(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) Hi, welcome to the Abundant Practice Podcast. I'm Allison from Abundance Practice Building. I have a nearly diagnosable obsession with helping therapists build sustainable, joy-filled private practices, just like I've done for tens of thousands of therapists across the world. I'm excited to help you too. If you want to fill your practice with ideal clients, we have loads of free resources and paid support.
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The majority of Party Plus members fill their practice in three months. Check out Party Plus in the link in the show notes and join the interest list if you're ready to build what you've been dreaming of. Welcome to the Abundant Practice Podcast. I'm your host, Alison Puryear, founder of AbundancePracticeBuilding .com, and I'm here with Shani Gardner.
Shani's going to tell us some of how she went from being a burned-out therapist who was not loving life to making a bunch of changes to make things work so much better for her. Thanks for being here. Yes. I've been looking forward to this for days now, so I'm really excited to jump into it. Yay. Yay. Where should we start? Yeah. I mean, I guess I can start with just, I guess, the trajectory of my career.
So when I graduated with my MSW in 2019, as most therapists, we all have to like sit for those supervision hours and sort of build those clinical skills. And that was probably like the hardest, like three years of my life for many reasons. And so the first job I had, I was doing traumatic grief counseling for folks who had did spear experience violence and traumatic loss, things of that nature. So as you can imagine, really heavy stuff. I think that was like the beginning of the burnout a bit.
And then when the pandemic hit, I knew that I wanted to have like a virtual job and I decided to look into group practices. So I was in Philly at the time, but I moved back home to New York, got hired at a group private practice. It was great at first. And then they sort of transitioned their expectation for therapists to like hit these metrics and bring in as much money and as much clients into the door. On top of all of that, I had a role where I was making the weekly newsletter.
I was onboarding new clinicians. I was creating content for training. So it was just, just an amalgamation of like a lot of things on my plate. And so the burnout was just building. Yeah. Were you getting paid to do those things or were you taking it for the team? So the position that I had was salaried, which was really exciting as a new therapist. A lot of these jobs are like fee for service. So do I think that I maybe could have been paid more for the amount of work that I was doing?
Absolutely. Yeah. And so then I got laid off from this job. I was like totally blindsided. Basically we're just like, yeah, you didn't hit your numbers. So we're just going to let go. I was devastated because I was like, I've done so much. I've put so much of myself into this. And luckily by the time I had been laid off, I did complete my clinical hours. So it happened actually at the perfect time.
And I got laid off November of 2022, sat for my exam, January 2023, opened up the doors to my practice in February of 2023. So it all happened so fast. I like just rapid fire trying to get to a place that felt more secure. And I knew that I wanted to start a private practice because I didn't want to be exploited anymore. Like I didn't ever want to have my future in the hands of someone else, especially when I felt like I did so much to sort of build that security at this place, which was false.
I didn't actually have it. So as you can imagine, I started my private practice from almost like a place of deficit. Like I was so burnt out. I was exhausted. I had no idea what I was doing and I just felt this sense of like urgency. I also kind of describe myself as like a perfectionist. So I was like, I need to perfect being a business owner. I was looking at every free training and YouTube video and this and that. And I was just like inundated with so much information.
And you know, it was really helpful to have such a wide variety of resources. And thank you so much for the free resources that you provide to your community. It was great, but I knew that something had to change. Just the way that I was running my practice. Another big thing that I was doing a lot of the time was just like saying yes to any client. Yeah, it's so dangerous. So I was just like, yes to this person. Yes to that person.
I think one, because in the beginning stages of being a therapist, they kind of train you to like take everyone and sort of learn as much as you can. And that's just the mindset that I brought into my private practice as well of, yeah, just take anyone who can pay my rate, which at the time, I mean, I don't accept insurance. I'm an out-of-network provider. And so I really was just like anyone who pay it, like I'll take them.
And then I just found myself kind of dreading some of the work days, like definitely having the Sunday scaries, anticipating how hard the week was going to be. I had no idea how to market myself or to really do anything, stay organized. I just was struggling. So one day I realized I just can't do this anymore. Like something has to change. And I would say that there's three major things that changed for me that I was really intentional about changing.
So the first thing was mindset, because I do believe to like recover from burnout, it takes two things to change. Our internal world, like how we're interpreting things, how we're thinking about things, what things mean to us or not mean to us, but also these external changes. Like I have to change how I'm running my business, how I spend my day-to -day, what my schedule looks like, all of that kind of stuff.
