So my older daughter's mother is dying. It could be any day now. Well it could be any day now, but it could mean she could live for a while or ago. In five minutes, the mother of my oldest daughter and my daughter is going through what I'm going through. It's my own mother, but her mother took a very severe turn this last couple of days for this show fifty plus. What I'm what I what's bringing to MINDE
to me is I don't I don't know. My feelings are about the whole thing because we're not close like that, and we're not together and that kind of stuff. Boys share family and all stuff. But it's just my thought I'm trying to My thought is, wow, I'm at that age fifty plus. This is what happens. This is what is actual people, your peers start to start to go and depending on who you are with, who you decide to co parent with, as we always choose, we always, we all.
Choose we coparent with right who you're coparing with.
It if you're not together, you're not in love or together or you know all that stuff. It's strange we hear something's going on with them, because at one point you probably did love them. You probably were in love, you were all these things that you're not anymore. But where does it go. I've seen couples, ex couples get back together, not together, but like towards the end of life reconcile.
I guess sneeze will.
Come out, reconcile or make peace for each other. And so it was beautiful to watch. You're like, oh, this guy's very sweet, like they're just kind of like, you know, let's let bygones be bygones. And he almost reminded my parents happened divorced since nineteen eighty four, and they are to see each other the nine each other's lives at all. And they saw each other at a funeral from my grandmother a lot. I guess it was a brief. I wasn't there, so I guess it was like a brief. Hello,
he's remarried somebody else. She had to be married, but she had lost her husband. I even know if he knows she lost her husband, have no idea. Always wanted they were together like twenty five years. They were in love at one point. They have kids together. Obviously we're not close to my father either, the kids, but just like this is a trip because it's so like, wow,
something happens to my mom or my dad. When I find out and tell the other or it is my he tells the other what they thought, because now I'm going through it kind of like hmm, I never really thought about this day happening.
I never thought about this day coming. Uh. And it's like.
Because we're nottically super close, like I'm not crying or anything yet, like it's like it's hitting me in a way and that's kind of like wow, that sucks. And it's really like this is this is this is not. I'm not happy to hear this. And mainly for my daughter and her brother, I got sneeze a girl, and for the grandkids, no matter what their intereshaip is with her or not, it's gonna be a loss. One less person here and in the grandparent pool in my generation
is getting smaller and smaller. And watching my daughter have the same questions I had with my mother and stepdad, it's just like you're just like I try. I said, you know, you're a private club now that I wish you weren't, And I'm private club I wish I wasn't.
And so now and we're talk about. We're talking, She's like, my mom was there for her mom's like, my mom was there for my grandma Mitzi and didn't make them you know why didn't they by it just goes, well, wait a minute, my mom may go, I'm not rushing to take care of stuff either.
Like it's just it's a natural instant.
You're thinking, well, you're seeing stuff happening to the parent, then you can just shit together to you And I'm like, I'm trying to get my shit together. I haven't done it fully. I'm trying. I mean, I am of that age and I'm like, I ainything could happen. I'm trying to pull together. But I'm like, it's a lot.
It's a lot.
It's a lot, And the loss is one thing I always say, if the loss is one day, it's more than the loss. It's the leading up to the loss, it's the aftermath of the loss.
Those are the things to me, that's what it is.
The loss is the moment thing that happens, but it's the all the stuff before that, trying to handle everything.
It's it's it's a lot. It's a lot of.
Kids that parts a lot. Like so right now, I'm completely overwhelmed. Completely, I'm completely overwhelmed. I'm looking at my my room, my house, my office, and I'm completely overwhelmed. I'm gonna do a show called A Lot of Help James, and I wanna talk about how I handle that on that show. But it's for you guys here listening to this. Those overwhelming and you just do not know what it's like until you're in it. And so I was very we're talking to her, I was very careful. I give
a lot of advice. I just listen. I can ask her how she's doing. She's not really telling me how she's doing. She's right out the stage. She's at that stage I'm trying to figure anything out. And I understand, Oh, I totally understand. So I'm gonna give her a grace and time to work that out because I understand right now you're in the middle of it, try to figure it out.
I get it. I not. I get it now.
So that's almost a beautiful part of me going through it myself first, because now I can respond ways I wish people respond to me.
And the lesson that's when you get older, you can start to try to learn something.
Oh, Yeah, I'm gonna do it the way they're do it for me and not the way people think they are helping. I know, it's just it's a lot of kids. So we'll ended here. I'm sure I have more to talk about. You guys at home who are going through this to you know, it's like it's not fun and but it's evily a part of life that we're gonna have to all deal with.
And it's fifty plus.
I'm James, watching your j LJ Media Tuesdays a new episodes. Talk to you next time.