¶ ADHd20 s03e02
Money, money, money.
You wanna a podcast?
Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's stop making weird noises and just. Joe's Cafe,
New year, same host. same shenanigans.
Oh this is, this is officially the first episode back in 2024 because we recorded episode 1, in 2023.
Hello everybody!,
Hi everybody, welcome to the new year.
We're
We're taking this whole time blindness thing to a new level.
Yeah, not only are we taking time blindness, so let's talk you through, dear listener, dear viewer, what happened in the, in the minutes leading up to this here recording sesh.
Yeah, go for it,
Uh, Matt asked me if we were going to record today. And I was like, nah. And then, and then the impulse gremlin crept up. I had an idea and without any fleshing out of it whatsoever, I was like, yeah, let's, let's run with that. That feels good. That great. And now here we are recording.
Yeah. And it was inspiring because I, I wrote down a whole three pages of stuff. Just, just brainstorming.
So, I guess first and foremost, welcome to Season Three of ADHd20, the
wow!
that finds the intersection between ADHD
and TTRPGs.
I guess that answers that we're not coming with a new tagline
No, I guess not. Hey, why fix it when it's
It ain't broken? It ain't
broke. If it isn't broken.
Um, so, so here was the thought, the darling thought that led to like, a, yeah, let's hop on the mics and see if we can record a podcast. Um, I have been feeling overwhelmed. Uh. I mean, since the day I was born, but this like, and you and I were kind of commiserating about that, uh, just last week about just kind of, like, feeling a little bit behind, like, we just haven't gotten into the flow of 2024 yet. And then, you know, a lot of times this podcast, we, we share our success stories.
We share all the things that went right for us, which is fantastic, and can be helpful and should be celebrated, when we get right, yeah. But maybe it would be equally inspiring for our dear listeners to share the journey of both failure and success, wah, wah wah wah wah wah. Exactly.
In a sound bite. In a soundbite. in a sound bite.
Did I, did I over explain something that could have been a soundbite?
Would this be this podcast if we didn't? That is exactly what we're going to talk about today is, and it's not even about necessarily, you know, New Year's resolutions. It's not even about that because we're, we're way we're way evolved past that. We are, we don't, we don't mess with that anymore. This is just, we started the year, yeah! And we are just, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, that, yeah. But we should probably get ourselves psyched up. By doing the d100 table, the d100
Does that, does that mean we're off to a weird start? Does that mean you have it pulled up?
I do,
I don't have it pulled up.
Well then you get to roll first and I get to tell you what you roll, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl.
think that I'll roll with some Chimerical my longest playing character, and these dice were a gift to me right when we started campaign from our good friend Matt Williams. Great name, great human. We love all of the Matthews here. How about 90?
How about 90? Alright. What is the most unusual D&D object you have found, received, bought, in game?
Oh, man, we had some bangers in our first, uh, in our first campaign Jeff our DM really kind of went out of his way to find some fantastic uh magic items for us. And I will admit that, know, since then haven't had as many magic items. That's just not something we focus on, right?
Right. No, Let's, let's, let's say that correctly. It's not something that your current DM, me focuses on that much. And I just forget about it. I just forget. But
yeah. Um, yeah. So I will, I will, my most memorable magic item, uh, from that campaign to the Yeah, I will, I will, my most memorable magic item from that campaign I I want to play with it more. It was called The Ring of the Grammarian, and it allowed me to change a spell's by one letter, either taking away or adding a letter, and and therefore having the spell do something different.
For instance, I I think one time there's cantrip of Frost, And instead I I cast of Frose, uh, and just blasted my opponent with an icy stream of of frozen rose. Um, just, I love, I love a shenanigan, uh, if that's not completely apparent, so I loved the, the chaos of me just rearranging
letters. Yeah, That was, that was particularly fun. Now we should give credit to the Adventure Zone gentlemen. That, uh, you know, came up with that idea, but it was, it was really, really fun. I like that one too. Maybe it
That was a favorite. What about you?
Ah, let's see. Yeah, I guess, I guess we're very lucky because we had Jeff as a, as a DM back in the day and, and he really loved the Adventure Zone and, and ran us through this so there were just too many great things but I remember there was a, I want to say it was like a little ornery doll.
The gnome that would spring to life Yes. and unlock doors and also tell what we did wrong in the the most recent encounter.
