Cindy Thompson - A Resilience Project Podcast
Episode 80 - Bob Goff – Everybody Always
EP80 Bob Goff MP3
Hello friends, I am Cindy Thompson and this is A Resilience Project. This is a space where stories are shared and possibilities are discovered. I invite you to partner with me in cultivating resilience among humans, one conversation at a time.
Have you done anything lately that just completely terrified you? If you did, how vulnerable did you feel? Well, when I started this podcast two years ago, I was terrified. It has probably been one of the most vulnerable, yet lifegiving decisions, I have made in years, maybe ever. If you haven't stepped out of your comfort zone lately, you might be denying yourself an opportunity to discover your strengths, to grow, and maybe even find a sense of purpose. I can't express enough the surprising and rewarding bonuses that have come along from this experience, and yet it would not be possible without the team of volunteers that have jumped on board to put this together. To celebrate our two year anniversary since starting the podcast, we are replaying episode one with New York Times bestselling author Bob Goff. In this conversation we are talking about cleaning house and letting go of patterns or beliefs that no longer serve us, while also adding in the elements that help us lead a life that is supercharged, super engaged. Find out how connection can be an antidote to loneliness and how we can cultivate resilience by serving others. With such a sweet opportunity to be in conversation with Bob, I was not only nervous to be doing my very first episode, but also terrified of messing up this great conversation with Bob. On a side note, if you have been listening to some of our recent episodes, I hope that you will notice a bit of growth from this very first episode to 80 episodes later. It could be hard to start something new and be a beginner, but some of the best advice came from author Neil Pasricha who said, Just jump in and start.” Here is my conversation with Bob.
All right, Bob, well I'm so happy to have you here with me today. I am very privileged to be able to sit and have a conversation and to see your lovely face.
Bob Goff
Yeah, this is great. I'm so glad I get the benefit that some of your other folks don't - I get to see you. But I want to greet everybody who's listening and I'm just looking forward to having a conversation today.
Cindy Thompson - A Resilience Project
Lovely. Well, as you know, 'cause we've been chatting a little bit recently and I just want to put this out there because I signed up to do some coaching with Bob with his Dream Big program that he's offering in his book and I've been able to have some conversations with Bob lately and I just really want to acknowledge that because of your encouragement, you really challenged me and got me out there doing something a little bit more out of my comfort zone. But you pulled out that thread that I wanted to do something really meaningful. And so, as we've been talking, you know, being able to reach more people, be able to do something like A Resilience Project that could do something in people’s backyard that they might not have thought of and you're a great example of that.
Bob Goff
Yeah, I think what you do is you use what's available to you and one of the things that we have available to us is each other, and during these difficult times we can find a way to still maneuver together safely. But more than ever to have, I love it you're calling this The Resilience Project, because I think we need to build this resilience, you know, just like sprinkle Pixie dust and now you're resilient. I think you develop those muscles and part of it is to find other people to run with. I've told you about this ranch we have and there's a horse that we're trying to break, educate, named Silver and Silver is mean like a rattlesnake, but Silver isn't a bad horse. It just doesn't know that it's a good horse yet.
Cindy Thompson - A Resilience Project
I like that.
Bob Goff
And so what we do is we tie Silver to a big horse, and so with me or whoever on top of Silver tied to a bigger horse. Then Silver is getting in touch with his better angels because Silver has not been in touch with those better angels just yet. So find a big horse to go to, and I think this idea of gatherings together is brilliant. Find some people that are moving in the direction that you are that want to have authentic conversations and you're really onto something.
Cindy Thompson - A Resilience Project
Well, thank you and I do think that we are stronger together. So, as we share our stories as we encourage one another, you've kind of pulled out a piece there that stands out for me that you know people are worried about grocery stores and people are complaining that they're too close and you can hear the anxiety that Silver might be experiencing in amongst adversity, right? And how can we have more grace for those that might be just really nervous and really kind of anxious about, “What if I get sick? And what if I get this COVID?” And so that's a great example of, you know, how can we rely on each other to trust each other as well?
