You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Girl. You're listening to I Choose Me, the podcast where extraordinary people remind us what's possible. I had the honor of bringing some of those wise voices to the stage for my second annual I Choose Me Live Empowerment Summit. I'm so excited I get to share these conversations with you.
Now.
My friend Collina Estrino sat down backstage with brain health pioneer doctor Daniel Amen, beloved actress and advocate Gabrielle Carteris, and the incredibly talented Val Schmerkovsky. I would also like to thank our signature sponsors for the event, Capitol Group and Nella Speck.
We are backstage at the I Choose Me Live Women's Summit, and joining me right now is doctor Daniel Amen. Thank you so much for being here.
Thank you so much for having me.
So this is a really important event for a lot of people, and they're so excited to be here talking about empowerment, talking about choosing themselves and really navigating properly. For you specifically though, today, since we're here to talk about choosing ourselves, what are some simple things that we can choose to do daily to keep our brain active.
Well, I mean the first thing is to think about it.
Yeah, like very cool.
People think about it.
Nineteen ninety one. I'm a double board certified psychiatrist. I was a top neuroscience student in medical school. I didn't care about my brain at all because I'd never seen it. And when I started our brain imaging work, I scanned my mom, who was sixty at the time, stunningly beautiful. Then I scanned mine and it wasn't great because I played football in high school and I had meningitis when I was a young soldier, and I had bad habits,
like I was only sleeping four hours and night. I was chubby and overweight, and I just had never cared until I saw it, and then I'm like, oh no, this has to be better. So I developed a term I like called brain envy. I always say Freud was wrong. Penis envy is not the cause of anybody's problem. I've not seen it once in forty five years. The only
organ where size really does matter is your brain. And so the first thing people can do is love their brain, because if you love your brain, you love your life. The brain controls everything you do, how you think, how you feel, how you act, how you get along with other people. It's the organ that manages your money, that manages your marriage, that manages your children, that manages happiness.
And if it's not healthy, you're not healthy. And so the one thing I'm working on a National Brain Health Revolution initiative. I'm very excited about this. It's based on one question, is what you're doing now me talking to you good for your brain or bad for it? And
does it make the world a better place? And if you can answer that one question with good information, and quite frankly, most seven year olds know things that are good for your brain are bad for it, you just transform your life in such a powerful, wonderful way.
I can't wait for that. That seems like that's going to be a great When is that happening? You're working at a rush end of this year? Thought, oh my god, Oh you can do a tour or is it going to be one?
Wow?
I cannot wait. Keep me updated on that. If someone says, doctor amen, I have a very busy life. I try to sleep at night, my mind is racing. It takes me forever to fall asleep. What would you suggest for them? To try to help them navigate around that.
Don't take your phone to bed. It's really important because what the blue light from your phone does is it turns off the production of melatonin, and then you're just wide away and then become disciplined. Like I do the same thing every night. When I go to bed, I say a prayer and then I go what went well today?
And the bad stuff shows up, but I sweep it away, like have this big black room sweeps it away, and I go hour by hour throughout my day on what I loved about the day, even the little tiniest things, holding my wife's hand, having eye contact, texting, or something funny throughout the day. So many awesome things happen to us, but our minds don't focus on them, and then we get upset. And most of my patients, if they do this just for three weeks, they have an increased level
of happiness. And I suggest you do it for the rest of your life. When my dad died during the pandemic, the worst day of my adult life, when I went to bed that night, I went what went well to and then the supervising voice, you know, sort of the critic goes seriously we're going to do this tonight. But
because it was my habit, I did it. And I remembered something funny my mom said to the police officer and all the people who texted me because they loved me and my dad and just holding his hand which was so soft before the mortuary took him away.
And then I went to sleep.
And it didn't mean I didn't love him, didn't mean I wasn't grieving, but it meant I was managing my mind rather than let my mind manage me.
So when you suggest to kind of write things down, look back, focus on the positive, can you walk us through what that does to your brain and how that in a three weeks time makes such a big difference in your day to day life.
So it actually turns off the an area of the brain called the default mode network. So if you just let your mind want you just like lay in bed and try to go to sleep, the critic part of your brain, it's called the default mode network, just starts picking on you, noticing what's wrong. It's part of the brain involved in error detection. What do you don't like about your husband, what do you don't like about yourself?
