You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garland. Hi, everyone, welcome back to I Choose Me. This podcast is all about the choices we make in good times and bad. Today's episode feels less like an interview and more like catching up with an old friend. You know Cameron Matheson as the dastardly Drew Cain on General Hospital. He is a favorite in all those holiday movies and the guy who somehow manages to stay grounded while juggling work, family,
and a whole lot of life's curveballs. We're going to talk about everything from nutty fan encounters to the ups and downs of social media, empty nesting, and rebuilding a life, both literally and figuratively. Okay, I can't believe he chases that dog down hyperiod.
No full sprit flipflops. It was Did you see the George Clooney movie? What was that movie where he's in Hawaii and he ran down the street because his wife was having an affair. Do you remember that scene? He was in the flip flops and he was It was such a painful moment because there was like I was in flip flops sprinting down Hyperion. After this dogo for I think probably probably felt like three quarters a mile was probably like half a mile, and he just and
it's probably the wrong response. Maybe I should have stopped running, because maybe he was only running because I was running, But I was afraid to stop because then he maybe would just keep I don't know. So eventually he came up to a woman and her dog, and I happened
to know the woman. She's like an older woman in a time, and he and the dog started barking because it was intimidating, and that's what got him, and so he was like and she was like, no, no, hunter stopped like and so it gave me a chance to grab him. And he had a little bandanas. I just got him groomed and I grabbed the bandana. I was holding his leave and the bandanna came off, so we broke him free again and then I finally kind of
looped him and he was just chill. He was just like he just wanted to run and play like he wasn't trying to be mean, he just wanted to be a dog.
Yeah, and terrorized the city of Silver Lake.
In like inadvertently, but yeah, yeah, oh.
My gosh, Well you're very nice to be taking in him, the foster dog. I thought at first it was like going to be your new dog.
Everybody did.
Did you think it was going to be your new dog? Or were you like, let me just see how this goes.
There was a part of me that was, you know, hoping for the foster fail. I sort of thought he was He's gonna be maybe, like it was just complete, you know, when.
You you you.
Block out any logical reasoning because the one little sliver of like want is in there and you're like, oh my gosh, this could work somehow. But then like reality sets in and he's one hundred pounds and I have no yard, and I have three stories where I am now and I'm never home and I travel and my kids are going back to college, and I'm alone now, and I you know, on set at General Hospital twelve hours. There's no log like, there's no way I should.
Have this dog keep them at home.
Yeah, like if you had my kids were home or I had, you know, in a relation, but yeah, like it's it was a it was a not this most skillful. But again, it was always intended to be a foster, So I was hoping that somehow magically it would make sense, and it really doesn't.
Well, usually you are the one doing the interviewing, so I'm excited to be interviewed and chatting way better with you, and all the ladies are definitely going to be swooning because I don't know if you know this, but apparently you are a beloved Christmas movie actor. Like you're beloved for other things. This is like hardcore.
Your mom watches me, which made me feel really good. I mean, considering like she's your mom and the unbelievable amount of things that you done.
I said me, maybe you want to brush your because she's living with me right now. I'm taking care of her. Maybe you want to brush your hair, maybe like a little lipsticles. Because I got someone coming over to meet you and she's like, I'm fine. I said, okay, I'm just letting you know you're gonna reget it. But anyway, I brought you in and her eyes lit up like a Christmas tree.
She was so cute and it feels good though, I mean obviously like that. She's very sweet.
No, she feel good, loves you. Wait, you're not so beloved as your other Your character on General Hospital, Drew is not he's a bad guy.
He's not a great human. Actually he's not even he's not even like in the in the in the spectrum of being like a good guy. He's just a complete How.
Did they cast you for playing a bad guy?
They didn't, So so he was a he was a hero like I was. I played Drew Kane, who was an ex Navy seal, hero, saved the day, best guy, all these things. And then there was like this little storyline where I was there was a there was a
character on the show. There is a character on the show Nina that Drew and Nina don't get along and we hate each other, and we were at odds and we had, you know, we were actually having kind of hate sex, which was all of a sudden that happened, like she ripped my shirt off one day, and so
then we hated each other after that. It was very, very bizarre because because that always happened, and we had these scenes and I just kind of laid into her for whatever, you know, like verbally, and just like we she laid into me too. It was just very dynamic, angry scenes. And then I think I make up. I don't know if this is true, but I make up from those series of scenes, They're like, he's kind of good at this, like like it's just like I know,
I don't know what happened. And then all of a sudden they started writing me more and more and more and more and more and more down that line, and now it's full gone, absolute douchebag jerk, like like corrupt congressman, not a good human, had an affair with a mother and a daughter blackmailed as best friends. Why he used an eleven year old to manipulate? Like like not good?
Like how do the people feel about this character?
People hate Drew and they often don't like me either. I get I get apples thrown at me in the supermarket. No, I had an apple throw me, like for real.
Like somebody yeah, took an apple off the apple pile correct and chucked it at you, Drew Kay, And she grabbed.
