Welcome back to I Do Part two.
Of course, I'm one of your celebrity mentors, Bob Geinny, and I'm very excited today because I have Jonathan Rone of course from Jones season of the Golden Bachelorette, and Jonathan.
I'm so excited to have you back.
God, you've recently been in the news a little bit lately, right with all the stuff going on, and I know you had.
I know you had a little bit.
Of a little bit of you know, relationship woes recently. But before we get into any of that stuff, you know, obviously, I Do Part two is a show that's geared around people realizing that there is life after divorce, right or
life after our relationship ends. And I think maybe for people who didn't watch, you know, your season of the Golden Bachelorette and things of that new sure they might not know that how you ended up on that show was that, you know, you you had a relationship that split up, that you were into in for quite some time, and you know, tell us tell us a little bit about that, about you know, what got you to the point where you had a chance to find love the second time around.
Oh gosh, you know what I was. I was out there, you know, a single guy, you know, on the dating gaps, and you know, I, I guess my my my pictures attracted you know a certain I guess interest or something like that, and you know, I was, Uh, I was contacted and thought about, you know, what do you think about being on the show with the Golden Bachelorette. And it came. It came out of the blue. So I
was completely blown away. And I thought about it a couple of times, and I thought about how much time I would have to take off work. Do I really want to put myself out there, so to speak like that, you know, on on national TV looking for love? Because you know I'm I'm a pretty private guy. And so that was a big up for me to consider. And I actually said no a couple of times, but then I was I looked at it as that, you know what,
this is once in a lifetime opportunity. The opportunity came to me for a reason, and so I was open to explore that. And so I went through the process. I signed on, and I opened myself up to to see if I could find that that chance of love again. And what a way to do it?
Yeah, for sure, definitely not a little more. You know.
I used to always say to people when they say, you know, did you go on all the dating apps and stuff? I said, no, I find love the old fashioned way on television shows.
That's what I do.
But what led you up to that? I mean, had you how long have you been married previously before you got divorced? Like what was what was your story there?
Yeah?
You know?
Okay, So I was married in two thousand and seven, and prior to prior to meeting my my wife at the time, I was single for two years. I just needed to get out of the dating world and quit you know, falling in falling in love and in out
of love and things like that. I just wanted to get myself together, get my heart together, my spirit together, just like you know, just what what are some really good characteristics to be a guy that has integrity and character and things like that to meet the woman of his dreams. And so, after two years, a friend of mine introduced me to someone and it was like love at first sight for me, and so we dated for
about ten and a half months. I proposed in Jamaica and she said she said yes, and so so that was it. So we were married for gosh, close to seven years, had two kids at the time of the divorce. You know, my daughter was I think around six, my son was three, and so so that was a difficult transition. We're but we're really close family now and the kids
are doing great. But after my divorce, I mean I literally I think I I got to the point where I think my heart and spirit healed and I was like, you know what, I gosh, what would it be like to eight again? You know? Yeah, yeah, And so I think that was like a year and a half or two years before I actually got on the first dating app, which was a Christian Mingo dating app, and okay, end up getting Catfish my first tryouts.
No way, you did not.
Actually I actually sent money to Ghana.
Oh no, that's okay.
Well, okay, you got to explain this to me, because I've seen the show on MTV. How did you get Catfish? You're a smart guy, clearly, you're you know, you're you're I'm sure you're you're pretty guarded with you know, your your heart and everything.
I mean, how did you end up getting into that situation?
Well? You know what, I I had never heard of what Catfish was before I never knew about the show or anything like that. So, you know, like I said, I went on Christian Mingo was what it was, you know, because I was thinking, you know, if I'm looking for another second chance of love, I wanted to have some core values of Christianity because I'm you know, grew up Catholic and so I that's part my faith. And so I wanted to find a woman that would, you know,
have those core values. And so I was attracted to this really, really pretty picture profile and we started communicating and she was saying that she was from Ghana, she wants to come over and we can start a relationship and things like that, and so I was all in and I told the guys at work, you know, hey, I think I found someone. I kind of told them that I was on this dating app and they were just cracking up. They're like, man, you got Catfish. You're
getting catfish? And I'm like, what is that? And so I checked out the show Catfish and I'm like, wow, am I getting Catfish? And so I started to read some of the signs and lo and behold, after I sent the money, I figured that I was I was Catfish. Because this person man or woman behind this behind the scene you know, was asking like, you know what what wireless service was my telephone and was starting to ask me account information, so I knew. I was like, you know what, I felt attempt.
So well that's the word. Now do you mind me asking how much money did you send?
It was like sixty bucks?
Oh, thank god? Okay, So and Bob, here's here's the thing I had.
I had did a I had did a a modeling, a cover or magazine shoot in Kansas City which I was on the cover, and I thought, you know, I would send a copy of this magazine with me on the cover over to Ghana and I shipped email, so I shipped it via mail, and so who knows where that ended up?
