floor, they came

that day when the velvet rope just opened. I guess they saw me enough, and I wasn't a bother, and I dressed right whatever it was, my new silver bracelets, my leather clogs, I don't know, but I got up. This is nineteen ninety, It's thirty five years ago. Jesus Christ of my had dinosaur thirty five years ago. They figured, let it in. We'll got some press from New York News. They go ahead. So the first night I climbed the stairs alone, which is the way I wanted about my

business back then. In the beginning, I went out alone. Later on I went with girls that I took guys, and I took guys and girls. But in the beginning alone, I couldn't believe what I saw. Sounds shallow now, I understand, but I'm looking at supermodels making that with souper models, tippy top Hollywood stars getting hammered doing coke off the table, off their knives, off their wristwatches, actors, actresses, magnets, mobsters, millionaires, you name it. They were all there and letting it

all hang out. But it was this one night that caught my eye immediately and catch anyone's eye. In the back of the room, along the windows which were blacked out by dark green velvet curtains. Right, I love them so much. I got them from my bedroom. My bedroom was aloft and there was no wall that separated my bedroom from the living room, so I used these big green velvet curtains with these big rumpes that I was insane.

It was crazy in my room. But anyhow, I watched this beautiful girl dancing on the table with no top on, beautiful body, credible body, just a rigly, sexy mess of long blonde hair, and her tits are ound, small black mini skirt, tight black leather booths that went up to her knee. I couldn't take it. Come to find out, she was a penthouse pet named Samantha Phillips. And as the months and years went on, I'd see you more often,

and because I got a lot of shit. And because I had a job that was the kind of job that would get her press, I was able to strike up a friendship with her. And that was easy back then because of my job. And look, I look decent, but I'm not stupid. It was easy when you could put someone's name or picture in a column and make them even more of a thing, more of a happening, right, And some people got very flat about that. Sometimes that turned a friendship into a romance. It was a lot

of fun. A few years later, Samantha moves to Los Angeles, and we stayed in touch with a phone call now and then. She'd give me information from LA for my column in New York. You know, she always knew what was going on in Los Angeles, so I liked to have it her out here as a source. And we never we would. They were physical in New York, not once.

They didn't even kiss the New York Around nineteen ninety four or so, maybe three years later, I begin to fly to LA and spend the weekends at Robert Evans house in Beverly Hills. And one week and I'm in town and I'm still dating car Young by the way, right, so I wasn't cheating, but I didn't think it was a problem to agree to meet Sam. When she told me she was shooting the movie in Palm Springs and

maybe I should drive out. I figured that's a good story for the column, and I don't mind being with Sam. She's easy on the eyes. Right. Obviously to her it meant we're having sex. And I knew in the back of my mind she probably is going to be open to this. But I still went because I'm strong. You can't make me have sex with you, right, guys. I went, and I took Evans Jaguar, which he rarely drove. I used to drive that car to pick up his Hamburgers

at Hamburger Hamlet. He was very generous with the car. In that car was a cell phone right in the middle console. Pretty fancied back in that time. So he lets me borrow the car. I tell him what it's for. I have some fun, kid, bring back a story, which is that kind of thing. So I head out to the desert with a fucking map, not a map, but directions on a piece of paper, because I didn't know

nothing about the highways in La. Right, the highways of LA are the way to Palm Springs may have been might as well have been the surface of the moon, you know, because I didn't know what kind of roads, and it was a little daunting. Okay, sure enough, I'd pull in to wherever it was, some motel movie set right next to it, and I see all these beautiful chicks walking around with the tops off, and I'm going Jesus, And then Sam pops out, Hi, honey, Hey, Hey, what

the fuck? What's going on? And she tells me she's working on this movie. What kind of movies it? Oh, it's like a soft core porn thing for the Playboy channel. Oh okay, I had no idea, didn't even ask her why she's out there, So of course I stick around. I watch some of the movie. I watch her scene with some dude, obviously no penetration, but very sexy. Nonetheless, it kind of, you know, made my blood stir. And it looked obvious to everyone there that she and I

were probably together. She's holding my hand as we walk to the craft service table, shit like that. And I didn't know this is how she felt. You know. There's always a thing guys, you know, like we may when we were younger, or maybe some of you guys who are single right now, we may want to go out and hope to get late. I think most men feel that way. Hey I'm gonna put on this outfit and splash on a look cologne, and you know, hey, I

look good, maybe I'll get late. We never know. Girls are getting ready in the house with their other girlfriend on the phone, and they both know, oh, I'm fucking somebody tonight. They know because it's their body, their choice, they get to make that decision in their head. In other words, they're open to it. Guys are hoping, but women know. Okay, So I actually felt a little bit dirty or a little bit I didn't feel good about myself since I just left New York City and you know,

