In this episode of "After the Affair," Join me Luke Shillings as I sit down with guest Yasmin Majid as she shares her powerful story of love, resilience, and personal growth. Yasmin discusses her experience navigating a multicultural upbringing, her marriage of 23 years, and the unexpected revelations that led to its end. She opens up about the lessons she learned from her divorce, her journey of healing from domestic abuse, and her pursuit of self-improvement. Join Luke and Yasmin as they delve...
Oct 25, 2023•1 hr 1 min•Season 2023Ep. 57
In this eye-opening episode of 'After the Affair,' I explore the challenging middle ground of the healing journey - affectionately coined as "Humping After the Affair." Don't let the cheeky title fool you; we're delving deep into that frustrating plateau where you feel stuck between the pain of the past and the uncertainty of the future. You've made some progress, but why does it seem like you're just going through the motions? Join me, Luke Shillings as I break down the psychology behind this s...
Oct 18, 2023•24 min•Season 2023Ep. 56
In this episode of 'After the Affair,' I take a look at the societal pressures that shape how we cope, react, and even move forward. While the emotional toll of betrayal is a weighty topic by itself, the expectations from friends, family, and even complete strangers can add an invisible weight that often goes unspoken. I explore the history of societal norms surrounding betrayal, how media influences our perceptions, and the varying expectations set by gender, culture, and even social media plat...
Oct 11, 2023•18 min•Season 2023Ep. 55
In this episode of "After the Affair," host Luke Shillings interviews Charlotte Tweed, a family divorce solicitor, about her personal experience with divorce and infidelity. Charlotte shares her own story of growing up as a third-party observer of her parents' relationship breakdown and how it influenced her career choice. She also provides valuable insights and professional advice for individuals navigating divorce proceedings in the aftermath of betrayal. You can get in touch with Charlotte an...
Oct 04, 2023•48 min•Season 2023Ep. 54
In this eye-opening episode of 'After the Affair,' join me Luke Shillings, as I identify the key elements of a Doomed Relationship ... What to look out for and what to do about it, plus the aching question, When is it time to walk away? I kick off by identifying the red flags that could signal a doomed relationship—warning signs that you can't afford to ignore. But understanding the symptoms is just the first step; I also peel back the layers of psychology that drive these problematic behaviors....
Sep 27, 2023•26 min•Season 2023Ep. 53
Are you carrying the heavy burden of guilt after discovering your partner's affair, wondering why you didn't act sooner on those red flags? In this eye-opening episode, I look into the emotional turmoil known as 'Inaction Guilt,' dispelling the myth that you're to blame for their betrayal. Learn how to navigate these complicated feelings and why it's crucial to free yourself from the guilt trap for a healthier emotional future. To learn more about working with me: Visit: www.lifecoachluke.com Co...
Sep 20, 2023•17 min•Season 2023Ep. 52
Joining us today is my guest, Ben Pugh, who during the course of conversations shares his background and insights on how parents can better support their children during their teenage years, amidst the changes caused by infidelity. We discuss how modifying our own behaviours can create a positive experience for ourselves and in turn, influence our children's behaviour. In our conversation, we'll delve into the concept of identity, cherishing positive experiences, and not allowing negative ones t...
Sep 13, 2023•53 min•Season 2023Ep. 51
In this 50th episode of "After the Affair," I take a look at the complexities of reentering the dating scene after experiencing betrayal. It's uncharted territory for many, laden with emotional landmines and haunting questions about trust. But as your host, Luke Shillings, I'll guide you through this daunting yet crucial phase in your healing journey. We kick off the episode by exploring how to navigate the world of dating with a fresh perspective on trust, urging you to exercise your "trust mus...
Sep 06, 2023•33 min•Season 2023Ep. 50
In today's episode of 'After the Affair,' I uncover the often unspoken but pervasive issue that many betrayed partners grapple with: the Victim Mentality. Feeling like a victim is an easy trap to fall into after experiencing betrayal, but it's also a trap that can hinder your recovery and personal growth. Join me as I unravel: 1️⃣ The Danger of Victim Mentality: Understand how adopting a victim mindset can hold you back from healing and growing. 2️⃣ Empowerment through Narrative Control: Learn t...
Aug 30, 2023•19 min•Season 2023Ep. 49
In this episode of "After the Affair," host I am joined by guest Faust Ruggiero to discuss the importance of accountability and personal growth after a breakup. We delve into the complexities of relationships, infidelity, and the impact on our sense of identity. Join us as we explore practical strategies for moving forward and finding internal strength to create a fulfilling and empowered life. Faust A. Ruggiero’s professional career spans almost 40 years, and is diversified and compelling, as i...