What do you don't like about work, what do you don't like and by focusing on what you love, it actually turns it off a little bit like psilocybin, but without any of the side effects. And developing this practice, and the first time people go I can't do it, it's like sort of like the first time you shot a free throw, you were terrible at it. You just have to keep doing it, and the more you do it,
the easier it becomes. And when you do it at night, it sets your dreams up to be more positive and you're more likely to have better sleep, which means tomorrow is going to be better. If you want a better memory tomorrow, do this exercise and sleep well tonight.
I do feel like Los Angeles in general has this very hustle culture. Right You're working constantly, You're working sixteen hour days, NonStop, possibly even longer. What do you want to say to them, because my assumption is, and maybe it's a bad assumption, there's not a lot of sleep going on in the entertainment industry. With people's schedules and lifestyles and things that they have to do, things that they're obligated to do. What do you want them to
know about brain health? About making sure they take care of themselves.
Yeah, if you.
Don't sleep, So when you sleep, your brain cleans and washes itself, So your brain has this cleaning mechanism that actually doesn't turn on until you sleep. So if you're not getting six and a half to nine hours of sleep at night, sort of trash builds up and it's going to be a lot harder for you to be effective in your job. So, as busy as I am, it's a priority for me.
What do you say when it comes to napping. Is napping considered still part of that long you know, getting that six to eight hours of sleep or is that not good?
Yeah, just think of it in a twenty four hour period. You want to target six and a half to nine hours.
That was a personal question for me.
I'm a napper. Okay, last question for you, how because I know you help so many people with your advice and your expertise, and I mean everything that you just said today is so so helpful, But you personally, how do you choose yourself on a daily basis? What do you do to make sure you are happy? You stay empowered, That I have the right habits and I only love food.
That loves me back because you're in a relationship with food. And I don't know if you've ever been in a bad relationship, but all the time I have, and I'm not doing that anymore. I'm like married to my best friend and I'm damn sure not doing it with food. And so people go, I love pizza, but it's bad for you. I love ice cream, Yeah, it makes you fat and sad and feeble minded. No, and so oh it's like, oh, don't you have any fun? And I'm like, well, who has more fun? The person with the good brain
and the person with the bad brain. And so I choose me by choosing things that.
Love me back.
That's perfect.
Thank you. I'm Kallena Astrino's and we are backstage right now with Gabrielle Carteris. Thank you so much for being here.
Thank you.
So let's talk about choosing yourself. This is really important to do on a day to day basis. So with all of us, I know, what are some ways that you make sure, you know you're busy, that you choose yourself on a day to day basis.
You know, it's a practice, right, So for me at getting up early before everybody else is really important to have just quiet time. I take walks, I do a lot of yoga and a breathing for me. Breathing, I'm telling you, before doing anything, even coming here, I had to go breathe, Gabrielle, just be here, and I think, so those are the things I do to help myself be in the moment of my life.
Can we talk about yoga really fast, because there are so many there's so much research out there about the benefits to yoga, but I feel like when people see the poses, they get nervous and they don't want to go. Can you just let people know what it's really like in those yoga rooms and how there's so many different levels for people.
I've been doing yoga now for almost thirty three years, thirty four years. Yes, there is so many different types of yoga. First of all, yoga is great, and people need to have good teachers because you can hurt yourself. I really yoga, but yoga is Yoga is not the poses. Yoga is really about breathing. Yoga is teaching you how to be able to breathe even outside. What you do outside of the room, what we do in the room, is to help us in life. So there are different
kinds in terms of levels of yoga. There's hatha yoga, there's yen yoga, which are more like that's a more I don't want to say it's not passive, because it's a more RESTful, easier, not as hard. Hata is all about the breath. You have vinyasa yoga, which can be more about strength. It's about flow, but all of the movements again, it's not about that. It really is about breathing. And I would say to everybody, you know, as we get older, particularly you know, when we don't move orf
we're tight. That means blood's not flowing because our muscles are tight. When you stretch right and you're really releasing your your blood is flowing. And if your blood is flowing, you're going to get through your body. You're going to heal better, you're going to be healthier, you're going to feel better, your mind is going to be clear. So there's a real it's meditative. It can be. It can be you can have a very aggressive yoga class where you it's very athletic, but it's really all those are
just things that you do. It's about breathing, and everybody can do it. And I think it's one of the best. I mean, for me, it is my saving grace. I even have an injury. I have a torn meniscus, and so I choose to do different kinds of yoga right now while I'm healing, so that I can still be in it.