So oh my god, you know I mean that that probably changes the way you do things now. Now you're immediately on the dating app first person, You're like, okay, we can FaceTime.
Let's FaceTime right now? Right?
Well, you know what, you know what after the show, after I came back from the show, I haven't I haven't even been on the dating app since I think it's yeah, yeah, how.
Do you how do your kids feel about you being back in the dating world. I mean, obviously you seem like a pretty sensitive guy to me, and my guess would be that you probably And I say this as a divorced man. I say this anytime I talk to someone, whether they're thinking about going through divorce or whether they're going through it, I always say, Look, I'm just going
to say this to you straight up. Divorce sucks, even if you want, even if you're the person that wants the divorce, trust me, and I tell you it sucks because there's always there's always regret, there's always heartbreak, there's always especially with children involved. I can't you know, I when I was divorced, I we didn't have children, and so I can't even imagine how the stakes are so much higher there.
And it just hurts, right, I mean, no matter how you look at it, it hurts.
Yeah. Yeah, there's a certain I was just thinking about that this morning. It's kind of crazy that you're asking me that, because there's a there's a certain sense of brokenness. I think as a as a father, you know, because you know when I, you know, when I when I had these these ideas of starting a family and and you know, and and and having kids. It was like, you know what I thought of us being a whole family unit, but now it's a different story. And so
so being being a single father so to speak. Is that Uh every now and then and after all this healing that I went through, and I feel like, while I'm definitely back at myself now, uh, something will happen that will trigger something, and uh it triggers that brokenness or that situation, and it brings a sadness there, a certain sense of sadness. And that's that's the part that sucks.
You know, Yeah, I get that. I get that totally.
That's where the humility and acceptance and accepting life on life terms comes in and you just, yeah, just move forward.
Man, You're such a sweetheart of a guy. Man.
I I was I was happy to hear when I when I heard that you were in a relationship earlier on in the year, I was happy to hear about that.
But part of me now now.
Knowing that it didn't quite work out, and and you know, are you are you disappointed that you know that you missed out on some opportunities like you know, vaster and Paradise and and things of that nature that you you would have gone on to do, uh, you know, some more of this fun stuff, because I know you kind of you kind of if I'm not mistaken, you said no thanks because you were already in a relationship and that's why you didn't want to go do that other show, right.
Yeah, for the Bachelor in Paradise said, I said no thanks because because I was I was broken up. You know, our relationship ended like the first of the year. Five has just not been my year. Yes, that's how That's how it started off. And so at the time that the opportunity came my way, I was still going through heartbreak and you know I felt that that, you know, being in Paradise, it just wasn't sitting well with me.
And you know what is like, you know, Bob, to be honest with you, I mean, it's like, you know, I appreciate the opportunity of being asked like that, but being on the Golden Bachelorette, that opportunity was a once in a lifetime opportunity for me, and I genuinely believed that I opened my heart up to that opportunity to
find love and it didn't work out that way. And so I guess I would say I would be disingenuous if I wanted to go back on the show to find love again, because I looked at the Golden bachl my one opportunity, and I found out what I needed to find out. So that was it was a great journey. It was a blessed journey. But that blurt that journey is ended, and so uh, I was just wanting to move on and move on with my life, so to speak.
And I think that if I would have put myself in the Bachelor in Paradise, it would have reopened wounds, so to speak, and I I would have thrown away a lot of healing that I just went through.
So no, I I appreciate that.
Well, you know I, I guess it's probably the best time to tell you.
Then.
I was calling to tell you that we were going to ask you to be the Golden Bachelor, but it doesn't sound like you're interested. So would you ever consider that?
I mean, now, let me let me just say this to you, because I I understand where you're coming from from the disingenuous part, I really do, But I want to say this so I think sometimes you know you can because you remind me a little bit and and I'm giving myself a very nice compliment here, but you remind myself a little bit of me and how I felt post divorce, and I feel like, you know, you can be you can kind of cut yourself off from
additional opportunities because you think that there's the right way and the wrong way to do things.
But sometimes you never know. Man, maybe second time or third times a charm, right.
So I mean, if they were to call you and say, hey, we want you to be the Golden Bachelor, do you think you could evaluate that opportunity and look at it from the standpoint of Okay, the last time I did this, I was with twenty five guys meeting one woman. That one woman found her soulmate in another person, and I have to respect that. However, I did open up my heart. I did find that I was open for the opportunity
for love. Maybe if I let these incredibly talented producers find twenty five women, maybe one of them might be the right person for me and might jive with me, right, Because I mean, I will say, you know, when I was the Bachelor, I did not end up proposing to any of the women on my show, but I was I love the thing that I had the opportunity to meet them, and it really made me ready for love.
