I Choose ME during the Holidays

You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garl. Hello and Happy holidays, Happy Holidays, Welcome to I Choose Me. This podcast is all about making choices, choices that help create peace and wholeness for you and the people you love. Doesn't that sound good? This year, I have had the

That's fun day.

It's it's hard because Christmas is, especially when you've raised kids, it's a lot of work. It's a ton of work, and you're tired.

I think, I know, I can I answer this into you choose which answer you want.

Okay, okay.

I love decorating my Christmas tree and I usually do it on myself because no one wants to help me, to be honest, but.

I love it.

And so I put a Christmas movie on, which is usually White Christmas or like Miracle on thirty four Streets, something old, and I just love it, but usually White Christmas because I love the dancing in it, and I just I just decorate like by myself, no when no one else is around, and I like, I love it. This makes me really happy during the holidays. The other thing I like in that during Christmas time is I

But I don't know why.

Everyone wants to stay cozy and pjs. But I like to get like one night of a holiday Christmas y dressed, fancy cocktail night kind of thing. And I don't know. I feel like I force everyone to go to something during the holidays that they don't want to. So mama wants to get dressed up.

Oh, I think that's great, Jen hat Maker, give me one tip, one way we can choose ourselves during the holiday season.

Oh my god, do not be afraid to say no. Do not be afraid. You will not ruin everybody's Christmas. You will not ruin your Christmas. You will not ruin Christmas itself. If something comes up and it feels like too much, too long, too far, too hard, too busy, you with no equivocation, can say thank you so much for inviting me. I cannot I won't be able to make that, or I will not be able to put up a second Christmas tree this year, or I will not be able to be in that gift exchange, or

Perfect Theresa Kabudo, I'm just gonna ask you, how do you choose yourself during the craziness of Christmas.

Oh, I think it's easier now because my kids are old, so it's it's easier. But I always put a present under the tree from Santa to Teresa.

You are a smart Oh.

Yeah, I love I love gifts. I love shopping. I just I just I just love things.

Well, speaking of shopping, be sure to check out your beautiful jewelry line Divinely Guided, Finely Guided.

Yeah, I mean.

It's so special.

I mean I really just wanted to create something because Heaven and Earth really do meat at the smallest moments, and I want everyone to find that. And that's why, like even the pieces of wearing tete like this this cross that we just it's a for our QBC to kind of give people, no matter what faith they are, to give them that kind of little their little faith back.

Just a little reminder.

This is the let the light impendent.

Okay, you I got that one. That's the one you sent me. That's the light dependent.

Yeah, because in our darkest times we have to remember to let the light in. And this is when the light hits this. You can see it like it reflects it, but it also comes in and it's surrounded by on the top it says grounding strength and power to remind ourselves to ground us and that we have the strength and power to let the light in even in our darkest moment.

Oh my gosh, I gotta go put it on.

See and then I'm also wearing what my rosary beats.

Oh my gosh, that's so good. How does Evette Nicole Brown get through the chaos of the holidays woo.

By not partaking in any of it?

I answer, I've heard telling you. I don't. I don't trick or treat. I don't dress up for halle Thanksgiving.

I usually get me a.

Little smoked turkey breast from a honey baked ham, like two weeks before Thanksgiving and make my little meal. And by the time everybody else eating Thanksgiving, I've already had my turkey and sweet potatoes over and over again. And then when it comes to Christmas, you know, I don't do the family card, I don't do the year letter.

I feel repulsed by both of those things.

Yeah, I just think like I can't. I don't have it.

I don't remember what happened yesterday. Let alone tell you what happened in January and walk you through it.

And I may have a Christmas tree that's been up for two years.

Oh it's just ready.

So that song.

We need a little Christmas right this very minute, going to the family room. There's some Christmas body.

So I honestly do not. I don't deal with any of it. I don't do any of it.

Well, Merry Christmas, happening, all the things forever, we don't ever have to talk about it again.

Yeah, I don't do it.

Hard enough, I don't want it, says take it easy on yourselves people.

That's what I'm trying to tell people. Y'all better relax.

