Welcome back to I Do Part two.
I'm one of your celebrity mentors, Kelly ben Simon, and today I have an incredible guest. You know her as the star of Netflix My Unorthodox Life. She's the CEO of Elite World Group, a fashion designer, an entrepreneur, and all around bedass And like all of us on this pod, she's been through it in the love department. I can't wait to dive into religion and relationships.
Please welcome Julia Hart, Hi with the Big Heart. Listen. I need to talk to you. I've watched your.
Show, My Unorthodox Life, and first of all, I want to tell you I really appreciate you who for you you are, your opening up about your your own journey, and your daughters are so beautiful, and your son. I was very moved, very very moved, And I was watching the show with my youngest daughter, and so we were just very you know, taken aback by your story and just the way that you raise your children. And it
was just very really, really beautiful. So, for those who don't know, Julia Hart is iconic, and she came from an ultra orthodox Jewish community. So for those who aren't familiar with with Orthodox lifestyle. Can you explain to our audience what that looks like.
Well, just think of it as a mix between Bridgerton and Handmaid's Tale, so minus the fabulous costumes and the gowns and the parties. Basically, you're defined by your biology as a woman. You have one purpose in life, and all women are supposed to do the exact same thing, and that is have children, get married, be subservient to your husband. And basically your ability to be good or bad is all dependent on a man. So if you're a good woman, that means you don't attract me ale attention.
You keep in the background, you stay silent, you do whatever your husband tells you, and you just raise as many babies as humanly possible. A bad woman is someone who is outgoing, who is noticeable, who argues with men. So your entire destiny, who you are as a human being, is all in a relation to a man. That's pretty much it.
Wow, was there anything about the Orthodox life that you liked?
Community? I love the people there, you know, I always say, even in my book, there are no villains in my story, right, there's only victims because the people in the community are extraordinary. When my brother was killed. My brother died when he was five. He was killed in a car accident. And if I tell you that, every person in that community found a way to make us feel loved. We had CEOs sweeping our floor, we had people bringing us food every day. The community. The sense of love that's there
is really beautiful. And I think also there's some traits that you know, are so instilled in you that I think they've really carried me well throughout, you know, the rest of my journey so far. Gratitude is a big one. You are always in a state of gratitude. And I think that that's something that gets lost here in the outside world. Is it's give me, give me, give me,
not think you, thank you, thank you. And I think if more people were looking at what they owed the world and what the world owed them, would be in a much better place.
That is so beautifully well said. And I mean, I just I'm just I'm very like, I'm just very moved by you.
So you know, if you.
Just I mean, you are absolutely stunningly kid. Wow, your magnificent. It's so beautiful.
So I started this podcast because I called off my wedding four days before.
I was supposed to get married.
I'm so jealous.
Why didn't you call me? Jesus?
And the reason that I called off one of the reasons I called off the wedding is because my fiance at the time wouldn't send my prenap And you know, looking back now and reflecting back, I'm like, Okay, that was the biggest gift that.
Anyone has given me.
And so I am so grateful for that moment and for this podcast, and I've learned so much about myself, and I'm really excited to talk to you about dating in your fifties. Filter I would just jump into that quickly because it's a hot It's like a hot button topic, dating in your fifties.
We were like, what's it like? Must be awful? Men?
Are your pen pals? Like, what are your thoughts on dating in your fifties?
Okay, so I am going to, like, you know, I pretty much disagree with all of that, only because, first of all, this is the first time I got I've dated. Think about it. I left when I was forty two. The first I would say, nine months was just sex because I hadn't had real sex. So I just wanted to experience that I'm not going to call that dating, right, The first guy slept was a twenty one year old SIRC to sole acrobat, so you get the general idea.
Wow.
And then I met a guy that became my boyfriend, and after I broke up with him, I met my husband. So I never actually got to date so the first time in my life, because you know, I didn't go to high school with boys. I didn't go to the prom, I didn't have my first kiss, I didn't have a first boyfriend. I married a guy I met for a bunch of hours and that was it, you know, and I'd never touched him before we married. So I just started dating at fifty three. So, you know, for me,
it's so fun. You know, I'm having a last First of all, I tend to date very young. I date guys like late twenties, early Thirties's amazing, and we're kind of at the same place in our life, right, I've been working for twelve years. Guys in their thirties have left college, they've been working for twelve years, so we're in the same spot.
You know.
I've found that most guys my age, they want to play golf, they want to play tennis. They want to vacation. I'm just getting started. I love business, I love creating things. I have so many different companies that are actually going to be coming up in the next few years of things that I've invented. So my energy is not necessarily got for guys my age, you know. And so I've been having just an amazing time now. Of course, have I met anyone who I would consider a boyfriend?
No?
Have I been having a lot of fun in the process, yes, yes, Oh my god, it's been great.
Well, I was just wondering too, because, like we were saying that, you know, and I were in a very similar boat. Like, you know, when I was on Housewives and I got divorced, people were like, oh my god, you're single, Like what's wrong with you? Being single and having two children was like kind of like you had like some awful sease, infectious disease. I'm like, I'm just you know, a mindful human that wants to make sure that my girls have everything and just making sure.
So you're stunning, like any guy on earth would be like literally on the floor your toes, begging to date you.
