Misspelling with Tori Spelling and iHeartRadio Podcast. Hi, Tricia, how are you?
I'm great? How are you doing?
That? Is nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you virtually. I know. I was trying to think if we've ever met.
I don't think we have. I don't think we've ever worked together.
Our past happened crossed?
I think I would remember. No, I don't think. So it's nice to meet you again.
Nice to me.
I love your glasses.
Oh, thank you. I have a very important question before we get started.
Oh my god, please anything and everything.
Then I swear please to really okay, not that I'm planning. I love you that I'm planning on it, but it tends to fly out of my mouth. So I just want to make sure that that's okay, and hold on. I want to make sure they seem that I can see you better.
You don't want to do that.
I do.
There you are, Hi. Hi, So do you want to start by telling me what you're struggling with or do you I know you've met with some other organizers.
So yeah, my biggest thing at the moment is I have five kids.
I mean, you know you're a busy mom. You're working.
I have five kids, I have pets, I have a life that keeps on going whether you know stuff's here or not. So I tend to put that on the back burner, like, Okay, stuff comes in, we'll put it over there. This kid needs this, this business needs this. I gotta go work today, I gotta go film. And
then that stuff never gets put away. But in the long run, we are a very close, big family in a house that I would say at this point it's less about organizing and more about deciding to remove it, let go of things, let go.
Yeah, And it's definitely.
I know in the past my friends have said like, oh, are you okay to let things go?
I'm like, yeah.
When I was younger, I put emotional attachment on things that came in or that I had, I acquired, I recently got divorced.
In the last two years.
It's been a lot of change for my family and I and I definitely that is not something like I call it doing a gut check. Now when I do a gut check, I'm like, do I care about any of those stuff? I'm like, no, I just want I just need physical hands on your halfway. No one's ever told me that great I'll take it.
Oh, that's half the struggle right there, the single mom thing, single working mom thing, five children part of it. That's the other part of it. But if you're already at the point where you're like, I've been holding onto this stuff and I don't know why, or I'm ready to let it go, or I only want to keep things in the house that I love, use need, you know,
those three things. Everything else, it's like it's just taking up valuable real estate in your home, and it's taken away from like I mean, you know, I mean, it's like fishot butter adds to anxiety. It prevents our kids from focusing the way that they could or should be focusing. You know, it just it's a distraction. It's a visual distraction. And then plus the overwhelm and the and the how daunting it is to have to tackle that mess or that that closet or that area, it's also adds to
stress and anxiety and all that stuff. So that stuff, you know, if you're already at the point where you're like, I only want to keep things in here that serve me and serve my kids, that make me happy. I don't want to say bring me joy because that's not my thing, Like that's.
Something else is say.
But I've always said, like, if I had to get rid of everything in my house that didn't spark joy, I'd be left with my kids in a bottle of vodka. That's it. That's all that I would have to do in my house, do you know what I mean? So it's not necessarily about sparking joy, but if you raise it and you don't love it, yeah, and you don't need it, like it's just taking up space.
You know for sure?
Yeah, I definitely was at the point.
Yeah, I said recently, like I'm fine, everything can go except anything breathing in the house.
Yeah, yes, because exactly the thing. You know, clothes they need to wear, and food that they need to eat, and things that when you look at it, you get all happy and you know, like there's obviously other stuff besides just our kids, but most of it, I would say, most are things that they're just taking up real.
Estate, you know, for sure? And for sure yeah.
Yeah, So you're at that point now where you want to and what is stopping you from aside from the time because you have five kids, I have two and I'm a single mom and I have a hard time.
Finding time, whether it's five or one.
It's hard.
Mom wins is hard, but I would say exponentially harder the more children. Okay, give yourself, you should, absolutely, because that's a huge part of it. Like give yourself a little pat on the back because you're already you're managing so much. Already, you know, but you're already managing so much, I guess, is what I'm saying, you know, And so it's hard to find the time, just even five minutes of your own much less time to sit down and tackle a closet or an area or a room or whatever.
