Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985)

Hey, it's Earl Pal Slim with a special bonus episode of 70 MM a podcast for movie fans just like you. Uh disclaimer at the top of the show, we're not experts, but we do love watching movies. Uh, with me is my close friend and artist, Danny Haas. Hello. And our close friend and influencer, Pertalas. Crap my ass. And we of course have our very own producer, extraordinaire, co host of the Bat and Spider Podcast, one of the best to ever do it, Dale Inside the Booth.

A rare treat, my friends. How's it feel to be back? It's great to be here. I mean you're always in the booth with us. Yeah, I'm always fielding hitting the button or getting ready to if I have to. The dump button. Yeah. No, that's the one. Dump us. The dump button? The dump button if we say things we shouldn't be saying. Friday the thirteenth.

Bonus episode. We're snowed in in North Carolina. If you could see the snow right now. Prot, how do you feel about our chances of getting out of this place in 24 hours? Not good, honestly. Not good. Who would have thought the the one time there's a freak snowstorm we're in a secluded uh gravel road that's

five miles long to get here in south in North Carolina. It's something to think about. We'll think about as we're traversing this mountain roadside for twenty five minutes, Dale, getting out of here. Yeah, no, it's gonna be You know, the universe was just saying, let's just lay down a glaze of ice.

to these people before they even get to their house and then let's dump six to nine inches on'em. Will this episode even release? I don't I don't know. I don't know. Okay, that's something we need to figure out. As long as the Internet doesn't go out. Is this the last thing we'll record? Just I just want to give a rest in peace to those that don't make it out, you know, beforehand. Can we get a rest in peace in chat? Rest in peace for those that don't make it out.

Uh, we're here for a special bonus episode of Friday the thirteenth as tradition, if we're together. We'll record something. That's the tradition. We'll try to figure something out. Right. And we're in the midst of a Friday the thirteenth cinematic universe. The Jason universe, it's been called now officially. That's what it's called. Jason three. Jason one three universe. Jason one three. Yeah. Is there one that takes place in a snowed out cabin?

That's a great question. Dale? Del C. We probably have uh what half the journey still to discover this together as friends. Holy shit. Uh so we are in North Carolina. We're snowed in um Folks, if you're looking to book an Airbnb don't. Let's just get it out in the open. Ask the owners to make sure that they consult the driveway before you get there. If there's any question that there could be snow

And you're you you need to assume your Airbnb hosts don't live in the same state. They have no idea what snow is. They have no idea what salt is. Have you ever s have you ever seen a driveway like that, Pro? We saw you sliding down a driveway at a forty-five degree angle. I really I've never seen a driveway like that. It was a a sheet of ice. I mean the amount of uh hips that almost broke.

On that driveway? I saw Dale fall in in so many different ways. It was like a ragdoll GTA mechanic. Mm-hmm. I mean by the gods. The Unreal Engine, Dale the body, the marks that I still have on and around my legs and knees. This is the unreal engine. It's like the remember those video games that first came out where

You could use like telepathy in on like PlayStation. It was like one character you could like use the force. But like you could throw people and they just like went limp. That's like that's what Dale's body looked like at various points on that driveway. Yeah. Yeah, there's ten of us, but I'm the only one that You know, multiple, multiple, multiple contusions. Danny, you said you fell, but I missed it. I ate it by the the fire pit.

One piece of ice got me. Who did anybody s Protosol or how did it look like one. We all yeah. How did it look, Danny uh biting it out there on the ice? I mean he's a natural. Thank you to be honest. Thank you. He knows how to take a fall. I did well. Okay. All right. Well, we're five minutes in. That could be half the show for Friday the thirteenth, part five, a new beginning.

Uh, this is the next movie in our journey. Uh, as I said earlier at the top of the show. So let's get into it. Actually, we recorded our last one in October. Wasn't that long ago. Wow. This year? Yeah. It was months ago, believe it or not. You've already forgotten what happened in the last movie. Um no, this movie reminds us that Corey Feldman was in it. So that's all that mattered. Do you remember when he cut his hair?