Bob Goff
Yeah, once you can see it then you have the chance to understand it and then you have the opportunity to fix it. But if you're just skipping across the desk and you're just like getting pushed around by everything going to you, you're not seeing anything. You're just freaked out, which is a Silver resting position is freaked out. But as soon as we have a direction, Silver’s strapped to something it's moving that direction, Silver’s like, “Oh wow, this is what horses do? They don't just kick everything?” They actually can channel that into running faster. I think Silver can be really fast race horse. He’s just not a very good corral horse, which is good 'cause I just want to get Silver out on the track then but what it's going to take is a little bit of direction. Just and so that's what you offer. I think that's what we can give each other is a little direction to say, “Where do you want to go?” instead of telling people what they ought to do, to remind them about who they are. And then, they’ll oftentimes people will know the right direction to take the next step in.
Cindy Thompson - A Resilience Project
Great point because as I've been thinking about the conversations that I will continue to have with folks, I think about the importance of asking, “What does help look like? How can I be helpful?” and not assuming we know best for somebody else.
Bob Goff
Yeah, and not even assuming that somebody can access what they need. So, if you have a person that's in crisis and you say, “Hey if you need anything, just let me know.” I'd be like, “Oh my gosh, I just lost a spouse of 34 years. Like the chances that I'll know what I need right now are so small,” but it's well-intentioned. But I think what you could do is, “Would it be OK if I checked in on you on Tuesdays? Would it be OK if I...” so that having an intention of leaning towards but then not putting it on them to know what they need. “Hey, if I can do anything for you let me know.” I'd be like, “I don't know man.”
Cindy Thompson - A Resilience Project
Good point, 'cause I think we do that a lot, right? We just assume.
Bob Goff
Ya, it’s well-intentioned, you don't know what to say so you just say something that is the omnibus, but it's sometimes it’s just settle that down and to say, “You know what?” If I could just say, “Can I just mow your lawn? Would that be creepy if I just did that on Tuesdays? And you don't even need to come out,” but if they wanted somebody to talk to, they know you'd be there Tuesday.
Cindy Thompson - A Resilience Project
Right on. Well and I was reflecting, I know this goes back to one of your previous books, but your story about Carol, your neighbor, and when she was struggling with cancer. I loved the story about the walkie talkies. Can you tell that just--?
Bob Goff
Yes, Oh yeah, I'd be delighted. I'm still wearing her hat all these years later.
Carol was a big Red Sox fan and she got cancer and so rather than having her feel alone, we got a couple walkie talkies and we put one in her bedroom and one in our bedroom. And then we just talked on the walkie talkies. And it was such a beautiful way to be involved. And it wasn't the last neighbor that we did that with. Our neighbor right across the street, Zeda, she didn’t want walkie talkies but she said, “Could you just listen in on me?” I'm like, “Are you sure that's not like creepy? That sounds creepy!” So I said, “Well, we could get like a baby monitor and you could put it in whatever room you want us to listen in on.” And she said, “I really don't want to talk to anybody,” 'cause she was to herself, but if she said it would just feel really good if somebody was listening in and sure enough, we heard a thump in the night one time and I got to run over and spend her last couple minutes with somebody and so and it was just we were like one Hasbro $39.00 baby monitor away so I wouldn't put a baby monitor in somebody house unless you're invited to.
Cindy Thompson - A Resilience Project
Sure! Good point.
Bob Goff
Or you're gonna spend a little time in jail, but if somebody invited you to, that could be just such a beautiful way or get a walkie-talkie or send a note. Or you can string 2 peach cans together, even if it didn't work it would kind of work. Just the thought that there's a string between you and the house across the street until a big truck comes by. There would be this like--
Cindy Thompson - A Resilience Project
Oh, big rumbling.