And it was sort of playful but not and she was like you're so bad. She threw it at me and blocked it, and I was like what And then and then I told this story, you know whatever to people, and people were like, come on, they a's gonna throw an apple. And then I was back in another supermarket and I'm looking for something on the shelf and I feel somebody beating me on the back with like a rolled up magazine. Oh, and I turn around and it's one of the employees of the supermarket yelling at me
for all my bad behavior on General Hospital. And so then I pulled out my phone and I just started recording her because I thought it was so funny to prove that these things are happening. I've had people pull their car over to the sidewalk and yell. I felt like, we're gonna come right up onto the curb yell at me through the window. I've had well, I I'll post like the most sweet things with my kids on Instagram and the comments will be like, you're disgusting on General Hospital.
We hate you, we hope you die. Oh that's great.
Wowsed you know you got street cred now?
I mean, I you know, I often wonder why it's going so well as such an evil person.
So you're still on your continuing role.
Yes, I'm still on. There's there's a I don't know exactly when this is gonna hear, but there's something that's coming up on the show that kind of changes the dynamic of everything for Drew, Like you know, it's it gets worse, like it gets worse. Everybody hates him, everybody wants him dead, and things, some crazy things happen. But as far as I know, like you know, it's I'm still on the show and I'm not you know, nobody's killed me officially yet or have they.
Well, we'll still It's like the so opera. I mean, in the sixties, seventies, eighties, they were like everything.
Yeah, because there was three channels to watch, right and then like during the day, people only had those shows to watch really and they were they had like our primetime rate, well not you're like Beverly Hills prime time ratings, but at the time like primetime ratings that we have now. And and then through more and more channels on cable and then through streaming, we've had to find different ways
for people to watch. And now they you know, they're watching on the phone and they're watching ABC and you know.
So that's amazing.
Yeah, that's still still doing great.
Okay, I want to ask you about the industry, and it's pivoted. Things were actors, but we're also now something else. I just was curious, like how do you feel being a man fluencer?
A man fluencer?
Do you like that I made it up?
You did? You should? That's good. I mean, I'm not surprised because you've good like that influencer. I love it. I love it because it's like it's how I live like I'm not trying to do anything that's not super authentic to me and an extension of how I live my life or try to. You know, I'm not perfect with it all, but I love to share things that
have worked. I love to share. You've shared journeys that you've been through, health journey struggles, things, the ways that you've improved and you inspired people, and and I'm getting more and more comfortable doing that. And I really, truly in my heart know that the things that I've done through I've done a lot of things wrong. I know what doesn't work. Oh my gosh. I mean, I know a lot of things wrong. Some of them will even
talk about. But I've done a lot of things wrong in the health, Like you know, because I was known at a young age as being sort of this like aesthetically fit looking guy, but really underneath I was super unhealthy, like going to extremes and doing a lot of unhealthy
things to achieve that look. And and when you're young, those extremes work for a little while and you can get away with it for a while, and then it stops working as well, and then you've got to get more extreme or do something else to try to get back there.
And you would, and it wasn't quite as good, but then it would work for a while, and then that would kind of plateau, and your metabolism would shut down, or you'd start gaining more weight, or you'd be inflamed or whatever, and you'd just stend it in your God, and you're whatever, and then you'd have to shift again and another extreme diet or work out or supplement or.
Whatever it to top it.
And and you, because you're you're you're in the industry, and you've got this pressure, and you've, like, you know, for me anyway, and I think for you too, you've established this kind of norm of what you look like.
So if that changes at all, if that norm changes at all, people, it's like a People magazine article.
I mean, it's it's a thousand times worse for you than it is for me. But it's like, yeah, you're right, like you I mean, I'm sure if there's a little sliver God for me. You go on vacation for whatever the summer, and you come back and you're not looking, you know, whatever, the way you did before when you had the bikini shoot on nine two one oo or whatever. You're gonna hear about it, and it messes with you, and of course we like we should be probably strong
enough to be like, yeah, I just had a good summer. Guys, take it easy, but it kind of gets to you. And so I went to a lot of unhealthy extremes. I didn't think they were necessarily on healthy extremes. I just thought it's what people needed to do. I didn't know any better. But then eventually everything kind of was out of whack. My hormones, my my cortisol, which is your stress hormone, my adrenals, my thyroid because your thyroid overregulates tries to help everything out. My gut health was
so disastrous. I had like h parlaia, My microbiome was through the roof. I had like mold exposure. I did these gut microbiome tests, and people that have seen thousands of them said mine was in the top three worst they'd ever seen wow cameraon.
I'm so proud of you.
For for you know, and that's a really, really hard thing to rebalance. It's people think, oh, you just got to take some probiotics and go on carnivore or gone keto for a while and you'll feel and that's true, that'll help in the short term, but you're not healing anything. You're not killing the bad bacteria and balancing the microbiome.
And I started working with a functional health coach that was literally like night and day, and I'm like stronger and healthier and more energy and have more vitality and more flexible like then I was. I'm fifty six, and I'm telling you, when I was twenty nine, I wasn't near like this, Like I wasn't near even when I was esthetically fit looking.
You weren't as healthy as you are now, not even close. Recently, it's been bananas for you.