Shaved his head while shaved his head while that girl was being assaulted. This is my plan. I'm gonna shave my head and freak him out. With a Gillette two blade. They didn't have more than two blades back then on a on a The innovation had not progressed past two blades yet. They were working hard. Gillette was working hard at that time, I'm sure, to get more blades, but it's planned work though. The Innovation Center at Gillette. Uh part of what's this movie all about?

Well yeah, we continue the the story of Tommy Jarvis. Uh we start off with a classic dream sequence. Mm. Uh we see young Corey Feldman Seeing Jason rise again out of the grave, but of course he snaps out and we flash forward Maybe five, ten years, Tommy is now a uh young man, uh, very much haunted. by his past, by what happened there. Uh in and out, mental institutions, asylum. Um and now he's gonna go to a a a camp for disturbed youth. to be rehabilitated, I guess.

Uh we'll see. Not sure. Yeah, not sure what what the point of this place is. We'll get into it. But the he gets there and um you know his his past follows him there. Uh there's a a young man who gets acts. To death. I think that's how it starts. I don't know if that's the first kill. Someone dies. Um And then they start dropping like flies. Uh Jason will have his way or is it someone else? Is it Jason? Yeah. Right. Oh a new figure comes comes to town. And um, you know, Tommy Jarvis.

You think he might be healed through more murder, but and I mean I cannot wait to see where we go next, F-13 part six, uh, because it's probably only going to get worse. These are a tragedy, folks, these stories. This is what happens. This is about, you know, mental health in America and the failings that we have for our youth. So take notes as we all did. Sobering stuff. I just glanced over and saw Dale's notes and he was swiping for a while. He's got a lot of notes.

I can I'm embarrassed to even pull mine back up. What note what one note did you even write down, Dave? Did you write any notes down for I wrote down Fedora? Yes. Who had a Fedora? It's th Fedora from The Last Crusade. The guy who runs the Fedora. Oh yeah. I was wondering where I recognized that guy. Who F who River Phoenix takes the Fedora from the original Indiana Jones. The OG. Yeah. Belongs in a museum. Yeah, he's running a

I mean what's the thing? Is this on the books? Is this off the books? He's just running a school for Potential psychopaths mentally you saw um employment rules up on the wall. There's there's official There's OSHA. There was an OSHA. There's an OSHA pictures. Yeah. But I mean that guy who's chopping wood who killed

The one dude, what was his back what's his backstory? Where he just murdered the biggest thing. Reading up the backstory from anybody. How did he did he pass the test to get to this school for the gifted? How was he really And why was he given an axe? Yes, that should be on his handbook. Bill can't get an axe. Just to make sure he doesn't get sharp objects. Well not included. I mean I think one of the if you if if you look at the for K of this In the manager's office, there is a

There is a list of rules and what this house and house and does and does not provide. The only thing they do not provide is condoms. Condoms to God. We're in sync right now. So, uh Proto, had you ever heard of this movie before? Any scenes? What's your backstory with a new beginning? This was supposed to kick start the franchise again. I have no backstory with this. I don't think I n had seen anything from this ever.

Knew nothing going into this one. I think this is the fifth movie in five years, I think, for the franchise. That's crazy. This was five years? Yeah. After the last one? No. Five years every year since the first movie they've had a Friday thirteenth movie. Holy shashing in. Just knocked Danny. Money making money. That's incredible. Do you have any backstory with this uh film, Danny? Seen any clips? No, no, no. I um no, nothing seemed familiar uh in this

And I was kinda bummed we didn't get more Feldman, honestly. Feldman was gone. Yeah. Also, old Feldman looks nothing like him. Right. And so I kind of wish that they would remake this one with core current Corey. My God. In the mental facility. We keep the beginning. Okay. We keep the beginning. Uh huh. And then we just redo everything with current Corey Feldman. But then every character is also Corey Feldman. Oh. He's playing different characters.

And he's also Jason. Imagine Corey now in his like halfway house room and he's just performing his dance moves. He's like practicing his d erratic dancing style. Michael Jackson posted on the wall. recommend or Instagram is when he's doing like the solo like right before he starts singing. And then he steps up to the mic and the mic hits her in the mouth. My God, that one's an all timer.