Bob Goff
Yeah, well, no they would actually take out the string and your Peach cans.
Cindy Thompson - A Resilience Project
Oh, I see. Oh, the the string of course.
Bob Goff
But one of the things I was thinking about is to find ways that people would be like, not symbolically and actually connected. And that's one thing that you're good at. You're just saying can there be times where we could connect together and, uh, and a couple Peach cans in a string will do it, but actually lunch will do it too.
Cindy Thompson - A Resilience Project
Yes, well, and it's just. I think it's about being seen, heard and understood. And to spend time with people, be curious and find out more about them and you know another example came to mind was, you know the story of your yellow truck many years ago and you would come back. You parked a few blocks from work I believe, and you'd come back to new truck and there'd be a homeless guy sitting in your truck.
Bob Goff
Every day, yeah, but then we became friends and he never asked my name and I never asked his. But we ended up getting to know each other. None of the locks on my truck worked and and I was kind of glad that they didn't because so he would have a place to stay out of the rain. And when he get a little cool outside, he could go in there. But then one day I came back and there's beer bottles and all that in there, and there was no more homeless guy because he was, he made a mistake. I don't know if it was a friend of his or him or whatever, but we spent a little bit of time talking about what shame does to us that it takes us away from safe places like he had it dialed in the front seat of my pickup truck until something just went wonky. I don't know whose fault it was. I ruled myself out as a possible conspirator on that.
Cindy Thompson - A Resilience Project
Oh good.
Bob Goff
But to just say, like when shame comes in then you leave these safe places you've made for yourself and so all the more reason to find, uh, you know the posse of people that you're running with. To just say, find a safe place where you can just say, “I want to return. I don't want to. I want to return to a safe place. I want to go to places that nurture me and feed me so that I can then go out and give that to my friends and my family and all that.” And it, just, it takes some guts. And if you're listening, just make the time. Just say, “I'm gonna do it one time, I'm not saying I'm gonna do it for a year,” and you do it. Yeah, for a day. And see how that goes, and there's something beautiful about just starting.
Cindy Thompson - A Resilience Project
Yes, well, and that's what stood up about that story is that you weren't scared about it. You didn't call the police, you just let it happen day after day after day. And that was the humanistic side of it that really stood out as to if we stop and just notice what are ways that we could be making a difference for somebody else. And what does that bring us in return? 'Cause there's lots of evidence that when we do good for others, we get so much back in return in terms of resilience as well and good feeling.
Bob Goff
Yeah bingo yeah. So you just you try to do a good thing and sometimes things will go a little wonky. Just this afternoon, a neighbor called and said, “Hey, I think a package got delivered that was meant for this one neighbor. It got delivered to another neighbor who's not there now. These neighbors of mine have these fortresses. They have like security cameras. They probably have guns like somewhere up on the roof, but they're like fortresses and there's buttons you press to get in and all that so they gave me the number. They said, “Press this number to get in to this particular house,” and so I was just trying to be a good neighbor. I went down there. The door was, the gate was ajar, so I just went in through the security gate, grabbed the package, and the security gate closed behind me. Wrong number. So now I'm in their stupid yard with all their stupid cameras going with a package looking like I'm just like just ripping them off and I'm behind these 10 foot tall bars. And I'm thinking, like, “Oh my gosh. I was just trying to do something nice for a neighbor and now it looks like I'm the perpetrator of this thing,” so I'm going to have to talk to their security guys 'cause there's a big tree next to one of their big stupid tall fences. And so I climbed the tree with the box and jumped over the tree, out of the tree, with the box and ran home.
Cindy Thompson - A Resilience Project
Which really looks like you're stealing it now.