It's been a little bananas. And I've had a stretch where and we all have our stuff and I'm saying this like as my stretch and my challenges, but we can all relate in different ways. I had so through my going to extremes and being very unhealthy to try to look healthy. I eventually, uh, found out I had kidney cancer, and that rocked my world and just blew my mind and was very scary and like threatening. Thank goodness,
I had spread and we dealt with it. And then through that treatment, I found out like my mom while she was visiting me in my recovery of kidney cancer, figured out that she had brain cancer and uh, and you know, and then she didn't, she didn't survive. That it was a horrible glioblastoma is going to get you, and it's still obviously tricky. Yeah, And then so anyway, yes, so I had cancer, my mom. COVID happened somebody very very near and dear that I don't really have the
permission and to talk about details. Went through a life threatening experience during COVID. Then I lost my job that I was a talk show host. And then my wife and I for many many years twenty two years, went separate ways and it was a surprise to me and many of the things about it that was very very
hard and painful. And then my dog died, and then my house burnt down, and I lost everything that I've ever owned in every evidence of my life in the ly fires in January and here I am so and that's not all of it, to be honest for that, yeah, I mean, and we all again that's my list. We all have lists. Yes, So it's been a stretch. I tried to stay positive and resilient and inspire others to
get through stuff. But it definitely has its moments where it's very child as you see, like you know, even get an emotional but my mom, I mean, it's you know, it's tough. It's tough, and you got to have that. You got to have those moments where you feel it and you allow the struggle and you hopefully have tools
to get through it. But then also focus on things, so many things to be grateful for, Compassion for others going through it way worse, like you think about the fires and so fifteen thousand different structures burned and houses and families and so, you know, I really try to focus on compassion, on gratitude, and then another one for me is just real deep acceptance. That's very helpful.
I know you are very close to your parents, so I'm really really sorry about your mom.
Thank you.
I think that happened right after one of our Christmas movies do I recall correctly.
You did right after a kind hearted Christmas?
I think, yeah, yeah, And I'm actually sharing something about you in my upcoming book because that you've had such a profound effect on me that we've never even really talked about. And I'll just go into that. I remember doing the first Christmas movie with you. I have no idea what year that was, but you're so like calm and so even keeled and so present and so compassionate to everybody on the crew, every single person, and you had this like stillness about you. And I remember being like,
what is this guy's a deal? He's not like a typical actor. He's so nice. What's wrong with him? And I went up to you and I was like, what's your deal? Like why are you so happy?
I remember that you did. I absolutely remember that because I don't think I really realized that that's how I come across, or sometimes come across like that made me. It was felt nice to hear that question, you know, like it was like it meant a lot to me that you came and asked me. That we talked about it.
Yeah, I was like, I want what I want what you have? Like I that's what I want in my life, and you shared with me about your journey to finding faith or whatever you want to call it. You told me about the that you study Buddhism, and you told me. I asked you all the questions, like what's that like? Are you a Buddhist? Do you have do you have like material things? Have you've given up all your You were laughing at me, and you told me all about
where you study and who you study under. And I started going because of you, and that changed my life profoundly. Just my learnings from those Monday night classes.
It's amazing. Yeah, that's really really amazing and like makes me so happy, and it's it's so true. This like the psychology and sort of philosophy of Buddhist teachings or
Eastern philosophy. It's it's for everybody, like it's for every religion everybody, because it's very it's very much just the logical science of happiness of the mind and how to think and how to train your mind through meditation and rewire your brain in a sense in really positive, virtuous ways of doing things and incorporating that with meditation to kind of help get it deeper in your kind of essence, so that it's not just like talk therapy. And I
think that's amazing. Talk therapy is very, very helpful. But there's something about sort of that lineage of ancient wisdom and then incorporating it with meditation and how we're our own sort of personalized research project with it where we take a teaching and it's like, all right, let's check it out. Let's see if it works. Does it make me happier? Does it improve my challenging situations at work? Does it make me look at the situation a little different?
Am I looking at somebody more with compassion and understanding that they're suffering instead of taking everything personally? And how can they be so mean to me? What about me? Like shifting the mind in different skillful ways? Learning to you know, love? I remember one class I invited you to was a class on love. It was something about love?
Wait? Were you? Were you the teacher that night?
Oh? Man? I don't know? Was I? Wait?
I don't know?
But did you come to a class where I taught?
I came to a lot of classes. And did we sit next I don't think I ever sat next to you.
No, no, but I remember you coming to class with your friend, the makeup.
Part of them, and then you were teaching.
I was okay, I don't.
Know, maybe not that one, but yeah, I taught.
Oh yeah a few times. You're right, that's right.
I remember what your daughter once.
And I were going.
She was coming with me, remember.
Quite a while, and we walked in and wasn't there. Yeah, it wasn't there, and so I was like, wait, what's gonna happen? And then you sat down as the teacher, and you and I were cracking up. We were like writing little notes to each other.
I'm sure you were. I'm sure I can only listen. I'm up there saying hey, everybody, how are you doing? Thanks for coming, and think you know, this is whatever's what we're doing. And in part of my mind, all I'm thinking about is, oh my god, Jenny's having a riot right now. Don't look at don't know I contact to not make eye contact. Yeah.
It was good. I enjoyed it, and I learned from you.
And I remember one reaction you said it was like because it was a class on love that I know. This was when the center was back at the other place, and you were like, why do you think I need love?
