We’re coming to our summer break! What better note to end on than this encouraging episode with Dr. Liz DeBetta. Liz has been on the podcast before and shared her story of coming to her late thirties before examining the impact adoption had on her life. Today though we are strictly diving into one of her areas of expertise which is using writing as a tool for healing. Writing is accessible, it has physical, emotional, and mental health benefits. Writing can help us create a new narrative for our...
Jun 11, 2021•58 min•Ep. 187
I’m honoured to introduce you to my new friend Megan Culhane Galbraith today. Megan’s brand new book, The Guild of the Infant Saviour, is out in the world and is getting rave reviews, especially from fellow adoptees. Today we talk about the challenges of building a relationship after the first moments of reunion are finally realized. Megan shares how she views the patterns of silencing adoptees from childhood into our adulthood. Did you know there used to be a program at Cornell that used “pract...
Jun 04, 2021•1 hr 12 min•Ep. 186
Today I’m excited to introduce you to Lora K. Joy. Lora tells us she always knew she didn’t fit in with her adoptive parents, and that she made promises to herself that she would do things differently. Lora recounts a transformative moment where she grieved her adoption loss that intrinsically changed her forever. We also unpack some of the things that lead to her decision to become estranged from her adoptive parents and how she maintains her protective boundary. Full Show Notes Here Show Notes...
May 28, 2021•1 hr 3 min•Ep. 185
Today Sharon Stein McNamara, Ed.D. is with us, sharing some of her personal story intermingled with her expertise as a psychologist. Ever wonder if therapists and psychologists are being taught about relinquishment trauma? Have you heard of how helpful Dialectical Behaviour Therapy can be for adopted people? Sharon even reveals the surprising impact reunion had on her romantic relationships. Full Show Notes Here Show Notes Recommended Resources When There Are No Words: Repairing Early Trauma and...
May 21, 2021•47 min•Ep. 184
I’m happy to introduce Paul Kimball to you today. Paul shares his story of search and reunion and how the joy of music intertwined him with his first mother. Paul shares deeply with us about his grief from both rejection and death. Family, music, and nature have brought so much delight into Paul’s life, he challenges us to make sure we’re choosing to experience all life has to give and not get stuck in the hard things. Full Show Notes Here Show Notes Recommended Resources We are all Human Beings...
May 14, 2021•1 hr 16 min•Ep. 183
I am excited to introduce you to Gregory Luce today, the attorney behind Adoptee Rights Law. We get to hear some of Greg’s personal story today, including the five-year court battle it took for him to receive his records. We talk about some of the typical arguments adoptee activists hear from legislators against original birth certificate access and what impact DNA testing access has had on OBC legislation. Greg also challenges us to make sure we’re listening to all adoptee voices. Greg is a law...
May 07, 2021•55 min•Ep. 183
Marta Isabella Sierra, LMHC, is back this week! We are still talking about estrangement and today looking at the question - is loyalty a trauma response? Marta teaches us about “fawning” and that many of us will choose to be loyal to others before ourselves. Full Show Notes Here Recommended Resources Marta’s first appearance on the podcast was episode 69 which teaches about the Internal Family Systems model and why it’s helpful for adopted people. (Other episodes featuring Marta: 71 , 134 , 135 ...
Apr 30, 2021•32 min•Ep. 181
Marta Isabella Sierra, LMHC, one of our favourite adoptee therapists is back on the podcast today! We are talking about estrangement through the lens of the Internal Family Systems therapy model. Marta teaches us how to listen to our parts’ needs and prioritize the safety of our own identity above preserving relationships. Full Show Notes Here Connect With Us Marta Isabella Sierra, LMHC: martasierralmhc [at] gmail [dot] com | martadrachenberglmhc.com Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook A...
Apr 23, 2021•29 min•Ep. 180
I’m thrilled Shannon Gibney, writer and activist is here! Shannon shares some of her personal story and how she’s observed adoptee voices reaching critical mass over the last fifteen years. Since her first novel, See No Color, was released 6 years ago, she’s heard from many younger adoptees who’ve felt seen and validated by reading her words. Shannon recounts how her experience of grief in motherhood and the adoptee experience intertwined, and how she’s modelled truth-telling, even the difficult...
Apr 16, 2021•47 min•Ep. 179
Ferera Swan is here to share her experiences of reunion and secondary rejection with us. We talk about the impact other members of the extended family can have on our reunions, and Ferera tells us about the meaning behind her name and what her producer encouraged to include in her song “Second Time”. Full Show Notes Here Connect With Us Ferera Swan: www.fereraswan.com | Instagram | SoundCloud | YouTube | Spotify | Indigo+Swan Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook Adoptees On: Twitter | Ins...