I'm taking you with me, I'm gonna ping you in my pocket. I'm going to take you with you, at me, with me everywhere.
I can't get over. Thank you, thank you.
But you know it's interesting that you know, and a lot of people were like, well, you know, because of what you've done in your past with your work and you know what you look like. You know, people are intimidated by you. And I'm like, I'm sorry, what so that so now? And now I'm supposed toill, like be on my back foot feeling like I shouldn't be, you know, showing off my superpower whatever that is I should be.
It was very strange and it wasn't by men.
It was by women.
It was by women.
But you know, what do you think of that? You know what's so interesting? When I was shituch dating, which is very different like when I was nineteen, I was going to the process of getting married and you know, there's a matchmaker and you meet the guy and it's only allowed to be in public, and it's only supposed to be the whole date cannot last for more than three hours, including driving, so you basically get like an hour and a half to two hours and you get
you know, three to five dates. So somewhere between fifteen hours. You have to decide if this person is the person who needs spend the rest of your life with. And every time before I would go out, they would say to me, Julia, just don't talk. Don't let him know that you're smart. It's very men don't like that if you want to get married. Zip it. And I remember when I left my community I came to this world. I thought, no one is ever going to tell that
to me again. And lo and behold, women get told that all the time, all the time, not back there here here, in this, in this world where there isn't supposed to be religious fundamentalism. And yes, it's so ingrained in our society that women are supposed to be quiet, demure. You know, someone asked me the other day, how do you know that it's inherent and intrinsic in our society, this inequity. And I always tell people, look at the words. You learn so much about a culture of society by
the language. Right in Alaska there are more words for ice than in any other language in the world, which makes sense. They're surrounded by ice. Let's look at the words people use when they describe successful women bad ass, bitch. Why is it that men are not called bad asshole bastards when they're successful. They're captains of industry, right, think about it, right, they're captains of industry, they're leaders, they're titans. Women are bad ass bitches.
Right or like boss, bitch and witch?
Why think about the demure? Does that word ever apply to a man? Never? How about well behaved? Have you ever heard anyone ever say he's a well behaved man?
Of course not.
Women are supposed to be demure and well behaved and wait our turn and be polite because guess what, if you're not, they're not gonna call you a leader or charismatic. They're gonna say you're a seductress, which, by the way, I've gotten accused of. So I'm not charismatic. I'm no.
Excuse my language, that's hell.
I'm sorry. Why is it that men are charismatic but women are seductive? And the difference is that has a negative connotation and the other one is a compliment. So everything about you, you know, as I was driving over here, I was thinking about, you know, uh, lasers and injections and things because I was listening to somebody wait.
To talk about and your relationships. You're thinking about lasers.
Well, yeah, seriously, I was. I was listening to somebody on the I mean, and the guy was like, you know, women spend so much money lasering themselves, injecting themselves. I don't do any of that stuff. And I think to myself, how incredibly hypocritical. The entire world forces us to look beautiful until the day we die, yells at us if we're not perfect, and then then complains that we have to do things to follow their version of what we should look like. I mean, it's a lose lose all around.
No matter what you do, they're gonna yell at you. So my personal advice is just fall of it and do what makes it feel good.
So let's talk about some mistakes, because you know, there's do you have any mistakes that you've made that you would tell your daughter to make the same ones.
To make the same mistake as in meaning that it's not a mistake, right right.
So yeah, I mean.
A mistake, you know, I don't even know or care. I don't know. Like the mistakes that I've made are things that I think are mistakes, like getting married again, not listening to the voice inside my head. That's a danger danger being too trusting. You know, those the things that I think of a mistakes are real mistakes. What other people think of a mistakes. I stopped listening to that long ago. I don't even know. You'd have to ask other people. Yeah, I don't actually have an idea.
There's one scene where you're sitting in your bedroom with your youngest daughter that really really struck a chord with me, and where you guys are talking about how you're in your room crying and she comes in, and you know, I had a similar situation like that where I was like literally cry in my closet, like I'm like, this is not my world, this is not my life, this is not my life. And I mean, you know, my ex husband's French. So as soon as we got married,
he cut a fall in the tower. I had blonde, short hair, I had were turtlenecks and pants, and I was supposed to be like the perfect wife for him for you know, whatever he was doing while he was feeling gorgeous. And I'll never forget the day that I was like, this is over. I went to I was in Easthampton and I went to town and I bought this This aveda shampoo and I put the shampoo on my hair and it was, all of a sudden, my entire head went, you know, dark, because it's that that's that chestnut.
I mean, obviously it looked like squirrel hair, but the point, yes, all of a sudden, I was like, there I am, and like it was like a game changer. And you know, it's not my job to you know, I can say whatever I want about my ex because he's my ex. I don't like him when other people say anything about him,
but you know, I'm so grateful for that moment. And when I saw you with your daughter, I was just like, oh my god, you guys are so I love that you chose your children because I always choose my children.
Oh it is.
And you know what really hurt is that that scene that we were filming was at the end of January, and it wasn't me in my room or in my closet. It was me naked on the bathroom floor. Because what he used to do was scream at me when I was in the shower, when I was in the bath, when I was on the toilet, when I was at
my most vulnerable. He would come and scream and yell at me, and that one time, it was so loud that my daughter heard it from upstairs and that's why she came downstairs to the bathroom to see what was going on. And then she called Badheva to say should I call the police? Like what do I do? Because she didn't come in to see me crying. She was standing by the door watching him scream and yell and brate me while I was naked on the floor crying.
