The new federal deficit is the government's research deficit. ----- Elon Musk's aimless cost-cutting escapades turn to the SEC where DOGE slashed their Westlaw access because no one over there is smart enough to know how legal research works. Apparently now is an opportune time to start committing securities fraud! Speaking of aimless, former judge Alex Kozinski penned a meandering opinion piece about canceling elections in case, maybe, some president might want to consider it. And a few law sch...
Feb 26, 2025•34 min•Season 1Ep. 403
'Nah, you do that' is not a response that keeps lawyers employed. ----- Imagine the audacity it takes for a rookie lawyer to refuse to do the work assigned by a midlevel or senior associate. And expect to keep their job? The story of a beleaguered midlevel asking for help with an unruly junior refusing to work has us wondering if the kids are not all right. Also the administration starts calling for impeachment when a judge imposes a TRO of less than a week and that doesn't bode well for when th...
Feb 19, 2025•35 min•Season 1Ep. 402
And Biglaw begins adjusting to Trump era. ------ If United Healthcare considered spending more on a cancer patient and less on lawyers to sue doctors for pointing out they didn't spend on the cancer patient they wouldn't be getting so thoroughly dragged online. While the mockery they're getting is funny, this underscores the dangerous weaponization of defamation (and also copyright) laws, allowing deep pocketed antagonists to squelch criticism by filing low merit suits. Also, a Biglaw firm quiet...
Feb 12, 2025•34 min•Season 1Ep. 401
Getting the band back together. ----- A jumbo sized episode this week as Thinking Like A Lawyer celebrates its 400th episode with a look back at some big changes in law firms, law schools, and the courts that have unfolded over its last 10 years of podcasting. Original co-host Elie Mystal from The Nation joins the gang to share his thoughts. He's not particularly optimistic.
Feb 05, 2025•49 min
Government lawyer purge creates chaos ----- Trump administration slashes jobs for young lawyers months before they officially start sparking a scramble for jobs. The Justice Department followed up that news by terminating career DOJ lawyers for the sin of having worked on Trump's criminal cases. One Biglaw firm informs its associates that they're not getting their full bonuses based on office attendance . While we're at it... should lawyers rely on law firm bonuses anyway? And a professor gets d...
Jan 29, 2025•37 min•Season 1Ep. 399
You've got to know when to hold 'em. Know when to fold 'em. ------ Supreme Court litigator Tom Goldstein, co-founder of SCOTUSblog, is on the wrong side of the law facing a multi-count indictment related to the alleged fallout of a hard-core gambling lifestyle . All while routinely arguing multiple cases in front of the Supreme Court. Legen...wait for it...dary. Also Proskauer proves that every rose has its thorn and Yale stares down on of the most epic downgrades in law school history ....
Jan 22, 2025•33 min•Season 1Ep. 398
Attorneys yearn for the commute. ----- Sullivan & Cromwell are bringing attorneys back to the office five days a week . The stated reason is to mirror "normal business hours" which is a cruel joke in an abnormal business hour industry . Democratic Party superlawyer Marc Elias faces an uprising at his firm after staff proposed a mandatory arbitration agreement despite many of his top clients openly campaigning on... banning mandatory arbitration agreements. Finally, Wilson Sonsini hands out b...
Jan 15, 2025•30 min•Season 1Ep. 397
Statutes are hard. ----- Apparently, Clarence Thomas just didn't understand how to read the nearly 50-year-old statute requiring him to report massively expensive gifts. That's the Judicial Conference's official take in a new letter to the Senate panel looking into the ethical cesspool. The letter becomes public just as Chief Justice Roberts releases his annual report asserting that most criticism of the Court should be seen as improper intimidation and even violence . Before the holidays, we di...
Jan 08, 2025•35 min•Season 1Ep. 396
A very jolly podcast. ----- It's a very special holiday episode of Thinking Like A Lawyer with three straight "Ho" stories. First, Hogan Lovells irks associates with a bonus announcement without matching the industry standard special bonuses . Meanwhile, law enforcement just can't help making Luigi Mangione look more like a sexy martyr and now someone claiming to be UnitedHealthcare is trying to assert ownership of his likeness . And Judge James Ho walks back his prior support for birthright cit...
Dec 26, 2024•35 min•Season 1Ep. 395
Bringing new meaning to the court's order. ----- Can lunch save professional civility? Almost assuredly not, but one judge is going to try . Partnership isn't what it used to be. Instead of long careers with equity ownership, partners are making lateral jumps with more frequency than ever . More out of the murder of a Kentucky judge earlier this year... " running a brothel out of that courtroom " sounds ominous. ----- (00:00)Small Talk (02:15)Mysterious Drone Sightings (07:20)Lawyer Lunch Date (...
