You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Girl. Hi. Everyone, welcome to I Choose Me. This podcast is all about the choices we make, and today I am joined by Ross Matthews, someone who built his entire career on raising his hand and betting on himself. Ross has made bold choices in his personal life, trusting his instincts even when people close to him didn't fully understand them at first. Now he is happily married to an educator, and together
they've written the sweetest book, Teo and To. We'll get into how they met and why this story mattered to them. I'm so excited to be joined by my good friend Ross Matthews.
Hello.
Oh my gosh, when did we see each other last time? I think it was on the set of Drew Barrymore?
Right, I think it was it? Was it true Barrymore? Or did we do pictionary with that?
Oh my gosh, no, I think did.
I don't know.
We were on Patuonary together and both of us sucked.
No, truly terrible. But I will tell you this, I was terrible at it. But they experience every time I see you, every time I get to talk to you, and you know who I am. It's always like not weird for me. Do you understand what I mean? Like you are kind, but I still I'm still like I know who you are and you know who I am. Like it's always weird, Kase, it's a compliment I do.
I do, But it's kind of like a weird Hollywood thing, like when you I feel like when you are somebody in the public eye and you meet somebody else in the public eye, it is as if we know each other, but we don't.
Sometimes we don't. But I've known you for like a really long time school, but you didn't even know that. So, yes, that's weird.
I think we also were both on that here. Remember twenty twenty before things went buck wild with the pandemic, we were both at the Hero Dog Show. Do you remember that?
I do remember that. Yeah, I love doing the dogs rescut. My dog is right over there watch us do this, So that's always so important to Hi.
Audrey, I know her name, that's weird, but ah Audrey Awdrey, what she doing over there? Just sleep and.
She's aging gracefully and I've had her twelve years and she's like a rescue. So I don't exactly know, but she leaps, she runs, she cares, she eats, so she's happy.
What a good life you've given her.
Yeah, I wesh. She's had a lot of facial work because I won't I won't allow wrinkles in the house. But other than that, she's perfectly fine. I'm so so glad. Oh my god.
Okay, I love your origin story into the business. I mean, you've had this incredible career that you and only you made happen all on your own, all from the very beginning, just by being one hundred percent authentic to who you are. And I remember watching your stuff on jay Leno and wondering where in the world did they get this adorable man and how did they hit the jackpot like this, like you were just like you came on the screen and it was wow, he's got it.
Oh I I'll go back a little further, and thank you for saying that. I'll go back a little further. So I grew up in a little farmtown, loving pop culture, feeling like I was like a weird gay cartoon human, you know, like just like I did not fit in this little farm town. I didn't know exactly what I was, but it wasn't exactly this, and I just loved pop culture and I just had this like you know when you're young and you just like burn for things and you just you can't explain it and you need to
draw to think. So I knew I was going to be on TV, and I knew I was going to be working in talk. I just at seven years old, I pointed to Regis and told my mom, I'm going to do that, you know, Oh my god. And so I went to college. I thought, oh, what do you do? I got a degree in communication. But while I was doing that, I thought and senior year, I thought, I got I've got to like get a gig. I don't
know how to do this. So I got an unpaid internship Atlanta, which I remember driving to the interview for it, and I remember thinking, this is how it's going to start. Now. Mind you it was unpaid it, but I just knew it. I had goosebumps.
I got goosebumps.
Well you know when you know things. I just knew it. And I worked there for free, for like, I mean a whole semester, and then my last day, well a little other thing. I also am nosy, so I wanted to know. And I love television, so I wanted to know what a writer was, what a producer was, who pulled the curtain or the cord so the curtain could open? Who?
I wanted to know everything. So instead of like doing what I was supposed to do, which was like making copies and coffee, I would just go to the writers and producers and be like, can you tell me? Like just what do you do?
You know?
And one of them thought I was funny. So when a comic dropped out of covering the Ocean's eleven premiere, that writer said, you know who's funny is Ross in the Hallway?
And Ross in the Hallway? Oh my god, can you make a show called Ross in the Hallway.
It's not a bad idea, but it just was. I think it was undeniable. I look back now, people ask how did it happen? I really don't know, except that I knew that it would.
It was just destiny. Did you have like a big picture plan for the career that you wanted? Like it sounds like you knew from the very beginning, But once you got your foot in that door, what was it that you were like, this is what I want? Ultimately, and this is how I'm going to get there.