You know. So I get it.
Some slack there, need I need human hands. Yeah, but also like our brains, Like we're both creative brains, but probably our brains work slightly different because I am not an organized person by nature.
Do you get your kids to school a lot of time?
Yeah?
Do you remember their events? Do you remember when they had an assignment to everything? So you're an organized person in.
My brain, but not physically. Okay, does that make sense?
Yes, I guess it does make sense. Like spatially organized, I guess there is a difference between that. But you're able to stay organized when it comes to other people, your schedule, your work schedule, You're able to be organized with your planner and all that correct. So it's really just a matter of instinctively knowing where to put something away or where something goes, or how to clean this up. Is that the distinction?
I guess, So, like I wouldn't typically look at a space and be like, oh, the dishes should go in this cabinet, Like that's but I'm a super creative like design person. Yeah, but I lack that like instinct, and I don't know if that plays a role in going further where things just sometimes don't get put away.
Probably because my main thaying when I'm working with clients is to put things away or to organize in such a way that it makes sense for the space. So everything in this office, stuff that I need or use in my office other than like a place to sit and something pretty to look at, Everything in here belongs in here because this is where I use it.
Right.
If you're in the kitchen and you have it, do you have a dishwasher at your house? Okay, and you're the dishwasher, your plate, your everyday plates, your everyday glasses, your everyday utensils should be as close to the dishwasher as possible. That makes sense. Do you know what I mean? Your laundry thre thing should be close to the laundry room your Do you know what I mean?
Tricia? Yes, I just realized I have good instincts. Then, see, so I don't know what the problem is here.
Well, it may be just a matter of the you're putting things away, or you unpacked things when you moved in in a way that made sense for the space. But perhaps you have too many things, some things that you don't necessarily need. Yes, and those spaces, even though it makes sense these belong here, it's too much for what the space that you have been given. Do you know what I mean? Yes, Like take a closet, sorry, go ahead, go ahead.
No, no, no no. For instance, it's just like kitchen every day plates, you know, cutlery, dishes, all of that, yeah, glasses, everything. This particular kitchen wasn't designed to house all of.
That pretty much.
Not good storage, face, not good cabinets.
And so now we're leasing. But it's beautiful. So when I, when the kids and I walked in, we're like.
Oh, this beautiful open kitchen.
Look at the outdoors, beautiful view, open space. They can be on the couch and I was like, I'm gonna put a sectional here TV. You guys can be, you know, together while I'm cooking off the kitchen. Love fell in love with it, right, And I know better at this point, Like I think I've lived in seventeen houses over the last yeah, throughout those years, so I knew that. I wasn't thinking it was like a new life for us.
And it wasn't until we moved in putting stuff away, I'm like, oh, shoot, there's only two cabinets and they're over here. Wait where do we put the bread? There's no It was like yeah, yes, okay. So if you don't have enough storage, what do you do when you have a big family.
Well, you have to rethink the storage that you've been given, you know what I mean. I'm always adding shelves to existing pantries. Sometimes the pantries are built out. If you have a pantry, do.
You have a pantry, It doesn't have a pantry.
You don't have a fucking pantry. That's my first bomb. That's my first staff bomb, because.
Do I drop it? Because I say, oh, fuck, every day there's no pantry, and then I feel guilty, like, oh my gosh, well I should expect a pantry, but I do have five kids. Some sort of pantry would have been great in this house.
Is there a cabinet that's supposed to be used as a pantry or a weird closet of the kitchen that you don't know?
Nothing, there's not, there's really not. I would say the closest thing to that would be a corner cabinet that when you open it it has like the spin around inside.
I hate those, the little lazy Susan corner.
Yes, that, from what I can see, is the only pantry ish And then under the counter, but the kitchen stools are there. There's a few short with.
Shelves, okay, so not easy to access under the not practical okay, so those.
Really counter the bread the cereal okay?