Like I knew after doing that show.
Even though I didn't find my person on that show, I realized what I wanted in a partner and I was trying to be a little more discerning, and you know, it really kind of almost prepared me for Okay, I'm going to go through this and I'm going to find this person.
So I mean, it is possible.
And I always say to my wife, I say to Canyon all the time, I'm like, amen, we would have never met if we're for the Bachelor.
Like granted you were in high school when I was on the show. Let's not think about it that way.
Let's think about the fact that many years later, because of those experiences, lying up the way they did. I believe in the butterfly effect. You know, had I not done those certain things, I would have never met her.
And that may very well be out there waiting for you.
You know.
I mean, have you ever thought about it that way? Or are you kind of hell bent on I did it once, I'm never going to do it again.
Okay, So what is what has recently happened in the past few months or so. I think that on one side, on one side of your question, I would have loved that opportunity. I think that opportunity was there for me. I was I guess I would say I was ready for that opportunity. And if I guess, you could say I was the cherry on the top of the cherry on the tree that was ripe and ready to be picked, you know. And and so I, you know, I was anticipating to see if it was gonna come my way.
And you know, the the things turned out the way that they did, and so you know, that was that was my indication, you know, that that that that opportunity, that once in an lifetime opportunity to be the Golden Bachelor was either there or it wasn't meant to be. And so so the way things turned out, that just that just let me know that it wasn't it wasn't meant to be for me. And and and and that being said, I mean, on one side, it is like, you know what if it had been man, I would
have I would have had a blast. Man, I would have I would have had you know, from the experience of being on the Golden Bachelorette and being familiar with uh, with the producers and the background and things like that, and just being coming of age of who I was as a guy and where I've my uh, where I've grown to be. I think I I think I would have been I would have had so much fun and I you know, I definitely would have been looking for
the right person of twenty five. But now on the other side, you know that that journey is that's somebody else's journey. So I'm on a different journey, and uh, if that opportunity was out there in the future, I would say that I would probably have to do a hard pass on it, because I'm not doing a hard lunch. But but I would just say that I uh, I wouldn't be able to uh to accept.
Here's the thing.
I mean, twenty twenty five, like you said, was not a great starting of the year. But we can help turn this around. I mean, I don't know if you saw, but you know one of your mansion man, Gary, he's in a relationship now. That's exciting. Are you in a new relationship right now? And if not, you know, I mean,
we got a lot of female listeners. I think probably ninety percent of our listenership and our viewership on this is probably female, and I happen to know that they think you are a pretty good looking dude.
My man and I have a pretty strong.
Indication that there are several women out there listening that would love to meet you.
But you know, we got hey, we got the holidays coming up. I get it. I mean, are you in a relationship right now? Are you? Are you flying solo? And are you keeping it that way?
Well, you know what, I'm glad. I'm glad that you asked me that because I kind of felt that that was that was gonna happen, you know, so, like I had said on a previous podcast, you know that I tried to do my best to you know, with the experience of you know, announcing that relationship publicly and what happened after that and just kind of guarding my private life. But uh, but I but I will say, you know, I I you know, Bob, I'll just let you know that, uh that I'm I'm a spoken I'm spoken.
For Okay, all right, I like that.
I'll just leave it at that. It's like, you know, it just reminds me of is like, you know, my my heart's my heart is back in a place where you know, it reminded me of a Christopher Marlowe poem goes something like, go something like it's about the passionate, the passionate shepherd to his love. He's like, come live with me and be my love, and we will all these pleasures prove that valleys, groves, hills and fields, woods
or steepy mountains field or steepy mountains yield. And so that that poem just resonates with me because I'm just looking to share my life with someone that's looking to enjoy the simple things this life. It's it's not about the materialistic, it's not about the money. It's about being connected with nature and being connected with each other.
And so yeah, yeah, I love it, man, I love it. I love you. I love the way you are, I love your attitude.
I love You're such a kind and gentle dude, man, And I always appreciated that about you. So many of the guys from the Golden franchise I've loved getting to know over the last several years, and you know, feel like we're friends and feel like, you know, at the end of the day, it's one of those things, you know, we all have this kind of unusual bond of something that we've done.
That's really weird, right that, you know. I mean it's crazy because I.
Did I did it twenty years ago and it's still go in the day, which is bananas to me. But it's one of those things when you when you look at it, the experiences are pretty similar, you know, like I always like in Joe and season to the fact that you know, when I was on Trista's season, the guys we just got along great, you know, like we
just we were truly buddies. And and you can see that with you all, you know, with your your crew, still being friends, still keeping in touch, and you know, and it's still root, still genuinely.
Rooting for each other. And you can see that. You know.