Well, it's all it sounds like you're saying, like, Okay, I want to walk, I want to go to the moon one day. It sounds as outlandish as that, but like, okay, I just knew. I was like, well, I better start preparing what you're gonna eat on the moon because it's I am no, one hundred percent certain this is happening. So when they told me, what they did is they brought me in that day to the head writer's office and said, you know, would you want to go cover
with George cliney the Ocean's eleven premiere? And I'm like, ew, would I? And so I was like yes, like yes, when now you know yeah no? And so I had like an hour before it happened to like sit by myself, and I remember thinking like this really this crazy moment of clarity, Jenny. I don't know if you have these. I think we all are lucky to have a few in our lives where I remember thinking, Okay, they're going to laugh at you at first, just get them to
left with you by the end. Because this was a different time in television like Will and Grace, maybe had been on a couple episodes. Ellen had just come out and been put away.
You know.
It was the year was two thousand and it was two thousand in one. Yeah, it was two thousand and one December six thousand and one, and I just just thought, like, Okay, they're not ready for this, but just get them, get them with you by the end, and you have like a six minute segment on Leto's what I had, So I had six minutes to earn earn it, and it was like that for the first few years. That was
my goal. And I did that show for fourteen years, and I remember every time going out there reminding myself they're going to laugh at you at first, get them to root for you by the end and laugh with you. And I did.
Oh, I love that so much.
Thanks.
I mean, that's it that you were able to tell What would you tell that guy now? That Young Ross?
In many ways, I think Young Ross had a lot more answers than current Ross stuff. You know, Like I don't know, I think when we start including logic on our plans, we sort of fall over ourselves. I think it's better to just know that you can live on the moon and not think about the oxygen. Does that make it? That's a metaphor, you And it's what I'm saying, Oh I do.
I like metaphors? Thank you.
Yeah, I don't know. I don't know that I could do it now. I think I would think about, you know, well, what are the sponsors want and what's the democratic audience.
That like, as we get older, we have all these like we understand our responsibilities so much more, and then it kind of gets in the way.
Yeah, I think, like you know that saying like you, I don't want to know how the sausage is made, Like I don't want to really know how it works. I think there's there's a lot to that because the sausage is made is kind of gross and you kind of know everything that goes into it. And now I produce TV and I've been doing this for almost twenty five years, Jenny, and like, I just think I got to just not give a crap what the sponsors thought
and just be funny. And I like, I think I'm kind of trying to get back to that a little bit. I know, it's weird. It's life is so weird, and like getting older is such a weird gift, but it is.
Can I ask you how old you are? Is that rude?
No?
I just turned forty six.
My picks for is.
But my parents died young, both of them relatively long young, and I think that there was a little gift in there for me, as painful as it was that I'm still trying to figure out, which is this understanding that there's no take to My dad was fifty nine when he died, you know, so I think about, God, I have what fourteen years left if I get to that point? So what do you want to do? And that's what I'm kind of not struggling with. That is what I'm
processing right now. So when you ask me, like, I forget how you exactly phrased it, but I'm a very different person than I was twenty five years ago in terms of my relationship with the world.
Right, absolutely, I mean I think I thought about that too when my dad passed away, for sure, Like that sense of mortality becomes such a realistic element in your life.
Yeah, And I ought to be clear, I'm not like obsessed with dying. I'm obsessed with living, right, And you want to live? I want to live? You will live? Yeah?
Yeah, Yeah, you talk about choosing yourself as a way to be a better person in your relationships in life. How did you come to know that it starts with you?
I mean, I don't think I knew that younger. I think I think my husband had a lot to do with it. And Neil meeting him like six years ago, your husband.
Who is a teacher, who is a hero.
He's so smart, so smart, and like he we go off to work and come home and like, what do you do? And I'm like, oh, like on the set today, I dress up like Dolly Parton and made chili and my nail fell off and I go, what did you do it? He'll be like, well, there was some at risk youth who we counseled through. I'm like, understood, I understand which one of us makes a real difference in the world.
That's so crazy. I love it so much.
