Hello, Hello, welcome back to another ninety Day Fiance recap. Let's talk about the Last Resort because this show was I hate that I'm even saying this, but this show was actually good. I know I didn't want to like it, but it was so good. We've never had this kind of show before where couples are actually getting help for the problems in their relationship. So
first I want to talk about my initial thoughts before starting the episode. Now, I personally was looking forward to the show because I was a huge fan of Marriage boot Camp and this is essentially the ninety de fiance version of Marriage boot Camp, and the fact that there were going to be actual licensed therapists
on the show put a very interesting spin on it for me. It wasn't just going to be a bunch of different couples acting like trash at a resort and the camera crew was just going to film them doing whatever they want. This was going to be legit or I don't know, kind of legit. This was going to be somewhat legit because there were going to be licensed professionals and they were going to be doing like relationship challenges and opening up and facing
all their problems. That stuff I really dig Oh my god, my phone just went off. Sorry. Now, in terms of the cast members and the couples, I was looking forward to two couples in particular. The first couple was Aswelo and Klanni, and the second was Molly and Kelly. We all knew their marriages ended, but we didn't have any of the details, and they never came back on the show. Well obviously, so they're broken up, but I was super curious as to what happened. We saw Kolani
and Aswelo for so many seasons, their families were all involved. There was so much drama, and regarding Molly, we hated Louise, and then when she introduced Kelly, we loved him for her, but then their season. They only did one season on the Single Life, and then there was so much drama off the show, And for those reasons, I was really looking forward to these two couples now, Angela and Michael. I think we can all agree that Angela sucks Major Musty Harry Saggy Donkey balls right. Her motto
is I Am an American, the Land of the Free. I hate that she keeps coming back. She's so aggressive and she's so violent. I really can't stand it, but Matt Sharpe keeps bringing our back for some fricking reason, so she must be excellent for ratings. Now, if she and Michael don't officially get divorced by the end of the retreat, then I'm pretty sure they're both in it together and they're just staying together for the TLC paycheck. I mean, why the hell not. I'd do that too. I'd stay
with an X if the money was good enough. Is Michael getting any of the money, by the way, because I don't think the production or the company can legally pay Michael. How's something along those lines, So they pay the American. Speaking of Michael, he's not even at the retreat physically. He's connected through an iPad. I know, it's so ridiculous at this point, I think Michael's just a prop and the show just really wanted Angelo,
so Michael had to come because this is a couple's retreat. Big Ed and Liz I love that Yard calls him small ed, so I'm gonna jump on that train. We're gonna call him small ed and for short Smed. Now he's another person everybody hates, but I'm not gonna lie. He does provide some level of entertainment value, unlike Angela, so I can personally deal with it. The last we saw of Ed and Liz was at the tell all where he was being surprise, surprise, a total fart back to her.
They broke up for the thirteenth or fourteenth time. They got back together again. They're still engaged and no wedding plans yet. Ed looks like his usual self, but is oh girl? She looks sad again. Remember during the last tell all when she and Edward temporarily broken up, she got her glow back, like the girl was thriving. The girl was glowing. But now that she's back with smet again, I mean, this can't be a coincidence. She's looking sad. The last couple on the show is Jovi and Yara.