I am so sorry, and that did not come across and I am so sorry.
And when we told that story to the judge because the I filed two complaints against him, and because I didn't mention it in the first complaint, and the reason I didn't is because I had thirty to write it and I was so distraught and I hadn't slept that I just didn't think of it. And then when I mentioned it in the second complaint, the judge didn't believe me, said, if it was true, it would have been mentioned in
the first complaint. And I'll tell you something that really hurts, and that is that my telling my daughter that story was almost a week and a half before my first complaint, So if I had made it up to hurt him. I would have woul in the first thing I put in if I'd made it up, I would have made it up after before. But the reality is that's what happened, and the fact that women are just they're not believed.
I had so much evidence and so much proof, and it took years, and it took two whistleblowers coming forward before I started being believed. And now, of course there's warrants out for his arrest. He's fled the country, his passport has been revoked, his license has been revoked. He tries to come in, he'll be arrested at customs. But it took three and a half years fighting before someone believed me.
That is awful.
You know, it's interesting too because at the beginning, when you're talking about your like you're Gwyneth Paltrow uncoupling, if you will, Like you just seemed very calm and relaxed, and you're like basically like, you know, things don't necessarily things aren't what they seem and things aren't working out, and then later on we see just like how painful everything is for you, and you know, you know you can't just because you fall in love with someone doesn't
mean that you understand how you're going to fall out of love with them.
Or how they're going to treat you right, you know. To me in the beginning, it was a I just want to be left alone. I want to go my own way. I built a billion dollar business. You take half, I take half, and we walk away into the sunset. I had no desire to tell anyone what was going on in my marriage. It was extremely embarrassed at how I let him, you know, take advantage of me and the way that he treated me, and I just wanted
it to be over. But then you know that song, don't lie about me, and I won't tell the truth about you. That's what happened. He lied, I had to tell the truth.
Oh my god, you were dropping some major stuff here. Okay, so that is unbelievable.
So religion and relationships, because I have dated men that are Jewish, I am Catholic, my children are half Jewish. What are your thoughts on religion and dating and.
Relationship shouldn't matter. I think if a belief system supersedes love, then you're an extremist.
Right.
Love is greater than what you call God or what food you eat or what place you worship. If you have love, does the rest really really matter? I don't think so. I don't believe it.
You know, it's interesting sitting here talking to you because you are so well put together. I mean you're physically so well put together, and you're mentally so well put together, and you're wildly articulate.
Like what like there's I mean, there's obviously.
So many things that have happened to you outside of just the religious factor and these and these two divorces, but like, what is it that was like your moment where you're just like, I just can't do this anymore.
With with my marriage, I mean, in life, your marriage, it was so many There were so many moments where, you know, I think change is sometimes forced upon us because we get to a level of such extreme misery that we don't have a choice that it really comes down to I'm either going to end up killing myself or I got to get out of here. And and
that's happened to me now twice in my life. First to get out of my community and then to get out of my marriage where it was really I watched myself being shrunk, I watched myself being pressed down into this invisible being, and I knew that I couldn't survive. So it was either fight for my freedom or just give up. And I don't have give up in my psyche.
I also like the fact that you're like the like the ultimate matriarch where you organize this dinner for your ex husband and is not I mean, that was iconic and you're like, Okay, it's fine, Like everyone's just going to come to dinner or it's gonna hang out. If I tell the girls beforehand, they're not going to show up and everyone's like, what is going on here, You're like, it's.
Fine, It's all about the children. In the end, Is it better for my children for the ex husband that I had kids with, Not Sylvia, but my first ex US friend. Is it better for my children for us to be friends or not? That was a question will it harm them or hurt or or you know, in other words, if he was a bad father, that would have been one thing.
But he's not. He's a great dad.
And because he's a great dad, that meant to me that no matter what the relationship between the two of us was, that should impact my kids. And I really wanted to make sure that even after he got married, which she has every right to do. Why not should live alone for the rest of his life. No, And I think his wife is a lovely, lovely person.
She is, She's a.
Wonderful human being. She treats my youngest so beautifully. I'm so grateful for that. And so I don't mess with people unless they torture me first. That's basically the rule. But then if you come for me, I will fight for truth on justice.
I love that.
I wish that you had been with me on Housewives. I would have brought you to Scary Island. I'd be like, here's my secret power name.
It's Julia Hart.
You and I would have a lot away from me. I've got Julie here. Everyone would be.
Like, ah.
So there's this whole new movement called, you know, the traditional wives. And I was watching on TikTok last night and I'm thinking to myself, like, I'm on the fence about how I.
Feel about this. First of all, I want to hear your thoughts.
And then I'll tell me I don't know that.
So traditional wives is basically this kind of new mindset where women are, you know, at home, and that they're like the best wife like you were talking about before the quintessential wife where they're cooking and they're baking, and they're you know, serving their husbands and they're making sure that their children are you know, educated, and their home is night you know, is well kept. Like what do
you think about this new movement? I mean the girls on the show on the on TikTok, like, listen, I support anyone who's making money, however they're making money. I am a like an avid supporter of women making money, hands down, but I'd just like think this is a very funny trend.