He could, he could, he could cast the Knock spell, would open most doors, but while he was doing it, yes, he had to, he had to tell us everything that we were doing wrong. That was
Which I I think was just Jeff's device.
Maybe it was.
To beat up on us.
on Well, yes, that's, I mean, it was chosen for that reason, for sure. Yeah. Anyway, it was really fun, and I remember I just, Jeff's really good at that kind of wacky stuff. He's really good at that stuff. I I do, I I, as a as a game master myself, I do not have that level of like wackiness on top of a
Mm
general Mm-Hmm. thing. I could learn a lesson or two there. Mm
It's interesting because I was actually just thinking last night, I I remember when we Tey on in season one as a guest and Tey dropped that juicy bit of knowledge of it's a GM's job to just be the like we process what the party gives us.
Um, and he had had used it, uh, we were talking at that time about my familiar, and in a, that was a party in where a lot of people had familiars or some of sidekick, and I I just never really used mine, and, and, and Tey, like, in the, it was not a call very polite, but it it was important to know that, like, as a GM, and I think, I think when he told us this, I hadn't GM'd that much, so I didn't appreciate it as much, as now that that I have GMed, like, you, have so many things going on.
And especially of us us who are neuro spicy, like, how can you manage all that? Matt, how can you you be expected to manage the wacky magic items and just everything in game that we throw your way, and the story, and like, and the lore, and those of you who who can do it, man, teach us how, but no shame and. the the learning
Yeah, I think, I think, um, I think the answer is just to do it over and over and over and over until it's easier.
Mm hmm.
Yeah.
Mm hmm.
Mm-Hmm. like riding a bike and chewing gum and doing your taxes all at the same time.
So,
Not that you would want to do any of those
About to say two of of those three things. Uh, I know for a fact you hate, so. Lemme come up
with some better It's like riding a bike, which is kind of fun, and
Eating a a popsicle.
a popsicle, especially like the chocolate ones, like those weird gooey chocolatey ones.
Fruity, man!
Yeah, not for me, I haven't had one in decades, but that weird, gummy, chalky, chocolate ones on a hot day. And,
Calling your mom?
Calling your mom. There that's third and calling your mom the same time. Perfect.
Yeah, it is. lot. Maybe this, that be year's journey. You we don't do resolutions, but
We don't do resolutions.
But we, we choose words that are meaningful to us, and we we set intentions on this here podcast. So maybe, That can be be an intention that you both you and I set as Game Masters, is more attention to synthesizing our players' experiences through everything that they show us and even more imagination on our parts.
Yes, I love it. I really do. I love it a lot. And, you know, that's a good segue, I believe, into our topic today because the strange thing about this year is unlike last year, where we came in, and I came in, and I said, I want this and this and this to be my theme, I want, I want more community, I want more playing games, I want this, and I want to, you know, know, yeah. and and all of those things just click, click, clicked last year.
And so all I wanted the beginning of this year is the same, but more. I just want more of the more, right, because I, I was gifted so kindly last year of all of those things. And so yeah, it is how, how frustrating it is. So the way that I likened it, uh, personally, and I'd love, love to hear your take on how you, you comparatively try to, you know, shoehorn it into the concept of a TTRPG. Is that you're a spellcaster, particularly, uh, in 5e rules.
I guess it would be a cleric and a druid because you, you can, at every long rest, you can change up your spells, right? The idea of needing to prepare your spells for a given day, week, jaunt, encounter, etc.
hmm. Interesting.
And you think, okay, I've got this and this and this and this. I'm all ready to go. I've got like all the fire spells because we're in a tundra, right? We're in a tundra and we're going cave diving in, in a snowy cave. I'm gonna load up on all the fire spells I've got. I know what I'm doing, right? I've got this. In the bag, get into the cave, keep going down, down, down, well, it gets warmer and warmer because the cave is extremely long and it's just, it just goes down and down and down.
Warmer, warmer, you know, you're getting all hot and bothered and you run into like a full on pit demon from hell who is immune to every single one of your fire of your fire spells.
Mm
Like, fire damage does not, is zero.
Mm
Full immunity to fire damage, and you just kind of feel what Yep. It's just like what? What? And
What?
This is a problem that I have sometimes with 5e, but that feeling that you get when you fail in a constitution save or an intelligence save or you fail an insight check or a survival check and it doesn't even matter that you have this incredible uh, sword that dances and sings show tunes and, you
My kind of sword!
