It's I Do Part two and I'm Jenny Garth, one of your hosts, and today I'm going to jump in with a fascinating woman that has really refined what leveling up can look like in your chapter two. You know her from Bravo shows Ladies of London and the Real Housewives of Dubai. She also hosts the podcast Uncut and Uncensored and she is leading some incredible women's retreats that I can't wait to hear about. So please welcome Caroline
Stanbury to the podcast. So, Caroline, you know, on this podcast we talk all about finding love again, you know, whether it's after been a whether it's been after a divorce or a loss of a spouse whatever. But for our listeners, can you just kind of like rewind and tell us a little bit about your major relationship milestones that you've gone through. And yeah, I think we should start with that.
I mean, I think you know, as a divorced woman, I was married for eighteen years. I've got I had three children. I think at that time they were probably eight or nine when I got divorced, years old, and I have twin boys. And then I had a daughter that slightly she must have been twelve at the time. And then I got divorced after eighteen years, and I
think after eighteen years you sort of lose yourself. I also, at the same time managed to sort of lose my business, Yes, get sued by a civil liquidata, and get divorced all at the same time, me to twenty four year old and marry him two years later. So I went all the same year, no, well into three years. So yeah, it was two years that I married. Yeah, I got divorced the same year I met my now husband and two years later we married.
Wow.
So and the year before I got divorced was when I was started to be sued. So and everybody said to me, don't this is a crazy time to get divorced. This is the worst time you could And I knew if I stayed it would be for the wrong reasons. It would be because I was scared of the financial outcome all of these things. So I literally had the weirdest story because none of it should work. I was forty three and I met a twenty four year old who had lied to me and said he was thirty one,
which was still too young. But I didn't visit myself married to him either, and here we are, so yeah, we're here. We're seven years on and I'm not living under a rock or in a council house by myself. So somehow it is just all worked out. And I want to tell whoever's out there. And you know, going through these things that if you push on through these times and the times that you think you will not make it, the other side's pretty darn good.
What do you mean when you push on through? Like what did you resort to when it came to pushing on through? Like what did you have to challenge yourself with?
Well, I've given you a very very short version. I was obviously, I was being sued, so at the same time as getting divorced. You know, my ex husband hated me obviously because I was marrying a twenty four year old.
Oh he wasn't fond of that idea.
Yeah. No, So you're dividing your assets then, But also when you're being sued, the only way you can get rid of an asset is in a law case. You know, if you're being you know, it's giving it to an ex husband so or to a husband or to a spouse. So you're in these terrible terrible situation where you know that you need that money. Actually, I mean in the end, I won my whole case, but like that was a
lot further on, and I thank you very much. I had probably twenty five thousand dollars left to my entire name. I had rent to pay, mortgage, to pay, three kids, a twenty four year old who may as well be in another dependent at that stage, and just didn't know what I was going to do or how I was going to do it. And I'm a very pragmatic, very very you know, strong woman. I've always run everything. I had eighty six employees. I was, you know, I'm a businesswoman.
I can normally solve everything, and this was just something I just could not solve. I couldn't pay. I'd paid one point one pounds to lawyers if any money left to do it. I didn't have any money left from anyone to get from anyone. I couldn't work because if I went to work, I wasn't getting the money anyway. The lawyers were, so you know, it doesn't make you want to go to work because you're not earning it. Someone else is taking it. So that I was as at bottom as I think you could get like, I
really didn't see a way out. But you know, I also knew going back wasn't an option for.
Me, right, you knew that. How did you feel about going forward into a new relationship and really quickly a new marriage, Like what was that process?
Like?
How did you bring yourself into that type of joy?
I mean it wasn't all joy. I mean I went to hospital twice. I think with panic attacks, anyone's you know, going into a new relationship after an old one, you kind of panic anyway, and you're going, what am I doing? You're in a complete On the one hand, it brings joy and lightness. And what I realized was if I am forget the new guy, And that's what I want
to say. It's not about the new man. I never left for him, but I had met him at the end of my marriage, right, And what I feel is that if you can have those feelings for someone else and you're getting more, you know, this kind of joy and feelings, then your other relationship isn't the one you should have been in. You can't steal someone that doesn't want to be stolen. I have plenty of marriage friends whose husbands definitely wouldn't you know, jump because I said,
you know, let's go. It doesn't happen like that. You know, it's one of you has to be get a ball. And I think, you know, what I realized was it wouldn't be fair to stay in my marriage because I, you know, didn't feel like I was feeling with him anymore. Regardless whether you know, my twenty four year old stayed or not.