That's one of the things I love the most about all you eyes. And I just think it's pretty awesome to see. How has it been watching this season of The Golden Bachelor knowing, you know, knowing how close you were to possibly be in that guy? I mean, how interesting is it for you to watch the show unfold this year? Yeah?
You know, uh, I've watched just a little bit, you know, I've watched like the premiere the opening, and then I watched I think, like the one episode and then like maybe the half of the second, you know, I you know, I just got to the point where I just gosh, like I said, man, twenty twenty five has just been a year of hard knocks, so to speak, spiritually and emotionally.
And uh, one of the one of the things I needed to do for myself, for my self care was in a certain sense, kind of disassociate myself from that, you know, because you know, there was there was so much on the line with you know, gosh, is the Golden Bachelor is going to come my way? What would
happen if it does? And blah blah blah, and and and thinking that I had a fan base that was supporting that, and you know, all these emotion highs and lows, and and then like you know, then when the selection was made, it was it was like it was like a gut punch, you know. So yeah, yeah, and so I had to recover. I had to recover from that, and part of and part of my recovery was, like, you know what, I I wanted to disengage myself from it.
And so so I've watched a little bit of it, but I've I've kind of steered away from it not to get so caught up into it. You know, I know that you know, with the with the with with a statement that kind of made the headlines. You know, I was just you know, supporting, supporting mail. You know, if it was a mistake, you know that uh, that his apology was genuine, hopefully that it was genuine, and that it was accepted by the women as genuine, and then uh, you know that he could find find love.
And so that was that was my main I think my main push for watching the show for.
What I no, I get it and I and I get that disassociation part too. I think everybody, everybody reaches a point where it's kind of like, Okay, I need to take a step back, you know, I need to get my real life back in check here, and then maybe I can go back and dabble. I mean I I probably did that as well, you know at some point along the along the way, because you know, it's when you're married for a couple of years and you're still known as Bash or Bob and your kids are like, what,
it's kind of weird. So sometimes it's like, you know, I need to pump the brakes on this part of my life for a minute, and I'll come back to it. So I respect that.
It's almost like, you know, it's a it's a reality TV show, but it's not reality, you know, because it's in a certain sense it's not reality. And then you know, if you do find love and you're and you you have a relationship, then that becomes the reality. But then outside of that, it's like you know, when I when I go into the Dollar the you know, to the local stores here in town, and and every now and then, as time has passed, someone will say, hey, aren't weren't
you the guy? Weren't you the guy on the golden on the Golden betsurette? And that feels good. Yeah, it almost it almost takes me out of my reality, so to speak, and it makes me jump back into that that work. And it's like, you know what, but I but I don't get me wrong, I do like to be uh. I like the recognition every now and then. I like the spotlight.
I think I think anybody who says they don't, I mean, there's only one guy and this is God's honest truth, one human being. I say guy because I'll go guy, because I don't know the women as well from the different seasons.
But one guy that I've ever met.
In the history of this franchise, and I've been around since the first season of the Bacherette and the fourth season of The Bachelor, only one that I can say genuinely does not want any recognition, genuinely.
Skirts away from it. And that's Trista's husband, Ryan Sutter.
Ryan is one of the few guys and if you meet him, you'll you'll see this.
He's he's not like Anti. It's just he doesn't need it.
And the rest of us kind of feed off of it a little bit, like I love like my wife will go does it ever get.
Old for you? And I'm like, no, everyone's always so nice. I love it. You know, it's fun, it's it's engaging, it keeps me, you know.
But it's like, you know, Ryan doesn't need it, like Trista and I will go to events with Ryan and my wife and the two.
Of them will go off and watch us walk.
The red carpet and do our thing, and and it's funny, you know, so I get it. It's like it's like, you know, and who knows, maybe I was going to ask you two questions about this the person you're seeing, and obviously we're gonna keep that kind of low key. Do you think the two of you have a lot of similarities from personality perspective? Is she even more private than you? Is she more out there than you? More personality like what is what is the vibe there? Oh?
Yeah, definitely more definitely more private. And it's like, you know what, as you know, and she has she has such a wonderful heart. It's like, you know what she she looked and considered she put in consideration of you know,
you know, I'm still associated with the show. I've still got like fourteen fifteen thous or gosh, fifteen thousand followers, like you said that are mostly women, and so there's yeah, yeah, so she has to she's dealt with that, you know, and uh and the anxiety that she's gotten from that, and so her heart went out to you know, previous you know, my previous relationship. You know that that the
anxiety that she probably went through. And and I never really looked at it from that perspective because I'm like, I was enjoying the limelight. I enjoyed like putting myself out there. But she, uh, she made it. She made me look at it this way. Well what is yeah, what if the shoes were on the other foot and she was She's got fifteen thousand guys that are messenger telling her, you know, how hot she looks and things like that, How would I feel? And I never thought
of it that way? And so, uh so we have the mutual respect and understanding about that, and uh yeah, that's a really really core value that we do have that with each other.