Apr 09, 2021•51 min•Ep. 178
Dr. Chaitra Wirta-Leiker is with us today and she is teaching us about internalized oppression. She tells us why she finds the term “coming out of the fog” somewhat problematic. If you’ve ever found yourself self-sabotaging, Dr. Wirta-Leiker explains this could actually be a form of self-protection. She leads us with the adoptee-first lens, keeping our mental health and well-being the top priority even when we may prioritize teaching others instead. Full Show Notes Here Find Dr. Chaitra Wirta-Le...
Apr 02, 2021•40 min•Ep. 177
I get to interview some incredibly special people on the show, and today is a perfect example. I am thrilled to introduce you to Miguel Caballero. Miguel shares some of his story with us including how he got sober eight years ago. There are so many adopted people who struggle with addiction, and Miguel describes feeling that he had a birth-mother-shaped hole to fill. He’s gone on to fill a great need in our community by starting the peer-led support group Adoptees and Addiction. Full Show Notes ...
Mar 26, 2021•49 min•Ep. 176
I am honoured to be able to bring you part two of Justin’s story today. Justin shares about a desire to add back his original surname and here in part two we’ll see the fallout. We speculate on what about our experiences as adopted people lets us accept poor treatment that we would never allow towards those we love. Ultimately a world-shifting event in Justin’s immediate family brings clarity to his relationship with his adoptive family. *TW: Suicide Full Show Notes Here Show Notes Recommended R...
Mar 19, 2021•42 min•Ep. 175
I am honoured to be able to bring you Justin’s story today (this is part one, and we’ll be back next week with part two). Justin was labelled “difficult to adopt” because he is bi-racial. He tells us that he never had an interest in finding his biological family until he attended a very interesting week-long therapeutic workshop. Justin shares about a desire to add back his original surname and in part two we’ll see more of the fallout from that decision. *TW: Suicide Full Show Notes Here Show N...
Mar 12, 2021•39 min•Ep. 174
Part two! We are back with more VERY real talk with Pam Cordano, MFT about estrangement from our adoptive parents. Pam teaches us how important it is for us to get clarity on what is actually possible in our relationships. We also address if they won’t change, it’s up to us - so what are we willing to change? Our amount of engagement in the relationship? The strength of our boundaries? Which ‘circle’ do they safely get to have access to? This is tough stuff! Thank you for listening and walking t...
Mar 05, 2021•31 min•Ep. 173
Pam Cordano, MFT returns to guide us through some thoughts on estrangement. Why does it ever get to the point that we’d consider going no-contact with our adoptive parents? Are adoptees just “too sensitive” and take everything personally? Even through challenging topics such as this one, Pam leads us with thoughtfulness, compassion, and helps us discover what’s most important. Full Show Notes Here Connect With Us Pam Cordano, MFT: pamcordano.com | yourmeaningful.life | Twitter | Instagram | Emai...
Feb 26, 2021•38 min•Ep. 172
Dr. Susan Branco is with us today and she is a force for good in our community. She shares an overview of her story and we get a chance to deeply focus on topics that she’s done an incredible amount of work and research on. Her research includes how counselors of colour deal with client microaggressions and ensuring adoption themes make their way into the core curriculum for future social workers and therapists. Dr. Branco shares more with us about her case study of the Colombian Adoption House ...
Feb 19, 2021•54 min•Ep. 171
Alice Stephens, the author of Famous Adopted People, joins us today! I was honoured to hear her describe her childhood which included years in Botswana, and she even shares a bit about her search in Korea for biological family. Of course, we talk about writing, publishing, and her book reviews; if you ever need a book recommendation for an adoptee-centric look at adoption, Alice is an expert. Full Show Notes Here Connect With Us Alice Stephens: www.famousadoptedpeople.com | Twitter | Instagram |...
Feb 12, 2021•52 min•Ep. 170
Today I get to introduce you to Leigh Bailey. This is the second episode of our estrangement series. Leigh shares about her reunion and how it started to be about her adoptive family’s experience instead of her own. We talk about how trying to put up safe boundaries can be exhausting, and how do you even decide if estrangement is called for in the situation: spoiler alert - we can’t tell you what’s right for you! Full Show Notes Here Connect With Us Leigh Bailey: alwayslooking.blog | Instagram |...
Feb 05, 2021•56 min•Ep. 169
We are starting a short series on the topic of estrangement. This series isn’t meant to be a how-to undo estrangement or a “break up with your family” guide, it’s once again brought to you in the spirit of hoping to let you know you aren’t alone. I see you, and I acknowledge how hard and lonely this can be. Today we’re going to hear from Kirsten Weatherford about how a memorable trip - a pilgrimage - helped Kirsten come out of the fog. Did reunion with her first mother accelerate her estrangemen...
