Marriage Evolution: Navigating Lifelong Partnerships and Self-Discovery with Sandra Tate AND Sade Parham

Hey, everybody, it's Tiffany D.

Cross.

You'r host of Across Generations, and I want to thank you guys so much for tuning in every single week. I want to take a moment to shout out those of you who have taken the time to rate and review the show. That really helps grow the platform and I really really appreciate it. So I want to thank you. Susie seven five seven. He said, you love this podcast, and each and every episode has resonated with you, and I just want to thank you for saying that, because

You know how we do. We create magic, creates magic.

Hi, everybody, Welcome to another episode of Across Generations. And today we have a very exciting topic to talk about marriage. So before we get into the conversation, I want to start with the marriage rates in America. They have actually been on the decline since the latter half of the twentieth century, and collectively, we're all marrying at a later age. But here's the interesting thing. The decline of marriage and delay are even more dramatic among us. Among Black folks.

Now why do we think that is.

I'll tell you personally, I didn't grow up looking at bridal magazines or planning what my wedding would look like.

But I certainly desired a life partner.

And I wonder what the correlation is between marriage and love because these are not the same. Things seem to be more elusive in our community, and that makes me sad. People seem to desire it less and less. And we know there are benefits to marriage. You can start building wealth earlier. Having a life partner can enhance your health,

I'm looking for advice from you both. Missus Tate.

I want to start with you, because sixty one years, I mean, that's amazing. When I was younger and people would say how long they were married, and then the audience would applaud. I never got that. Now that I'm older, I understand why.

People look at it like an accomplishment. Tell us a little bit about your marriage, well.

Person of I got married when I was eighteen, and I think I mentioned before at Howard University. Back then, I was pregnant when we got married. Those are things that you really had to do or your parents would try to work something out. So I was pregnant when I got married. But I'd like to say my husband and I were definitely in love, because there was a thing about love at first sight with the both of us.

No judgment if you did. No judgment if you did. I'm impressed mister Tate's game if you did, But no judgment.

So being pregnant, you always wonder are we married because I was pregnant or because we loved each other that much? It always kind of lingers in your mind. And I think after sixty one years, I think I we do love you. I loved them more today than I did back then, And of course we had our rough patches along the way, like most marriages do.

That testimony, I started out by saying, you know, I'm wondering what it looks like. But hearing you say that It does make me desire a partnership even more to hear you you talk about that sixty one years that's a really long long time. This concept of love at first sight. It makes me wonder about the correlation between love and marriage, because I just said the two are not always the same. In some marriages, I feel like

In a set to us, a conscious decision because when my daughters, I was working at the time, and then we were young.

I was eighteen, he was twenty.

One and only child, a little kind of nuts boiled, but you know, so some of the things. And I remember sitting talking with my daughters and they were like six or seven at the time, and he's done something crazy. And I sat them down and I said, you know, Janine diitre, I'm thinking about very seriously, I'm gonna.

Leave your father.

And they looked at me and said what she said? Okay, mom, And my older daughter Janine said, then who's going to take care of daddy? And when she said that, I said, well, there goes apart for better or worse.

So I said, okay, so.

I made am. I said, no, we're not going to do that. We're just going to work past whatever it is that we're going.

Wow, Yes there's a story there and I'm going to get it. But I'm gonna come.

Back to that.

I have so many more questions about that. I want to bring Shida into the conversation. Our younger guest here now, Satday. You're dating someone, right, you guys are in an exclusive relationship?

Yes, and do you want to get married? I do.

It took me a while to kind of come to that because I grew up with my mom really emphasizing that, yes, marriage is beautiful, like my parents were married. But she's like, ultimately, in this day and age, it's a business. It's like a contract. So if you are getting into a situation, you need to be mindful of like this person could get your assets, your home, like other things. And so I've always been like, well, if I don't need to

You do want to get married, yeah, But it's interesting to hear you talk about it like it's like a business, you know, like as a contract, yeah, and not a life partnership in like a spiritual, mental, emotional connection.

I think that you can have that type of a connection with so many people. It doesn't necessarily just have to be the person you decide to marry. I think when you do jump into marriage, at least from my perspective, it is definitely a conscious decision that you are splitting something from like a business perspective, because we could just be together and it can be very casual and we don't have to do go down to the courthouse and

On those thoughts.

But I think it is something that would mean a lot more so to him.

