Join us for a lively discussion with Dr. Michael Fontaine (Classics, Cornell University) as we talk about his new book— How to Tell a Joke: An Ancient Guide to the Art of Humor —a translation and analysis of ancient Roman treatises on humor from both Cicero and Quintilian. Along the way we tackle such questions as “How can a politician or a lawyer use humor to win a room?”, “Is one born funny or can it be taught?” and “Did Cicero seal his own fate by telling jokes that went too far?” Tune in for...
Jun 08, 2021•1 hr 12 min•Ep. 40
This week Jeff and Dave take a trip to the Dutch Renaissance with a look at prolific Latin poet, theological secretary, Dutch patriot, and Greek scholar Daniel Heinsius (1580-1655). After a whirlwind introduction to leading Italian , French , and Dutch luminaries, we get right into the vita and opera of this amazing scholar. Heinsius served as secretary at the Synod of Dort (1618-1619) and also wrote some incredible Dutch poetry (sampled for us by Utrecht scholar Aron Ouwerkerk ). He also tried ...
Jun 01, 2021•1 hr 1 min•Ep. 39
Today Jeff and Dave dive into the oeuvre of Roman historian Gaius Sallustius Crispus (known as “Sallust” or “Crispy” to his friends), particularly sections 6-13 of his Bellum Catilinae. Dave argues that with this work Sallust invents the “ monograph ”, zeroing in on a narrow subject as his “hook” rather than trying to “do it all” more broadly and blandly. In the eight chapters referenced above Sallust zips through about 1200 years of Roman history, from Aeneas to the 1st century BC, highlighting...
May 25, 2021•1 hr 9 min•Ep. 38
After the smoke clears from some much needed post-slaughter fumigation, Dave and Jeff finally lumber their way to the end of the epic. At last we get a proper reunion between husband and wife in which Penelope wins the battle of wits. The occasion? Odysseus gets artichoked up when Penelope treats their bed like an IKEA futon. Now, roll the credits, right? WRONG. There's a whole other book to go! We see the suitors take the slip-n-slide down to Hades where Agamemnon gives them the raspberry. Back...
May 18, 2021•1 hr 1 min•Ep. 37
Dave comes into the Vomitorium in a bit of a gloomy mood, and what’s on tap in these books does not look like it will help much. All the planning and scheming by Odysseus finally comes down to this—the suitors (and a goodly portion of the house staff) get what’s coming to them, and only a handful of the loyal survive. Is this grisly, but acceptable justice? Athena (disguised as Mentor) wants it, so it has to be ok, right? Dave seems to agree, but Jeff (softie that he is) says, “hold up a minute”...
May 11, 2021•1 hr 2 min•Ep. 36
What happened to Episode 35 and Dr. Michael Fontaine ? Well, our hosts had some tech diffs. That planned episode didn't drop. It shattered. So instead Jeff and Dave go far off script and offer up a hastily-prepared, poorly-seasoned, half-baked, slightly rewarmed, partially-marinated impromptu side dish (or podcast upside down cake) that answers this burning question: why should I study Greek and Latin? Along the way, you learn about Cliff Clavin , Count Dooku , Eric Blair , J.K. Rowling , Dumbo'...
May 05, 2021•51 min•Ep. 35
When does Penelope know who the stranger really is? This question is at the center of today’s episode as the storm continues to gather in Odysseus’ house. But first—a bum fight! With a bloody goat paunch on the line (and who wouldn’t step it up for something tasty like that?), Odysseus clocks the mouthy Irus (aka Arnaeus) with the ol’ one-two. Then Penelope overshares (or does she???) with the stranger, Eurykleia shrieks at a telling scar (or was it just the stranger’s b.o.?), and things wrap up...
