Miss Manor

to be called five nine four. So when news broke of the Manner selling, a lot of people sent me the article and they're like, have you seen this? And I did hear about it, but I don't know. There was something that kept me from like clicking on this article, and it was clickbait for me too, because I wanted

to know the details. I'm not gonna lie that is, you know what people like think of my childhood home, even though I technically only lived there for like two years, but still it was something my mom created, and you know, it's part of my history. So obviously I have connections to it, but I yeah, I don't know. I couldn't open the article and I didn't even know why. I was just like in my head, like, you know, I

had taken my kids on vacation. I was like, I'm focusing on my kids, and like, you know, I'm not looking online as much, and I'm not on Instagram and I'm not you know, all that stuff. But still at all the time in the world to click on every single article out there about Liam Neeson and Pamela Anderson fasting it with those two, like, oh my gosh, the new IT couple. I am just like can't get enough

of them, just like everybody else. But that's like a happy story, right, That's like she's like the comeback queen and he finally, you know, found love again and they both have been through so much personally and professionally and now they deserve This is what everyone's saying. And so that's a magical, happy ending and that's something we all hope to translate into our own lives. So that's something we want to see. But I never clicked on the manner because I was just like, oh, it's sold again.

Keep in mind it sold once before when my mom owned it. She sold it to the Egglesteins, and I did see pictures when she redid it and made it. She kept the bones of it and didn't really change you know, the bearing wall, you know, nothing really changed to the architecture, but just totally renovate the look inside. And it was really modern. I remember seeing like black lacquered stuff and you know a lot of geometric stuff, and I was just like, oh my gosh, very different

than how my mom. And my mom spent years. She designed the home, you know, with a great team and did every was involved in every aspect of the architecture.

And because you know, they tore that home down to the ground, and you know, I still remember the day, like the day they started building it, and they had like a ribbon cutting ceremony and they started construction, so like the whole team and I feel like my whole family was wearing hard hats and I think I was, Yeah, I was twelve, and my brother and I were there and they had this whole like ribbon cutting with this huge, crazy big scissors, and my mom and dad cut it

and they broke ground. Basically, I have to find those pictures somewhere. But yeah, she puts so much dedication into that home. She not only created the entire house itself, but she then flew to Europe and did extensive you know home decort design and every piece in that home and a lot of like antique old French, you know architecture. And I'm like, isn't it funny? I can talk so much about this world, but I'm like, actually finding it hard to find my words when it's my own home,

my family's home. I don't know. I think there's like some locked memories there. That not bad, it's just obviously it was a gorgeous house and very beautiful pieces in each room, but it definitely didn't have the heart of when I grew up. You know, we were a family of four, and I guess going into a house that big, while we tried to keep it and my mom did a great job as warm as it could feel, family as it could feel. She did a great job executing that.

But in a home that is what noted is fifty six thousand square feet, I think it's just impractical to think that it could ever hold the charm and spacing of an intimate family home. And I often reflect on, you know, the rooms we primarily used as a family of four were the kitchen, my mom's office, which was like our family office. My dad has owned separate working office, but my family office, the kitchen, my parents' bedroom, the

breakfast room where we would have family dinners. Other than that, I guess the screening room, the projection room, but that got less and less as my dad got older and we were my brother and I got older and we were out with our friends, so we didn't do family screening nights as much. And yeah, like it's wild to think those are the rooms we used. In a room in a house, there was fifty six thousand square feet estimated to have. Sorry, I sorry, I have to look

it up. I should know this in my brain from reading it for so long and being asked about it. It says it had fourteen bedrooms. That can't be true. I feel like there was way more anyway. Yeah, fourteen bedrooms, twenty seven baths, fifty six five hundred square feet of space. Yeah, it's just wild anyway, I always said, like after it was put on the market years ago, I was like, oh my gosh, I wonder if I emailed the realtor

and be like, hi, it's story. Spellings in my family home way back when, so anyway I could just come see it and bring my kids. When my mom was moving out, I believe, before it's sold, I had Liam and Stella and they were very little. I think they were like three and two maybe two and one baby, so they have no memory of it. But I remember Dean and I and Liam and Stella went to visit Exit before my mom, I mean she pretty much moved out, but before she put it on the market, I said,