No, that's nice.
I mean, at the end of the day, that's one of those things you kind of got to have some type of agreement and understanding, you know, like there definitely is additional pressures there, there's no question you know.
So I definitely I understand that.
It's one of these things that I've learned it even in my golden years. Is sixty two boundaries, Yeah, considered boundaries and how important boundaries are. And that's a boundary you know when a woman, when a woman opens her heart up to you and wants to open up more to you, and you got to know what the boundaries are.
Yeah, well that's nice. Yeah, it's nice to be respectful of that. I mean, you know, so that's that's obviously something that people need to take more seriously. Let's get into a couple of just lighthearted questions because I know you've been around a little bit.
Now, you've dated a lot.
You know, I'd like to hear what your thoughts are on this. So you know, obviously, people as we get older, I'm fifty four, you're sixty two. People as we get older, things shift, right, things get a little bit different for us after a certain age. What are some things that you think in your experience of dating? Obviously, I think boundaries is one of them that that should be more important,
right and and and recognizing those and respecting those. What are some things after the age of fifty while dating that you think people should lighten up a little bit on, Like are there any things that you encountered where you were just like what are you doing? You know, like let it go or or anything like that that maybe kind of struck you as after a certain age, we should probably kind of chalk that one up.
Anything anything out there that makes you think like that.
Gosh, you know what I think I think maybe the intentionality I think, you know, I think if you if you if you want to go into a relationship or going to the dating world, know what your intentions are? Are you looking for are you looking to date? Are you looking to date around? You know, and that person, that other person needs to know that if they're open, if they're open for that, then that kind of leads to lightheartedness.
Uh.
But then there's the intentionality is like, you know what, are you looking to get married? That changes the whole that changes the whole script of things, you know, And so like I was thinking about intentionality the other day. I don't even know why I think about Sometimes I think about metaphors. They helped me like put things in perspective.
I was thinking intentionality as far as like getting married or finding someone to marry is almost like, you know, when you book a plane somewhere the most the most romantic destination you want to go to. Are you going to book direct are you gonna are you gonna have connecting flights for me? For me? Intentionality, if you're looking to find that one person, it's almost like booking a
direct flight. You know what you know, you know point A, you know point B. So I'm at the point now that at sixty two with you know, with with dating before married and then getting divorced, and then dating after divorce, and then the relationships after the show. I'm not looking for connecting flights. I'm not looking for baggage. I'm not looking to see if I'm going to lose any luggage in the transition. I'm looking for a direct a direct.
Flight, direct flight. Yeah, you're going point A to point B. I like that, I mean, and that's true.
You know, I've often said a lot about like with the Golden Franchise one of the things, like for example, with UH with Gary and Teres for example, where I thought they kind of you know, missed on it was I.
Thought, man, you know why?
And here again, I mean, it's obviously something that's important to you too, Like it sounds like you do want to be married again, or you you at least want to have that that committed companionship with someone, you know. For them, I was like, they got grandkids, you know, in different places, Like it's gonna be really hard to
get married and leave your grandkids. Like you know, I guess every situation is different, and everybody's different with what they need of a relationship, and you know, those things have to be weighed and measured, and you have to think about them and like you said, they have to be respected. When you hear people say things like like kind of superfluous things like oh, you know, I would not date a guy who's under six foot and I will not date a guy who's you know, over seventy.
You know, do you think that kind of stuff. Isn't that getting kind of ridiculous at this point? Or do you think that it's one of those things where love is love and if you find it, you find it and you're lucky no matter how it's packaged.
Yeah, I think that. I think it is pretty ridiculous if you put those kind of like measures on yourself, because yeah, you may be looking, you may be cutting out the great opportunity to meet the best person in your life, you know. Yeah, And like you said, love love,
love is love and love love knows. I mean, once once Cupid draws back, that arrow man knee shoots, just like you know what, you don't know what hits you, and you you might be looking for the specific person height, age, hair color, and then all of a sudden someone comes out of the blue and you're like, what the what the hell happened?
Yeah, well, sound think that's what happened to you. You were you were pretty much bound to termined. Twenty twenty five was going to be a disaster. Oh and now you've kind of already started that turnaround process.
And it sounds like finding someone special. And you know, I'm sure you know with the age your kids.
Are at too. Now, I've kind of I'm a pretty good math guy. So I'm guessing there what late teens.
Probably my my daughter, My daughter is seventeen, she's a senior in high school now, and yeah, she and her team are killing it on the volleyball court. They're thirty six and so far this year on the feat, you haven't even lost one set.
Wow.