Bob Goff
And I know, yes! Totally! So here's the point, like sometimes you'll have a beautiful ambition, and you want to do something really nice and then it goes really wonky and so I wouldn't make a stupid rule for yourself to say I'll never do something nice again. Sometimes what we do is we have something, an outcome that we didn't see coming and so what we do is we make up a rule that I'll never love again. I'll never help again. I'll never.... Pretty much anything that starts with the word ‘never,’ unless it's knocking off a bank or robbing liquor stores, like just I would just pause over those rules and to say: is that rule really fit? I mean, I get it. Like that was lame, what happened, but to say I'm not sure if I want to make a rule for the rest of my days that I'm never going to whatever again, never love again, never risk again. Never whatever. So I have, these are the kinds of things that I think is so powerful to have gatherings like the kind you're talking about to just talk about it. What are the rules that you've made? What was the pain you experienced? What's the rule that you made, and how could we rewrite that rule?
Cindy Thompson - A Resilience Project
Yes, I love the idea of, and I often talk about, rewriting that story that they are very things that protected us at some point in our lives. Are they still working for us or is it making it harder? And how could we change our mindset around that? So, great point.
Bob Goff
Yeah, well, I'm a lawyer. I'm a lawyer and I pick juries. And if juror #4 says something really lame when you're picking who the jury is going to be, you don't get in an argument with him. You say to the Judge, “I would like to thank and excuse juror #4,” and we'll get somebody else in there. And so maybe you could take some of those things to your point that served you at one time and they guarded your heart, but they're not serving you anymore. Thank them and excuse them to say you can sit down. Thank you for protecting me when I was small and I didn't understand, but I know you know what? I'm not small anymore. I'm big and I can actually handle some of these challenges. And so, I want to thank you for how you guarded me. But now I want to excuse you, I need you to take a seat and there's something really beautiful about not giving agency to these kinds of old rules and old notions that had a purpose at one time. Just thank them and excuse them.
Cindy Thompson - A Resilience Project
Yes, great point and I think it frees us right to be able to move ahead and be working on that story for our future. Be able to look for the good that's around us even during trying times right now. How can we be looking for the good that's right in front of us?
Bob Goff
Totally great. If you don't do that, you'll have more baggage than Air Canada. And they've lost my bags at time or two.
Cindy Thompson - A Resilience Project
And that gets heavy, right?
Bob Goff
That gets heavy.
Cindy Thompson - A Resilience Project
Well, and you know if people have read some of your books, I know that you've had amazing adventures and you're not afraid to jump in and try new things. Build an airline without first having an airplane, right, that you built? So, being able to take chances and I just want to point out that you don't always have to do big things, like I know that you have gone to impoverished countries, you've started a nonprofit, I believe, called Love Does to help people who are really struggling in many, many ways and you've put yourself into some pretty scary situations at times.
Bob Goff
Yeah, I think some of the scariest situations don't happen across an ocean, but they happen like in our family structure, sometimes. They're a lot more insidious. In Afghanistan you can kind of see the bad guys coming. You know things are getting tense like you'll be in a in a a bizarre like in an open market and then there’ll be one, then three, then nine, then 27. Then, like this is not going the direction I was thinking and you just need to skidaddle like you need to be elsewhere in a hurry. But sometimes you don't see it under your own roof. You could have a nutty relative. You could have, you could be the nutty relative, but to it at least identify what that is and say what are the dynamics going on and how can I kind of operate in a meaningful way. I don't want to get caught up in the drama of things.
We had a gathering that we did of young people in Kabul, Afghanistan. We've got many of them together that are really identified as the leaders. And then there was a big explosion two days ago and the Taliban blew up a place and they blew up a couple of our kids, and there's just like that word came down today, but I was so grateful that I had an opportunity to learn. Like, they had a message that they wanted to give in the abbreviated time that they had and I just want for each of us our messages to get out. Like, we've got something that we want to say with our life. Not a slogan. Not something pithy. But we have something important to say, so my important thing I have to say is that I'm available. It's not a slogan. I've just, I write books, I put my cell phone number in the books. There's millions of people that have my cell phone number. I'm never the smartest guy in the room, but I'm always the most available guy in the room. And so I I haven't interrupted our time. I've gotten 5 calls from the back of these books while we've been talking. Isn’t that crazy?
