July 23, 1969 / The Dark Side of the Moon

is obscured by low hanging tree branches. The car rockets through the intersection, hits a ditch, and is suddenly airborne, sailing several car lengths before crashing back to earth. The woman's head smashes into the dashboard. She will have two black eyes for weeks. The man is tossed about like a rag doll, his body bruised. Thankfully, both are wearing their seatbelts. The shocked couple stagger out of the mangled are and, recognizing that it isn't going anywhere ever again,

begin walking to town to find help. The couple is Buzz and Joan Aldren and Buzz is drunk. This is a follow control at one sixty six hours, eight minutes. Follow eleven is one seven thousand four nautical miles from the Earth, velocity four thousand, nine hundred seventy five ft per second. Crew still sleeping. All systems are still normal. All systems of board Apollo eleven may be normal. But

on Earth there's a bit of a hiccup. NASA has set up a number of monitoring stations across the planet to ensure that as the Earth rotates, there is at least one station constantly in communication with Apollo. One of NASA's most critical stations is in Guam, and while the astronauts were sleeping, bearings in one of its dishes became stuck and the antenna was unable to track the spacecraft. There is no way to contact Apollo eleven or for

them to reach Earth. The director of the tracking station, Charles Force, had tried everything, but the hole through which he needed to grease the bearing was simply too small. Then it hit him. He raced home and grabbed his ten year old son Greg and sped back to the station. Gregg had no problem at all, reaching through a two and a half inch aperture and packing grease around the bearing. Soon the antenna was able to slew into position and

once again began tracking its celestial quarry. Years later, Gregg met Neil Armstrong, who thanked him for his pint size heroics eleven and I don't think good morning over Okay, everything right here yet we've been in at It's July, the eighth day of the Apollo eleven mission and the cruise penultimate day in space. The object outside the cockpit that they've been so captivated by is the Earth looming larger than ever before on here flank plan uh item

of a few updates. First of all, we've canceled a mid court number six. I did remain in PPC. This is Apollo Control at one seventy three hours eighteen minutes. Are virtually no flight plan activities scheduled at this time. The spacecraft systems will all continue to perform normally. It's going to be another quiet day aboard Apollo eleven. We've been jumping back in time a lot during this podcast,

but today we'll be jumping forward into the future. How is the crew of Apollo eleven greeted on their return to Earth, and especially how are their lives changed by their experience on the Moon. How do you propose to restore some normalcy to your private lives and the years ahead. I wish I knew the answers to the latter part

of your question. It kind of depends on you. M The months and years immediately following Apollo eleven's return was filled with all the pomp and circumstance you might imagine, but it also masked a dark lining to this silver cloud. Follow eleven, Houston over go ahead. I just wanted to make sure you fellas hadn't gone back to sleep again. And I also have a little bit of late news here if you'd like to find out what's happened in

the last twelve fourteen hours over Okay, okay. Looking overseas, we find South Korea's first super highway linking coal with support of in John, has been named the Apollo Highway. To commemorate your trip, the West Coast residents all planned to make their areas visible to the three of you by lighting their lights between nine pm and midnight tonight, so that you may be able to see Christmas lights, porch light, door lights, and whatever may be turned on.

Back in Memphis kind of s a young lady who was presently tipping the scales at eight pounds two ounces, I was named module by her parents Mr. And Mrs Eddie Lee McGhee. It wasn't my idea that Mrs McGhee, it was my husband. He said, bulk at the lame lunar module McGhee because it didn't sound too good. But apparently they have compromised on just module over Module McGee, a special ed teacher, still lives in Georgia and still loves her unusual name. They All Star Game currently being played.

The present score at the end of the fourth inning as the National League leading the American League by nine to three, so the hitters are having a good day. As you can tell. The National League would go on to vanquish the American League nine to three. And rain clouds are over the MSc area at the moment. It began raining here just about ten minutes ago, and last report we were having a pretty heavy delusion. So that's it from the news front for the afternoon. Here follow

eleven over. Thank you very much. I thank my yard could do water. That's very true. I've forgotten exactly how many days they did go buzz, but something like thirty days without rain, and we can't appreciate the rain we're getting right now. That was the last time cut. All right, you're going what non right now, Buzz, But Janets reports the grads is getting pretty high, and I would have to make that it's going to make close to your

knees by the time you get out of quarantine over. Neil, Buzz and Michael returned to Earth very different men than they left just nine days earlier. Not only had they experienced something transcendent and utterly outside the experience of any other human who has ever lived, but they were also greeted as conquering heroes. They were not merely American celebrities, they were global icons. They would forever be changed by their encounter with the Moon. Neil Armstrong's biographer James Hansen.