We gotta screen mirror that one on the T V or uh I just I got a clip recently and Corey debuted a new song on Howard Stern's Channel Nine show from way back when. And then they just like roasted him as he was singing. Yeah, uh Howard and the crew. Corey alone. Have you seen yeah, of course, uh get help. We we love Corey. We hope he gets help. He doesn't need help. He's doing great. Um, have you seen the clip of him doing the f his first concert as like the Michael Jackson? Or he's like a kid.

It's like really early in his career, maybe a few years after Goonies, it's like, here's Corey Feldman doing a performance. And it's like these teens in the audience going nuts. And it's him doing essentially what he does today. It's like Michael Jackson perfectly. I mean, I caught wind of a Corey Feldman documentary coming out soon. We gotta watch that. Yeah, that's that's a fact. Are we doing it on the pod? Jim Cummings putting that together. You know, Jim and I are mutual.

Same. Are we? Same. Jim, come on the pod. We need to make some moves. Jim Cummings X70 MM. Ex Corey Feldman. I think we should make moves. Okay, we'll s we'll make sure. Drop some iPhone tape. I have his email too, I think.

Well, we'll see what we can do. All right. I'll slide in the DMs. Uh Dale, what's your history with the New Beginning? You're the connoisseur. You're the Saurian F F thirteen. As I've probably said f at least four times before, this um you at I can always remember number five like being the most shown on USA. Really? Like I just remember watch I r I feel like it was on at least once a month.

Like a Friday night, they would do two or three Friday the thirteenth movies on USA. And this was I remember this always beak the one. This may be the one I've I've the first one I've ever seen. Is it'cause it may be the most tame? It's like T D edit like G rated, I feel like it's like. So many kills that cut away from the kill. Yeah, pair like there's a f I guess famously the director even brags that I mean he basically filmed porn. Oh. For this and like it was all edited away.

A lot. Like score porn or actual porn? Like actual porn. Like yeah, like so much gyrating and like riding on hips and whatnot. Was he I looked up his wiki. It said he was into like it said adult. And then but then separately hardcore. Did he do porn previously? Yeah, I think he did. Yeah. He did some dang. Oh. Imagine what he would have had what he had for that outhouse.

Those two in there. I watched it again with my wife and my last review was about like I couldn't believe that this woman was singing to her mom while he's taking a crack. Oh my god, imagine and sh and they're like in love. He's pooping and they're singing and Amanda's like If you ever ask me to do that, well, I'm getting a divorce. Like she was so repulsed by what she was seeing on that portage. Amanda. Amanda, please. I mean, can you imagine if your wife sang to you while you were going too?

No. I can't when I was watching that scene, I can remember when I started courting my now wife and I would I would go over her house. She lived with her mom at the time. And there would be times, probably every time I went over there, it would come down to me having to crap so bad that but I would s be too embarrassed to use her bathroom that I Sometimes I had to literally stop talking mid sentence to concentrate on keeping it inside me.

I didn't I did not want anyone to know that I had to that I was gonna ruin her bathroom. Okay. So I would keep it inside until the pain went away. The gentleman. And he's just like There's enchiladas, I gotta go.

I gotta go uh take care of that. It's also like they build him up to be the coolest dude ever. And he's had in this man, he's like, Baby, I gotta go take a shit. This itch will let us working fast. Yeah, yeah. It's just in the movie. It's just like so there's so much crapping in this movie. But also nobody wipes. Yeah. Like w is this the thing in the eighties? People didn't wipe? I don't know maybe they had toilet paper yet. I think they were too afraid to film

Wiping? Yeah, the act of it. Like and maybe it's too divisive, like, you know, for some reason he's wiping from underneath. Right. back to front or something and it was just and America just couldn't handle like the divisiveness, their opinions on wiping. Well he turns so quick on her too, because one moment they're singing and then he's like