How about you enjoy the day?

How about.

All right?

Thank you so much for spending time with me. I really love seeing you.

Yes, thank you, Brooke Broke.

What is the one way that you find to separate yourself from the chaos that is the holiday season?

So hard? Holidays have always been madness around my house. I bett they're organizing the clean up. I love the family time.

It's hard.

I feel like my children are older now, so it's a little bit less is more. You remember the days of trying to do all these We still do stockings, by the way, even for my older kids. It's fun thing in our house. But letting them really, I guess, get involved and make some wishes and get the more significant thing instead of a bunch. But I don't compromise my wellness around the holidays. I find that yoga is

That work out.

That's good for the holidays. Everybody wants mama to be happy during the holidays and not straight.

It's fun. Maybe you'll join us. We do it a live stream a turkey burn, a like post turkey sodio burn Thanksgiving. So it's really I just do it from your own home. But I think fitness has to be fun, and it's fun during the holidays to do it with family, friends, love and just.

Take a walk.

Yeah yeah, just take a walk, move your body.

Family walks on my list, got it. Gabrielle Carterris. The holiday season is here.

It is upon us.

What do you do to choose yourself during the holidays to keep saying and to truly enjoy them?

The holidays are not as hard for me to get through with peace. So what I say for me enjoy whatever to get through peace. Make sure to give time to yourself. I find I am committed to it at least an hour a day, that's just myself.

What do you do?

I get up very early. I get five o'clock. Yeah, today was four thirty, but at five o'clock I have thirty I try not to go on my phone. Right sometimes I do, I go, but I go away from it. I have a cup of tea. Sometimes I stand outside just to smell the air because I think that's to

And just.

For me, I will be living in gratitude. I feel very blessed, and I will shower them all with the love that I have. And I love this time of year.

You're a big entertainer. You must be excited.

It's gonna be great. I'll have tons of parties on everybody for dinner. I just love it. I love cooking for everybody. I don't even have to talk. I can just like listen to them talk. It makes me very happy. It's my my happy place. You're such a giver, very lucky. What will you be doing. I get up.

Earlier now so I have that buff buffer, so that I know I have time to not look at my phone. Nobody's awake yet, I don't have to deal with anything.

That's right.

It's quiet, it's quiet. I usually do a little. I learned this from Brook Burk. Do a little red mask therapy while I'm meditating in the morning, while I'm thinking of the things I'm grateful for.

Great.

Then from there great kind of hit the ground running.

And the busier you get, the more you have to take time for yourself. Yes, that's great, Jen, because you know what, I really believe this, If you take some time to yourself, more time for Jayley and the holidays, when you're feeling and you're up against the wall, you'll get more done.

You get more done, You're just more present. And isn't that what the holidays are supposed to be about.

It's because all this is make believe. But even that you're doing this stuff, it's all great. Yeah, your family and your friends in your life, that's the real truth. I'd pray that's what I'm going to think about you. But you have that This holiday thank you.

Isn't Gabrielle the best. My guests shared some beautiful I Choose Me moments for the holidays. But the truth is these reminders aren't just seasonal. They're kind of like tools that help us find peace and wholeness all year long. So congratulations for taking this. I choose me moment to be with me right now. Here are some more from this year's conversations with my amazing and wise friends Jason Priestley. What was your last I Choose me moment?

You know what, I choose me almost every day when I go to pilates because it is a totally selfish endeavor. And whether I'm going there or I'm just going to the gym. You know, I work out six days a week.

But that's not selfish.

I got to stop you.

That's not selfishish.

It is no, no, no, no.

No, it's not selfish because you have to take care of yourself so that you can be there for your kids and you have to stay healthy.

Well, that's true.

You're taking care of yourself so you can be a better caretaker and okay father figure.

Yes, okay, okay, okay.

I don't want you to feel like it's selfish.