And I just sort of one day, like a switch went off and I was like, I got to do something here. Yeah. So the first thing I did was I invested in a business coach because I had to admit to myself that like, I don't know, like, this is a skill that I've never been taught. I don't know. And I think specifically for women of color, or at least in my experience, I've always sort of felt like I got to do it all on my own and like bootstrap this thing.
I have to be like super woman and like be perfect at it at the same time. So it actually took a lot for me to decide to like actually invest in myself. And that was like the biggest sort of leap that I had to go through. I'm very grateful that I did because I learned how to market myself, how to organize my business, how to just run a business since that was the part that I had no idea how to do. And I also really got intention about building a sense of community around me as well.
Private practice is so lonely. I also think as like women of color, we thrive in community. I mean, I think we all do, but especially in a field that is predominantly white to find other like-minded women of color therapists, like doing the things that I aspire to do was so important to me. So I was doing like professional development, peer support groups, meeting new people on Instagram, which was a great gift to have. So I really prioritized.
I had to decide like, I do not have to do this alone, which was huge. What did you have to give up to get there? That's a really good question. Definitely my pride. That's a big one because again, like I've always thought, you know, I'm smart. I can do everything on my own. Like I got this. And although those are, you know, wonderful qualities and, you know, it shows my strengths. I had to admit that I had deficits. I had blind spots. I had parts of my life that I just didn't know how to do.
And that felt so vulnerable to actually admit that I needed help. Yeah. So I had to set aside my pride, set aside ego and also like give up the inner critic, I think as well, because my inner critic this whole time is like, no, you should be able to do this alone. Or like, you should know what you're doing. I was just shooting myself so much. So I had to put that to rest as well. And that one's so interesting because it's not like we're like, I should know how to do therapy on my own, right?
It's a completely different skill set, marketing and running a business. But I think that there's this thing for a lot of therapists where like we're people who have achieved a lot, like we're sometimes our worth is more bound up in that than it should be. But, you know, we got into grad school. We completed grad school. We passed the licensure exam. Like we did all these things on our own, most of us. And so there's this sense of like, well, I have a lot of self efficacy. I'll figure it out.
And ultimately, yeah, we'll all figure it out. But on what timeline and at what level of burnout will you be at once you've had it figured out? Yes. If there's a fast track, I think about Candyland, that game and like those little slides or maybe it shoots and ladders. There's a little slide, you know, like if there's a slide available, like take it. Take it. Yes. And I think that there's something to be said about the like grind.
Like I distinctly remember myself when I got my social work degree. I was like, I'm going to be in the trenches for like a couple of decades. Like I'm going to work for the agencies, for the government. I'm going to, you know, sacrifice myself for this career. And maybe I'll do private practice when I'm 60 and I'm, you know, ready to have an easy life.
And there's something about even just the socialization of a social worker that like we are supposed to sacrifice ourselves and our wellbeing at the hands of service for other people. And then you add on some of the socialization of being a woman of color onto that. It just compounds and it just adds to the burnout exponentially. So yeah, it's really hard to go off plan. And I think that that's what was happening for me.
It was, I was like, oh my God, I had the last couple of years just like neatly sort of planned for myself. The layoff totally threw a wrench in it and I just had to like pivot. And that just was very scary at the time. So yeah. You mentioned like a false sense of security that you'd had at that job. I had a similar thing happen. I was working for a nonprofit. They were paying us therapists, licensed therapists, like $25,000 a year at this nonprofit. Oh goodness. And like, we were all in.
We were all just in because we cared and we loved it. And then we got a new executive director. Ours moved away and everything changed. And she would scream at us in meetings. Like it became a very abusive, and ironically it was a like sexual assault center. So she became like an abusive workplace essentially. And then the therapists, we were the ones who were like, this is inappropriate. It's not okay to talk to me like that. I sent a formal complaint to the board. I did that.
And then every therapist got laid off. Wow. And my gosh, none of us saw it coming. And they were like, we just decided as a board that like we didn't need therapists for sexual assault centers. And we were like, wow, that is outrageous. But I thought, I mean, they're paying us so little. Who else are they going to get to come do this work? We care. We're here.
We're safe. And I mean, I've heard stories from people in group practices, in government agencies, in so many different, in nonprofits, so many different organizations that hire therapists that really truly believe they were safe and were totally blindsided by the exact kind of thing where we're told that working for someone else is a safer choice than working for ourselves. But damn it, we do have that self -efficacy and we will figure it out. Anything is tough in our own practices. But yeah.