Even before the Powell and spacecraft gets back and splashes down, Jim Level, who is capcom the capsule communicator, told the astronauts as that who were coming back in you know now the hard part is going to start, which is, you know, coming back to Earth and facing everything you're gonna face is the first men who visited the Moon.

Following their splashdown, which we will cover on our next episode, the men were immediately placed into three weeks of quarantine just in case they came back with any dangerous lunar micro organisms. While in quarantine, Buzz began drinking heavily. No one thought much of it, after all, he just done something monumentally stressful, and military pilots are known to blow off some steam with a couple of drinks. What no one knew, including Buzz, was that this would become the

norm for the next decade. Three days after they were released from quarantine, the crew of Apollo eleven hunkerd for a relentless victory. And there was one day, you know, in August when they started in Houston, they go to New York City for a Tigercape parade. In New York, people dumped so much confetti that the astronauts writing and open convertibles could not even see the sky above them way to play for their black of the cars before one million New Yorkers lined Wall Street and Broadway for

a look at the crew. That's more than turned out for the festivities celebrating the end of the Second World War. That same day, they had to Chicago for another big parade. State Street just crowded with push Chicagolan's wishing well to the astronauts to follow eleven by Chicago, buzzes face eight. With all the smiling he was doing, he was overwhelmed. Everywhere he went people asked him what it was like to walk on the moon, but he never had a

good answer. They wanted something philosophical, something spiritual, something profoundly poetic that spoke to some deeper meaning of life. But he was just an engineer. The words he uttered on the Moon's surface, magnificent desolation, slowly began to describe what was going on inside of him. In the end of the day, out in Los Angeles and Beverly Hills, where President Nixon has a big black tie dinner for them with all kinds of v I P s and uh,

that's just one day. President Nixon presented each of the men with the Presidential Medal of Freedom, and we are therefore awarding them tonight the Medal of Freedom, the highest civilian honor that we can present to an American citizen. Remember Steve Bales, the flight controller who recognized that the Eagle was still go for the moon despite all of those alarms. He was there too, and unbeknownst to him, was called up to receive the same award from the President.

On behalf of the entire White team in mission control. I told my parents, I'm going to this dinner. I don't know, probably you won't see me. That I'll be back in the back somewhere. One of the guys on whatever network was Karen, said, there's this young guy, Steve Bals going to come up and be given this award. They about sell off their chairs. I mean, they couldn't

believe it. This is a young man. When the computers seemed to be confused and we when he could have said stop, or when he could have said wait, said go. Three days later, another parade was thrown for the crew back home in Houston, where three thousand people lined the streets to catch sight of Neil, Buzz and Michael. That evening, people packed the Astrodome to see them on stage. Frank Sinatra was there too. He sang fly Me to the Moon. They had an appearance before a joint session of Congress

where they gave a talk. They brought with them two flags that they had carried on the lunar module to fly over each House of Congress. Neil wasn't comfortable as a public speaker, but by all accounts he always rose to the challenge and dazzled his listeners. The formality and pomp of everything terrified Buzz. After parades in their hometowns, it was time for Operation Giant Leap, NASA chief historian

Bill Berry. President Nixon had plans for them. They wanted to make sure that everybody knew that we won the race of the Moon, and so he sends them off on a world tour. One of the wives said, at one point, and now it begins, and that was a reference to the fact that they were leaving their normal lives behind. That was space historian and author of A Man on the Moon Andrew Chacken, with their wives beside them.

The Apollo eleven astronauts visited twenty eight cities in twenty three countries, meeting with twenty heads of state in just thirty seven days. Elam Strong, the first man on the Moon, led the way on this historic meeting, anesty, her husband and family, like the people of Britain, were proud to greet the space trio. Buzz later confessed that traveling to and from the Moon was less exhaustic than jetting between Mexico, England, Iran, India, Japan and zaire I always referred to this as the

mission they never trained for. Right, we come back from the Moon and suddenly you have to go be public celebrities. You have to make speeches at dinners, you have to be beating heads of steak, and you know, shaking so many hands, being in one parade after another, having to sign autographs. You know, this was not what they had originally signed up for as test pilots and fighter pilots, but it came with the job of being a conquering hero.

