You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny garl. Hey, everyone, welcome to I Choose Me. This podcast is all about the choices we make. And I'm back with Fiona, my daughter, for part two of our episode, answering your questions before she steps out into her next chapter of college. Okay,
b underscore Dazzler seven. If you could pack one piece of advice in her suitcase, a note she'd open when she's having a hard day, what would it say, Well, I have to go back to our favorite movie The Help You Smart You is kind, is important, and then I would add you is so loved. Like there's never
a minute when you're out there on your own. You're always have a support group, whether it's your high school friends, maybe some significant high school teachers that you can all want call back on, somebody in your community, your family, your friends, but just know that, like, you're not doing this alone. I always felt like I didn't go to college. I moved out of my mom my mom's house when I was like seventeen or eighteen, I can't remember exactly,
but I moved out and I thought that's it. I'm done. I'm on my own. I don't need anybody. I don't need anybody's help, and I feel like if I could go back, I would be a little bit more like willing to ask for help or lean on people more, or go back to my mom and just you know, cry on her shoulder if I needed to, and then be like, Okay, I'm done by you know, but like I just know that I plan and I have been for your sisters a really safe place to land come
back to. My love for you is never going to change, and you know, I think that it's important that kids remember that, because you do, you get caught up and like, I'm an adult now and I can do it all on my own. You just don't have to do it on your own. And also it's hard, you know, so allow yourself that grace to like lean on the people that are always going to be there for you. Yeah, that's great advice.
Jay Patterson says, my parents divorced a year ago, and I think my mom is going to start dating soon. Feel weird about it? Any advice? Hmm, Well, I mean it's completely valid to feel weird about that. That's a very scary and weird shift that's going on. I mean, I know I was kind of young when you started dating, like very young, and I was like every guy you'd bring, I'd be like, I love him, I love him. But my sisters didn't.
Your sisters were older, and they did not have the same because they were just in different places. You were like, yay a new playmate, Yeah, watch me do cars as long as he like paid attention to me. As like, yeah, you just wanted attention. Luca wanted them to buy her presence.
Lola wanted yeah, out of the house.
What do you want with my mother?
Yeah? So whatever stage you're in, whether you're in any of those stages, I feel like it's valid to feel any way that you're feeling about it. I mean, like I said before, I love to think about how it's your parents' first time going through life too, and just because they're your parents, like that doesn't mean that they
don't get to have their experiences, you know. And I think that if a divorce happens and they feel like they're ready to start dating again, then I mean, I think they they they can do that, and it's okay to feel weird about it, but it's completely normal for them to want to explore other connections and like be happy, and I think thinking like I just want what's best for my mom. I want what's best for my dad, you know, I want them to find happiness and find
their person. And I think keeping that in mind can really help in the process, even if you feel like really weird about it. I knew for a long time I wanted you and Dadda back together. Secretly, I was like wishing every day. But honestly, for the best. It's for the best of you. Guys both found your other partners and they fit. I mean, I know Dave fits you so well, and you guys are very happy, so and I'm really happy that you found that person.
So yeah, that's the ultimate cool. It's for everyone to be happy. Yeah, I can imagine, though, I remember my mom. My mom and dad separated when I was about your age, maybe no, sixteen, fifteen, sixteen, and they ended up getting back together. But my mom, I remember like I would see her talking to guys or like people at her work. They would be doing like after work things and stuff.
I would be very suss. Yeah, and I wasn't like I wasn't the most welcoming girl around town to strangers, because honestly, they my parents were separated, and I didn't want that to begin with. I want them to be together. Yeah, but I mean all kids probably want that unless it's just a completely disastrous situation and you know that it's
better that they're apart. But for me, it was hard, definitely, because we all want that, you know, picture perfect image that we've held onto in our minds, and it's hard to let that go. But yeah, people grow, people change, and you honestly just have to know that everybody wants to feel loved and be happy and let them. Let them evolve, let them, let them do them, let them, let them, yes, as mel Robin says, or also just let them you know you do you like this is
your life. It's not my life exactly. This is a great question, so relatable. Okay, football underscore, Juno. I'm freaking out. Pinterest dorm rooms look so fancy. Do I really have to remodel the dorms? Or can I just take the list of stuff the college asks about? Are you taking anything special? Okay, it really is. I just screamed to
you the other day. I think it's your Your dorm doesn't have to look like a pinterestward because that's what you Guys, do you look at the you see it all day, like what I brought to my dorm and.
