Hello, everyboday. How are you? I'm back with another ninety die UK fionce UK in the UK Recap. Yes, the UK franchise is back, and I am so so exaued. Okay, I'm not going to do the recap in a British accent because my British accent is in fact, so freaking terrible. I just can't do it no matter how much I try. Okay, So can you imagine, like if it was one person like Sophie and Rob out of the entire cast, and I'm only doing my really awful British
accent action accent for Sophie, that's different. But the entire cast has an accent, So I'm not gonna be doing a horrible accent for the entirety of the recap. But I am so excited for the season of UK. UK
is just supreme. All right. Let's begin with Charlotte. She's thirty four years old and she's a hair I feel like she's going through what I'm going through right now, where everybody around you is starting to settle down, and you feel like the odd one out because you're the only one not dating or with a significant other or not planning to have kids, although Charlotte's different because she wants those things. She wants to find her husband, and she wants
to have kids, So that's got to be more tough. I'm in the position where I'm like, I don't want those things, but everybody is doing it, and I feel like there's something wrong with me, and I feel left out because everyone is collectively doing something like they're sharing an experience, a life experience that I'm not, And even though I don't want it, it's almost like I want it just so that I can do what everyone else is
doing. Does that make sense? Yeah? So anyway, she met Johan in dr and when she said Johan, did she say Johan or did she say Johan? Because I feel like when we met him on the show, he said Johan. All Han my toy boy. So I met my Jihan when I was on holiday with my mom and my stepdad. My name's Joan. Want to get her probably, so I'm going to refer to him as Johan. She met Johan in the Dominican Republic when she was on vacation with her parents. He was working at a hotel that they were staying at,
and they spent two nights together. How awkward is that to be like, hey, mom, dad, I'll see you in two days because I'm going to spend the next two nights with that Hattie mctaddy over there, you know, the employee at the result that I don't really know but I just met. So after the vacation ended, she went back home and they talked every single night for four months, and then she went back to see him again
and they got engaged. I found it so cute that because he's learning English from an English person, his English is with an English accent, you know, instead of like Hi, he's not learning Hi, how are you? He's learning Hi, how are you? You know? Isn't that so funny? Isn't that so weird? So Charlotte goes to meet her friends at a restaurant and they're all like, oh my god, I can't believe you're getting
married. And she's like, yeah, here's a picture of him. And they're all like, whoa how old is he because he looks kind of young. And she's like, oh, he's twenty one, and they're like he's twenty one. Oh my god, he's a child. Oh wow, Okay, good for you, Charlotte. How old is say, ah, he's twenty one, twenty one, Oh my god, I'm a cougar. Wow. People wouldn't boun Eilid if I was forty three, and maybe he was in his thirties, but because he's still in his twenties, it does sound
a lot worse. Uh yeah, because he's twenty one, brain hasn't even fully matured or developed yet. So her friends are asking her a bunch of questions and we learn that she doesn't like what he does for work, because he's part of the entertainment crew of the resort or the hotel, and so basically his job is to flirt with women and to make everybody feel very comfortable, because the flirtier he is, the more tips he gets, and he
lives off those tips. So it makes Charlotte feel really insecure and worried that he's just going to find another girl that he likes better. Now it's finally time to meet Johann and oh my god, I was shocked that, like we've only seen his photos right in person, like when he's in live action, he looks even younger. Where you're from, Florida, Oh into really Kadans cares by the poor page. He literally looks like a high school kid.
We see him doing his job and he basically interacts with all the guests. Like I said, he makes sure that they're having a good time, and it kind of seems like he does a little bit of everything. He's not in one spot of the hotel. He just kind of goes around everywhere personally. From what we've seen on this episode, nothing about his job seemed alarming to me, like I wouldn't be that paranoid. I don't really understand why Charlotte is so worried. You know, he's not giving women lap dances,
He's not stripping or anything like that. And with the money he makes, he supports his entire family, like his mom and his siblings, and recently his mom had surgery and Charlotte helped out with their medication costs and the mom is very grateful. It's not a mortality, how my family, because all my life, you know, my family home me and now it's my time for helping. So he's talking with his buddy and he tells him his
plan. As soon as he gets to England, He's gonna get a job as a Spanish tutor or a teacher and he wants to charge twenty to thirty dollars an hour, and that money is going to be super beneficial to his family. Now, Charlotte's parents aren't too happy that their daughter is marrying Yohan. They don't like how she sends him money. And then she tells her mom, the last time I sent him money was when they went through a hurricane and they needed a new roof. So she sent him money so that
they can have a new roof. And the mom goes, well, I don't agree with that. Okay, you're not his sugar mommy, but like, wait a damn second, I don't know if you're marrying this person. Okay, let's just assume. Okay, let's get into the mind of Charlotte. Okay, we are Charlotte. We are marrying the love of our life. Yohan, and your fiance's family just went through a hurricane, a devastating hurricane that blew off their roof. It's not like they live in luxury.
