Do U Have a Best Friend

answer anymore. It's an interesting realization. People I thought my best friends, I don't think they are at this point. Because definition of a best friend is someone you talk to you all the time, someone who looks out for you, someone you look out for you. May not do things together all the time, but you do get together. They put you first. Sometimes you put them first. Sometimes like I have a couple I have, well these days, I have a couple of friends. I might, I could say possibly.

I don't know if I'm their best friends. I'm not gonnaynybody's names on here, because well, you're attacking people to protect the innocent, of course, but it too people to come to mind in my life that I would say do that on a regular basis. Here in LA and I could possibly say they're my best friends, but I don't think they would use that. Well, there's well, there's one person. I think we actually let me take that,

let me take that back. I think we have used the word best friend for each other finally the last couple of years. Yeah, I think I've used other words, but I think we actually have. We don't say it all the time, but I think we have. So Okay, So I guess, Okay, So there's maybe there's one person and either way, I definitely feel it with this person, regardless if I'm his best friend or not. I do feel this person. And then then I have a couple

of them. Back to the other couple of friends I have that we're very close, and I would think it's close. I don't know if I'm their best friends. I don't know that. I don't know. I know I'm in their circle of close friends. Because the answer the a story. Yeah, you can have close friends who aren't best friends. I have a friend, I have several friends I've known for years, and I'm realizing they're just good friends, longtime friends, and

maybe possibly close friends. But that's like they're like you've made them family, So they're family. They're in there. They're like family memories. You don't talk to all the time either, but you like, you know, you love them and and and care about them or anything happen or you see them, it's good. So I think I'm getting I'm getting more of those and I have people. I think I'm moving into that category. There are you know, everyone is changing

as we get older. And I'm noticing at this age group over fifty fifty plus, my people my life were in their fifties, sixties, and seventies. There's some mind stuff going. Some of it is involuntary, some of it there's some stuff growing in your brain and other stuff is you really start to see life just so differently than you did when you were younger or even middle aged, and that informs how you act towards people. Also your life.

But maybe you're freer now, you have more time, and so you get either you get interests, but you get so in just yourself, or you're out there all the time but spreading around so you know, you know, you know, connect with one or two people like you used to anymore. I do agree that your your circles to get smaller.

Some just some because they die literally or just people move on and go to other things, or situations pop up and they got to live somewhere else, so they move closer to their kids, grown kids and things like that. But I have one friend. I was thinking about this today and I was like, wait a minute. This person never puts me first, never comes actually to LA, and doesn't find time to see me anymore. Like literally saw my mother and I'm four miles away from her and

couldn't stop by to see me. Comes to town, let me know, lets me know. Sometimes it's and I and I. But when I go to her town, I always call and we usually get together when it's close to home. Went in her town, she's totally available for me, But when she comes to LA, she's never available for me anymore. And I'm actually gonna let myself be offended by that.

I've been not I've been trying to hold it in for so long because she's a nice person and I don't and I don't think it's malicious what she's doing, but it's like with I'm not holding her accountable though I've mentioned it to her, and it's always an excuse. So I'm like, so you still do it of a right. I have a right to be hurt. I mean, as I says I'm talking to you, I'm like, I'm not even deeply hurt. I'm not even like angry or upset. But but I'm like, I'm tired of just brushing it off.

It is offensive. Then I can do about it, and she's gonna do what she wants to do, and I'll keep calling her out on every time actually does it. But I guess, I mean, I eventually I'll let it go. I mean, it's gonna, it's gonna. I mean, I mean, I have been kind of letting you off and on, but it's just kind of like James, stop brushing it off. You do have fee, You're human, you have feelings. You know she's a nice person and maybe be trying to

do on purpose. You let her get away with it, though, and there's probably nothing you can do about though, but at least for yourself, acknowledge that kind of hurts and you feel that's rude, and they just move on to the next thing. And I know, So I learned all my friends. I lost a couple ex best friends because they dumped me when I came to La. So there's now where you're dumped. Then I have another person who's more like a brother, and I had to you know,