I was still dating Car. But I played along because I'm a guy, or I was a young guy back then. Shooting ends, Everyone starts to light up a joint. Here comes the beers. Everybody's sitting around, literally sitting around a little fire, and they started and people are drinking beers, and she's sitting on my lap, and all these people

are hanging out. You can see people who are going to mess around, peeling off and Okay, at some point, Sam says, let's go back to my room at this hotel, all right, And it was very obvious that what she wanted to do was about to take place. And look, look, God knows she was a beauty, and any man in my shoes would have went forward. But for the first time in my life, I just I couldn't do it. My conscious wouldn't let me do it. It didn't feel right.

So obviously I'm not a dead man. We start kissing, and we're making out, and we're getting closer and closer to that point, and I just stop and I say, Sam, I don't think I can do this. Don't get man, don't get man. Please, I gotta go. What do you mean, Please stay? I can't. I just look, it's not you, it's me, that whole thing, you know, Is it because of the car? No, No, don't be silly, it's not. But we're hardly together, big lie. I just maybe we're

going too fast. I don't know. She goes, I've never heard that from a guy. I listen. I know, believe me. I never thought i'd say it, but I just I gotta go. She starts to cry, not like sniffles, cry, I'm going come on. People are gonna heat, They're gons gonna beat you up. Stomp, stomp. I can't believe this. I was waiting for this, all right, all right, listen, it may happen again. It just can't happen. To please come down. I gotta get back in the road now.

I'm like ninety minutes to two hours away from Beverly Hills back to Evan's house. I don't know the roads. It's getting dark. I hop in Evans Jaguar and I head back and I'm driving, and by the way, I'm several drinks into the night. Of course, shouldn't be behind the hill, not loaded. But obviously you get pulled over two or three drinks, they can write you up and pull you in twenty minutes in of course, in my rear view mirror, I see a cop car coming and

the lights are on. I'm dead. I have no excuse. Where do you even go? Where's the jail out there? I have no idea. Who's gonna bail me out? Have I got Evans car. It was a disaster. I don't know how this came to the front of my head, but I just passed an exit that I believe was called Indio Road. If my memory is correct, it was Indio Road or some shit like that.

It just happened to me. Now boom she she hangs up. I'm still going sixty. I even press the gas a little more to separate me in the cup. I see him slow down and he gets off the road, hangs a U turn and goes tear assing back to the overpass, and I'm like, holy shit, I made it. I let out a sigh of relief on top of that. As I'm driving went through the desert, thinking I made it. I wasn't out of the woods yet. I see these little things running alongside the highway. Some even crossed the road.

I don't know what they were, like rats with long wings, skinny chickens. I had no idea. I thought I was hallucinating. I took no drugs that oh, I took purpose, but still they don't make me hallucinate. Turns out they were road runners. I've never seen a road runner since the cartoons the Kid. Have you seen road runners? I bet many of you have. I never saw roaders in New York City. Flipped me out after that. I didn't fuck with Palm Springs for years. Eventually, Samantha and I laughed

about that crazy night, and she completely understood. We stayed very good friends, friends with benefits. We eventually hooked up and certain things had to happen, and they did. Once I moved to La. She actually lived a mile away from in La, so it was a very common occurrent to go see her. We were so close that she asked me to stay over her house for two or three days and help her bathe because after she got

her breast implants made bigger. Normal chores around the house were too painful for her to accomplish, and me, being a good friend, I cooked for, I cleaned for, I helped bathe her. Only in LA, kids only in LA. But be careful if you fuck with the desert. A lot of crazy things happen out there. There were demons, sexy girls, roadrunners, cops. Stay away. I'm aj Bens And that was your daily Unfiltered podcast for April fifteenth, twenty twenty five. And I'll talk to you tomorrow