Okay, I don't. I don't think itself is in a bad way. But I think it's I feel like it's it is. It is a self serving act, you know what. You know. I also I also want to keep myself in shape so I feel better. Yes, right, I mean, I you know, being being there for my kids and being a better father for my kids. And it's sort of a byproduct, but I feel, you know, I don't

The aging thing. It's good to know that you have conversations like that with your friends, because I do too. Yeah, conversations I never saw myself having, but they matter. They mean something to me. And sharing like knowledge and information with people my same age worrying or thinking or focusing on this things is so important. Yeah, that's one of the reasons I love doing this podcast because we can really share a lot of a lot of information with

Is going to do it?

Goshcha Oliver Hudson, how do you find your own peace and wholeness? What was your last I choose me moment?

Mmmm?

This, it's a good question.

The last time you said I'm gonna do this for myself.

I choose Okay. This is great because I think there are little things. I think you have to choose yourself at times, many times in the day, little things I really do I'm going to take this more for myself. They're the big ones. But I think every day you have to You have to choose yourself, even if you have kids, even if you're busy, even if you're you know, in a workplace. There are the moments where you're choosing you every day. You have to find that, you know.

Oh my gosh, yeah.

One hundred percent. And then her, she has hers too. You know, she's big on her friends, and she goes to sleepovers, you know, for two or three nights and I'm with the kids, or you know, she just did a whole trip to New York with all of her girlfriends for four nights, you know, and you know, I think relating it to relationships, you have to let your partner have those choose me moments whenever the hell they want, you know.

Yeah, I've learned that kind of the hard way. I used to be like I felt left out. I don't know if that's jealousy. I felt. I would feel left out, I would feel like unincluded, like you know, I had all those very unhelpful feelings. And then something just sort of changed where I was like, Okay, you are your own person. You have your own needs, and I have my own needs, and there's nothing wrong with each of us having the things that you know, fill us up

Yeah, one pillar, that codependency. That one. If you're going to hold up a big stone, you know, slab, one pillar right there's going to be effected, the wind might blow. That ship is much easier, it's easier, going to be easier to tip. And that's the codependency. If you've got two, that ship is going to stand strong, you know what I mean, whether that's family, relationship, whatever it is. You know,

Chelsea Hand. I know you've worked so hard this year. How have you learned to choose yourself anytime?

Now that I'm resistant towards anything, I just go for it.

I'm like, oh, yes, you have.

To do it.

Like I'm really bad at dancing, and I'm decided I'm just going to start dancing.

I'm very self conscious.

I know I'm a bad dancer, and i feel like everyone's staring at me, and I'm like, you know what, this is good. You're going to start dancing at fifty and it doesn't matter.

That you were kind of dancing just like solo dancing, any dancing.

Like I can't even dance to a beat, like at the tailor shoone, like just go two step and you feel like you.

Want to dance, but you hold yourself back because it's not nobody needs to see that.

Yes, yeah, totally like self conscious It's like, my self conscious thing is my dancing, and.

You should be free to just dance. I'm happy you get to dance the whole year of your I no.

I'm gonna I'm gonna start dancing and not care what anyone thinks.

I love this. This is good.

Yeah, because I need I need new challenges, you know, need something else to like be like, Okay, this is I haven't done.

I haven't done a lot of acting work recently.

I'm going to do that decided.

I'm like, I'm going to do stuff that isn't in my comfort zone.

It's like a beauty of it.

Yeah.

I feel like fifty is like a reset, like a reset, like okay.

Now let me go around.

It's like you're going back into the hotel room to look and see what you forgot right before you check out.

You're like, okay, you let me do one more.

Past my embiolic. You inspire so many people every day. What was your last I choose me moment?

Wow?

What was my last I choose me moment?

You know?

I was supposed to go to a screening Friday night to support a friend of mine, and I really wasn't feeling well. I was listening to my body. And it was so hard because everything in me was like, go, you'll be fine, it's okay, blah blah blah, like all the things like what will they think of me?

What will like this?

And I built it up so much and I finally said to this friend, I was honest. I said I'm not feeling well and I'm very sorry. I'm not going to be able to come. And his response was like, I know how much you love and support me. It's totally fine. What I'm most excited about is that you're taking care of yourself.

Oh, and it doesn't always work like that.

A lot of times you'll stand up for yourself and people will be like, you let me down?