I'm like, what is going on? Do you have to wear ruffles to be a traditional? Like? What is you know what?
I would say that it's not new. I would say it's someone going backwards in time, right. And you know, human nature is such that we crave the opposite of what we have, right. So, you know, kids who grew up in the sixties where it was wild, free love, they created a lot more structure. Women who grew up in a very structured society become more free. It's human nature to think that what your parents did was idiotic and to try something new. So because I think there's
you know, there was the me too movement. There's this whole push for women to become financially independent. If I tell you how many times when I was creative director of La Perla, and I spent a lot of times in my store because to me, fashion when I came into fashion was for women, but it wasn't for women. Nobody cared how they felt. No one cared if they were comfortable. I got yelled at by magazine editors and told Julia comfort is a dirty word. Women are supposed
to suffer for fashion. And I'm looking at them saying, what why?
Who said?
I mean, this is ridiculous. But that was the kind of concept right until literally twenty sixteen. They were stilling for a beauty. So I think it's just human nature. Is whatever your family or you know, the generation before you did, you're going to try the opposite way. So this is just a flashback. I would love to see these young ladies ten years into this, you know, being a perfect housewife where they don't have autonomy and they
have to ask permission before they purchase something. And that's what I was saying about La Pearl. I would spend a lot of times in the store, and if I to you how many times a woman would come in and want to buy something and she'd say, I have to call my husband and see if I can buy it. I remember thinking to myself, my goal in this world is to make an army of financially independent women who
never have to ask permission. And let's give them ten years in their perfect life where they don't make their own money and they have to ask their husband for everything. Let's get them on the show after that, because I promise you they'll be just as miserable as I was.
Well, what's interesting because like the reason that the sixties, like you were talking about this free love, the reason that the sixties was this movement is.
Because of the advent of the pill.
So before that it was like you comunicated to pro create, like you're only having sex to have kids. Then all of a sudden, the advent of the pill, and people are like feeling gorgeous, which is great, but you know, I think that I mean, there's there's there's there is five medium, right, there's not in middle society, and we're always going to have these different levels and layers and I and I, you know, whoever wants to live the life that they want to live.
That's great. I mean, listen, would I like to, like.
You know, be at home and taking care of my kids as opposed to like working like a workhorse.
Yeah, I would have loved that. I would have loved to have been like be gorgeous thoroughbred and not be the draft horse. Like. I would have loved that.
I think there's a difference here between wanting to be a traditional life and wanting to be a stay at home mom because to me, being a stay at home mom. If you want to be a stay at home mom, I think it's one of the most beautiful jobs on us.
But you're also a CEO of the house. It's very stressful.
That's what I'm saying. Like, I don't think of a stay at home mom as someone who is going back to me when you say, I don't know the movement, so I'm just to me. When I hear traditional wife, I hear someone who's not working, who's not making her own money, who's asking her husband for permission, who has an inferior role in the marriage. That's exactly what that is, as opposed to a stay at home mom, which I
think is an extraordinarily beautiful thing to do. I was a stay at home mom and I loved every second of it. I worked as well. But if someone wants to not work and raise her children, I don't think that makes her traditional as long as you know, either she has a profession to fall back on if this hits the fan, or there's a way for her to take care of herself and her children. I just think every woman should be financially independent. I was with a friend of mine and she told me this story, and
I think it's really applies to this. She's a Someone asked her she was speaking, and someone asked her what she does for a living, and she says, I run a home for unwanted children. And the whole audience was like, WHOA, that's amazing. Where do you find them? How does that work? And she's like, no, no, they're mine, but no one else wants them. And that's the truth.
That is the truth.
When you're a stay at home mom, A, you are raising human beings. I respect that, I admire that, and I think every woman should have the choice whether she just wants to do that, or wants to do that and work, or wants to just work. We shouldn't be punished for what we feel inside of our hearts. But that to me is not a traditional housewife. A traditional housewife is a mindset of the man is the boss that I'm not okay with.
You know, It's interesting because I I am from Rockford, Illinois, so I was raised in this very traditional environment, suburban environment. My dad's lawyer. My mother was a stay at home mom. She was philanthropists. She you know, raised us, and you.
Know, that's beautiful, that's how we were raised. And then my.
Mother felt she was I've had really really severe migraines growing up, like very very severe from like my early childhood, and so she was very, very sick all the time, and being raised in an environment where she was so out of commission, out of commission and debilitated like irregularly. So it was a very difficult way to be raised because she was when she was on, she was on, and when she was off, she was off.
And there was no kind of like she's going to be here, she's at work. She wasn't at work. She was just she couldn't, you know. So it was very difficult being raised in that environment.
But what I think is fascinating is that later on she became she started working, so she was in this very traditional environment and then she had these you know this, these medical issues, and then she got you know, she she started to work. And you know, she always used to push us, be very very very aggressive about us working and providing. And my older sister and I always and I have a twin brother, but like always with us, like you have to.
Make your own money. You have to have your that's my only rule. And it was just a strange.
It was also like this odd messaging because on the one hand, it's like.
