A friend of mine asked me yesterday, am I where I thought I'd be in my fifties? And that's and that's a street question, right. I know. I can say that I didn't think about my fifties when I was younger. I'll tell you that for a fact. When you're younger, I would to say, anybody think about their fifties. I remember in my twenties, I don't remember. Let's go back. I remember in my teens thinking about being an adult hitting eighteen, that that was the first mile marker. Eighteen.
There was twenty one, cause twenty one is kind of the last bastion of any kind of like restrictive stuff, Like, no, okay, I can from twenty one. There's more things I can do. Right then, they're like, okay, twenty five quarter life. Maybe when at twenty one and twenty, like thirty seems so far away. That was like thirty, I'm like, oh, that was something I was like, that was way in the future. Now,
I'll tell you forty. When I was say in my late twenty twenty thirties, forty was the next big monstar. I thought about it. I never thought about anything past forty. It just didn't because forty seemed like the marker of like, oh my goodness, you turn forty. That's your thing. You're forty, You're forty, And I was just like wow, I but I never yeah, I never never thought past that. So I couldn't tell you if I'm at where I thought i'd be even in my forties. I think about fefty
either that much. I didn't think about it. I wasn't like thinking about fifty. I was like, I'm my forties and I enjoyed my forties and I was going to through stuff and I was building things. I almost feel like fifty snuck up on me kind of that makes eighty sense. It was just like, oh, I'm now fifty, okay, Like like it was like, oh yeah, I'm hitting fifty. Oh okay. But I don't think I was thinking about any sort of anything past my I don't know my age.
I guess I don't know. Never thought anything about that. Can I hit fifty? I was like, oh, okay, I'm you know, I'm fifty. I actually didn't mind training fifty. I had some great stuff going on and a lot of my I had a lot of change happened in my late forties to early fifties, a lot of major change happened. That's when I got into this business actually, and that's why I decidely pushed my on my businesses
and Worklee Hartway. It was, it was a whole. It was just kind of like, oh, okay, it's so it's so different now, the fifties. Now, now I'm here. I don't know, I think, And that's a hard question, right, you guys at home are you thinking about I mean, I don't know if you thought, I think. For me, what I didn't think i'd be here yet was the caregiving. I didn't know what age it would start. My mother is relatively young compared to me, but she is older.
She's eighteen years older than me. So I thought, well, we kind of grew up together, so I figured we probably would age together. I didn't realize that at fifty four for me, at seventy three seventy two for her, it was gonna start. She had an older husband. For some reason, we didn't think about, like, well, what if he leaves Whenever something happens, I just didn't think about it. It was it's so funny. I'm like, I just didn't think about it. I know he's gonna live forever. But
I don't know what we were thinking. I was like, I was like, Wenna, can't live forever. But I don't know. I just didn't think about him going. And he went, and he went so fast a couple of years ago. So I was like, wow, this is really this is I mean, it's it changed our whole family, and so I just didn't expect that. I didn't. It's it's it's I've watched various family members and stuff go through stuff like this. I just didn't know what to be me. It's quick, but it's it's so. My life is great
in terms of my career. My business is growing extreme very well. I made a deal today, as we're talking a deal today, like it's good. I wish I was father along of course, right of course, long alone and hopefully that'll that'll happen. Personal life, I don't care for him because my life is just basically taking care of my family all the time, and I have no special person for myself. I you know, I always and I'm also fat. I was hoping. I remember, I remember I
lost weight the last time. I remember saying to myself, James, you do not want to gain that weight back, do what you can not to gain it. Back then, a pandemic came. That's what's so crazy. This pandemic out of nowhere came and that changed everything, and it does. It does feel like I literally just woke up and I'm fat and I have pre diabetes, and now I have all those of going on, and I'm like with that. I don't know how I thought I had under control
and apparently I didn't. And that's and it happens just and because it was such a weird time and because it's it's a time that we'll never have ever again again, I'm assuming like that again, hopefully never again. That for a lot of people were all going through that. And so I turned fifty in twenty nineteen, and then I turned fifty one into twenty twenty. It was during the pandemic, and I just remember I couldn't have a party, could
get together. It was all just that alone. Its social aspect of all that alone, which is kind of crazy, right, Well, it's crazy. So you have that going on, it kind of exkews anybody else who had their early fifties were not in a pandemic, you know, it's it's a different story. And you see, I have a hard time talk about it because I'm like, which is like, how do I talk? How do I what do I like? Because it was because I'm I'm in places I never thought I would be.
That's one thing for sure. I love where I live. I love the house I live in. I love the work that I'm doing. So those two things for sure. But in terms of I wish I saw my grandkids more, my kids when they just I just stuck with my mom. Wish my mother was doing better. I wish I had a partner, I will fully admit that I wish I had a partner, and I had love in my life, like like not I mean I have love, but like the I mean like romantic love of my life. So those things are not. So my life is I'd say
half and half. Y'all say half and half. So I don't know if I'm where I would have been, could have thought about it for them, But where I'm at is okay, right, It's okay, it's not it's not bad. Uh could be better.