I'm realizing that he's changing and he's getting old. He's older than I am, ten years older than I am, and he's changing, and so it's like I gotta go along to change. But see, here's what's funny. So somebody else in my life we had a rocky couple of years, but then we're fine, and now we're fine again. They finally got settled where they are and we're actually we're actually really okay. So it's like I have another friend we had twelve years we didn't speak, go back together

and we're fine. So I know that people go through rough patches in their world and that can affect how they relate to you or not to you. And then they get through it somehow maybe and they come come out the other side they're like, Okay, I'm back, so I speak. I'm back, not saying you should brush down your feelings, but it's kind of like, well, I have to understand anybody. I've gone through some stuff that like completely was my whole world, so I'm sure I've done

to other people. See it's also a thing of where I have a couple people who have called me their best friend, and I don't the same way. I'm like, you're a good friend, or yeah, you're a friend, but I wouldn't say you're my best friend. You know, I don't know. I mean, it's just it's everything is. It's

like it's like a chessboard. Everything is we're arranging for you right now at this stage of my life, and they're and you know, I hate it, not like a deputy down around these shows, but these are just these are just the world. I just I'm very realistic the world we live in. It can be very strange in terms of communication and people and connection. And I'm learning

some real truths. I'm seeing it. And right in front of me, there are people who you give and give and give, and they literally just take it, take a take and don't really acknowledge you. There are people who who're just out there and they come around and they want to come around, and they give you what they can give you. And you're taught nowadays to like just meet them where they're at. That's the samest thing to do. And sometimes it's fine, and sometimes it isn't. I just

I don't. I but then I hear all these people talking about how they they want connections, they want they want friendships and relationships, and they feel lonely and but they're not doing anything. It's it's yeah, and it also could be the city I'm in. I always say I'm in La. So that's a whole shit show by itself. It was more close knit in Pittsburgh. It was more close knit in Sacramento. San Francisco was half close that half shit show. Indiana seems very close. So it's like

when I go to visit Chicago. She so, I don't know. It's it could be the city. I mean also, which affords this? This is an industry town. Everybody's trying to get ahead. So so I've never been naive. And I said, I knew that my circle of friends would diminish, they would go there, would get smaller and smaller. And well, my friends asked me, well, what did you know? You always told your birthday for a whole month, and so what are you doing. I'm like, this year nothing. I

have one person will take me out. I just have to figure that out with her, and I just actually make sure I back it out to myself to let her know and then but is it No one else has offered take me out? One one person took me out and treating me really well. He was great. The one who I think I think is my best friend or one of them, another person I kind of now he said, Oh, here's what's funny. So I used to be invited to a family member's family celebrations, but they

stopped inviting me. So I'm like, okay, I guess it's not invite anymore. They invited me, but it was like, you're invited because my family invited you. They want you there. So I'm like, okay, well do you want me there? Like it's kind of it was kind of weird. It's like, well, you're invited because they asked for me to be there. I'm like that's nice. I'm very flattered they had them So for them, I'm like, they're looking at they want me to come. I'm like, for you or do you

want me there? Like it was just kind of like I didn't ask that, but it was kind of like I'm just I'm just yeah, I am learning about people left and right. So look at you, look at your life, look at your relationships. Do you have a best friend. Do you have a group of girlfriends? Are they your best friends? A group of male friends? Are they your boys? Do you have that? Well, if you're younger, but if you're over fifty, I'm asking you specifically, do you have that?

Do you have no friends? You have one kind of friend? Like? Are friendship changing for you? I've been I've been really asking myself a lot of these questions for these things I'm getting. Like I said, they won't be Aubie downer, but I'm learning so many things that are just true. They're just people. It goes back to that active friendship versus passive friendship, like what do you have with people? And that's on you and them, not just me too? Like what am I giving out? And when am I not?

This is fifty plus. I'm James lot Junior. Catch you next time.