Mike Collins adapted pretty Walter World Tour, and Neil seemed to do pretty well at it too, but it really took its toll on Buzz because they really weren't prepared for that. Hundreds of thousands of people came out to see them in Berlin, it was more like a million. But cracks were starting to show in Buzz. His wife Joan kept asking her husband to tell her about his experiences on the moon, but Buzz kept brushing her off, saying he was so tired of talking about that subject.

According to Lily Coppell, the author of The Astronaut Wives Club, he began acting more and more erratic and rome. He was out parting all night little j VDA style. Buzz felt like he had been being a very good boy. He had done what NASA asked of him, so he sort of allowed himself to sort of start letting luc a bit. Buzz began to drink, he began to dance, He began to show his dissatisfaction with what he saw

is I think propaganda role that he had placed. Both Neil and Michael noticed something was the matter, but they didn't know what it was or how to help. At one point, Bill Carpenter, the Apollo eleven flight surgeon, pulled Buzz aside and asked him if everything was okay. Buzz admitted to being overwhelmed and accepted some pills. He was

having a space age existential crisis. At some point, he turns to Joan and she's sort of wondering why he can't just enjoy this moment of glory, and he just said to a very flatly Joan, I've been to the moon. Nothing in our lives is ever going to be the same again. Things got so bad at one point that Joan told her husband that he needed to get control

of himself or move out. Once they got back to America, Buzz righted himself, at least for a little while, as they finished the tour in d c. At dinner with the President and spent the night at the White House. A few days after they returned to the United States, the US Postal Service came out with a new stamp on it. Neil Armstrong was shown to sending the ladder to the lunar surface. Beneath the image was the text

first man on the Moon Man singular. He was incredibly upset over not having been the first man to step on the face of the Moon. It still seems absolutely incredible to me and many of the lives I spoke to, and I think many people, hey, you were up there, you were with Neil, But I guess he would have preferred to be first. Sort of typical as these competitive astronuts, we're in deeply speculative territory here. To this day, Buzz denies caring about being the first man to step foot

on the Moon. He's even said he's thankful, given how Neil was mobbed all of his life for the honor, and yet those closest to him never bought it. Many friends and historians think that Buzz was very angry that he was not chosen as number one, but there's almost always this qualifier. It was not a matter of pride,

but rather an inability to please his overbearing father. Buzz came from a very difficult background in the sense that he had a very difficult and demanding father, and he's certainly whether or not he was always conscious of it. I think he felt the impact of that. That was almost as if nothing he ever did was good enough for his father. In fact, some of the other astronauts told me that they even remember his father kind of

campaigning on Buzz's behalf. You know that maybe Buzz should be the first guy out on the moon, and it must have been very hard on Buzz to have that kind of father. Neil, Buzz and Michael traveled half a million miles to the Moon and back, and another one hundred thousand criss crossing the Earth. In all, nearly one and fifty million people came out to see the crew of Apollo eleven, and it was estimated that they shook half a million hands. We've all come a long way

with these three Apollo eleven aspronauts. They've made us proud, They've shown us the massive national effort can be mounted and carried through to success, whether out into their reaches of space or praised me perhaps right here on the face of the Earth. Back on Apollo eleven, the crew has just finished their breakfast, and as always, Michael is

singing the praises of their re hydrated food. Bo's magnetism is usually it's like they got it patty doo, cups coffee and I forget all what else, And that does sound pretty good. As a matter of fact, I'm way overdue for a meal myself here. I could use some of that to get milk to give you five minutes up Hamburg. I've exacted that a while ago. He was pointing out about the weight problem here. I gotta keep the calorie is low, so I better stand by without it.

As with yesterday, everyone is a lot more relaxed, cracking jokes and goofing around. Speaking of food, Mike has some advice for a Paul twelve due to launch the following November. We've been doing a little flight planning for a POB twelve up here, Roger go ahead, trying to calculate how much spaghetti and mate bills we can get on pork for Elbain. I'm not sure the stage craps will take that much text your weight? Have you made any antimates

it'll be closed. Last comment came from my colin's referring to Al being as the Leno modical pilot to a Polo twelve. Shortly after this chat, Apollo eleven passes the midway point on its homeward journey. They are now just over one hundred thousand nautical miles from splashdown Houston. Are you still up there over? Oh? Yeah, but not like we were wanting to go for a general informational eleven.