It's interesting hearing the two of you your perspectives on it and the way you describe it is very different. And I want to get into how our collective perspectives on marriage have changed through the decades and the generations. We just talked about how it's a SETTI declined in the Black community specifically, and I got to say, I think our superpower has been that structure, our family unit,

To me, marriage is like a lifetime a compromise and rearranged priorities. So that's something you have to always keep in mind that it's not just you in this marriage. You have a partner, so you have to come to some common ground on things. I really I think that's very, very important. It's a lot of compromise and a lot of rearranging of priorities. You know.

It's an interesting quote.

Latasha Richardson is the wife of Sam Jackson, and someone asked her how did you maintain your marriage all these years? And she said, it requires a lot of amnesia and a lot of forgiveness. I think about that. Yeah, I mean it's you know, there have to be times where you wonder. And I know me personally, I don't have a lot of either. I don't have a lot of amnesia, and I don't have a lot of forgive And this

Get from me?

Or you know, it's there's history and like bitterness built up. I think women come to the table like why won't you let me love you? You know, And I just I'm trying to figure out how to bridge that divide your generation though, I have to say, it does not seem like a value partnership at all.

I really don't know what happened.

I talk about this a lot on our podcast, like it seems okay, don't get me wrong, I know, I said I think marriage, you know, Ultimately, it is a contract, and you do need to be able to go into a situation saying like are.

We going to do this?

Because if the i RS come and you donet does something stupid like I don't want to be attached to it. But at the same time, I think my generation specifically is so obsessed with money and finances and it's unrealistic. I'm like, what happened to just like a nice man who had a stable job, But everybody want to be a city girl and everybody wants to be taken care of. They want a soft life, but no one's thinking about the compromise.

I think that's the decline.

I think that's where the disconnect is happening, Like people don't want to compromise. Everyone thinks it's going to be this perfect situation, which we know it's not, and they're looking for something that's unrealistic. Like I think Michelle Obama was talking about this. She was like, people don't want to do the work. They just want like the wedding and the flowers and they're pretty and then they're done. And that's I think that's why my generation, unfortunately is very confused.

They've gotten caught up in the material.

Well, one of my favorite books that I read, Finding Me by Viola Davis. It was such an amazing book and she talks about love and partnership and marriage and how she had to love herself. And she quotes an episode of Golden Girls in the book where Dorothy's Warnak is saying she wants someone to grow old with. And that's the part that so many younger people don't like. We want the cute, we want the suite and the fun, but you know, we all might not look like missus

It grew back, thankfully.

So at the time you get moles and hair grolls out of them, you know, like you just grow old. And I fear that this younger generation that chases people who look like mannequins on Instagram, they are not even prepared for that. Because we have such a seasoned, experienced women here. What advice do you give us as young women, Younger women who want to get married, but maybe we don't know what we're signing up for. It's not a long first date, it's a life commitment.

For young women today, they have a lot more optioned. When I was young, you were expected to get at marriage, you go to high school and not even necessarily go to college if you get married and you have children. And nowadays, I think one of the reasons why that number is dwindling is because women, especially Black women, are the most progressive in terms of graduating from college and

Yeah, but I don't feel like I have to get married at this big age in life. But It is a desire I have and something that I've navigated in dating. I'm sure you're going through this with the young man you're dating, but we talked about.

This a little bit before.

It's a whole other person, you know, It's a whole other human being who has a whole different perspective. And the thing that surprises me most about intimacy with another person outside of physical intimacy, but this person can ruin my whole day, you know, with a text message or a phone call. This person can make a decision that

Do you have that kind of trust with your man?

It's something that I'm working on.

And it's funny that you said that because I just was talking to my therapist about this. It's a level of vulnerability that I've never wanted to have and.

Be so open. I'll give you a little story, like began to.

An argument over the silliest thing, like where we were going to go on a date, and he like changed where it was going to be, and I was like, but I planned it, and now you're trying to do something else, Like this is so unfair. You're not thinking about how I'm thinking about it. And so I just shut down completely and I was like, we're not going nowhere, and I'm about to go out with my friends and I'm not even going to come home. And I just wanted to go straight to like anger and resentment and

Yeah.

I think that's very important because a lot of time we take for granted women communicate differently with each other than men and women, and a lot of time when men, you have to be if it's something on your mind, it's the last thing on their mind. You can't sit there and be angry. You need to have a conversation and in flint, if something bothers you, you need to discuss it and talk about it and after a while

How a light bubble turn on and yeah.