That's not what she was right. She was trying to tell you that the way that she lived was not the way that she wanted you to live. And I think that's what I'm saying, Like I think, if you want to be a stay at home mom, it's beautiful. Just make sure you can support yourself, right. You always have to have that in your back pocket, whether it's a degree or a side job or something that you do.
It may not take a lot of hours of your time, but you have to always know that if life takes a turn that you are not prepared for, you have a way to support yourself and your children.
And that's what's interesting too, is that when I was on Housewives and I was obviously divorced, and people they would say like, well, you're like, you're fine because because you have so much money from your ex husban And I'm like, first of all, don't don't number one rule, do not count other people's money. You do not know how much they have. You don't know where that money comes from. You don't know how they make that money. You don't know, so what you don't know is none
of your business. First of all, that is like number one rule. But what's interesting is that a lot of a lot of the housewives would say to me, well, I don't have money to leave. So then I'm like, oh my god, Like wait a minute, what like these women is outpoor of women that are saying like I don't have the money to leave. I don't want to be in this situation. And if I did leave, what does my eventuality look like? So I'm just I'm like,
I'm not your you know this mentor of this. I don't know how I became this person and this voice, but it was it was really, you know, unsettling, and I felt and it made me feel very uncomfortable, Like I'm like, how do I give these women tools and their tool belt to like understand. I mean, you have you have a lot of confidence. You know you you have gotten divorced, and you've been in these very very very difficult situations.
But I'm not divorced yet. I'm still divorced. I literally asked them for divorce nine months after my marriage and it's three and a half career.
I mean, my point is, you're a unicorn in terms of how you're navigating all these different worlds. Whether it's you know you're divorced, whether the religion, the relationships, all of these things. You are a complete unicorn and it's really really difficult for.
A lot of women.
And so I mean that's been great for me too to be on this podcast. I'm like, listen, you know, life sucks, and some people really suck, but some people don't like And I'm here too, like I'm learning from all of you guys about like how to be better and how to do navigate things differently. One thing I wanted to ask you is your daughter, So she also is she's divorced.
Yes, the oldest. By the way, she's gorgeous. Sometimes I look at my kids and I'm like these human beings came out of my body. They're like insanely extraordinary.
Really savvy and incredible style, and they're like, hey, I'm like, what is going on here?
Like I really like her dress? Is that weird? Yeah?
Oh, like I supposed to be watching the show. Okay, I digress. But so what were your thoughts when she was getting divorced?
You know, I was just so happy for her. I was so proud of her. Of course, I would never ever say anything, you know.
To me.
Your job as a parent is to give your children the tools to live the life they want, right, That's my only job was to provide all the tools and then let them do whatever they wanted with them. And the fact that she stood up for herself and said this is not what I want, and that she did it with such gentleness and such grace and such maturity, and you know, look at her life now. She's living her best life. And I'm just so proud of her, so incredibly proud of her.
I mean that shows and she is so well adjusted. It's unbelievable, unbelievable. I was like, wait a minute, I was a train wreck, and she's like amazing.
So calm, she meditated, She centered herself, she found a way forward, she worked through it. She never like tried to push all the problems behind. She really really put in the work. And now she's she's glowing. Like you see her. You can't miss the radiance. You know, it's amazing, amazing.
I mean it's like mother like daughter.
You guys are like you are, You're just I mean, you definitely raise your girls. Well, thank you all your children. So eat, pray love. Oh do you have any prey love moment?
So you know, I have become a massive meditator, Like this morning, I meditated for two hours and forty minutes. I know, but I get up at five, so so it's yeah, it's seven forty. You know, I'm already done.
But meditate. Like, let's go walk back, walk through that. Do you what do you do? I do?
Doctor Joe despends some meditations because it's very scientific. I'm a math girl, right, I like numbers. I like data. Right, Like, if you tell me, just believe you've lost me. Right, I already was in a religion where I was, oh, just believe this, and if that doesn't make sense, just believe that.
Right.
I don't want to hear that this is science, right, It's about your penial gland and your cerebrospinal fluid and secreting, you know, different things between serotonin and melatonin, derivatives of that, all the things that it's basically what I would I call it quantum living in the sense that it's teaching you self mastery. Wait, that's very good, my quantum living. That's literally what it is. It's existing in a space in your mind that kind of supersedes what you're living
through in the moment. Because if I would have a let everything that was going on outside to impact me completely, I wouldn't have survived. I wouldn't have survived. Three and a half years ago, I would walk out my door and people would look at me and say thief. Right, because you may not remember this. It's a long time ago now for everyone but me, because of course it happened to me. When I first filed for divorce, Sylvia accused me of theft, met mismanaging company money. I think
pretty much con artists a doctriss. I think I got accused of everything women have ever been accused of, other than witchcraft. I think that is literally the only accusation he did not throw on my head. And it wasn't until like nine months later when the first whistleblower came forward and said, here's thirty thousand documents. She didn't take a penny. He's the one that's been stealing from the company.
And then all of a sudden everything changed, and then we got bank statements, and then all the proof came out, and then discovery, and then all of a sudden, he's on the run from the law. But I had to live through the those first months, there was over two hundred articles calling me a thief and a liar. I would walk into a room where people literally thought I stole from my own company, which was insane. Insane Why
because four guys said so without any proof. It made no difference everything I had built and everything I'd worked for. All it took was a couple of guys line for it all to be taken away from me.