Apr 27, 2021•55 min•Ep. 34
Ecce ! Here it is, the tearjerking, heartbreaking, bird-shrieking, deeply satisfying reunion between long-lost Odysseus and his heroic son Telemachus. Jeff and Dave guide you through all the action as Tely returns to the hut of the humble swineherd Eumaeus (swineherd good, goatherd bad, cowherd so-so) to rendezvous with dad. Don’t miss Eumaeus’ backstory, plenty of bird omens , and Odysseus dodging stool legs while disguised as a beggar. You not only get Jeff’s penetrating literary analysis, but...
Apr 20, 2021•55 min•Ep. 33
This week Odysseus wraps up his epic yarn for the Phaeacians by threading the needle between the “dog-trunked” Scylla and the gulping maelstrom of Charybdis , a waxy zip past the alluring Sirens , and an ill-advised stop on the island of Helios where his men’s hankering for a decent steak does the rest of them in. Then (finally!) Odysseus is ferried home to his home island of Ithaca. As much as he’d like to rush home, check the junkmail, and clean out his gutters, this is no time to start trusti...
Apr 13, 2021•56 min•Ep. 32
In this episode we welcome Dr. Ed Watts into the vomitorium. A highly respected historian of Rome from UCSD, Ed talks with Jeff and Dave about his fascinating 2018 book Mortal Republic: How Rome Fell into Tyranny . Come along for the sights, the sounds, and yes, even some of the smells of ancient Rome as Ed explains – to Dave's chagrin – his antipathy toward Cicero as a person and stylist, but deep respect for the man for his "profound" political insights. Individuals are mortal, but a republic ...
Apr 06, 2021•59 min•Ep. 31
Dave and Jeff katabisate back into Hades where we watch a parade of mythic women, but no marching bands or fun-size Snickers in this parade, just more murder, mourning, and malevolence. Tune in for Epicaste, Antiope, Alcmene, and many more unpronounceable ladies. Then it’s more blasts from the passed: Agamemnon shows up with a story of the worst “welcome home” present ever while planting some doubts in Odysseus’ mind. Achilles himself drifts forward giving Odysseus a taste of what awaits him. Aj...
Mar 30, 2021•1 hr 1 min•Ep. 30
Come along as we follow Odysseus on his ultimate journey—a trip to the LAND OF THE DEAD (cue screeching violins or maybe even Michael Jackson’s “ Thriller ”). WATCH as our hero cowers from the ghosts of epics past as they swarm like moths to the blood filled pit! WONDER what Elpenor is doing here when he was just eating nachos on Circe’s veranda a second ago! LISTEN to Tiresias’ weird prophecy and Dave’s master class on wheat/chaff separation ! WEEP when Odysseus encounters his mother Anticleia’...
Mar 23, 2021•46 min•Ep. 29
This week Jeff and Dave welcome author, teacher, musician, farm guru, and mini-Aristotle Susan Wise Bauer via Zoom from her home in Virginia. Jeff and Dave enjoy a lively back-and-forth with Susan on her many talents and accomplishments. Tune in as Dr. Bauer discusses her experience being homeschooled, her love of Hebrew and history, and her best-selling books that serve as guides to anyone who wants a “Classical education”. Along the way we discuss what different people mean by the term “classi...
Mar 16, 2021•1 hr 4 min•Ep. 28
After giving the Cyclops everything short of his credit card information, Odysseus and the boys are in for more bumps and bruises. First it’s a visit with Aeolus , god of the winds, who bags up all the blustery blasts, but instead of telling his crew our hero decides it’s “nap time”. Then it's on to the Laestrygonians for more cannibalism and general rock-chucking. At last they wash up on the island of Aeaea (no vowel-buying necessary) where Circe decides that while men are pigs the Hermes-helpe...
Mar 09, 2021•51 min•Ep. 27
This week Dave and Jeff find themselves trapped with Odysseus and his men in the cave of the dreaded chatterbox Cyclops . Here they're confronted not only with the question “How do we get out of here?”, but also “Is the Cyclops really that bad of a guy?”, “How do the Greeks define civilization?”, “What’s the true hierarchy in the Vomitorium?”, and even, “Can you base a whole society on cheese?” Brace yourself for non-stop, root-crackling, sheep-strapping, lamb-cramming, epic-simileing , cheese-f...