I feel like that yoga hearing you speak so passionate about it, and you mentioned it's the way you choose yourself. It also offers you that empowerment aspect, that voice, that something that you can turn to, that you know you can always count on to make you feel good. Can you talk about that a little bit?
You know, it's so funny. I go and I do yoga. Sometimes I don't want to go, so I all use it in the respective yoga. I don't always want to go and do it because I don't want to get dressed to go whatever, And I go, and then when I'm in the yoga, what makes me feel good is AI arrived. So sometimes life is feeling good is sometimes just arriving even when you didn't want to leave, right it's just kind of getting there. So that makes me feel good. I think that when I'm in the yoga
and I'm really starting to breathe. I get out of my talking monkey brain and I start settling in my body and I start to breathe and I'm in the moment. And then at the end, I swear to God. And this is true for me for yoga. Every time I'm like, I am a hero, I am a champion, I am a true that is when I because I did it despite whatever considerations I had. I showed up and I
did my best. And in the end, I feel good and I as long as I've been doing it, so like thirty three years, right whatever, I still forget that until I finally finish and I'm like, that's what I wanted to do. That is exactly where I needed to be. So yoga that's where I find my worry your self, and that's when I don't know if that was the cold question you asked, but that's kind of like where I go with it.
I mean, I agree with you. I feel like I'm not as advanced as you are by any means, but even just going to those classes and just taking the time out for yourself because life is so busy, and I mentioned this earlier in one of the other interviews. Our industry is so much of a hustle culture where you it's hard sometimes to make sure that you take yourself out of that. So I think it's always good to have.
Well, you're not the industry else, right, Like it reminds you about who you really are, absolutely, because you have so many things you have to Like you're interviewing me and Neil, you have to be on point. You have to you know you're coming in here. You want to have a certain way you look, the certain way you have to act, and it's exhausting. At the end of the day. You want to be with.
You, Yes, And I'm glad to be here with you.
I'm glad to be with you. Thank you.
Let's talk about Jenny taking the iconic line from the TV show that you guys were both on I know, Tuan ol hello and make it into this mantra. Did you ever think that all those years ago it would turn into what we're saying today with this huge event and just this huge, this outpouring of support and respect from women and men.
Well, first of all, I just want to say, I choose me as just It's a phrase, so that's I never thought about ever, never connected whatever for me when I am really amazed with is Jenny. It is talk about somebody who is truly really blossom into her humanity, and who she is as a woman, is as a human being is tremendous. She really I have such deep respect for her. So if that's where she found her flame, you know, I think her flame came from many different things,
and that was the anchor that she talks about. But what I can say is I never imagined that in our lives we would be here today at this time, and that I would be seeing Jenny as the woman that she is right now. And it's beautiful to see that she's making a difference for herself and for others that she cares. And I think that people receiving her and all that we are in a time of great strife in this world and we need to feel connected and lifted up, and so for what she's doing is
tremendously important. I think now more than ever, I.
Feel like both of you grew up in the public eye. When you look back at your time on the show together, on look back at your friendship then till now, is there anything that you would say to her younger self or your younger self to help navigate all of.
That to help navigate the celebrity of it all.
The celebrity that also, I mean, you guys were everywhere, so yeah, you know what, it's so weird.
I was thinking about this the other day. You know, I have only known my adult life like this, and Jenny start even younger than me, but our whole lives have been this is the only thing we've ever known. So I think that if I were to say anything to my younger self or to Jenny's younger self, it's the thing I would say to anybody when they're young. It's all going to be good. It's okay. Just keep on, keep being honest tree to yourself, and life will happen
and it'll be unexpected, and know that it's okay. That's just what it is. But this has just been our truth. But everybody's truth is you know what I mean. I don't know any other truth. I really don't.
Well, in your adult life, I've seen so many things that you've done with helping people in the industry, making sure you have a voice for the voiceless. Moving forward ten fifteen years from now, where do you see yourself in those avenues? And also where do you hope to see Jenny when it comes to I Choose Me and all of the outreach that she's doing to help with women empowerment.