Bitch, I'm coming out there to beat your ass. I like couldn't believe it. Yeah, for shaking the uh Yeah, shaking it, yeah. Mm-hmm. I mean he he she changed the mood. He said bitch. But also that whole scene is so weird because the kid at the house And the woman who helps run it. Yeah. Like she takes him to go meet his brother. And it's like this weird jokey double date thing. Like what's going even what's on going on in this

scene. And his girlfriend, the the brother's girlfriend is just like laying prone in the back of the van. I know. Like she can't even walk. Like she might be wheelchair boundary. What was it's just such a weird scene. Yeah. And then and then the baby boy baby brother Reckless arrives and the there's just so much pot smoke in that van. Yeah. And this this Person in charge.

Both little reckless. In the lead in a leadership role, they're just but both peeking their heads in there, getting contact. Brawless. Remember she's joking like about about him getting a beer. We're like, Oh yeah, I'll take a beer and then she's like, Oh stop. Yeah, no, no, he's a he's a child. Seven years old. Going on. And he's like looking at all the things his brother has, and it says, Freaking A, where'd you get that? And it pans to the girlfriend. Yeah.

Yeah, and she can't move back. She's not moving. She's like lying completely prone. I don't know. Uh pro, what's at the top of your list for Friday the 13th? Uh just reminder: Jason Universe, part five. Oh let's see. J S one three universe. I mean my n my notes are all over the place. Um Well, how did you feel about No Jason? Right. Let's get into that. Elephant in the room. Well, you know, I d I didn't really know what to make.

what sense to make of this, right? Because it you're not really sure and they let you think, you know, is it Tommy? You know, who is it? There's a few red herrings here and there. Right. Um I gotta say, I was a little shocked when it ended up being the paramedic. I have to say. Yes. That was not what I was expecting. Right. That he was the one doing all this work. I mean, where did he get the bald cap?

To go Jason on him. Like he was cap. That's right. Halloween adventure. I even forgot the halfway through I was like, Did he just shave his head to be Jason? Very weird. I mean that entire chasing a third act, it's like, okay, it's Tommy. Like, where's Tommy? He Tommy hasn't been on the move in the on screen in fifty-five minutes. Yeah. It's Tommy. We get it. And then Tommy appears. Like, what?

Like, what's he been doing? They throw so many red herrings. Even the the nate the guy, the rando who comes to work at the hick house. Right. Excuse me. Yeah. You you know what I mean. Mm-hmm. Um he gets killed real quick though.

I think oh yeah, the guy who's like working for a meal. Yeah. And he looks evil. He comes to the house and just looks evil. He starts licking his lips when he sees those two people doing it. Yeah, he had to watch those people doing it in the woods. We'll get we'll get into that. We'll get into that. How could you go to that house and you meet this woman and you're expecting to get paid by her? Was that normal? Maybe you tell us this is God's country. I need a meal. I'll work for it.

It feels normal, right? Maybe back then. Maybe it was back then. Will you feed me? I'll plow your lawn. Is that a metaphor? Was it? I mean I wouldn't be eating anything that woman made. He had to have been so hungry. My God. The way her son was eating. They were like The Texas Chainsaw family. That's what it feels like. You're right.

I also felt like that first kill was what's his name from Texas Chainsaw. Dude, so d I wrote that in my notes. I was like, Is this Franklin from Texas Chainsaw Massacre? Oh, yeah. Um... Pranks. Yes, we did. Shelly. Yeah. Shelly. I was like, wait, this is S is Shelley.

Uh so Franklin and Shelly mixed into one and we get this guy. Yeah. Who gets offed in a shocking way. I think um it's really cool to s to know what you know after you experience the twist of the movie and then to go back And to see the paramedic

like live as he sn s knows as he sees it's his son that got murdered. Like the ex the the expressions on his face and stuff, like the way he's acting, you can kind of tell like something snaps in his mind, even though he doesn't talk at all. It's kind of like rewarding On rewatches, if you ever had the gumption to rewatch something like I think it like works. And then there's another scene where I think they approach Pam, I think, and Reckless approach the paramedic on the side of the road.