Now, I personally never really cared for them. I didn't hate them, I didn't love them. They were just like whatever. But I think they might be the most realistic couple. They're on the show for their relatability factor. Like I'm sure a lot of people watching them from homes see their problems and say, oh, my partner and I have that same exact issue, you know. Plus I do like how Yar is not afraid of Angela. I feel like she might be the only one. Now. I don't
blame them either for being scared, because she will throw down. She might look a day away from ninety nine, but Homegirl could probably beat your ass. So those were my initial thoughts going into the show. Now let's get into the very first episode. The couples are on their way to the resort. They don't know who the other couples are, and they're all like,
kind of excited and nervous. And Colanne and a Swallow are especially nervous about having to air all their dirty laundry out because for a while, their lives were private and now they're going to have to expose all of that to the whole entire world. I was surprised to see their two sons, like they're very little, and I'm thinking, how the hell are they going to do this with two kids here? But her sister, but Collini came to watch
them. Their names are so similar, Klanni Collini. Okay, so Collini came to watch them. Some of you might be wondering, why is Collini at the resort to watch her kids when she could have just watched them at home. Well, hello, they're at a resort. It's a free vacation. I would much rather be sit in front of the ocean in a nice, free hotel room. You know what I'm saying. Wow, I was just talking into the mic for like twenty minutes and I realized the mic wasn't
recording. Oh god, no, I have to think about where I was. So Molly and Kelly arrive in separate cars. They did not travel together, so things seem to be already pretty bad for them. They're obviously already broken up. So why did they come to the retreat. I'm assuming that one paycheck to free vacation, although if you hate your ex, I don't think you would accept the free vacation. But who knows your friends are there, so I don't know. Depends on how big the money is, you
know. I'm guessing they came to the retreat to kind of figure out, not like if they can get back together. I think things are done. Molly seems like she freaking hates him and cannot stand him, whereas Kelly looks like he's broken and super depressed. I feel like Molly maybe came for a paycheck and Kelly came to figure out what went wrong. Jovi and Yara, they just seem to bicker a lot. I don't think they have any explosive fights like Smet and Liz do, but they sure argue a ton like a
lot. They bigger, bigger, bigger. Apparently they both have secrets that they haven't told each other, and it's going to be revealed on the show. Now, how much am I going to believe in this? Like? Do they make something up for the drama? I don't know. It depends on the secret. Oh, but we do know that Jovi really wants another child and Yara does not, not yet at least because Jovi travels so much
for her work. So she's going to be left alone for half of the year when Jovi's away, and she's going to be stuck with two kids, not just one. Two. Angela aka Ariana Grande from Wish Now she arrives and immediately starts harassing the men who work at the resort. Hey, Shaq, shababe, are you married? Angela's at the retreat because she can no longer trust Michael now that she found out he cheated online with another woman and sent her money. Blah, blah blah, and she wants a genuine apology
from him. She wants him to cry, and if she feels like he's not really truly remorseful, then she's going to serve him divorce papers by the end of the retreat. She actually printed them out and brought them there. She's in her room unpacking all her stuff. She puts her suitcase on the bed. If you don't understand why, that's absolutely disgusting. Do not worry. I used to be you, but now you're going to be reformed. Never ever put your nasty ass, dirty, gross luggage on your bed.
Thank you, Ed end Liz. Liz is scared that Smedbull cheat on her. I mean, if he does, who cares, Like, move on and do better. Ed wants her to trust him, But like, dude, you were on a dating app, you reached out to your ex girlfriend Rose, and yeah, lied about it. He can't help himself, but to be around other women, it's just a confidence booster for him. I guess his insecurities of possibly Liz leaving him, Like I don't, who the fuck knows she's never leaving. Okay, let's just be real. We all
know this. Liz is never going to leave. He probably knows that and that is why he does whatever the fuck he wants. Now, it's time for all the couples to meet and to start their first mini therapy session. Yay. So they all go to the pool. They see who's there. Everyone's so excited. Oh my god, can't believe you're here. Blah blah blah. They're all shocked that Molly's alone. They're like, where's Kelly, and she goes, He's here somewhere. So then Kelly arrives and he looks
so dejected and sad. He says he and Molly haven't been talking, and they just became more and more distant. There was a lot of drama. Now I don't know all the little details, but it also involved Olivia, Molly's daughter. Allegedly they got into a heated argument at Molly's store and he choked her against the wall. Now, he denied it, and as far as I know, there was no security footage or CCTV footage that showed him
choking her. Then I believe he posted screenshots of his text messages with Olivia where Olivia called him the N word, And then I know Olivia got arrested because she got into a physical altercation with her mom, Molly at their house. And then I also heard that Olivia got arrested. I'm not sure if it was just once or maybe twice for fetin al. Now, remember Cynthia Molly's BFF, and we loved them together, especially on the Pillow Talk.
