Revisited: Choose Your Seven Humans Wisely with Author Fredrik Backman

Hello from Team Simon! We're taking a quick break this week and will be back with brand-new episodes of A Bit of Optimism next Tuesday. 

Until then, we're revisiting one of our favorite episodes — when bestselling novelist Fredrik Backman joined the show to talk about the thing he's spent his whole career writing about: the quiet, radical power of showing up for people.

And Fredrik says great friendships aren't found by luck. They're built deliberately, repeatedly, and, sometimes, inconveniently by people who choose to do the work.

Fredrik is the internationally bestselling author of A Man Called Ove (adapted into the film A Man Called Otto), Anxious People, and the Beartown series. His book, My Friends, is a love letter to the relationships that quietly shape who we become.

In this conversation, Fredrik opens up about his best friend of over 30 years and what 30 years of real friendship actually requires. His words will have you thinking hard about the friends you might be taking for granted.

In this episode you'll learn: 

➡️ Why great friendship is a skill + what the work actually looks like 

➡️ The concept of your "people” vs. “humans" 

➡️ Why your friends are your best editors

➡️ The friendship rule that changed how Fredrik's entire friend group thought about relationships

➡️ The unexpected value of quantity of time vs. quality of time 

➡️ How to be genuinely happy for someone else 

➡️ The difference between healthy self-deprecation and low self-esteem 

➡️ Why the work in a relationship is never solely on the relationship — it's always on you

A great relationship isn't a stroke of luck. It's a choice you make every day, in small ways, often when it's inconvenient. This conversation is a reminder of why it's worth it.

This… is A Bit of Optimism.

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To buy Fredrik’s book, My Friends, visit: https://www.simonandschuster.com/authors/Fredrik-Backman/411545926 

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Chapters

• 00:00:00 We Don't Need Algorithms to Find Our People
• 00:02:45 Fredrik's Viral Speech: Fueled by Pure Panic
• 00:05:55 The Power of Authenticity: Why Imperfection Resonates
• 00:07:29 Choose Your Seven Humans Wisely
• 00:08:56 The Friend Who Taught Him Everything
• 00:15:43 Quality Time vs Quantity Time: The ROI of Presence
• 00:17:53 The "I Want To," Not "I Have To" Philosophy
• 00:20:55 Your Friends Are Your Best Editors
• 00:13:23 Writing as Self-Editing
• 00:15:06 Learning to Be Happy for Others
• 00:22:41 The Gift of Time: Showing Up When It Matters
• 00:23:56 Be A Great Friend, Get Great Friends
• 00:28:55 The Work Is On You: Relationships and Self-Growth
• 00:36:23 Algorithms Would Never Match Us: The Value of Difference
• 00:34:21 Trying Is Everything
• 00:35:55 People vs Humans
• 00:37:18 Self-Deprecation vs Low Self-Esteem
• 00:39:22 The Jantelagen: Swedish Humility Law
• 00:45:26 The Fear of Disappointing People
• 00:48:00 Expectations vs Reality: Letting Go of Fantasy
• 00:49:00 Understanding Bullies: Finding What We Have in Common
• 00:51:21 Fighting Narcissism: Surrounding Yourself With Better People
• 00:52:08 Being Comfortable Not Knowing: The Gateway to Learning
• 00:55:28 The World's Best Cardamom Bun Debate

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Simon is an unshakable optimist. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together.

Described as “a visionary thinker with a rare intellect,” Simon has devoted his professional life to help advance a vision of the world that does not yet exist; a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and end the day fulfilled by the work that they do.

Simon is the author of multiple best-selling books including Start With Why, Leaders Eat Last, Together is Better, and The Infinite Game.

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