How did you know it was time to get out of your marriage.
When I was happy at out the house than in it.
Ah, that's that's yeah, that's truth right there.
Yeah, And it's it's as simple as that. I got asked that question all the time because I used to have a podcast called Divorce Not Dead, which is now uncut and uncensored, and I named it Divorce not Dead because everyone goes, oh, I'm so sorry, and actually, no, don't be sorry. I left, you know, and I left for good reason. And actually, you know, it doesn't matter how big your house is. I don't care how many bedrooms you've got and how many and staff and everything
like this. If you don't love being in it, and you don't love the person that you built it with anymore, then you know you may as well, it doesn't matter if you live in this, you know, tiny room I'm sitting in right now. I'd rather be in this if you've got you know, the biggest wealth to me is peace.
Yes, the biggest wealth is peace. That is very true. I like that a lot. What what is your like? How has that been co parenting with your three kids with your access?
Well, now it's perfect. We went through We went through helen back, you know obviously, like he's a Turkish man, he runs a very big business. You know, I did the worst, you know, like it's the most embarrassing thing that can ever happen to a man. You know, lots of women men leave for younger women. Name me a man that you know that a woman that's left for a younger man and it's worked out because normally it fails.
And then ever we go haha, silly, old fool, right, and so they kind of wait for that, and mine hasn't worked out like that, And so, you know, I embarrassed him, and I get that. I can completely see it. So it took a long time, but he's a very good man, and I think now he realizes we're all in the right place, good and our kids are particularly happy and we manage you know, he's got a girlfriend.
And the beginning was very hard because I really try to do the right thing, which was like, you know, when he was so upset about you know, obviously I'd be like, oh, we can still have breakfast together and dinners together. Well that's ridiculous. No, you can't. You can't do that. You have to cut.
Cut tis you think that's the key, cut it key's That's where for me too, Like I have to actually like delete the contact, like I don't even want to see the name.
Yeah, I mean I don't mind as much as that, but I mean to keep any normalcy, cannot you know, because you're actually lying to yourself, the kids and the
everything else. You just have to rip the off. I have other friends of mine that were like they kept their boyfriends or lovers or the people that they were seeing, you know, even like after they've got separated from the husbands so away from the children for like a year, and they've been going out, you know, going out at nights, staying in hotels, making their lives uncomfortable, and actually a year and a half two years later, the reaction from the kids is exactly as the same as mine was
day one, except mine's over and now they've got to relive it, and they've you know, they still haven't really moved on and had their life, because they're sneaking around at night like they're having an affair anyway, even though they're not.
Yeah, you, I too, am married to a younger man and I two have three daughters, three kids, so I can really relate. I was, Yeah, I was ready for something new, and I knew I was at a point in my life that I needed like energy and laughter and that zest for life, you know. And I feel like that he brought that into our home during a kind of because it happened very quickly for me as well, that we met and got married, and it was just like this is this feels good. This felt good to me,
this felt good to the girls. So I kind of felt like this is the right thing. So I just kept going with and listening to my instincts. That's all you can do. I think that's it.
It's the instinct and the thing is I mean, you know, look, obviously I do a different type of reality TV and you do. But it's still a weird life for any normal man, right.
Was he accustomed to that world your new husband, Sergia.
No, he was a soccer player, so you know, I mean he's accustomed to obviously a bit of a crazy world because in real Madrid at seventeen, he had like, you know, a lot of fans and things like this, right, but no with cameras and living under a microscope and also the horrible things I mean is, you know, people love to write about you, especially if you're good looking. And now he's with an older woman, so that must
be crazy. I'm that bought him, or he's gay and all of these you heard it all, but yes, everything, so but you know, I'm sure you I thought about it long and hard. Like an older man my age or old it wouldn't want the life I lead, you know, all the open you know, the constant scrutiny from people, and all of this, and I think you know, as you said, the one thing that hit home as well,
it's just the laughter. I have everything else. I can make everything else work, but I need to giggle, and I need to like have my friend and we just I wasn't friends with my ex, right.
Oh and that's the best feeling too, when you find your new best friend that you just can't get enough of and you want to stay with and just deal all of your life with. I mean, it's exciting. It brings us great excitement into your world. And I'm so happy you found that you you got married six years ago, is that right? A? Yeah, six years, six years ago,
and your husband you said, is a professional soccer player. Yeah, that's very exciting, and I'm sure, yeah, all the hell lines must have been bananas with with this whole situation.