Cindy Thompson - A Resilience Project
No kidding! That's amazing!
Bob Goff
Yeah, they just keep calling. So, but they'll call back then what the message says: If I can't pick it up when I'm having a a meaningful conversation like this is, here's my personal e-mail and so I get maybe 700 emails a day and I just delight in having the opportunity to connect with people. Because we're only on this marble for a little while, so let's get to know each other. I'm just so glad for my Canadian friends that let me come and be a trespasser up in Canada.
Cindy Thompson - A Resilience Project
Well, we'll be glad to have you back up at the lodge when you can, again.
Bob Goff
Oh, I'm itching to get back up there. I heard there's an exception if you're engaged. I would have to get permission from Maria of 34 years to get engaged. I couldn't get married twice, 'cause I think there's some laws against that, but I could get married and engaged once to get over.
Cindy Thompson - A Resilience Project
Good point.
Bob Goff
I don't know. I don't think there's any gaming this.
Cindy Thompson - A Resilience Project
You're just looking for a loophole.
Bob Goff
Yeah, we fixed one problem. Uh, a week or two ago that we created, and I apologize for the last four years, but we're going to fix this next problem we're creating. Part of it's being self aware to just say I'm not the victim in this and I'm not the hero in this. This was just good judgment by Canada to say, “Let's shut this down right now.” And so the same can happen in our families. The same can happen at our workplace. That you're exercising some good judgment. And to say, “You know what, I don't feel like I have to explain everything that I do. You know, Trudeau didn't call me and say, “Hey Bob, how do you feel about this?”
Cindy Thompson - A Resilience Project
Right. That would have been lovely.
Bob Goff
I just like, “Yeah,” I'm like, “Have a donut,” but instead we could just say, “I really respect that decision without knowing all the details.” I'm OK with people in leadership who are leading strong. This isn't a commentary on your system, which I don't know anything about. I do know that if people are leading strong in their families, strong in their friendships, they're not saying, “I'm the leader.” They're saying, “I'm the servant, like, how can I help you get further faster?” That's how you know somebody’s a leader.
Cindy Thompson - A Resilience Project
Yes, thinking of what we can do for others and I think that's a great mindset amongst this COVID pandemic to think about: What am I doing when I go out to protect others? As opposed to thinking about ourselves and even that small shift. I wonder what kind of ripples we could create to cause a little bit more humanness. A little bit more kindness towards one another. A bit more grace and understanding.
Bob Goff
Yes, and then having your head on a swivel to look for the opportunities that are around you. I think I told you I've been on the waiting list for 30 years for a slip at this marina in Hawaii. There's only like 100 slips in this 30 years I've been waiting. I am 61, I got on when I was 31 and they called this week and said you're slip. Like, your number one now. Yeah, so I'm going to buy the lousiest boat. I got $1000 budget. I need to get the lousiest boat, I'm parking it that in the slip and I'm just going to be so delighted to just toss the keys to all my friends. Truth be known, I got no time to go over there, but my friends do and I want to just tell him like bring a surfboard or I'll keep one on my lousy boat if it's still floating and I just to look for an opportunity. I want our heads to be looking not only for opportunities for us, but for opportunities for other people. The person that's living nearby that's isolated. The person that is giving off some pretty weird vibes about life, like they're kind of “stay away.” But that just means a ton of insecurity. We don't need, I'm not trained in the things you're trained in, but I can see that a mile away they need a puppy. Drop one off.
Cindy Thompson - A Resilience Project
Great point and that you're just such a lovely example of always thinking about others in ways just like you said to be available. Whether it's putting your phone number in your books or giving your e-mail, the fact that people are responding to that tells us that people love that idea that you are available and want to connect with you.