Wild which is my dinner is so fun because we really catch up on our day and our days are so different. But it starts with me, you know. I think it's time and age that teach you use you your role in it. You know, it's about I was just talking to my brother this morning about something that happened with somebody else, and I heard myself say well, rather than just be like, well, screw with them and have that, but it was like, well, you know, they've been going through a lot, and I wonder in their
childhood if they had you know. And I think that that's the kind of stuff you get to know as you're older, Like you can trace back your own reflex in your own response to things and have empathy for others.
Right, And I think also, yeah, you start to be a little less reactive out of the gate, at least for me. That's why are you getting good at it? I'm getting better at it. I'm definitely getting better at it. I think that that's one of the things that I've really noticed about getting older is that I have that ability to give it a beat. I'll really think things through for a second and then respond instead of just firing off something which didn't really serve me very well.
So I think it's a matter of like looking at your life and saying, what has served me, well, what have I done, whether it's in my career or whether it's in my personal life, what have I done that got me the results that I wanted or made me feel authentic in living the life that I want being the person that I want, and you're able to really kind of sort of you know, itemize those things.
Yeah, what am luxury that we can do that?
Right?
You think about like I wonder if my mom ever got to have I mean, I'm sure she did, but she was so busy just kind of surviving, getting through it all. Like, isn't it great that I hope everyone Like, I don't know, I think if I had like two little kids running around stuff, when I have this time to try to be so try to get evolved, you know, like what a luxury it is. But it really is a luxury, And I'm so grateful to kind of be aging like this.
Yeah. Yeah, we're lucky for sure, But I think it gets everybody. Whether you're a busy mom running around, we all have our moments where we are reflective. I think at some point.
See, I don't think I could do it, the fact that you have kids and do all this, Like I am so simple that if I had I have a chihuah one, I'm like, it's really hard for me to find time to reflect, you know what I mean, I don't know how you do it. I look at like Drew, I see her work every day. I go to the same hours as her, and like she also has like two human beings who are growing up that she's dealing with. And I just I don't know, Like, how did you do it? How do you rise up and like do all that?
You know, there's no like rhyme or reason. There's no reason why I'm able to do it. It just when you get in a situation, you all of a sudden just get the wherewithal to make it happen, like it comes with the territory, and then you just do you just go.
I guess what's the other choice is not Yeah, I guess you just do it? Maybe I would, maybe you know what, maybe maybe we all can rise up to it. I don't know. Maybe I don't know, but I don't want to sell myself short. But I'll know, my god, no never.
I'm Kristin Davis, host of the podcast Are You a Charlotte? Most anticipated guest from season three is here the Tray to My Charlotte. Kyle McLaughlin joins me to relive all of the magical Tray in Charlotte moments. He reveals what he thinks of Trey giving Charlotte a cardboard baby.
Why would I bring her a cardboard baby? I was literally I was like, this doesn't track for me at all.
When he found out Trey's shortcomings, I'm kind of.
Excited to talking about it. You know, I think he's he's a guy spends time in Central Park. You know, he's probably don't know' be some.
Surgery stuff, you know.
And I was like, all this kind of stuff going on, and they were like, yeah, yeah, yeah, fine, and they said, but he's impotent, And I was like, he's impotent.
And why he chose not to return to it?
Just like that, They came and presented an idea, and I was like, I get I see it.
It's so kind of a one joke idea.
You don't want to miss this. Listen to Are you a Charlotte on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts?
Were there any choices I'm curious earlier in your life that maybe you were making or made that your friends and family maybe weren't sure about, or maybe they weren't supportive of. Did you have that growing up? Yeah?
I mean, I mean when I tell you that I would say what I wanted to do in my life when I was little, and it never changed. The reaction wasn't always I mean, it was funny at first, and then I remember specific like relatives who I love and I'm close to, who were just looking out for me, telling me like what are you doing get a degree in public relations? Like if you want to be in media,
what are you doing? And then even one moment I remember before my dad died, he got to see the first couple years of LENO and the beginning he asked me. I remember, like him being very cautious the way he asked me, but he said, like, do you think maybe they're making fun of you? And I remember knowing what you're saying, but I just said, like, truly, I don't give a shit, because like I want to use this they can make fun of me, but like what I was saying at the beginning, Jenny, I wanted to win.
By the end, I was convinced I could, you know, I could get them to root for me by the end, and so I told him like, I don't care if they are and if and if they are, like I'm still going to use this platform. Yeah, yeah, but it did scare me a little bit, but I still was undeterred.