And that I just noticed that today, like maybe That's when he killed his coworker and then put on the Jason mask and like you know, they like caught him getting dressed as to be Jason around that that ambulance or whatever. Yeah, I remember he m I remember I definitely remember his reaction to start the movie.

And then I was just like, okay, they're just gonna throw this guy into the fray as like the potential killer. Like who's the killer if it's not Jason? But then his partner is like eating it up. Remember, he's like laughing when he re reveals that it's the dead guy. I I'm assuming maybe he didn't know that it was his son, or if he did, that's pretty psychotic.

Right? Yeah, I don't think he knew. But yeah, I mean he was like, Take a look at this. But even then, it's like there's twenty people around. Can you calm down and not act like that? Like a nasal. How did this guy become a paramedic? Yeah. Sick. So what did you think of NoJason, Dale? I mean it hurts. It stings, I think, the first couple of times. I'm I've like went through all the stages of grief long ago. I I think it's cool, but also, you know, you these movies are coming out one at a time.

And you just wasted a year or whatever with a w waiting for your next Friday the thirteenth and you get a no Jason Jason, it's like, what did I just watch? I just wasted all my time. Yeah. I would have loved to know the initial reactions of people. I think it was bad. Very poor. I kind of hate it. And I don't even an F thirteen fan. I mean I'm a casual. And I I know last Episode re recorded, you know, you guys were like this just tell us just tell me if Tommy Jarvis comes back.

And I was like, uh yeah, like I didn't want to spoil anything, but like technically yeah, Tommy Jarvis is back, but you only see Corey like for five seconds. He was doing Goonies at this time. Yeah. That he'd come back he came back even for a couple of minutes. Okay, here we go. And then my first note was, Who buried Jason? I know. I know we're in a dream sequence. I'm like, Jesus, someone buried Jason and

A tribute. Well didn't didn't his mom get buried by the side of the road? Remember that? You know, that's right. They're not even buried next to each other. One of the strangest grave sites ever. Yeah, I couldn't remember what happened with uh Feldman in this.

Like I didn't know what was going on at the start. I've watched this movie before and I barely remember. I watched it like a couple of years ago and I barely remember anything about this. I don't know if that was just a lazy watch. I remember the the shitting scenes. Um crabbed my ass. That was a huge moment for me when that guy said that. It was amazing.

I mean people are just going to take dumps left and right. Like the car breaks down and the guy's like, I gotta go take a crap, I'll be right back. This film is very slim coded. It is. It was written for me. I mean, you got a porn director adding in Every character had to take a hot shit. Right. What's going on? And a wife expressing love in a way that feels impossible. It's filling gaps in my life, is really what this movie's doing. Right. Danny, what's on your list?

Your short list. My short list. Have we run out? No. Um we have. Uh I have written down a bunch of pussies, but I don't know when that was said. I don't remember that either. Somebody I somebody in the movie said that or you said that? No, no, I wouldn't I would never willingly say that. Uh I was quoting someone from the film saying that. Um

I'm out of notes. Okay. Starting for shocked by the amount of F bombs in this. The kid the driver, that kid was like he was going off with the F bombs. Yeah. I was it's like he just learned it that day. Yeah. That uh Texas chainsaw mom called his called her son F Wad. Can maybe should I issue a preemptive apology for saying the word hick? I I I don't know.

Thank you. You know, anyone that lives in God's country, I didn't know that was a bad word. You're n you're northerners. You'll get it one day. This is this me learning. This is what the show's all about. I gotta learn what we go through. I'll never say that word again. No, you it's okay. Never You take something away from each and every recording. Something that adds to the to you. We grow a little.

Uh, Dale, your list? Uh well, you know, I I always think it's funny, but this is why we need medical advocacy, somebody to advocate for uh, you know, uh uh Tommy Jarvis ward of the state. Right. Haunted for years, barely speaks. They send him to a a uh rehab facility on Camp Crystal Lake, on the grounds of Crystal Lake, like. What you're haunted by the specter of Jason Boorhees and they're just like, let's send them to that uh halfway house on cr and Crystal Lake. Ground Zero. Ground Zero.

