Kate S.

This story has been recorded at an Addictive Eaters Anonymous meeting in New Zealand. You can email us at contact@AEAnz.org 
My name is Kate, I'm an addictive eater. When I was asked to speak, I thought it would be nice to talk about how amazing this program is and how much it's changed my life like completely changed my life and how grateful I am and how, you know, there's no way that anything else that I tried came close to what has been given to me in this program. So I'm just thinking about how I'm going to express that how I'm going to say that and I was thinking, well, the only thing I need to do is share my story. And then I thought, well, I could try and talk about status. That's a solution. But yeah, so the only problem with that is I'm not a perfect example of working the steps. Obviously, you know, God obviously thinks that I've done a good enough job, because I'm not eating today. So I found out about this fellowship through the doctor. And I came along to a meeting, which I didn't like, because I thought everybody looked funny. And I didn't like group things. But I do keep on coming back. And after a long time of coming, and having lots of old ideas that kept me from seeing and hearing the solution. Eventually, I got when I got sicker and worse, and my eating got worse. And I got sick and tired of being sick and tired. I asked my sponsor if she would help me. And she said, 'Yes.' And she had said to me, addiction swaps from substance to substance, and I was still smoking cigarettes. And I didn't think that I could stop, I was so scared. And she said, maybe it's the cigarettes, that's why you're finding it so hard to give up the food. And so eventually I got to the point where I thought maybe she's right, maybe I am not gonna get well while I'm still smoking cigarettes. So I asked her if she would help me. But I wanted to go on the patches, which is not a real proper surrender. But she said that she would help me and that I could go on the patches. So I took my sobriety date from three months later, when I finished the last patch. And I haven't had a cigarette since that time. And by the grace of God, I've been able to eat on a food plan, and try and follow direction, come to meetings, and try and help others. And so as a result of that, it's opened up my life where I am able to hold down a job, for example, I keep, I kept on getting fired all the time, I'm losing jobs. And so I have had a good job for a long time. And I don't have to worry about whether my clothes are gonna fit me in the morning when I get dressed. And because one of the things that we need to do if we want to get well is follow direction of someone else, we need to be honest with someone else. And we need to listen to what they say and try and do what they say. And for somebody that always did everything very secretively and didn't share, and always thought that I had the answers. What I've found by doing that is I'm actually able to listen and follow direction in other areas of my life, because I practice it here. And so, like, if my boss asks me to do something, I can do that with a pretty good attitude, regardless of what I might think about that. And, you know, that has just been such a wonderful freedom for me in my working life, to be able to know how to conduct myself because I learned it here. And so these are the ways where how do you express the gratitude because is so much of it, you know, in so many little ways that you can't express always.... relating to other members of the family. And being where I say I'm gonna be and doing what I say I'm gonna do those sorts of things where people can sort of trust you a bit and rely on you a bit. And you know, like, if I thought I was too fat, I wouldn't leave the house. And if I had commitments, well, that's too bad because I'm I just tomorrow, you know, tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow. And meanwhile, my life is getting so small. And so my life has opened up a lot. And I'm able to do so much more than I ever thought I could possibly do. You know, if I had too many things on, I would feel so overwhelmed. And now sometimes I can still feel overwhelmed. But I find that just by talking to my sponsor, coming to meetings, listening to other people, how they cope with life, I might feel overwhelmed, but I don't have to quit and give up things, you know, I can just, you know, doesn't matter if I slow down or, or just just doing the next, you know, just do the next small thing. And then eventually, I'll find that the energy comes back or the enthusiasm comes back, or things just come right again. And, you know, if I just hang in there, and these are the sorts of things that I didn't know about, you know, I always thought that Oh, I don't know what I thought but I just...relying on myself and my secretive little ways. You know, wasn't able to sort of be in the world and contribute. And, you know, it was also scary. And so it's good to have answers to some of those things. And, you know, takes care of a lot of that fear as well. So, yeah, it's really good to be here and by the grace of God, I will keep coming.