Bob Goff
Oh yeah, or go on your neighborhood, go get a walkie-talkie. Hang it from your neighbors tree and just say, “I'm always on the other end, like, I've got the other end.” And there's something beautiful and iconic about that to be the one. We had this idea. I wrote a kids book once and talked about how somebody was really nice to me and they told me when I was a little short on change to get a candy bar that the shiny pennies were worth two. And so I was in junior high school and still thought shiny pennies were worth two because somebody really nice told me they were. So I I did a something and Instagrammed something and I told all the kids, after listening, reading this story, I said, “Hey kids, if you want a shiny penny from me just send me a letter. And I'll send you a shiny penny from Maria and I.” And I got 1000 letters. We spent the first 60 days of COVID just signing letters to little kids who wanted shiny pennies. And I'm telling you, 1000 pennies I don't know what that is like 5 bucks I don't know what it is, ain't much and it took a little bit of time to do. But there was something really delightful. It was right at the time that all the crazy started to happen and it was just a really great time for us to kind of retool and to say you know what I want to do things a little differently, I want to make it focused outward rather than inward.
Cindy Thompson - A Resilience Project
Mmmm. What has inspired you like, I think about being a lawyer and I've read some of your books, but maybe for those listeners out there: What has inspired you to take this walk to think of others? Was there a pivotal point in your life that something shifted for you that you found, this is really exciting and fulfilling?
Bob Goff
Yeah, for me faith is a big deal, but I don't feel like I'm a infomercial for Jesus. I don't want to be like, “So you, too, can have this and we'll throw in some cooking knives!”
Cindy Thompson - A Resilience Project
And a shiny penny!
Bob Goff
Exactly, yeah, yeah. So, faith is an important thing for me, but also I just think of some of the big courses I've been tied to. Folks that have been living lives filled with purpose. Like I think of my grandparents. They didn't, you know, invent medicine. My grandfather worked as a fireman on the Wharf in San Francisco, and he never put out a fire. In his whole career. 40 years. I didn't even know if he knew how to, but he knew how to love me and so I think he was just available to me. Now, he wasn't, it was before social media, and he wouldn't have been interested anyway, but what if we multiplied that? Now sweet Maria is not interested in these things. She's like her world is me, Lindsey, Richard, Adam.
Cindy Thompson - A Resilience Project
That's all she needs.
Bob Goff
Whoever they're married to. That's it. So she wrote a book once and her book release was to order a medium pizza. She cut it. She's like, “It's released.” So for each of us we’ll express that in different ways. But for me, my wiring harness, I just feel like I got a little bit of time. I got a ton of energy and so I'm just going to live a life super engaged. And then when people ask me about, do you want to...? Like, my resting position is leaning forward thinking like, is there any way we can make that happen?
Cindy Thompson - A Resilience Project
I can only imagine. And I have to say, many times as I've read your books, I've thought I really would love to meet Sweet Maria someday. 'Cause I bet you she has even more stories to tell.
Bob Goff
Yeah, you'd like her. She's just so, like, kind and comfortable in her own skin. But then she's married to like Tigger, and I'm like all off on that. Next thing I'm like grabbing we're breeding horses now! Can you believe it?
Cindy Thompson - A Resilience Project
What's the next thing?
Bob Goff
She's like, yes, yes, it's all about hot air balloons.
Cindy Thompson - A Resilience Project
Well, and I imagine her just buckled in, knowing that she's gone to the next thing with you. She can't help but just honor these great ideas.
