Hey, this is Kia. Is it ever a right time to have a baby? Navigating the cost of parenthood can be daunting. So we've got an expert here today to help us balance work and home life. Whether you are a new parent or expecting the world of parenting can feel like a foreign one. Welcome to another episode of A Little Bit Richer, brought to you by my friends at
Legal &; General. Charlotte Jessop from the Looking After Your Pennies platform is here to help us navigate financial planning when it comes to parenthood. Charlotte is a financial educator, coach, writer, and vlogger. Welcome, Charlotte.
Hello.
So we're talking about the topic of parenthood and becoming a parent is an incredible experience with all the joy and love that it brings. And as a former bundle of joy I should know that all too well, but it is a very big decision. So I want to ask you, is there ever a right time to have a baby? And what advice do you have for people considering starting or growing their family?
This is a great question. Honestly, from my own personal experience there's not a right time. I made the decision to be a parent purely from an emotional standpoint rather than a financial one. I got married when I was 26 and I knew that I wanted to start a family pretty much straight away, and that was what I did. A year later, I had my first daughter and
then I had another one two years after that. And my finances at that time, I had not long bought a house before that. I just finished paying for a wedding and my finances probably weren't rosy. When I sit down and look at the money I have now, I sit down and think, "
Oh, it'd probably be a lot easier now." But I think the reality is that if you sit there and you try and rationalise every decision you're going to make, there's never a right time because if it's not the finances that are stopping you, it's the things that you enjoy. It's like, " Oh, I want to travel." Or " I want
to buy a house." So there want to always be something that stands in your way of making that decision to be a parent. Try not to wait for perfection. You just got to take a little bit of a leap and figure the rest out on the way.
That's really comforting to hear because knowing that there is no right time just gives you that confidence to say, " Whenever you feel like you want to do it, just do it." We've spoken about it before on a podcast about the legal and general research that revealed some key milestones. Like parenthood is being delayed and the average age of having a baby is later than it ever has
been at 32 years old. So I want to ask you, why do you think that is?
Do you think there are some personal development that happens at some point around when you turn 30? There may be changes in your perspective on life and family and that sort of thing. But also there are some things that we've already touched on, things like career. I was fortunate that I entered a career that allowed me to progress fairly quickly. And I felt that was in a
strong place. That isn't the same for everybody. It can take a few years to find a career that's right for you. Education, more people are going to university, doing postgraduate study as well. So all of those things make a difference. And also when we look at finances, it's been a rough few years.
It's been rough. It's been rough.
We look at the likes of COVID. We've also got things like the cost of living crisis and this has made things more expensive and people I think are potentially waiting for those things to maybe settle down. House prices are huge now. So it makes sense for people to want to feel a little bit more secure in their financial situation, but also these personal development milestones that I
think as women we have more freedoms. We were able to make bigger and better strides in our careers than my parents, than their parents were. So actually there's a real sense of wanting to take advantage of that. So yeah, I think there's a whole host of reasons. And I completely understand why people would want to delay that.
There is such a big shift between generations that if you just take my parents versus me. So my parents had me at 24. I'm 26, and I cannot even fathom having a child right now because where I am in my career and things I want to achieve. So yeah, I think it's a different world that we're living in. Absolutely. So let's talk about finances then. Our favorite topic to talk
about. So as a parent yourself, can you talk us through some of the financial impacts of having a baby? So more so the short- term costs when they're younger, what are some of the costs that we can expect when you have a baby?
So I think this is what most people focus on. You're like, " I'm having a baby." And you kind of get very caught up in this bit. And actually it's kind of fleeting. So they are going to need some clothes and they are going to rapidly grow out of those clothes as well. So I always urge people to go second hand for things particularly like those newborn clothes because it could be a week and they're done.
A week?