And is there are there like small appliances or tupperware or things like that that are taking up prime cabinets in your kitchen? No? No, how many cabinets do we can wish? I wish you were in there right now, because those cabinets that are hard to access, like under stools under like on the kitchen island, you know, behind the stools, that's for stuff like the waffle makers and
the lenders. Are the things that you don't use that often, Like that's out of the way, not easy to access, don't need it every day, maybe don't even need it every week. You know, those corner cabinets the same type of thing, like, yeah, smaller appliances, things like that.
And then do you feel like it's best to start?
This is I mean, this is overwhelming for anyone that, like I always said, when we move, we'll do it before we put stuff away. Yeah, But then the kids and I were moving, you know, getting a divorce. I was alone and it was like my friend Ruth Anne, who's on here, she was the only one helping me. I'm like, oh my god, So again I moved to a house that I didn't sort things out.
Before we put it away.
So here we are again. Do you believe now in order to start sorting through what to give away you should take everything out and see what you have?
Or how does that work?
No?
Not all at once? No, not all one?
Right I start.
I literally like to start corner by corner because otherwise it's way too daunting to think about like I have to do a page one rewrite on my entire house, you know what I mean. I love to I love when I get hired by somebody for an unpack and org because like it is so important before you even like settle in that first night, just knowing that everything is in a place that makes sense for that thing.
You know.
Yeah, but if you didn't do that, like most people don't, that's okay, but don't think of it in terms of like, oh my god, I have to rearrange everything in one day, starting like your most problematic area of the area that every time you walk into this corner let's just call it a corner, it's like immediately you tends up, Immediately, you feel overwhelmed, Immediately you want it.
It's just wonder it's where I am right now. Okay, it's I hate seeing this phrasing. It's the formal living room, which like the parlor, yeah, which takes up kind of a good chunk of the house, which moving into it, I was like two houses ago. I'm like, I'm never doing a formal living room because the kids don't use it, because the fireplace is there, the TV's not there, They're not going in there. Let's be realistic. They're all like crouched in the den that's connected to the kitchen because
there's a big, big as TV. So it's this room. I'm in the corner for my podcast. I'm looking at the room.
It's an open space.
I can see straight on one side through to the foyer to the front door. I can see the staircase leading upstairs, and then to the right, I could see straight through to the kitchen and then a window here to the backyard.
Okay, it sounds gorgeous.
By the way, it's beautiful. My family doesn't use it, and now they can't use it because what happened right I got I was sick around the holidays, had like nothing major, just sinus infect number. It was ridiculous, got vertigo from it and I'm still getting over it. It was like, and you know, it's true, when mom goes down, it's like, no shit, yeah, no great, not great, but.
Things.
A lot of things come in for us during the holidays, which I'm grateful for, but it was kind of like, oh, Mom, can you open this box? I'm like, I can't just put in the living room. Well, now the living room has a bunch of stuff that it's like, okay, I think we got to start with this room, right, Yeah, so there's donations here, there's things to put away.
What happened with that room is it was never assigned a purpose because you knew that the kids weren't going to be there or whatever, and so that it became like a little dumping ground thing.
I love that you you could show you pictures of this room. Yeah, it was really the only one that I really decorated.
Oh yeah, oh yeah, so you decorated it.
Oh, I decorated it. I didn't.
I didn't do the shelves.
The shelves I'm looking at them right now and there's only two sets have all of my like antiques and pieces, but it's not staged. Okay there, okay, but I did. I did put painting and I put side tables, chairs, coffee table, lamps. Yeah, it was really pretty.
And the couple months to entertain in there or to do your podcast, like what what instead of they gave it as a formal living m h, you're using it for your podcast? What would you call it? Let's take away? Well, I was going to say take away the formal living room. Idear wait, what did you say? Did I message out?
I said it was a joke, shittle, I did need a joke.
It's I guess, a huge space.