Bob Goff
Yes, we bought a little, I've started this little airline where we flew Beavers out of Vancouver International up all the inlets by you. And so that was just like her say like, “But you don't have a pilots license.” I'm like, “I know, isn't this awesome?” But there's we actually have pilots that do, and it was actually really fun to just come up with fun, winsome ideas, but I don't over identify with that. I'm not the airplane guy, just because I had an idea we could call some lumberjacks around. I'm not the horse guy because I got a horse. But first and foremost, I am sweet Maria Goff’s husband. I'm Lindsay, Richard, Adam’s dad. I got my feet on the ground. I'm not an author, just 'cause I could spell a couple words. But to say, like, who are we at our core. And in some sense, we're each other’s. Like, we need to think of ourselves more globally. If there's things that you have that I need to just kind of get to the place where I could be humble enough to say I have a need. And then to be generous enough that if you have a need that I could say, “Hey, I actually can fill that.”
Cindy Thompson - A Resilience Project
Beautiful, I just really want to express my appreciation for all the good messages that you send and to really recognize that you are Tigger, but you also bring a lot of joy and I think that's why all those people call you and e-mail you. And so keep it up, I really encourage that you'll continue to do that as long as you can because of the great joy that you're bringing to many people.
Bob Goff
Awe. Thank you.
Cindy Thompson - A Resilience Project
Oh, and you know and I think maybe, just as we get ready to close, I just think about, I was reflecting on this this morning and it came to mind that you were like Mr. Rogers. And I think about all the Bob-isms that maybe someday there's also going to be a book about all the Bob quotes, 'cause there's so many of them.
Bob Goff
I'll be the guy tackling the cattle. Tomorrow's our day. We're gonna tackle the cattle. Like, yeah, we're gonna get the halters on the cattle but that won't be with a red Mr. Roger’s sweater. It'll be with some jeans and a lot of willpower.
Cindy Thompson - A Resilience Project
Well, and you can create your own signature style within that for sure, but I just wanted to let you know that that thought came to mind today in anticipation of this.
Bob Goff
Oh, I love that. Honored. Well, thank you for leading people with love and I'm telling you if you're listening, find a wide spot in the road, figure out a way to join in on what's happening, and Cindy is one of the people that's speaking into my life, and let her speak into yours.
Cindy Thompson - A Resilience Project
Well, thank you. Bob, I really appreciate your being here.
I never get tired of listening to Bob and the escapades that he might get involved with. If anyone can motivate us to cultivate more joy, love and kindness, it is Bob. I also want to express my gratitude for Bob and the coaching I received as I never would have considered starting a podcast. This is why I find coaching so rewarding not only as a coach, but also in being coached.
Taking some of the wisdom and insights from this episode: Let's start with the end in mind. Let's imagine at the end of December 2022 you are sitting quietly and reflecting on the past few weeks, the holiday spent with family and friends, or perhaps just taking time for yourself. As you sit and give yourself space to reflect you might even find yourself anticipating the new year ahead. What would make this next week, month or year more satisfying and memorable? Is it the big things or is it the smaller moments that you will hang on? What if you could begin designing some of those a-ha moments? Consider who might be part of those experiences and the circumstances that will make these snapshots in time more meaningful.
An example that comes to mind in the last couple of weeks was a time that I was going through the drive through at Starbucks. It was a Monday morning. A dreary start to the day. It was raining, cold, and I decided before even getting in the lineup that I would pay for the person behind me as a random act of kindness. The barista was immediately energized by this idea, suggesting that it will often carry on for about an hour once it gets started, meaning that the people continued to pay for the people behind them. I have no idea whether it did continue, but it didn't really matter because I just wanted to make someone's day a little bit. What could you start today?
Our team is going to be taking a short break over the month of December and we will be back with more stories, resilience practices, and inspiration starting January 2nd. In this first episode of 2023, I will be going solo and talking about why we need to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. In anticipation of a brand new year and 365 amazing opportunities for us to embrace our resilience, I am going to help you develop a fresh outlook on challenges and take big steps out of your comfort zone. The results will mean exceptional personal growth that will surpass any previous New Year's resolutions you have ever made.
And just a quick reminder about our T-shirt campaign with 100% of the proceeds going to the Love Does non-profit organization that Bob Goff founded. You get a quality T-shirt with a resilience theme or hoodie and you make a difference in the lives of others.