Sex slave was sex slave.
I never heave that one.
I rented him. I don't even know how you do that for that many years, but okay, I would rent him if I could. Yeah, just loads of things, right, which is really insulting to women, by the way, because you know, men do this the whole time, all unders time. Why it's so shocking. I'm like, you know, I'm such a troll that no younger guy would want to be with me. I don't get it. Were great. Older women are amazing, amazing, amazing because we have so.
Much knowledge now and we've been through so many things, and I think we've grown so much because you know, and then also you, I think you're around the kind of the age that I was when I know a little bit different, but you take stock in what's important in your life because you've had the experience of what didn't work and what didn't feel right and what didn't feel good, and you don't there's no going back to that once you've gotten through it.
No, you know exactly what you want, and I think, you know, like I look at younger girls and friends of his that are dating younger girls, and I'm he rolls his eyes, like, you know, I've lost my passport? Can you fix this? You know? They you know, it's like everything, Oh, I just want a credit card to go to amez. You know, that's that's it. It's like they haven't there's no chat, there's no there's no confidence, there's no like they're always waiting around for them and
the guy and everything's on him to do. Whereas you know, I think I have such a big life already set up that's so exciting. You know, you can go, you can follow it, you can not follow it, you can do It's just every day something's new.
That first year that you got married remarried and you did it quickly? Did were you ever? Was there a point where you're like, oh my god, what did I just do? Was there ever a point like maybe this was a mistake, Maybe I rushed into this.
No, I mean not when I got married. I think you know, after after he kept pushing, No before sorry, when he kept pushing before, I was like, Okay, everyone told me he was love bombing me. This couldn't be true. You know, all my friends that have been married eighteen years or whatever, they were like, you know, in all due respect, you're really great, but like, this is very weird. This guy's flown halfway across the world to live with you. He wants to be with your kids, you know, all
of these things. And then you start overthinking, and you're going, maybe I'm wrong, Maybe I'm the silly old idiot, you're right. And then I ended up having As I said, I hospitalized my twelve myself twice. I was in my hair salon in La and it was Nikki Lee, Nikki Lee. I had to be taken out literally my ambulance with the things in my hair. And I waited three months for that, and I was going, now I was going
to leave with them. In another appointment. She goes, She's like, take them out, we'll do it again tomorrow.
Oh my god, you know.
And then I'm going, oh my god, what have I done? You know, I've blown up my whole fucking life and I can't go back to What am I going to do?
You know?
And then of course you do think everyone's right. I can't be the only one that thinks this is a good idea. And no one thought this was a good idea, you know, and everyone goes, he's going to leave you, He's going to leave you. And then I was like, you know, then I just woke up and I was like, well, what do I care? Okay, it's going to leave me. Great exactly, myke'x husband could leave me tomorrow. So so what It's fine, You'll be fine. I'll be fine.
And isn't that the best feeling? Like as a woman, you stand on your own. It doesn't matter who comes, who goes, who joins in with you, who enjoys, you know, the ups and downs of your wild life, because it's your life and you're living it. And you know, I had I reached that point where because I was very much more attached to staying and security of the family and I didn't want to break it up, you know, things to check where you're married. I was married for
seventeen years. Also, oh, similar to you story. Yeah, so but I wasn't.
I don't know.
I just I come from a different background. I think has a lot to do with it where you stay married and so that was really hard for me. But afterwards it was, you know, the realization that because once you attach once you like cling onto something and don't want it to end, or don't want a situation to change. Once it finally turns the corner and you make that change, you make that adjustment, you kind of look back and think, look, look what I just did, Like, I can do anything.
I can get through that. What's next? And you meet a younger guy, he leaves you, So what here I am again with myself.
In the meantime, we're having great sex, having fun. We've rediscovered ourselves. Like you know, I like, at the end of most relationships off to that long you think you're a sexual, you think you don't even like sex anymore. You're like, Okay, I'll live without it for the rest of my life. Yeah, maybe I should try, but yeah, you never know, didn't go there yet, but you never know. You never know.
My daughter just told me last night we were watching it. Oh, somebody got married that she knows two women and she was watching their wedding on a video and she's like, Wow, that just looks so nice, so romantic, so beautiful. Everybody gets wear dresses, well, solways, an option bed, whatever you want.