I really want my babies to be here. I think the rooms were all empty. I remember like holding baby Stella and taking her into rooms and they were like empty rooms, so taking a picture so I could like show them later, like this was Mom's room, This is you know, Grandpa Aaron and Grandma Candy's room. Like I don't know, I don't know what I was thinking, but yeah,

so that's like my last memory. And then my really like holding memory was my dad passing and that's where we had like his funeral gathering afterwards, was back at the Manner And so yeah, those two memories are kind of not great memory because it's like a finality, and when I draw on childhood memories, there's absolutely no connotation to that house. It's not in my heart and soul, it's not the house I grew up in. So when I dream about my childhood and we all go back

in time, I never have dreams about that house. Like I'll be my adult self now, I'll even be with my kids now at their present age, but I'm back in the house I grew up in, which, for anyone that doesn't know, was on the same street so on Mapleton, but it was one to eleven North Mapleton, and it

was still a very big house. But it was, you know, maybe ten thousand square feet, which is still enormous, you know, something in a lifetime, I don't think I'd ever be in a house that big, but like, it definitely was a very warm family home and I have really beautiful memories growing up there with my family. Anyway, now that I have clicked on this, so yes, so it just sold again at one hundred and ten million dollars to the head of Google, Eric Schmidt. Yeah, so the Google CEO,

Eric Schmidt and his wife Wendy. So I'm reading this for the first time, you guys, while I do this with you, because I haven't wanted to before. And yeah, so I'm scrolling to see what it says, and so it's saying, Oh my gosh, it seems like they're not even going to live there. It says reportedly they are planning to use the manner, which they are now relabeling is five ninety four, to host meetings and nonprofit events.

They already own other properties in LA and nearby Montecito, plus London, Washington, DC, Miami Beach, New York City, San Francisco, and on Nantucket Island. Wow, that's a lot of properties. Okay, So I was wondering. It's so funny, I guess something that big. It doesn't seem like a family home. But my instinct when I heard they bought it, I was like, Oh, okay, do they have a big family Like I don't know, but I mean, I like, they're going to use it

for nonprofit events, but meetings, I don't know. Kind of bums me out, just because in some form it's my dad mom's legacy. Like, my dad's not here and it was the last place I lived with him, So it's hard to think that it's going to be used for just like a meeting hall. I wonder if they'll change up anything inside. What does Eric Schmidt intend to do with the manner that he just bought. It's so hard to talk about this. I didn't even think it would

be this hard to talk about. And it feels weird inside talking about it, like some like repressed block, Like I feel this is so strange. I'm talking about this and it's feeling like an elephant sitting on my chest, like maybe I have things I haven't talked about. You guys, it's really this topic is very challenging for me to talk about because if you know me, you know that I have strived my whole life and career to kind

of be the anti rich girl. It was something that I was bullied really bad when I was little about my dad having money and being famous, and it's something I took on to such a degree that I actually change it, manifested in a way that it changed my trajectory in my lifetime. Look at me, I'm so savvy talking about something serious and I still managed to get my name in there. I'm sorry I distracked with comedy.

It wore on me so heavily that I do feel on some level that I manifested my life staying small. Like everyone has these perceptions of who I am and what I am as defined by who my father is and his wealth. So I'm going to make a note to be the anti that my whole life and see if people like me better then And let me just tell you, like lean into what you're given and what you are, because it doesn't help to me the other way. Like anyone that's met me will say, oh, she's so nice,

she's so kind, she's great. But in some way, I I'm a very intelligent woman, and I feel like I have not on purpose, but like almost like subconsciously like defeated myself or like tanked myself at times throughout my career. I think people said, you know, people would say things all the time like she's not talented, she's not And now doing a nine oh two and a rewatch that Jenny Garth and I do called nine O two one, OMG, check it out if you haven't. We are on season

seven doing a rewatch. Now I watch it all back and I'm like, gosh, I moved forward in a career thinking I couldn't act, thinking I wasn't good enough, thinking that I would never have succeeded in this industry if it wasn't for my dad. I heard it so often that I actually believed it. And now I watch it back and I'm like, subjectively, I'm watching as a fan, and I'm like, Donna is really good. Taking myself out

of it for a second, you guys, Tory spelling. Look, it's even hard for me to say is a very good actress. And it's like, wow, now at fifty two, my brain's like, what we have to rewire and learn this. We believed all the other stuff for so long. So anyway, going back, I think I don't even know what I was talking about. You know, I get so sidetracked. But going back, it was so ingrained in me to be