I'm assuming when we were moving and it happened fast, and I had it was it was a lot of pressure and chaos, and I had one night where I was laying in bed. I was like, okay, before we moved. We were in an airbnb before and I was like, when we move into this house, and I had pictures of all the empty rooms, I was like, you know, I was like, I know, a formal living room, it's not going to matter. So I did think shed turned it into like a playroom for the kids, like a
gaming room. Okay, I wasn't sure, but it's such a huge room. But it's an open room, so you hear everything.
Okay, can I ask a cup two questions? How, of course? Is how old are they?
Eighteen seventeen, fourteen, thirteen and eight?
Okay, so playround probably, I mean maybe the eight year old, but I mean I'm assuming that she he.
But when I say playroom, I don't mean like a kid's playroom, something that's functional. They could play board games, they could we were going to put a table, a gaming table so they could play like you know, backham and chests and not be like over there. And then I was gonna put maybe a TV and they could do their gaming here. Do you didn't I changed into a formal living room that no one will ever see. And I don't know why.
The badass boss lady like, why if you do your podcast in there? My guess is that your kids have a ton of space that is their own. And no, they have their bedroom off of the kitchen, the.
Little Yeah, it's like a corner connected to the kitchen.
It's one room.
Do you have a space that's just your own?
No?
No, And it's not ideal, Like right now doing this podcast, I'm in the corner of this open space, first floor formal living room.
Like I said, I could see every into the house.
So it's non ideal, like a home office would be great because anyone comes to the door, you know, yes, deliver's a package. The dog barks, the door unlock, someone opens it. My kids are going in and out upstairs, downstairs, they want to go get some to eat. I'm like, I'm doing a podcast, but it's like that's not fair.
No, But but you like doing your podcast in there, even if you do not like doing.
I do not like doing it here, and they're now working to the bar.
I hate doing this podcast.
I love doing this podcast. I do not like this corner.
Would you use the room if you weren't stuck in the corner, Would you use it as a podcast as a podcast room if you weren't stuck in the corner.
No, because it's an open stated like it's wide open, and I don't think it's fair to a family as big as ours that. And also there's times when I want to be talking about stuff freely, and I still do because I'm me, But I don't want every all my kids to hear.
You know it's like yeah, I got it.
Yeah, But with a family of five, it's really to me, I feel like kind of unrealistic to we were I felt we were lucky to five find a five bedroom to lease in La in our in our school district, right for the price we pay, that's amazing, it's affordable. And but to find a six bedroom house like that's never going to happen.
Yeah, So it's challenging.
Specially so that might be some an issue or a problem that you want to address a year from now or what. Let's just focus on the now part, which is this corner in this room that you're sitting in right now, which has become kind of like the dumping ground. To do with it whatever?
Right? Yeah.
So one of the things I like to tell my clients, which is, like, things come into our house all the time, all day, every day, whether it's an Amazon package, whether it's gifts, whether it's purchases, whatever, anythink that's not food related, right, Gifts, purchases, packages.
Kind of a rule of thumb here is that if if it's something, if it's not something that you're so excited about, so excited to use, so excited to wear that you immediately unpack it and put it on, or immediately unpack it and display it, or immediately unpack it and put away because you.
Know you're gonna need it tomorrow or something you probably will never use it. So so I like to tell people the second you bring something in, and that could be junk mail, it could be every day mail, it could be a package, whatever, immediately open, throw away, or recycle the end of lopes, throw recycle.
The boxes, and then what do I do with this thing? Do I love it? Am I keeping it?
Yeah?
No, I love it. I'm totally keeping right. Where does it go? It's a specially, it's going in the kitchen. Okay, it's a pair of jeans is going in my closet.
So okay, this is all my theory BECs. I'm trying to wrap my head around this. So if you bring in something new, But what if you bring in something new.
I know what you're gonna say, but you don't have space for it.
But you love that piece and you want to keep it, then you're going to say you need to make take things out.
What if you don't have time.