You know that, and that issue may go away.

They made a good point though about hurt feelings, and I'm curious from you after sixty one years, clearly there's been some hurt feelings at some point in your marriage. I'm sure if you can recall a time where you were the most hurt by your husband. He hurts you the most, cuts you the deepest. How did you can share what you want to about that time, but how did you survive that pain?

How'd you get past it?

I would say when we were young, we went through, but also when my daughters got older and they were off to college and everything. And I remember clearly being home one night and my husband wasn't there, and I was just sitting in the bed and I said, wow, it was like so quiet in here. It was just me and my thoughts, and I said, wow, this is

And it took a while for him. He was supposed to leave, but he didn't leave.

So I was the one that went and looked for an apartment and I left. And to show you something about my husband, he's very funny. Everybody loved him. He has a great sense of humor and he is very, very charming. So when I looked for an apartment, I took my little grandson with me, Robbie. I was looking at apartments and he was about three years old. And then when we came back home, everybody was home. He said, Grandma, and I found an apartment and we're moving.

It could be a sitcom.

But we were separated for a while, and I clearly remember my husband calling me one day because my older daughters were still with him.

The three they were living together, both.

Of them graduated for Kyle, all of their friends by the house and everything. And then my husband he called me on the phone and he said, Sandy, how come.

I got custody of the kids the phone? I said, what kid did? Twenty four?

But like with him, I think the humor after a while, well, he is so funny and so charming, and today we have the best relationship that we've ever had. We finally found our way back to each other, and I think it was through our grandsons had.

A lot to do with it too.

Did you ever do therapy?

No, no therapy, no therapy, you said, your grandkids. But what was the conversation between you and your husband, like, how did you reconnect? How did you find your way back to each other?

Well, slowly, but surely we would run into because we still did a lot of things together as a family.

We still did all of those things together. Through the years, it.

Seemed like he started recognizing he had more empty and insight into me and curious and really interested in what I was doing. So he showed genuine interest in me, and then after a while we just became even better friends and we finally got back together and said we'll give this another try.

Yeah, and it's worked out so fine.

He is my my Prince Charming that I thought I had a long time back.

Wow, Now what was better the first half or the second half?

The second half? Yes, And you.

Wouldn't have known that had you not suck it out.

I think that's so interesting about just being you know, authentic and transparent with someone. For a long time in my twenties and my thirties, I would literally pretend to be someone else I wasn't, you know, it wasn't someone contrary to who I was. But I would show up and pose, you know, I would. I was always together, I would, you know, turn the brain on. I was only saying, like, you know, the most HyG role things.

I will throw a tantrum if I want to. He will see me cry.

All of these things and we It was intimidating to me because I felt so naked, I felt so emotionally naked. But then it was also comemfortable, you know, like this is the most comfortable I could be with somebody.

To get maybe Tami.

I had never even walked around unclothed in front of anyone before, Yeah, because I always wanted to look perfect, and in this particular case, I was just walking around. I'm a virgin mistake obviously, No, I'm kidding anyway, But I felt comfortable, you know, like I'm gonna be you know, who I am, And to do that the first time in my forties was interesting and it just made me so much more open but also so much more emotional.

You, and then you, honestly, I feel like you lose yourself. So I'm very jealous of your generation that didn't have to deal with Instagram and it's tender and and it makes people feel like they're disposable exactly, you know, like.

They're not real human beings.

Absolutely, yeah, yes, that does your behavior, whether if people like something and that. I I remember one of the best lessons I learned from my dad, and I remember this clearly. I was at my grandmother's house and the neighbors next door.

I had all the kids I used to play with.

But this time I didn't want to play with the girl next door because my aunt had taken paper bags andce she did my hair where I had all of these curls and everything in this beautiful dress. And I said, well, I don't really want to play with them today because they don't look as nice as i'd love.

And then I looked at my father.

I was a little girl, and he looked at me, and the look in his eyes said, I could tell that he was not pleased with you know what I was saying. And I to to day, even when I got older, I thanked him for pointing that out to me, because I would have missed so many great opportunities in life by judging people by their looks, or by how much money they have or anything like that. That was a great lesson I learned from my dad.

Yeah, that's such a good point.

Okay, y'all already know the streets are talking, talking, talking. Y'all know the streets are talking all the time about relationships always everybody. Every time I scroll on Instagram, some is a new relationship guru, some self declared person spitting that Instagram knowledge, you know, And I will causing people

Just you by yourself.