Like, let's see if that fixes him. Either fixes him or just cooks his brain until he His brain seemed pretty cooked. Like remember when there's one scene where they go through his drug list? Right? Where the they then they remark like this this guy this guy's done. Like the amount of drugs that he was on. Yeah. He's also ripped though.

Do you notice his body when he took his shirt off? Yeah. What is going on? Yeah. That's the drugs. Karate. I was shocked though by h being completely inept at the end When he gets slashed across the chest and then he climbs up in the barn.

And then he just immediately passes out. And I thought this was like a trap, right? Like he's faking it. Oh wow. Jason comes up there to be like he's gonna jump up, right? Jason. But no, like he literally just like passed out. Right. And was out of the fight at that point. I couldn't believe it. He forgot all of his training at that moment. It's years of training. I wrote This nerd is a ripped. That's when he first took it off. Amanda thought that that first kid looked like Georg like a Georgie.

When he's wearing his yellows, he's like, is this a Georgie homage? I'm pretty sure he just walked off a set of Goonies in that outfit. Yeah. Um, let's see. Let's see if I have any other notes here. The mustache dude. The param mustache paramedical. Oh yeah. God. Like Crystal Lake's number one eligible bachelor. How is that guy the most eligible bachelor? This waitress is like fawning over him. Yeah, really. I mean he had a nice car. Right. But after that He's got nothing going on. Sick.

He's honestly sick. It was a nod. It was a it was a just a thank a thank you to all the people going to see this movie. You know, like all the people like us. Like let's prop him up. Uh pro. Um the the Texas Chainsaw family, I felt like that guy, uh the guy on the motorcycle felt like a Randy Quaid homage. Yeah. I can see that. Very much so. And I loved um

Him riding the bike and when he gets it, his head getting lopped off. Oh my god. That might have been the kill of the movie for me. Okay. That was just fantastic. That was good. Okay. So many k kills were so G rated. It was really weird. But then you'd have like some weird ones where Belt to the eyes, grip def on the tree. Oh my god. What?

That was insane. Just slumps over. That'd be the that that might be the dumbest kill so far of the series. Like, how are we not escaping that? Like, how is that even right? What is the setup for this? That dude was 6'4, absolutely shredded. He couldn't get out of that. How do you get out of that? Your skull is being compounded against a tree. How do you let it happen?

You're sh you're in shock. You're in shock. You're an absolute shock. Drain of his energy. It was like 10 second coitus. Yeah, that was super short. He should have had more energy. I know. But I mean She seemed fine. In the dirt. Uh then I what else did I gotta go wash? Yeah, was it he or oh yeah, I think he's like I gotta go wash up.

Yeah, what? Where are you going to wash up? Yeah. You're in the farm. Is there a stream nearby? What is happening? He walked like fifty minutes to a lake or something. What was it? Yeah, and then what's he do what's he washing? Right. If anyone needs to wash up, it's Didn't he put his jeans back on at by that point? You still gotta wash those jeans, my guy. Right. You got a lot more work to do. It's not that easy. The one next on your list.

I don't know. I mean I i I do have a note here that says Tommy is like uh Maverick when he's spacing out, waiting for asking for goose to speak to him. It just totally zones out. Completely. I think next to my list is, you know, I They try to set it up like this halfway house is like we don't really have any rules whatever but like all these patients are just like screwing each other in the worst way. Where's the oversight?

This guy just closes his s office slatted door and and lets the inmates run the asylum. Right. As it were. Did you see that sign in the office? It said help destroy a family tradition, prevent child abuse. I did see that. Oh my God. It was pretty like it was one of the more noticeable signs. Yeah. I was like, that's a wow. It's pretty hardcore. Yeah. It was. A family tradition. Yeah.

I mean he might also a man to point out she like goes to the office with a boss, Indiana Jones, and he's like, Hey, can you show him to his room? All she does is literally just point down the hall. Like go go upstairs, uh first door on the left. Yeah. Like he has no idea where he's going. Tommy just goes silently stand in a corner of the room. And then Tommy unpacks. three rubber masks. That's like all of his belongings. Yeah. He can't part with them.