It's so fascinating because, like you know, people think that because it's someone says.
It must, but it's fact.
No, no, no, no, just because I mean on housewhid people are like, you're crazy. I'm like, okay, if I'm so crazy, then I wouldn't be able to raise two children on my own. I have my MBA, I licensed in four states. I've done x amount of X, Like, you can't be crazy and do the things the volume of work that I've done. But just because one person says that, everyone's like, oh, must be true, I'm like, no, no, no, you don't have
to be You don't have to like follow everyone. You can like beat your own drummer and do your own things and your own way.
But the lesson to me was awful. The lesson to me was one woman with thousands of documents of proof against three men with no proof, and I didn't stand a chance. Literally, that's what happened. And if I hadn't kept fighting until it came time to discovery, until it came time for the documents, they probably would have gotten away with it. And the only way to survive that was to find a way to be whole on my inside while while the world around me was going crazy.
And that's what quantum living to me is, It's that you're the external. What's going on in the external can't mess with your insides because your insides are so strong, your heart is so strong, your faith is so strong that nothing can mess with you, and that's how I survived it. And that's doctor Joe Despenza. I mean, I actually learned about it when I was in the front
in January twenty twenty three. I'm in the front lines of Bachhmut in Ukraine, sleeping in an officer's bays because I had brought I'd driven an ambulance through Ukraine during the war and Bachmut was where like all the fighting was in January twenty twenty three, and I'm literally there getting missiles blown at my head and like hiding under mud when there's literally guns like bullets flying. And one of the people I was with was so calm, and I was like, dude, what the f how are you
so calm? And he told me Doctor Joe despends it and tells me about this book. So I start reading and I start meditating there in Ukraine in the front lines, January twenty twenty three. And here it is two and a half later, two and a half years later, and I've already won my fifty percent of the company, plus control over his fifty percent of the company, plus you know, a decent sum. And now we're getting close to the end of the divorce where hopefully a lot more will be coming.
So now you can like be more mindful and more strategic and be more data driven as opposed to like as a so emotional.
Well, it's more that my emotions aren't impacted by what happens on the outside. You know, when terrible things happen, it doesn't mean I have to feel terrible, right. The one thing we can.
Control is truly, yeah, I feel you do not.
That's quantum living. I agree that to me is what has not me a lot. Just because the world tells you and difficult things are happening in your life, inside here you can still feel joy. And then I learned something really silly, which is going to sound silly, but it's I promise you that if you actually incorporate this into your life, like everything changes. It feels good to feel good.
I say that, It just feels good to feel good. That's what I say, even.
If you have no reason to feel good, even if you have all the reasons to feel terrible.
It just feels good to feel That's what I say. I talk about that, and I also talk about, you know, kinetic energy. I was like, you can have frenetic which is up and down, you can be you can be like having these like pigs and valleys all day long and you can like love your life, or you could just have a great, great day with like all this good news happening and fielding the fire and like take you like Okay, I can handle this, I can handle that.
Or you can be like woo woo.
It doesn't feel good to feel good even when there's nothing outside to make you feel good, even if there's so much difficulty in your life, How is it going to make it better to feel miserable? It just doesn't. It doesn't.
Okay, let's shift gears for one second. Because you spend your days with the hottest woman on the planet, with elite world groups, so you are around the most beautiful women in the world. Have you ever had a moment where you're just where one of your girls came in and was like, Julia, I'm having a really difficult time. I need your advice with personal issues like this as well. And if that has happened, what was your advice?
Well, I have you know. I don't deal on the day to day with models, right because I have agents who do so. But the times where I do speak to people and I do get feedback. I tell this to people all the time. It doesn't matter if you're beautiful or not. The world will try and push you down. The world will try and make you feel insecure. And think about what a model has to go through every day. Constant rejection, constant regions. Oh my god, think about that, constant rejections again.
You I started having I started at fifteen.
So I'm sure you know. Oh my god, you're too tall, you're too scary, you're too fat, You're to this, You're aware is not your nose. I mean, think about the amount of rejection women have to face. So it isn't about being the most beautiful woman on the planet. Unfortunately, life is cruel to women, whether they're beautiful or not. And that's why we have to have this deep inner core because if we're going to look for our self worth outside of ourselves, we're going to spend our whole
life looking and we're never gonna find it. We have to find it on the inside. I had to you know, how you can kill words that if someone says a word, it doesn't show up on your Instagram.
Yeh.
I had to kill the words boobs, breasts, decolte, because I would get at least twenty comments a day. We find your breasts objectionable, you're so old? Why are you wearing low cut tops? And I was like, oh my goodness.
You know what, why not I would say why? You know what?
I just don't care. I don't care. I don't have to explain myself.
I mean you're smoking hot though, Like this makes me.
Feel good and that's all that matters.
And if that's their problem, sorry.
It's fine, but I just I don't need to hear it, right, I don't. I just don't care.
Right, It's a brave new world where like now, like it's not just like you're making these decisions at home where you're you know, in your you know, over the you know, over a you know, a cup of coffe and you're saying we're not not we're going to you know, not be together. Now it's like everyone has their two cents and you know, you've just been through so so so I don't even know, Like I literally don't even
know like how to like deal with this conversation. I just am like very in awe of how you really managed everything because and just like.
