Life IS Several Things At Once

So my birthday is in a couple of days.

Where I just say a few days from this recording, and I'm tired, you until I'm tired.

I'm tired. I'm gonna take my hair thing out. I'm gonna wash my hair at some point.

It's called fifty plus of course, and I'm you know, I'm turning fifty six.

Such a weird number.

I am laughing because of how life can be. And I really this week has been a collection of moments that encapsulate how life can be.

So here are the contrasts.

I had a life coaching client just praise me for helping them out and being there for them and having a positive outcome to a problem. Another coaching client had epiphanies while we're we were having our meeting. They completely were just like, oh my, I didn't heard that. I thought of It was wonderful to see the clicks happening for them. Meanwhile, me, I'm flying apart inside. It feels like sometimes I feel like my insides are a mess. They're all over the place because I haven't really sat

Making lobster tails.

Yes, my mother had bought these lobster tales a while back, and I had to cook three of them because they were they were defrosted.

They were frozen to frosted and cooking.

So I'm prement air fryer season a premier fryer to cook it. And I'm like, lobster's expensive, right, Lobster is like a delicate delicacy, you know, seafood. So I'm laughing and I'm like, I have for I don't have a lot of groceries. I'm running out of food on a lot of groceries. I don't have any money right now to go grocery shopping, so I'm taking what I have.

And so I was just kind of laughing.

At the juxtaposition of I being this high quality seafood, which is I.

Mean totally a luxury, right, because I think we're gonna make a lobster roll the wort.

I cooked it because it was late at night, so I cooked it and I taste I can look called taste, but.

I put it.

There's some butter, and it's sit overnight, it's cooked. I had to cook them. So I'm like getting ooh. I put some it's a cocktail saucepan or maybe I don't know if it's this olive oil, mayonnaise whatever. Put it with some avocado. Put it in a roll, and I gotta be a lobster roll sandwich. Meanwhile, I have I have no money in my account to really buy anything

And that's life.

On my birthday is coming up, and no one has said, James, you want to take you out for your birthday every year. So when it's like I'll take you out from lunch, take your breaks, I'm like, I'm in town. It falls on a Saturday.

I go frid to average and I tap you off for their birthdays all the time.

And it's I'm feeling as a really weird kind of way, like no one has stepped up to say, like j will take you out, and.

I'm like, anybody owes me, don't have to take me out, as I don't he owes me anything. But it's is kind of funny me. I celebrate our people's birthdays.

I get excited, we take them out, you stuff, and I'm like, no one's doing.

It for me.

That's very interesting. So it makes me depressed and bitter. But then it's another side of you that goes well if I can, if someone sends me some money or something for my birthday, then I'll order me a nice big dinner from somewhere I like brake food, and I'll just sit in my room, watch TV and eat. The next day is Mother's Day, so I got that. The next day is Mother's Day, so I gotta fogot that. But I was like, maybe that's what my birthday is. Maybe,

Because no one's doing anything for you.

But then on the other side, you're like, but I will be okay cause I could.

I'll be in my room and I'll just or maybe I'll run.

Out my own thing myself to dinner somewhere and don't you know, and actually I will be okay, I'll be fine. I've done it before, so it's not it's like that. It's so this is what life's about as you get older, no matter what the world's trying to tell you. Now, there are shades and gray away. Nothing is black and white. They're sweaty from the side. We're all different sides, and two or three things can be happening at the same

You know.

It's it's like several things can happen at the same time, and I think that's the lesson.

That's the lesson.

I you know, my mother is like like a child sometimes, so I have to like look out for her as if I'm raising a child. But she's older. There's two things happening at once, but she's my mother. It's just oh my god, it's it's it's crazy, you know, it's crazy. Ours entrepreneur, So I'm a gig worker. I have to make money. I had to cancel my Vegas trip because I just I don't have the money, and I worry about my mom and her health, what's going on with her,

And then.

I have opportunities to make some money. So my Mike, I got expenses now, other expenses that were unexpected that I have to come up with what.

I think about the.

Next month, Like I got, I got, I got, I got a lot of expenses done for into May. But what I think about June, well, I got the munths are going by, they seemingly are going by so fast. There's that too, You're like, it's already gonna be my birthday. I gotta even know how I don't know this year started or five months into the year already, Like it's just so bizarre to me.

So it's it's a system of this and that this or that this with that.

I mean, I think I'm excited about some projects I'm working on. Has some really fun projects and they're gonna be really good and excited, but also might I got like more money? It's like I forgot how about do that. I get tired because I'm working in seven days a week.

All the time, and one time in the garden. I want time to be able to go on my own and like do some walks. And it's just, oh my god, I have so much. I have so much of my plate. I can't even till I pay plates. I can't even tell you.

And and it's it's I don't and I don't see it changing anytime soon. And there are may days I just handle it. I don't even think about it, so I just I just do it, damn it, and I just I get through it and I'm done. And then there's some days it feels very heavy. That's what fifty plus is. I think that's what many of us, it's like like fifty to seventy feel.

It is everything is just really heavy.

And then after that, as I learned from some of the older people, things get scary. So as my aunts said, getting old is not for sisses, and she said that in a way that's not you know, it's meant to be part comedy, but it's kind of like it's there are a lot of facets to getting older that are actually larger than age. But just but are because of age. I mean, I'm tired of certain subjects, but they are every day in my face at this age. And that's that's also another thing too.

I don't know. I just it's ado kids, I don't know.

That's why I have the show, because the show is a space for me to talk about the age issue.

And a lot of the issues are related to this. I know that many of you can relate. Yeah, I'll leave it there. I'll leave it here for now. Things should let me kind of.

Blog to you, so to speak, because blog it's a it's an audio thing like this is like a journal entry, right, thing said, We do that fifty pluses on Austre resource platforms.

I'm James Slat Junior. I'll be a year older daytime I talk to you. Fine,