My son is thirteen, he's going to be fourteen here next month, and he's in the seventh grade. So yeah, they are growing and and yeah, so it's like you know what, you know, I've had my fair shake at the relationships, you know, And you know, Bob, it's like, you know what I've always, I've always I don't want to say I'm naive at love, but it's like you know what I I just when I fall in love, I fall hard and I fall fast. And so you know, what's what's happening now is that we're in our time.
I have someone in my life that's saying, you know what, slow down? You know?
Yeah, well, and you had your kids a little later too, Like I mean you had your kids sounding like forty five and forty eight, forty five and forty So I.
Have my daughter when I was forty six forty six.
Okay, yeah, so I had you know, my first child.
You know, we have our first child when I was forty eight forty eight, and then my second when we were fifty. So, I mean, you're kind of in a weird, a different spot from a dating divorce guy who's technically golden right, because most of the goldens, I guess would have probably the majority if they if they've got kids, they are probably married with kids and their grandpa's You're not right. You got kids in high school, you got younger kids still, So does that factor in when you're dating?
Like do you how how soon? How soon do you tell the story of your divorce? How soon do you bring up the kids? When do they get to meet the kids?
Like?
How I mean, is there is there some hard fast rules for you on that stuff?
Uh? Like I said, with the intentionality all that, all that kind of came out in the beginning conversations. Yeah, yeah, you know, you know exactly who you are, who I am, what's going on in your life. And then just like you know, then you have the then you have the choice of whether you want to continue to go on
and go on with that or not. And so uh so yeah, so uh so there's continuity there and uh and so, like it was kind of funny though, like when the show is like you know when when uh, you know, being Golden and uh and it was, and people had found out that I had younger kids. Yeah, I was just cracking up with some of the comments because they were thinking that my kids were like, you know, they're like, well, who's going to want to date a guy that's got you know, they're going to take care
of his kids, like like their infants or toddlers. I'm like, you know what, you know, my my daughter's in high school, my son's going to be in high school the next day. You know what, I'm pretty much close to being an empty mester. I mean I'm like basically basically five years away, and so meeting someone with the intentionality of like knowing that Hey, I'm looking at a five year window basically of you know, getting my kids through school when they're
off and doing their own things. Like you know what, if we've already built a five year relationship and I'm ready to spread my wings and relocate somewhere, then we've already got a good foundation for that beginning to happen.
Yeah. No, it makes sense to me. I get it.
And I was thinking about that because I mean, not that I'm playing on, you know, getting divorced, but I would be that guy, right, I'd be you know, when I'm sixty two. I mean, geez, when I'm sixty two, that would be what eight years for me. Grayson would be fourteen, you know, Blake would be twelve, so be right in that same you know, Wheelhouse, I guess a little bit.
Younger for you than what you've got.
But yeah, well, I mean at the end of the day, I would have to imagine that a lot of the uh relationship qualities that that you're looking for, you know, I would imagine you're looking for someone with some empathy, You're looking for someone with a big heart, someone who you know is willing to allow you to be yourself, but also isn't afraid to let you know what they need from you. And it sounds like she's done that and you're perfectly capable and happy with uh, with the
way things are going. So for that, I'm I'm so excited to hear. I mean, you're such a great guy, and I love seeing you happy, buddy, And you can tell that you've found someone who is making you happy, so you know, good for you.
And here's the thing too, about with the with the intentionality and kind of knowing what we both are looking for, it kind of spares me in a sense that of things if if we find out that maybe it's not meant to be and we're but we've got this opportunity
to be friends. What happens, though, is that what has happened in my previous relationships is that jumping in fast and falling out fast is really really destroys my heart and spirit this last relationship, man, I mean it, it really, it really really hurt, and and so it gives me the opportunity to say, you know, i'd look back and say, you know what, if I don't want to feel that kind of that kind of pain again, then uh, yeah,
maybe I do need to take it slow. When I find that person again, you know, what are those boundaries and what are those intentions and things like that, because if if we find out, you know, after getting to know each other and and kind of knowing what we're walking into and what we both want. But if it doesn't work out, least we know that we can walk away friends and I won't feel like I'm falling off the cliffs somewhere with right.
You know, yeah, I get that.
I mean that that's kind of part of it too, Like I always think about that with people you know that are dating, that are single with with children. You know, you never want to take your kids down that path too often either, Right, So it's like, exactly, God bid you keep introducing them to everybody that you think is gonna be the next great thing, and they and that person's gone, and now that your kids are like, you
know what's going on. You know, I'm sure it's confusing. So, you know, good for you on being a little more protective of that. You know, I think it's hard when you're I mean, because I get it. You know, you fall in love and you think this is it, this is the greatest thing in the world, and then now he probably be a little bit of time. You have that retrospect or you can look back and you're like, Okay, I can see why this didn't work right, and I'm
gonna change this moving forward. I'm gonna do something different this next time around. And you know, so, I think, well, one thing I think this is kind of great too, is now that you and Gary are both dating.
