Creating Spaces and Times for Coaches to Practice and Improve

an education period and go into a practice period, like a supervised practice period. And for doctors, it's called residency, of course. And then for therapists, they have to do some number of hundreds of hours of supervised work. in collaboration with a licensed therapist. I talked last week about certifications. And although I don't believe in certifications per se, because I think it's just humans giving other humans permission to do stuff or not do stuff.

What I do believe in Is supported practice, I believe very strongly in it and in all these other environments like medicine and like therapy and like accounting, you know, like accounting, you go in, you work in a firm and you, you, or in a law firm, you go and you grind at the lower levels of the firm and you get your reps and you get your practice and you get your skill.

Well, coaches come into coaching, having to learn a bunch of stuff at the same time, but not really having a place in time in which to practice it. So we're telling these new coaches come on into the world of coaching. Good news. It's an unregulated industry. So have at it. You know, right. I am a coach and red crayon and a napkin. Congratulations. You're a coach. I know this bothers some people. It does not bother me. I'm for it.

The issue is without a structured space and time in which to practice, coaches are having to learn all of these things at once sales and marketing and Coaching and holding space and maybe teaching and maybe facilitation. It's a solo project to try to go out and develop all of these skills at once. And it's daunting. And I think that too many coaches quit because if they don't have a professional background or a strong, natural aptitude for.

A few of these core skills, they struggle to get momentum and they quit. And this bothers me because today more than ever, I believe in coaching and I'm not just talking about myself. Yes. My confidence is growing, but more than ever, I believe in the fact that a person will benefit from spending time with a trusted other in exploration. And discovery and inquiry. I've never believed more strongly in it. I don't have blinders on. I'm aware of stuff that gets said about coaching.

I'm aware of the media. I could not care any less more than ever. I believe in a person spending extended time with a trusted other and using that space and time to discover things about themselves. To make new plans, set new goals, heal, learn, and break through. So the question in my mind is how do I participate in the coaching community in a way that helps more helpers break through, find their footing, establish themselves and succeed according to their definition of success.

And I don't think we have great solutions in the community yet. I think we have some solutions. I'm not in a position to make a blanket statement that the community is failing. I'm sure that there are many, many training programs out there who actually do a very good job with creating an environment where there's a space and time for a person to practice in a supervised and supported way and improve. My concern is.

Too often, those environments are inside of training programs and certification programs, which are so expensive. That maybe the majority of coaches, new coaches and established coaches, would view the cost as a hurdle. If I'm in the rest of the professional services world, I honestly don't even know if you pay for continuing education. I'm, I imagine you do, but I imagine you don't pay a lot for it. My guess would be, and I'm just guessing and someone will correct me via email, I'm sure.

That the cost for a continuing education credit is maybe in the hundreds of dollars. and I would imagine that for someone in the professional services world to maintain their license, to complete their, their continuing education requirements, I imagine it's not prohibitively expensive.

But if every time a coach wants to get into a space where they can practice and where they can be supported, if they have to spend four or five, 10, 15, 000 some will do it often because they have the means and the desire. Some will do it occasionally because they can swing it occasionally and many won't do it at all.

So I think there's an opportunity for us as coaches to create environments in which coaches can practice in a supported way at a price that makes it easy and desirable for them to do it often, to make it part of their weekly, monthly or annual coaching practice. I think the benefits will be not just an improvement in the quality of the Industry wide coaching skill and, and competence and confidence.

I also believe that this will satisfy a networking and marketing function for coaches, because another thing that I think that we're lacking in the coaching community is trust networks. I want to have at my fingertips, at any given moment, a list of coaches that I trust and And that I can refer to.

I probably already mentioned this on the podcast, but a few months ago I gave a referral and very recently I got a message from the client that I had referred, thanking me for connecting them with their coach. That may be the thing I'm most excited about in 2024, that one message, knowing that I was part of a connection. That got that client great support and gave that coach a great client. I love my clients. I love being able to provide for my family.

These are amazing things, but weirdly, the thing I may be most excited about in 2024 is that one message where a person said, I just want to thank you for connecting me with my coach. I cannot believe how much I'm learning, how much I'm growing and how differently I feel. Even though it's still very early in that relationship.

As a community of coaches, we can look at ways to facilitate more of that, more trust so that when we become aware of a person who's in pain or a person who's aspiring to something new in their life, and if we're confident that we're not the person to give that service, as I was with this client, that we can quickly and confidently make a referral.

To a trusted, If that idea is not exciting to you, then I'm afraid you've been unduly influenced by all the marketing and sales copy that is in the world that talks about advertising and funnels. And all of that other stuff, because if you exist within a network of trust, and if you actively participate in that network, that can be the only marketing you ever do. And I would submit that it will be the best, most enjoyable, lowest hassle marketing you ever do.

Active participation in a network of trust. So why am I saying all this today? Well, it's not because I have anything to pitch. I do want to create something like this. I've already reached out to a friend and said, I think we should collaborate on the creation of something like this. And we're going to get together in a couple of weeks and we're going to talk about, how it benefits her, how it benefits me, but more than anything, how it benefits the community.

So there's more and more trust Between coaches and between coaches and the people in their lives that they that they influence So that more and more people have an opportunity to explore and discover In a safe setting with a trusted other. I'm saying this here on this podcast because I may create one and I think it'll be great. I want other people to create these same kinds of spaces. I have a particular set of biases.