So clothes is obviously a main one, but lots of people buy that for you, and it's their number one thing to buy. You need things like car seats, and that's probably one of the few costs that you can't really avoid because recommended that you buy those sorts of things brand new so that you know they haven't been in accidents and stuff like that. Then you have to get
this kid out and about. You might want some sort of push chair or I was quite a fan of baby wrapping. And then you have things like feeding. So depending on how you choose to feed your child, you might have costs involved there. And then there's things like nappies and all of these sorts of things. And whether you choose to go down a kind of disposable nappy route or a reusable nappy route, both of those things
involve costs. On top of that, you're then going to want to do stuff with your kid. And there's always a societal pressure to get your kids out and about and learning baby sign language or baby yoga. These are all
things that I did with my children. I look at it now and I'm like, " Why on earth did they think they could do yoga when they were three months old?" But a lot of this is about socialising and that's hugely important as a new parent to just get out and meet other mums and that sort of thing. So those are costs as well. And as they get older, you then enter into things like the school years and
nursery and that sort of thing. And then there's I think a significant proportion of the costs of having a child is around childcare. So even if you take six months a year off after you've had a child, you are going to at some point pay out for childcare. And there are ways that you can negate this or reduce this in some way, but that is a significant cost that I think is a huge factor in why people are
choosing to delay parenthood. When you send them off to school, I look at my kids now, I basically need to just redirect my salary to the school's bank account because it's Christmas Jumper Day, it's anti- bullying week and they got to wear yellow socks.
I used to love that school though. Mum give me a pant. Guys, I love it.
So yeah, there's always a new thing. They've had a school photo and you couldn't possibly not get that photo-
Of course.
... because they're not smiling. So you still have to pay for all of those things. And it's always something. There's a school trip. My eldest daughter has recently signed up to rock band lessons.
Wow.
So that's where my salary is probably going.
Is being directed. Wow.
So if she's not a rock star in the next 20 years-
I want to see her on the charts. She has to be on the charts.
Yep. Yep, that's it.
Wow. The costs really do add up, but I don't think that should be a reason to not have kids. It's just being aware. You'd rather know than go into something and have no idea. So I think that's all we're trying to do. Just bring awareness to it, but don't let that be a reason to not pursue-
Absolutely.
... the joy that is parenthood. So what are some of the considerations longer term that people should be thinking about?
What we need to maybe talk about here is the things that are not so obvious. And this is things like the costs of being on maternity leave. That was a reduction for me, quite a significant reduction in my salary to spend with my children in those early weeks and months, but then that also then impacts longer term as
well. So it's at that point where women become mothers that we start seeing bigger gaps in things like gender pay gap, we start seeing pension gaps, savings gaps. It's that point. Basically we don't see a huge difference in these things until we get to that point where women start having babies and that's when we start seeing the
divide between the two. So we need to be considering the implications of this and putting things in place to make sure that we are offsetting or working to ensure that there's not a longer- term damage on those things. And that can be hard. I definitely wasn't 26 years old and expected my first child going, " We really must
talk about the pension gap." That wasn't something that I was thinking about, but being able to do this and raise awareness of these things means that maybe we can bring to light some of these conversations and people can start making changes towards their finances. So you can do things like pay into your pension while you're on maternity
leave, but it doesn't necessarily end at mat leave. It can be like what happens in terms of who's going to look after the children? Is it going to be that one parent goes part- time or quits work entirely? And you then go down to a single income household. What are the costs of that? But also what are the risks of that? Because if you're a single income household, then your finances are a lot more precarious than
a double income household. And some of these conversations need to be had, particularly if you've got a partner that you're going on this journey with, how do you build back in that security and how do you build back in that equity in that financial partnership? So those costs are not easy to see, but they are still there, and I think we're hearing more and more about them now.
I guess the other thing to say on this is it's not all financial. There are either my mental workload has increased significantly since having children. I need a PA to manage the emails from my kids' school because there's
about 30 a day. But that creates a toll and it might be that has an impact on some of the other things that I'm able to do, whether it's a hobby or whether it's paid work because those sorts of things take up time.