Aug 23, 2023•48 min•Season 2023Ep. 48
In this episode, I try to get a better understanding of those who cheat and how it affects the healing process after betrayal. Join me Luke Shillings as I uncover the emotions, justifications, and pain behind acts of infidelity. I dive into the mindset of the cheater, exploring the grey areas that often go overlooked. Remember, understanding does not equate to condoning, but it opens the door to authentic conversation, reconciliation, or closure. So, let's go beyond the surface and uncover the m...
Aug 16, 2023•12 min•Season 2023Ep. 47
In this episode of After the Affair, join me Luke Shillings as I welcome divorce and custody attorney Heather O'Connor to share her personal journey and professional expertise. Heather discusses the challenges and emotional complexities of divorce, highlighting the importance of seeking guidance and support during this difficult process. She shares personal experiences, provides practical advice, and encourages listeners to prioritize their own happiness and well-being. Heather's inspiring story...
Aug 09, 2023•47 min•Season 2023Ep. 46
Stuck with the stench of your ex's lover? In this controversial episode of 'After the Affair,' I dive into the dirty laundry and explore how to cleanse your life of the lingering presence of the affair partner. Join me, Luke Shillings, as I share my story, tools and strategies to air out the fallout and reclaim your space, your peace, and your life. Let's go! Website: https://www.lifecoachluke.com Contact: luke@lifecoachluke.com...
Aug 02, 2023•21 min•Season 2023Ep. 45
In this episode of After the Affair, I'm joined by Jennifer Jehl. Jenn helps men create next-level confidence by discovering their deepest selves in order to live with freedom & fulfilment. She addresses the self-blame that many men experience after an affair. We speak about the impact of significant life changes on their sense of identity as husbands, family men, and fathers. Jenn shares her insights on the need for men to be physically strong and healthy while emphasizing the importance of...
Jul 26, 2023•41 min•Season 2023Ep. 44
In this week's episode, I look into the intricate ways people process emotions, influenced by their unique experiences, upbringing, and societal expectations. Emphasizing the common patterns of emotional avoidance and the search for external validation, I dissect these methods, illustrating how they prevent genuine emotional processing and prevent us from getting what we want. Considering some of my own experiences, such as bankruptcy, divorce, and health crises, to underscore the importance of ...
Jul 19, 2023•13 min•Season 2023Ep. 43
In this episode, I have the pleasure of speaking with Furkhan Dandia. Furkhan is a therapist, author, speaker and coach. After going through adversity and working in the corporate world as an Engineer for many years, Furkhan decided to pivot and pursue a Master's in Psychology. He is passionate about making a difference in people’s lives and working with them to find their purpose. Going through a divorce made him realise how much shame there is for men around failure. That further motivated him...
Jul 12, 2023•46 min•Season 2023Ep. 42
In the latest episode of "The After the Affair", join me as I navigate the treacherous waters of sudden change post-infidelity. This change can leave us feeling disoriented and desperate for control, but what if we changed our perspective? What if we chose to view this alteration not as a disastrous upheaval but as a challenging opportunity for personal growth and self-discovery? As I venture into these deep waters, I’ll discuss the importance of reframing mindset, and learning to accept change,...
Jul 05, 2023•12 min•Season 2023Ep. 41
When we see things that aren't right in our relationships and have no idea how to fix them ... the easiest thing to do is look around and see what everyone else is doing. We spend most of our lives trying to figure stuff out by comparison. The problem with this is, 'comparison is the thief of joy'. We are left feeling like we aren't good enough, or our partners aren't good enough. If only they would change and everything would be ok! Join me today in a fascinating conversation with Master Certif...
Jun 28, 2023•47 min•Season 2023Ep. 40
In the aftermath of an affair, the path to healing is often paved with self-reflection and inner exploration. Join me as I delve into the depths of what I call "EmpathMe", a concept that shines a light on the darker side of self-empathy. In this podcast episode, I explore the complexities of navigating the aftermath of betrayal, revealing the challenges and breakthroughs that come with self-understanding. I uncover the intricacies of "EmpathMe" and its role in post-affair healing. Join me on thi...
Jun 21, 2023•14 min•Season 2023Ep. 39
In this captivating podcast episode, join me for a breakthrough conversation with the brilliant creator behind the relationship card game, 'Better Topics'. Discover how this innovative game is revolutionizing communication within couples and fostering stronger connections. Through thought-provoking questions, exciting challenges, and rewarding experiences, the game serves as a catalyst for meaningful discussions and deeper connections. My guest Diana Maria Indries, will delve into the inspiratio...