I am sending you my love for the holiday season and remember friends, adversity is inevitable while resilience is a practice.
Thank you for listening to this episode of ‘A Resilience Project.’ We would not be doing this podcast without you. If you or someone you know has an inspirational story or is helping to build resilience in their community, please e-mail me at Cindy@aresilienceproject.com. In fact, e-mail me either way. I would love to hear from you. My hope is to feature an episode periodically on your letters of resilience. I'm very interested in hearing your story of how you have tackled hard things and what worked for you. With your permission, I hope to share some of these stories along the way with our listeners. Also, check out my website, aresilienceproject.com to learn more about our amazing guests.
Your presence here is important because together we are cultivating a village of resilient individuals. You are creating a space for their stories to be shared and a sacred space for learning to occur. I also have a favor - I would love for you to go to your preferred podcast platform, rate and review the podcast so that we will know how we're doing. I also would like to express my gratitude to the amazing team of volunteers that have jumped on board to support this project. You will find each of those beautiful people on my website on the team page.
As you go about this week, I invite you to think about one way that you can continue to grow your resilient muscle. What is one thing you can start with today? See you next week.
HELPFUL RESILIENCE INFORMATION
Definition of Resilience
Capacity to cope with and recover quickly from setbacks, difficulties, and toughness; to adapt well to change; and keep going in the face of adversity.
Types of Resilience - how the body deals with change and recovers from physical demands, illnesses, and injuries.
Physical Resilience how the body deals with change and recovers from physical demands, illnesses and injuries.
Mental Resilience ability to adapt to change and uncertainty.
Emotional Resilience ability to regulate emotions during times of stress.
Social Resilience community resilience – ability of groups to recover from difficult situations.
Areas of Life or Situations That Require A High Level of Resilience:
· Resilience in Adoption
· Resilience in Adults
· Resilience in Anxiety - Depression
· Resilience in Body Image – Eating Disorders
· Resilience in Change
· Resilience in Children
· Resilience in Chronic Illness
· Resilience in Death & Dying
· Resilience in Divorce
· Resilience in Immigration
· Resilience in Non-Profits
· Resilience in Marriage
· Resilience in Parenting
· Resilience in Post Secondary Education
· Resilience in Pregnancy
· Resilience in Racism
· Resilience in Relationships
· Resilience in Suicide
· Resilience in Teens
· Resilience in Trauma
· Resilience in War
· Resilience in the Workplace
Traits, Qualities and Characteristics That People with Resilience Possess:
They are authenticThey adapt to change and see it not as a challenge, but an opportunityThey make commitments and keeps themThey feel in control – strong internal locus of controlThey have close and secure attachment to othersThey set personal or collective goalsThey become stronger with the effect of stressThey learn from past successes and mistakesThey view themselves as survivors – Survivor mentalityThey have a good self-imageThey are confidence in ability to make good decisionsThey have a sense of humorThey have an action-oriented approach to lifeThey have patience around peopleThey have optimism in face of uncertaintyThe have Faith or some belief in a higher powerWays to build Resilience in People
· Create more purpose and meaning in all that you do
· Develop a good support system – supportive network circle that they can engage for help
· Maintaining positive relationships
· Work towards developing good communication skills.
· Develop the capacity to make realistic plans and to carry them out
· Maintain a well-balanced routine lifestyle of diet and exercise
· Practice emotional regulation to manage your feelings, impulses and emotions
· Practice good problem-solving skills to rationally develop solutions
· Find ways to help others
· Set time aside for journaling
· Develop new skills to respond differently to situations. ...
· Turn setbacks into opportunities for growth. ...
· Maintain a healthy perspective. ...
· Maintain Proper sleeping habits
· Practice meditation
Organizations that promote and support Resilience
Resilience Quotes
Resilience Books
Resilience Courses