Miss Brandi Glanville

Misspelling with Tori Spelling and iHeartRadio podcast.

I thought of a show for us on the way over you did, Yeah, I want to hear it. Yeah, broken, famous, famous, and broke.

I don't know if you're broken any more, but I'm broke, honestly broke as fuck. It sucks. I would rather and no one gets it.

It's so hard because if I go and work at CVS, then everyone's gonna.

You know, oh my god, Look, I don't know. I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore. And I just you're not gonna go work at CVS.

I love CBS, though I got extra bags make me so happy. But no, I was just thinking, it just sucks to have people know who you are, and like being famous is hard enough, but at least those most people have money, I know, I mean you had money, you know what it's like.

I don't know what. I don't know what your situation is like now. Yeah, yeah, this industry is just they're so it's high, it's low. I can't.

I haven't had filler or botox in two years because of the muzation. Yeah no, and I'm miserable and my neck is the thing that makes me the most miserable because you know those lines. I never had them before.

No, wait, what lines? You know the things at pool?

I have one nail on. It's a really fun day for me.

I might have no I have. It's fine, I have like nail glue.

But then I didn't bring my nails, and I've already gotten like almost gotten like three accidents on the right here because I was putting on a mask and then make up over my mask so that I would look not like I looked yesterday for Netflix. I'm just gonna hide my hands. That's how I kind of normally do it. James knows. I'm always glueing on nails because I have no nail bed. It's like a little kid's nail bed, and they grow like they arch up.

It's not like a.

Deformity, but it it is kind of my mom our. Nails just grow like a ski jump. So look like I have a really short nail bed.

One hair I don't want to grow. I got I got all that shit in my car. Do you want hair with at a lotto ticket attached to it? Like this is my life. We're kind of the same.

Yeah, it feels like it's scary. So I glued them on yesterday for the for the reality show. I mean, he's twenty one. I'm not the boss of him anymore. I just don't want this life for him because because you.

Know firsthand, but it could be different for him.

I don't think reality I mean right now reality TV is the last two years has like completely.

Ruined my life. Yes, I understand, and.

I just don't want like, you know, why kiss say stupid stuff and they don't realize. Even yesterday they the kids are there's a girl, really pretty girl.

She's a star. I mean, there's just no gutting around it. I'm like, like she is a star or she's gonna be a star.

She she's gonna be a star. Like regard, she's like the Christian cavalry.

I think, oh okay, but like.

With blue eyes and like younger. But yes, so it's like he went to see our canyon. So he has all these friends, but on my time, he's seen the struggle, like he we've moved thirteen times in fifteen years.

It seems that he had moved seventeen times.

Why do you have to one up me or two up me? I mean too, are you on meds Now Mayan, What are you on meds right now?

No? Why do you have any No? I do, but but.

We could talk about I was kidding the Ambien's kicking in now. I'm so, I feel like I told James I, I feel like we're gonna interview each other, because that's how it always works out when I when I go on someone else's podcast.

Oh yeah, I just like to I'm like, yeah.

So, I'm like, we're going to talk. He's like, I think she's just gonna ask you questions. I don't think it works that way. He does my podcast with me. I just yell at him.

So he's so handsome, he likes it. He's attractive, he's gay. They're all gay. All the cute ones are good ones. So what's going on with you? Where do I start? I don't know. Should we go back to our beginning? Yeah, let's do Okay, fine, okay. So I feel like the first time I met you, you were a bit we loved each other. Really the first time I Carlo, Yes, oh my god, I came up to the tape. What are you talking about?

You came up and said hi to Eddie and totally ignored me, And you had that weird husband at the time with the big eyes.

Oh my god, that's so mean. I don't I mean, I don't know.

No, he was nice, but you were like talking to Eddie like I didn't exist.

Oh my god, I'm so sorry because I'm not that he But you know, I knew him through high school on a date or some under your dated. I know him through high school. He dated my best friend. Where do you go to high school? Do you want Claire Prep? Okay, so all of my best friends went to Montclair. My brother went to Montclair. Oh doc, that was like a fun school. You guys went on a couple of dates. One date. But this is later on, right, So my

Gem, the Gem? No, maybe I didn't left her at oh wait, okay, yeah, yeah, so the Gem wasn't born yet. Okay, I think we wait, we are.

The damage you're a year older. But other than that, I thought you were younger than me. How old. I'm fifty one. I'll be fifty two in May, so I'm six months older than you. Yeah, but I thought you were like for some reason and this is like a good thing. And even like you're you don't have makeup on today you're sitting here. I thought you were way younger than me.