As Tracy Ellis Ross, she's sharing some thoughts on why she is choicefully single. So I want you guys to take a listen and we can talk about it.

On the other side, I, like many of us, was taught to grow up dreaming of my wedding, not of my life, and also waiting to be chosen. Well, here's the thing. I'm the chooser, and I can choose to get married if I want to. But in the meantime, I am choicefully single, happily, gloriously single, and I do wish there were more examples. So many people ask the question, have you ever thought about having children? My child gave my life meaning. I'm like, are you saying my life is not meaningful?

So I thought Tracy Elis Ross raised a really good point because even in society it's like men are the choosers. I have been, you know, quote unquote chosen before. I don't know that I've ever chosen someone else. You know, I have recently, but it's you know, we're not an exclusive relationship, but I felt like, oh, I would choose you, and that's so important for us as women, you know, like do you choose me? And do I choose you? In coming together under that auspice? And who did the choosing?

In my relationship? My husband he.

Shows you, say your husband shows you in your relationship?

This is a funny story.

So I've always had a crush on my boyfriend, Like I've known him for years, and he would DJ at different spots and so I would literally drag my friends and be.

Like, we're going uptown, We're going all over the city.

He's DJing here, he's DJing there, and this boy paid me no mine. Like he'd be like hey, and I'd be like damn, Like he doesn't he's not seeing it.

But that is something about you know.

I think younger women today, like younger women will do the choosing and I'm in, you know, in between these generations where I feel like I am an analog girl living in a digital world. You know, like you because when I'm doing the choosing, the dynamic is off. Now. You know, if I feel like the man in this position, you might feel a little emasculated at times. Yee, you know, like you choose me, Make it clear, make it obvious, Slap me across the face with it.

Now.

One thing I will say about exposing yourself to somebody in that way, One thing I learned about myself.

I can say some ugly things.

When I am so open and honest and in love with someone, and they hurt my feelings. The things that I can spew, I have surprised myself because I am so deeply hurt. I'm curious in your marriage, can you recall a time where you did or said something to your husband It was below the belt, It was so hurtful and you wish you could take it back. Well, did that ever occur, and if it did how did you get past it?

So you would have to ask him fair because I don't believe that I ever did that, because I'm very mindful about the things that I say, and maybe, like I'm sad it used to be a programmer. So maybe it's just logic in terms of way that I think, because I also like if I'm feeling something and say, if you might get a tinge of jealousy about something or anger, to me, that's the best time to grow.

And you said a key word there being logical and emotions are not always live. Yeah, it's something your friend of mine, Latasha, tells me it be judicious with your words. You know, and that is a lesson I'm still learning at this point because I haven't lived with anybody. I've never been married, and it's, you know, quite frankly, somebody who stands by me, and that says, yes, I make room for your personhood.

I know that you say these things.

I try to be mindful of that, but it's a lesson I haven't quite learned yet.

You know, we've been talking.

A lot about marriage and relationships, but I am mindful of all the single women out there who are not in a relationship. They're not married, and I just wonder how much does your relationship define you as a human being, as a woman, Like if your husband did go away, does that take part of your.

Existence in who you are? Like, who would you have been just as an individual.

That's a very hard question.

I never really thought about it, but I would like to think I would be basically the same person that I am now, but maybe with a lot more time to do things that are not confined within the family or especially being older, because you no longer take care of children doing those kinds of things.

So I'd imagine it's hard after being with someone since you were eighteen.

So it really is defining it is?

You know, it strikes me that some women define their entire existence by being able to attract a man or attract a husband. Could you be happy if you never you know, if you were never chosen by your boyfriend, if you were single the rest of your life, do you think you would be okay?

If I were to lie to myself, I'd say yes.

But if I were to.

Be like very honest, I don't think so.

Not in the sense of not being chosen, but wanting that companionship, like just wanting that person to come home to, like even now, like I'll be out all day and I'm so excited to come home to someone. But in that same vein, I feel like it shouldn't have to define you. I feel like people should continue to try to live their lives and have their fun and.

Not always seek something.

And I truly do think that things happen to you when you're not actively looking for it. As like cheesy and cliche as that is, like live your life and really develop who you are and who you want to be, because if you're not being real with yourself or you haven't really found yourself, how's anybody going to really be able to mess with you.

I think your situation is a little different because you all grew up together.

But now, you know, friends thirty four, thirty five, you are yourself and ideally that person who you find is accepting you for you, and if that doesn't happen, you're still comfortable with you.