Well, I think you don't have time. If you think of it like we said said before, if you're thinking about the terms of like every room needs to be cleared of stuff that I don't use or don't want or don't need. Right, if you're thinking about like as a whole house project, it's way too overwhelming, especially for a working single mother of fun that you can't you have to be like, okay today and I'm going to make space in this corner of the parlor and I'm
going to spend two hours doing it. Tops like literally just make quick decisions and have somebody helping you. That's what I do, or a friend or whoever, quick decisions about it everything. Do you love it, do you use it? Do you need it? The answer is no. Where's it going to go? Is it going? Is it leaving the house with your friend or your organizer to be domained?
Is it going into your car in a bag for a friend because you know they're gonna love it, But you've got to get it out of that room and
just think of it in terms of little projects. Start where you are, you know what I mean, it's just two hours do that, and then I'm telling you that's momentum, like just clearing that one space that I'm pointing over here because you said it's this eyeline, it's this corner, right, m hm right, Because so just clearing that is going to You're going to feel lighter, and it's going to motivate you to tackle the next corner, or the next cabinet,
or the next closet, little baby sets. So don't think i've in terms of the whole house page one rewrite. That's you'll never do it.
It's too much, right and predominantly right now, it is this one room. Yeah, it's become a catch all for everything.
Right, So, so, yeah, do you have people offering help right now? Do you want me to come over? Yeah, with a bottle of wine.
I feel bad asking my friends because I feel like they have their own lives, they have kids, they have animals, and it's like or they they'll say like, great, I'll come over, but then life happens. It's like, oh my god, no, I have to take this kid to the doctor, Oh my god, this work thing came up. Let's do it next week. And they're like, okay, let me know, and then just you.
Know, right, And that, quite honestly, is that's why. That's why professional organizers exist.
It's better, like that's why.
Yeah. And it's also easier set a date and just do it for us to keep you on tasks. It's easier to get distracted when you're when you're doing it with a friend. And I agree, you don't want to take away from their lives.
But what if we become friends, then what happens? I promise to keep me on tasks?
Yes, and as your new best friend, I know how good it's going to be for you to clear this space. Definitely, well good, It's going to be for you mentally, physically, all of that. It just it just is. It's you know, how old are your kids. They're seventeen and fifteen and most certainly drunk, most certainly what trying to kill me?
Oh, trying to kill you?
You're right now, but yeah, yeah, they tend to do that.
Like it changes, not just dayly, like on a moment by moment basis when you're within them. So yes, it's hard, and you have five of that.
It's interesting because people say they understand, but I don't know if they really do understand unless you're in it, and I don't. I don't know, And so I'm very like when people are like, oh, come on, you can do this for one hour, you can make this plan. You can, I want to say, like, you know, they just don't. They're not in my life. Yeah, yeah, you know, second by second, so they don't quite understand. So I try to give that grace. But it really is a
moving piece my life. It's never a still standstill like it's.
Yeah, yeah, and I think only single mind. There are single dads too, and I want to give them a shad out because it's just hard when you're a single parent period, yes, but I think it's just different for moms, Like there's just something like we can't like they have a bad morning, we hold on to that all day. It affects everything for the rest of the day, even if they forget it, like the second they get to school. Do you know what I mean? Like, there's just an emotional.
I know exactly what you mean. And I suffer from that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We take on their energy and then they'll be over it. My daughter will confide in me in something, and then it'll be in the morning and that night I'll talk to and he's like, are you okay?
What's wrong?
And I'm like, oh, shoot, I can't sleep at night. I'll be sitting there just like not only thinking about what do the kids have coming up? What am I you know, did I forget anything, but also their emotions that whole day, what they're navigating, their relationships, their friends, their you know, boyfriend or girlfriend. It's like, oh, I'm now taking on more two of my oldest kids, my son has a girlfriend and my daughter has a boyfriend. And so I feel like, now, you know, those are
like my extended family. Yes, I love them, love them so grateful, but it's like, Okay, so now I have seven kids, you know, it's like.
At your house all the time.
Yeah.
Also if you are, I.
Take on everyone's emotions and then I can't shake it off. And I don't know why.