Just because I act like a child and I have a high voice. Ever, I think it's my high voice because everyone always thinks that I'm younger.

And I'm straight. I mean, I'm thinking, and then I'm just looking at your face from like since the moment I met you have I'll show you what I'm not looking at your face right now. I'll show you can rarely see me.

Like we are the same person, Like I can't see ship.

I think. Oh wait, wait, okay, wait, sorry, sorry, I'm just excited. Okay, So Eddie and I like reconnected because we had met through my friend in high school and all our friends went to school together whatever. At this like club on Melrose anyway, he was there and he somehow asked me out, and I was like, I shouldn't work, Okay, why why isn't Why am I the horror? Not?

No?

What I'm talking about him? Okay? And my I just remember saying yes because I was like, because I know you went out with you. Then he was interesting, we're bringing this together now.

Well I told my kids that and they said absolutely not true. And they don't believe things that I tell them. I know are should be true because our dad doesn't ever tell them the truth.

Male, we like full transparency, like this is it? Yeah? So I'm trying to put the pieces together. So what it was? So I was scared to tell me about friend because I was like, oh my god, she was in love with him in high school and he broke her heart. Am I supposed to be that dick friend? And then like girl code not go out with them. So I did end up telling her and I was like, are you okay? And she's like, oh, I don't care. Oh my god. We're in her twenties now, that was

I'm like, I Young and the Restless and then Sunset.

Each Oh was he not on Nino two? And oh maybe I know? Yeah, okay, okay. So I was so nervous, hadn't eaten all day, and like, okay, nervously in front of a guy at that age, like oh my god, yeah, it's like it gives me anxiety. So we have like a good table. We sat there, and the first thing he says to me is he's like, I'm not really hungry, are you do want to just get a drink? And I'm like, ouck, I didn't eat all damn starving, okay, but I didn't want to eat from of you. Anyway,

It's like I always say to my my friends, like go over and pick up the kids or drop them off before when they were younger, and like, don't get charmed because they all all my gay friends. Oh yeah, for sure, and the kids have them too. So I'm like, don't give me your dad's.

Face right now. I can. I like, I know, give me PTSD. You know what living in Calabasas says.

I'm listening because I have goun in my mouth and missing teeth.

It's really fun to be me right now.

But no, I didn't think that going back to like the scene of the crime, Calabasas was going to be difficult because we've been getting along for years. I mean it's not been an issue. As the kids get older, they make their own decisions, right, I mean, we I did fight when I I will pick my battles. I tell the kids that's on you. But if it's something I will go to war for and then I know I will win. Like there was two things, and of course I won, and they were like, oh shit, don't mess with mom.

But it's just the little stuff that teach me your ways. I'm just getting a check me a decade to fit to Oh wait, can I finish the story? Wait? Sorry, sorry, sorry, I get so easily distracted. I'll go from I'm trying to like, yeah, so anyway, there were four drinks. I'm totally wasted. He was charming, great, talked a lot about himself. I listened and kept drinking and then I was like, I have to go to the bathroom. And I walked and couldn't find the bathroom, and then I was like,

Well, our first state we had sex that it was really good, and I.

Was that was one of the cards. Yeah. So I came back to the table. We went home. He walked me up, he put me in my bed. I think he like literally kissed me on the list, which I was like, don't even kiss anywhere because I just right, yeah, total gentleman. He left. I did get that call like a week later, being like I think I have an audition for your dad, and I was wondering, word, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I met your brother.

He was really nice. I don't know if you guys get along, but I mean he was like Eddy and he got along really really well. Yeah yeah, And so I'm like, okay, so just story.

That's a bitch, Okay.

I'm like no, I'm like, stand where I the juxtaposition with like what I went through and what you went through at the same time.

We have to opposite side.

Yeah wait, okay.

So Eddie then did and being the person I am, I was like, oh, I guess he is along on a second date with me. But of course I was like, hey, dad, I was like my friend Eddie like was Jenny's boyfriend in high school. He went to Montclair where Randy when it was all that.

So any he's a good actor, like I mean, I will, I'll just know. I'm just.

He's always been kind to me.

He's kind and well, not to me always, but I understand that he is handsome, Like you can't get around it.

He's like one of the host guys I've ever. Yeah, he was like destined to do something on camera. He looks great, I.

Guess, but I just I'm not here for like mann Arexi. I like when he's bigger, you know, I like, I don't hope and they're super skinny. Oh really, oh I bigger anyway, I don't know.