Yeah. So it's a story I hear so often and I hate that it happened to you. And also I love that it happened to you because it got you to this other place. Yes. Yes. And thank you so much for sharing your story. That is just outrageous that it's so commonplace for this to happen to, I mean, we're a helping profession. Our job is to be a support, but where's our support? Essentially, we have to build it ourselves, which takes a lot of labor to have to do.
But again, I'm very grateful to be able to have autonomy, to be able to have choice, to be able to even just like when you work for a place, you don't get to choose your coworkers. But when you work for private practice, you get to choose who your peers are. You get to choose who you connect with and who can support you. And I don't think I would be where I am today without the supports that I was able to create and be a part of while I was building my practice. So such a gift.
I'm really happy about it. Absolutely. I'm curious, like the burnout while you were working for someone else, how did that feel the same and different from the burnout that you felt when your practice was not optimized in any way? Yeah, that's a great question. So the burnout for the other job that I had and other jobs that I've had, there was always this idea of like, this is just temporary because maybe I'll get a promotion or maybe the scope of my work might change.
Like I always wanted to have like some clinical work, but I was kind of like on a track to be just again, what makes the layoff so devastating. But I was on track to like be more integrated in the community, making trainings, doing orientation and like being a support to other people. So when I was burnt out, I was like, this is only temporary. I just got to like, you know, earn my stripes to get to that point where it's going to be easier.
And there's always like this destination that I was trying to reach. Versus when I was burnt out in my own private practice, I couldn't see far past like what was just right before me. If that makes sense, like I was very much in survival mode. I was just like, I just got to get through the day. And I think it felt much more challenging because I'm so used to my steps being ordered for there to be a ladder to climb or a goal to reach. And to be an entrepreneur, you don't really have that.
Or if you do, you have to create it yourself. And that takes a lot of like intention and reflection and, you know, exploring your values. It takes a lot more work to figure out how do I get out of this? Versus when I was working for someone else, I was like, oh, I know how I'll get out of this. It's just a matter of time before I get that promotion. Does that answer your question? It does.
Yeah. Yeah. And I think that the zooming out piece that doesn't happen in private practice ends up getting a lot of people in a bad way. Yes. We have an entire program only for full therapists who are in that situation where it's like they've got some gold in handcuffs, right? Because they don't want to lose what they built, but they also need to not be seeing 35 clients a week. They need, you know. Yes. So I see it all the time.
And we have a course to prevent it in the party called Build the Right Practice because there's not a lot of intentionality that goes into what do I want with private practice? Because everybody's like, how do I replace my income? Or how do I pay my bills? It does come more from that sense of desperation for so many people.
Yes. I'm so glad that you bring this up because I think another piece of my healing from burnout was to really sit and reflect on like, what are these internal beliefs that I have that are fueling the burnout? Because I could get a new job. I could, you know, change my caseload and all those things are important. But I do feel like I internalized a lot of like capitalistic ideals that like only caused me pain.
Yeah. Because in my brain, I'm just like, well, I have to like make more than I was making before. And that sort of lent itself to like accepting all of the clients that I maybe weren't the right fit for me. And so I had this moment where I was like, I need to de-center money. Like that can't be the one thing that is guiding me and my business. Because it also, it kind of, it can show up in the clinical work as well.
So like, I'm really resentful if a client cancels, even though they gave me more than enough notice, right? Like there's just so many ways that it can come up, not just in myself, but in my clinical work. And so I knew that I had a lot of internal work to sort of undo some of the capitalistic things that are ingrained in all of us. I might say being, especially in this country. So a lot of work to slow things down. I also had to drop the sense of urgency as well. That's hard. Oh, man.
I really did. I was, I, and I, again, my supportive community, my own therapist, my friends, my family. I was just really held in this moment because it was so vulnerable for me to be like, no, I literally have to overhaul everything I've ever believed about my career. And so decentering money, I think was the hardest because we're all working for money. Like we're all trying to survive under this capitalistic, you know, society and the structure. And it felt counterintuitive to decenter money.
But what actually happened is I was able to really reflect on my values. Like what's most, what's actually most important for me. If I take money out of the equation, let's say I just had a pool of money sitting somewhere and I was just being a therapist just to be a therapist, what would that look like? And I really had to sit and reflect on, I really want to support other women of color, specifically Black women. I really want to do like racial trauma work.
I really wanted to do things that felt like very deep rooted. And if I'm just taking anyone, that kind of gets in the way of me doing like this deeper work that I was really passionate about at the time and still am, of course. So I really centered like connection, good fit. I niched down very specifically. So I work with Black women who experienced perfectionism, anxiety, people-pleasing, those kinds of things. And I got really specific.