Yes, luck be a lady tonight! Tra la la la la be a la you know, uh, it doesn't matter that you have these things, you still kind of feel I feel like that's where we are right now, does that does that sum it up or, or,
I love that. It, so, I mean, I, I see no reason to try and improve upon what was already just a really great always mix is it a simile, an analogy, a metaphor, you you know? Um metaphor, Metaphor. No,
Analogy. Analogy. Let's go
it was an I think I like analogy. Um, you know, know, and you nailed it as far as like the daily choice of spells and like, this is this is what we're packing. The only only other thing I can and this is interesting because you're thinking coming up with an analogy as a Campaign DM.
Hmm. Yeah,
So I will come come up with an analogy for you as a one shot DM, where everything is a little bit more like siloed into individual quests, you know, versus the long haul. It kind of is like when you have a martial player, also interesting that I'm choosing martial for for something and not caster for something...ooo, weird
Mm-Hmm.
Weird. Um, when you have a martial player who has clearly, like, like, spent their background, their story becoming the the best at what they they have practiced, they have strength, they have precision, they have dexterity and constitution and all these things, and they come they come up a big bad against whom non non magical weapons simply do not work.
Yeah. What we're talking, we just need some magic, what we're talking about for, for. For those of you listening that the last five minutes made zero sense to you, we're just talking about spinning wheels. We're just talking about, like, having all the tools right there. are Literally every tool that you could, that you could possibly need to be prepared. You know what you're thinking about. You, you're excited. You, you're excited about the work that you're doing.
It's not like, it's not like you don't want to do it. You. In fact, I want to do it more than I've ever wanted to do most things, and yet I'm still like, like, I just can't latch on and rock. I just can't. And I've had plenty of times last year where I was. I was. Latching on and rocking.
Uh huh.
That is such a weird why am I keep saying latching on and
And
rocking. And rocking. Those don't well together. together. Latching on to what?? Anyway, uh, plugging in and rocking? How about that one? Plugging in and rocking.
Yeah. I can't can't even get my amp in the door. least you're at the phase where you're where you're trying to plug it in.
I am, so hard and I just I just can't I'm I am surviving. That's all I'm doing I'm not like flourishing and and and I'm I'm getting tired of it. Now look, we can blame the Midwestern winter
Oh, sure. I can't.
I mean you I can do that you you can blame bad news that you've gotten recently. You can, there's lots of things can throw you off your game. And of course where this is gonna be one of those podcasts where we will not have an answer, but it also is a podcast for those of you who don't have ADHD because this is certainly not a trait that is specific to our brains, brains, but we just wanted to talk about it. So what do we, what do we do? How do we get our groove back? How do we plug in and rock?
well, Well, that's part, Matt. Matt, I I, I almost wonder if there way for us right here on today's episode to kind kind of show like, what are are the beginnings of our process is and how we're, because that's what people are always for, right? People always want to know, to know, like, but how, are you doing that? Like, but what what are you using? What are the specific, you know, you, we've talked a lot lot about
PKM!
Personal Knowledge Managers. And, you know, right right now we are in the process as a business, Bivins Brothers Creative, and also as creative organization, The Pocket Dimension, switching over to a new to some some of us PKM. And it's important work that we're doing building these Notion databases to house both both like our task management side and kind of of like the bird's eye view of everything we've got going on.
But right now now while it's getting built, that's lending to us feeling bit lost.
It is also lending, it is also lending to, to that. So, let me start it, let me start this section of the conversation by a word of warning. Uh, try not to futz with your, with your system. Try not to do that. I will say that, one thing I wanted to do at the beginning of the year, ironically, And as I say this out loud, I realize how truly foolish it sounds. I really wanted to simplify, actually. I wanted to, I wanted to really simplify because I was very much aware that I was futzing.
Last year in 2023, I fell in love with this, this, this, this, PKM, this,
It's so absurd to say it. say it. I am.
I'm
Mm I'm a PKM.
This, this, uh, this app, this really, really well designed app called Tana, uh, after, you know, skirting around all of these things to try to organize, I'm not going to be able to, I'm not gonna be able to do that. I will not, I will not permanently choose a tool that will ever completely satisfy me. It will not turn off the oo shiny. It will not. not, It's impossible, so I'm, I am, I am okay with that, but what I do love and what I do feel like I work really hard on is the system.