Dec 18, 2024•29 min•Season 1Ep. 394
Elon's got some thoughts on the judicial system. ----- Elon Musk says his AI will be able to deliver judicial opinions as soon as he feeds it "all" the cases . It will not, but his impulse sheds some light on a disturbing lack of respect for the rule of law. A pair of judges planning to take senior status as soon as Biden confirmed their successors have withdrawn their plans after the Senate sat on their proposed openings. And law school applications are up big time... and that's not good news f...
Dec 11, 2024•34 min•Season 1Ep. 393
Get it? Combining two of the stories into one relevant title? ----- A pregnant law student sought modest accommodations when finals came over her due date. The school rejected the request saying, " Motherhood is not for the Faint of Heart ." It did not go over well with fellow students. Or alumni. Or faculty. Or pretty much anyone. Drake accused the music industry of conspiring to help Kendrick demolish him in rap battle . RICO claims? They really not like us. Finally, Jonathan Turley accused li...
Dec 04, 2024•32 min•Season 1Ep. 392
'Hey, please don't open this' is not a policy. ----- A law firm left its confidential internal documents with juicy information unprotected and was shocked, SHOCKED to find out attorneys read them . Pam Bondi is next at bat for the Attorney General job. While her decision to drop an official investigation into Trump University conveniently after he started supporting her will get a lot of attention, don't sleep on the TAIL of her fight over another family's dog . And, finally, we have an un-bear...
Nov 27, 2024•34 min•Season 1Ep. 391
Also... Matt Gaetz as Attorney General is something we have to contemplate? ----- The Federalist Society conference included a tour de force in rhetorical fallacy from the Fifth Circuit's Judge Edith Jones, suggesting that it's an attack on the "rule of law" to talk about court reform and that such criticism results in death threats! Very cool. Very judicial. We also have a disturbing story out of Biglaw , and discuss the instant reaction to Matt Gaetz being nominated to serve as Attorney Genera...
Nov 20, 2024•38 min•Season 1Ep. 390
The race is on. ----- It's the most wonderful time of the year! Milbank continues to relish its role as the Pied Piper of Biglaw bonuses, once again jumping the traditional late November bonus announcement kickoff to set the bar for 2024 annual bonuses . We also learned that a number of firms make non-equity pay a share of the partnership expenses despite holding no equity . And one partner out there is using work email to complain about the neighbors with offensive terminology ....
Nov 13, 2024•31 min•Season 1Ep. 389
That Governing Document Can't Stop Me Because I Can't Read! ----- Sammy Alito openly defies the Constitution with European knighthood . Chicago Law tapes classes but isn't interested in letting students actually use those recordings. Students are, unsurprisingly, pissed . Professor Richard Epstein brags about replacing scientists with judges. Yes, the same guy who said COVID would only kill 500 people and got the first Trump administration sold on the idea. And mark your calendars for the lawyer...
Nov 06, 2024•31 min•Season 1Ep. 388
Also, Tiffany may be number 1 in his heart (she's not), but she's also not number 1 in her class. ----- Of all the iconic lines from Dr. Strangelove, maybe the best is "You can't fight in here. This is the War Room!" Recently, Harvard began punishing students (and faculty) for silent library protests while studying almost as though maintaining a "non-disruptive atmosphere" isn't the school's real concern. Donald Trump brags about Tiffany Trump's class ranking... even though her law school doesn'...
Oct 30, 2024•31 min•Season 1Ep. 387
The republican party of the 1990s must be turning over in its grave because the modern GOP is arguing teen pregnancy is a good thing. Equity partnership in Biglaw is a financial windfall, unless you're in the 10-30% of partners getting a compensation cut . And do you like messy, I mean MESSY, legal drama? Th e latest from the Texas bankruptcy court romantic scandal is eye popping....
Oct 23, 2024•29 min•Season 1Ep. 386
From young attorneys to the Chief Justice, a lot of lawyers are dropping the ball. ----- We've got some young lawyers out there who don't understand the basics of professionalism and it runs a lot deeper than just lacking experience. That said, there are some experienced attorneys falling down on fulfilling a different set of professional obligations . Meanwhile, Chief Justice Roberts is apparently very, very sad that the public didn't appreciate his latest Constitutional rewrite....