I just hope she's happy. I think that you know, she's going to keep. Clearly, Jenny is really energized. She's a hard worker, she's very focused. So I imagine it will become I Choose Me empire. I mean, I think she's going to do great where I'll be. You know what, I don't know where I'll be. I am. I'll say this. I think I'm sixty five now, so I'll say I don't think it ever stops that seeking who you are
and what's going on. I Choose Me moment is reinvented constantly through our lives, and so I'm choosing me right now. I really am, and I'm really I'm taking time to be with my children and my husband and my friend and myself, and I don't know where I'll be. I'm a president right now with the International Federation of Actors, so I know I have four more years of service for performers still, but I think my whole life will be still about service. I don't know where I'll be.
I hope that I am a part of the empire with Jenny, I choose me life, and but for myself, I hope I'm a part of my my I am the storm. There was a whole thing I said I had. I don't know if you heard it, but you probably didn't because we were just doing I have a tattoo and it says, I am the storm, and it comes from Fate whispers to the warrior, you cannot withstand the storm, and the warrior whispers back, I am the storm, and so I am the storm. Is what I have on
my arm. And I hope to be fifteen years from now a fierce storm continue to be I do. I hope, and I hope that for another thirty years, and me give myself like thirty more years and then I think, you know, we'll see I think it's.
Going to happen. Actually, I know it's going to happen. I believe it's going to happen.
I believe there. I believe in you.
Yes, thank you so much. You're amazing. I'm Cleean u Estrainas and we are backstage right now the Women's Empowerment Summit for us. I choose me, and we have vowed Chermyskovsky, Did I say it right? I'm going to really get mad.
It's good, hold on, it's probably it's not your fault.
Can you say for me?
No?
No, Noamerkovski, Chamarkovsky beautiful, Okay, Chamarkovski Okay, three two one. I'm Kalina Astrinos. We're here at the Women's Empowerment Summit for I choose me and I have vowed Trimerskovsky. Did I do it again? It's okay, tell me, now do it one more time?
Do I practice this for hour?
Chamr cough CoV Chamarakovski.
It's like Tchaikovsky, but Tamarkovski.
We have vowed. Tamarikovski here with us right now? What's up? They're going to edit that together for me. Thank you for being so cool about that. My name is tough too, so I always try to, like, what is get it right, Kleina Astrinos, But it looks like a youok.
Like first one first take?
Okay, Wow, anyway, let's talk about you, shall we? How we cannot we can't be as perfect as you? How are you? Because you were recently in the hospital for her to go?
I was, I mean, that's not crazy news. But but thank you for mentioning that. I yes, I'm on tour, first of all, just to give it some context. It's not just because I'm just turned forty. I am on tour, uh And it was like a situation and just perfect storm. I sleep on the back of the bus with my
son and gets a little shaky on the road. So I guess I don't want to get too much into it, but one of my little equilibrium stones crystals they call them, yep, kind of escaped the pouch and what happens is then you have vertigo.
And so.
Basically I had to do this maneuver to get it back into the pouch and then it kind of put everything back into the you know, into places.
Yeah. Again, it was scary because I'm in the middle of tour.
I you know, I'm constantly obviously I'm on stage, dancing, turning, jumping, I'm lifting a lot of times. You know, I'm supporting my partners. So that was kind of the challenge. But thankfully, health wise, it's all good, Thank you good.
And you know what, forty is the new twenty, so don't even worry about it. So I feel I feel like Benjamin Button I mean you look like you look great.
You know, I love it.
Okay, this is audio only.
What stop?
No, everybody would agree with me if they saw you. Don't even worry about it. Let's talk about Hulu was announced with the new reality show Looking for the next Dancing with the Stars pro. Okay, you obviously have a ton of experience. So what are three things that you think every great dancer needs to know in order to succeed in the professional dance world.