When my like it was something like you you were joking, but you were sort of saying that, and then quickly realized that from a Budhist perspective, love is just like feeling a warm, close connection to everybody and like caring about others and cherishing them and wishing for them to be happy, and and it actually is the most sort of pure form of you know, love or you know, just general care for others. And that's what the class
was all, not necessarily romantic love. In fact, I don't think anywhere in Buddhism teachings teachers, Yeah, like work on your relationship, Well it does directly, Yeah.
Yeah, it applies to all of your Yeah, because in many cases, one of the things that we try to, you know, look at is how you know this mind of what we call attachment or desirous attachment, which is like what.
Can you do for me? Versus the mind of love, like what can I do for you? Like how are you like like shifting that mental attitude And a lot of our relationships, of course, are us expecting others to kind of make us happy versus like the mind that wishes others to be happy. And you know, in doing so, we end up taking care of ourselves too, Like that's
the beauty. That's the beauty of it. The back door effect of learning to shift the mind and really caring and connecting them compassion and love and thinking about others and respect and patience and kindness is that we end up being so much happier and our relationships improve. And you're like, wait a minute, this was always the answer. No.
I mean because I've studied all kinds of religions trying to figure it out over the years, and nothing really like worked inside of me. Nothing made sense to me. But the day I sat down in a Buddhist class, everything he said made sense to me.
That's amazing. I had the same experience. It was. I studied engineering, right, so I studied like logic in science and math. And that's one of the reasons I struggled with different teachings and religions. And I actually have lots and lots of love and admiration for all of them. But like you say, when I got these teachings, it was very logical and step by step clear and laid out, and I was like, oh, this is what I need, you know, And everybody kind of is attracted to different things.
But that's helpful for me.
I know. I don't say I'm a Buddhist because I think people instantly leap to like the extreme with that.
Always, always they're like, no, you're not. I'm like, well, okay, yeah, yeah, I'm like fine, I still have a you know, well I don't have as much anymore as it, but in general, like I have a lot of possession. But that was an interesting thing too, speaking of like so the big misconceptionsism is like no possessions and like live in a cave and like all right, and that's not it at all. It's more so just so people understand, you know, it's more like your your your relationship with nice things and
having things. It's not being needing them and and having the mindset that these things are going to make me happy, like I need this and this and this and this and this and attention and validation and money and to make me happy, versus having these things and enjoying them purely and knowing that you could be happy with or without them. And I now know because I lost everything, Jenny, like everything on January eighth. I had nothing I had.
It's not the kind of thing where I had some stuff at my mom's house or oh, but in a basement back home I have everything was gone. I had my car, I had my phone. Jesus, clearly I got all work to do on this. Oh I had what I was wearing, and that's it. And like in that moment, it was very like I muted the videos on my Instagram because I was videoing it for Vanessa and for my dad like I wanted to, because I was just
checking to see if our house was still there. And then I drove up and it was gone, still burning, and I was in shock, and I was like, I've never heard noises come out of me like that, Like it was very bizarre. It was like, I mean, I suppose I was just gasping for error in shock, but there was like this other momentary feeling that came in and out where it was like kind of feeling liberated, like like now it's I don't know, like all the
stuff and accumulation and more and more and more. And I don't know if you've experienced it, but the more money you have or whatever, the more kind of you want and stuff you get. And at least for me, and I've gone through waves of that and worked on it and through my spiritual life. But in that moment I had nothing like possession was and like like I knew I was gonna be okay. Like I was very very hard and painful, and I struggled a lot, especially with my kids. With respect to my kids and the
evidence of their childhood and everything. That was by far the worst, Jenny, than all of their birth photos, all the film, because you know that when our kids were little, they was all film. So all that's gone. They've got no photos at all until we have digital, none, no evidence of their Yeah, it's that's a tough one.
That I'm so sorry, Like that is tough, but I understand what you're saying. Yeah, you're starting from ground zero and now you actually and also that's all that was right on the heels I think of your divorce.
It was, Yeah, that we had been separated for about a year and a half officially at that point, maybe a little bit longer, but still felt very fresh. And we're still working. I mean, we're still working through stuff.
So do you think in the aftermath, like the way the fire affected you and your whole family, do you think that ended up bringing closer relationships within the family because especially if you can imagine going through something like that with my partner and feeling all the feelings, then to have to go through some think that devastating. And only this family that lived there together understands.
I'm sure I.
Feel like it.
It must have a thousand person that's it's very, very in line with our experience, especially Vanessa and I. You know, again, there was it was a tricky time when we separated, and there was a lot of specific conditions that made it made it really tough. You know, you said it was a surprise to hear it for you. It was a surprise to me too, and those are the worst and we just you know, we have a lot of love for each other, but there was also a lot
of pain that time. And I really feel and I think I think I can speak you know, for Vanessa as well, because we've talked about this, and in that moment after the fire, like I stayed in the kids room where, you know, in her place, and it was as if the post breakup timeline, which takes time, hopefully for most people to like, you know, eventually hopefully they get to a place where they get along and they co parent and everything's great. Or whatever, everything's you know good.
It was as if that going through that together just like erased a lot of the negativity and just brought us really like it just kind of shortened that timeline and we kind of got to this real place of love and care and support and we're there for each other and cried and talked and hugged and not in a oh we're going to get back together kind of way, just like a really close like nobody else knew what we were going through, and that bond.