I mean, you know, you guys rolling into Detroit. We'll grab canyon, we'll all go out on double date. We'll go triple date, triple date. What do you say, right? Yeah?
When are you guys swinging through the detown anytime soon? The motor city needs you, buddy.
Yeah. Yeah, Well you know I've never been to Detroit.
Oh buddy, that's a loss.
Well I will say this, if you haven't been able to get here before about the middle of November, wait till spring.
The winners are brutal.
But how about this, because I do think you're someone who would you strike me as someone who would.
Give very good advice. Do you have any parting.
Words, you know, any anything that you could say to people out there who you know, I think are going through divorce or going through a relationship breakup and who are you know, maybe feeling a little helpless right now, or maybe feeling a little bit defeated, you know, anything that you could share with them, because I mean, you even said one of the things you said that I didn't really touch on, but I heard it, and I don't want you to think I didn't, but I heard
you say, you know, you were beginning to wonder if there.
Was something wrong with you, and maybe you know you weren't. Are you know, not lovable?
Not feeling you know, I get why people feel that when they're going through those hard times, and I've definitely been there myself.
But any advice that you have.
Now that you're where you're at right now emotionally and spiritually and everything else that you could give people while they're going through a dark time.
Like that, Yeah, I tell you it's the advice I would give is that you know what you know? Uh, I understand that that love is not for the faint at heart. You know, it's a it's a wonderful feeling to fall in love. It's a wonderful feeling to be in love, but when you when it happens, when it when when things end suddenly or they they just stop.
Uh.
It hurts, and it's a human emotion, and it's like, you know what, it's an emotion to uh, to embrace, it's an emotion to feel, you know, and uh, as difficult as it is, you know, you know, if you get to the point where you know you're you know, isolating, you know, reach out to one of your closest friends that you feel that you can confide in, that you can say whatever you need to say to that person and and trust that they're not going to repeat anything,
but that you are able to get something out to someone, That you can get something out of your heart to share with someone, and so, uh that's part of the healing process. And so uh, you definitely need to take time for yourself. For me, I'm a pretty spiritual guy, and so you know, I relied on a lot of a prayer and meditation and then when I when I do get isolated, I try to get out of the
house or I go to the gym. It's tough to even it's tough to even want to go into the gym to work out when you're feeling like that.
Yeah, yeah, well because you feel like everybody's yeah, happier than you and looking at you sideways, it's like, what's wrong with that dude?
You know or whatever? I get it. Yeah, I've been there.
But once you once you start taking those steps on the cardio machine or you start lifting those weights that resistant exercise, you get those kind of like endorphins going inside of you and you start feeling a little physical strength back. You know, because you've probably been laying around, you probably haven't been eating eating, and so you're probably
physically weak. And so when you start putting nutrition back in your body and you start working out and getting out in a little bit, your strengthen your body and your mind and your soul. And then just and just take your time, you know, don't try to rush back into things. You know. It's like, you know, you can't rush being happy. You know, uh R want the gratification of instant happiness, but the happiness is a result is a byproduct of doing estimable things.
You know.
I know that when I felt low and broken hearted and and you know, I felt like my self esteem was just really really low. And a good friend of mine told me is that, you know what, when you're going through stuff like that, do esteamable things, whether It's as simple as you know, what if you've if you've just been letting your dishes pile up in the sink because you don't have the energy or spirit to wash your dishes. Go wash your dishes. Yeah, go clean the sink,
Go wash your car. Go. I love to vacuum.
Vacuuming is way, That's what I do every day. It's my favorite.
Man.
I love the vacuum.
Yeah, it's knew I liked you. I'm a big vacuum guy.
You know what I think, you know, like what you said earlier, I think you know you and I are I think like a kindred spirits. It's like almost like you know, we're like spitting image of image of mirrors of each other. You know.
Oh my god, if I'm a buddy, I've never been better looking, then thank you for that. You're a handsome man, brother. I'll take it. No, I'm just I'm making life, But no, thank you. I I definitely think that. I mean a lot of the things you've said today and in your past interviews too, when I've seen him pop up, I mean, they resonate. You know, I've I think we've all been there.
People hate to admit it. That they've been there. But you know, I was fortunate enough to find some great people to talk to, you know, I mean I went to therapy. You know, I wasn't afraid to lean on that. And it wasn't a bad word for me. In fact, it helped me quite a bit to you know. I used to jokingly say, my mom and I just took a little trip with my mom this past weekend. I told her, I said, you know what they say, mom,
if it isn't one thing, it's your mother. And she just starts laughing, you know, like just getting just kid. But it was funny because you know, I had such a great childhood growing up, and I had you know, so part of me was like, you know, well, gosh, why am I not able to find a successful relationship?
You know.