I never saw him whatever. It was okay, So then came on one episode ended up doing your right senseit beach. I was like forgetting and he and my brother now it's all coming back right yeah, and it was all lovely. Then the next time I saw him was at the International TV and Film So I am so I apologize. I was telling my producer Chrissy earlier, I was like Brandy and I got along so well, like she was

I'd never wanted to be. But I mean I choose, I choose to do the right thing and be nice.

I could still see us talking sitting on that couch though I didn't sit down with you.

I was standing at the bar and no Eddie was there sitting next to me. You came and said hi to him. I turned to say hi to you, and you completely ignored it.

Oh I'm devastated. Yeah, okay, at least we're talking about it. Could no.

I like this. I like this. And then the next time I saw you was in the elevator going to that Bruce Jenner thing.

In that moment, you were so nice.

I'm like, oh my god, I have to be nice to her.

Oh see, And this is what's funny. I remembered when we met. I was like, oh, I really like his wife. Good. He has a nice one. She's full, she's kind. Great. You thought I was a bitch, And then in the elevator, in my mind, I was nice because I remembered our history, thinking we liked each other, and I thought, oh, she does not like them. So it was like, flip, it's not I didn't. It's not that I don't like you.

You I didn't have a good experience with you before that, but again, we all change. Yeah, yeah, I just didn't like obviously the situations I was in, we were in identical situations.

On the literal. So we've never talked about this. But and I'm friends with Mary Joe.

You know that.

I do know that, and I but I didn't know if you guys were still friends, like, I know, since Dean and I like, because she and I like came around and everything was good and then it was it just like flip flop.

You guys aren't good now though, I don't know. I just moved to Canada, so I would. I would move to Canada honestly, I want to be here, Yeah, because of what's happening here.

Oh because yeah, I.

Mean Canada everyone's just nice, are they?

Yeah, well they pretend to be nice.

I'll take it, pretend all day. But yeah, so we should probably get into that, right, Okay, So.

I mean you were first, so you were you were the og.

Yes, it's not a good thing to be first on.

Yeah.

So my husband cheated with a person on a movie set.

He met TV. Movie they did, right, okay, and then you met TV exact same way, but the parallels were like wild, I was.

The wife at home and and he cheated with his co star and Mary Joe was the wife at home. Yes, and you cheated with her husband, who cheated with you?

I mean correct.

I don't blame one a man, a man or the woman, but I blame both of them. I hate been like, oh, she stole your man, Like you can't still a man if he doesn't want to leave. Wait, thank you.

So there was a lot of that like yeah, yeah, homewrecker, like like you stole my husband. Noah, I don't even know she said that. Other people were like you stole her husband. I mean it was the narrative for a couple of years straight, a couple of yeah, everyone brings it up and it's yeah. I was like, god, I'll take accountability for everything, Like I could have said no at any point, like you're married, you have kids, like oh, and I didn't. It takes two people. I don't believe

I'm like, I hate him because we had two beautiful little kids and that was his choice.

I just got the hills same.

It's hard to talk about it because it does like bring I'm sorry, No, it's okay, because that's obviously a conversation.

We're going to have.

But you know, the man isn't forced into getting hard and having.

Sex with you. So I mean that's on him and it's in you. Yeah, yeah, it's that's on him. I just got that. Oh you're funny.

I like that.

It took me a second of process. Wow, I'm usually quicker than that one. But wait, So, originally did Mary Joe reach out to you? I believe so, I think so, right, Please I read it. I don't know. We've never none of us have talked about Mary Joe and I haven't talked about it.

She was doing it. I think she was like the original podcaster and she was having me on this a long time ago. And I've had my podcast for fourteen years.

Wait, I thought she was on your podcast.

She had interested, she had, she's had a podcast for a long time.

She had it was one different incarnations, Yes, right, it was this one in Canada.

I don't remember, Okay, but then I don't even remember how we ended up meeting up. But she then hooked me up with the skincare line to work for, and so over the years we've just always like looked out for each other, right, And so she's just been like, like, I have to move, but I don't know where I'm moving. She's trying to help me find a place. She's a good she's a good.

Friend, and I love her.

And it sucks what happened. He sucks what happened to me. But I don't think that it's your fault or it's leanceval. I think it's every everyone's fault. How I was handled after sucked because everything's in the public and it's hard enough to go through it privately.

Yeah, and then I mean you got a lot of hate as well. I mean, you know, people are mean, and it was it was not fun.