But yeah, I did have people. I mean, it's a crazy thing about when you were little, like I wasn't going to be an actress, Like okay, you know, but then look what you've done, and I don't what is that inside is that we just we hear that, we understand their nerves, we understand the pragmatism in their argument, but like, okay.
Yeah, it doesn't align with what you have in mind, so yeah, just let it go. Yeah, do you think standing clear, being able to stand clear in those choices has ultimately helped you show up better and stronger and more authentic?
Now yeah, yes, yeah, I'm processing. Yes, I think in the early days I had no choice but to show up like that because I got my one and I'm going to talk about in terms of my authenticity, right being a gay person on television back then everything. But I didn't have the luxury of ever being in the closet, Like can you imagine if I if.
I was just like no, I don't mean to laugh, but no, exactly, nobody can put ross in a closet.
No, right, like baby in the corner, Ross in the closet. It's not happening. And so I never had the pressure of not talking about it. You know, people are like, oh, what, what gave you the courage to talk about Are you nuts? I would have had to like, what wear flannel and not speak for a decade this is and I'd look like quiet lesbian, it's not happening with me. I'm never passing as a street man. So that was actually a
really big gift in terms of standing by my authentic self. Yeah, no other choice.
You give such great advice, and you know, I love your social platform what you're doing with it. But what would you say to a young person out there who doesn't have that feeling of safety or security that they can do it authentically one hundred percent all the time? What would you say to them and encourage them to make independent choices.
Well, I think I would say, and I want I want this to be sort of a broad statement or broad advice to anybody who feels like maybe they are against the grain, whatever that means to you. I grew up in a little farmtown, and in my case, I was gay in a little farmtown, and I didn't see anybody else gay. I didn't see them on media. I didn't. I mean, maybe there was like a hairdresser you were like in town, like Larry or so. I don't know him,
but you know, he seemed great. But like, there wasn't anybody that I could see as a gay grown up. So I remember thinking, as a little kid, can I become a grown up? Because I, you know, grown up like a grown up guy married a woman. I knew I was going to do that, So like, what is
life then? I didn't know, right, And so what I wish I would have known then is that somewhere, maybe not outside my front living room window or my bedroom window, but somewhere in the world there would be a group of people that would not tolerate me, but like celebrate me and love me because they were they had what
I was in common. And so I think for anybody who goes against the grain, if you can just hold on to the fact that I promise you somewhere there is a community for you, somewhere, maybe not in front of your house or in your small town, but if you seek it out, there will be people just like you, people who will make you feel like you're not alone.
Did you have that within your own small town community at all? Did you have anybody that was championing for you or celebrating your uniqueness.
Yes, not in terms of like peers that were also queer, you know, but in terms of like especially women, my mother, my mom's dress friend, Bonnie teachers, especially Diana at the bank. Shout out to Diana from Criana used to give me, yes, she used to give me a little suckers when I would go in and I she had to know I was like a giant, flaming eight year old, but she loved me, you know. So it was women women who made me feel like, I mean really the shit really, like when I went into that.
And like they just lit up when you came in the room. I know the feeling because I am Diane right now. I'm like you when I see you, every time I see you, I feel like I love this man. Like there, I can't hold back thank you.
Well, it's it's almost like that what you like get energy that you feel is like what fuels me Like I would then like I felt so good going in to see Diana at the bank that then it became my mission to make Diana feel great at the bank, you know, and and like that. I don't know when that was my focus. I didn't give a crap that they were being mean to me over there, because like, Okay, you don't get it, but Diana's going to be so excited when I come in with or and fill in
the blank, you know. So it was. It was. That's why I mean, as gay as I am, I I love women. I mean I don't have sex. I don't want to touch them, I don't have sex with them, but but I want to learn from them. I want I want their I want their genius.
Yeah, that's the beauty that you know what. That's why I gravitate towards the gay community so much, because I feel like they're my best friends, like I do. There's no weirdness ever, there's just happy and support and like camaraderie. I just think that it's so interesting to hear from your perspective how much you love women, because I've been saying that all these years that I'm just dialed in when it comes to my friends that are gay, and I love them so much, I can't even take.
It, can I. I don't know if you're taking applications, Jenny Garth, but if you are looking for to add another gay friend who will love you, I.