I don't know why we do this to ourselves. Like I'm still on the fence about having kids, and I have them and I don't. It's the hardest thing in.
The world, and their most rewarding things and the most rewarding It's hard. It's a hard thing to juggle. There's no manuals. I feel like it gets harder as they get older, not easier.
Yeah, it does. It's it's in a totally different way because at least when they were little, we could like we had some control over you know, their hygiene and what they ate, how they fed themselves, how they took care of themselves, did they get enough sleep, their screen time, all of that stuff. And then they're older. God, if only I could you know, take control of that, which can't anyway, you know.
Right, we had like physical control, and we don't have that as they get older. So we're trying to like do the emotional control and make sure everything's okay and it's just, yeah, it's challenging.
Yeah, going back to my living room.
I'm really liking this tangent. But I do want to say one more thing about that, though, because I do think that being a single mom of five is a huge piece of this, and as a single mom, I can speak from experience that, like, if you're not figuring out and your extremely busy schedule life, figuring out a small teeny tiny space that is just your own and a small teeny tiny chunk of time that is just for you. So but it's so important, honest to God,
for our mental health, it's so important. And that also, like freeing that up and giving yourself just those two tiny little gifts helps with the space and helps with the stuff and all of that because you're taking care of yourself first in a small way, and then it trickles over, you know what I mean?
And I do.
When my kids were younger, I decided to start waking up thirty minutes before the I woke up or before I had less you, Yeah, and just to have my coffee in peace and like read the news or I don't do a couple sit ups. I don't know something anything that was just for me before they woke up. But my point is I've never regretted doing that, taking that half hour in the morning and then a space
that's just my own. And like, even if it's just those little things, I want you to try and do that, it's so you're taking care of so many other people and so many other things that it's just.
I'm currently my space. My space is my car right now.
Yeah, yeah, just sit on your.
But it's more it's like my office too.
Like I will pick up a child, bring the child home, get them inside, sit in my driveway and I can see in here, so I know, you know, he go upstairs to other siblings or home, and then my oldest daughter will come out. She's like, they're always worried.
Yeah, yeah, she's okay, Mammy.
She's like, mom everything because she knows anything could happen in my life. You know, everything blows. Yeah, Mom, everything okay. And I said, oh yeah, it's just it's quiet in here. There's no kids, you know, talking, screaming, walking dogs, barking, cats, me owing. I'm getting emails and I'm like, I'm being really productive, but I'm literally in my car, in my own driveway.
That's okay, whatever works. Whatever works.
I always say I should set up a ring light in there, I should set up a station. Like I'm not doing this while I'm driving people. I'm literally parked in my driveway, but I'll be in there for like thirty minutes taking care of work.
It's like that is That's exactly what I'm talking about though. If that's the only space that you can find that, it is just great.
But it's not me time, like I'm well, not exactly, like I'm not listening to music, I'm not meditating.
I'm like getting shit done. I'm doing work.
That's okay because that's quiet load of it. Still, that's still lightning a load which has a business and mental positive physical and mental effect. Right, getting stuff done is self care.
Okay, I like that, do you know what I mean?
Yeah, back to the living room. Yes, no, So anyway, that's what I think you set aside too.
We always know a good callback back to living.
But it's all doable. I just you know, you understand why you're in this position. It's normal. You're a mom and you know like it happens. So you just got to make a commitment to start set aside two hours and have somebody come and help you. And if you want it to be me, I will do it happily.
Thank you, thank you.
Oh can I go back really quick? When you said, like put a bag and put in your car, Yeah, have stuff. So there's two giant bags that about six months ago, I would say. I went through my closet, which is just like one of those movable doors fighting thing. It's not a bit.
Yeah. Another thing.
When I came and looked at the house, I was like, it's perfect, it's beautiful. My bedroom's cool. Didn't look good at the closets, the closet space all around, like my kids, I think have a bigger closet than I know, which is crazy literally, but I was like, okay, here's clothes I'm never gonna wear. But there were you know, I've worn them before sometimes, as you know as an actress, like you wear someone to an event, there's a photograph, you can't not you can't wear it again, but not
for a while. And so I'm like, oh, let me share with my friends.
