Hello, this speaker has been recorded at a meeting of Addictive Eaters Anonymous. For more information, visit our website www.aeainfo.org My name is Trine, I'm an addictive eater. And I'm happy to be here still still happy to be here. And then thanks for asking me to share. And when I get asked, the mind wants to prepare and figure it out and what to read and... And that's fine. What I've learned here is all I can do is share my experience. That's all I have. And that's all I can do.
And then, and that's enough, like it was shown to me when I got into AEA others shared their experience. And I could relate. I didn't want to relate, but I could relate. I didn't want to hear what I was told. But I listened. I didn't feel desperate. But I was. The food... it was years... It was as as long as I can remember, I've been doing things with food. Not eating, eating, eating too much. For sure eating in secret. Eating different things when
people were watching. Yeah, it's just hard work, really hard work... And I thought ah yesterday I thought it was getting easier to go to work. Because before going to work, it was kind of the show I had to put on or this going out. It was the show I had to put on that showed how good everything was going. Everything was always fine. If you asked me, How are you? I was on over the top! Happy! And I yeah, and it didn't match the picture of what just happened before or how I was acting around
here in the house. But for sure I would really make an effort in new relationships to put the show on. I don't feel like it's like that today. And I'm I have a lot of energy, I have a lot of energy, a lot of ideas, a lot of addiction is in AEA here in Denmark, she said, it's not because we lack things to do, or we're not clever or intelligent. It's sometimes it's almost like
there's just too much of it. And I could really relate this, there is too much going on with me - too big for myself - and all the thinking is too much for myself. And ever since I was a child at the same time, I would move into this fantasy world and live there a lot of the time in my imagination and not really being present. And I remember a psychiatrist said to me once it's like you're not living, it's like you have this video camera up. And you are just observing what's going on around
you. It's not like you're present. And I could really relate to that. Because that, of course, I it helped to be in the food to drink to do what I did. It helped to just be a way to have a distance to what was going on. And my story is that I stopped drinking. And then I had a small problem with food, nothing to talk about just a small thing. And it just turned out that the woman who was sponsoring me from AA, she said, you have a huge problem with
food and I cannot help you. You have to search for help other somewhere else. I don't know what's going on. She was an alcoholic. She said I don't know what's going on with you, Trine, but it's simply not nice being around you and food. I don't know what it is. Something is wrong. And that day, I had really pulled myself together. I'd been in a cafe. I looked sharp, right clothes. I did
conversation. I was funny. And then she said to me, it's not nice to be around you and I made such an effort to be whatever you want me to be. And I didn't know where to turn and then yeah, yeah, I've met someone who had heard about AEA. And I, I heard about AEA. And then immediately I said, Give me a sponsor. I just want to go ahead and I was told, yeah, might be for you might not, ring, phone. Let's see, let's see. And then I started listening
what people were doing here. And the definition of sobriety - all mind altering substances. And I must admit, I didn't drink but oh, I love the painkiller. And I and I had so many things and flirts and men, there were so many things I could do, because I was living in such a form of reward. When Trine had done some silly things, she had all that good, you need a reward, oh, you know, you've done that. So you should be rewarded and brag
about it. But I got, I got so much help from AEA, and at a certain time, I just knew I couldn't be, I couldn't trust my thinking. And I, I needed to do this. I needed to do this. And I must admit, I got so occupied, living the lifestyle, just following the suggestions that a lot of my, the problems that always occurred, they sort of all... aw, I don't know what happened because I just got busy
living life. Instead of all this, now I've done this - so I need to be rewarded, I need to sleep, I need to relax, I need to. And I just started getting out going to work, going to the meeting, taking care of my family. And I was like, I told the sponsor I had at that time I said to her, I've cooked for my husband and child. And I was like, Whoa! And she said, that's a very normal thing to do Trine. But I thought, oh, look at me.
I've been here some years. And my husband, I liked this story, because he said one day, it's amazing how tidy it is. Because before I couldn't manage to tidy up after myself. So you could see wherever I've been in the house, because I would have just leave things all over. And all of a sudden, because of this way of life, I started to just to my own self be true and be self. I
don't know the word for it. But you know, it just made sense that if I had put something all over the table that I tidied up and finished my things and and I learned that in a very grown up age, I find that a bit embarrassing, but I haven't done that before. My old AA sponsor, she said, Trine, you live a life like you're always searching for a party, just sitting waiting, what's going to happen? And it's not like that today. Today, I really enjoy my everyday life. Never done that before, never!
Always looked for a holiday or when can I live life? When am I going to? And today? I just know it's not. It's in my everyday life. I do really enjoy my life. And and also, I mean, friendship has changed. In the time I've been here I was always very, very eager to be with people and what can I do? And if they have other friends I had a problem with that because I could oh, it was like we are exclusive here
in this friendship. And I saw And saw that we all need each other and it's it's good that some of all that that nonsense in my fifth step. there are more people and and friendships are, a different thing than what I thought that, relationship is a different thing. Marriage is a different thing than what I thought.
And I'm just so yeah, so really happy because I took the suggestion that I shared my life with sponsor and sober members and grew up and today I'm not the one who can say that things change but I feel a different way when I'm with colleagues and when I am with family. I have a relationship today with my father with my mom. And they're
not panicking. How was Trine? As I told someone from the fellowship before when I call if I called my mom she would just throw everything away and run to the phone and for some years she said, Now, it's not a good time and let's talk on another occasion, she trust that I'm okay. She's not afraid that I'll keep trying to kill myself or I can't manage because that was one of the things I did I, when I couldn't take responsibility, I would
blame others. I would blame whoever, and especially my mom or my husband, though, they were in it was their responsibility, how I felt and I know today it is my responsibility. And it's just so good. No matter what happens, that I've been taught to pause, to breathe, to pray to, to just stop, just stop. And then in AEA, all of a sudden, I mean, for years, I heard the slogans in AEA and they didn't make sense to me. And then here because of sobriety and because I it all of a sudden makes such
good sense. I was... the AEA slogans and everything, this way of life. That was just what was on the heart. That's me now. Thank you.