Em: You know we shouldn't have had a situation like Malala where she was gunned Em: down for fighting for the rights of young girls to have an education, because Em: young girls should be able to live freely and have an education no matter where Em: they live, no matter their religion, the color of their skin, whatever. Young girls Em: should always have those fundamental basic human rights. Danny: Hi and welcome to Five Random Questions, the show where every question is an adventure.
Danny: I'm your host Danny Brown, and each week I'll be asking my guests five questions created Danny: by a random question generator. Danny: The guest has no idea what the questions are, and neither do I, Danny: which means this could go either way. Danny: So sit back, relax, and let's dive into this week's episode. Danny: Today's guest is Em, who's been a podcaster for over five years. Danny: She's also the creator, producer, and host of the film history podcast Verbal Diorama.
Danny: She's here to celebrate movie moviemaking in all its forms, and is similarly Danny: passionate about independent podcasting and supporting other indie podcasters and content creators. Danny: Putting her money where her mouth is, Em is one of the people behind the Independent Danny: Podcast Awards, which is now in its second year and recognises and supports Danny: these podcasters who are creating shows from their bedroom, in their spare time, on their own dime.
Danny: So Em, welcome to Five Random Questions. Em: Hi Danny, it's so lovely to be here, thank you for having me. Em: I'm a bit nervous about these these questions I'll be honest because I mean Em: I know a lot about film history but not so much about everything else so let's Em: see how we get on, but I'm really excited to be here thank you for having me.
Danny: No, you're welcome, and it's funny like normally as you Danny: just mentioned some of the guests I've had on have said the same Danny: thing, it's kind of weird because normally you come to a chat show Danny: like this or an interview podcast like this, and you're kind of pre-prepared Danny: about what the topics is going to be, and you know you're maybe talking about
Danny: a book, or your podcast, or anything like that. This is completely flipped that Danny: script, it is completely random so it's it's interesting to see where each conversation Danny: goes. It's all been very different so far, so I appreciate you putting yourself forward for this yeah.
Em: Do you know what I thought I thought it would be a lot of fun, because like you Em: say I've not done anything like this before and I mean, I've I've been interviewed Em: about the podcast before and obviously I've been on lots of other movie podcasts Em: mostly talking about The Mummy, I'll be honest. Em: So if there's any Mummy questions, I am down. Em: But yeah, I thought this would be a really interesting thing to do.
Em: And I love the idea for the podcast. I think it's a really interesting concept. Em: So and I've listened to a couple episodes and they were really, Em: really fun. So I'm thinking, I'm thinking this is going to be great. Danny: Now I'm looking forward to it. Unfortunately, I'm in Canada, Danny: so I can't enter into the Independent Podcast Awards. Danny: But speaking of those, how's it going? This is the second year, as I mentioned.
Danny: Obviously, it's a great initiative and the second year looks to be even bigger. Em: Yeah, I mean, it's pretty incredible, really. I think when you do anything like Em: that, you do worry, maybe, that maybe it's not going to be so well received in the second year. Em: But the feedback we got after that first event was really positive.
Em: There was obviously some constructive feedback that we could obviously work Em: on, you know, with regards to maybe switching some of the categories around and that sort of thing.
Em: And we've actually worked on that this year. we have a Em: panel um like a board of Em: independent podcasts and basically all of Em: the ideas for the independent podcast awards Em: are basically discussed in a board meeting with the Em: board being of independent podcasters like Em: british uh british independent podcasters uh Em: of all genres all types uh just Em: basically we get together every couple of months or Em: so and discuss changes like what
Em: are we you going to do and so a lot of the changes that we've put forward for this Em: year with regards to categories and stuff like that Em: that's all basically been discussed with other Em: independent podcasts so it's not just one or two people making decisions about Em: the you know the future of the independent podcast awards it's it's a group Em: of independent podcasts who are all coming together to discuss what's the best
Em: way forward um and we really like that approach just because it feels Em: like it feels like it was it's you know made by independent podcasts for independent Em: podcasts in that respect and.