The system that, that allows me to think about organization and hierarchy and, and, and of course I, I kind of use TTRPG terms to help me get there and inspire me to work in it, right?
Well, let me let me let me take a little bit of the pressure off a couple of of years ago, and we've talked about this on the podcast before. As a group, we decided that we that we uh, like a project management to house all of our client data and, and give me as kind of the group project manager, again, it's like bird's bird's eye look, but then be able to kind of like dive deeper where I needed to, um, into task management beyond project management. We looked at Notion.
We may have even looked at Obsidian. We We looked at a bunch of different, um, options. And we did trial runs of Asana and of Monday and several others that are, you know, like base campy type type of, you corporate project management. Um, and at the time we decided collectively as a group that like, let's not try and build it. Let's find something that's the closest match to what we think need. And I'm not I'm not saying it was bad. It got the job done at the time.
It helped us grow in certain certain ways. So I'm not here to poo poo that we that we made. But I think there was always this like question in the back of our minds of like, but is it is it exactly what we need. Like, if we we built it, could we build it better. Because you know you know what you need more than that. So we are now are now kind of having to go back go back and do of bit of undoing and extra rework.
Because we didn't listen that litte voice, and we said, No, no, no, let's find like the closest approximation, rather than exactly what we want. And so now we're like, kind of at the end of last of last year, I kind of feel like we hit the walls and ceiling ceiling and, floor and everything else of what our selected platform was able to allow to allow us to do. And that's And that's when we all just kind of collectively said, let's just just move to Notion already.
And it's, and it's a great, it is a great, great tool. Everybody's heard of it now. I do like Notion. I could do a lot of what I'm already doing myself in Notion. I can move that over, which actually will be so great. I can, I won't have to try to balance things in my own set of tools. And I mean personal projects like like sell an old computer, that's the project, uh, but of course there are more tasks in there, right?
Like with ADHD you have to learn that it's, the task is not sell my computer, that's not a task,
Take pictures of my of my computer. Price
Take the
about, about it. Reply to comments. Settle on a, on a, on time to pick up or ship. Yeah
mhm,
Well, I mean, that's a perfect, example of where my head has been with with ADHd20 so year is that I love ADHd20. I I love having this podcast every every time we want to try and like get into we realize that it's not enough right now now to record an ADHd20 episode because we haven't. We're still in the process of making the calendar and defining the subtasks and for every episode that we put out. And Matt and I, by the way, by the way, we're not asking for sympathy here Like
no, no,
this is something that we love,
Oh, it's, it's, uh, it's our own torture.
yeah, but yeah, we, we have made the torturous things torturous, and nobody else. So I'm I'm curious, if we can just can just like, Pull down the the curtain for a and actually show ADHd20 listeners a little bit about the Notion databse, specific to how to how we've
¶ Marker: combined audio
TTRPG ified it.
I would, I would love that. And, and I will, I will also say that, In my own brain, because we love TTRPGs, that is where I put this, this hierarchy system in my brain. It makes, it actually makes more sense to me than some of the tried and true, very popular productivity methods, like the PARA method by Tiago Forte. PARA, stands for Projects, Areas, Resources, Archive.
And, and, and the idea, this is the part I took from him that I love so much, is that if you can just remember P A R A, and you have those folders, then they can be in Notion, on your computer, In your email, la de de, da da da da da. So you're not guessing where things go so much, right? The pro the I started to have problems though, conceptually, with the differences between projects and areas and resources. And I'm not asking for someone to explain it to me. I do actually get his system.
I've I've bought his books. I love his books. I love his I love him. He's great. He seems like a super Just, just great guy and, uh, I understand the concept but it just doesn't quite work for me and then there's other ones like Getting Things Done by David Allen, who has been around for, jeez, 20? 20? More. 20? No. They're probably going on 25, 30 years now.
He is, he is seen as sort of a, a true godfather of productivity and, and his, his thing is great for ADHD in that, it will not stay in your brain. Do not use your brain as, do not, do not expect your brain to remember things. Take it out. Take the idea out. Put it into Inbox or Inboxes and use that.
Uh, but I, I just, I'm just a hacker, I just can't, for whatever reason, it just doesn't quite click for me until I do it myself, so, I started last year putting together this system related to RPG terms, and this is the way it applies to us.