Actually you're in.
You're hired, Audrey, I'm in. Okay.
Speaking of gay and happy, you had a post not that long ago. I'm not sure when it was that you said that it is exactly how you pictured your life as a grown up, gay, happy and in love.
That's exactly it. I know, right. It was a moment. It was this summer. I was eating at one of our favorite restaurants. You know I live. I live in New York now, which I can't believe it, but I've been here for almost six years, and we were at this restaurant we go to all the time. It was beautiful summer day and my husband Wellington, was across from me and I had a martini and Audrey Mark dog or twelve, I mean, this is really gay, was next
to us. You're on a little bag and the chair next to me, and I was wearing a hat that Drew gave me that it was like, it's Audrey on my hat. So I'm like, such levels of gay, you know, but it's exactly what I pictured. It was one of those moments in life where I was like, Okay, if it all goes away, I'm just noting it right now. Yeah, it happened, and I can. I'll always remember what this feels like.
Good. Well, let's talk about the happy end and love part of that, because, as you said before, your husband is a teacher, God bless his soul. What do you love about him?
So yeah, he's he he's a teacher forever and now he's he's like an administrator. To know, he like trains educators, he does all that. What I love about my husband is how different our life is. You know, he was he was born in the Dominican Republic. He moved here at five. I didn't speak the language. Came and was freezing. It was November. He didn't know what cold was. You know. Think about all the foreign this land, this country was
to him. And now I meet him, and he when I meet him, he has two masters, a doctorate, is you know, like an assistant superintendent. And I just meet this person who is such a force of nature, all self made, and I just remember being in awe of him. And then as I got to know him, I realized how silly he was. And I love both of those
components of him. That he's like this brilliant person who it's so different in me from me in many ways, but also I relate to how aggressive and ambitious he is, and then when he comes home, he's just a whack of do and I, I don't know. I love that he makes me laugh every day. He makes me think he can think.
I'm awe laughter, it's laughter, right, number one on the.
List, number one. The other I was just in Charleston, South Carolina, and I came home the other night and made you know. When I got home at five, I made dinner and I realized I was going to bed that we just had music on and I cooked and we didn't stop talking the whole We didn't put a TV on, but we didn't stop talking and laughing until bedtime. And that was just a normal day. But I really clocked it.
It was great. That's good. I'm so happy for you.
Thank you.
Hey.
It's Wilfred Dell and Sabrina Bryan.
From the podcast Magical Rewind and we have a very special guest on this week's episode. He's the mastermind behind some of your favorite movies like Hocus Pocus, Newsy's The Descendants, and of course High School Musical. Yes, it is the one and only a living legend. Director Kenny or Tega we.
Sit down with Kenny to talk about his incredible career and the legacy he's created with his choreography and films.
You seriously will not want to miss this one.
Listen to Magical Rewind on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hi, it's Jenny Garth, host of the I Choose Me podcast. This week, I'm so excited to welcome my friend Gabrielle carteris the Andrea Zuckerman from Beverly Hills nine o two on ZHO to the pod. We're choosing to get real.
I applied to the networks about my age and contracts.
They never would have hired me if they had known my age. We're choosing to be honest.
She looked at me, and she said, this business is about the mask, which you have neither of, and.
We're choosing to get nostalgic. Listen to I Choose Me on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I know your mom passed away. I'm not sure what year was that, twenty twenty so I heard you say in a post also that you had to mourn your mom alone, and my heart broke because I can't even imagine how isolating that must have felt, even on top of everything that was happening with the world.
But to be going through that kind of grief and loss alone in a house, alone, where you didn't have people coming.
We didn't even have a funeral because it was the height of COVID, you know, it was. It's the only way that I know to mourn my mother because it's the only It's how it happened for me. But looking back, I do feel robbed of closure maybe or what usually happened. Let's go back. What usually happens when somebody dies is the family gathers, you sit together, you cry, you talk about the person, you literally mourn, and you are held up by those who love you. That was not my experience.
And I still am. I think I'm still in the middle of it. I mean, it's going to be six years in May, and I I just didn't get that part of it.
And I don't know, like, celebrate her life, yeah, in a community set, you know, or mark her existence almost, you know, like yes, and I and.
I don't know. I'm still figuring it out how I feel about that. It wasn't my choice but I mean literally we you know, people couldn't gather. So but I don't. I don't know how.