Uh, well, I don't want to digress from the question. Is just Dancing with the Stars in particular is a ballroom partner dance focus show, right, And so for partner dancing is very different than when you're doing contemporary or jazz or any solo stuff. So I know there's one advice when it comes to a professional dancer pursuing the craft in general, and there's another advice for professional dancers that are pursuing a spot on Dancing with the Stars
and being a bom dancer. I think the number one thing is is to remember to be of service to your partner. And again, ballroom dance kind of champions that and I'm proud of that. And so sometimes if you have a really talented dancer who can do it all but has no experience being a partner. I think they will find it quite quite a bit challenging. So that's my advice. If you want to be on Dancing with the Stars, start taking partner dancing immediately. Secondly, I mean again,
you gotta love it. One of the things I'm proud of with the success that I've been lucky enough to have on Dancing with the Stars is that I pursued ballroom dance at a time when there was no prospect. There was no Dancing with the Stars in my future, there was no real financially lucrative career ahead of me. I was just pursuing it with blind passion, you know, and and somehow the universe aligned for me. So I'm
really proud of that. I'm proud that my parents were able to support me irrationally as well, with no end goal in mind of like I said, financial prosperity, which is something that I think a lot of people look uh when when they're looking to pursue a craft of sorts, Uh, where's you know, how am I going to make money? I didn't have those thoughts. I was just luckily or unluckily. I don't know, I was ignorant to that. I wasn't
considering that. I was just you know, I had a bank full of pride because I was doing what I love.
So I honestly that's kind of empowering, right, because you say true to yourself and the goal that you set out to accomplish.
Yeah.
Again, I have a tough time for an advice because I feel very fortunate, you know, and you know you can't replicate luck, right, I just think you know, luck is preparation meeting opportunity. So what you can do is stay optimistic and keep showing up and keep working hard. But again, unless you have a passion for the craft, you will always have.
A hard time working on it. You know.
I just loved perfecting it, and you know I wasn't too I guess preoccupied with the financial incentives behind it. So that's why I'm lucky and fortunate and so grateful and then so excited to do what I do because, like I said, my parents gave up a lot for it. I gave up a lot for it, and we did it for the right reasons, and the universe rewarded us.
Well.
You mentioned being a good partner in dance. You have a partner away from dance, right, your wife celebrated what seven years of marriage? Congratulations, that's a huge accomplishment.
Is it's like today's times, it's like years year marriage.
Let's talk about how you stay empowered, stay true to yourself, but also stay true to your marriage, stay true to each other, to make sure you both get the chance to choose you individually but also in that partnership.
Yeah.
I mean again, it took a lot of work and growth and conversation, difficult conversation, and yeah, man, I just realized, you know, I also learned through these you know, we've been married for seven years, we've been together for way more than that. You know, there's no quicker path to resentment then not choosing yourself, you know, to neglecting yourself in a partnership. You know, So, as I say, you know, I really look forward to being of service to my partner, whether it's my wife in life or.
Someone, you know, my partner in dance. You know, I'm really driven by that. I love that.
I love camaraderie, I love the unity of it. And it took me some time to realize that you need to also respect the relationship that you have with yourself and your own needs. And it's not always uh a toxic selfishness to choose yourself at times. In fact, I think it's a very responsible part of a relationship because you know, it's like that seat belt theory, right, if you got to buckle yourself up before assisting someone else.
If you're if you're.
Malnourished emotionally, spiritually, it's very little that you can offer to someone else, especially someone so close to you, like your significant others. So I just realized, yeah, like like with health, like with everything, you gotta you know, replenish your own I guess, well, spiritual well, and then and then you could, like I said, if you're a good person, you're going to use those resources to to help the people around you and to love people around you. And so that's kind of like.
What I've learned.
Love it, we've both learned. You know, I think it's it's important because you want to be loved and and and you know, be attended to. But again I think you need to be mindful of your partner and make sure that she loves herself and attends to herself as well.
We just got to rap already before you go still some more time. What's the last thing you did where.
You chose yourself this?
You know, I had a show last night in Vegas. We drove down. I have a show tonight at the Adobe Theater, and I should you know, probably tour wise, they'd want me backstage right now, you know, warming up and then thinking about the show.
But you know this is important to me.
I wanted to be in this collective of people speaking about things outside of dance.
Uh. And I chose me.
To, you know, I chose me to be here and to do that and to feed my soul so that tonight, you know, I could come out there and be the best performer.
I could be beautiful. Sorry I asked you about dance.
No, that's okay, I listen. I love dance, but again, it's like back with dance. Dance is just something that I've been lucky enough to find and use as a vehicle to excel in my life, to be of service to others, you know, kind of realize my own potential. But it isn't who I am or or you know, the only thing I love.
So yeah, thank you, Bravo.