Eventually, exactly if I come from the same elk, like you know, there was no divorce in my family. My mother's initial reaction is get back in there and you stick it out, right, And then you know, I thought to myself, stick it out. I'm turning, you know, forty at that time, forty five. I'm like, stick it out. I've got another fifty years. Yeah, you're not going to die tomorrow. You don't want to live the rest of your life and lightless? Right? No, for what reason? And then live a lie?
Yeah, sticking it out sounds awful.
Lots of people do it and live the lie like they have extramarital fairs which they keep to keep their family. And then you know, like I don't understand because I always say some of the biggest lies are in the longest marriages, and that isn't a relationship for me. I don't want that. Like if I have to come home and think about the lie that I've got to tell my husband every night so that he can sleep and I can sleep, and I'm the only one not sleeping.
I don't know how people do it. I really, truly do not know how you continue.
I honestly don't either. Like I, one man has plenty for me to like to manage, and he says the same thing about me, like, there's no way he could have an affair because he just wouldn't be able to handle having to women, because it's a lot of work being in a relationship, you know, like keeping it good and growing. What about Like so after you got married, and I know this firsthand, there is a difference. There is an age difference. And I didn't ever acknowledge that
early in my relationship with my husband. I thought, you know, that's ridiculous, and I don't. I don't feel any difference. But there have been and we've been married for ten years, this was our tenure. We've you know, we've been through some stuff where I've gone second guess myself and thought like, wow, okay, is this because he just hasn't grown through this period of his life. He hasn't come to these crossroads personally, so he really can't, you know, relate on the way
I want or hope he will. I have to kind of meet him where he.
Is all the time. Of course, sometimes I literally want to throttle him, because sometimes he's a husband, an amazing husband. Other times it's like having another son, you know, in the weirdest possible in the nicest possible way without it being weird.
Oh my god.
But you know it can be because I'm teaching him at the same time. You know how he'd never lived with a woman. You know, I've had many relationships where I lived with someone, compromised with someone, understood what a man has to do in the house. I'll do this, you do that. You know, I'm teaching him from scratch, so you know, of course sometimes you go, oh, oh my god, you know, but everything. I mean, I remember lying in bed going, oh, top Gun, can't wait, and
he goes, what's tops What do you mean? What do you mean? What's top Gun? I was like, where on earth were you? And he wasn't born. I know, I'm like, oh my god, and I have to remind myself of these things. So yes, well, I mean, I get asked this all the time that the big thing is how we split finances. Everybody wants to ask me, the sex thing. Everybody wants to ask me, And I think, you know
exactly that the age difference, sometimes the maturity. But again, what I do do to settle my own head and not go I haven't made a giant mistake, is I go, oh, look at my friend's husbands, every single one of them, And I'm like, no, it couldn't be with any of them, not one, Nope, they're bitter. And then even just getting on the phone to co parent with my ex husband who now has a loving relationship and is in a
very good space and we get on quite well. Now, you know, he still irritates that he bejeeves out of me, like really drives me nuts. I'm like, he's a cup is half empty person. You know, my son wanted to go to Texas this year and he said, oh, I'm flying to America or by himself twenty hours. What if he gets sent home? I'm like, and you know, so
it's so different. And I'm like, well, if you get so the worst case he doesn't get through the border for whatever him, he's fifteen, Why wouldn't he get through he's got an esther and and he's like, it's very difficult to go to the States, And I'm like, okay, so the very worst he gets, he gets all the way there and has to come back. But if the great otherwise he goes to Texas. This is amazing. Yeah.
So we're just totally different people. So I'm a doer and he's a and I don't want to be in a relationship where I'm where someone sees the rain, Where's my husband sees a rainbow and wants to go dance in the rain.
What a difference it is. That's I'm so happy for you. Do you feel like do you ever have your mom's a resentment though, where when you feel like you're kind of living with a boy man?
Yes, yeah, of course I do. And I told I tell him, you know, like you've got to step up and do this way. How do they take that?
Like, I'm curious how he as a man takes these kinds of like you teaching him lessons or him coming up to the war and facing he does. He's very receptive. Okay, that's very receptive. You're very that's very good, very receptive.
