Trine L.

This speaker has been recorded at an online meeting of Addictive Eaters Anonymous, you can email us at contact@AEAinfo.org.

0:14  
My name is Trine, and I'm an addicted eater. And thank you for the meeting. And I'm just sitting here on the chair, thinking life is good. And there are some noises here. I can hear my mom, she's going on, she has an issue. She wants the house we are in to be decorated a certain way. And I can hear that she has said that five different ways to my husband. And he goes like, ‘Yeah, might be right.‘ And it's good to be here, and to sit and to breathe and say, ‘God bless.‘ And I can't change it and whatever. And to know, I don't have to go out and change. I don't have to. Because that would be what I thought I needed to do. I needed to say you need to stop and you need to do and I will not have and and what and today, I know it won't change a thing - won't change a thing, I can't change others! But I can change my own attitude and my own feelings about it. And yeah, that's just great. And yeah, I mean, when I think back. And you heard me say this before, I didn't even think I had an issue with food. I thought I had a small thing with food, small thing with food. And it was pointed out to me that the way I behaved and I wasn't nice to be around, when when it was regarding food. And I was really angry and shocked to hear that I have others addiction and I could accept these addictions. I could accept the alcoholism, I could accept my pills I could, but with the food. And that's funny because I would always think if I figured this out, it will be different tomorrow - won‘t have a problem tomorrow, if I just figured this out. And I, I worked so hard. I worked so hard. And I was thinking today of a colleague, and she just listened to some advice from a weight group. And then she said, ‘Oh, that's good.‘ And she's living like that today. And she's been living like that for years. And I've always wondered, looked at her and wondered, because it's not a big issue for her. She just said, ‘Oh, that's smart. I will do that. Thank you.‘ But that's not for me. Because what I've learned here in AEA is that my disease is in my head in my thinking. And that's what needs to be changed as well. And in AEA I was told that... to get sober, I need to stay away from all mind altering substances. And I was told that addiction swaps from one thing to another. And I had a hard time sort of really. But then when I looked at my life, I could see that was exactly what happened. If it wasn't men, then it was food then it was doing. So I yeah, sure. And and then I was told yeah, to work the program and, and read the big book, and it's all centered in the big book. And what I discovered is that I was doing everything and anything. Except from just focus on what what does the book book say? And then for me, what's been the hardest is just to be honest. And it's, I thought it was the problem was being honest towards another person. But as it says in the fifth step, it's to be honest with myself, with God, and with another person. And that's where the change can be. Because I couldn't see it. If you can't see it, then you can't be honest. How can you be honest about it? But when I called members from this fellowship and they shared their story, then I could relate in a whole ... new way I could relate because I always thought I felt low. Oh, I have this I have that nobody knows, nobody understands. But here, it was, like they knew they had this experience. And it WASN'T like that. It wasn't like that for them today. They had, I could just sense

5:17  
that it was different. And and then I yeah, just to be suggested, just to, to, to get certain routines and follow them and be quite quiet, and listen and learn. And, and I think, for me, that's turned out to be such a relief. Because today, it's like it comes up - the troubled mind, it wants to make trouble. Even when I wake up in the morning. It says, ‘Ah, what's going to happen today? What's in it for you? Why...‘ And then I can go on my knees, give my life to God saying ‘You show me, you guide me, I give myself to Thee and and already there is something change. And, and then I can I am able to be useful. And to think about some something else beside me. And I must admit, after some time where the food and all that issue was part by a, by my sponsor, then I had a lot of time. A lot of really lot of time that I needed to do something else with. Were I always been just sitting there wondering about my weight, wondering about exercise wondering about and as to be able to... yeah, I was told ‘Go, go and help someone else. Go and help someone else.‘ And yeah. And then I was told that really kind of made me angry, have fun. They allowed themselves, just asked me to have fun, enjoy life. Why, whatever, what what should you do here if you weren't enjoying it? And that today is just like, it's a whole different way of fun than what I thought was fun. Because I think before this, it's just, I would think it's fun. If I have my way, that's fun. Or if things work out the way I plan. That's fun. And I don't really know what fun is. But I know what life is today. And I know that I can really get moved and emotional when I see how, how my family are working today. My relationships. I mean, I had so many issues with my father, I couldn't be in the room with him. I could, I was trying to really just BEAR spending time with him. And today, I really enjoy it because I was told a way of living. And I was told a way of being helpful. And I was told that acceptance is the answer to all my problems. So it's not me going there changing him. It's just being there. And, and often when I go and we spend together a time with him, like thank you. And where do I need to place this thank you. I need to place it to a Higher Power or something else because I know in my heart that that's not me doing that. That's not me who mended that relationship. But I -through this program, through working with a sponsor - I've got a way to to to be with family and friends. Today that just amazed me. And yeah. Yeah. So life is very good. Life is very good. And I thought it was all about food. And I was told it's not about the food and exercise and I thought ‘Oh, but I will call you again and I will tell you it's about the food.‘ And we need to discuss my food plan and it's not even interesting...

10:02  
because there's a whole life and I can just, I don't even think that - no! ‘Did I luck out?‘ Yeah, sure I did. I missed out on a lot of life because of I was so occupied with my thinking and my weight and all these things, but it's not like that today. And I'm just so happy that I get to experience this this way of life. And yeah, what this program has done for me. So that's the words, Meirion for today. So thank you very much for asking me to share. Thank you.