Yeah, there was a really it was your life in that house and exactly.
Exactly like the kids were literally raising that house. It's where all, you know, our relationship for the most part, was all in that house fifteen years or so of the twenty two and yeah, so I so yes, and then also the kids too, we had Yeah, the kids were in school and overseas, and so it's been a little bit kind of choppy with how they've done their healing around it too, versus like coming home or but mostly through this summer since they've been back, and it's
been really it's been really beautiful and it's been really
healing for all of us. And yeah, and also remembering you know what really truly is important and being able to really feel things and talk about them and that's okay, and the pain and the fear and the anger, the sadness, the frustration, Yeah, and just kind of getting it out as well as understanding that these challenges I really believe are going to make the kids and hopefully the adults much stronger, you know, like, you know, just it's almost
the ultimate resilience training. They you know, I talk about all the things I've been through in the last four years, They've been through exactly those things too. Their dad having cancer and thinking maybe he's not going to make it, then their mom, their grandmother dying of a horrible brain cancer journey, and then COVID during the pivotal years of
high school, et cetera. And then this other thing that I talked about that you know, it's a little bit more private, and then their their relationship this parent, their parents like breaking up when they never thought that would ever happen, and then their dog dying, and then they're like they've been through it and like, hopefully I've got more skills and I mean, yeah, you do. And so it's been an amazing I don't know, amazing experience for
me to see how incredible and resilient. And I think in a sense like wise they've been through this, you know, and not always right. But what they haven't resorted to to numb the pain, you know, what they haven't you know, like these days, kids can go a lot of different directions to not feel you know, kin adults for that matter. It can be as simple as like phone and screens and video games, or it can be you know, substances
and et cetera. And they've been pretty amazing and we really tried to keep the communication open and it's it's been great. Yeah.
I love it when you post pictures of you having fun with them now. It's just so touching because I know how close your bond is with them, and I know all the things that you guys have dealt with and how strong and resilient they are and gorgeous. But Hi, you're an empty nester. Now they're gone. They're abroad, I know, like way they're not just you know, in another state.
Isn't that crazy, Like I mean, you know, because you've experienced this too, But no, they're they're on there. So my daughter's in Paris and my sons in London are studying it really to two different programs obviously, and you know, Dog's gone. Relationships over, like it's a real the house has gone, possessions gone, like it's a real fresh start, Like here we go.
Like how are you doing? What are you doing to design your new life? Like this is a transition, This is like a hard pivot. This is like a this is brand new.
It's sort of like it's it's like a forced hard pivot. It's like it's like I'm speeding along this road and I think I'm going to be on it for the rest of this stretch of this journey, like I'm just making this up as I go. But then there's like around this corner there's like a hard hairpin turn that I got to make or others I'm going right off this cliff kind of thing, and it sort of feels
like that. And I haven't been great, I think after the fire, like I've been very very positive and uh, what's the word I'm looking for, almost like practical and doing like taking a lot of really good steps to heal and get through, especially the breakup and all of that. And then when the fires happened, it almost felt like it was the straw that broke the camel's back, and I kind of did distract myself and numb out, and I didn't go to my classes as much, and I
wasn't relying on my spiritual life and my meditation. Is it was almost like, you know, I don't know if I can say this, but fuck it. Like it was almost like, yeah, it was almost like just too much.
How long did that period last for you? Oh my god, you're making me cry all day? Sorry, then you're making me cry.
It it lasted off and on, like it wasn't like a solid stretch, but a good a good six months. And I think I'm just kind of now coming out of it. Like in a way, I did like a nice retreat this summer in England and like a meditation retreat, and I had a lot kind of alone and healing time with the kids and traveled and we did some sort of a closure sort of therapy on the property in Altadena and some things that have helped really kind of be more productive. That's the word I was thinking
of productive. I'll say this, I haven't really talked much about this, Like I didn't drink or use any mind altering substances for eighteen years because you chose. I chose not to, so I you know, I don't consider myself necessarily an addict in those ways, but there was a period of my life, short period of my life, thankfully,
where they certainly weren't helping me making good decisions. And I made the very strong deterence when I found but as teachings and meditation, and I started trying to like sort of solve my inner problems with like with inner solutions versus outer solutions like numbing out, and it was very like helpful for me. But anyway, so I stayed away from all stuff that became to not be good for me, and alcohol was not a big one of them. But I just cut alcohol out too for eighteen years.
And then when the conditions of the separation happened, I kind of like, you know, I had a drink for the first time, and I luckily I don't really like alcohol. I don't like drinking, which is a very fortunate thing. But I probably had like a handful of drinks in a year and a half of my separation, just casually and probably not even finishing them.
And that's not I mean, that's nothing it's.
It's really I mean to most people. To me was it was something because it was indicular. But I will say, so we're talking about not being as skillful after the fires, I noticed that that was happening a little bit more often. And again, if you're like like, people will laugh at me because it would be like, you know, three drinks a week or whatever, like, but for.
Me, that's like, you're about taking care of yourself and.
It's and it's also so about like it's more because you know, I'm I'm it was more about I was looking forward to it. It was more about all I'd like to have, like that's new to me, Like even back in the day when I like, I never thought about yeah, like exactly, so I noticed that it was like part of my mind, this is a small part, but part of my mind was kind of looking forward to it. And that was a big red flag for me.
