You're listening to I Choose me with Jenny Girl. Hi everyone, it's me just Jenny today. I'm so glad you're here. Actually, i'm so glad i'm here because for a minute there, I wasn't sure I was going to make it to the microphone today, you guys, I want to share some of what's going on in my life right now. And I don't know if I'm sharing to connect or because I just need someone to listen. So, if you don't know, my mom moved in over the holidays. She's eighty three
and she needs full time care. Our family got a new little puppy who needs full time care as well. And to top it all off, I had a surgery on my foot and have been very unable to do all the things that I normally do. No cleaning really, even though I try to clean up after everybody on my crutches, which I'm not supposed to do, but you know, no working out of any kind. I haven't seen a gym since, uh, I don't know, before the holidays, which has me feeling really blah and unhealthy and like I'm
really letting myself down. And did I mention Jiggly, Yeah, I'm feeling jiggly, like all my hard work at the gym was for nothing. I know that's not true, but does that make sense at all? Have you ever felt that way? I haven't seen my friends in what feels like forever, and everyone around me is sick with the flu or some sort of cold or COVID. It's bananas. If you could see my house right now, actually, ah, I'm glad you can't, because there are constant dishes in
the sink. There are peepee pads everywhere for Dottie Puppy. There are piles of things that needed to be moved and dealt with. Oh wait, and I forgot one more thing. We are in full construction right now. I've been saving up money like a little squirrel to remodel our bathroom finally. But little did I know that it all would be happening at the very same time. And what sometimes makes it harder is that this kind of season doesn't come
with instructions or clear boundaries. There's no finish line, there's no ribbon waiting at the end, except maybe the new bathroom, which I'm still looking forward to. It's just day after day of showing up and adjusting Some days I feel strong and capable and grounded. Other days I feel like I am holding it together by a thread. And I notice how quickly my mind wants to compare, you know,
the scrolling. I will look at the gram, the TikToker for a second and I will see people traveling and working out and launching things and looking all pulled together, and my brain immediately goes to, what is wrong with you? Why can't you handle this better? You know what that comparison there, that trap is very sneaky. You know. The expression compare despair is that it no compared to yes,
compare despair. So when you are comparing, it leads to despair to unhappiness because that comparison voice doesn't ask if what you're carrying right now is heavy? It just asks why aren't you carrying it more gracefully? So I am practicing not asking that question anymore. Instead, I am asking myself different ones, like what actually matters today? What needs to be done? And what can wait? And what would
support look like right now? Some days support looks like asking for help, and I hate asking for help, but it's really necessary. Some days it looks like letting the house stay messy and choosing rest. Some days it looks like making a plan with a girlfriend instead of all the other stuff on my list of to do's. And I'm really realizing that choosing yourself isn't always a big, empowering, instagram worthy moment. Sometimes choosing yourself is quiet. It's choosing
not to pile on shame when you're already hurting. It's choosing patience over it's choosing kindness when your inner critic is allowed. This season is humbling me, for sure, it's really frustrating me. But also it's teaching me that strength doesn't always look like pushing through. Sometimes it looks like staying present, staying open, staying gentle. I know, I know this sounds like woe is me, but we all have
our stuff, right. It's been trying last month. I even sort of blurred out the fact that a whole new year rolled in, kind of like it didn't really happen. Actually, the truth is, it has taken all of my learning and my tools to stay up and moving forward. I've
been overwhelmed. I've been scared, exhausted, in pain, angry, emotional, and frankly feeling defeated, which is not good, but also full of love and gratitude, with a realization that I'm so fortunate and I've learned that all of those things can exist at the same time. And I'm telling you all of this not for sympathy, but just to share that my life has been lifing to the max and
maybe yours has two. So let me ask you. Have you ever had one of these seasons where life doesn't just give you a little hill to get over, it gives you a big, giant mountain, like everything feels like it's being thrown at you all at once. So today I want to talk about the voice that starts talking to us when we're in this space this season, because the way we speak to ourselves in the mess, that's what determines our path forward. Lately, that voice has been
