Peter's got a lot on his mind this week: Michael's confidently claiming that he's about to be Wilshire Memorial's next Chief of Staff; Amanda's found out about the time he's secretly been spending with Taylor. And while he's pretty sure he knows how to deal with Michael's BS in a way that will benefit himself, his plan to tell Amanda about his secret ex-in-law falls apart when he...runs it by Taylor first? Somehow she's the only person whose motivations he CAN'T see through. When Michael isn't p...
May 02, 2022•48 min
Michael is more obsessed than ever with figuring out what Megan's trying so hard to hide from him, eventually memorizing her license plate number and finding out where she actually lives. She manages to stonewall him until he follows her to an appointment and she's forced into a confession. Elsewhere, Kimberly finds out what Dr. Stein found during her physical: she has an inoperable brain tumor, and a three-month prognosis. How will she tell Michael...or will she tell him anything at all? (Matt ...
Apr 25, 2022•44 min
So Michael and Kimberly still aren't having sex, and her psychiatrist thinks there may be a physical cause. Will a complete workup reveal what the issue is, or is Kimberly perfectly content being celibate and having Michael as her best friend? Michael might be fine with that too, if it means he can keep having sex with the mystery blonde down the beach (Megan Lewis, it turns out), though he also may screw that up by demanding to know more about her life than she wants to tell him. Amanda and Pet...
Apr 18, 2022•44 min
The problems Amanda is facing in this episode are hardly the worst Melrose Place has ever thrown at her, but there are LOTS of them, and they're coming at her from all sides. D&D is toxic in a whole new way, and her choices for second-in-command are apparently limited to Billy or Craig. Peter just seems to be goofing off instead of beating the bushes for new patients to replace the ones he lost while he was incarcerated -- and every time she catches him being especially lazy, one or more of ...
Apr 11, 2022•37 min
Amanda and Peter's decision to take a quick honeymoon in Santa Barbara causes a LOT of unexpected ripples! Taylor, overhearing Kimberly and Michael talking about it at the practice, rooks Kyle into going to the same resort so she can continue creeping around Peter. While Amanda's out of the office, her slimy boss Arthur installs his son Craig (David Charvet) and makes Billy show him the ropes, but it's immediately clear that both Field men have a bigger plan for the agency. Jane frees Jake and A...
Apr 04, 2022•39 min
Who's having problems with their living situation? Who isn't! Peter assumes that, now that they're married, Amanda will move into his nice big house; he has no interest in even discussing the idea of moving into her pokey little apartment. But then some tough financial realities take the decision out of his hands. If anything were to convince Amanda to change her address, it would probably be Taylor constantly trying to ingratiate herself to Amanda -- this time, by asking Amanda to take the Kyle...
Mar 28, 2022•47 min
Things are looking bleak for Peter's defense: Kimberly still hasn't recovered her memory, and when she gets coerced into testifying anyway, her sketchy story only makes his case look worse. You know who sure is interested in all of this for someone who, officially, doesn't know Peter at all? Taylor, whose need to start sniffing around the courtroom draws suspicion from Kyle, and also sticks him with all the work of moving into their new apartment. Alison is moving too, and Billy is both eager to...
Mar 21, 2022•47 min
Peter tells Amanda it doesn't matter what the cops think about Beth's demise, or what her diary said: he definitely did euthanize her. Amanda's not bothered, nor is Det. Wylie when she confronts him about knowing all along that Peter had been exonerated: he's feeling good about the case now that Kimberly is in the wind. For...about ten minutes, until Michael finds her walking down the street. Kimberly admits that she can't talk to the cops about the night of Bobby's death because she doesn't rem...
Mar 07, 2022•36 min
Amanda doesn't want to believe that her brand-new husband Peter has been living under an assumed identity literally the whole time she's known him, but she also can't help finding Det. Wylie pretty credible. So she gets him to spill what he knows and follows the trail to Kansas City, to find out what went on there before he came into her life. Michael continues his vigil at Kimberly's bedside (Matt and his new ultra-quick speech patterns -- his speedy speech, you might say! -- aren't much help.)...
Feb 28, 2022•47 min
Before launching into Season 5 of Melrose Place , we're taking a quick break for something very silly: Thunderdome! You all know Thunderdome from the feature film Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome , right? If not, it's an arena where combatants are sent to fight to the death. So we're engaging in a thought experiment where we throw in 18 90210 side characters, talk through who would probably prevail in several rounds of combat, and eventually winnow the list down to one ultimate champion. Which of you...