I mean, you gotta check his luggage. That's a red flag. Yeah, you're not checking anything. You gotta check Tommy's luggage. It's no wonder everyone got killed in this place. Uh let me see what else I have in my notes. How can he see anything in those glasses? Oh yeah, when it was raining in his dream. Oh yeah, glasses were covered.

I couldn't remember if this was the one where I guess it's next movie, but when the suspenders dude from Return of the Living Dead I think they like find Jason's grave. And they I think they stab him with like a metal rod, like his coffin. Yeah. And then that gets stuck struck by lightning and that's what brings chasing back in. Oh, see that's rats. Yeah, sick. Yeah, that's really cool. It's the first ten seconds.

Um also every time we watch one of these movies, I just wish they brought back that like 80s dancing music from was it part two? Oh sorry. Why did they get rid of that music? I know. Sheesh. Trying to recreate the wheel over here. It was not memorable. The Sheriff Goober.

What is that guy? What is going on? He looked like a porn actor that they may just I think maybe most of them were. Yeah. Yeah. Friend of the director. Except for the sheriff. He was wearing like a size small. He needed to size up. Well you know, Ron Jeremy. I'm spoken about his upper body. Um T T boy. The sheriff is T T boy. I don't have a whole lot more notes, I don't think. Oh yeah, the dude the the brother is also from Return of the Living Dead. He plays one of the punks, the enchilada guy.

Oh, the enchilada guys are punk. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's right. The Porta John Enchilada shit. That was like a Jurassic Park homage. Tommy's hair. I was almost so convinced that it was Tommy. Like he has the worst hair in the movie. Every scene, I don't know what is going on. And then when I was convinced I've seen this movie before.

And then I convinced myself it was Tommy and I was like, Oh, he's wearing a wig. That's why his hair is so bad because he's like bald like Jason. Right. And then I was like, Oh, you idiot. Tommy's still trying to cut his own hair after all these It's so bad. It's like Bill Murray from Kingpin levels of like flying around. Um Robin looks like the sister from Stranger Things. I think the one of the gals one of the final girls look like the the girl from Stranger Things.

Oh. With the curly hair, shotgun girl. Was she the counselor? The counselor. Yeah. Yeah. With the white t shirt that got wet. That was a nice touch. Flopping around. Respectable touch. Every scene took forever. I wrote down robot dance. Oh, that chick who was dancing to the music in a room. Oh, she was she was on another level.

It was cra And that scene was like that's ten minutes of her dancing alone before Jason gets in there. It's not Jason. Quote. I'm doing air quotes, Jason. Thank you. Him sneaking into that room and somehow like her not seeing him, like there's just no way. There's no way. Sneaking into the house. Right. Like he's just waltzing around that house in full regalia.

Maybe the mask is off and everyone's like, Oh the paramedic's here. Oh yeah. Oh paramedic dad. How you doing? Sorry about your kid. Yeah. What's with the cover was it probably made more sense in the director's cut, yeah.

So yeah, is there another cut of this movie with like the scenes that he cut out? Not to my know no, not not the way they describe he describes it, that doesn't exist. Yeah, he hasn't really looked like he made any other mainstream movies after this. Back back to the uh The underworld. Uh Dini, final thoughts, rating? Um no, I don't have any other notes.

I think this is definitely the worst one that we've seen so far. I think I was just bored, really. I don't like the Jason, the the fact that Jason's not The killer really bugged me. Um I did like his death at the end though, where he landed on whatever that machine is that has all those spikes. Oh my god, yeah. I mean that's just asking to be murdered on. Uh I'm at two stars. Two stars.

Didn't have a great time with us. Yeah, this is hard to it's a hard one. Had my hopes up with Corey at the beginning and then they just shot that down real quick. Dale? Yeah uh I'm I go f I go four stars. Okay. I I enjoy this movie for what it is, but I do accept all of its You know, I ha I just have fun. Right. It's been a quote reclaimed, you know, since people have taken it back. Call Jason Universe heads. Jason One Threes. Real ones. J one threes. Is Jason Universal one three the thing?