Here's what, Oh my god, TikTok with the like transitions of like what it looked like before and after. I'm like, I need that, I need that, I need that, and it's just like it's such a wormhole. I mean I can't. It's really a problem because I wanted to feel like home, but like it's so cute the way they do it on those apps.
That sucks you in.
It really does. I mean, we have good like decor, I feel like we're not going too overboard.
Or we've really talked about it a lot. We've done I'm definitely like planning of essentials, purchasing of essentials.
But even thought about the essentials, I'm only thinking about the headboard and the bed skirt.
In the lamp and the wall art.
Yeah, oh my god.
It's been like.
I'm gonna forget my toothpaste and my initior.
No. But what what if you what if we did a TikTok before and after and the before looks exactly the after, and you're like what, yeah, like take the pressure off people, can.
You know a lot of pressure I'm like scared to listen ourselves and be like, oh wait, their room looks cute to their mind.
Oh my gosh. This is your chance, you guys, to like make a space that you feel good about that expresses like your character and your sensibilities, your likes, your dislikes. Yeah, all while just taping it onto the wall.
No, no, exactly, I'm Bell crow Strips.
By the way.
We have to get this.
I just remember, God, you guys, I'm for higher I can come help you do your daughter's or son's dorm room, because can you?
Because you've had like three panic Actually.
I don't, I take that back. You're on your own.
Okay. Next question, s Jones three three six says, are you keeping Fiona's room exactly as it is or turning it into a guest room slash office slash craft room.
Oh my god, can you read my mind?
Oh my god, No, yours, Jones.
It's like you are inside my head.
I asked my mom to keep it the same for just one year in case I want to come back, and she's like, Nope, it's gonna be like three other different spaces now.
No, no, I'm going to keep it basically your room. But I can't be that mom. You know in the movies when they're like thirty and forty years old and the kids go home and the room looks exactly the way it always did. That, I mean, that's pretty cool. You look up and you're like, there's my high school pictures on the wall that we're always there. I'm sorry, I can't do that. I need the space. I've got
new hobbies I need. I need to put my workout room and my yoga room in there, maybe, oh my god, and a place for.
And you're painting the walls a different color.
You know, I'm gonna freshen it up. That's what's gonna happen. I'm just gonna I'm gonna keep your stuff, but I'm gonna fresh.
We're gonna put all myself outside. Here's it going now?
Maybe I'm just in a in a in a closet.
Oh my god, so messed uff.
No, I won't change it until you're ready.
Really.
Yeah, Okay, that's nice of you.
Thank you.
We're gonna wrap this up. But before we go, Fiona, how do you plan on choosing yourself as you make this big transition into this next phase of your life?
Yeah. I mean, there's so many ways that I've thought of. I think that the number one thing I kind of want to focus on is saying yes to things. I know that I can sometimes be a little nervous and shy, but I think putting myself out. They're joining the clubs because in high school I never.
Joined the club. Oh my gosh, we were all like, join the club, it'll be so fun.
You're like, No, I want to expand, like who I am and like even try everything, because I think choosing myself will mean exploring all my options of what I could do and who I could be. And now I think college is such an important time to really find yourself and saying yes to the clubs and you know, joining the sororities or whatever I may want to end up doing. I think it could be really important to just say yes and chiny things.
I love that.
Yeah, I'm really nervous.
Though, See what happens, see what you learn about yourself. Such an exciting time. I'm very excited for you. I'm very proud of you, and I know that you're gonna make smart choices. Yeah, like I always say, right before you pull out the driveway, makes more choices.
But also, I'll be home literally every since I.
Was gonna you, Are there any boundaries around our communication because I as a mom, like I'd never had somebody like literally move into a dorm and go off to college other than Lola, who moved in with her sister Luca was so independent. But I talked to both of them pretty much on the daily. Yeah, and I don't expect that. I heard someone say, so, what is it going to be like for you guys? Are you going to like talk once a week? And I nearly passed out.
No, I don't think that will be the case at all. I think that both of us are going to have our time adjusting to this, and I think we'll probably be talking a lot more than you think. And also I'm close. I'm not like moving across the country like some of my friends, So I'll be home all the time, and I definitely want to keep our connection strong and like you're I mean, you're one of my best friends. I mean, you are my best friends. So I want to stay talking to you of course.
Yeah, oh yeah, well that could change, I know, So whenever I text you too many times, just gee, you know, let me know.
I will no worry.
I love you baby. Thanks for being on today, Thank you for having me