You're cool, you're just like you are.
You're there's easy going and you're cool, and I mean even the way that you're with your children, and I just I really, I mean that you got me at I choose my I chose my children first. That was like, so, what happens if you meet this like really hot new guy who's going to enter the villa and he's going to see a beautiful girl, Julia Hart. What are you going to do if he's like, Okay, I love your kids, but they're older, like let's just be together.
I mean, how are you going to handle that? We now have It's gonna It's gonna happen, you know, author in my family.
And that is if any of us, myself included, meet someone that we think is boyfriend material, not like what I'm doing now, which is just like funning fun, but like full on boyfriend material, they have to come to family dinner and then the whole family votes, and if the family votes, know that person is out out. And there was only one guy in the last you know, since I filed for divorce the last three years that I thought like maybe maybe I brought him to dinner.
My kids were like absolutely out of the question, and I broke up with him that night. I love that we are a package deal.
Is there like a word? There is no more like a word that's like no, are you guys? Just like saying no, just.
Like ack factor if factor. If one of my kids gets the ick, that person is out. We are a package deal. Either you love all of us or you don't get to love.
Any of us.
That's the rule. And I also tell my kids if I ever think I am ever going to get married again, or if I even say the word I told them, throw me off the nearest cliff faster death. It means I've clearly lost my mind never getting married.
So marriage is off the table for me.
Yes, I understand that my kids want to get married, and I think marriage is beautiful. I think if you're going to have children, I think it's really nice for kids to know that mommy and daddy, or mommy and mommy, or daddy and daddy, or however your family is structured that they're both legally required to be there. I think that's beautiful. At my age, my children are grown. Why do I want to put a legal contract on love. I want someone to wake up every morning, look at me and choose me have.
You been to be speaking to my youngest daughter, because she basically said that on my last podcast. She was like, Mommy, you do not have to get married again. I said, it's not that I have see on the opposite, I want to get I want to get married for the
first time. I spoke with the therapist when I started this podcast, and she said, you're going to have your first wedding, and that what she meant by that is that you're going to have a wedding, a family, a marriage, You're going to go on a honeymoon, You're going to have a real love life partner. And that's what I'm looking for.
That's great, I want to love life partner. I just don't want to put a contract contract. Why do you need That's my point, Like, why do you need a contract? Because you can have a you can have a ceremony. You can have a ceremony celebrating yourselves and your love the second you put a legal contract on it. The second you're and think about it, it's the only contract that has no expiration date. Your license has an expiration date,
Every business contract has an expiration date. And when you add to that the fact that when this whole idea of marriage was created. People's life expectancy was into their mid thirties. The average person died within a thirty year pero. They got married at fourteen, they were dead by thirty six, so they only had to live with each other for twenty years. Now, you get married at I don't know, twenty five, twenty eight, thirty, and you're around until you're
ninety five one hundred. That means you're living with the same for seventy years.
Okay, this DoD is making to my stomach. I'm like, I don't know if I go.
So I'm saying do I want real love? Of course I do. Do I want someone to be my life partner? Yes, I'm good at loving. Okay, I'm a gardener. I have seven younger siblings. I've been taking care of people since I'm old enough to speak.
Well, what about someone taking care of you?
And I want someone to garden me back? No question about it. However, what does he look like? Honestly, I do not have a type. I don't care tall, short, I don't care hair, no hair. I do care about fitness because I'm very fit and someone needs to keep up.
Does he have to be the acrobat or like.
No, I mean, he does have to be really adept in that area. Let's be honest. You know there's women who like it, a woman who like it more. I am a woman who's very I am a very physical person. So I definitely need someone who, you know, knows their way around bed. And I don't meant how to make it and.
I don't how to make it in the morning.
To you, this is not but you know, to me, the things that I'm really looking for, and they're going to sound so like goofy, but these are things that based on my experience, I now understand that I can't take them for granted. They're not always there. And that is number one. Top top top is kindness. That's the first someone who is kind I am so tired of cruelty. I am so tired of it. I want kindness, But is it.
Really cruelty or do they just like think was right? He was.
He was saying that a lot of guys they get there, they are getting like people. There's a lot of backlash because these eyes are like learning like how to gaslight and I'm like when they try to gaslight me, I'm just like, I'm like you are trying to feel gorgeous. And by the way, like most of the time I'm wearing ear pods and so I'm not really listening to.
Any that's abuse, you know. I So that is cruelty and to me, that's number one kindness. After that comes loyalty. Loyalty, it's a big one for me. And then unfortunately, because it would be so much easier to find kindness and lived if I didn't need the third one, which is intellect. I do need someone who can keep up because my mind is its own being, and you know, I need someone who can keep up.
So with all four, I'm going to go. I'm going to go with the kindness. Loyalty is hands down, because every single man I've every dad has been a cheater except for one. Cheaters just like love me and I like attract cheaters. I need bugs stray for like no cheating. So I like the kindness, I like the loyalty, and I like the athleticism, and the intellect is mandatory.
I cannot.