You're now nine or five thousand, nine hundred and deny miles from the areas over trying to come downhill a little bit? Now, what velocity is five thousand and nine hundred and per second? And you are indeed coming downhill. In y one, Citizen Kane opened in theaters. The film is considered the greatest American masterpiece ever made. Its director, co writer, and star Orson Welles was just twenty five

years old. For the rest of his life, Wells would try to make something as good as his very first film. The attempt would nearly ruin him. The crew of Apollo eleven isn't yet forty years old. They have done something no one else in human history has ever accomplished. They are heroes the world over. So what do they do next? NASA's Bill Barry. It became apparent right after the Paulovan crew came back to Earth that they weren't going to

fly in space again. The worst fate for pilots and astronauts is sorry, you don't get to go in space anymore. I don't think I can emphasize it enough that you know, their identity was as military aviators and and test pilots, and so suddenly they're not going to be allowed to do that anymore, and they have to find some of their meaning in their life. Neil, Buzz and Michael were icons, now too important to risk on another flight. It was

time to reinvent themselves. After the Giant Leap Tour, Neil spent a few weeks with Bob Hope entertaining the troops in Vietnam. I've had the privilege of meeting some outstanding men in our time, but the very quiet and soft spoken young man you're about to meet now is a part of a team that provided this world with a thrill. They will not soon forget Armstrong biographer James Hanson, and Neil showed a lot of good humor and was very

popular with the troops all across Vietnam. And then he was invited to go to the Soviet Union and gave talks and was met cosmonauts and met the wife of Uriga Garin, the first man in space. Neil may have fled the country just to get away from the mountains of mail that was coming in. While he'd planned on responding to everyone, it quickly became clear that that was impossible. For the first couple of months, he received ten thousand

letters a day. NASA threw a bunch of clerks and public affairs officers into the mix to help him, but they couldn't keep up with the tsunami. Even decades later, he continued to maintain an administrative assistant whose sole job was handling his overwhelming correspondence. He was getting all kinds of invitations to do this, and do that, and give this talk, and give this commencement speech, and come to this grand opening, and and Neil, it was sort of

it was overwhelming. Neil needed some stability, and he found it in an offer from NASA. The NASA Administrator Dr. Thomas Paine asked Neil to take on a position back in the NASA's aeronautics programs as Associate Administrator for Aeronautics, which would have been a desk job in Washington, and Neil accepted it kind of grudgingly. He wasn't that interested in staying in Washington. He wasn't interested that much in a desk job, but aeronautics was his passion, so he

accepted the job. Not surprisingly, Neil didn't enjoy flying a desk and he remained in the job for only a couple of years. I think he would have been happy if in the job, if they had just let him do it. But being in Washington, d C. It was constantly getting calls to come over to have a photo shoot with an ambassador or visiting dignitary or congressman or something like that. And after a while Neil just got

tired of that. They wouldn't leave him alone, and and he chose, well, I'm going to just have to get out of I need to find a normal life. Neil tried to get back to some sense of normalcy by going back to Ohio, having a farm that he lived on. Even as he was teaching engineering at the University in Cincinnati and maintaining a fairly low profile throughout his post Apollo years. He was not the recluse that people made

him out to be. He just didn't seek publicity and he was steadfast about meeting the world on his own terms. As Andrew Jakin just alluded to, for Neil, it was never about celebrity or fame, It was only ever about the flying. He became a favorite professor at Cincinnati's School of Engineering from nineteen seventy one to nineteen seventy nine, but in the early eighties he decided to try something new.

I don't think he was really after big money, but I think he was in tree by the possibilities of what he might be able to do for certain corporations, especially those that had a had a technical engineering side to it. So, starting you know, around nineteen eighty, really until his retirement, Kneels involved with a number of different companies, including Lear Jet and Chrysler. Michael Collins retired from NASA

just a year after the Apollo eleven mission. Having basically worked as a US diplomat during the Giant Leap tour, Michael took a job he would later describe as plush purgatory. He actually volunteers to be the Deputy Assistant Secretary of State for Public Affairs, and he does that for a year or so, and like his colleagues, after about a year so and his his alternate career, realizes that there's

another opportunity I like better. He became the first director of National Air and Space Museum, where he supervised the design, the development of the exhibits, the construction of the building, made sure that it came in on time and under budget when opened right around the time of the nation's bicentennial uh in n j four. After that, he became