Danny: I think that's what i like about this particular awards i mean obviously there's a Danny: lot of podcasts and award shows out there um some massive Danny: ones um some not quite as massive but generally there aren't a lot i don't think Danny: there's a many to be honest that are geared solely towards the indie podcaster Danny: and with indie podcasters being the driving force behind it so So it's great Danny: to see because you have the new podcasters who know how hard it is to make a
Danny: show and they're working to recognise others in that same boat. Danny: So I love the whole, you know, the whole initiative. And I know our so-called Danny: friend Mark Asquith, he's involved in it as well. Danny: So he speaks very highly of the organisation and the fun that goes on behind it. So kudos to that. Danny: And speaking of independent, we do have five independent questions, Danny: all independent from each other.
Danny: So I know your students are looking forward to this because you couldn't wait Danny: to get on and get these questions thrown at you that aren't to do with the mummy in 1997. Danny: So are we ready to have a look at the random generation and see what pops up? Em: Go for it. Danny: All right, let's bring this up here. Danny: Okay, just a small one to start the questions off there. Question number one. Danny: Do you think any kind of afterlife exists?
Em: Oof, okay, we're going in with the big guns first. Okay, do I think any kind of afterlife exists?
Em: I would like to think yes. I Em: would like to think that we have Em: a finite amount of time on this earth and Em: what we're whatever we do with that time on this earth is Em: whatever we do with that time on this earth i guess Em: i've always kind of been more kind Em: of spiritual than religious shall we say and i've always believed in spiritual Em: things not that necessarily i believe in ghosts um i don't know i've had some
Em: weird experiences in the past with regards to maybe feeling presences that Em: may or may not have been there, like when I was a kid and stuff. Em: And I don't know, I just always like to think, I like the idea of multiverses, Em: which I know is quite popular in pop culture right now. Em: But I like the idea of every decision that we make in life, you. Em: I like to call it the sliding doors effect, you either board the train, Em: or you don't board the train.
Em: And whatever happens when you board the train happens.
Em: But also, you didn't board the train and something else Em: happened because i think a lot of people think what if Em: in their life and i kind of think that Em: that maybe goes similarly into like Em: the idea of afterlife as well in that Em: once your soul is done here well then Em: there's a choice of where you go next maybe um and Em: maybe there are multiple versions of Em: existence that are beyond this version Em: of existence but we will never truly know about it because
Em: you have to leave this plane of existence to go Em: there you know um but i don't know Em: i i guess i've always liked to think that your Em: soul is so personal to you Em: i mean i suppose then you kind of go into well is reincarnation real but i like Em: to think you know as a person as as an entity as a being i am different to everyone Em: else on this earth and so my soul you know that that spark within me that makes me me,
Em: I think I'd feel quite sad if that never kind of had an opportunity to be elsewhere. Em: I would like to think that that would go somewhere else and, Em: you know, have a really cool life somewhere else. Em: So I guess fundamentally, I like to think yes, because our time on this earth is so fleeting.
Em: You know, if you think of the history of earth, We're mere specks in the general Em: kind of, you know, history of Earth and how long this planet's been around and Em: the creatures on this planet. Em: So really, humans are nothing. Em: But I like to think that maybe there's a place we go to once we are done here. Em: Because, you know what, you live 80, 90, maybe 100 years if you're lucky. Em: So, yeah, there must be somewhere else.
Danny: I'm hoping, and I say this in the kind, not the kindest way, that's the wrong word. Danny: I say it in some kind of way. I'm hoping I don't live to 100.
Danny: I i feel um just personally Danny: i feel that'd be a lot of you know you get Danny: tired of stuff but i mean that's just me an interesting point you Danny: you lifted you you raised there um where you're Danny: on about the the multiverse you know the multiple almost like Danny: the multiple personas of us that may be Danny: existing and experiencing different versions of Danny: the same moment and there's a well-known sort of Danny: like trope that every person on the
Danny: planet has got a doppelganger somewhere else on the Danny: planet do you think that might be tying to your your thinking around there's Danny: someone else that looks exactly like you that acts like you that speaks like Danny: you living a life somewhere on the other side of the world that's actually a Danny: second part of you like a spiritual part of you that's doing the opposite of Danny: what you're doing in your current form Em: I mean it could be i mean if you take the idea of the
Em: sliding doors theory uh which is a Em: great movie by the way everything always comes back to movies for me um Em: and you know the idea that you make a decision and that decision can basically Em: change the course of your entire life you know basically whether you decide Em: to board the train or whether you do manage to board the train or not and i've Em: had many experiences in my life Em: one of the things that I always come to because I Em: guess I'm a big believer in fate
Em: and that it ultimately you Em: always end up where you're supposed to end up but about 20 years ago I was in Em: quite a bad car accident and it was basically um a driver he he was driving Em: on the wrong side of the road and he hit me head on so there was nothing I could Em: do it was him that was at fault.