I agree. I think it's good that we're having these conversations because as women we need to be aware and plan for that. So Charlotte, can you give any tips for blending parenthood and your career?
Yes. This is an interesting one, isn't it? Because for me, on a personal level I'm hugely career driven and ambitious, but also I love being a parent. So I have to find a way to make both of these things work for me. And it's been a journey and it hasn't always been easy. And there's definitely been moments where I've had to choose one over the other. And there's always a sense of guilt and that sort of
thing about it. I would say lean on your village. And we talked about those baby classes where you're doing baby sign language, it all feels pointless, well, those people turned into my village. I took my oldest daughter to baby sign language class and the woman that sat next to me is now one of my best friends. Her son
goes to school with my daughter. She lives around the corner from me and she will be like, " Can I drop my kids off at your house and can you take them to school for me today?" And I'll be like, " Yeah, no problem. I'm going that way anyway." And then the next day I'll be like, " Do you mind picking up my kids because I'm a bit late coming back from work?" And these people make the whole thing work.
And this can be friends, this can be family. And having that village, having that group of people around you that you can call upon really does make a huge difference to the whole experience of having kids. I think the other thing to think about is just to think creatively about your options. And we mentioned about the cost
of childcare, and this is huge. And actually my ex- husband and I, when we had little kids, we made the decision to both work part- time rather than pay for childcare. Not only did our kids have a parent with them at all times, but also by working part- time we were paying less tax due to things like tax allowances, than if one of us had worked full- time. And it's going to be different for every parent.
But yeah try not to just be like, " Best childcare or nothing." There might be another thing.
There are great ways that you can kind of make things work which is good. It's good to hear. Before we wrap up this episode,
Absolutely.
I want to ask you, what are your top three tips if you'd like to have a child in the future?
So first one, don't go overboard on the baby stuffs because they can be really cheap and they don't need loads of things. The thing is, you love these kids when you wanted to have all the best stuff, but ultimately they don't need fancy trainers that cost you 200 quid. Particularly when they're seven years old they don't know.
So you could just get them cheap ones and they can run through muddy puddles and live their best lives like that. So don't go overboard on the baby stuff and just kind of keep those costs in check. As exciting as it is don't. The next one, and this might be my favorite tip, is to choose your career
wisely. And I say that I'm not turning people away from following their career dreams, but if you can make choices about the job that you're in prior to entering the journey of parenthood it can make or break the experience. So I'm talking about things like does the company you're working for, what is their mat leave like? That will make a difference to the amount of money you have
in those early days. Things like what are the pensions like in that job? Are you getting a good pension out of that job? And things like remote working, all of this is going to impact on your experience not only during the parenting years but onwards. And I think if you can be in the right place with your career and you are in a job that you love and has flexibility, it can literally be a game changer for
the whole experience. And then the last one is work on your money stuff before you have a kid. So this can mean doing things like increasing your pension's contributions. It can be things like paying off debt. It can be things like overpaying your mortgage. And the benefit of this is twofold. Not only do you get the benefits of increased pension and less mortgage and stuff like that,
but you also get used to having less money. So when you're making those extra contributions you get all of those perks and then when baby comes along and you start your family, you can stop doing those things and offset that money towards starting your family, and you'll be in a stronger place for it and you won't miss the cash when baby comes along because it was already being spent-
It was already gone. Reallocated.
... on something. Yeah. So I think if you can do that, and it's always going to be a fine balance. When do we stop doing all that money stuff and when do we start having a kid? But essentially if there's something you want to do you've got to take the plunge eventually.
You have to take the plunge if you want to achieve it. Yep. Charlotte, thank you so much. This has been such an insightful episode, especially as me who doesn't have kids yet, but wants kids in the future. This has been a reassuring and informative episode. So thank you so much for coming onto the podcast.
Thank you.
Thanks Charlotte. You've given us a lot to think about. I'd love it if you could review the podcast, spread the word, and help others get a little bit richer too. Keep up with the show on TikTok and Instagram at Legal &; General. Thank you for listening. See you soon.