the opposite. I mean, growing up, I used to go into our laundry room and I would bring my blanket and my stuffed animals, and I would get like food and drink and books and like my diary, and I would go into a cupboard in the laundry room and I'd be like, I was always very respectful, So I would never tell my parents like I hate that we have this like big house, and I hate that we have this big these big lives, and it's really hard

for me. So I think keeping that repressed as a little girl at like five and six and seven and eight, and just kept going. But yeah, granted, our lifelaundry room is like was bigger than like the size of my bedroom now, but it wasn't crazy thing. But like the cupboard, it was large enough for me, as like a six

year old child to fully stand up in. But I would go in there and like decorate and put stickers on one of the cupboards in the laundry room and take the rooms down and everything and be like, this is my home. This is all I want, Like I don't want this big house. And I was like, this is where I feel coziest. And keep in mind, I feel like now we're so forward thinkers. We're such forward thinkers, especially with our children about you know, therapy and you know,

mental health awareness and conversations about emotions. Keep in mind, I grew up in the seventies and it was no fault to my parents, but that just wasn't really talked about. So as a child, you know, having these thoughts, it wasn't like my parents weren't talking me through stuff. But I never thought to communicate that to them. I never thought, you know, and I'm sure they didn't think to communicate

it with me a child. So yeah, you can imagine if I lived in a ten thousand square foot house and was so shamed because of that that I wanted to live in a cupboard in the laundry room. Imagine what it was like when the world found out we were building a house and moving into a fifty six thousand square foot house. I think I just literally went numb inside, and I don't know, just like shut off

that part of that connection with that house. And still when my kids see pictures of it online, they're like, is that the White House is that? They're like, what is that? And I'm like, that's my family home. And I still I look at it and I feel like I have no real real connection to it. But I'm sure it just lies beneath the emotions are there, and it's just so strange to see it turning over to new hands. Anyway, I always wish I could get one more walk through it, but maybe the past is better

left in the past. So I wonder what they'll do to it. I wonder how they'll redecorate it. I wonder if they're well, they're having a nonprofit event I could get an invitation one day. Remember when it was it was all in the news that j Lo and Ben when they were together, they were going to possibly buy it. Do you remember this, Yeah, and they had looked at it. That would have been fun, But like, what did they need the house that size for? What does anyone need

house that size for kids? I mean except between my brother and I we have seven kids as grown adults will be grandparents to multiple generations grandkids and great grandkids hopefully, and we could have used that. It could have been like I mean, honestly, I would say it should be like a bet. I always wanted it to be like a bed and breakfast that my brother and I like had together and then our kids could like stay there.

I don't know, it would have been nice. I want to say it would have been nice to keep it in the family, but again, it's not something that I feel represents our family. Like my childhood home. I would love like if my brother and I still had that and keep it in the family, and because that's where

all the memories are. It's so rare in life. I'm always curious about people that say, you know, the stories that people are like, Okay, later in life, like their family, they kept the family home in the family and then when people passed away, it got handed down and they kind of moved their own family in there and make new memory. I'm always curious about people who are like, oh, I still live in my family home, like my mom

dad passed away and then we kept it. I'm always curious, like what happens, like because you have such memories of being a kid there, They're like, then you have to shift gears to being an adult there. I don't know. The pool house alone in that property is bigger than my own house, so that I could have easily my my five kids and I could have lived in the house alone, been very, very happy. We could have been squatters. It was on the market for a long time. I've

seen horror films. What are they called froggers. Have you heard of this? No? Oh, that's right, Damn. We had so much in common till that froggers. I believe maybe this is not a real thing, Like if you have an attic space or something like people live there, they break in and live there and while you're living in the house. Nope, never am I making this up? No, but I'm saying nope, like, I don't want any part of that. What are froggers that live in your house? Frogging?