What I'm trying to do is is filter all of the things so that I can turn quote unquote turn on and off sections of all the things that we have to do so that I'm not I don't get up in the morning look at Notion or any other project task management and go and just close it and go play video games. That's what I'm trying to do. So I start off with realms. Uh, you and I are involved with three distinct realms. One of them is Bivins Brothers Creative, which is our digital design marketing firm.
Uh, so that is one realm. And then another realm, of course, is The Pocket Dimension, which includes this podcast. And then a third one for me is called CaptionPoint, where I, caption live theater performances for the deaf and hard of hearing. So So a project for Bivins Brothers is not the same thing as a project for the
¶ Audio switched to Full
Pocket Dimension, It's not the same thing as a captioning project, uh, with a theater CaptionPoint. They just don't, And I think for so long I was trying to put them all together and I couldn't do it. I just couldn't do it. Yeah. So I have a, we have a second level that I'm calling the campaign. So if you're in a realm, then the second level down is called the campaign.
And that was helpful to me because another really tricky thing is the difference between, ongoing projects and one off projects or, you know, campaigns and one shots, right? Like, I still don't know of a system that That really sets those boundaries for me personally. I haven't seen, I haven't read about it. and it's problematic to me because, because ADHd20 is a project, like you said, you just said, we have all these things we have to do.
Not only the things that you mentioned per episode, we also have just admin things, Becoming a business,
Tax forms!
Tax forms! All of it.
Chewing bubblegum, and riding a bicycle
And calling your mom.
and your mom
It's not just a one and done, so it does not fit in the just projects. It doesn't really fit in areas either, because areas are more like realms in Tiago's way You know, again, you can, you can make it work. The way that you need, and that's what I'm trying to do here. So we've got our session today is going to going to in the campaign of right. And then a layer down from that is the quest. Quests absolutely have ends. They have a beginning, and have they
We are on a quest right now
We're on a quest right this
This episode is a quest
Yes, we are in
You're part of our quest, as you're watching and listening to
Exactly!! Season 3, Episode 2 is the quest, uh, in the campaign of ADHd20, and, It will have an end, because we're recording now, and there's editing, and then there's all these other things that you mentioned. And each one of those things, this recording currently, is then the action. action that we're, it's a task, right? The task is record this episode. Yep. Uh, So, I broke it down into that.
We call them actions just because it's a 5e thing, but, you know, in a turn, you have different actions available to you. And because recording is not similar to editing, is not similar to writing, it felt like actions is good word that.
Yep.
And then the only other thing, the only other thing that I add is sort of like a satellite that's kind of related to these actions are encounters. And encounters are really just sort of meetings and events and other, you know, happenings.
So if we had, um, if we actually planned our episodes ahead of time instead of being gremlins who just are like, let's turn the mic on and see what happens. We, we might have an encounter related to the quest of season three, episode two, is what you're saying?
what That's I would say. Yeah, yeah. And so the best, you know, if you go to, again, if you go to YouTube and you look up someone like Thomas Frank Ali Abdaal or any of the the geniuses that, that spend a lot of time in Notion, uh, they're going to be able to sell you these beautiful templates they have worked so hard and it's got, it has formulas that have this really high level math, and it's all up to date, it really works well.
But again, templates don't for me because they're, they're always just a little bit too opinionated. we're finally getting to sort of the crux of this conversation, which is where I am right now with that building.
I know what the system because I've been using this system personally for most of last year, so I think that it's going to be great for all us, because all of us understand TTRPGs, all of all of us can, you know, conceptualize these, these thoughts and ideas, uh, so it, I think that it will all make sense, but it is the building, it is the putting together, I'm down to the, like, the, the, the adding of, of mortar? the Between Is that what you say? Why do I always Why do I always choose of
You know so much about so many things and you're like, lemme talk about engineering. Let me talk about sports. You do, you do have a knack for picking, damnit, picking the things that you're not Yeah, let's put in, put in like performance or music terms, you know, like we've, we've had the rehearsals, we've done the blocking,
Like we've got, blocking. So now we're
It's time to get off book Matt.
We have to get off We have to get off book. We have to not only get off book, but we, you know, we need to memorize, memorize our lines so that can start to really, like, internalize the character and really, move like the character would.
Wow. Taking me back, man. Taking me back.