And I was like, this is not only going to build me clinically, but it will also fulfill me as a therapist. Personally, I feel so connected to this work and actually like was able to attract more clients and be able to have good marketing skills. The moment that I was like, money is not the sole thing that matters here. It's actually connection, good fit, and what I feel most confident in to help clients get through and move through.
So it's actually, it feels counterintuitive, but actually was the best that I could have done. Oh, and I love that you say that. I have a similar experience where I had a daughter with a chronic illness and we were having like five appointments a week, like back and forth to the children's hospital. It was a lot.
And there was a point where I was like, I don't want to pause my business, but I have to be okay with making less this year because I can't be a good mom and make the kind of money that I made last year. I just can't do it. So I pulled back with abundance significantly one year and made twice the amount of money. There's a giving up, a willingness that I really focused on the things I enjoyed. And then it all worked out.
And I see sometimes the therapists who aren't getting traction is because they are so money oriented. They're so driven by the money exclusively because they're in a desperate place or they've convinced themselves they're in a desperate place. That's another interesting distinction. Yes. We can really convince ourselves that things are in the toilet when they're like really just at the bathroom door.
Yes. That sense of urgency, you are able to give up when you give that up and you can be more present and you can build community and you can be more in your life and enjoy yourself with your relationships. I mean, it's night and day, your daily lived experience. It completely changed my life. Because again, like I have been there and I 100% understand when we are operating from a scarcity and from like a survival place, we do almost like hoard and try to get as much, as much, as much.
And it makes sense. And just because it makes sense doesn't mean it's good for us either. Like it sort of causes a lot of pain and distress and burnout, of course. If you could talk to every therapist right now and just tell them anything or anything that you think could really help them with burnout, with job dissatisfaction, what would you say? Oh man, I have so many ideas popped into my head.
I think the two things that stand out to me the most, one is really connect to your values and to your why. Because at the end of the day, capitalism, expectations from bosses, caseload numbers, all of those things are going to pull you away from like what actually matters. And reminding yourself of like why you got into this work because most likely it wasn't for the money. I mean, no therapist is like, I'm going to be rich.
There are many other avenues we would have taken if it was for the money. Exactly. And that doesn't mean that we don't deserve a living wage and to live in abundance. And that can't be the center. We have to really focus on like our why, what we were put here to do, what feels most aligned with our passions, our skillset, our expertise, our zone of genius, how I like to call it. So that's number one is like really just get very, very specific and acquainted with that.
And then let that guide your decisions. Let that sort of give you a path to go down. Not anyone else's path, no one else's suggestions or recommendations or whatever the case may be. Use what actually matters to you to guide you. So that's number one. Number two, and this feels like a broken record because I talk about this all the time, but self-care is, it is necessary because we cannot pour from an empty cup.
If we're running on empty, there is very little left of us to give to our clients, to our families, to our friends, even to ourselves. And so I think another thing that helped me a lot in building my private practice is I was very boundaried and very protective of my schedule, of my time.
I like carved out little 30-minute breaks throughout the day so I could just breathe or just lay and stare at the ceiling, sort of decompress because I had been so used to scheduling folks back to back to back and then feeling like a zombie by the end of the day. I was like, no, what's stopping me from just giving myself 20 minutes to just decompress between each session? Not worry about the notes right now, not worry about this or that, just me time.
And so I do think my second sort of thing to all therapists is like really get specific about setting your boundaries and creating space for you to take care of yourself with intention and thoughtfulness. I love it. It's good. It's hard and it's good. Ah, it's so hard, but it's worth it. It's definitely worth the challenge to know your why, know your values and prioritize your own needs at the end of the day. Absolutely. And it becomes habit over time. So it's not constantly hard.
Then it's like, I would never see somebody at that time. No way, never. When in the past it was like, oh, I feel so bad saying no. Yes, it gets easier. It gets easier. Absolutely. Well, Shawnee, how can people get in touch with you if they want to say, Hey, and thank you? Yeah. So feel free to follow me on Instagram. My handle is soulful grace wellness. So I create a lot of content specifically for women of color therapists looking to recover from burnout and build sustainable private practices.
And I also have a free Facebook groups for women of color therapists wanting to recover from burnout and build a private practice. And I don't remember the name of the Facebook group right now, but I will send it to you. And hopefully we can have it in the notes. Absolutely. Awesome. Well, thank you so much for your time and for talking with us today. Thank you so much. If you're ready for a much easier practice, therapy notes is the way to go.
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