They would love it.
So I put like two huge bags together and I'm like, okay, I'm gonna go to my friend's house. When I see her and I put it in my car. I was six months ago. Those two bags are still in my car.
Have you seen your friends?
No, I've not seen her, but I'm like, I still have this bag for her, and I'm like, what am I doing?
You just do it? I mean, if if I were you, I would say, hey, I've had these two bags in my car.
She didn't ask me for it, though, I'm just something I am doing, Yeah, I would. I drive my Goodwill multiple times a week, and in the back of my head, I'm like rushing somewhere. I'm like, I should just take those two bags there, Like was it a nice thought to give it to my friend?
Yes, but it's not happening in six months.
Just give it to good Will?
Yeah, yes, So I just it's things like that that I just need to just do.
So piggyback it onto another errand do you know what I mean? Like if there's a there's another spot nearby that you know you have to go to next week, put in your calendar, drop stuff like right before that appointment, you know, I drop a Goodwill you know what I mean?
Like sort of tack it on to another. I'm constantly making donations for clients, So I'm always having to do that and I literally think in terms of, oh shit, well I have to go to the ups, so I'm also going to go to you know, and that kind of helps. But yes, I agree with you, like if you've been holding onto it because it's it's stuff that she may or may not like, but it's been six months, I've just been get rid of it. Yeah, and you're going to make somebody super happy once you find it.
I could, will you know what I mean?
Yes?
What other things are you going on to?
That's it? Everything else?
I just and that one I'm only holding on too because I put in the car and just haven't gone to her house.
But when you had the right idea, you really have needed to. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. So now I just need someone that's gonna have the time and just be like help me focus and be like, okay, right now I'm going to do this, keep donate gift like yep, yep, and then move it out.
Yeah. And I'm telling you, I think I know that you're leasing it so in your mind that that space might be temporary, that's a good.
Right.
And at that part of it where you kind of don't want to get rid of consciously.
Yeah, not that I don't want to get rid of it, No, you know what, You're right. Like, for instance, there's a chair that doesn't really fit in this living room. But I'm like, well, we don't own this house. I don't know how long we're staying in this house. Is it a year, is it two years?
Is it five years? I'm not sure. But that's a really great chair. What if the next house I need it in?
Yeah, you're right. There are a few pieces like that. Like I'm looking at one chair right now, but it shouldn't be in here. But I'm like, oh, I really love that.
Yeah, but you just said the magic words. I mean, if it's one or two pieces that you really love, keep it, then keep it kind of place for it, find a room for it, whatever, there's no is it taking up space or does it just not look right in that room both? Is it just sort of like haphazardly kind of sitting around before? Hi?
I'm looking at her right now, all right, But there's just a lovely antique leather chair though that I love. But she just doesn't go in this room.
And there's no space for her in this anywhere else? Yeah, Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I'm not going to tell you to get rid of a fabulous chair that you've had for years that you are madly in love with. I just won't. I'd rather have you turned that corner into a cute little reading nook that serves the chair. Honestly, Like, but I think right now, are you putting stuff on it?
Is that part of the yeah?
Yeah, all right. So you clear the space of everything that is never not going to be used in that room or enjoyed in that room by looking at it or right, and that chair becomes its own little nook reading nook. That's where you have to love your coffee in the morning, you know, like put it a nice throw over it and a reading lamp or something and just have your coffee there. I don't know, give it a honor it, you love it so much, Honor it.
Make it work in that space, you know, But first you get it, get rid of the stuff that's covering it.
Yeah, you know, I agree, that makes sense.
It does, and then just kind of go room by room in that way, like Okay, this weekend it's the space, and then next weekend it's the space, or you know, and I also really like to do kind of like an end of day sweep, so that wherever your special space is, wherever you have your coffee in the morning, if you decide to do that before the kids wake up, you want to make sure that whole space is clear, kitchen counters are clear, there's no dishes in the sink,
even if it takes ten minutes, just like end of day sweeps, and when you're walking, you're starting your day in the space.