Em: But I can't remember who said it to me someone I think it Em: might have been my mum or something saying well you know if if Em: you'd have only left the house five minutes earlier or five minutes later Em: that wouldn't have been you you know they would have hit someone else and then Em: you kind of think well that's absolutely true you know if I'd have left five Em: minutes earlier or five minutes later that guy could have hit someone else or
Em: he may have ended up in a ditch somewhere and maybe be in another version of that, Em: I didn't get hit and I carried on my journey and I ended up wherever I ended Em: up and my life took a completely different path. Em: I feel like there is a high possibility that there are versions of ourselves Em: that are out there that maybe.
Em: Maybe I don't know I feel like I'm I feel like I'm talking rubbish now Em: but but maybe you Em: know from that event I don't know Em: I feel like I feel like that has to be you know like people talk about the um Em: the Mandela effect where things that you remember are not quite how you remember Em: them and people talk about like different dimensions and like in a different Em: dimension it's it is what Em: you think it is but it's like there are like these mirror
Em: dimensions and stuff like that like I mean I think it's all fascinating stuff Em: I don't think we'll ever truly prove it but I Em: think there are some fascinating ideas out there Em: with regards to different universes and Em: different you know different things that have Em: happened and it's like it like in Loki like Em: it causes like a split in in time Em: and you end up with all of these different like branches kind Em: of going off like with different versions of different people and
Em: I think it's it's wholly possible to say it's definitely possible to have a Em: doppelganger I've had people come up to me and say oh I saw you the other day Em: you were at so-and-so and I'm like no I wasn't and genuinely people have said Em: that to me and I don't think I've got like I don't think that there are many Em: people out there who probably do look a lot like me.
Em: But I I suppose I've never met anyone who looks like me so Em: apart from my sister maybe they saw or my sister but you Em: know it's just like weird really strange things and Em: you kind of like add them up in your mind and you're like do you know Em: what all of these strange things that happen to you when you Em: do have like spiritual like experiences when you're a kid and like I used I Em: used to think that I could see my recently deceased grandma on the end of my
Em: bed when I was a kid and maybe maybe I did I don't know but you do kind of I Em: think it's good to ask questions I think it's good to. Em: Not necessarily take the world at face value. I think it's good to have curiosity Em: and an open mind as to what could be out there. Em: And that goes for things like doppelgangers, that goes for things like multiple Em: universes. And I think it goes for things like the afterlife as well.
Em: We cannot prove definitively whether it is or it isn't. But I don't think there's Em: anything wrong with anyone who thinks that it does exist or thinks that it doesn't exist.
Em: Because fundamentally, we're never going to truly know it's it's Em: not a question that any of us on this on this mortal plane could ever answer Em: i don't think so it's all theoretical at the end of the day but i think it's Em: it's it's definitely interesting topic to talk about and i'm really glad this Em: is the first question actually because this is this is a fascinating question it.
Danny: Can either go up or down from here but yeah we need we need someone to come Danny: back from the afterlife and say hey it's It's pretty cool over here if you want Danny: to join us. Maybe not as early as that, but yeah. Em: That's the thing. I mean, there's the movie Ghost. I mean, he kind of comes Em: back from the afterlife, but he can only talk to Whoopi Goldberg. Em: So maybe we need to get Whoopi on the phone and maybe she'll be able to tell us.
Danny: Sounds good. And speaking of next lives, it's time for the next question and Danny: the life of the next question. Danny: That was a really poor segue there. I apologise, listeners. My bad.