And actually we lean into some of the I mean, it is quite funny sometimes to watch me because I do forget, Like I'll tap him on the back if I want him to straight, and it's like, oh my god, it's a mom move and I forget, you know, like and because my sons are massive too, by the way, there's six foot so the three of them all behind me, and they all borrow each other's clothes, and so I do. It isn't lost on me. But you know, oh my god. But like, you know, on the other hand, please I
don't want it to sound really weird. We do have a husband wife relationship. What has he taught you to relax through things so you know that it's never the end of the world, like and the safety of first of all, age, you know. I used to feel older weirdly with my ex husband, Like if I got a gray head, you know, grace when you're on a holiday and you're like, oh my god, I need to find you know, get my roots done, or you know, he would tell me not on pobs, go a little bit
gray here or whatever. I would feel older. Where's my husband now? Is Like we're traveling, He's like, oh, leave it. I love it, you know, it's so weird. The thing is he helps me in so many ways, right with the kids, my businesses, so I do these even like the women's retreats. I wasn't. I started doing women's retreats and I teach financial independence and I teach women life after divorce and investing and things like this, which is
really fun. And I wasn't going to have him, but I one of my because I didn't think it was appropriate, right, one of the camera guys couldn't come, And then he did it all and then the women just loved having him there. And he's not in the room when we're doing all our talks and everything, but he was on the island, and you know, he just he's my partner, so like and because he's my husband, all the money goes to the same pot obviously, and we're running around
doing things together, which means I don't travel alone. And he's just taught me that life. I would have told you there's no way on earth I would have worked with my ex husband ever ever.
Why it would have just been too frictious.
Yeah, because I had a very big business before, and I felt like, you know, he would have we would always we were quite competitive with the money we earned and all of these kind of things. And you know, and then because he came in as younger and came into my already built train, I feel like he was more able to pick up the slack and do the bits I couldn't do. And that now we're just a team.
You're a part the other partner partnership. So if he does this, and if he's doing the work, then great, and I've got the kids, or he's got the kids and I'm doing the work. But somehow it's all working right at the same time, and we're doing all the businesses together, and we're traveling together. Because that was the other thing, the distance. I think. You know, my ex husband traveled for work, then I traveled for work, so then you know, we just became there was such a disconnect.
Our friends were different. I wanted to be with my girlfriends all the time. You know, my husband is my girlfriend, and he loves being with my girlfriends. So it's just I don't know, He's taught me so many things, you know, so many things it's really hard to explain, just to chill, you know, to enjoy work rather than just like I've got to go to work. You know. I love that.
It sounds like he's sort of brought you to like a place of being able to sort of step back and smell the roses and like have peace with yourself.
Well, you know when they say the work life balance, come on, there isn't one rights not for.
What we do.
That's a lie. That's how Yeah, Like, if you're filming for three months, how do you separate work in life? You can't that it work is your life, right, So the only way you can make it work is if your life comes with you or your whole life is. So that's that's what I feel like. My whole life is in this house and this is where I walk. I went from home.
Yeah, if he's happy with coming along with you and being a part of your big life, then.
Go for it.
Like more power to you. That's amazing. Hey guys, it's Cheryl Burke.
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I want to know more about the women's retreats though. This is intriguing to me. I think I think I heard you have one coming up in November. Yes, no care tell tell.
So it kind of started by actually I told you I had this podcast called Divorce Not Dead, which I changed because it was so niche, but actually I probably shouldn't have changed the name. I love it anyways, So I just thought I used to get written to all the time, like how you know the transition through divorce and women? I know very very wealthy women or not
wealthy women. Women that were married to very wealthy men, you know, And there's always sort of this smugness about wealthy women who've married well, and they go, you know when I'm fine, Well, you know you're not not unless he's put in your account. So let me just tell you that right now. And you know, it's amazing how poor they are the day you get divorced. So no, beyond true. And I trust me. I live in the Middle East. I see it every day. I'm sure literally
every day mine. It's nuts and they end up with nothing. And I had like a girlfriend of mine, she had seventeen homes before she was married. She was she was married twenty years. She got nothing. She doesn't even know ow an apartment. I mean, it's insane. So the little money she did get, you know, the little money she did get, now she sits on it in the bank right because she's too scared. She's like, it's all I've got. She does want to let it go. And that is
a understandable woman. And I think women have to understand because I run meant multiple businesses and they come out all the time. So I have a project in Bali, I have the podcast, I have you know, airbnbs here, I built the house. But this is this is by the way, after four years of like almost going bankrupt, right, I built all the back. I don't know how if
I really think about it. But that's why I started these retreats, because if I had been scared for a minute, I wouldn't have been able to do or build the wealth I have back at all. But and I don't know why I wasn't scared, but only that and the other way, you have no choice. If you don't go on and build it, what are you gonna do. You're gonna sit on the piddly little amount you've got left and just wait for someone to pay you a salary.