And now you're divorced, right, that's crazy and you have like twenty kids.

Yeah, goes around, comes around it, and you said that I don't but I'm just kidding. But I don't believe it happened to me.

I don't want that, but you have a lot that for my kids, Like, I don't want them to have to go through another ever, because I know, I mean, divorce fox kids up.

It really does. Yeah can And I don't know what your situation was like, but for us, like it got to the point where it was worse for the kids to see us together because we could no longer hide what was happening and the fights, and for so long I hit it from them the best I could. I lost my voice for doing it.

If you have to leave a bad relationship, you have to leave.

And I was like, the kids are saying I had. Some of my kids were like, mom, I just remember my daughter Hattie and especially like with girls, like, I'm like, oh, man, also, I don't even know how you do. She looked at me and she goes, I'm scared to talk to you about this if you're not ready. I go, what, baby? And she's like, have you ever considered what it would be like to be with someone else and not dad and get treated right? And I was like oh, and she was she loves her dad, it's not that, but

Really yeah, I didn't know that. Oh that sucks, but I mean we kind of had to come in.

Sorry. That was on my show, True Torri. It was like happening, and she and I had a conversation on the show, which actually ended up being a good conversation, and I was like, yeah.

I don't think she has any will towards you at all, Like she doesn't say anything negative ever, and I and I told her I was coming to do your podcast. She's like, oh god, that's good, but then you have to do mine. I'm like I've been saying I will do her, but I'm moving and so I don't know where I'm going. I'm just it's been a hectic time with health issues and all the other shit on my plate. Right now, I'm just like, yes, for sure. So, I mean,

Do you want to say that question for your podcast?

When I because I feel like we're just gonna I feel like we're just interviewing each other kind of in a way, but.

Not even interviewing, like like we get to talk like this is an opportunity. It's like I've actually always wanted to talk to you about this, and it's like, Okay, here's a good excuse. I may more fun nowt like having drinks and talking about it. But yeah, so I forgot the question. Okay, would I do it all again? Like just knowing the outcome? If you knew the outcome? Which part?

Okay, that's I guess the affair in the first place, and marrying him.

I gotta say, I think about that all the time. But if the journey had been different, I wouldn't have my five kids, and those kids are my everything. So no, I wouldn't change I wouldn't change the journey. I think we could have gone back and handled it better.

Well, so there's that, but yeah, but the outcome, Yeah, listen, I did not want to get a divorce. I found out he cheated. I went to therapy with him, and then I found out there was other people, and then I'm like, okay, you're gone. I can't if it was one time, one person. People make mistakes. I don't think being an actor is natural, like to make out with people. It's not a natural thing. Not to be attracted to everyone's like, oh, there's lights and cameras and we're exciting.

You have to hide like some sort of mystry.

If you're attracted at all, that's got to be fun. If you hate the person, not so fun, right, But I mean, I just don't think it's natural. And of course he's always the good looking guy who takes his shirt off and makes that with everyone on camera.

That couldn't have been easy for you. Oh it sucked for years to see that. How long were you guys married? Eight years?

Put together for thirteen?

Okay, I mean, oh I was. I would look up. I would this is like I.

Would go online and go to wire images. That's all we have at the time, and just trying to find out who this person was.

I still use it, but and just I'm like, okay, is she tall? Is she short? And you know, at the end of the day, it didn't matter.

They're all like I found out about many and they were all different shapes and sizes, and I had to come to the realization it wasn't me, it's him, because I mean I was doing I was being the best wife I could be. It broke my heart, and I think in a way, I still I'm still mad at him for taking my kids away half the time because I lost half their lives, right, and so I still hold a little resentment. And I mean, we get along fine, we spend holidays together, and it's I know.

I see I mean obviously I'm a viewer as well, so like I see you on Instagram and everything, and it gave me hope. I know when we split, like co parenting can work out. Why did you guys splat June twenty twenty three. I was so soon. I took my decade just hanging out. I was.

I was at war with them for ten years. I just it was horrible, but I never let the kids know it. I even went to therapy with them to stop having them triangulate the kids because they were getting caught in the middle. I'm like, this is our mess, don't fuck with up my babies, and they're like, you went and sat in therapy with Eddie and Leanne. I'm like, yeah,

Like cathartic, really like.

But then I kept changing the therapist because the therapists kept agreeing with me. We had like three different therapists.