It's p hrgg i g when someone secretly lives in your attic without your knowledge. Yeah. This term refers to the act of someone living in a house without the homeowner's consent or knowledge, often in hidden spaces like addicts, crawl spaces, or even basements. The term is thought to originate from the idea of a person leaping from space

to space like a frog, potentially to avoid detection. So if you didn't know about it, I'd scare the shit out of everybody out there, because if you have any type of attict space or something, it could be a frogger living in it. Sorry anyway, my point being, oh my gosh, if someone lived in the attic of the manor the attic was my mom had like a beauty salon up there, but not really a beauty salon. My dad would always go to the barber, but as he got older or have the barber come to him and

just cut his hair in his bathroom. But she put up a salon up there with like a hair like washing bowl, everything like a stand like to like you would go to a beauty salon and you're at like a station. She put like two stations in there. One and half was like the barbershop. One was the beauty salon for her, and that was up in what you would call an attic. But literally the attic didn't look like the addict, you know, it was like pallacious, I

want to say, like, oh my gosh. The square footage had to have been I mean, it's the length of the house, but it was like the third floor and our basement was in a basement. The base is where we had the bowling alley and the arcade and the doll museum and the gym and the bar and recreation room. So we technically didn't have like like in the the mechanics of the house, like you know what am I talking about, Like the air conditioning unit and the air filters.

Like everything was like in the behind the scenes of the manor. So you would like push a wall in one room, which was the bowling alley, and you would go into like hallways behind the scenes where all the power stuff was and like everything that made the manner light up and have power, and then you would come down the other side in the Doll Museum, like a hidden passageway got him. I'm like creeping myself out now

telling these stories. But it wasn't creepy. It was like fun and friends were really impressed, were really excited, and I was always like, oh god, no. But anyway, froggers, if you lived in an attic at the Manor, you have literally it had to have been at least ten thousand square feet or more, so you could have literally a huge home. You could have like two families lived there. Okay, that's my view on the Manor five ninety four. And my mom always had like stationery that would say like

all the heads of the sorry, all the notepads. The header would say the Manor and property of the Manor like pens and everything, all that stuff that like hotels would have, but kind of we had that. That's so wild. Oh my gosh, I wish I had some of those saved. I love that. Yeah, it was pretty cool. I mean think about it. It was the size bigger than hotels anywhere. Like you had to have some like wink wink nod nod, like kind of fun gesture about like I have the

biggest at the time single family residence anywhere. It's being compared to the taj Mahal on Google, Like, oh my god, I feel like I read that it was bigger than the taj Ma Hall. But I could be I read that too, and my brain always trying to like apologize for growing up with wealth. I read that too, and instead of saying it was even bigger than the taj Mahll, I couldn't even say that. So I said the size of the taj Mahll. Fine, they say it was bigger. Oh what wild what a wild ride life is?

is a site to behold. The manner was built in the style of a French chateau, with many details from that period, including.

is the same. My mom had that put in and it did like you could push a button and it would come down so that they could clean all the crystals. You push a button, it would raise back up because thirty feet what do you say, thirty feet dolls ceilings and thirty foot dolls. Wow. But that staircase, I remember asking her once because it was this double entryway Foye staircase, and it was so grand and it completely connected. So you would go one side of the staircase and it

was like the little, you know, hallway. You would stand looking over very like Romeo and Juliet, and then you would go down the other side, so it was all one continuous staircase. And I did ask her once why such a big staircase, and she said, so when you get married one day, you can walk down that staircase. And I was like, oh, that's so romantic. But I did actually get married there first to my first husband,

but we didn't walk down that staircase. We actually started outside and my dad was old and sick by that point, so he couldn't walk me that far. I was already walking across the whole driveway. It was a long walk, so maybe that's why we didn't come down the staircase. And also that staircase like growing up spelling like my dad his vision like Dinahs, that staircase reminded me of Dynasty, which came before the Manner, So I'm like, oh my gosh, I wonder if that was always the intention, like to

walk down that staircase. Very very fancy. I feel like it's been so prevalent in the news about the Manner selling, and everyone has asked me how I feel about it that I just I don't know, like I said, shut down on it, and I thought, well, it's probably interesting for people to hear my thoughts on how I feel about it selling. So I decided to do this episode

on it. Didn't read any of the information except that, you know, I knew the head of Google bought it until I started this podcast today, and I just wanted

to be raw and kind of whatever came up. You know, me never at a loss for gab, Like I can talk and talk and talk, and like I've said, this episode might seem a little scattered, but it's because I always have something to talk about, and I could talk about anything, and I never shy away from any topic, as you guys know, and this one, as as it's unfolded right now in the last hour, been very hard

for me to talk about. And like I said, it's feeling like a weight on my chest and it's feeling bringing up some sort of memories and emotions that I am trying to access while keeping the ball rolling as a host of this podcast. And it's conflicting because I don't know what all these emotions are that are coming up. I guess I should ask my therapist what this means. Oh, I should bring around the show. We should talk about

the manner. But yeah, so I just wanted to say, you're kind of getting me at my ross right now. And this is the intimate Like I don't even have any comedic things to say about it right now, but it's definitely bringing up a lot of emotions. I think there's a twofold thing coming to hand right now, to head to hand to heart, to all of the above. I did a TV series which was a single camera sitcom which was loosely based on my life called So Notorious.