tough on me. It's been why, Jenny, the house is a wreck. You're not being good enough at caretaking for your mom. Your fitness routine is lacking, your relationship is strained because you're too tired to even talk. Sometimes it's like a runaway train of I'm not good enough. And yes, being a caregiver for Mimi is an honor. It really is a blessing to be able to spend this time with her and be here to support her and take
care of her. But it's also exhausting, And if you've ever been a caregiver, you know exactly what I mean. And when you add on my own surgery recovery to that, there is this physical frustration that I'm dealing with. I want to pick up the laundry, I want to clean the kitchen, but my body says no. And sometimes instead of listening to my body with kindness, my brain starts bullying me, kind of like it tries to control the situation by making me feel guilty about the things I
physically cannot do or change right now. Oh and then there's the construction. The construction, the noise, and the mess of it all. It puts a strain on everything, including my relationship. When you're living in a construction zone, it's like your nervous system is constantly on high alert. If you are in a season where you feel like your best just isn't good enough, it's not cutting it. I want you to take a breath with me. Actually, let's just do that right now. Doesn't that sound good? Okay,
let's take it in for four. Hold it for four and let it out for eight. Hold it for four and let it out for eight. Ah. That's a good way to address the bully in our heads. But how do we change it? For me? It starts with interruption. You know, when I'm sitting there and I'm looking at the piles of stuff that needs to be handled, those those thoughts pop up, you know the ones, the ones that say, you're so far behind on everything, You're never going to get it all done. You're going to lose
your business. The construction is stalled, just like you. You're not taking good enough care of Mimi. But you know what, I have to interrupt myself. I have to literally say out loud, stop. And then I force myself to pivot. And instead of you're not a good enough caregiver, I try to say, you know what, my body is busy healing right now, and when I'm back on my feet, you'll be able to take even better care of Mimi.
And instead of my house is a disaster with all these stacks of things to do, I say, Okay, calm down right now. This house is for healing, and healing is messy. So it's about moving from judging myself to
simply observing the situation. When I'm stressed about not exercising or not seeing my friends, I have to remind myself that I am choosing to prioritize caregiving and recovery right now, that right there, it's and I choose me choice because I am choosing the person I want to be in this moment, a daughter who is there, a woman who
is honoring her body's need for rest. And since I can't hit the trail for a hike or do a heavy workout right now, I've had to really redefine what self care looks like for me in a physical way. It's been pulled back down to the basics. I'm talking deep breathing and stretching. That is it. It sounds so simple. I know it's almost too simple. But when the construction is loud and the house is messy, I find five minutes and I sit and I just breathe, big belly breaths.
Sometimes I do the FOURG in four hold eight out count and I stretch my arms up, I move my neck and I'm telling you it's a form of prayer or meditation. It's telling my nervous system we are safe. We are okay. It's the only exercise I can do right now, and it's actually the most important exercise I've ever done, because it's the work of staying in my body when my mind wants to run rampant, and I want to be clear, I still feel overwhelmed. I'm allowing
myself to feel that in a very personal way. I cry, sometimes, they get frustrated. I think it's important to let those feelings have their moment. If you try to push those overwhelmed feelings under the rug, you're just gonna trip on it later. Here's the key. When I'm feeling overwhelmed, I don't let myself get lost in it. I'm keeping my eyes on the horizon. We are in twenty twenty six right now. There is a whole year ahead. This surgery will heal, Mimi will be cared for. The construction will
eventually end. I hope, I hope, I hope, and the dust will be cleaned. You know, my intention isn't on the mess at my feet. It's on the path I'm building. I'm choosing to believe that this moment and all it's chaos, is just the foundation for something stronger. So if you're struggling with your inner voice today, try this one thing. Try speaking to yourself like you would speak to your best friend, and you would never tell her that she's failing because she had surgery and is taking care of
her mom. You would tell her she is a warrior. So tell yourself that today you're a warrior. I am a warrior. We're doing this together. I choose me today, and I hope you do too. I love you, guys,