Mar 02, 2021•51 min•Ep. 26
This week we welcome our first in-studio guest (and it’s a big one)— Newberry Award winning young adult author (and Calvin University English Professor) Dr. Gary D. Schmidt . Tune in for a wide-ranging discussion about the influence of the Classics on Gary's life and writing, including his love for Odysseus, his loathing of Achilles, and a sneak peek at his next novel, based on the labours of Heracles . Along the way watch out for those liminal spaces, whether they are middle school or entrances...
Feb 23, 2021•1 hr 8 min•Ep. 25
In this week's episode Zeus sends Hermes to demand that the fair-tressed Calypso release weeping Odysseus (still with us?) after seven years of island imprisonment. No amount of organic oat hair milk can cheer her, the added shine, volume, and bounce notwithstanding. We look at books 5-8, with Odysseus and Nausicaa having a go at jarts , while Demodocus (Homer himself in disguise?) plucks out the hottest hits of the Mycenaean Era. Odysseus weeps (again!) and drops some layered metanarratives, bu...
Feb 16, 2021•47 min•Ep. 24
This week Dave and Jeff clamber aboard a trireme and follow Telemachus as he leaves Ithaca (for the first time?) and heads to the Peloponnese in search of news of his missing father. After leaving Nestor (and escaping his grumpy old man, “back in my day” monologues) it’s on to Sparta to visit Menelaus and Helen. Here things are so tense that Helen has to mix some sort of magic sedative into the Mountain Dew. Stick around for Menelaus and Helen’s strikingly different versions of the Trojan Horse ...
Feb 09, 2021•48 min•Ep. 23
In this first of countless (?) episodes on the Odyssey, Jeff and Dave wash ashore on the opening books, Castaway style. Here we find Odysseus’ wife and son, Penelope and Telemachus, besieged in their home on Ithaca by greedy, gluttonous, mindless suitors, and with no idea when Odysseus is ever coming home. As with the Iliad, we consider the first word of the poem — ἄνδρα (andra, man) — and investigate how this might be a guidestone for understanding the epic’s deeper themes. Other key questions:...
Feb 02, 2021•46 min•Ep. 22
This week Dave and Jeff gambol off near sylvan fields to tackle the earliest example of Vergil’s poetry, the Eclogues . In Eclogue 1 we meet the shepherd Meliboeus lamenting to his friend Tityrus: "How'd I get evicted?" Meanwhile, Tityrus plays his oaten pipes and suggests Rome is over-rusticating. You’ll hear the amoeboean bees a-buzzing and the cattle a-lowing (with a digression on Psalm 23) as we investigate the deeper meanings of bucolic imagery, Greek precedents, and pressed cheeses. Look! ...
Jan 26, 2021•51 min•Ep. 21
Late August, 480 BC. The tension in the pass finally gives way to violence and for the first two days of battle the Persians learn their wicker wear can't match Spartan discipline. Xerxes gets throne-hopping mad until a local traitor (Ephialtes - boo!) tells him of the mountain pass that will allow him to outflank the Greeks below. Leonidas has excruciating choices to make and resigns himself to death, but not before dropping a series of action hero one-liners that had Schwarzeneggar taking note...
Jan 19, 2021•47 min•Ep. 20
Is this Shhhparta ? In this episode Jeff and Dave (with help from Peter Green ) make their way toward the narrow pass at Thermopylae and lay the groundwork for one of the most crucial and mythic battles in the history of Western civilization. What led up to this heroic and tragic encounter? We watch as Darius the Great gets out-run at Marathon , Darius’ son Xerxes I seeks revenge with a horde of wicker-wearing Immortals, and the Greeks squabble over where to make a stand and how to pronounce “is...