And it was like, oh, so you know it was Fortunately for me, it's a very easy thing to kind of just shut down again.
But I mean, I think for so many people who do struggle with severe addictions, yes, this sounds like nothing, but for you, it was something.
And it's also maybe like yes, for sure, So not minimizing somebody who's because if you have a history of addiction, like having that one drink could ruin your whole life. And so please don't take this like that was not a thing for me, clearly, and this is an indication. But I didn't like it, Like I was like, I don't. I don't. That's a that's a that's a bizarre for me for me to kind of like want that or
to numb out or look forward to that. It was an indication that I wasn't using the tools and the things that I had developed in the last twenty years of my life to become a better person and to try to like deal with challenges and problems in a more productive and effective way. And at the same time, I was being very gentle with myself, like I was just noticing it and being aware of it, and and then eventually I eventually like I just kind of stopped. And I prefer that, Yeah, Like I I wear this
little help like fitness tracker. It's called Whoop and Whoop. I like that, and it's a really good one. It's a very very effective one. I don't work for them. And I noticed that when even if I had half a drink or something like my numbers, my sleep quality, my hr my heart rate variability, my blood oxygen level, and my heart rate. All of it was like shot, Like my recovery was in the red, like just a drink because I'm so sensitive to it.
Yeah, and you're so on top of what's going on with your body now, and.
Now it's been like weeks and weeks or months where I haven't and I'm in the green and my numbers are great, and I'm like, this is what I want to be and I feel fresh, and you know, I want to like, yeah, I want to be able to resist a craving that I know isn't in the direction of who I want to be, Like, I want to be able to sit with it and be like, I'm feeling this coming up, So how can I handle this? Do I have to act on it? Do I want to act on it? Do I want to have? What
are my other options? And I just try to take my time and be mindful of it, and you know, and it's it's better for me, Like.
You're back on the rails.
Yeah, I definitely back on the rails.
I like Cameron on the rails. Me too, yeah, me to, and I know that you're your spirituality had to have been a big part of helping you through that. I can only imagine.
I think it probably saved my life, like it was.
I don't want to be dramatic, you're an actor, man, it felt like it.
Did, like especially in the breakup, especially you know, in the separation, I was in a lot of pain.
What was your lowest? Will you tell me? Because I've had a lot of lows.
I know, yeah, I know, I talked a little bit about.
I don't know the details, but you think it was the separation.
The low for me? Wow, that's tricky because that morning at the house when I walked up there, that had to have been a massive low. But also in a weird way, it was it was as if kind of whatever you want to say, but the universe was sort of saying like, no, you really need like a fresh fresh start, like you need to start over, like relationship gone, kids out of the house, dog gone, house gone, possessions gone, health jeopardized. Who are you now? Like what are you
going to do now? So even though that on paper would feel like the ultimate low, and maybe it is in one level emotionally close to that, or maybe even lower was the breakup when it wasn't officially yet, but I knew things weren't good. Like I was living in our little guesthouse and my dog had cancer and was paralyzed. He's like beautiful dober Men and he couldn't use his back legs, and so I was like in so much pain,
not sleeping, my mind going. My dog was out there with me and paralyzed and couldn't walk, and I was having to help him, and he was up in the night and he didn't have control of his bowels, and it was it was such like it was just a real dark low where it was. I just felt like everything was kind of slipping away. And yeah, I'm sleeping on this like pull out couch in my guesthouse. And then there's just a lot of emotional pain, and I've got a lot of frustration and confusion and fear and.
All those things are so hard to sit with.
Yeah alone, yeah in your mind, Like you know, there's physical pain and then there's mental pain, emotional pain, and I think in many many ways, I've had a lot of really intense physical pain and it's it's very scary, very hard, but I don't think it compares to like emotional mental pain, and.
We don't think we're strong enough to get through it. Like I think probably that's the biggest fear, is like I don't know how I can get through this, like I need some help. And then maybe that's when you turn to remembering what you've learned.
Or yeah, it has that's exactly right, like it's I would notice that in that time, in that stretch, you know, I was going to you know, talk therapy and it was very helpful. But then also my classes and my studies and my meditation and even something as simple as just like counting mantras or something in the in the center, and the way that I felt after a class or after a study or a meditation session, it was as if all of the conditions of my life, the challenging
conditions of my life, they felt different. I had more compassion and love, I had more patience and acceptance and understanding. I like the world looked brighter. And then slowly you lose that perspective in life, and an argument and things at that, and then you got to get back and I just knew that that became like the real indication that you know, I need this in my life, and this is it was the most incredible, like night and day.
Sometimes I felt like in our couple's therapy at that time, before things were worked out, that it made it worse, Like you're talking about the problem and you're dwelling on the problem and sometimes can be more like problem oriented and not solution oriented. I'm not saying all time, and you're coming out and you're actually more worked up and agitated and feel worse off than when you went in.
The same thing happened to David and I because we went through a big breakup for a year and we tried couple therapy. We both hated it. It made us further, it took us further apart.
Isn't that crazy? Like it's not crazy, because I think there's actually books written about how if it's not, I don't really know because I haven't read all of them.