the Undersecretary of the Smithsonian. This beautiful new museum and it's exciting exhibits of the mastery of air and space is a perfect birthday present from the American people to themselves. Neil and and Mike I think make a pretty good adjustment. Buzz had a harder time with it. Budd came back from the Moon a changed man, Jones said. After the world tour, Buzz was emotionally exhausted and physically drained. His marriage was coming apart, and he was haunted by an

all consuming aimlessness. What does a man do for an encore? After walking on the moon, He later wrote in one of his autobiographies, at home, he was moody and dismissive. He stopped talking to his kids and would spend hours in front of the TV nearly every night. Was fitful and sleepless. He was a hero without a sense of purpose. About the only thing consistent in his life was his drinking.

In April of nineteen seventy, less than a year after the splashdown of Apollo eleven, Buzz met a woman named Mary Hann at an Air Force event in New York. He was immediately attracted to her, and she to him. She represented everything he felt his marriage currently lacked life, color, and vitality. It wasn't long before he and Mary Anne began a secret affair. He began taking regular flights to New York to see her, under the pretense of needing to maintain his flight hours. Mary Anne was about the

only bright spot in his life. He still needed a job, and the Air Forces, well, we'll put you in charge of the test school, which was not really the assignment he wanted, and I think was a very good fit there. Buzz his son Andy that I know he very much wanted. He wanted to run the Air Force Academy. I think that's was his real fashion, and I think he was frustrated that he didn't do that buzz head zero test flight or administrative experience. But at least it was a job.

At least he had purpose again. But it wasn't long before the hopelessness returned and Buzz checked himself into a San Antonio medical clinic. The official reason for Buzz's day was to treat some back and neck pain, but really he was there to come to grips with his deteriorating mental health. There was great stigma attached to mental illness in the early nineteen seventies, and Buzz was convinced, not incorrectly, that if word got out, his career would be over

and his status as an American hero severely tarnished. Buzz was there for about four weeks, during which time he regularly sat down with a psychiatrist. He began opening up about his depression, and the doctor learned that Buzz's grandfather had ended his life with his own revolver on his mother's side a history of depression. In fact, his mother

had committed suicide. Buzz's mother, whose maiden name was poignantly Moon, said she didn't think she could handle her son's looming fame and committed suicide less than a year before Buzz walked on the Moon. It was something Buzz blamed himself for. Oh my god, what a burden, What a psychic burden

to carry. While the sessions were enlightening, neither Buzz nor his doctor was aware of one of the most toxic elements of Buzz's decline, an example of which was stashed beneath his clothes in his suitcase a bottle of Scotch. When Buzz checked himself out of treatment, he was feeling better, though his doctor warned him that he still had a long way to go. One of the first things Buzz did was fly to New York to see Mary Anne, but he quickly learned that she had decided to end

their relationship and marry someone else. His self esteem in tatters, a dejected Buzz stepped down from the Edward's job just nine months after he took it, and with it, he left the military and NASA behind. I wanted to resume my duties, but there were no duties to resume. Buzz later wrote, there was no goal, no sense of calling, no project worth pouring myself into. He felt adrift, cut off from anything that wants to find and him. Shortly before he retired, he wrote an article in the Los

Angeles Times recounting his post Apollo leven difficulties. Rather than being shunned, he received wide acclaim for being bold enough to come forward publicly and admit his struggles, especially given his straight laced military background. He was asked to serve on the board of the National Association for Mental Health and soon wrote a book describing his battles in greater detail. He didn't hold much back, admitting to nearly all of

his personal struggles and indiscretions. You know, the issues with depression and alcoholism were really, really difficult. I'm not sure my dad being so public about it made it easier or harder, but we certainly didn't have to hide the fact because he was so public about it. The book was intended by him to be a cathartic experience, and that after the book he was going to get sober and you know, kind of rekindle a relation ship with

my mom, And none of that happened. In seventy four, shortly after the death of Buzz's overbearing father and twenty years of marriage, Buzz and Joan divorced. He was hardly alone. Of the thirty astronauts who served at NASA from nineteen sixty one to nineteen sixty nine, twenty three of their marriages ended in divorce. Buzzes drinking continued to spiral out of control. His role with a national Association for Mental health came with many speaking engagements which Buzz was often