Danny: So let's have a look. Now that we've got that little easy question out of the way, Danny: let's look at question number two okay Danny: interesting m and i i feel you've been a movie buffing and enjoying some of Danny: the culture around apocalypses maybe this is a really good question i feel question Danny: number two what product would you seriously stockpile if you found out they Danny: weren't going to sell it anymore okay
Em: So the first thing that springs to mind i expect most people if they're asked Em: this question, think about, you know, stuff that during COVID, Em: you know, when everyone was clamoring for toilet paper and stuff like that, Em: that would be a good answer. Em: But the first thing that popped into my mind, genuinely, and I think this tells Em: all of your listeners, the status of my life right now would probably be cat treats.
Em: Because my cat, Evie, she's named after the lead character in The Mummy, of course. Em: Evie, she's a beautiful cat and she's the loveliest thing, but she really loves Em: her treats and if they didn't do these treats anymore. Em: I don't know what I'd do. Literally, it's like, I feel like she would come for me in the night. Em: I wouldn't exist anymore if these treats didn't exist. Em: So if they said that they were stopping, these treats are called Licky Licks.
Em: They're like cat yogurt-y treats. They're in like a little yogurt sachet. Em: And she has a couple of them every day and she loves them. Em: And if I want her to do something like take a tablet, it's the only way she'll take a tablet.
Em: It if I want her to come in from outside pretty much the only way she'll come in from outside, Em: is if she has licky licks so I Em: don't know what I would do without licky licks so I'm literally I'm going to Em: be I'm going to beg here to the people who create licky licks I don't I can't Em: remember who it is I can't remember who the the company is but it's honestly Em: a lifesaver and I've been Em: out today to the shops to buy about four or five more boxes of the stuff because
Em: she goes through it like anything so that is what i would seriously stockpile Em: if i found out they weren't selling licky licks i would have to go out there Em: and buy as much of it as possible because, Em: seriously when that runs out her little kitty paws are going to be like embedded Em: yeah uh i will not survive the night so uh so yeah that that's the first thing Em: that came into my head so i feel like That's the most honest answer you're going to get.
Danny: I've got to give kudos to that name as well. I can imagine some of the fun that could maybe be had Danny: If your cat's outside, I don't know if Evie's an outdoor cat or not, Danny: but if Evie was out in the evening or something and you're shouting out in the Danny: middle of the night, Evie, come and get some licky licks. Danny: And the neighbours are thinking, what depravity is going on in that house? That's an amazing name.
Em: I mean, luckily, I think my neighbours question a lot of my choices anyway. Em: But usually, like she just knows it as treats or nice things. Em: So I'll say, Evie, do you want some nice things? and she'll know what nice things Em: are straight away so yeah it would be the licky licks and.
Danny: You mentioned it's a yogurt base and could you like replicate that or is it Danny: just you think it's just like one of these things that the manufacturer knows the secret ingredient Em: I mean there are other brands that Em: do something similar to licky licks but she Em: she's quite particular like she's Em: very particular with food she's a very strange cat in the Em: sense that she like a lot of cats enjoy Em: eating things like fresh chicken or prawns
Em: or tuna or anything like that but Evie refuses all Em: of those things she's the weirdest little cat she doesn't Em: even get high on catnip so she's genuinely the Em: strangest little cat but she loves these licky licks so Em: I'm just like right okay we'll we'll go with the licky licks could Em: i replicate it uh honestly i don't know Em: because i i expect there's a Em: lot of e numbers and stuff in it i don't know i
Em: haven't checked the ingredients but it's just yeah it's like a paste like a Em: yogurty paste made up of probably not real chicken not real salmon or any of Em: those things but yeah i think i think we're safe because i think i think they're Em: quite popular I think a lot of cats like it so it's.
Danny: Not going to go away soon I Em: Think I think we're safe but yeah if if covid part two happens touch wood it Em: never does but if it does everyone else is going to be going for toilet roll Em: and I'm going to be going for licky licks so so.