And it is, it is a lot of work, and I, I want to be spending all time doing it, and, but like you said, it is so much like, it creates chaos instead of helps, because it's like when you move into a new house, or you need to redecorate your entire living room for whatever reason that you want to, and it's trashed for so
Yeah, we're not dopamining in our, in our Notion just yet. It is, it is instilling a level of panic and fear versus a dopamine boost. I mean, not to not to catastrophize my feelings or anything. I would never ever do that. But that's so and that was kind of what I wanted to talk about, though, today is that like, what is it? What can it be that can keep us going over that hump? Because all I want to do is give into the darkness at this you know, like,
¶ begins to unsync
This is hard for because yes, I do like tweaking and you, you are, I know that you're getting frustrated, which you should be, and honestly, I just, I just have to make it work.
We have been pairing, which is a really good thing, we've been, you and I've been, even if you have no input whatsoever, you just simply being on the other side of a screen or, or a, or a Slack huddle is, It's, it's everything that I need, because sometimes, you know, again, here it is, here's the crux, it's like, that needs to happen.
This is, this is the, like, I've referred to this time as the messy middle before, right? It's, it's that just. Everything is just, I love the analogy of the, the, the house you're moving into where you're just, you're convinced you're never going to be at home and settled again at some point. And then, and usually like, it's always darkest before the dawn though, right? Like it, it's in that moment of hopelessness that, that things then do start to come together. I am convinced always.
And, and it's like that with creating anything. But this part is also the unsexiest of them. And you and I are fueled by, like, when things are working and things are hopping and we're like, we're great. Like, you, you can't stop us. But keeping us motivated through the unsexy times where it's like, this is boring. This is arduous. This is grueling. Like, this is, you know, like all of these just, and that's what it is.
Like, as much as we love all of this, These little menial things like, stacking on top of each other and seemingly not making any sense. And it's like, okay, so to take things back into the theater analogy, you know, we have to get off book.
get off book
The last thing that I want to do, bring my friends down with I don't want you to see this before it's ready for you to see. However, the most helpful thing would be to have somebody to run lines with. Cause that's how you get into the patter of it. And all of us as actors have done this. We're like, no, I can do this on my own.
I mean, I, I used to spend hours like recording myself and, you know, like if I say it enough, but it's never, and it's one of those things like the efficiency of, I could spend six hours reading, re reading, saying, re saying, recording, or I could probably spend like an hour with a friend just running lines. Like as speedily as possible, and that's going to be the more, but I don't want to, I don't want to ask for that help.
I don't, I don't, I don't want to show this to somebody before it's ready. Um, so how do we, and so that's, I think that's important for friends who listen to this episode as ways to help us or other NeuroSpicy types in their life. We're not going to ask for the help. The end. Like, we can cut the episode off here.
So like, what are, what are the telltale signs that we're spinning and we're in the messy middle and that we're like, feeling some kind of way about this and not wanting to like, let anybody in? And let anybody like see our panic or our just, you know, I think I think, well, like I think about, you know, like, I don't know if I have any signs, but it makes, I was thinking the other day about social media. Mm and there was something that like I needed to post.
But I didn't want to put I didn't want to go through that because my house is a wreck right now. Shouldn't surprise my house is always a wreck, but it's like especially bad right now. And I just have not had the time nor desire to do anything about it. So it's like, I can't I can't do this because this is and then I was like, I had this thought of like, Why do, what if more people just showed their messy house?
Like, why as a society have we decided that you're only worthy of being in a, you know, reel on Instagram if it looks pristine? And, you know, I'm not somebody, there are people who get a lot of joy from minimalism. And that's, I just, I don't care. I just don't care. And people telling me I should care is what like causes the brain,
Yeah,
rather than me actually caring. Um, yeah. So I don't know, like, what are my telltale signs? Well, I share less. I snap inward more. So if you're, if you're not hearing from me or not seeing me, that could be a sign that I've, Homer Simpsoned into the bushes because I don't want anybody to see me struggle. Um,
yeah,
I'm just back there eating doughnuts, you know? Um.
¶ another out of sync
And that's, and that's another sign, isn't it? Like eating donuts when you know you shouldn't be eating doughnuts. Like, I take care, I take care of myself less, uh, I I definitely am like, yeah, whatever. I, I do play video games when I, shouldn't, you know? like I, um, I make bad decisions.