You have to make your money work for you today or you'll always work for somebody.
That's right.
And that's it. And I'm thinking about I'm fifty. I need passive income when you need to care.
Yeah, you need that security because no one's going to give it to you at this point. It's all I am, right, So I think I had that realization too, where I was like, this is my life there and I've been an independent my entire life, never lived you know, never accepted money from a husband or anything like that. But I can absolutely put myself in the shoe a woman who has And I thought about that a lot, and you know, when I realized this is it. I am
on my own no matter what. I've got to figure it all out or there is really no or that, there's only.
That option, there's no are, there's no or. And you know, other women just sit there, going, well, someone else is going to come along. Yeah, Well, you know today, with the way the world is, there's such a disconnect between men and women. They may not and they should be prepared either way. It didn't matter.
You can't depend on someone else for your life, basically, and.
I teach that. And so when these women. I started doing these dinners first, and I wanted to see who would show up, and I had no idea. I was like, I did one in New York. I was like, God knows who's going to show off. And this is the first person that came. I see this little old lady coming across no across the road, and I'm going, okay, and she goes Caroline waving at me, and I'm like, oh God, this is going to be a nightmare.
Wait, how did she find out? How did she find out.
So I put it on my I put it on my This was a dinner. It started as a dinner that you could pay a ticket and come to the dinner. I put on my Instagram. Who's in New York loved? You know, I'm hosting a VIP dinner. So anyway, the first woman comes and she sits down and she sold her business to Warren Buffett. Okay, yes, okay. She then made so much money she bought it back. She was living in Mustique. She's about I think she was seventy six when she came to the dinner. This is a
few years ago now. And another another woman came. She'd sold a business for I don't know, three four hundred million Australian, which is like two hundred million dollars. It was the weirdest lasers. Yeah, getting divorced. And these powerful women came right and I was, I mean, I was the poorest person at the table by far, and Lee successful. So I'm going, why are all these women why are they listening to me? Yes? And then I understood women want to like minded women. Okay, at this age, they
want to connect with women. They want purpose, They don't need to make money. Any you know, they don't need to make money, but they need to do something they want the next thing they've done, they've already made the money. You know, some other women came of of course it hadn't made that kind of money, but they'd made a nice amount of money. Some of them had grown up in small towns, made a bit of money. And you know, the people around them now resented them, right because they
became a little bit bigger than them. And they wanted to connect with like minded women. And it was the weirdest thing, and it became quite powerful. And then I did this other one in Texas and one woman was running for Congress, another woman was to one went to Princeton. One had like all these treatment centers in LA like amazing beautiful women, and they've all kept in contact with each other. And I said, I'm actually doing something quite
powerful here. These women wanted to do business with each other, they want to connect with each other. They're now doing a reunion. I'm on a group chat with them and I can see. I take everybody's see before they come to the retreat, so I can see, Like on this new one, I've got quite a lot of people who are in real estate coming because real estate's really quite an easy business for somebody who's starting out to invest
and doesn't know how to invest their money. And that is probably the easiest way for a woman to build wealth with not much, you know, not much education.
Can I pause for you for a second, say, I'm one of those women that doesn't have any money. Like my husband wasn't wealthy. We're divorced. Now I'm still not wealthy and I'm on my own. So how do I even start?
Well, I always tell the women, because I do, you know, I tell you look around the house and see what
you can sell, liquidate as much as you can. And you know, if you've got jewelry assets, any asset, get rid of it and put it into a down payment, because all you need to do is get on that ladder and you can start with you know, it doesn't have a one bedroom tiny I started with one bedroom apartment, and then I started to build and to remortgage and to get my next one and my next one, and I got six and I don't know how.
So you bought an apartment and then you flipped it, rented it.
Out, rented it out, renovated it. That as much as I could re mortgaged it, used that mortgage payment to do the next one, and did the same and started building beautiful.
This is not hard. That's not hard.
It's on a cloud.
No one has ever broken that down for me, like no one has ever. Here's step one, here's step two, here's step three. Yes, if you want to follow this plan.
Yes, and that's what I do. So we sit there until you actually can't walk away. The whole point of the retreat is you walk away with an answer. Everybody, and also the women that are in there. Some, as I said, some are super successful and some aren't and don't have the money, but they want to learn, right, So everybody sits there and you actually get each other's opinion.
I mean, that's what happens when women come together, are strong together, any kind of woman, A week strong, doesn't even matter. The energy just changes everybody's energy.