Danny: There you go listeners if you want a nice side hustle get out there and buy Danny: up all the licky licks right now and sell them on ebay directly to em big big Danny: profit to be made there yeah all right licky licks it is Let's have a look at question number Em: Three. Danny: Em, question three. What makes someone a hero? Em: Oh, wow. Okay. What makes someone a hero? Danny: Not buying all the Licky Licks. Em: No, yeah. Not hogging all the Licky Licks makes someone a hero.
Em: Again, this is a really interesting question because I've grown up pretty much Em: with superhero cinema and the definition Em: of a hero and what is a hero and what does it mean to be a hero?
Em: I grew up watching it was Em: actually X-Men the animated series um and I'm Em: very I'm a huge fan of of Em: the X-Men uh the X-Men and my people and the Em: X-Men have always kind of skirted around what makes someone a hero because you Em: have all of these different characters who come from different places and many Em: different things make them heroes or or not in in in different cases I always like.
Em: To think sort of stepping away from superheroes Em: because surprise surprise they're not real uh i Em: know it's terrible we all wish that like black Em: panther and captain america were real but um sadly they're Em: not but thinking of like real life Em: and real life heroes i always Em: kind of go whenever i think of like a hero Em: to me personally i go to someone like Em: um malala yusuf sai um she's Em: someone who i consider a hero just Em: because she was this young
Em: woman who was so incredibly brave standing up Em: to the taliban just for the rights for girls to learn uh and to be educated Em: and to read and sometimes i think you don't need to have you know super strength Em: and you don't need to have special abilities although it's very cool when they Em: you do have people who who have super strength and abilities.
Em: People who are you know fighting the Em: good fight for just basic human rights that's Em: like they shouldn't have to you know Em: we shouldn't have had a situation like Malala where she was gunned down for Em: fighting for the rights of young girls to have an education because young girls Em: should be able to live freely and have an education no matter where they live Em: no matter their religion the color of their skin whatever young girls should
Em: always have those fundamental basic human Em: rights but for her to kind of be Em: so viciously attacked you know Em: and and almost die for the for this Em: cause um and the fact that you know she's she's Em: such an inspirational person you know Em: and it's like even now she's still out there kind of Em: fighting for the rights of Em: these young girls these young women and obviously.
Em: It's something that i'm quite passionate about out being being a Em: woman you know women's rights are quite important to Em: me personally because you know i am one uh so if Em: it's important to all women it's important to me but i Em: think it's very easy to put people Em: on a pedestal and to maybe suggest Em: that maybe a specific actor or Em: something is a hero because of whatever they've Em: done or a musician or and i Em: feel like if that person is a hero to you then they're
Em: a hero you can't necessarily define a Em: hero because everyone's version of a hero is going to be different Em: i'm pretty certain that no one will disagree that malala Em: isn't a hero because i think everyone will agree that she Em: is maybe apart from the taliban but who cares what they think um Em: but i feel like Em: everyone has a definition inside themselves Em: as to what it means to be heroic or Em: what it means to you know to be Em: that hero and fundamentally I think it
Em: always comes from a place of kindness and it's so Em: much easier in this world to be mean Em: it's so much easier to be nasty it's so much easier Em: to have hatred it's a lot less Em: easy to be kind and I just Em: feel like at the the root source of any sort of heroism is always fundamentally. Em: Kindness and you know truth and honesty and all of that sort of stuff but fundamentally.
Em: I think it's kindness so I think anyone can be a hero if they show kindness, Em: and empathy uh or i would like to think so anyway do.
Danny: You think that maybe the um the word gets banded about Danny: a little bit too much now you mentioned obviously malala is a Danny: clear case of an obvious hero for what she's done it's Danny: selfless and it's for it's for others as opposed Danny: to herself obviously she's doing it Danny: for herself to make sure that others can get the education etc Danny: but then you look at c on the and i Danny: don't want to get into politics i that i want to keep that away from the show completely
Danny: but you look at in the u.s obviously they've just had the Danny: attempted assassination on the former Danny: president and he's been called a hero because he's got Danny: a bandage on his ear he's back on the campaign trail um and Danny: that may be you mentioned that about you know people's perceptions of heroism Danny: and what makes a hero is you know to the to each other but i feel that's two Danny: very wide aspects of the hero spectrum if you like so someone is doing a selfless
Danny: act and putting themselves in danger from a cultural and national point of view as As opposed to, Danny: you know, someone that maybe isn't quite as heroic because they're campaigning. Danny: I don't know. I had a point with that question. I probably just ran away and Danny: just rambled there, as is my one. Danny: But do you feel, I guess, does heroism as a word and aspect of life get thrown Danny: about a bit too easily now?