too drunk to perform. His new girlfriend pleaded with him to check into an alcohol rehabilitation center, which he did, and after a month of treatment, they were married. That relationship fell apart just a year or so later. Buzz's Air Force pension wasn't cutting it, and one of his A contacts helped him land a new job selling Cadillacs in Beverly Hills, but after six months on the job

and not a single car sold, Buzz quit. It wasn't long after that that he kicked in his new girlfriend door in a drunken rage and was arrested for disorderly conduct. Buzz Aldrin had hit rock bottom. Back on Apollo eleven, the crew is preparing for their final TV transmission. They never wanted cameras to be a part of this mission, but NASA hadn't given them a choice. Tonight, however, they're thankful to have a chance to say a few words

to the watching world. What follows is a beautiful and heartfelt acknowledgment of the history they made and the team back on Earth that made it possible. Let's settle in and listen, Glug. We're all set whenever you're ready to

send the commander of Apollo eleven. A hundred years ago Jill book about a void spaceship Calabia from Florida and landed after compleating and trept of them in the appropriate the share with you some of the reflections of the crew as the modern day Colombia complete gets rendezvous with the planet Earth in the same Pacific Ocean tomorrow. First, my column, Roger, this trip of ours to the Moon may have looked to you simple or easy. I'd like to share you that that has not been the case.

The battered by a rocket which put us into orbit is an incredibly complicated piece of machinery, every piece of which works broadly. The SPS engine are large rocket engine on the FD end of our service module must have performed flawlessly, or we would have been stranded in lunar orbit. The parachute up above my head must work perfectly tomorrow,

or we will plumb it into the ocean. All this is possible only through the blood, sweat and tears of the American workman who put these pieces of the machinery together. The factory that evaporates him is somewhat like the periscope of a deepery. All you see is the three of us, but beneath the drivers a thousands of thous the brothers, and to all of us, I would like to say thank you very much. Michael later admits that he has a huge lump in his throat and ends very emotionally

buzzes up next Good evening. As we've been discussing the events that have taken place in the past two or three days here on Boordars Big Craft, we've come to the conclusion that this has been far more than three men on a voyage to the moment, more still than the efforts of our government and industry teams, or even than the efforts of one nation. We feel that this stands as a symbol of the insatiable curiosity of all

mankind to explore the unknown. We've been particularly pleased with the emblem of our plight depicting the U. S. Eagle bringing the universal symbol of peace from the planet Earth to the Moon, that symbol being the olive branch. Personally and reflecting the events of the past several days of hearths from the thomps comes to mind to me where I consider the heavens, the work of thy fingers, the moan and the stars which thou hast ordained. What is man if thou art mindful of him? Last, but not

least is nil. Responsibility for the plight lies first with history, with a giant of science who have preceded deservers. Next to the American people who have through their will indicated their desire. Next to four administrations in their congresses for implementing the will. And then to the agency and industry teams that built our space past the Saturn, the Colombia, the Eagle, and the little gam you the space. The fact that that was our all space prayers out on

the Learner Service. We'd like to give a special thanks to all those Americans who have built those space prams. We did the constructions, design the death and put their hearts and all their abilities and into those prayers. To those people tonight we give a special thanking and to all the other people that are listening and watching tonight,

God U good night from all follow all over. I can think a few better ways to begin winding this podcast down than to let these men gush about the very people whose voices we've been hearing over the past

eight episodes. Those who designed, built, and tested the spacecraft in which they've been traveling, the flight controllers in mission control watching over them every step of their journey, the political machine that gave birth to such an audacious feat, and the American public who cheered them on and in the end footed the bill and given the act that this extraordinary accomplishment was carried out as part of a

titanic struggle between two global titans. There's something meaningful in the crew's insistence that the winner of the space race was not a government or a single nation, but rather the insatiable curiosity of all mankind to explore the unknown. Apollo eleven was a small step for the United States, but a giant leap for human kind in while on a ski trip, Neil Armstrong suffered a heart attack. It was the same day he'd begun the process of separating

from Janet, his wife of thirty eight years. Lily Coppel and James Hanson explained, has been a very guarded, playing his cards posted his chest kind of guy. I think jan felt sort of an emotional coldness from Neal. I think Janet had hoped all along that the Neil might change in in important ways and their relationship, that Neil

could be more present for her. And I think, you know, she was hoping that when he left the Astronaut Corps and then and then left NASA and they went back to Ohio and he got this teaching position and they got this farm, uh, that that would all be enough for things to change in ways, it would make the relationship healthier, in the whole situation of the family better. And so I think she just kept hoping that that would happen um and it didn't. It just didn't change.