Oh no, so they didn't find it fair. We're going to find someone else. Oh my god, Well, because you were right. But it's wild, like all I know are being really kind of with actors or people in the business. I don't know if a male actor can ever be not turned on. I know, no, I feel because it's also there's an ego that goes alongside it.

Are athletes, actors and musicians are all.

Like they can't be with an athlete musician. Yes, I haven't been with either. Should I add to my thelast single don't You're No?

Wait? Like I just said, yeah, those three are off the table. You need like a banker, like someone who let you be. I have this theory there can only be one star in the relationship.

Oh my god. My mom has said that before. See she was because she was my dad for your you know, and she was like, you got to know the Eddie was a star.

I was happy to be at home make the food, and he wanted me to stop modeling.

I did.

I raised the kids, and I feel that's why I felt like.

Wait, why do he want you to stop modeling? Couldn't you do both?

No?

Because when you need to travel.

Yeah, and so like when I would be gone, he would be like, what are you doing. I'm like, I'm not doing what you were doing.

But no, he just, you know, had she find out about others, so she asking to know. I don't care. Oh, I forgot about this. I watched this. Sorry.

After the thing came out, then sena thing came out and she was like on Access Hollywood doing a sit down about how Eddie cheated on her with Leanne and I have a baby in diapers running around and I'm sitting there on my couch.

That's how you found out, yes, from watching Access Hollywood.

And I was like is this I literally was like I'm being punked.

This cannot be raw. And that's when it was like I'm done.

And then we Eddie and I had a conversation that he still says he never had with me that.

He said, it's not you, it's me.

I've always cheated from day one, and then it was just us having that conversation.

We wouldn't forget women never free.

And when I brought it back up, He's like, I never said that.

Of course, I'm like, okay, nothing against him, right, but I'm just husband for me. Wait, I am sure this has been out there, But how did you find out about Lianne?

Or he told you it was No, it was on Perez Hilton and what I'm in, like the drives, like to drop off the kids at school we were leaving that day, or my best friend was marrying Bruce was and we're going to fly to Terce and Caicos or the wedding and the two of you.

Yes, and she only invited fecause okay, and so she only invited four.

Well yeah, it was like a private Oh okay, Demi and Ashton, me and Eddie and then Kristin and Josh are other friends.

So that was an anxiety, what's going to happen here? Okay?

Well, no, I I went because and Perez it had the cover of US Weekly. So I ran to the store and she's on the cover, says Leann's affair was a married man.

Oh it didn't say who, Well, yeah I did, No, it did did How did he find out?

He?

You know how, you know how like.

These taboys work, they reached out to you for a response. So he knew, and he chose not to give me any warning at all.

Oh wait, okay, Eddie knew. Eddie knew. But so like how helplessis would say, like this is coming out.

He didn't give me any heads up. So I'm hearing it from all the moms. And then I go home and then I see it like Perez, and then I go to the store. I get as quickly it's on the cover like this hole and there's like pictures and it's just.

I don't know, I knew, I said pictures like someone got pictures of them. Yes, the person released it.

Yeah, someone got a picture of them making out.

It's very suss.

I think she wanted it to come out so that she could have her man, because I don't think that he was trying to leave if he wasn't caught.

If that makes sense, it makes sense. Interesting.

Yeah, so I just said, listen, it's not about us, it's about my best friend just getting married and we're not talking about this. I don't know how I did it. I was way stronger back then, and we didn't and I had the time of my life at that wedding. Did not give two fucks. I got sucked up.

I deserve a lot of things. I didn't have sex with anyone. You have sex with him?

Yeah, because I mean you kept feeling like the last time.

I just I that and it was all that, like that last weekend jen Anison. It wait what it wasn't No, I can't. I forgot it wasn't.

But because when we got back, he wouldn't move out of the house, so he moved into the guest room, and so then we would get in huge horrible fights.

Wouldn't have because it was his house? Okay yeah?

Oh?

Would he his? Was your house together? What was this thing?

Like?

I paid for it, it's my house, I'm not moving But he did, okay all that to you? Oh okay? Yeah? Was he like you can move out?

No, he just went to the guest room and put lock on the door. Because I did really want to kill him a couple of times. I mean I was like, yeah, you better lock that door, motherfucker. But then we get in fights and then we'd have sex, and.

So I'm like, you have to leave, Oh my god, but that yeah, God, I've been there, and that makeup sex is really yeah, but.

It's not even makeup sex because you know, it's like it's like torture sex, like yeah, that's fun.