Feb 22, 2022•37 min
Obviously, Sydney knows her bargaining position is weak, but she really attempts many different arguments to convince Jane not to follow through on her whole Richard-killing plan. None of them works. A Hail Mary to get JAKE to talk to Jane and urge her not to make any "funky" decisions -- not that she specifies what those might be -- does bring Jake to the design studio just in time to see Jane trying to distract Richard from his (accurate) suspicions about her financial malfeasance by making ou...
Feb 14, 2022•1 hr 10 min
Peter is down bad at Willowbridge, but not out: he decides to try to work his magic on the soft-hearted, lonely, apparently horny Nurse Benson (Priscilla Presley!), offering to "make [her] happy," wink, if she'll just help him leave the hospital -- even just for one night! Meanwhile, on the outside, Amanda and (to a much lesser extent) Michael make pretty decent amateur sleuths, as Amanda tracks Kimberly's ATM use to the vicinity of Willowbridge, and the two hit the road in search of their troub...
Feb 07, 2022•31 min
Peter gets a lot of bad news right away: Alycia's dead, Kimberly's in the wind, and all evidence points to him as Bobby's murderer. At least he convinces Amanda that he didn't kill her ex, even though she, you know, obviously knows he definitely DID try to kill AMANDA HERSELF. But never mind! He's very pleased when Kimberly appears at his house out of the blue, but despite criticizing MICHAEL earlier for not noticing wild swings in Kimberly's personality, Peter does not interpret the headband an...
Jan 31, 2022•52 min
How do you follow up an episode that closed with one partner in a medical practice getting arrested for sexual misconduct while the other -- who was actually guilty of the crime -- was left unconscious and possibly dead from a hammer blow by one of his wife's Dissociative Identity Disorder alters? It seems unlikely but "MELROSE UNGLUED ACTUALLY TOPS IT." Amanda finds a way to buy Peter out of his legal trouble, just as Kimberly decides to kick Michael out of the beach house for his own safety. B...
Jan 24, 2022•41 min
Teri has decided to sidestep charges and just sue Peter over the Brandi affair. Almost everyone is telling him to settle -- like Michael, who offers to pitch in, and Alycia, who...is representing him despite their rather recent and quite acrimonious breakup; only Amanda is urging him to defend himself. Perhaps given all this trouble, he's a bit distracted when Kimberly begs for his help with her mental-health issues. Richard has arranged a meeting for himself and Jane with the biggest retailer o...
Jan 17, 2022•46 min
Though we might find it impossible to imagine D&D without Amanda, it seems that her jerk boss Arthur Field doesn't think she's so integral: he still hasn't renewed her contract, even though she's still boning his golden boy Billy and fending off Peter's advances. Stung, Peter agrees to do Kimberly a favor by getting Michael out of town for a few days, and brings him to San Diego to judge a beauty contest (...sure?), where they meet Teri and Brandi, a mother-daughter team (Loni Anderson and D...
Jan 10, 2022•49 min
It's time for the social event of the year: the Coastal Advertising Conference! And Billy has been preparing by going being Amanda's back to her boss, Arthur Field ("...Who?" exactly) and lobbying him to let Billy make the keynote speech even though Amanda has done it for the past several years. Amanda decides to spite both Arthur AND Billy by giving the assignment to Alison...and from there things get weirdly complicated and a perfectly nice old lady who used to be on Batman gets hurt in the pr...
Jan 03, 2022•52 min
Now that Alycia has succeeded in pushing Bobby out of the company, Peter (whose injuries from that four-foot fall over the railing in the previous episode were not serious) is ready to part ways with Alycia: there's nothing left to scheme about and they don't really like each other. But she isn't ready to let him go, and informs him that buying his way out of both the cable company and their sham relationship will cost him $2 million. Maybe the vodka creep, whom Billy's still sniffing around, is...
Dec 27, 2021•45 min
It's not only that Billy continues to be the absolute worst -- which he absolutely does. It's that Amanda keeps coming right up to the edge of shutting him down and then doesn't, because even though he's a pig, he's a pig who's bringing work to the agency. This time, his risky gambit is to take a vodka client he and Alison are pitching to get a true "American" experience at a strip club with mud wrestling, and then try to close the client by letting the guy mud-wrestle Alison. And when he steps ...
Dec 13, 2021•52 min
This plot to bring down Bobby's cable company is turning out to be a real drag for everyone behind it! First Alycia has an attack of conscience about making Bobby look like a mobster when what he wanted most was to go legit. Then Peter hears from Amanda that she's on the company's board of directors, so if Bobby goes down, he might drag her down with him. Will Peter be able to get this scandal train off the tracks before it crushes his beloved?! After Alison sleeps with Billy and THEN tells him ...