Yeah.

We're starting relationships later, yes, as you know different. My you know, peers started later. Your peers are starting even later. So yeah, it is Look I'll say for me, I do not think it is natural to connect and invest with someone mentally, spiritually and physically and not care if it works out or not, you know, just you know,

How long were you separated.

I think we were separated about maybe seven or eight years years. Yeah.

Wow, that's a really months when you said that.

Oh, no, years, it's about actually separated. It would have been less than that.

But the thing is that at one point I moved to New Jersey to help my daughter. She got divorced, and I was there to help her with her son because she had she had yeah, and when she was in near heading what forty and a very very demanding

You know, eight years is a long time to be apart from your spouse, and I imagine a lot of things can happen in nearly a decade. I'm curious in relationships, what are your deal breakers like, because I feel like, you know, we sometimes people will swallow something that they're not really cool with, or you know, you tolerate something in the bigger picture, I guess, as a plane spoken way to say it is what does your husband get away with? You know, like, what are the things that

Yes, I would basically say it was don't ask, don't tell. I never I never questioned what he was in because I really that was him. So it's not like I'm not that woman to try to follow him or do anything like that to catch see what he's doing. Because I have a lot that I'm doing myself. I have a life that i'm living, you know, working, I had, and in fact, my husband and I when we were separated,

So there are a lot of different things.

That I was trying and doing during that time, and of course being hands on helping with my grandson.

After eight years, I was like, you get used to your own life and your own routine and you know, coming and going in your own way.

So it had to be just real love that that brought you back to that justice.

Yeah, it is.

Because when I think about my husband's he's so funny. He's so charming, and I can always the picture that I have in my mind of him. When Janine d was smaller, we used to go upstate New York like a lot of times in the summertime.

And I clearly remember one time.

We were upstayed and we've stayed in the trailer in the night time. We would look at the stars and everything like that. And we went to the lake the next day and all of a sudden it got cloudy outside. It was dark, the sun went away, was getting cold, and my daughters looked at there has said, could you just please make the sun come out?

And my husband got up there.

And he did all kind of weird things like he was a witch doctor and everything like that.

Do you know the sun came out?

And I said, that man has made the sun come out for us. Ever since that time, I will never ever, I will never ever forget that.

Wow my man.

Wow Wow.

Yeah.

So I mean, if somebody's making the sun come out for you, that's don't.

Draw you back after eight years? What are your deal breaker? It's like, what can It's different because marriage is different. Yeah, a boyfriend, yeah, but even as a boyfriend, like, what can your man get away with?

What can your man get away with?

I'm a little more flexible. I I like to live a donuts don't tell lifestyle. I'm like on a bachelor trip, I need to know, don't come home with nothing you didn't leave with. And that's kind of my perspective on it. But I think the biggest thing for me is trust, Like, don't sneak around. Like if you're getting crazy with your friends, you want to go out all night, have a good time, fine, but like, don't lie. Just tell me what you're doing.

As long ago and he comes back and he says, listen, I'm going to Miami.

What's the fellas, We're going to be kicking it.

We're going to hit the drip clubs as if something goes down, Like I want some freedom this weekend yeah, something goes down with a woman. I don't want to feel like I'm breaking some holy covenant with you. I can't say what's going to happen, but it might, and I want to be upfront with you and tell you this.

Now, you say what, I'm open to that. I think that that needs to go both ways. I think sometimes men aren't as open about that type of stuff because it feels a little more territorial.

But I'm open to that.

I don't need all the details. I don't need to know her name. I don't need to know everything that she done did. But I think if you're like safe and smart, I understand. I don't necessarily believe that someone could be with one person.

For their entire life. I don't know. I don't know, but monogamy is something that you can adjust to.

Yeah. Yeah, but I think that there will be times where looks like there's flexibility.

Yeah yeah, what.

Would you say about that mistake?

I kind of think like I never really you know, you always try to stay positive and think about I think with two daughters a lot of time, that's the last thing on your mind. And see what my husband, his lifestyle was very different anyway because he has was always involved in giving parties and events until today. He's still working and he's eighty three years old, but he's a consultant with the Harlem Chamber of Commerce and they still today he's doing events.

He loves doing those kind of things.

So with him, it's I don't know, like he's out as part of making money. So that's a different situation that I'm that I was in the terms, and.