This is last time? Do I love you? You broke my heart? Why am I here? What's happening it? It almost feels like the first time sex again? No? Am I wrong here? I'm only associating it because when Dean cheated on me publicly, the only reason it came out is because the girl it happened with sold a story. It was coming out US Weekly. The week of Christmas. My publicist called and was like, heads up, we can't

They say that they're a sex addict. That that I'm like, okay, well that isn't that, you know, convenient. I'm not saying that Deane wasn't messed up. I don't.

I don't know him. I don't know him at all. I just remember that one time, like and then I threw myself into like, oh my gosh, the holidays. I'm here with the kids. Had you know, we just said dad's, dad's off healing and they're like, my son was seven at the time. He's like, oh, because of his anger issues. I was like yeah, and he's I can read at that point. That's why he was like, oh my gosh. So he's at a hospital and I said, is it uc that. I was like yeah, you know, I didn't

You're punishing yourself that I yeah, I mean, that's just it's part of when you're in love with someone. Yeah, And like to this day, I haven't been in love like I was with Eddie and I don't think I will again. And hopefully no, No, I mean I've I've loved people that haven't been Like maybe true love the second time is totally different.

You closed your heart up, So look what happened the first time. I mean I did.

I had I've had relationships like a couple of a couple of years when I was like, I just I don't let anyone get that close.

You know, it's who closed your heart up. It's hard to.

Also didn't trust people because of the TV situation, and like guys that want to be on camera that scares me. That would scare me, right, So I wouldn't want to be on housewives ever. If I was a dude, I'd be like, let the ladyes fight it out and.

They would want to when they when you were in that situation? Interesting, okay, and.

That was always a red flag. Yeah, and that episode do you like me? Or do you like the fact that am I like a prize that you're like, Oh, it's like a fun trick like trick pony. Oh yeah, I'm dating that one girl and like I'm on TV look and not really into me?

Or do you really like me? You know what I mean? So it was just weird.

I have trust issues, yes him, Yeah, as you should.

Are you dating anyone now?

No?

With my health issues, I haven't. I want to do years. No, it's like celibate for two years.

Not by choice, but yeah, because I just don't. I've I've lost my security in my looks, I'm so insecure. I isolate and god basses.

I don't leave my house. I don't do a lot.

I did shoot a music video and they did touch up my face with their digitizing thing because they were so nice.

So can we talk about your face? Sure? So I don't know what I read online, So I'm not sure where you're at with it. So when did it start?

So? I came back from Morocco in January two years ago.

That was the Real Housewives Girls trip right that.

Ruined my life. Six months later, I started to swell up. My face was swelling up, and it would swell in one sur oh no, and then go to the other side, and then it was I have pictures and then it would flip flop. So it seemed like there was something alive and they're moving around, so I'm like, there's got to be some parasite.

I got like there's something which can happen. It can, but I.

Don't believe it's parasite now. But we still don't have answers. It's been a lot of doctor's appointments and a lot of money and unfortunately we don't have answers yet. And I know there's a problem, Like my kids are, you know, they were like my head sometimes feels like there's so much pressure inside my head in my neck that it's going to explode. I have to constantly chew gum. That's why I'm cheating them now.

I hate it.

It keeps my head from exploding because the pressure it keeps it moving so that my limps actually drained because my ted chairs like it's like bursting bubbles. It's disgusting. But the problem is I have kaiser, that's my problem. And I went to probably a dozen thirteen doctors there and no well at all, and so I started, you know, paying out of pocket and and the midst of all of this, I'm not working. All my jobs canceled because

I was had I miss this one?

Yeah, well I don't know because it's ruined my life. But I got six six months later. But those six months I was in a feedt up position on my couch, like contemplating suicide, being called horrible things by It's so crazy that the press has so much power, like blogged these bloggers they went, they went from gave her lap dance, to kissed her unwantingly, to sexually harassed her, then to rape like this is how and there's like two thousand articles.

On, I'm sorry. Yeah, so like a hustling mom and like.

You're just like this right, And then I lost my looks at the same time because I was I literally at fifty one, started only fans because I did not.

Have are you on? Only fans? I am?

Because I didn't have income for six months and I was like going through my savings and so I started that I was making good money, and then my face started being crazy. So then I couldn't really even do that because they're like, Okay, we don't want any more pictures of your feet or your mask with you with a mask on, because I was trying to hide my face.

So it just fee fund Yeah, I just do you have good feet? No, I have bunions, But people like them. It's weird, that's the thing they like that they are. I don't like it.

But so then it's just been a really tough tough time.

And then now.

Still not having a diagnosis.