Jun 14, 2023•57 min•Season 2023Ep. 38
Explore the intricate layers of personal identity in this captivating episode of "Identity - Who am I now?" Join me as I navigate the complex interplay of culture, introspection, and major life events that shape who we are. As I share some of my own stories, I'll take a closer look at what creates our self-perception. I aim to help you reflect on my own identity, gain valuable insights, and embrace the ever-changing nature of self-discovery. Join me on this thought-provoking journey to answer th...
Jun 07, 2023•19 min•Season 2023Ep. 37
Join me in a fascinating discussion with Tamika Carlton about what Data Tells Us About Couples Retreats & Why It Matters (aka what happens when science + love combine). It’s more than just intimacy, partnership, or even challenges. Data shows the impact of relationships on our lives, and a study published by the U.S. Travel Association found that seven in 10 couples who travel together say talking and reconnecting is an important reason to spend time alone together while on vacation. Tamika ...
May 31, 2023•45 min•Season 2023Ep. 36
Reject Compromise: Rethinking Resolution in Relationships challenges conventional wisdom around conflict resolution, focusing specifically on the concept of compromise. In this thought-provoking episode, I explore alternative ways of addressing disagreements that promote mutual understanding and satisfy both parties' core needs, proving that compromising isn't always the best route to harmony. Tune in to learn strategies that foster healthier and more fulfilling relationships without the baggage...
May 23, 2023•19 min•Season 2023Ep. 35
Resentment and bitterness are common feelings after you have been betrayed. They are easy to justify and really seem to help alleviate all responsibility. In this episode, you'll learn how these two emotions are closely related to your own self-trust, what potential pitfalls that can cause, and how to do something about it. Got a question? Send it to luke@lifecoachluke.com Want to have a chat and see how I can help? Visit: www.lifecoachluke.com and schedule a free call....
May 17, 2023•14 min•Season 2023Ep. 34
Join me in this episode as I explore the lesser-known world of Quantum Energy Healing with Forgiveness expert, Nicole Harvick. She believes all healing must start with Self-Forgiveness. Some of the modalities that she uses in her healing practice include Reiki, Sound Therapy, Cellular Memory Healing, and Mild Hypnosis. She can pinpoint stuck energies from ancestral or childhood trauma which need to be identified and released to facilitate the healing process. Nicole has always been in communicat...
May 10, 2023•44 min•Season 2019Ep. 33
When you have witnessed behaviour in your partner that you don't like, how regularly do you use that as a template to judge many of their future behaviours? This episode focuses on exploring the impact of negative thinking on our lives and relationships. I share a story of self-judgement and I examine the role of negativity in relationships and offer strategies for cultivating a more positive outlook. It also emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and self-care for personal growth and happi...
May 03, 2023•20 min•Season 2023Ep. 32
Taking responsibility is a message we hear more and more, but where do we start? In this episode, I look at some of the methods I have used personally to improve my own self-awareness and what the true benefits of each are. Also included is a short but effective grounding exercise you can use today (Just not whilst you are driving!) To learn more about me and how I can help, visit www.lifecoachluke.com or reach out to me directly at luke@lifecoachluke.com...
Apr 26, 2023•20 min•Season 2023Ep. 31
Join me whilst I delve into the dark side of technology and its impact on infidelity. With the rise of social media, dating apps, and messaging platforms, it has become easier than ever to connect with people outside of committed relationships. But at what cost? I explore the way in which technology is facilitating infidelity, from secret social media accounts to encrypted messaging apps and the effects this trend has on relationships and individuals. Whether you're in a committed relationship o...
Apr 19, 2023•38 min•Season 2021Ep. 30
Feeling love towards others is a choice that we often overlook. Choosing negative thoughts and emotions towards people who do not meet our expectations only hurts us, and it is crucial to understand that we have control over how we feel towards someone else. In this episode, I share an example of how we can choose to love someone regardless of what they do or do not do, and any feeling is always available to us. Choose love, unconditionally. Find out more at https://linktr.ee/lifecoachluke Conta...
Apr 12, 2023•16 min•Season 2023Ep. 29
In this episode, I explore the common cycles of pain and mistrust that often accompany healing from infidelity. Cycles and patterns show up in many different ways and often they are unintended. Through personal stories and expert insights, I discuss strategies for breaking free from these cycles and rebuilding trust in yourself and your relationships. Contact: luke@lifecoachluke.com Learn more: https://linktr.ee/lifecoachluke...
Apr 06, 2023•17 min•Season 2023Ep. 28