What if you what if you did something, what if you created?
Think about it? Yeah, I think about it, but I don't know. I don't. I don't know, Jenny, I don't know if I'm scared to go pulled all that up again because I'm like, no, I mean, it wasn't put away, right, but at least it's put away that I want to like take all that laundry out and fold it again, and we might be a yeah, yah ya yaye.
That's a big choice.
Yeah, it's a big choice, but it might be the best choice. So I'm on that fence. I have those same thoughts.
Yeah, only you'll know, yeah, and then the answer is whatever it is, because we all grieve differently, obviously, But I just I wanted to go back and be able to support you during that time. You know, just send you loving energy, and I just can't imagine how hard that must have been. You're so strong, thank you.
You know, it was such a shitty time for everybody, remember that. Oh god, I know it was pretty bad. Yeah, but it did bring me here, I have to say, I think if I I think maybe in those moments that's when I also decided to move to New York.
Is because I met I met Wellie January. To my head when January twenty twenty, Mom pissed away in March or so I may, when the world was shut down, oh man, and then I you know, I came to visit Wellington in New York in October of twenty twenty, and that's when I popped in for Drew for a day and then just stayed here and decided to move. I don't know that I would have like put a saddle on life and ridden it, you know, to write it like I did, if if I hadn't been broken
from the death of my mother like that. You know, I think in a way she maybe orchestrated it from beyond or something.
I mean, you do feel that way? I feel that way?
You do?
Or are you?
Like?
I feel like her passing or someone's passing always leads to some sort of divine guidance at the around the corner if you're open to it. And I think that's the hardest part when you're in grief and you're you're struggling so much. But then when you are open to feeling them and be you know, being led by them on a spiritual level. Magical things seemed to open up.
Yeah, and again getting rid of logic, right, I feel like, remember how we talked about when you add logic and then you kind of wouldn't make the same decisions. But I think I was so heartbroken that logic was out the window and I was just operating by gut, which is kind of I think when the best stuff happens. Yeah, yeah, truly.
Okay, so you and your husband wrote a book together.
We could tell me.
Where is it? When did happen?
So we were at our wedding. I remember our wedding day Wellington. So it was so beautiful. We got married blocks from where we met in Portavarta. It was the first thing out of COVID. It was like twenty twenty two. So people were like I remember looking at them, be like I haven't left the house in years, and here I am, and for it was great. I mean I think six people got COVID at the wedding, but whatever,
it still was worth it. But so wedding comes to me and his nephews, who are of course my nephew's now but his sister's kids were our ring bearers, and he said, I saw the cutest thing. Remind me to tell you later. He told me this on our wedding day, and the next day he told me I saw them with their father rehearsing how to like walk in unison and he's like, it didn't occur to me that they
would be so nervous to do it. And we started talking about how cute that was that they wanted were that they were nervous, and I was like, they're nervous is my wedding day? Why are you? I was making a joke. But when we asked her they were nervous, they said, well, we just wanted to show up for you guys, you know, And we thought, oh god. Wellington the educator thought there is such a lesson in that about no matter who you are, showing up to your family matters, right. We all want to do that. So
we decided to write this book. I'm a storyteller by nature, he's an educator, and so we used this book, this story with those things. Drew our Drew was our actual flower girl at our wedding, so we made her a little girl in the book because it would be weird to have like a movie star directly, a little weird. Yeah, and it was. So the book just was so cute and I'm so happy because we're right. We just wrote a second book in the series, and that'll be coming out soon too.
What's that one going to be called?
It's a Teo and Teo story. So we follow the boys and our relationship. But we like we realized is you know, when we had this idea, we did a lot of research in terms of books about two uncles for kids, you know, in terms of just like that special relationship, and it's it's a niche, I understand, but it is valuable, and there weren't a lot of them. So we just thought, well, let's tell our story. I love that write what you know right exactly. It's the
publishers were like, where's the second book. I was like, well, something has to happen. I can't make up a scenario. This has to be based in real life. So as soon as like something happened, I thought, oh, there is a story we're telling. We wrote it so good.
You clearly love working on the Drew Barrymore Show because I mean, you have a heartbeat that's such a dream job for you, so perfect. I can't even a show that you're now a producer on. Yeah, can you tell me how that happened?