I imagine that's the hardest. Is I fear the unknown and.

Just skidy frustration like something's But luckily some women have reached out to me on social media and they've had very very similar things happening to their face. And they've helped me so much to know what tests to ask for, know what, like you need to get a fungal panel because we had black mold poisoning a long time ago, so they think that could be part of this. Totally a fungal infection. Because we had it so bad, we got like a settlement from the landlord. And my son

Money from it.

Like you know, when Jake turns eighteen, ye'll have his little nest egg that Mason had, so it's good.

We were supposed to do that, and I couldn't deal with the lawyers and going to all the doctors to get the proof.

No, I didn't have insurance. I was like just buying everything on Amazon and sitting in my house like.

It was.

It's the worst. And I've never felt fully back from that point. But then if there's a I had a dental infection that no one knew about. It was under a bridge, and I kept telling my dentist, I'm like, there's something under there. It's really bothering me. He's like, we can see through it on the extra you're fine. And finally I took it out myself I got some yarn and some super flasks and I pulled it down

So I don't I still I have.

I think it was like a perfect storm of all shit things that happened and we still are figuring it out.

Yeah, my kids are still not okay, some worse than others. Yeah, there took. It took. I don't know if you guys had this with the black mold, but like neurologically, there would be things well I can't I couldn't see. It would just be like a delay or small And they did this thing. We went to this not Easter medicine, but like, yeah, they did all this the studies and they'd deal with mold and it's for people, like they think.

Like people don't understand you like I could. I had the worst anxiety in my life. I didn't leave that condo that we were living in. I couldn't see my hair was falling out my I like, thank god. My friend from Miami came over and he's like, there was a leak in the ceiling. I ask the landlords to fix it, like twenty times. They left it for four months and he's like, you know what this game? Like, I go, I don't know, but it smells horrible. He's like,

Yeah, I should have gone forward with it. I didn't. I didn't want to deal with more trust lawyers right now, and it's lawyer than just like forget it and then going through a divorce at the same time. I'm like, okay, so I let that one go.

Sometimes just easier to say to get a lawyer do this. I'm like I did for that, but I'm like, all.

It doesn't stress me out. Why why not just.

Keep it moving and see what happened when I kept it moving.

You want to be well, you want to be happy. You deserve that. But people online do tell you more.

Because they've gone through this woman. I don't even know if it's the same thing. But would she say she thought she's she sent me this. It's Tricka trica minosis. I have a written down, but it's a fungal infection that her and thirty other women have in Boulder, Colorado, because they went to a doctor that gave them filler that was not like some bogus as filla.

Oh my god.

And so I'm like, well, even though everyone thought I was doing too much filler and they always commented on it, I wasn't like I had stopped, but my face I looking back, it was still growing. So I think probably the dental infection had a baby with the filler, you know what I mean, Like the infection got into the filler and now there's a fungle.

I don't know. I just honestly want someone to open up my face and get rid of it. Oh my gosh. And you're working with doctor Dubrow or no, yes, I am.

So he was speaking about me on TMC. So I reached out to him because I said, if you're going to talk about me, you might as well help me.

It's fine, yeah, right, and like that's a nice guy. He's a nice guy.

Unfortunately we haven't we haven't come to any He thought it was filler too.

It's not filler.

It's like it's not filler.

And I'm like, you know, it's a fungle. How do you find that?

Though, Well, they have to test for it. The test, well, it's a culture they have to do.

But he didn't.

I thought he had done that.

But he did not, so so they'd have to open up in your face to.

Go in or well he took three biopsies, okay, so I thought we were testing for fungal.

Again.

I feel like it's so much more on the inside of my like inside of my mouth because all drains into my mouth, Like it might be better to go inside my mouth.

And do it.

So I'm seeing this new dentist and he's trying to help me. So I'm I'm like explaining all avenues because.

The pressure and neck it's makes sense, but it's all adding up, like but it's getting worse.

And like when when like an infectious disease doctor or that kaiser, like you're fine, you're not getting antibiotics, and like, I'm not here trying to get norco's. I need an antibiotic because I do feel better on antibiotics. And the one time I felt really good was that I had

And it's just so what do people do. I'm just asking, like, if you don't have insurance or good insurance and you don't get see good doctors, like.

That's all they care about is good fucking money. I'm like, I don't care what it costs. Like I had a rest, like I rescued this dog. I had a rescue tuala and that same vet for seven thousand dollars for a rattlesnake bite which I didn't have. But of course I'll find it. Yeah, I'll get another credit card to.