I mean, I want to learn from my partner. I want to be sitting there and be like, what are your thoughts? I mean, I work with the most amazing women all day long, who are so smart? I don't want to go home and work and be with someone who isn't challenging me.
Well, honestly, I'm at the point where.
I don't want your thoughts on quantum living.
But I mean, so they have to challenge me. And they don't have to be honestly smarter than me or even as smart as me. They've got at least keep up right exactly, they got to keep.
Up Before we leave, I want you to tell our audience about body by Julia.
This is your shape where brain.
I'm wearing my bro right now and I was looking at it and it's amazing, and your daughter looks gorgeous on Instagram. And because women you want to get themselves and feel get themselves back.
Together and feel good.
What are your thoughts about the shapewear and why did you create shapewear?
So okay, I'm so excited that you brought this up. And also it's literally in thirty days from now, so like mid August, we are coming out with a hybrid You ready for this. It's clothing that has the bra built inside and the shapewear inside. So and I'm going to send you one. It hasn't come out yet. It's it'll be online and hopefully in store shortly. But basically, it's clothes that are not just sold by your dress size,
but by your cup size. So you can buy a tank top that's an extra small double D or tank tops that it's an extra small A. You can buy a body suit that's an extra large F cup or an extra large B cup. So the bra is built inside. And because it's built inside, we use the structure of the clothing so there's no strap. Because we all know that every woman on our earth, I've never met any
woman who disagrees with me. The first thing you do when you get home is you unhook that strap in the back because it's so freaking uncomfortable.
Well you don't I have a scar from.
Yeah, serious, everyone does. I don't know a single woman that that's not the first thing she does. Well, this bra has no straps. We use the structure of the clothing to keep the bra in place. And I'm gonna be honest, I'm fifty four years old, I'm a double D. Oh no not anymore, I'm a D cup now. And uh, they they wander, they don't stay put. I'm fifty four and to be able to wear a shirt where I don't have to wear a bra because the bra is built inside and it holds me in place and I'm
never concerned about anything moving. It feels amazing. And the shapewear's in there too, so it's very comfortably shaping. It just holds things in place. But it makes you not have to wear layers. And then for.
Uh, for.
It's a bodysuit tops, it's t shirts. It's closed. It's full on closed, and I love bodysuits and it but the bras inside and the shapers.
Because you have to get and then I wear sometimes I have to wear this banks.
But imagine if you have it all went together. And then in November we are going to launch Shape or swimwear. It looks like regular swimwear. You'd never know the difference. But because of our technology where we can make things colored and patterned, it's got the bral so it's going to pop you up, and because it's a stretching material, you've got everything. It's literally one of my models said to me, Julia, you should really tell people all the time that it's a tummy tuck, a boob job and what.
Was the other thing?
A tummy tuck, a boob job, and light boat in one outfit's amazing.
I love that.
Now that is serious because you know what women after their forties, they you can't you can't help it. I mean it just your body is starting to shift gears. I mean it's just your your your boobs start to sag, and your stomach starts to make friends with leaves and go places, and it's like, get over here, what is going on? I'm like, why is my stomach not flat? Like it used to be flat? And now I'm like that.
You never think, like Halle Berry from you know, James Bond movie, like little shorts tanky like shorts boys shorts, so pops up your butt, holds your thighs in place so you don't have those cottage cheesy legs. And then you have a tanky any super sexy. No one would ever know except it's shape where and it's also a brawl.
I love that.
I'm really excited about it.
And also for even like for for you know, like red carpets and everything, people are like what do you wear underneath?
Like You're like, no, that is so not fair.
First of all, like I'm a human I have I'm flawed. I'm not perfect everything. I'm not the same weight and shape every single I like people's weight fluctuates. Yeah, like some days you might be a little thinner, some days you might be a little more bloated. Like your weight fluctuates as a woman. I don't think it's unfair.
I can't believe that.
Sometimes I'm like I need a little love over there.
So I'm literally like, I'm sitting here and I'm like, holy because I was about to say something and you just literally told me the reason why I'm doing this. The next part next year is we are making gowns ready red carpet wear with your bra and your shapewear built in for that exact reason, because exactly as you said, we're women, we're human, So why should we have to wear nine hundred layers and then get embarrassed on the red carpet and be like, what are you wearing under? That's ridiculous.
Yeah.
So I'm going to be designing and we're going to launch it next year full on Julia Hart design. Because you know, I've made Kemonel Jenner's dress for the net Gal, I've made some pretty fabulous red carpet wear when I was at La Perla. I'm going to be designing red carpet wear wedding gowns that whole volume with your braw and the shape we're built inside. So when someone asks you when are you wearing under? It's all snarky and mean. You can say nothing but my fabulous body, bitch.
I love that. I love that. Julia, thank you so much. I'll be coming to dinner with my man friends and I'll be like, oh, Julia and her family and my kids, tell me.
Is this the a your name? Well?
Seriously, they you know, they love me, so they're gonna want the best for me.
You know, I love it. Congratulations, my unicorn, Thank you. Nice to see you. Nice to see you too.
Are you navigating your own life after divorce and needing to figure out what your next chapter looks like? Need some guidance? Call us or email us all the infos in the show notes, follow us on socials, and make sure to rate and review the podcast. I Do Part two an iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is the main objective.