And she came to the realization, obviously over many many years, very slowly, that you know, he's just not He's never going to change. This is never going to be any different. What she said to me was I got tired of being missed. Neil Armstrong. Neil recovered from his heart attack around nine four when Neil was a member of a golf club and a friend of his who had a friend that had just lost her husband a few years back in a flying accident. Carol Knight was her name.

Neil was introduced to her at the golf club and they hit it off. Neil and Carol married and stayed married until Neil's death in and some people think that Carol really turned out to be the love is of his life, a better match. Neil continued to fly right up until the day he died. He was having some symptoms uh that he called into his doctor UH and

the doctor wanted him to come in immediately UH. And they gave him a stress test and realized he had some blockages that needed to be fixed, and so they immediately gave him a quadruple bypass surgery. Just a few days later, Neil was up and walking and it looked like he'd be heading home soon, but he developed complications that his small local hospital was not equipped to handle a man who could have died a zillion different ways.

As a pilot, you know, in combat and Korea, and you know, flying airplanes at Edwards Uh as an astronaut. For him to die in the way that he did, you know, I feel as extraordinarily tragic, and it sort of makes a very unfortunate ending to what had been a really remarkable life. Neo Armstrong, the first man to walk on the Moon, becoming a hero to generations, has

died back on Earth. The former Navy fighter pilot never allowed himself to be caught up in the celebrity and glamor of the space program, calling himself a white Sox pocket protector nerdy engineer. Neil Armstrong was eight two. His family was offered a state funeral, something usually reserved only for presidents and high ranking members of Congress, but they declined. He was buried at sea with full naval honors. Pat Collins died in two thousand and fourteen after suffering a stroke.

She and Michael were happily married until the very end. Pat and Michael Collins were one of just a handful of space couples that stayed together. Pat was a very liberated woman and Michael Collins perhaps this was one of the trades of any good marriage. Let her be herself According to Andrew Chacken, Michael was the most successful at maintaining a sense of normalcy after Apollo Levin's return. Mike was, of the three of them, the most user friendly. Mike

was the most approachable, relatable. He talked easily, he smiled, he made jokes. You saw that this was a three dimensional human being, much more so than the public side of Neil or Buzz. Um. I would say, it's it's fair to say that in public you had the sense that both Neil and Buz were wound pretty tight. Um not so with Mike. When we left off with Buzz, he'd hit rock bottom. As a result, he quit drinking and he never looked back. He married again, to a

woman named Lois. Every superman needs his Lois, he joked. She was the love of his life, he told everyone, and indeed they seemed very happy, more than anyone else, he wrote in his autobiography. She rebuilt him from the inside out, and she had a talent for making money, transforming herself into his manager and biggest promoter. She booked Buzz on countless television shows, everything from the Simpsons and The Big Bang Theory to Thirty Rock and Dancing with

the stars. She organized speeches, greased the skids on nearly a dozen books, and got him endorsement deals with Apple, Nike, and Louis Vuitton. Together they made millions, and finally Buzz was no longer destitute or buried in darkness, and once again he found his passion for space. He was a pioneer at heart and still is. It's not an accident that he's spent most of his energies since leaving NASA

on forwarding the cause of space exploration. He began advocating for NASA to take the next logical step, placing American bootprints in the scarlet soil of the Red planet. He wants to see humanity become a two planet species with a colony on Mars by twenty forty. Tragically, this Twilight renaissance did not last, and Buzz and Lowis divorced in two thousand and twelve after twenty three years of marriage.

Most recently, Buzz was in the news as part of a legal dispute in which he filed a lawsuit against two of his children and his former business partner, accusing them of trying to exploit him and steal his money. They contended that several of his friends were taking advantage of his dementia and Alzheimer's, alienating him from his family and draining his life savings. He later dropped the lawsuit, but has been largely out of the public eye ever since.