I gotta say, if I'm in my eighties and I gotta worry about my husband and what he's doing in these streams, I'm at that point like I'm exhausted, because what do you say. You can't say grow up. It's like you're real grown already.

Know this is from his younger days, because I find now that we're both senior citizens and real senior citizen. Yeah, I would basically say that's the best part of our marriage because it's nice when you get older. A lot of times if you're older, you become invisible to people when you're past a certain age, and it's like only like your old friends and or your husband. You can

Yeah.

Yeah, well I'll keep y'all posted on when I experienced some white empathy.

But yes, I take your point. Shadi.

You have been saying that you've been sending your your boyfriend like pictures like this the ring I want this, Oh yes I have.

It's that time.

Yeah. That so that to me that's very interesting because maybe all are both doing and choosing, but you're saying, no, it's time like we are.

How does that work?

Essentially, you're saying it's time for you to propose to me, and that previous in your generation for sure, like men control that entire process.

Yeah, we've had conversations like flat out like would you marry me?

Would you want to get married?

What would you want to do?

And he's like, yes, I would, I would marry you, I'd want to do all of those things. And so I'm like, hey, well, looking at it, I'm being honest about biological clocks. I'm like, looking at the timeline, how things want to go now, I'm kind of envisioning my life. I'd want to be married before I start to think about a family.

And so.

I send those rings on over. I've sent some and he's like these are hideous, No okay, and then others he's like, okay, this will work, and I'm like.

Great, some women are even proposing to men.

Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no no.

What what do you think? Well, why what do you think about?

Like sin, like, hey, here's the ring I want, let's make this happen, or like, hey, brother, will you marry me?

What do you think I think that's fine nowadays to do that because these are really different, you know, different time. Yeah, so I think I have not a problem with women and asking a man to marry them.

Well, we're coming to our closing time, and I want to take a moment of personal privilege and get some advice from you before we go. I am not in a committed relationship. I'm forty four, I would like a life partner. I'm completely open to marriage and what that might look like. I am working on the most important relationship with myself and I want to be okay no matter what happens.

Now.

If I'm all into this man, this one person, and you know it doesn't work out, it's such a disappointment, you know, as it's point in life. And I'm just curious, as a woman who's been married sixty one years, you've gone through ups and downs, you're separated eight years, You've lived this very full life as a mother, a wife, but also just as a woman. You know, take away all that as a woman, you have lived.

A full life.

What advice would you have for me as I'm navigating these issues being middle aged, So.

Don't define yourself as being middle aged. First and foremost, it's just about being a woman and understand standing where you're going and want with what you want out of life, and just how you put that effort into everything else. Put that same effort into into finding that person that's there for you, and it may not. It's not always the brightest bulb.

In the room.

I think a lot of times women limit themselves. I clearly remember one time. I always have stories to tell, and they says a younger. We were at a party. We were all sitting around the table, and then there was the guy that came into the party and always said, oh, he's so nice. Everybody's so sweet. And another guy that was sitting at the table with us said, yeah, but he's not the one that any of you would date. You're always going with the ones that's the worst guys,

Well, I hope I can find a diamond to make the sun come out for it.

But if you don't, and not to worry about it. I have friends today that have never been they've never been married, never have children, and they're my age. They have a great life. They have plenty of money, They travel and do everything. And even I have a two girl friends and her daughter decided to get a townhouse together instead of them all separately spending all of this different money, and the three of them have their privacy

I love that.

Yes, again, this conversation has fed my spirit. I thank you both for sharing your stories. This is why I like having younger people here because you've imparted knowledge as well. You know your your path and representing out younger people view partnership and certainly your stage counsel on just living your life and your experience as a wife has been amazing. I want to close the show by saying marriage is

That is the crux of what makes a marriage work.

And I look forward to having experience if that is God's plan for me. But also, I think just the beauty and magic that come from finding someone who can make the sun come out for you on a class. So best wishes to all of you in your marriage and building beautiful Black love because that's been such a huge part of our superpower as a community. And if you're on that journey to find that love, generate that love. Here first, someone gave me great advice and said, become.

Love and then you will attract love.

Thank you for joining us for this episode of Across Generations and we look forward to talking to you next time. Across Generations is brought to you by Will Packer and will Packer Media in partnership with iHeart Podcast, I'm Your Host and executive producer Tiffany d Cross from Idea to Launch Productions Executive producer Carla will Merit. Produced by Mandy Bee and Angel Forte. Editing, sound design and mix by