Yeah.
that's a sign, cause I'm trying to avoid, trying to escape. Mm hmm.
What else? What else? We're outing ourselves here. We're telling it, we're giving everybody the power to be like, ah, you're in the messy middle and you're floundering. And that's, I mean, that, that, that is truly, when we get to this part, we are. Floundering. And that's for me, that's the weird balance of my particular brand of ADHD, right? Is there's the side of me that does get really overstimulated. And the best way for me to get out of that is to detach.
mmhmm,
Is to like, that can be healthy for me to, but there does have to be some point where I then like, reemerge.
yeah,
And that's the problem, is I detach, I go away, and then I get too comfortable back there. I don't know, I didn't realize I did this until we started having this conversation, this is all news
no,
to me
That's really good. So, so my, I did, I did call up Brittany I can call her Brittany now, cause she's like one of us.
Y'all have met we've met her.
um, and, she said, one of the biggest problems is that you don't, you're, we're not trusting our gut Her I could go to the whiteboard in the next room. I could write down everything I have do, I could do it. It's in, it's in my head. I, I It's there. I'm now not trusting enough. I'm not trusting myself, trusting my gut to say, these are the things know be getting done, these are the things that should be getting Instead, I'm working on other things that shouldn't.
Instead, I'm, I just don't, I'm not trusting myself. I'm not trusting my gut feeling, no, no, you are right, you are right, just, just fight through it, keep going. If the tool itself is driving you away from it, then take a disposable piece of paper and disposable pen and put down write it down. what you have to get done until you get to the point where you trust yourself and you say, okay. That's, that is the truth. That's the truth right now.
Maybe not next week, maybe not in a month, right this minute, has and just do it. Uh, because the messy middle is so confusing for ADHD brains, because so many times, as we've said, it is absolutely filled with stuff we want to do.
Uh, I would, I would love to be able to charge, I'm I'm just announcing this right now, I would love very much to be able to charge my hourly fee to set people up with a customized Notion environment, Airtable environment, uh, Obsidian environment, I mean, Tana environment, you name it, that would be a dream job to me. I, I really love that work, I love the idea, but I'm in the middle of my own mess, and it's hard.
Well, that's the absurd part here, Matt, is that it, and you could for literally anybody. But yourself, like, I was having a very intuitive led conversation with my best friend a couple of days ago. She is in the process of Uh, just, she's got a lot of work stuff going on. I'll leave it there, right? And there were some, like, definite, like, pings that I was getting.
And I, like, she and I have the type of relationship where I could just, like, be totally honest with her and tell it to her whether she wants to hear it or not. To which her usual response is, I hate you, she says with a smile. Like, because she knows I'm right in that moment. She knows that I'm like, and she's like, how are you doing this? I'm like, let me be very clear. I could not do this for myself. We can't do these things for ourselves.
You could only like, because you have to have that perspective. So yes, I am fully convinced that tomorrow you could meet with anybody listening to this podcast, take down their requirements, exactly what they need, exactly what they've hated about every PKM before, exactly the way that they want to use it. You could probably even talk to them about that which interests the hell out of them. Like you love to and are good at doing.
And you could build them this completely custom database with little gentle nods to things that make them tick, if not TTRPGs, you could probably have it done by the end of this week.
week I probably could, I probably could, probably could,
I that That's been my overwhelming thought about myself all year long is like, I could do this for anybody else. Why? Why can I not just do it for myself? Maybe that's the lesson. Maybe that's the lesson, is there, at some point in all of our lives, there do just be things we be outsourcin'.
Yeah. Oh, yes,
I don't cut my own hair or color my own hair. That's true. I go to somebody else and have them do it. That's true. Could I put purple in my own hair? Probably. Would it look like it does what Emily does? Absolutely not. You know, like, because I'm not a professional at that thing. But like, I think, I think that's the, that's the, that is the hacky downside of our brains of like, we think we can fix and do a lot more
Mm hmm.
than maybe we can or should. Oh, no.
Oh, no. What are we going to do now?
What? Here's what we need. Okay. Okay, here's what we need. We need a NeuroSpice Exchange Program,
Mm hmm. Okay.
