Episode 715 - How to Decide What Is Fair

this is where leadership gets real. This is where there is no Paul to hide behind, no handbook to quote, no checkbox that magically tells you what to do. This is where you have to decide what is fair. And let me tell you something right out of the gate. Fair is not about making both people happy. Fair is about making a decision you can stand behind when no one is clapping for you. That is the difference between a manager and a leader. So how do you do it? First,

you have to separate feelings from facts. Feelings matter, they always matter, but they cannot be the steering wheel of your decision. They can sit in the passenger seat, they can talk, they can influence, but they do not get to drive. Your job is to find the facts. What actually happened, what can be proven, what can be observed, what is consistent across both stories. You're not looking for perfection here, You're looking for clarity, because once you have clarity,

you can move forward with confidence. Second, you have to zoom out. Most leaders make the mistake of deciding fairness based only on the moment in front of them, and that is a trap. Fairness is not just about this one situation. It is about your entire system of leadership. Ask yourself, if I make this decision today, what message does it send tomorrow to the rest of the team, to your culture, to your standards, Because every decision you make becomes a precedent, whether you realize it or not,

and your team is always watching, always. Third, you have to anchor your decision in your values, not your mood, not your stress level, not who you like, more your values, accountability, integrity, ownership. If you have been listening to this podcast for any amount of time, you know I talk about this constantly, Because when you don't have a rule to follow, your values become the rule. Let me say that again. When

there's no rule, your values are the rule. That is what you base fairness on, not convenience, not popularity, not avoiding conflict values. Fourth, you have to accept that fair does not mean equal. This is where a lot of leaders get tripped up. They think fairness means splitting the difference, meeting in the middle, giving both sides a little something. That's not fairness that is compromised for the sake of comfort.

Fairness is about giving each person what they have earned based on their actions, their behavior and the impact they had. Sometimes that means one person walks away feeling great and the other doesn't. That does not mean your decision was wrong. It means leadership is uncomfortable. Fifth, you have to communicate your decision clearly. No corporate buzzwords, no vague language, no hiding behind This is what we decided. You own it. You explain what you saw, what you considered, and why

you made the decision you did. And here's the key. You do it in a way that shows respect to both people, even if the outcome is not in their favor. Because people can accept decisions they do not like if they believe the process was fair. That is leadership credibility right there. And now I'll give you a quick story. Years ago, I had two team members come to me over a scheduling dispute. One said the other manipulated the schedule. The other said they followed the process exactly. No clear

rule violation, no smoking guns. So I did three things. I reviewed the system, I looked at past behavior, and I asked one question, who is taking ownership and who is deflecting it? That question told me everything I needed to know, because fairness is not only about what happened. It is about how people show up when it matters. That is red key leadership, high consequence moments where your

behavior defines you. I made the decision. One person agreed, the other did not, but both understood it, and more importantly, the team understood it. That is how you build trust, not by avoiding hard decisions, but by making them the right way. So let me land this for you. When you are faced with two different perspectives and no clear rule, here is your playbook. First, find the facts, zoom out and think long term anchor in your values. Understand that

fair is not always equal, and communicate with clarity. In ownership. That is how you decide what is fair, not perfect, not painlessly, but with integrity, and that is what your team needs from you, not perfection leadership. And at the end of the day, every decision you make is a deposit into your leadership reputation. You are either building trust

or chipping away at it. So the next time two people walk into your office with two different stories, don't rush it, slow it down, think it through, stand on your values because fairness is not found in a policy manual, It's found in you. This has been the seven minute Leadership podcast and I thank you for listening.