Dec 06, 2021•46 min
You know how when you have one ex-wife working for you and then pick back up with the ex-wife you actually haven't divorced yet and this one lets you know she wants you to fire the other one? Well, Michael does! After Kimberly uses her wiles to convince Michael to let Sydney go, Sydney fires back with sexual harassment lawsuits Peter and Michael are kind of forced to take seriously. At the same time, Peter is firming up his relationship with Alycia and getting her further onto his side and again...
Nov 29, 2021•44 min
As we probably all assumed after the last episode, Brooke is not coming back from her fall into the pool. Billy does his best not to let his estranged wife's sudden passing affect his life at all -- with a funeral to plan two days after her death, why wouldn't he still go to work and continue trying to get Alison to sleep with him? -- but it's not up to him: Brooke's restless ghost simply will not leave him alone. Michael, having determined that Kimberly is the right woman for him, won't take an...
Nov 15, 2021•57 min
While Sarah takes one more week away, we are thrilled that Heather Cocks and Jessica Morgan of GoFugYourself.com can join us once again.... As Brooke's life rapidly unravels, no one cares except her mortal enemy Alison, who encourages Billy to help Brooke out financially (he does; she refuses) before finding Brooke living in her car and ordering her to come live with Alison instead. Brooke repays this kindness exactly the way you'd expect: by acting entitled to it and taking advantage of her res...
Nov 08, 2021•1 hr 47 min
Sarah is out this week spending time with family, so we welcome Heather Cocks and Jessica Morgan -- authors, fashion bloggers, and longtime Melrose Place fans -- as our guest co-hosts.... It's pretty wild how Sydney's choice to abandon a partially paralyzed woman on the beach and leave her at the mercy of the tides has really sent everyone in their orbit into a tizz! Sydney herself is worried that people think she purposely tried to kill Jane and desperately doing damage control. Michael, still ...
Nov 01, 2021•58 min
Jane's ongoing paralysis storyline basically embroils everyone this week, so let's run down the list. Peter, because Michael has made good on his threat to move out of the beach house as long as both Andrews sisters are there, and is now Odd Coupling it up at Peter's place. Bobby and Amanda, because their story branches off from Peter's. Matt, because Jo has brought him the pills she found in Richard's office to identify. Jake, because suddenly he likes Jane again. And Kimberly, because she was ...
Oct 25, 2021•42 min
In the aftermath of Brooke's suicide attempt, a guilt-ridden Billy does everything he can think of to fulfill what he thinks are her wishes: he tells her he loves her; he gets rid of Alison; he demands that Amanda give Brooke her job back; he even cleans the bathroom floor! So if Brooke assumes they're fully back on track and that she can resume using him to try to make that baby she needs, who can really blame her? Peter confronts Bobby and Amanda about their New Year's kiss, though the result ...
Oct 18, 2021•52 min
It's about to be New Year's Eve, but not everyone's in a celebratory mood -- like Peter, who's getting sued for malpractice by some patient we don't know. Bobby invites Amanda and Peter to his house in Palm Springs, and though it seems like it'll be awkward with just the three of them there, Amanda rooks Alison into going, too. It's not like Alison has much going on back home: she starts out icing Billy out, some more. But then after Hayley's lawyer Norman tells Brooke that she won't inherit any...
Oct 11, 2021•39 min
Just in time for Jane to decide she should try to mend fences with her antagonists at work, Jo goes soft and asks Richard not to go through with his plans to push her out of the business -- at least not so close to Christmas! Richard agrees, but doesn't consider whether he should put the damning paperwork into a drawer or cabinet that locks. Kimberly continues treating Sydney, giving her actually good advice on how to turn herself into the perfect doctor's wife for Michael; she also prescribes t...
Oct 04, 2021•46 min
Look, at this point is it even worth trying to figure out what's going on with Kimberly's whole legal situation? Apparently the administration at Wilshire Memorial has given up, because they've agreed to let her work there again -- as a psychiatric intern, but still. The hospital turns out to be the nexus of a lot of new drama: Bobby makes a gigantic anonymous gift, crediting Peter as the rainmaker; and Sydney keeps hanging around trying to determine whether Michael is cheating on her with Jane....
Sep 27, 2021•46 min
Once Amanda recovers from the shock of (a) seeing Bobby after seven years and (b) seeing the gun in his waistband, she agrees to let him explain himself: he still truly loves her, does not intend to kill her, and would never hurt her in any way. She's ready to say goodbye and part on friendly-ish terms...or so she says, but the single tear that falls down her cheek after her flashback to a night on the beach in Miami when he promised to get her out of marrying Jack tells the tale. Meanwhile, Pet...
Sep 20, 2021•55 min