The energy in that room was insane. But when I break it down like that to you, and you know I didn't have any money left. I didn't. I told you I had twenty five thousand dollars and maybe that's still for some people, a lot of money. I don't know, but that wasn't. I wasn't sitting on a pile of cash. I have six I have six and somehow I bought this house. You can talk yourself into anything. My last apartment I spent zero because I refinanced the others. I
didn't put a pound down, not one pound. And I think it sounds so complicated that we over complicate, right, But once you get going, it's truly not you know, And you'd be surprised how much money if we're really talking about you as sitting in your home in probably bags, clothes, car I could think of quite a few things. You can buy them back later when you've built a portfolio. I remember when I have a mortgage guy here who was helping me, and I said, I've got no money left.
I've got no cash left, and he goes, well, we've been here before, haven't we, except you now have a property portfolio. And I looked around and went, I do.
You say it's label breaking? Like about breaking the labels.
It's about, you know, breaking the mystery. I think people like to over complicate business. Right, I've achieved this, but I you know, because you're seeing the end, you're seeing me at six or seven. But you don't seeing where I started, right. Everyone wants the end, but they don't know what the beginning was. The beginning. You know, I've never started a business where I haven't literally had to beg somebody for money to start, right, except for the
property business, I didn't beg anyone. I just literally said, okay, you know, I'll save this that the mortgage. In fact, your deposits are even less than we have to do here. You in America, you can put very little down.
Yeah, okay.
I looked at the States too, yes, much less, so, you know, and and there are so many good business plans out there, Like I wanted to do Section eight housing in America because I just thought that was just such a great business. And I've looked at all of it. You know, you want to do in America. You want to do the things that are un sexy, right, The businesses no one else wants to do in our in our genre are the businesses that you want to take.
Those are the ones that make money. Car washers, no joke, laundry mats, no joke, very little upfront, so unglamorous, so unglad. That's necessity. They are also what do you call it, my head's gone proof. Recession proof, the recession proof, and that's what you're looking for. And then when you can build it and you want to do something glamorously, to go for it. But you know, I don't care about glamor.
I mean, you know, I always said that I would do the I would do the depends the nappy, you know, the one, the one for women's content that they want to pay for me.
Someone will see you to it.
Yeah, exact why, I know, But like I'll take the un sexy jobs they pay. Hmmmm.
It's it's so interesting your perspective, and I love that it's coming from this strong female financial Uh, you know, I can make this happen for myself. And that's such an important message to women, especially women that don't come from wealth that finding you know, they're finding themselves kind of starting over and it is very scary.
It is scary, but you should take other people and let them inspy you instead of let them threaten you.
Yes. Absolutely. Big pivot for me was looking at other women who have more than me, who are smarter than me, who who have just you know, had more success than me. I want to surround myself with those women because I want to learn learn how they did it. I want to I want to see what that looks like.
That is the most important thing. You want to be the most dumb person in the room if you're not changed rooms.
Because you're not gonna learn anything in that room. Right, that's the thing.
Nothing, and that's the most important thing. I don't think you know, look, use it, use it. Listen to people that have been through it, because you know, again, as you said, no one's coming to save you. It is so easy when you break it down and it's not as scary. And a woman that's already there, that's achieved something from nothing, and a lot of the people that have, you know, really successful women today have come from nothing.
Look at people like Emma Grady, look at look at all these women who have hard graph to get to where they are. Right, they will give you a leg up, they will give you their secrets. It's the ones that haven't had to work for it that don't right. You know, when I was building my first business, I was doing like a netaporte online but for gifts. I remember the founder of netaport and one of the one of the
first investors. She gave me her packaging company, her tissue paper company, her gifting you know, the river everything, and everyone was going stop asking her, and she said, no, no, I'm there's room for everybody in this business. That's you know, if you're a confident woman, there is room for everybody. I'm not giving you my secret. There's no secrets, no secret, you know, Yeah, there's no secret. The secret is. The secret is I'm doing it. Yeah, hard work, get up
and do it. Just get up and do it. If you can't afford to do it in your country, there are other countries that you can afford to get to do it in. I've just started doing it in Bali. Now. I'd never been to Bali before.
Oh my gosh, I heard your your you and your husband are opening a retreat.
Hotel, boutique hotel. I don't know how. I was so dead against it. I've never I've been to Bali once in my life. Don't didn't really like it, Like, I'm like, why am I going? This was years ago now I quite like it. I bought we bought the land. Then I'm like, I don't know how we're going to pay for the rest of it, and like just slowly, slowly and then people see your dream, they join you, and it's happening. It is being built. I've done all the foundations.