Oct 16, 2024•39 min•Season 1Ep. 385
Why not? ----- Kathryn Mizelle was rated unqualified by the ABA and it shows. The Trump appointee just took it upon herself to rewrite the law despite acknowledging that higher courts have explicitly declined to do so. But she's a very special snowflake apparently. Law school rankings are primed for a major shuffle if we're to believe the available data. And... why do we need a new Matlock?...
Oct 09, 2024•18 min•Season 1Ep. 384
The majority of the Supreme Court keeps diluting bribery laws and Eric Adams had best hope they aren't done yet. ----- Eric Adams got indicted last week and quickly pulled out the big litigation guns to explain that the Supreme Court already said bribery was cool . Meanwhile, Jonathan Turley rushed to the embattled mayor's defense to explain why ACTUALLY it was way worse that AOC once wore a borrowed dress to a party . Judge Pauline Newman's fight to end the pocket impeachment her colleagues on ...
Oct 02, 2024•33 min•Season 1Ep. 383
Why do professors think everyone has to personally experience the facts to understand the law? ----- Hardcore porn shows up in a law school lecture . You know, the rest of us managed to learn the relevant standards for obscenity laws within the context of the First Amendment without visual aides. Also, Diddy's lawyers forgot how track changes works with embarrassing results. And Judge Aileen Cannon doesn't know her Founding Fathers ... how a flubbed disclosure form speaks to Originalism's cynica...
Sep 25, 2024•30 min•Season 1Ep. 380
Is bigger better? ----- Law firms are merging like crazy with announcement after announcement after announcement . What's driving this big push and is this just going to be the way of the future? Also a judge invites us to meet the new racist, same as the old racist and we discuss the next must have for anyone taking depositions ....
Sep 18, 2024•31 min•Season 1Ep. 381
This week's episode of Thinking Like A Lawyer is all about the wild decisions made by federal judges. First up is a Trump judge doing Trump judge things -- but don't tell him that. There's a Ninth Circuit judge that keeps using his dissents to make political stump speeches, much to the chagrin of his colleagues. And the Second Circuit comes out against libraries , because we live in the dumbest timeline....
Sep 11, 2024•33 min•Season 1Ep. 382
It's not so easy to bring everyone back. ----- Latham announced a new 4-day office work week, bucking the 3-day consensus, but attorneys are wondering where they plan to put everybody . Meanwhile Milbank is so eager to get to work that they're inviting first-years to start early . Another firm joins the non-equity partner ranks , and the DOJ files an antitrust case with some of the hottest docs ever ....
Aug 28, 2024•40 min•Season 1Ep. 379
Just because you can make an argument, doesn't mean you should. ----- Disney's lawyers made headlines last week, but not the good kind like you want. After lawyers argued that a free trial to Disney+ required a wrongful death suit to move to forced arbitration, we wondered how everyone from outside to inside counsel dropped the ball here. Immediately after recording, Disney backtracked . Also, is Skadden falling behind? And we talk legal technology!...
Aug 21, 2024•34 min•Season 1Ep. 378
Milbank is leading the associate compensation charge -- again -- with summer bonuses. The associate there must be thrilled... Unlike DLA Piper's associates. That firm changed course on office attendance and it's going over like a lead balloon. Elon Musk also changed course, because when he told advertisers to go F themselves he really meant, "if you don't do what I want you to do I'll sue you."
Aug 14, 2024•31 min•Season 1Ep. 377
Talking Supreme Court term limits (they're good!), bar exams (they're bad!), and a law professor's conception of free speech (it's ugly!). ----- The bar exam is officially past, now we wait to learn passed. This year's examination included dehydrating applicants and examinees missing out on their family's Olympic success . While bar exam changes are coming -- and law students can get paid to help -- at the end of the day it's a giant boondoggle pushed by people who've never even taken the test ....
Aug 07, 2024•37 min•Season 1Ep. 376
Should we pay associates more and partners less? That's what this client thinks . Nikki Haley is threatening legal action against her supporters . Top notch politicking! Panel thinks that, maybe, a NY judge who threatened to shoot teenagers shouldn't stay on the job ....
Jul 31, 2024•31 min•Season 1Ep. 375
J.D. Vance brought Yale Law back into the spotlight. ----- As soon as J.D. Vance found himself on the GOP ticket, everyone who remembered him from his Yale Law days shared their thoughts and brought out their receipts . “JD’s rise is a triumph for angry jerks everywhere,” isn't a ringing endorsement. The campaign also tried to pull a fast one with some tricky phrasing about his time on the Yale Law Journal . Kirkland & Ellis adopts a carrot and stick approach -- rewarding associates for recr...
Jul 24, 2024•38 min•Season 1Ep. 374