When we were in Florida, they had a Jason Universe sign up. Yeah. Oh my god. Uh I think I'm going down in rating this time. I I just was not I had a three star rating last time I watched this and I was like, what was I thinking? Yeah. I really questioned what I was doing. I was really bored this time around. Probably not gonna watch this again for a long time, two stars. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Uh I had a few more notes.

In the eighties, did every young woman just walk around topless? Right. Doors wide open. Was this the way? This was just normal. We used to be a great nation. Yeah. Cutting that out. The lady in the woods. Uh the lady in the woods who, you know. Yeah. Yeah. They do it. Her last name is Voorhees in real life.

Are you serious? Yeah. She's in Letterboxd last night. Deborah Voorhees is her name. Deb. Her death was gnarly. The Yeah, there's hedge clippers into the eyeballs. Deborah is such an eighties name. How many like people younger than us do you know the Deborah Deb? Stranger Things was making it popular.

Uh, I love the body through the window when Jason throws the bot Jason throws the body through the window. I feel like that is an iconic move in these movies now. I've noticed it. I think every one there's one of those, which is great. Always look for that. Throws them so hard too. Yeah. Universal ride where you get thrown out of a lobo. A lot of JC Universe movie.

Jason's greatest enemy, a tractor going five miles an hour. Oh my gosh. So where was all that kid, dude? Find go run to find a tractor and learn how to drive a tractor and then drive it out to try to kill Jason. Jason. Jason. And then the followed up with the the silent chainsaw in the closet. Oh my god. Like oh yeah. She just comes out and the chainsaw's on. Jason didn't hear anything. A silent chainsaw. That battle too.

was excruciating. I do like I do like to think in my twisted head that from the chainsaw sequence on, that Roy, Jason, is Trying to appear menacing but also doesn't want to die by a chainsaw or like aga or when he's like hanging off the edge of the barn, ready to be impaled, like he's like trying to save himself. Whereas I think, you know, Jason Voorhees

Would be so stoic. He would might he might take a chainsaw to the shoulder or something. Whereas this guy's like just actively trying to not die because he's flesh and blood. I like to think. You know, like I stare at his movements and think about his s trying to survive this. He looks like a totally normal guy in that mask. Like he's walking around, it's like he's wearing slacks. He just came from like a dance rehearsal or something. My last note, uh

Tommy in the hospital. Now like he's like placed in this hospital, right? Recovering from his injuries. Yeah. And the Jason mask is in the drawer at the hospital. Don't know. Some sick person put that in a Oh, this must just belong to him. Why is that? And the steak knife as well is therefore. Oh yeah. Yeah, that was strange. Makes you think. Yeah, that ending is really stupid. But yeah, this was um Yeah, I felt like it was it was the most crass, maybe in terms of

The pooping, the sex, the language, but then also like the softest in terms in terms of like the kills and the horror of it. So it's a weird mixture. Um yeah, I'm at two stars as well. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Okay, let's see what's next on our list. I gotta pull up uh what is six called? F thirteen letterbox. Let me see if that's a good thing. The new new beginning. All right, Friday the thirteenth. Uh I'm gonna scroll down to see what's next. Um

Oh, here we go. Friday the thirteenth, part six. Jason Lives. Jason li oh, he's back. What year is this? Kill or be back, yeah. Okay. Uh, Tommy Jarvis, tormented by the fear that maybe Jason isn't really dead, unwittingly resurrects the mass murderer for another bloody rampage. I didn't know he was a part of it. Yeah, so he's the dude from Night of the uh um Return of the Living Dead is Tommy Jarvis in part six. Oh okay. This is also the year after this one this one. I can't believe it.

There's no stopping them. I can't believe it. Doing work. What a run. Um hopefully this audio file gets out. Hopefully we get off this mountain. Oh my god. Um what a journey. Thanks everyone for joining us on this journey. Get ready next time for uh another Jason Universe film. 70mm is a tape deck production featuring original artwork provided by Danny Ha. Spiritual guidance and top secret movie insider information provided by Protolexis.

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