They don't live in a nice house. They just need a roof over their heads, like literally, the most basic thing that someone can ask for. They're not asking for a Tesla or a BMW or like a I don't know, like this Italian marble for their kitchen, they're asking for a roof. I mean, they don't have a roof over their heads. So obviously, if I'm Charlotte, I'm gonna send my fiance if I can afford to, you know, if I have the money, I'm gonna send them money so
they can get a new roof. So I understand why Charlotte sent them money. But the mom is, oh my god, she's brutal. But of course the mom is thinking she's with a scammer, like he's just taking her money. But then I wonder, like it was a real hurricane, their roof really got blown off, Like can you really get mad that she helped a guy's family like replace her roof. I don't know. I don't know. It's not like it was expensive, right, I'm just making assumptions right
here. I don't know. I just feel like it's reasonable, like you were helping someone out in the end, and even if he ended up scamming me for other things, like as long as the roof in the hurricane was real, then I wouldn't feel too bad about it, Like I helped a family out, you know, I don't know, maybe I'm being delusional. I try to google how much a roof would cost in the Dominican Republic, but I couldn't really figure that out. But you can rent a one bedroom
apartment there for around three hundred dollars a month. So I feel like the mom is kind of savage because when Charlotte tells her the people in the Dominican Republic don't have what they have, she basically says, well, it's not our problem. They have to figure it out themselves. Like my god, do you not care about how other people live in the world. Like I know this is a different situation because it involves her daughter and she doesn't want
her daughter to get scammed, But I don't know. I just wouldn't respond that way. Oh God, I don't even want to get into it. But last night, well I guess I'm about to get into it. But last night I learned for the first time what was happening in Congo, and it's just so freaking devastating. It got me down in a spiral. Last night. I just didn't understand why the world was so unfair and why, like literally, it feels like America just steps over everybody and lets everybody die
for our capital game. Anyway, I don't want to get into it because this is about nine de fiance UK stupid stuff. But I just that's not the response I would have. I wouldn't be like, well, they would have to deal with it anyway if it weren't for you, Like I would just be like, Okay, well that was really nice of you. Her mom tries to remind Charlotte, you know, he might take your car, he might take your house, he might take everything that you worked really hard
for. And Charlotte says, well, I have all these things but no one to share it with. And Johann makes me happy, So I want to share my things with the man I love and who makes me happy. And I thought that response was so freaking sweet, so heartfelt, like it really made me emotional. Hold on my dog's scratching on the door I have
to open for her, Okay, it almost made me emotional. You know, as delusional as Charlotte may be, like just putting myself in her situation, she really believes in her love and her future with Johan, and it was just so sweet that she said, like, I really want to share the things that I have with him, because he makes me happy, like I don't know something about that was so sweet. Also, Charlotte really really wants to have a family, and her bioclock is ticking TikTok, TikTok,
so she wants kids with him as soon as possible. Listen, I understand the mom is concerned, and I understand she has her daughter's best interest, but the way she's talking is just pissing me off a little. She's not the best communicator. If you want to grab your daughter's attention and have her listen to you, you don't want to be negative and you don't want to rain on her parade. You have to be strategic. You know. That's why they say, uh, reverse psychology is a thing, all right.
Now we have Jamie, who's thirty three years old. He's an operations officer for London's transport system, and at first glance I was like, oh my god, he seems so sweet and so nice. No, I mean, he might be sweet, he might be nice, but he's a looser, loser with a big l okay. He lives with his parents who basically hand feed him every single meal. Oh my god. He would be a complete nightmare to date because you would basically like he and his mother are BFFs.
