You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garland. Hey, everybody, welcome to I Choose Me With yours. Truly, I was thinking, it's been a minute since we've done a Jenny's Journal, so I feel like I want to share with you something relatively big that happened in my life. And I don't know, I just feel like sharing with you. So here's a little something from Jenny's Journals. June sixth, twenty five. Oh my god, today was it? Fiona, my baby bird?
She graduated high school? And Yeah, I'm out here on the porch writing this, enjoying the night air, sitting down for the first time today, and it's just hitting me all over again. Sitting there this morning on the metal bench in the hot sun with her sisters and Dave, her uncle Peter, and Lily. I can honestly say we
were one big, very happy family in that moment. It wasn't lost on me that all the hard work our family has done to stay united had culminated into this highly anticipated and pivotal moment in all of our lives. Watching her walk across that stage, and yes, being that family that yells out and pops off confetti Cannons, basically making a spectacle of themselves to show her how proud
we are of her. In that moment she walked up to receive her Diplumber, her hand stretch out to shake the Dean's hand, it felt somehow like my entire mom life just slash before my eyes, and I could feel this sort of triumphant moment of not just our family but her. All the crazy ups and the gut wrenching downs that are high school, but mostly just this totally overwhelming feeling of awe for her and joy for me, such relief she made it. Her experience wasn't a cakewalk. Yes,
we are privileged. Did she ask for it? No? But however you want to look at it, she was lucky to be born into the situation she was. Others have had much harder times, for sure, and her experience is hers, So I will let her speak about it. I'll just say for me as a mom, her high school years have been really hard to watch, really hard on me. And it's been almost even harder to not jump in and fix it, fix it all. It's so so hard
to watch your kid hurt. She literally had to fight against the dumbest stereotype ever, being called dumb just because she looks a certain way, mean kids labeled her too emotional. That one really got to me. I've had it said about me and it's just a straight up attempt to belittle a person. But Fiona feels things beautifully and deeply, and I think that's actually one of her greatest strengths.
She was trying to figure it all out, but there were so many texts over the four years from her needing support or wanting to be anywhere but there, Please email the attendants I need to leave, you know those kind of texts. Do I think she was bullied? Yeah? I do. Some kids think it's fun to hurt other people. I don't understand it, but I do recognize it. You just want to scoop up your kid and literally shield them from every single crappy word. And it wasn't just
the mean kid stuff. It was the quiet stuff too. Some teachers were just total angels. She would tell me stories from classroom discussion she had had with some of them, and she just would light up whenever she talked about some they actually saw her, you know, saw past her appearance and the teen drama to the genuinely curious, caring and intelligent girl she is. They nurtured her spirit, but then there were others who just didn't. They just completely
missed her. And when someone in authority just doesn't see your kid, that can be just as damaging as any mean girl or bully. They can make them feel invisible or maybe unworthy, and that's a tough, tough feeling for any kid to carry around. There was also a toxic relationship. I'll let her share that if she wants to, but
it affected basically all four years of her experience. My heart literally ached watching her go through it, trying to figure out those insane feelings, the confusion, the constant ups and downs. There were so many times and I just won't to jump in and yell at her or give him a piece of my mind. Sorry, that kind of
sounds like my grandma. But to see her finally break free and start putting herself back together after all that, honestly, it was like watching the most glorious sunrise ever with such a relief, and it reinforced to me just how incredibly strong she is. I guess beyond being just a proud mom, I have learned along the way too. All this reminded me how important it is to really listen to my kids. It made me wonder have I done a good enough job. Sometimes the stuff they're not saying
is way more important than what they are. The complaints about school, the out of nowhere mood changes, the wanting to be alone, those are usually signals or something deeper going on, And I get it. All the absolute bullshit the kids have to deal with today and grow up subjected to, don't even get me started. I've tried to create a space where each of the girls know they
can actually tell me anything. But I know there have been times when my workload has deprived one or another of much needed mom time or wifetime for that matter. But that's a different entry for another day. So many times I've wished I could wave a magic wand and make everything better for everyone, But you have to teach them to stand up for themselves. There were definitely times when I wanted to storm the school and raise hell, but I knew I had to find that balance with Fiona.
Both Peter and Dave were always my reminders to take a deep breath and calm down, think things through. I believe things always work out, and it was quite possible. I did actually need two dads to get me through this with my feet on the ground. I was a full time life coach and therapist and cheerleader, all wrapped up in a mom costume. I tried to do my best. I'd encourage Fiona to talk to her teachers, to speak her mind, to take charge of things and claim her power.
When it came to the boy, we talk about boundaries. We talked about what she deserved and how important it was to put herself first, to choose herself. I think teaching our kids to find their own voice is one of the best things we can do for them. And as excruciating as it was to watch her go through all that those experiences, the dumb labels, the emotional roller coaster, they didn't break her, not at all. They actually built
something incredible inside her. She learned how strong she is, She learned to trust her gut, and she learned what she will and absolutely will not put up with in relationships moving forward. Those aren't easy lessons, but boy, old boy, are they important ones. I honestly envy that she received these big life lessons this young, because I didn't, and I know there will be so many more, but let's
just get through this big event today. Please. It's just part of her story now, it's not her whole story. But she did it. She pushed through, she learned, she grew into this amazing young woman. Like I've always told all the girls since we saw The Help back in twenty eleven, you is smart, You is kind, and you is important. She learned to be resilient no matter what. Yeah, she's got some scars, sure, but she's also got the wisdom and the strength that came from going through tough times.
We had a sweet family party for her. Lola, Dave and I did the prep. Luca made a fun game to celebrate her. She called it Fiona Jeopardy Soupani. My friend treated us all to such inspiring Thai food. I can't even tell you how good it was. Peter made it through the years movie of her, and there were flowers and family and dear friends. We laughed, we cried. My baby bird is officially ready to fly, and I'm just here watching her take off. My heart is so
full of gratitude it could burst. And not only am I proud of her, but I'm proud of me too, this last one has been the most challenging. But hey, let's go out with a bang, right, Mom. That's all I had to say about that. But I'm curious. Did you have a kid that graduated, You have a kid that had a tough time in high school? I don't know. Are you like me? Are you out there trying to hold everything up for everybody all the time and you're
just making it up as you go. Being a mom is the hardest, most rewarding job you will ever have, and I see you. As far as I'm concerned, all moms are superheroes. I mean, that's how I look at my mom now, which is much different than how I used to look at her. But I just want you to know that it's okay to take a moment, to choose, to allow yourself to take a deep breath and just revel in this moment of accomplishment, not just for your kid,
but for you. You did it too, You graduated from high school all over again, and I'm so proud of us.