Jan 12, 2021•48 min•Ep. 19
Don’t forget to join us this week as we ask the question, “What’s the best way to develop a super memory?” 16th century memory mavens William Perkins and Alexander Dicson each thought he knew best, and the result was a full-on, throttle-your-Aristotle dustup. Leaning on more familiar thinkers Giordano Bruno and Peter Ramus , P and D hash out competing memory systems. Should it be image-based, or use dialectical trees? Do walnuts and a decent haircut help? Come along with us for a tour de force o...
Jan 05, 2021•47 min•Ep. 18
This week Dave and Jeff wrap up their journey through Euripides’ Alcestis and the second half has everything—weeping, wailing, sarcastic dads, guest stars on their way to wrangle flesh-eating horses. You know, typical theater fare. Yes, Admetus continues his mope-a-thon, but suddenly Heracles himself shows up and who hasn’t been in that cliched situation where you’re trying juggle a funeral and a call-the-cops house party? Then hang on tight for the twist ending. What does it all mean? Is it tim...
Dec 29, 2020•50 min•Ep. 17
This week Dave and Jeff wade into the deep waters of Greek Tragedy for the first time with a two-part look at Euripides’ Alcestis. Even devotees of tragedy may not be familiar with this one! But before we get there we poke around at a few questions: why did tragedy arise in Athens? Why did actors wear masks, and what's a deus ex machina? Then it’s on to Euripides himself—a poet well ahead of his time and the man the Athenians loved to hate—and his macabre marital masterpiece Alcestis. Apollo and...
Dec 22, 2020•44 min•Ep. 16
Filling every nook and cranny, Jeff and Dave this week focus on their fears, and the 8th century B.C. pottery masterpiece known as the Dipylon Vase . What drives an artist and a culture to create a work like this in which every inch of the surface is covered? Is there something to this “fear of the empty space”? What about the funeral scene that dominates the titular objet d'art, and when is that crunchy, creamy Jif sponsorship coming through? So come on in for a whirlwind tour of early Greek ar...
Dec 15, 2020•46 min•Ep. 15
This week Dave and Jeff take a sober look at the political assassination of Marcus Tullius Cicero, December 7, 43 B.C. As Octavian and Mark Antony reach détente, heads must roll. And first on the platter is that of poor Tully. Come along as we take the train out of Rome from Termini station on a gray January day and head down to Formiae . We recount the last hours of the famous orator with the help of Plutarch and Dio Cassius. Though he died without a fight, Cicero spent his last months excoriat...
Dec 08, 2020•43 min•Ep. 14
This week Jeff and Dave tag along with Cicero to sunny Tuscany where they find Cato Uticensis knee-deep in a pile of books on Stoicism. Gorging on books ( helluari libris) and literary addiction (aviditas legendi) is our theme as we share favorite authors and works from the ancient and modern worlds. First up is a primo piatto of Plato, followed by savory servings of Sophocles, and Apuleian “afters.” If you still have room for more, stroll out with Jeff and Kazantzakis for a nightcap on Crete, a...
Dec 01, 2020•48 min•Ep. 13
This week Dave and Jeff access a Pylon and head back to the beginning—Hesiod’s Theogony (c. 700 BC), the closest thing we get to a canonical creation myth for the ancient Greeks. In between aggressive sickle-wielding, “foam births”, and largely pointless references to ‘90s movies, we find out where both the gods and the physical universe come from and why, in the end, Zeus does it best. If that’s not enough, tune in to witness Dave actually letting Jeff recite some Greek for once, two Aphrodites...
Nov 24, 2020•49 min•Ep. 12
Jeff and Dave get into the dirt with the archaic Greek poet Hesiod (c. 700 B.C.) and his seminal poem Works and Days. Is this near contemporary a match for Homer or does he deserve his (well-cultivated) second banana status? What should we think about the justice of Zeus, two kinds of competition (was Hesiod a capitalist?), fire-stealing, the myth of Pandora, and whether might makes right? Don't miss the five ages of mankind, from Golden right down through the Iron(ic), Age of Ultron in which we...
Nov 17, 2020•48 min•Ep. 11