Why not this?

But it was like a great It was a message from the universe giving me permission to literally listen to my body.

And it was like, there's just yeah.

And it didn't just make me feel better that I didn't have to like go out late at night to this thing.

It was that I.

Got that elevator lift feeling for myself, like oh, you're allowed to advocate for yourself and if you don't feel good, it's okay. That was a really big one you know, I watched Family Feud and went to bed.

Oh good night. That's a good night. And that's the whole point of this podcast. And what I talk about is that letting people know that it is okay to choose themselves. And you choose yourself, and you also realized in that moment, oh, choosing myself feels really good. Ever, Carodane, what was your last I choose me moment?

I've been thinking about this a lot good.

And I have two.

On my I choose me is my garden.

I don't have a gardener.

I do our gardening. I do our planting, I do our trimming, and so like, if I find myself sort of in the La crazies or spinning, I will just put my gardening gloves on and my clogs and prune and weed and we have sort of like a little English garden and I'm proud of it and I love how it makes me feel. The other day I did it barefoot. I was like, maybe that'll be like grounding.

I choose them, A lot of people say.

But at the end of twenty twenty three, I sort of, you know how, everyone on social media posts like these are the books I read this year and Obama's list, and I'm like, Obama read fifty five books? Like what am I doing with my time? So at the beginning of twenty four I started a book group and the goal was a book a month. And the book group is kicking ass, and it's this incredible group of like

That's mine.

I love that. Who's in your book group?

Who's in my book group? But there's a lot of people in my book girl you might know as Meredith Salinger is in my book group, Meredithsealeah, and then a lot of moms who I've met over the years, either through preschool or school. And then some other women in the book group brought in a friend and we all just sort of mesh great, it's been really it's I highly recommend a book.

What book are you reading right now?

Then?

Currently we are reading two books because we're like that.

I know, we're reading over Achievers.

I know, we just read East of Eden. So we're sort of revisiting some classics, which if you haven't read, I really.

It's been a million.

It's really good. We read it during the fires, and it's really a love letter to California. We're reading House of Mirth, and then we're reading a collection of essays by a friend called Mothers and Other fictional Characters, which is also wonderful. And I know the author, Nicole, and so she's going to zoom in at our next book group and we're all going to get to kind of chat with her about her memoir.

Oh that's exciting, fun, right, it's fun. I love it that you did that. I heard that if you read a book for even twenty minutes a day, it has such significant help of your mental health.

Absolutely, and like you know a lot of us, I feel like, and I say this with no judgment, Like end of the day, I'd be sitting on the chair looking at my.

Phone and I was like scrolling.

Oh, but I want my.

Kids to see me doing so. I really make an effort to just at the end of the day for fifteen minutes or a chapter and just sit out there and then if they need something, they come out. When they find me, I have a book in my hand and my phone.

I love that. You just inspired me. Thank you. Yes, I'm going to pick up a book instead of my phone today when I have it.

Like ten minutes do it?

I see mets before I let you go. What was your last I choose me moment? Oh oh oh could be today, It could be yesterday, I.

Can yeah, yeah, for sure. I think it was getting up and going to the gym, right, Like I chose that, like I didn't want to me afterward, but starting to day. That is a little in my little bank, my confidence bank, or my choosing myself bank, for sure, take a little.

How do you do that when you're working all the time. It's you know, I hear people that get up at four am, five am.

What I'm like, what, Well, you know, what's weird? I had no qualms about getting up at four am to go to set, so okay, so what okay is it? Because like I can do it for the people why can't do it for myself?

You're doing You're doing it because that's your job, right, But taking care of yourself is your job.

Yeah.

Yeah, so I had to really shift that perspective. I was like, oh no, like Christy, and as we know, like spending eighteen hours on the set, you've got to be in somewhat sort of shape for the endurance to you know, a long day and what you're doing as well.

Yeah.

So I think for today, like that was certainly something I started my day with and it sets the tone.

Yep.

It definitely like revs yup for the rest of your day.

Right.

I love that feeling.

Yeah, I know. I'm like, okay, okay, okay.