It's all there, the big builds starting. We've just got a huge partner. It's coming because we're doing it. We took the step. We just did it, and there is like Dubai you get like you know, this is something that I can run for the rest of my life. I don't look need to look pretty, I don't need to look I don't need to really know what I'm doing. Because it's a boutique hotel. Everyone's going to come because they're going to want to like either meet us or see if it's good, see if it's rubbish.
Yeah, you know, but they're going to come out come. It sounds I mean, I'm so excited for you. That sounds like such a fun. Chapter two to do with your new husband, Like hasn't been working with them?
Well, he's been doing that. It's great. We don't argue at all because we do different things. I think the best thing is just to separate your your roles and don't tread on each other's toes communication. It sounds like, yes, and if you're working for the same thing, which is your retirement together? Right then you're excited, like it's the
same thing. I think a lot of people do bet and breakfast in America now, and things like this, like just jobs or businesses that don't you could run for the rest of your life, that don't really require you to look a certain way, and that you can keep the room rates going and you it's just an easy, fun business and you get to meet nice people.
And you know, I love this. I'm so excited about this chapter in your life. I think that a lot of women are going to be really inspired by your strength, your knowledge. You know, I didn't know you before this interview, and I just met you. I'm not a watcher of any of the housewives.
Don't why you weren't learning?
Were you were on the Dubai right? Yeah, which I can was very glamorous because, like I said, I never saw it, but it sounds like such a wild ride. Is there going to be another? Are there going to be more episodes of the next Dubai Housewife?
Actually don't know. We are paused at the moment. I think quite a few of them, so I have no idea. Again, you know, TV, you never know, That's why you can't rely on it.
Why did they posit? I think they can posit for a million reasons, I guess, but I don't know.
I think Dubai is quite hard, you know if first of all, it's very foreign for them, you know, like it's it's very expensive to come over here all the way from the States. It's a very foreign place to film. You've got to look at a lot more permits. It's they're not used to having. We were the first reality
show here, so they've never had anything like that. I mean, it's funny because I did Ladies of London in England and we were the first reality show there too, and it was just as hard, you know, because everyone didn't understand what we were trying to do. And it was called Real Housewives of Dubai, and then the Dubai government were like, well, they're not like Real Housewives of Dubai. That's not what Real Housewives of Dubai looks like, you know.
So it was it's just it's a different, very foreign town to do it. But I think they're getting their head around it now.
Okay, well would you do it again?
I don't know, is the answer. Right now. I'm very happy out of it, like I'm a very happy, positive person and these shows, you know, require you to go head to head with a lot of women, and I think you can see that I'm not that. I like to build women. I love it.
Maybe the shows need to kind of pivot their focus, but maybe that won't be it's fun for people to watch. I don't know. If it were me producing it, I would absolutely be pivoting to women, supporting women and meeting women like you today who are like, let me tell you by manufacturer's name, let me tell you where to take your money. I love that about you. You are a giver to other women and that's awesome.
Thank you, thank you, I mean, and it should be glorified, like I would love a show like this too, So I would love to do Building Barley and things like this. Way you can still have the conflict and the fun because obviously there's things that are going to be going wrong, right, but you know, or or any business show with women, right it is everybody's learning and everybody is trying to get ahead, and we all are in the same position today.
Most women are divorced and looking for their next chapter. And that is if women came together and helped other women feel secure in what their next chapter looked like. The world would be a very different place.
Well, they can look to you so and to me, yeah, and to you we've got something. Yeah, we've all got examples. I say, definitely surround yourself with stronger, stronger women that have been through more and learned more.
Thousands week give you strength.
Well, thank you so much for chatting with me today. I really really enjoyed it.
Thank you for having me. It's been amazing. Who knew we had such parallel lies.
I know it's weird when you talk to someone you've never met before and things like that happen.
I love it.
Yeah, Well, good luck with your resort, retreat. What should I call it?
Retreat?
Hotel? Oh, you retreat and your hotel you a lock away on.
Well I'm two years away from that, but I'm in the middle of it all.
Love it. Keep going, You're doing great. Thank you all right, have a great thing.
So nice to meet you. Bye bye.
This conversation has been so incredible. Thank you Caroline for joining me on the pod. If you're ready to level up your chapter two, call us or email us. All the info is in the show notes follow US on socials. Make sure to rate and review the podcast I Do Part two, an iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is the main objective.