From babyhood to school age, through the teenage years and ultimately adulthood, Adoption: The Long View explores all aspects of the adoption journey with a variety of articulate and thought-provoking guests.
It’s December of 2024, which means we're bringing you the 5th -- and last -- Best Of advice. The first part of this episode is our traditional season-closing digest of best advice from all Season 5 guests, and the last part is a special musical treat from...
Have you ever noticed that -- much like Riley in Disney•Pixar's Inside Out series -- you have different parts? The Internal Family Systems (IFS) framework asserts that everybody consists of different parts. Our guest this month, Kathy Mackechney, LCSW, IFS...
When our adoptees are young, we cannot anticipate how and when they will process their adoptedness someday as adults. Such processing may not even be on our radar. For adoptees, figuring out their identity with the added layer of adoption, requires extr...
In a previous episode of Adoption: The Long View (ep505), an adoptee noted that her parents are the center of their adoption story just as she is the center of hers. It’s no big duh that the parents of an adoptee and the adoptee themself experience the s...
One of the myths of adoption is the now debunked “blank slate” theory that if you get your baby early enough, they won’t have experienced any trauma. And therefore, you won’t be raising a child with a trauma history, and you won’t be dealing with big,...
In this much anticipated episode, we resume our conversation with adoptee and adoption educator Torie DiMartile on adoption math that adoptees have to deal with, the worlds they must precariously straddle throughout their lives, the opposing emotions the...
We all know from 1st grade math that a half plus a half equals 1. But for adoptees, the math doesn’t always add up the way we think it will. At one time I thought that if I could just incorporate my children’s first families into ours, then Tessa and Re...
The moment you become a parent, time seems to stop and you can’t see beyond the sweet baby or toddler you have before you, looking up at you with those big eyes that say you are everything. Those days of full dependence on you feel like they may go on fore...
My new book Adoption Unfiltered, has three chapters in it devoted to religion and adoption, with my co-authors and I each researching and covering a chapter. Sara Easterly, an adoptee and a Christian, wrote about religion’s pain points for adoptees. Kelsey...
Early in my adoptive parenting days, when my kids were first becoming able to talk about their adoptedness and continuing through their adolescence, I was on alert for signs that adoption had hurt them. I’d been listening to adult adoptees and I knew that...
Welcome to Season 5 of Adoption: The Long View! This month's guest is someone I made a bad first impression on (in my own head, anyway) because of an assumption I made about her that turned out to be wrong. Adoptee and content creator Jennifer Dyan Ghost...
It’s December of 2023, which means that my new book, Adoption Unfiltered, written with Sara Easterly, an adoptee, and Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard, a birth parent, is finally available! The first part of this episode is our traditional season-closing digest...
This is a really special episode for me because not only am I the host, as I always am, I am also a guest. I’m so excited to announce on Adoption: The Long View, that within a month, a book I, along with my two guests, have spent the last 3 years envisio...
One of the distinctions we continually make here on Adoption: The Long View is the difference between "open adoption" and "openness in adoption." The former typically means having some sort of information about or contact with birth family, but the latte...
So many parents end up wishing they'd had a time machine to go back and know earlier what we didn’t know then about parenting, which is the whole premise of this podcast – to take the long view. With adoptive parenting, that wish can be even stronger, be...
Parenting a child of a race different from yours adds a whole new element to adoptive parenting. While this episode does focus on raising an interracial adoptee (also called a transracial adoptee), becoming more comfortable with talking about race is a w...
If you’ve been listening here long, you know that to believe that adoptive parenting is no different from regular old parenting will likely end up with you feeling blindsided some day, without tools and without strategies. This is because all adoptions...
One thing we know is that adoption comes out of a broken attachment, that the baby or child we parent has already lost something primal, that biological connection to the first mother, as well as the genetic connection to her and to the baby’s first fa...
Why are truth and trust so important in adoptive families? In all families, really? Isn’t it OK sometimes to keep some things under wraps, for someone’s own good? There's a philosophical paradox called sorites based on the idea that no grain of sand i...
Adoptive parenting has this in common with regular old parenting: just when you start to feel like you’ve mastered a stage, like babyhood, toddlerhood, tweenhood, or beyond, your child keeps growing and enters a new stage. And you’re back at square one...
There are very few people who have the multi-perspectives and lived experience in adoption that Rebecca Ricardo has. Rebecca joined her family through adoption – this means she is an adoptee. As a young teen she placed her son for adoption, embarking o...
As we wrap up 2022, we also wrap up Season 3. This year, we have heard from seven adoptees, one birth parent, four adoptive parents, two people who got OFF the adoption roller coaster, and two people in differing roles within their interracial families. We...
It’s National Adoption Awareness Month, and we can think of no better way to honor it than to listen to an adoptee, especially one who is also raising an adoptee. Our guest this month was adopted and grew up in the closed adoption era and is now an advoca...
Parenting is a Big Deal. But adoptive parenting? Well, that brings a whole other layer to plain old parenting. Add in a transracial element? Wrap another layer around an already wrapped Big Deal. Separation from original parents, no matter how necessary or...
Tony Hynes is an interracial adoptee whose adoption case reached the US Supreme Court in the 1990s. While his case was knocked down to a lower court, Tony Hynes’ adoption ended up in a rare arrangement – joint custody between his Black birth grandmother an...
It's estimated that there are between 40 and 100 families waiting for every available infant placement. The odds are not in everyone’s favor, and at least some of the people hoping to adopt a newborn will just not be able to. That’s a hard truth. What happ...
How we see ourselves as adoptive parents is intricately tied with how we see our children via adoption, and ultimately how they see themselves. Seemingly heroic narratives like “saving a child” and seemingly innocuous ones like “we were meant to be togethe...
Like the ancient tale of the Six Blind Men and the Elephant, adoption is fertile ground for people "knowing" about it while experiencing only a fraction of it. From our limited experience we start to think we have a handle on it and we know the truth about...
It’s normal -- celebrated even -- to wonder about and ask ourselves "Who am I?" After all, genealogy is cited as one of the top hobbies people have. There are TV shows with names like Finding Your Roots, Long Lost Family, and Who Do You Think You Are? help...
We talk often on this show about attunement in adoptive parenting, which is the process of intuiting in the moment what your child needs from you. The first step is to understand as best you can the perspective of an adoptee. You won’t get this from listen...