But essentially, the essence from what I understand is dwelling and sort of sitting in the problem and going back and forth, you know, and the problem said she said, right, it can just spiral it up and you're you're almost like exaggerating the bad qualities and you're just kind of like reliving it and retriggering it versus really being more kind of on a solution oriented or or you know, there's other strategies, but for me, that was my experience.
I think for me, it came down to forgiveness that it was very hard to get there. Yeah, like that took a lot of digging. Good for you, but forgiveness of the other person's actions or what desires or whatever caused it. And then the forgiveness to myself for myself for whether I didn't take the best care of myself through it, I wasn't the best mom through it, really saying like you just went through something really really rough and you need to continue to love yourself through it.
And that's one of the things too with like, I talk a lot to everyone about choosing themselves and the importance of saying I choose me. And there are times when I'll go to a class, budd a class and the focus is so not on the me.
So how do you please tell me about this? Because this is really interesting. This is where people get a lot of the wrong idea about.
So I get I get twisted in my own mind and think, oh, no is choosing myself or is allowing myself to know that it's okay to choose myself. Is that being selfish? Because it's really and I asked one of the teachers in the Pasadena class on it's about, like, how do you know, how do you explain that to me? If I'm choosing myself and my selfish or am I always supposed to be putting others first and their happiness before my own? Right, which, yes, that does help you,
that makes you feel better. But at the same time, it's kind of all the same message, like it's all about when you do choose to take care of yourself more available and helpful and useful to.
Others, like getting like good sleep and doing like good feel good things that are your sort of green light behaviors that you love to go down and playing golf or whatever, like doing things that nurture you. But then also, you know, in Buddhism we hear, like in society, we
hear a lot about self love. I choose me self love and a really cool description of sort of the Buddhist philosophy on self love is so love like I talked about in a Buddhist perspective or Eastern philosophy perspective, is is a deep wish for others to be happy and cherishing others and caring. But that that's like pure love, like without that sort of selfish intention, So self love like you know, wishing so love would be wishing others
to have pure happiness, like lasting peace and happiness. So self love would be wishing that for yourself to find peace, like real deep peace and lasting happiness. That would be considered self love from a Buddhist perspective. And the best way to do that is to you know, like meditate on virtue and to train in patience and love and
wisdom and compassion. And that's that's like basically how like that self love of healing your heart and your mind at the same time taking care of yourself and like you know, eating well and sleeping well and drinking lots of water and going for walks and saying no like these are all minds, like you know, wishing others to be happy and caring about others. It doesn't in fact,
very little of it is physical action. It can be verbal because of verbal but so much of it is just a shift of the mind, like you know, may you be happy, may you experience beautiful conditions. May you, you know, find peace in your life. May you find a new home after the fire, is just like it's just a mind, it's just a shift of the mind.
One of the biggest things for me was the teaching that looking at someone and being angry at someone. You've talked about it before in the class you taught me about, like when you're driving and someone cuts you off and you get angry and you look at the guy and you're like, you know, hey, asshole. But being able to look at others as if with the knowing that all they want is to be free from suffering and pain
in their own lives. So when you think about someone and you look at someone, even a stranger, if you put that thought first, it just changes how you see people. Like it's such a it's like a like a leveling of humanity. Yeah, the goosies.
Yeah, it's so beautiful and it's so true. You would change the world. It would literally change everybody's relationship, and it changes our mind and it changes our relationship with the situation. It completely changes the person in the supermarket that cuts you off, or on the street or whatever, when you know you just think they're just trying to be happy. They're trying to be free from pain and suffering. They're trying to get home to their kids. Maybe they
worked in All Night Show. They just want to be just like me. Their wish for that happiness and to have peace in their life and joy and freedom from pain and all that feels to them exactly the way mine does feel to me. And we're the same. And may you be happy.
Happy to be happy. It's the greatest thing. I could talk about it for forever. You did good by introducing me to it. So that's why I really do have a place in my heart for you. I do want to just talk about this in you redefining what is next for Camera Matheson, Like what do you want? The world is your oyster. You've decided to focus on providing functional health coaching for other people, which is right on brand for you.
Yeah. Well, first of all, thank you good. I'm glad because it just it's just me. It's as I sort of alluded to earlier, like it changed the whole way that I come at health and longevity and fitness and training and happiness. Like it's an amazing.
People look at you and they think I want what he has, Like I want to be able to live a healthy life like he has and overcome my own adversities. But now it's as if you're taking all of that hardship that you endured and helping others with it.
That as honestly my goal. This is a passion project. This is something that I know from my own experience change like so a functional health coach. So we all know what functional health like, a functional medicine doctor, but it's it's so much more than that.
I'm gonna stop. What is a functional health doctor compared to just a regular old doctor.
So generally, a functional health doctor, from my best understanding, is somebody that treats more the root cause of things so versus you know, I think in a lot of cases, western medicine treats symptoms. It's more like sick health excuse me, sick treatment versus health treatment. And a functional doctor will try to look at the root causes and very helpful.