I have my way of being, I have my culture, I have my gender, I have my ethnicity. I'm not trying to think about how I can make a space for everyone. I want to make a space in which I'm excited to be. I want other people to create a space in which they're excited to be. And I want them to invite and attract people who are excited to spend time with them.

I imagine hundreds or thousands of these kinds of spaces in which coaches are practicing, getting support, getting correction, giving correction. And growing in competence and confidence. One of the beauties of the coaching industry is that it's unregulated. I have a little bit of a libertarian streak in me and the libertarian in me says, there doesn't need to be a lot of rules and regulations around this. What we hope is that people will be guided by a set of ethics. They'll be guided.

By a moral standard that drives them in their life and that they will create spaces in which people who share their ethics, who have similar moral standards, similar desires, find their way into their own communities. Whatever that community looks like and in that space grow together Just to give you a little bit more of a sense of what this might look like what I imagine for myself would be a thing that is first of all, not a Social media community.

So I'm not thinking for myself I'm not thinking about a Facebook group or a slack group or anything that looks like that because I don't like those it's not that I think they're bad. It's that I have no interest whatsoever in participating in those. Also, my priority here is the practice. So I want to show up to a zoom room, for example, or a physical room in which there is a group of coaches. And a client, one of the coaches can be the client. I'm fine with that.

And then what we're doing is we're observing a coaching interaction and the coaching interaction is not a quick one. It's not 10 minutes. It's not 15 minutes. It's probably 45 minutes where one coach and one client are interacting and everyone else is observing silently. Maybe you play with the structure. Maybe you play with the, the interaction between coach, client, and observers.

These things can iterate and evolve over time, but more than anything, I imagine the observers sitting and making notes and having their own thoughts about what they're learning from observing the interaction. Here's some questions that I, as an observer, would want to bring to this. If I'm watching a coach work with a client, I'm going to be asking myself questions like, what is this coach's approach to questions? What kinds of questions do they ask? How do they ask those questions?

What is the coach's approach to silence? How much silence do they use? Because I don't believe there's a right answer to the amount of silence. I tend to sometimes be very quiet in a coaching session. And sometimes, as I've told you before, I'm talking a lot. I'm monologuing. It happens. I think that both have their place. At least apparently they do. My clients haven't complained. But I want to watch other coaches and see what their approach is to silence.

I want to see the coach's facial expressions. I want to see the coach's body language. I want to observe what isn't being said between coach and client. I want to observe the coach's approach to advice. To suggested action. I want to see whether they do that at all. And if they do it, I want to see how they do it. I want an opportunity to say, huh, how would I integrate what I just observed into my work with my clients? I want to see whether the coach teaches in session.

Are they introducing specific concepts? Are they introducing specific concepts? Are they defining those concepts? How are they engaging with their client around these named concepts? Do they do it at all? How do I think it's landing with the client they're talking to? I'm curious to observe how other coaches lead in their sessions. How do they progress through a session? How do they start it? How do they keep it on track? How do they course correct? How do they end?

I want to observe all of these things. And then in that same space and time, I want to have a discussion with other coaches in the room. What did we all learn here? What was your take on this? What did you think was the best? What was most effective? What do you think was least effective? Coach, how did you feel while you were coaching? Client, I'm curious whether this particular thing landed with you or not. I believe these things are happening in little tiny doses in the coaching industry.

What I want to observe and what I want to participate in and maybe what I want to lead is a setting in which all of us as coaches show up to these kinds of settings frequently and throughout our entire careers. That's what I imagine. I don't view it as an easy task because you have to create an environment that people actually want to show up to and participate in. And that's not necessarily easy. You have to manage the community dynamics.

You have to manage the group dynamics in the specific session. You're going to have one person in a group of five or six who probably tends to dominate the conversation, who may derail the conversation. It could happen. You'll probably have one or maybe two in that group who don't want to participate at all. They want to be there, but they're nervous to say anything.

So you have to work to help them participate, or you have to have an understanding in your little group of what does it look like to participate, maybe it's fine to just show up and be silent the whole time. So you have to create structures that make this appealing to people such that they keep showing up and participating. I don't view it as easy, but I do view it as possible and as important. So I bring this to you today because I hope you'll think about doing it.

I probably will create one of these, but I do not want it to be the only one. I want it to be one of hundreds or maybe one of thousands. Some of the benefits will be apparent and expected. And I think there will be lots of unanticipated, unexpected, significant benefits that come from these kinds of groups popping up. I'm not here to tell anyone how to do it. I'm not here to tell anyone how to price it. You can charge thousands of dollars for it. That's up to you.

I don't think I will because I don't want that hurdle in the way of the mission of the group, but if you want to charge a jillion dollars for it, by all means, if you want to charge 0 for it, by all means, the main thing is let's think about what kinds of spaces can we create where coaches. Come together, counsel together, support each other, learn from each other, and raise the level of our work across the whole industry and across the whole community.

I don't believe we need increased regulation in the world of coaching. I think regulation is a security blanket for people who are very worried about harm being done. I also am worried about harm being done. But I don't think you can legislate ethics. I don't think you can legislate skill. I think you have to make skill and ethics attractive and appealing and create a place in a time in which it is easy for a person to practice a skillful, thoughtful, ethical approach to their work.

So let's see if we can do that. Let's see if we can do that. I'll talk to you next time.