She did it.

Oh Molly Sims, what was your last I choose me moment?

I think I choose.

It's gonna make me cry, It's okay, I think instead of I choose me, I chose us.

What does that mean to you?

Just having that, you know, the beginning of being able to say no to things, to say yes to us, to say yes to me, to to I choose me to You know, that's not going to really work for me right now. And those are really hard words because I love. I'm from the South. I love to please everyone.

Yeah, and.

You know, I've lost some friends along the way because I really couldn't do any more than what I was doing.

You know.

I think with COVID, the fires, you know, losing my mom and dad, I I cautiously had to take a step back to choose me.

Yeah.

How does that feel?

I mean uncomfortable, you know, really, you know, I you know, I love when people be like, oh, she's not going to do that. Like Michael, who's my publicist on this podcast listening right now, He's like, you know what, she's going to not do it right now, We're going to

Don't even know what to do with your no.

And b you know, for you then you had three young girls with Peter and both of your like it just it gets crazy. Yeah, it's crazy, and then life happens in top of it. So I think I choose me. I've chosen me. I choose me in those moments because I have to do.

You feel like it's you choosing to reconnect with yourself and your truth instead of.

Yeah, yeah, we just level it out, we least balance it, we balance it out. We kind of start back to zero, you know. I did I do acupuncture and I'm like, girl, I was like, I don't know, I can't sleep anymore. I'm like sweat and like and I was like, you know all the things that you're going through, and I was like, I was like, You've got to help me. I'm like, I just can't sleep. Literally, like in thirty seconds.

She left my room.

I was I was like snoring right.

Like I just needed someone to like just call me. That has been really good for me in my sense of just sense of getting back grounded and just have it again. That's an hour and fifteen minutes just for me. I took a walk the other day and I'm like, I'm not gonna go to that sports thing and they were so upsetting.

What do you mean?

What do you mean you're not gonna go.

I'm like, kids, Mom's gonna take a walk and I'm not gonna call you. I'm not gonna talk to you. I don't don't care how you do. I'm just gonna go take a walk.

You know.

But those check ins are important.

Yeah, you got to listen to your needs. You gotta put yourself first sometimes. And I'm so happy to hear that you're doing that because it's vital. Tammeron Hall, what was your last I choose me moment?

Oh, that's a great one. Oh my last she use me moment?

Oh it was this morning.

So yesterday I had a very early morning and I had a very intimidating thing that I had to face and it took a lot of I actually that shy kid and me showed up yesterday and I had to deal with her and do this event that I wasn't prepared for.

Proud of me.

So this morning, when it was time to wake up and get my son ready for school, I fought mom guilt as if one morning of not getting him ready versus his dad was going to somehow change the trajectory of his entire life. And I laid in bed and I did it. Get up and I let my husband warm the carrot muffin, And not that he wouldn't, but sometimes even when he's willing to will when he does do it. And he does it every morning with me. But I feel guilty if I don't not out there, like if I'm not you know.

Give me the kids, you know.

And I was like, my kid knows he loves me and I love him, and I'm going to stay in this bid.

Have a good day, kiddout.

Oh my god, that's a good one. Just stay in bed, Bill Rosenthal, what was your last I Choose me moment?

Oh?

I guess right before I got on with you, which is a very good I choose me moment. Talk to you.

Uh, I was on the elliptical for a half hour.

That great, Right, So.

Not only do I do weights in the morning, but I find another spot if I want to watch TV.

Don't just sit there, get get up and move a little bit. Make you do feel better? Yeah, move, move, move a little yeah. Yeah. Holly Madison, what was your last I choose me moment?

This is just so simple and silly, but I just have to choose to enjoy life because I'm really achievement oriented, and I tend to throughout my life go through different phases of like having anxiety of not having achieved enough, or I'm not on track or I haven't done this yet. And every day like I'm looking at it right now because I'm sitting in front of my window, like I

So that's mine.

I Choose Me moment, and there you have it. Happy Holidays from I Choose Me. We love you. Thank you for being here and for listening, and especially for choosing yourself with me.