With it was an amazing show. It was It's okay for me to say that, hey is the first time in my life. I got critical acclaim from like people out there, They're like, oh my gosh, And I knew that was a kiss of death when everyone wrote, like in the press, the was like critically acclaimed that I was actually good for ones, Like I should have known

it wasn't going to work. But that said, it was me and Lannie Anderson and Zach Quinto and James Carbonello, and it was and a wonderful cast, and it was a really fun show because it was, while loosely based on my life, it basically was a show that I co created and the idea came from everyone had a preconceived notion of me, of my life. And this took place when I was in my late twenties. So at that time I was off nine o two and zero. But you know, the press always had something to write

about me. The tabloid said something I'd write about me, and this was my time to you know, I remember my pitch was I took all the bad tabloid articles about me, the crazy stuff written even and made a little scrap book and I took that into pitch meetings a T shirt with all the rumors about me and everything, and yeah, and I went in and said, I laughed about it, and I said, here's everything. It was very you know, relied on self deprecating humor and just kind

of if you can't beat them, join them. And the show originally was created for NBC and the pilot didn't get picked up there. We then took it to vh one, where it went one season. But this was at a time when they hadn't done scripted TV. It was all unscripted reality and competition shows and the big big show there was like Flavor of Love and you know, Finding

Love and all that. So it didn't quite work for that audience, but I still stand by it was a really fun show and really well received and a lot of it took place. The reason I'm bringing this up is we had a fictitious manner and a lot of it was like the jokes of going We obviously couldn't use the real manner, and you know, all names it was loosely based on people that had been in my life, but we changed all the names and we added different

qualities of you know, new characters. The only one that was really real ish was me, you know, and I played Tory Spelling. But it was like a heightened version, a comedic version of everything, and you know, every joke in the book, and then some about me making fun of myself basically because everyone else does. And we had to rent another house that was oddly enough, in the

same area as my parents' house. Couldn't quite get one as big because it didn't exist, but we filmed there and we filmed it as the manner and all that and me getting lost in the house and my friends couldn't find me, all those jokes. But it's just odd

timing that memories of that are coming up. And my on camera mother, Lonnie Anderson, just passed away recently, so it and she was so amazing and lovely and one of those people that come into your life and we didn't work together for that long, only for a year, but she's someone who has stayed in my heart for the rest of my life and really taught me so much about a female in this business and on screen.

And you know, I was still the age at the time and she had been you know, the Angeenu for years and now it was a different time and place, you know, playing an older woman on TV. And she always taught me, you know, you don't need this now, but lighting's going to be very important to you later as an actress. Always have them light you from below.

I've never forgotten that. Yeah, And she just taught me so much about being kind and humble, and she was such a legend and a star and so and was very formative in my life when I started my relationship with Dean and when I became a mom for the first time, and just one of those amazing humans that

just sticks with you and your soul forever. But it's just the uncanny timing of she played my mom in a fictitious world based on my life and her passing away, and then like the keys of the kingdom changing hands, the manner itself getting sold, and it's just now I'm talking about my feelings of that, and it's just like, oh my god, I can't find the words, and it's just all like all coming into my being right now of emotions of how I feel about everything. So it's

just bizarre timing, that's all. But yeah, so I just want to say sorry, this episode might have seem a little scattered, but this is how I feel, and I feel like I want to do a deeper dive into how I really feel about what others call my childhood home because it would be interesting to figure out where the repressed memories are and feelings that I'm obviously having get to the bottom of that. So I guess, as I'm trying to say, is I don't have an end

to this ending. I know there's a lot of finality with this, but I guess I haven't found my finality with this in my heart. So yeah, but you know me, I always got to bring comedy into it. So I guess when they say you can't ever go home again, this is true. It just sold I really can't go home now.