Where like, we just kind of figure out like, who's like, just like borrowing and sharing, you know, I'm really good at helping other people do things like write cover letters, write newsletters, like anything that they need to be able to like brag about something, but in a non totally gross way. I'm your girl. I will write that for you all day, every day. My friends know that I'm good at writing when it comes to anything with a slight marketing or selling bend, and they have me do that.
I don't want to touch a PivotTable. I don't want to touch a budget, so I go to them. When I need something done in Excel or Sheets or, like, Numbers Based, why don't we just do more
¶ another unsync
of that?
I mean, a lot of this comes down to money, right? A lot of this comes down to cost because I, it's a one two punch of well, I to do this and if and if I do it, then it it is, it does not cost any money. I don't mind paying people what they're worth. that's not a problem, but Maybe we have that money, maybe we have that money, And, if I have the ability to do it, that is, you know, that just seems silly. But, that is a dangerous place to be sometimes.
I like what you're suggesting, because if it was a barter system of, I don't know, What would you, you, you have a coupon book, This notion setup will guarantee you, uh, I know.
Well, let, let's, let's make this more universally applicable and we can, we can go offline and talk specifically about how, like, we're going to put this into play. But I would say for those listening to this right now who have hit the messy middle, who have realized that things aren't moving forward in the direction that they want to, or they're watching one of their loved ones spin out the way that we have confessed to doing.
Think through the people in your life and joys, because I have friends who love organizing stuff. I bet I could call any one of these friends who love organizing and say, this is my closet room. And then I bet there is something in their life that they have been putting off that I could be like, can I run these errands for you because I love driving around in my car. Or can I, you know, like, can I, you know, put together a list of books for you?
I'm thinking about, my friends, specifically have, like, a spreadsheet of books that we all own so we know who to go to to borrow books from. Um, right. So, like, just things like that, like, in your own life, think through, you know, whether you have a partner, like the things you're good at that your partner's not, and where you guys can be on kind of an exchange program and then like zoom out that circle a little bit and think about like your first layer of friends.
And again, like if we all just start being more honest with ourselves of like, I'm good at this, but I don't enjoy it. Or I'm good at this, but I don't currently have the capacity to think about it. Or I'm good at this in other people's lives, but I just can't seem to make it happen for myself. Could I get your help with it? Yes. Um, being open to that possibility of the exchange of energy could be a cool level up for all of us this year.
I know. really could.
DeDee dilly dee dill
In a later episode.
Yeah, we can't fix everything in an hour of our time.
¶ again with the unsync
I
everybody that we weren't going to fix it this time. That's okay, sometimes it happens. But it does help to talk about it, I think. It definitely helps to talk about it. And it helps to make it aware, and it helps to like,
That actually, I'm going to toot both of our own horns for a second. That is something I am proud of both of us for, for this, because you and I were both like, you know, like, it makes me slightly uncomfortable. And we've got these things going like, so let's just, and, and, and I did that to you, you asked me, you were like, we're gonna record today. And I was like, I don't want to because I don't know. And then I was like, no, let's talk about it.
Yeah, man.
And that is growth right there that we were like, we're not where we want to be. We're struggling. Yeah. But I didn't snap myself up and detach fully. No. I trusted my buddy, Matthew.
¶ Marker
it did it You did and I trusted
of our ADHd20 friends.
Yes. Thank you friends.
We knew y'all could
knew. We knew. that you were going to be there for even though you're not there for us until you're listening to this Which is energy.
See, but that's the thing. Now let's get into WooWoo for a second. Let's have Alison's WooWoo Corner be a part of every, be a part of every episode. Yes. Yes, that is something. Yeah, we need to, we need to get like, uh, segue music, and, uh an intro this season. But for Alison's WooWoo Corner, Matthew, time is a weird soup. It's not happening in a linear way, the way that our human brains have taught us. So there was already an exchange of energy of our listeners helping us.
Long before we sat down to record, so they already have helped us, even though this episode has not been edited and produced yet. How you like them apples?
I love love apples.
And I love woo. woo.
Yeah! too! Me too! Woo woo!
just need more, um, opportunities to say my favorite phrase, "Time is a
weird soup hmm.
Uh, in any given day, so thank you for
Anytime. It
It feels good. That might be my next tattoo. Oh, wow. Yeah. Time is a weird soup. Thank you, Ashley Johnson.
you, Ashley Johnson. your heart. That's wonderful. Alright, Well, let's call it and let's get back to work, Alison. Let's do some stuff!
Okay.
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