They were so funny. Well, they are no longer friends. They stopped being friends. However, Cynthia and Kelly remain friends. So that's all I know. There are three therapists on the show, and I'm glad they brought on actual professionals to help these dumbsterfire relationships. Now, they all grab a seat and everyone is sitting next to their couple or whoever they came on the retreat with, except for Molly and Kelly. She chose to sit elsewhere.
Now, the therapists noticed this right away and they make them sit next to each other. They quickly touch on Kelly and Molly, so basically TLDR long story short, Kelly left everything in New York to move to Georgia to be with Molly, and according to Molly, he didn't do anything or help her with anything once he got there, and she got super frustrated. Kelly feels like as soon as he got there, she started ordering him around and telling him what to do. Now, Kelly retired from the NYPD, and that
bothered Molly. One of the reasons why she was super attracted to him was because he had a quote powerful job. She also complained that right after he retired, he just sat on the couch to watch reality TV all day, And I was personally offended by that, because what's wrong with that? She could have sat down with him and enjoyed some reality TV, but no, she wanted him to do this and this and that and that, and he wanted to relax, and she just wasn't happy with it. Now, they
end the first episode with the most shocking information. I feel like the scene was so insane, like it was the gift that kept on giving, and I was shook. I think everyone was shook. We were just like, what the fuck? My jaw kept dropping and it kept getting whider and wider the more Auswelou and Klannie were talking. So let's get into it. So we all know that Asweloo is a giant man child and Klanni has been Klanni,
right Collini, Okay, that's her sister. So we all know that Klanni's been having a lot of issues with Aswelo because he was essentially the third son that she never wanted. One morning, he FaceTime Collini and his tongue was super super white, and he asked her if she knew what that was, and Klanni looked at it and she was like, it looks like a yeast infection, a gay thrush. So basically, he either kissed someone in the mouth or in the puss. When he got home, she demanded to
know the truth, and so he confessed. He said he was at a bar a woman offered him a blowy and he accepted. Now, I don't really know if that meant he kissed her and then she ended up giving him a blowy, or if he reciprocated and returned the favor and got the white tongue. I don't know. Didn't make it clear, or maybe I missed it. Klawnie was furious. She was so hurt and so pissed she probably
wanted to murder him. And to make it up to her, he told her that she could have a hall pass and to choose any guy to make out with, and he wouldn't be upset, and apparently he only said that because he thought there was no way in hell she would actually take it. Well, guess what, motherfucker, she took the Hall pass, and a Swallow felt so betrayed and so hurt. The Klannie explains why she took the Hall pass. Listen, I get it. She was so over it.
She's been hurt so many times, over and over and over and over again, so she finally said, fuck it, I'm going to do what I want. I don't know how you move past that. I feel like there's way too much hurt and betrayal. I'm glad they're being super transparent. That's got to be so tough. Klannie decides to pump up the transparency and then tell us a group that not only did she kiss her hall pass, but things escalated to second base, then third base, then a home run.
A Swallow starts to cry. He can't believe they went all the way. I don't even know if I can believe his tears, because apparently he uses his tears to manipulate her. Oh and Colanne and her Hall Pass, they're still texting, they're communicating. Apparently she's developed real feelings for him, so the mini therapy session ends, all the couples go back to their hotel room.
A Swello wants to know okay, he has more questions for Klannie, and I'm thinking, okay, he wants to know, like, I don't know, just freaking I thought he was going to ask pretty much anything other than what he actually asked. Okay. He wanted to know if her hall pass was better in bed than him. Who the this is where his mind is at. Klanni was like, you know what a swallow. You're very selfish in bed and everything is about you. Everything revolves around you. You
want everything done to you, and you just think about you. That's all just like how you are in every other facet of your life. I saw their relationship on TV and he is the definition of weaponized and confidence. Well, he can't believe this. He's like, but I'm very giving and I thought I've been satisfying you the whole time. And she's like, no, not really, not really at all. Well that's it for the recap for the first episode of ninety Day, The Last Resort. Let me know your
thoughts in the comments. What did you guys think? Did you watch it or do you not have access to the show. I'd love to hear your thoughts. Leave them in the comments, and I will talk to you guys in the next one. Bye.