But again, this sounds good in theory, I know, well, it's just it's hard. It's almost like, you know, at times, I feel like I'm running a restaurant, you know, like yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm the cook, I'm cleaning up it's.
And then you're exhausted at the end of the night, and so that's the last thing that you want to do, right, But yeah, there's some things that only we can do. We're the mom. And I think part of your problem, like what you were talking about with your kitchen is part of the problem is your that space is not working for you because you don't have the cabinet space or whatever. So I think after that corner, the kitchen is super important. That's the hub of the home, right
the heart of that home. So I think creating that space in the kitchen, figuring out how to maximize the story.
To one whole side of the kitchen.
They did open windows instead of cats so that you could see the beautiful view.
Which probably adds to how pretty the kitchen is, but that.
It does, but it literally took off one whole side of the kitchen.
Yeah, okay, this is a really dumb question. But you have five kits. You probably have a ton of like plates and a ton of mugs and a ton of glasses because you need them. I'm a family of free so I don't need more than like six, you know, But is there a way to purge in your kitchen as well?
Definitely I have done. Okay that I have done, but still just housing. Yeah, plates, glasses, bowls, cutlery, everything, you know, spices, everything for so I can cook as we cook a lot for five children and their friends. It's more than the space we have to put stuff. Yeah, and that's never going to change like again momentarily.
Yeah.
Yeah, Well I was just gonna say, if you want to, like send me a video or a picture and I can you know of just the space that you do have you know, I'd love to give you some thoughts or some suggestions of ways to maximize it. I mean, like it's it's not an uncommon problem, you know, but i'd have to just see it to to give you some advice. But that is a that is a problem, that's just not an uncommon one. And they're interested, you know.
Okay, Well, I know my marching orders now.
Yes, which are repeat that place.
I'm going to start with a corner. I'm going to set two hours aside. I'm going to do I can't rewrite the whole story, especially since I don't even know the ending yet. And it can that was good any it can go on anywhere which way I wanted to. But at this point in the storyline, I can start to make slow changes.
I do need people to help me.
To organize and then to remove. Yeah, and I'm going to start with this living room.
Okay, and I do you did great? And also I just want you to repeat this. It's okay to ask for help.
You lost me there.
No, I'm just kidding. I'm learning. I'm trying. I'm trying so hard. It's just going to be the year of me asking for help because you know, just doing it all on my own. You know when they say it takes the village, it takes a village, and once in a while, we can't do it all on our own.
And I at this point there's also part of it, and I know you probably have to go, but like there's part of it. Where as single moms, I'm going to pull that card again. As single moms, it's there's almost like we have to prove to our children. We want them to see us doing it all by ourselves. Like I don't need no stigma. I'm like, I, whatever it is, whatever, I want them to see me killing the spiders, me taking the or you know, saving that from spiders, me taking the bins out, me fixing you know,
using my drill and fixing something like yeah. So we get so into this pattern of like I want to prove to them we can do anything right, you know that we and that filters into our like I'm not going to ask adults for help. I'm not going to ask anybody for help. I want to prove to everybody, including myself, that I can do everything by myself. But like at some point it's at the expense of like our own sanity, and mental health and so we can. And the people in your life want to help you,
and that's something I'm trying to get better at. You know, the people who love us want to help us, but they can't unless we.
Ask ye angry, Yeah, Tricia, thank you.
Thank you Annie. If you have any questions, please call me or text me or whatever.
I would love to Yeah, I would love to stay in contact.
I would love to too. This was a pleasure, and you're going to be okay, I'll.
Go for sure, of course, I always am.
Yes, got to get this stuff at the house, all right, make the date, okay, mon as soon as we hang up, make the date. Okay, Thank you, Janks Tooring, bye bye. Mmmmmmm.