But oftentimes you can go to a functional medicine doctor and they give you some supplements and they give you some protocols and things, and then you're on your way and there's no follow up and there's nobody there to hold your hand or answer your question. So a functional health coach takes the essence of functional medicine looking trying to heal your body and its root causes of things. Like you know, for instance, I had acid reflux for
ten years. I was given an acid reflux acid reflux medication from a doctor that is directly correlated with kidney cancer, the exact type of cancer I had. It caused the digestion and my gut acid production to shut down, ruin my digestion, which was the cause of my microbiome imbalance all of that. So they're treating a symptom, but the root cause often gets worse, whereas functional medicine will try to get to the root props. Why is your at why is you Why do you have acid reflux? What's
going on? Is it because you have too little acid? No, it's it's excuse me if it's because you have too much acid. No, it's because you have too little acid. So I shifted and I started taking each cl with my meals, lemon water, some some sauerkrat which is fermented vegetables, as well as ginger tea, and in three days, after twelve years of being on medication. In three days with just lifestyle and diet changes, my acid reflux was gone. So like, so that's sort of more of the functional
approach using natural foods and lifestyle supplements. Maybe peptides. We have a peptide department, Hormone replacement therapy division like AVITE, like a medical division testing like elaborate hormone and gut and blood work testing, because there's a lot of things that you can learn from that testing that you wouldn't get just from like going to a trainer or going
to like a functional medicine doctor or whatever. And this and the coaching is where you check in weekly and you send progress photos and you you put online like you know, how much water you're drinking, how's your sleep, how many steps are you getting? What are you struggling with? What? You have a partner, You have a partner in it
their head. It's just it literally you have somebody that's you're accountable to, and it inspires you to, Yeah, just keep your track and of course you're gonna fall off and do things. And you know, I had my birthday the other day and I was like whatever I wanted to eat and it was great. And then you just get back on track and you just do.
Wait. I was going to have a cupcake for you today, Oh you were, but then I thought no, I would get him a carrot, because he's.
Not going to eat just a carrot, some celery and some homicies, would it.
Yeah, of course did.
I certainly had my my first shir yesterday. But but anyway, Yeah, So that's so I started Health three sixty. It's it's a new passion project. It's my so I joined forces with Vital Coaching, which Vince Pittstick and Vital and we've got a new division called Health three sixty, which I'm you know, the face of and spreading the word and telling my story. And this is literally only because I see how many people get it wrong. They try so hard, and you know, oftentimes what used to work when we
are younger stops working. And it can be for a like a million different reasons. You know, hormones, gut health, inflammation, cortisol, blood sugar, you know, you know, parasites, mold explode you. And medicine doesn't take care of that. They'll just give you like a pill where they'll train harder, cut more calories. That's just like it's not the answer. Sometimes it works for a little while, but ultimately it doesn't.
Yeah, it seems like so big and complicated to even like say, redirect your gut health. Yeah, you know, yeah, of course like that, I don't even know where to begin.
So that's that's a great example. I know, we don't have tons of time to get in. I don't want to like board people like, but re kind of balancing your gut microbiome is unbelievably tricky. Like you really need to have a protocol that is very, very elaborate and works, because taking a little bit of probiotics and cutting carbs isn't doing anything to balance your gut microbiome. You're starving
that bad bacteria, but they're just in hibernation. They're gonna come out the next time you have a cookie or a plate apasta or a piece of bread, and they're gonna go nuts and you're gonna be distended and in pain, and you'll be like, I've been so good, what happened? Because you haven't done.
Anything so suffer from that. Fiona and Lola both have just chronic pain a tummy problem.
When they eat certain foods. So food sensitivies or like that, that bacteria can be very specific to certain food and I know firsthand it was unbelievably annoying. But Health three sixty and the coaches that we've had and that have been working for a long time with Vital and now with Health three sixty, have a protocol that I mean, I'm telling you, I tried for two decades to try to heal my gut. In six months, I did like another gut test. It's almost like it looks like a different human.
This is exciting. I'm going to be texting you all the time. Wait, we did two Christmas movies.
Mister Christmas, we did two together.
I thought those were your only two you did.
Yeah, I've done a couple more.
How many more?
I mean, not all Christmas Christmas, probably like probably eight more or.
No nine, maybe because i've seen you.
Yeah, I've done I've done a bunch more. But yeah, I've done a few through these, thank goodness. Yeah, they've been great to me. Have great American families, which is where kind Heart of Christmas was. I got one coming out this Christmas with Cannabis with Candice Cameron Maurray. I know it's a really sweet one. I know it's gonna have a theatrical release for the first time in Great American Families history.
So yeah, okay, I also just have to always ask, yeah, guess Cameron matheson, what was your last I Choose Me moment?
My last I Choose Me moment was when I went to London to help my son kind of move stuff
from storage into his college apartment flat. And then I added on about six or seven days and I got a rental car and I drove north into the Lake District in northern UK by myself on the wrong side of the car, on the wrong side of the street, other side, and I did a like a six day series of teachings and meditation retreat and rented a little airbnb and was in nature and and it was very healing and and just sort of filled my soul up.
And that was a great gift to myself. Yeah, it was really it was a really good I Choose Me because, like we talked about, it was very healing for me, but in doing so, like I'm so much more of a benefit to others and can be just like you sort of filled the tank of patience and kindness and respect and you know, got all these beautiful teachings that like I just want to like sort of embody in the world, and then at the same time just felt so good myself, so that felt like it was a
real gift. I love no thanks, I love you too.