Well, I, uh, well, the show is great. You've been at the show. We love when you come on the show. There's a special vibe there. It comes from Drew. We're in season six. It is the best. I love producing in general, even on The Tonight Show. You know, I was there for a few years before and then I became a creative consultant was my title. But I was really producing all my sons with it, and I learned. I mean, I went to boot camp with the best. These are people that work on The Tonight Show are
the top of the game, right seasoned? Yeah, And I learned from them so much. And so I've been producing really my whole career. I produced Drag Race. I produce this show now other things I love. I think TV is like a rhythm. It's almost like music. You know, you watch it and you're like, if you're watching rehearsal, okay, that's wrong, that note is off. We got to fix like the cadence of it. It's not working. And I love going to rehearsal. I sit down there. There'll be
like a stand in for me sometimes. I just I need to see it sometimes and then I pop in and you can just iron out and make it smooth and help tell the story in a more balanced, smooth way. I love that part of producing. I'm not great at like, let's find three experts and track them down in ninety seven emails. I'm not that kind of producer. Well it could be, but it's a different.
Kind of producer.
You're creative, yes, yes, And I love finding people who that I'm obsessed with, who I think people will relate to. There's this woman on TikTok who goes thrifting and she's an antique expert, and she'll tell you about what to look for, like this is this kind of Crystal is cut, this kind of Crystal's handmade. I'm obsessed, doctor Lori. We're getting her on the show. So like finding people who I think have something to say. I love that part
of producing. But it's about a love affair with television. I just I love editing. I edit all my own stuff. I love not on television, but all my like when I'm on my social media, I edit all that stuff. It's it's a puzzle piece. Media is I just I've always loved it since a little you know me? Hello, you know better than me? Are you doing it for sol? How long?
Now? Oh god, don't do that.
I don't understand it.
A long time since I was seventeen.
But I mean, you know, so we know what we're doing, and we've been around people who do it better than anybody. And if you pay a lunchin around great people, you become much better.
I know that's the way to go. Go to somebody who's his nose more than you, who's had more success than you, and just watch and learn. I mean, just hearing all of that makes me really have a you know, I know, but like I still have even a more appreciation for how hard you have worked to get where you are and how far you have come.
Thank you.
Congratulations by the way, on the show getting three Daytime Emmy Awards this year.
I know, I know our her and makeup team, our directing team and Drew herself, Oh my god.
So deserved.
And what does it feel like it feels? I know it feels well, there's a few fee one. I'm so proud of the people I work with. They're so good at what they do, to see them be recognized and
you know, to dominate. It's the job is great recognition, the nomination, and then to win, right but selfishly, the Ross Matthews experience was going to the Daytime Emmys and walking it and thinking about being in Mount Vernon watching Rosie cry when she won her first or watching Oprah, or watching Susan Lucci and Jenny When I'm tell you, I would sit and watch them and be like, oh God, when I get to go there, I know I'm gonna wear a white tuxiedo because I love that look and
I know, I mean when I was in like a kid, and so to go there it was just confirmation. It was like I wished I could have. I thought about Little Ross and I wish I could show him, but I know what he would say if I could go back, like in the time machine and say look and he Little Ross would go, I know.
Yeah, duh, here we are.
I know. This was my plan and it was great and I felt like I didn't feel like an imposter, you know, because sometimes we do. I felt like I earned my ticket in a way like I felt like I you did. Yeah, I felt like this is what I do because a lot of times in life you feel like, what am I doing here? Shut up? Just act like you belong right, blended, yeah, Blendon, this one I felt like, Okay, yeah, girl, you earned your ticket, so enjoy it. Enjoy the show.
Feeling for you.
Yeah, it's good, And I enjoyed the show. I didn't go to the bathroom once it was three and a half hours. I used in the front and I just yeah, that face, just stupid happy.
Oh that's so exciting. I love this for you. Do you find yourself talking to little Drew to little drewid listen? Do you find yourself talking to little Ross a lot?
Yeah, more about asking questions and talking to him like I think about like, like, how would you do it if you didn't know what to do? I think about that a lot, Like the conversation a little bit earlier. I think I turned to him for answers more than to give him answers. I love to I just feel like I knew more when I was little. I didn't let the life get in the way of making decisions. It was more gut.