Jan 29, 2021•54 min•Ep. 168
We’re back! For the first episode of 2021, we are talking adoptees in comics! Emily N. Bartz shares her personal story of being adopted from the Philippines, and then why she spent her childhood going back and forth between the US and her country of origin. We have a fascinating discussion about adoptees in comics, including a focus on her article about “Loki: I Can Turn into anything as long as it’s me”. We also talk about adoptees in academics and how much is available for us to learn from aca...
Jan 22, 2021•1 hr 3 min•Ep. 167
The holiday season is here and that means we get to ask one of our favourite adoptee therapists, Lesli A. Johnson, MFT, your questions! We can be juggling multiple families, boundary issues, estrangement and loneliness, not to mention the global pandemic. Lesli and Haley talk through some challenging situations and try to help you figure out what YOU want out of this season. Full Show Notes Here Show Notes Recommended Resources Check out Lesli’s other holiday-themed episodes of Adoptees On: Surv...
Dec 11, 2020•44 min•Ep. 166
Before I recorded this show, my guest shared her notes with me and I asked, “are you SURE you want to share this publicly on my podcast? It’s a goldmine of information about DNA!” Janet Weinreich-Keall is back, and when you hear her story, you’ll know why she’s a pro at searching. She walks us through how we should prepare to search, and then we dive into what DNA testing looks like, and how far the tech has come: making it easy and accessible for us to do our own searches. We also talk about th...
Dec 04, 2020•1 hr 17 min•Ep. 165
Today we’re giving you a little peek behind the curtain! Haley and Carrie chat all about what they’ve learned from reading a ton of adoptee-authored books in 2020. We’re announcing our book club plans for 2021 and would love to have you join us. We’re in the last few days of our sale for Patreon memberships! Sign up for one year and get a month free! http://www.adopteeson.com/partner Our sale ends on November 30, 2020. Full Show Notes Here Connect With Us Carrie Cahill Mulligan: ccmhats.square.s...
Nov 27, 2020•49 min•Ep. 164
Have you ever wondered what being welcomed into your original extended family would feel like? Today Maeve Kelly is back and she shares her experiences of a whirlwind trip to Ireland to meet more cousins and aunts and uncles than you can imagine. After a rejection from her first mother, to be embraced by a cousin was transformative. Two weeks left in the sale for Patreon memberships! Sign up for one year and get a month free! http://www.adopteeson.com/partner Full Show Notes Here Connect With Us...
Nov 20, 2020•57 min•Ep. 163
Pam Cordano, MFT and I discuss anger. What is it and why are so many adoptees accused of being “angry adoptees”? We discuss the reasons we have for legitimately being angry. Pamela teaches us about different types of anger and gives us some practical exercises to work on. I find out I’ve been engaging in Spiritual Bypass, and why that is so toxic. Anger is a powerful emotion, let’s harness it to make it work for us, and not against us. Announcing a three-week sale for Patreon memberships! Sign u...
Nov 13, 2020•56 min•Ep. 162
Today I’m honoured to introduce you to Bernie, a late discovery adoptee who has been working the past two years to learn about birth trauma and adoption trauma. Bernie and I talk about how he confirmed he was adopted, what patterns and challenges he had through his life that now he attributes to birth trauma, and what happens when the ‘validators’ of our memories are lost. Full Show Notes Here Connect With Us Bernie: adopteebernie (at) comcast.net Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook Adop...
Nov 06, 2020•49 min•Ep. 161
Join us today, October 30, 2020, to remember adoptees we’ve lost, to acknowledge adoption trauma, and to highlight other pressing issues adoptees face. Our listeners share tributes to those they’ve lost, some share how adoption has impacted them personally, and you are invited to join us in a collective moment of silence to honour adopted people. Show Notes Recommended Resources Adoptee Remembrance Day - October 30, 2020 What is Adoptee Remembrance Day? Adoptee Remembrance Day Facebook Page RSVP...
Oct 30, 2020•23 min•Ep. 160
Today we will learn about an upcoming day that I think will become critically important to the adoptee community: we are talking with Pamela Karanova about ways to commemorate the first annual Adoptee Remembrance Day. Please join us on October 30, 2020 to honour adoptees we’ve lost, to acknowledge adoption trauma, and to highlight other pressing issues adoptees face. Full Show Notes Here Subscribe Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | iHeart Radio | Spotify | Stitcher | YouTube Support Adoptees On ...
Oct 23, 2020•35 min•Ep. 159
Today we are talking with Amanda Medina, creator of This Adoptee Life. Amanda tells us about how she came out of the adoption fog during the past few years, she shares what adoption separation from our ancestors looks like via a beautiful and heartbreaking symbol of a broken legacy, and we discuss her commitment to building community among adoptees. Full Show Notes Here Connect With Us Amanda Medina: thisadopteelife.com | Twitter | Instagram | Facebook | YouTube Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram ...
Oct 16, 2020•51 min•Ep. 158