They are besties for the resties. They do everything together, and she does everything for him everything, Okay. She might as well wipe his ass for him. And the reason why I say he would be an absolute fucking nightmare to date is because you would basically be in competition with his mother because she does everything for him. You would have to do that and more, okay,
because you would have to do the sexy stuff. That's the only way you would win, okay, to be as good as his mother in terms of feeding him, cleaning up after him, doing pretty much everything for him, plus the sex stuff. He doesn't know how to do shit, okay. If you date him, you would have to teach him everything. If you don't want to do it yourself, then you would have to teach him. You would have to train him. Like just stay single, okay,
don't date mama's boys, all right. If it comes down to Jamie or any other mama's boy or being single, just be single. Holy shit, you have to be a miserable person by yourself for you to choose to be with a guy like him than to be by yourself. And trust me, I do know women who would rather be with a guy like him than to be alone, and that makes me truly, truly sad for them. When it comes to Jamie and his mother, their relationship is adorable, okay,
like I said, they're besties for the resties. They hang out all the time, they laugh all the time, and it's cute. But again a nightmare to date, because like I said, if you date him, you're gonna be always competing with his mother, who does everything for him. So the only way you are going to win over his mother is if you do everything, literally everything for him, plus the sex stuff. Now, he can't find any women who will date him in the UK. Gee, I
fucking wonder why. I wonder why. And because no one will date him, he started looking abroad. He dated a girl from Thailand that didn't work out because she ended up using him for his money. Then he dated a girl from Vietnam who also ended up using him for his money. And now he's dating a girl from the Philippines named Kathleen. I mean, he's just
going all over Southeast Asia. Now. Kathleen is completely different from his ex girlfriends because she truly loves him for him clip there is some competition between mom and Kathleen. Yep, there it is. I didn't I just say that, didn't I just say that? Literally? Clip, she's a bit jealous. That's weird. I don't understand why mother's not all mothers. Some mother's like toxic boy moms. There are so many toxic boy moms popping up on my social media page lately. Why are they like that? And why do
they compete with their son's girlfriends. It's so freaking weird. Clip. When a girl comes in, she has to take a back seat. Honestly, if I had no choice but to date him, I would be like, yeah, yeah, I'll take a back seat. Let your mother come. She can clean, she can cook, and wipe your ass. I don't mind. Ultimately, the mom is jealous that the girlfriend is taking time away
from her. He's now busy spending most of his time with the girlfriend instead of the mom, and she misses the time when she had him all to herself. Clip, I have two women fighting over me. I like it. Oh what the fuck? Oh god, oh god, Just stay single, ladies, just stay single, stay away from him. Mom tells Jamie to be very careful because if a woman truly loves him. She won't ask
him for things. Okay. One day, his mom was cleaning his room and found a Western Union receipt on his bed, and she was like, oh my god, Jamie, are you sending her money? And he was like, yeah, I just send her like, you know, one hundred to two hundred dollars a month. No, she's using you. I forbid you to send her any more money from now on, and so he stopped. After that incident, he was like, okay, mommy, I will obey you, mommy. Initially, when his mom told him to stop sending
her money, he told her her family is struggling right now. They don't have enough money. And the mom was like, well, she can earn it on her own. It's not your responsibility, which I do agree with. Like they're not married. This is essentially a girl that he doesn't even know or he hasn't has he met her in real life? I don't think so, right, or maybe he has ones I don't remember, but I get where she's coming from. So one day he meets up with his friend
for coffee. His name is and I don't know what. Richard has shoved up and stuck up his buttthole, but he is cranky and he doesn't like Kathleen. He is pretty sure that Kathleen is using him and he doesn't want his best friend to get used. And at one point before ever since, everybody was talking so much shit about Kathleen to Jamie, Jamie ended up listening to everybody and broke up with her. But then he missed her so much and then got back together with her. So at the coffee shop, he
tells Richard, I got back together with Kathleen. And the look on Richard's face if looks good kill Jamie would have been dead. When he heard that they got back together. He was like, oh why, oh, I just love her so much, Richard, you don't understand. Okay, whatever, remember what happened with your last two girlfriends. But she's different, Richard. You'll see when you meet her. Well, I hope I don't damn
me so fit. Jamie tells him that he wants to propose to Kathleen, and Richard gives him the biggest staying face and says, I will give you the biggest slup if you ever do that. I mean, isn't that a little extreme? Like God, why is Richard so mad, like do you like him? Is this what this is all about? Like? Do you like him? Do you want him? He's so pissed off and he's just not entertained at all. Lastie, for this episode, we have John.
He's twenty nine years old and he's a chef. One year he went to Thailand to teach English and he fell in love with their culture and food, and then he met the love of his life, Sprate. And first of all, I mean, I love that name because Spray is my favorite drink in the entire effing world. I love Spray. I love it so much. Okay, So John gets very emotional talking about Spray. Sorry, cant a card? Imagine my life with h very sweet. So they get on
a FaceTime call. Apparently Spray came back from the gym, and John goes, oh, I went to the gym too. Do you see my big muscles? And then Sprite says, you have a big stomach too. What the fuck? What the bitch did I ask you about my stomach? I asked you about my fucking muscles on my arms. Look, I have big muscles, big stombay too. Oh Lord, here we go again, Here we go again. If you didn't know. Fat shaming in Asia is very very very very very normal. Okay. It is as normal assaying Hi,
how Hi? I can't even speak because I have PTSD. It's as normal as saying Hi, how are you? It literally is. And it's not just fat shaming that's normal. It's making any comment about your physical appearance that is normal. So it's kind of like, Hi, how are you. Oh my god, you look so tired. Hi, how are you? Oh my god, you got so fat? Hi? How are you? Oh my god, who got so old? Hi? How are you? Oh my god, you look like a bat hit you in the face.