Well that your gut has worked for you. Thanks. It seems as if I want to ask you I know your your schedules really crazy. That daily talk show schedule is very grueling, especially as you're producing it. What do you do to create peace? Like inner Piece, any tips you could share on finding those pockets of peaceful moments or even moments of self care.
I think for peace moments for me, or going to gratitude with the perspective we talked about, you know, like, and I don't know if it's part of aging or what, but I really do go there even when I'm frustrated or something like I'll just try to just God, this sounds so cheesy, it's really I get it. I hear it, like, go to gratitude sounds so dumb, Like it's like it's on a sign, a go to gratitude, right, I hear my Though I don't want to speak in home good
sign lingo, but I really do feel like that. I think I feel it centers me, it brings me to somewhere, or like I can be really annoyed by something at like something what happened that's just unfair coming, and I'll just be like okay, okay, okay. Because the flip side of this ross is there's no job. The flip side is you're working still at Lane Bryant, which was a great job just but like in high school at the mall, like you know, like there are ye.
I love it that you've worked at Lane Bryant. Hold on, Oh my god, my people, hello, I love wow wow.
But I even like in my life, even a bad day of work is like the fact that I have a badge that gets me through those doors is a win, you know.
So you go back to gratitude. Yeah, it works every time.
I think it does. I think it's a cliche for a reason, but it really does. Really.
Yeah, it seems so silly.
With perspective, though, I think perspective is an ingredient that gratitude needs because like I'm grateful to be alive. Okay, thanks, thank you, next, right, but like I'm grateful because of this reason because it could be this. It's helpful for me.
In a world though that as ours right now, that feels wildly out of control. How do you choose gratitude?
Like, well, you better choose it quick because if the world is out of control, who knows what we have left. So if you're going to choose gratitude, I would do it.
Like maybe today oh yeah, right now, because wait till tomorrow, which you have. Either you can live in anger and resentment and unhappiness, or you can just live in gratitude. It sounds a lot simpler.
Well, it is a choice. I understand we're wired certain ways and people are wired in different ways. In my wiring, it is it's always faster, short, or quicker, more efficient to go to gratitude as soon as possible.
Absolutely. Oh my gosh. You wrote a very funny book called name Drop The Really Good Celebrity Stories. I usually only tell it a happy hour, so that's a good title.
Thank you.
So I was thinking in honor of that, we would play a little name Drop game for a fun holiday bonus that will drop later this week, so I don't miss that. But I'm just so thrilled at all of your success and I'm just so grateful for you joining me today, my old friend.
I'm so happy. Listen, I and we and we are friends, you know, I really, I really do mean that. But I I'll love you for so long and I'm not nervous around you anymore. But I do have to say at first I wasn't, but I love that we are here, So thank you. I love our Yes, I love our evolution. Okay, before I let you go, Ross Matthews, what was your last I.
Choose me moment?
I really think it. I don't know it's my last one, but my last big one I hinted earlier I talked briefly about. But it was about coming to New York. It was about feeling something and following it, even though
it was super scary. I think, you know what a luxury was that I could do that, that I could but and it was almost selfish in a way, you know, like I'm going to go move across the country now and okay, and I had to do it in a way where my brother come watch the dogs for a few months, and that we had to move things around to make it happen.
Other people had to help.
And it was only so I could go do something, you know, that I could go follow this person who I was falling in love with and go show up at the show. That there was an opportunity. It was just for me, and so many people moved things to make it happen. But I think about what if I hadn't been selfish in that time?
Do you think it was selfish?
Though?
I don't think so thought it was until you just asked me that, because it was all about me. It was like, I want this, I'm going to do this. It's going to be uncomfortable for some people, and I'm gonna have to ask favors from some people and so I can go get this. So in a way, yeah, it was. But I think it would have been into service not to yes.
And I don't think that the people you asked things of would see it as you being selfish. Honestly, I would think that your brother would be like, look what he's done, and if he hadn't done that, who knows what would have happened in his life.
Well, I love that perspective, you know. Wellington tells me that too. I always think I'm annoying or in the way of people, and he's like, some people want to show up for you. Some people like doing things.
You know, a lot of people want to show up for you, Ross because you're a good human.
Well, Jen Garreth, can I go what time tomorrow? Let's do this again?
Thank you so much, Thank you, I love you.
I love you.