And I think a lot of it was based on my expectation and needing to find the right person who was willing to let me be me but was also willing to call me out, call me out when I needed it, and uh and you know, and and I think I've found that. And it's like, you know, and it's one of those things that sometimes it takes some
of us longer than others, right. So I mean from that perspective, as long as you're never going to stop looking for whatever will complete you in whatever way you need to be completed, I think that's that's part of the process too. And I love to hear that you're you're doing that, and I love that you found someone that you know is filling your cup. You know, so good for you, my friend. Nothing, nothing can make me happier than to see you happy.
And Bob, check this out. There's there's something new that that I was introduced to that I that I never knew in any of my previous relationships. The five stages of love. Are you familiar with those?
No? I know the five stages of grief. I don't know the five stages of love.
This is good, Okay, So the five stages of love, if I can remember them correctly. Okay, So the first stages, you know, the obvious one. It's like you meet someone's tacular and you're like heads over heels over each other and everything is lovey dovey and all this other stuff, holding hands, kissing and whatever the case may be.
Uh.
Step two is the uh Step two is the is the critical stage that I found out that uh, that a lot of people get stuck in and can't get out of. And then that's where a lot of great relationships probably end. It's the uh, it's the stage where you know, you're starting to really get to know that person and some of those important questions that need to
be asked. Once they're asked, either you put up your walls of defensiveness and you walk away, or you get get into little arguments or whatever and you can't get past stage two. Yeah, so that's where a lot of people get stuck and uh. And then the third stage is the third stage is that you know, uh, you know, you pretty much got to handle You got out of stage two, everything is great. Then stage four is like, you know what, you can really imagine your life with
this person. You start doing things where you're actually building your life with that person. You you understand who that person is. And then stage five is that that's that's that's the honeymoon stage basically right there is that you are you are going to spend the rest of your life with that person. Stage five. One of the things that I one of the things that I remember when I was after going through the divorce, I mean, I was like sitting in the car by myself, just broken hearted.
And I was in in downtown Omaha and I saw walking down the street this couple. I think they must must have been in their nineties. I mean, but they were in great shape walking down the street. But they were walking hand in hand, and I was thinking, as old as they are, they're still walking hand in hand. So there obviously have been in stage five for a long time. They got past stage two. So I would say to anyone that's maybe going through something right now,
think of it. Look at it as stage too. This is this is a difficult stage that if you really care about that person, you really think that you want to spend more time and maybe you're time with that person, you got to get out of stage two. Answer difficult questions, humble, humble yourself, and expose yourself and be really really vulnerable.
No, I love that man. You speaking of being vulnerable, I mean, thank you for sharing.
I mean, you know, this is stuff that I know isn't easy to talk about all the time, and so I really appreciate you being on the pod with us. I really appreciate you sharing that and sharing your feelings and your experiences. You know, a lot of people relate to you, man, and and I think whether whether it's.
You know, because you're you're a sweet and kind person, or whether you put it out there or whatever it might be.
You know, there's a lot of people that aren't deserving of the attention they get, and I always thought that you were, and I think that you are and U and I appreciate you. So I'm glad that you were willing to come on the show and talk about this and be vulnerable and be open about it and share where you're at with things.
I think.
I think I'm not the only one who's sitting here really happy for how things are shaping up for your twenty twenty five as you roll into twenty twenty six, given that it started like a disaster.
So I'm really happy to hear about the rebound.
Well, man, it's good to be back on the show with you. It's good to see your face and your smile. And you're dimp on man, you know what, you know, you got one hell of a dimple too.
My brother, Oh, I know, we got Boddy.
I'm telling you, man, if we got to figure out the top part of this, but otherwise we're twins.
Just shave it.
Just shave it off. You'll enjoy it.
Oh no, I kind of. I'm pretty fortunate right now.
I was thinking about the other day when my buddies like, I know you color your hair. I said, I swear to you, I've never colored my hair. He's like, you're fifty four, you have no grades. I'm like, oh, buddy, I've got grays. I just got really thick hair. You s aren't seeing them yet. Trust you get close enough. But thank you, buddy. I love you being on the show. I'm happy for your happiness. I hope we can connect sometime soon.
Well, Bob, you know what, it's good to see. It's good to see you. I love I love seeing the images of you with your family and your kids. It's like, you know what, it's like, you know when I when I see that, you know, when I see you, it's like, you know, I see it's like, you know what. I love that. I love seeing your happiness with your family. And so just keep it up, my brother.
Thank you, brother.
The same to you, Jonathan, Jonathan rowd everybody, thank you so much for joining us, buddy, and for everybody else out there.
I mean, let us know, you know, if you're ready to.
Date again, you need some help Davigt navigating your dating landscape. Call us or email us the show. The email infos of the show notes, so make sure you check it out. Follow us on the socials. Make sure to ready to review the podcast. It's I Do Part two, an iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is the main objective.