You know. I was supposed to put that bitch in daycare today. Both my dogs were supposed to go to daycare today, but she did not want to go. Whenever I say do you want to go to daycare? They get so excited. So I was like, today they're gonna go, And I was like, do you guys want to go to daycare? They got all excited. They came to me, and as soon as I took their collar out, this bitch over here ran away and she hid under the table and she did not want to come out. Now I feel like I shouldn't
force her to go to daycare if she really doesn't want to go. So I ended up leaving her at home. I took the other one there, and now she's fucking bothering me. She don't Okay, even though I sound aggressive, I freaking love her to death. So don't think I hate my I love my dogs more than I love any human being. Okay, so just calm down. I just anyway. The conversation between Sprt and John is
so freaking awkward. John is just very lovey, dovey and affectionate. He gives Sprite tons of compliments and words of affirmation, but Sprite gives him nothing, absolutely nothing. He just smiles kind of. It looks very fake, and he makes funny faces. He looks like he's uncomfortable. He's rolling in his eyes a little bit. So now we meet Sprite. He's a twenty
six year old photographer. He's apparently very successful. He shot for magazines and celebrities, and he's very passionate about his work and he is determined to go to England to further his career. Hmm. I wonder if he's using John or not. And I know. So he meets his friend at a cafe and they talk about John. Apparently they met on Tinder and Sprite saw his picture and he was like, oh, not my type. He looks homeless. Oh but he's an English teacher and I do need to improve my English.
Right, so he swope Swope, swiped Bright, and his goal for connecting with John was so that he could improve his English. Apparently, John asked Right to be his boyfriend several times before he said yes, because Spray kept constantly rejecting him over and over until he finally said yes. John is kind of more into me because I don't know, but I just feel like he's more into me. But for me, because John could speak English, I wanted to get to know him well. Okay, Then I guess Spray
only dated him to be more fluent in English. I don't know. Maybe find another platform to do that and not tender. John meets up with his sister to catch up and tell him all about Sprite, and he drops a huge bomb on all of us. He tells his sister that he has a lot of trust issues with Sprite because one day he was casually going through Sprite's phone and he found a picture of Sprite with another man in a hotel room.
Are you freaking kidding me? I would lose my mind. I mean, am I surprised, though, No, because it really doesn't seem like Sprite likes him at all. But yeah, if I were John in that moment, like we would have been done. Why there's no reason for you to be in a hotel room with another man. Well, it's finally the day of Sprite's arrival in the UK, so John goes to pick him up at the airport. He has a large bouquet of flowers. He's so excited,
and the episode ends. So that is a recap for Ninety Day Fiance UK season three, episode one. I am already loving it so freaking much. This is way better than Love and Paradise. I mean, I love Love and Paradise, but come on, it's better than Love and Paradise. It is way better than Happily ever After. Like Happily ever After is getting tough to recap, Like I just posted the recap of Jasmine and Gino, and that's because I couldn't get through the rest of my RecA. I have
it recorded, I just couldn't get myself to edit it. Like I really, I just didn't care. I was like, oh, this is such a freaking jour. I might just post the recap. There's like no screenshots, there's no video clips. I might just post it and if you want to listen to it, you can, But if you don't want to, you don't have to. But I just can't get myself to edit that thing. Like I don't care. I don't care about Emily and Kobe meeting his
ex girlfriend. I don't care about Robin Sophie having the same fight for the fifty seventh time. I don't care about who else is on the show. I don't even know Angelain Michael. I don't freaking care. Okay, we know Michael came and he escaped her, so that's all I care about. Don't want to see Angela anymore? Do I really care to see Liz get her shit out of Big Ed's house? Not really. We already know she moved on. She found another man and she's allegedly married to him. Who
else is on? Lauren and Alexi don't care, Patrick and Ty's I don't care, Like, I literally don't care. Well, that's it for the recap. Let me know your thoughts in the comments or don't. It's okay. I love you guys, thank you so much for your support as always, and I'll see you in the next one. Bye.