Have a lot. Yeah, for our babies, for our for babies. Will do anything anything. I will pay for hair.

That's like the one thing I cannot give up because when my hair's out, I do not feel good, like it's even It's like amplified by a hundred million.

I understand that.

I yeah, so most girls got it that don't that use have natural hair and use them a little bit of fluff on.

Top of it. Mine's more than that. He's trying to you have a single coming out? Talk about one second.

Okay, so we have music coming out myself and two Australian pop stars.

They reached out to me.

Well, one is my manager and my friend James. He's really famous in Australia.

James, is this true? James is here on the.

Side and he's handsome. And they asked you to do like a little a rap for the there a rap. Yeah I don't sing so, but I like, yeah, sure, So I wrote a up in it. It's actually really fun. My kid and I let my kids listen to it and they were mortified after they heard my first song because I did a rap song. It was just a joke, but they were like, not good, mom, but I still put it out. I didn't care.

Our kids can be so judging, you know what. I like it like, but yes, they like, Mom, that's dank. That's all I hear now from teens means good. No dank to us. Yeah, my eighteen said the other day and I was like, oh, I'm still He's like, no, Mom, Jane means awesome. I'm like, okay, if I.

Say anything that like with their lingo, they like. I'm like, I'm like, that's she liked an out of pocket and like, that's my lingo. But they're like, please do not say out of pocket. I'm like, that was what we were saying in ye say it if I want to say it, like, but their lingo, they're like, I just I say it in the wrong way on purpose to make them.

I'm like, why did it hit different? I don't like who hit you?

Like, no, it hit different?

Oh my god.

Yeah.

But anyway, my daughter may we put pants on the other day. I had like a slip dress on and little like booty shorts underneath you couldn't see anything. And she's like, I'm gonna say this in the nicest way, Mom, can you put on pants. I'm like, I'm wearing pants and she's like, no, like long pants, like those are shorts.

I'm so glad I don't have girls. I don't because I walk around like this is a lot of clothes for me. I walk around in simsuits I like have and my stupid dogs. I love them because they're so comfortable in my house and like the kids are so used to seeing me, like with barely any clothes on.

It doesn't FaZe them, thank god. But sorry I interrupt you usually Australia, James.

And it's called remedy. So it's yes, there's a little teaser on my Instagram now.

So people can go, okay, I have to go listen. Sorry, sorry and listening okay, okay, yeah, it'll be fun. It's a really fun like what are you wearing it? Oh my god. I have the best clothes, like mostly James's clothes. I like, the girl's got the best clothes.

You know.

The boy's just the boy. He's handsome enough. He doesn't need great though. He did look like a pirate and I had to change it. I'm taking this off, and don't you put those glasses on. But the girls, we look good. We had a great stylist. Okay, that comes out April ninth. Yes, okay, I'm really excited. I got to tell you, and I know what it's like feeling insecure and what anyone else says, we can't hear it at all. I'm sitting right with you, and I know

No, I have this like Peter Thomas Roth mask on and it tightens everything up.

Wait, what's that? I want that one my purse. I'll show you. But it lasts for about two hours, so you're it's like Cinderella is I used to have something like that.

It lasts for two hours, and it's like it makes it all smooth and then starts sinking in again and turning different colors.

So that's fun.

But it's a great mask until I can figure this out. That's what I'll be wearing.

I want you to figure it out. I'm excited to come on your podcast. We have more to talk about it.

I think I feel like we can day same.

I'm glad we got that all clear. I know. I'm so. I'm so sorry you thought I was a bitch when I first hit you. Okay, I mean, listen, I'm here.

I feel like we're all allowed to change, right, I'm.

No, I keep saying change. I promise you I wasn't a bitch. No, I know, but I probably keep across like you're.

Famous and Eddie, like you only talk to Eddie and I you know what I mean, famous people. I think that you're probably more scrutinized because because I don't know if I was some random person in an ovator.

That's my big thing, My entire life is because of who. My dad was never wanting anyone to think, like, oh, the rich girl, she's going to be a bitch, that I was a bitch, so I was usually overly out of the way. But I'm also always been super insecure, so I probably it was probably an everything in me to go up to him to say hi, because I don't like seeing like seeing people I don't, I don't. We were like, you know them, go say hi. I'm like,

It's fine and we'll do this again.

This was fun.

Yeah, I'm sorry I was a little late. But the dog, she is my Her name's Lady, Lady for lady

Sorry for lady, persh for Lady.