Many have asked why was Buzz the only one whose life was torn apart once he returned to Earth? And there are no easier pad answers. Neil was number one. He didn't have anything to prove, while he was far from the hermit many made him out to be. After his return, he wisely rationed himself. He spoke seldom about his public life and almost never about his private life. Michael said in his autobiography that the moon changed him,

gave him a cosmic perspective. He no longer got upset over the little things in life, no matter the accolades he received or the challenges he faced. The Earth continued to rotate just the same the Moon continued in its path unchanged. Buzz was Apollo's middle child, always trying to prove himself to his father, to all of us, an artist of all, to himself. Years after their return, he admitted that the crew of Apollo even didn't really stay

all that connected. They took their very different personalities and went their separate ways, only glancing into each other at special events every half decade or so. And perhaps in the end we shouldn't ask why Buzz cracked, but rather how could he not have? Given all the pressure he was under before, during, and even after the mission. We idolized these men. We made them international icons. We dubbed them heroes, and indeed they are, but they're also just human.

Follow eleven. You're a friendly Green team going off for the night and going off for the last time. When video a good night back on Apollo eleven, Bruce McCandless is saying his goodbyes, the Green Team's rotation won't come up again during the remainder of the mission. Than you, We appreciate all that. Man. Uh, we'll be thanking him back. I really enjoyed working with Thank you very much, Thank you very much working with him. Charlie Duke is the next one in the capcom seat, and he has some

bad news. The weather reports have been predicting beautiful skies over their landing zone tomorrow, but things have changed. A typhoon is brewing in the South Pacific, where they are expected to splash down. The weather is clobbering in at our targeted landing point due to uh scattered sun and storm.

We're gonna move there. The new coordinates are thirty degrees nineteen minutes north one minutes with the weather in that area is super le When Houston Miken get your chance to landing tomorrow, no go around, right, You're gonna let me land all right? That's right there. As with their moon landing, they're going to have to land down range of their intended target two hundred and fifteen nautical miles

to be exact. This gives Michael pause. It's a very different kind of entry, and not one Michael has trained for. Assuming the computer keeps working and guides them in, there will be no issues. But if something happens and Michael has to take control, they're in trouble. All good nights having been said, the crew of Follow eleven is now preparing to get their ten hours rest their last night in space. As they prepare for sleep, Michael finds himself

thinking about the men in the spacecraft with him. The astronauts began as competitors, and Michael assumed that once they became a crew, that would fall away and they dropped their guards, but they haven't. Michael realizes that they never share their thoughts or feelings. They only ever talk about the mission. Michael wants to get to know Neil better, but Neil seems to hold him and everyone at arms length, and oddly enough, Michael is the one keeping Buzz at

arm's length. Buzz is the more approachable, but Michael feels as if Buzz is always trying to probe him for weaknesses. Michael realizes that if they get home in one piece, their lives are going to change, and there will doubtless be challenges none of them can anticipate or are prepared for. Michael wishes they were closer and could draw on each

other for strength. He would later write in his autobiography, I don't have any idea what Neil and Buzz intend to do after the flight, or me, for that matter, but whatever it is, we should support each other, and I'm not sure we've yet built the basis for that support. Day eight is over. Day nine July begins with our

next and final episode. Apollo eleven is nearly home, but first it has to fall through a veil of fire, and we'll take a look at what the future holds for our space fairing culture as NASA and private industry prepared to return to the Moon and from there make history again by setting their sights on Mars. This podcast is a production of I Heart Radio and trade Craft Studios, Executive producers Ashe Serohia and Scott Bernstein, in association with

High Five Content and executive producer Andrew Jacobs. Amazing research and production assistance by associate producers Brian Schosau and Natalie Robomed. Our incredible editor is Bill Lance. Original music by Henry ben Wah. Licensing rights and clearances by Deborah Correa. Special thanks to James Hansen, the author of First Man, Lilly Coppel, the author of The Astronaut Wives Club, Andrew Chaykin, the author of A Man on the Moon, NASA Chief Historian

Bill Barry, ad Mission Controls Steve Bales. Special thanks to everyone at NASA who made this podcast possible, especially the incredible technological wizardry of consulting producer Ben Feist, who's responsible for organizing and cleaning the eleven thousand hours of mission audio you're hearing selections from in this podcast. Special thanks also to consultant Gina Delvac. This is a brand new podcast and we're so excited to be sharing it with you.

Help us spread it far and wide, tell your friends, leave ratings and reviews, and chat about it on social media. Our hashtag is nine D I J. We would love to hear what you think. New episodes come out each week, so be sure to subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Brandon Phipps. Thanks so much for listening, and I'll see you next episode.