Em: Oh, absolutely. You know, I feel like, you know, just as an example, Em: you know, you get some shopping delivered by the supermarket.
Em: Market and and you know the guy carries it into Em: your kitchen and you'll say oh thanks you're such a hero you know it's just Em: sometimes it is a bit of a throwaway thing i mean i i would rather not comment Em: on the former president um just because of yeah but i i feel like the people who are, Em: within his within his group you know Em: within his community of course they're going to Em: think that he's a hero because that is their idea of
Em: a hero and I think that kind of fundamentally goes Em: back to what I tried to say earlier Em: was that I feel like everyone has their own idea of Em: what a hero is and sometimes you Em: can idolize people uh and Em: think that they are a hero um because that Em: that's what you think and in a Em: in many ways there's nothing wrong with that you know I know a Em: lot of Swifties for example think Taylor Swift is a hero and
Em: in many ways she is because I mean I love her music I think she's great but Em: you know would I put her in the same league as Malala probably not you know Em: it's arguable that Taylor Swift has done a lot for you know the economy with Em: her tours and you know I know she gives to a lot of charities and stuff like that. Em: So in many respects, she is a hero, but it's not really comparable, I think.
Em: And I think that's the point, is that what makes someone a hero is very different Em: depending on the circumstances that you're talking about. Em: That's not to say, it's not to discredit any sort of heroism. Em: You know, the firefighter who rescues a cat from a tree is still a hero. Em: But it's, again, it's not really comparable to the Malala levels of heroism Em: that we're talking about.
Em: Out so yeah i think it's it's a very flexible term and i think maybe we do band Em: it around a little bit too much but i don't necessarily think that's a bad thing Em: you know a word is just a word you know it's it's the the it's what's behind Em: that word that's excuse me more important than the word itself and.
Danny: I think to your point about the fireman and the cat if the cat's evie and all Danny: the little licks are gone i think that fireman is going to be pretty heroic Danny: to get up that tree so So, I mean, we can give it to the fireman. Danny: Alrighty, moving on. Let's have a look at question number four. Danny: What habits are holding you back from success? Em: Oof, okay. I would say there's a lot of self-doubt when it comes to the things that I do.
Em: And I feel like if I was a little bit more brave sometimes, maybe I would have Em: a little bit more success. I don't know. Em: It's really hard to, um, it's really hard to kind of quantify it. Em: And because you never know what's going to happen. You never know what's around the corner. Em: Like if you'd have asked me a few years ago, do you think you'd be involved Em: with YNOW doing the independent podcast awards? Em: I'd be like, no, no, that's not possible.
Em: So, you know, sometimes it is a little bit of dumb luck, I think, shall we say. Em: I sometimes have crippling self-doubt and it stops me from doing a lot. Em: It stops me from, I don't know, maybe applying for a job, for example, Em: because I will look at the requirements and like maybe I'll have like 75% of Em: the requirements or something and I'll just go, yeah, they're not going to say Em: yes. So there's no point, you know.
Em: Whereas I feel like if I had a bit more kind of self-confidence.
Em: I might just go, well I'll just apply and if Em: they say no they say no but at least I've given Em: it a go just that fear of rejection I Em: think is always there so I would Em: like to think I mean I would I would like to think that Em: I'm reasonably successful in the Em: field that I'm currently in just from the point Em: of view of not not really kind of monetarily successful or Em: you know popularity successful but sort Em: of in the the indie podcast community I like
Em: to think that I'm quite well liked and quite well respected um Em: and you know because I'm a nice person um and people Em: ask me to come on their podcast so uh you know Em: clearly clearly people do value me so but just Em: from like a sort of professional point of Em: view there is a lot of of me holding Em: myself back because I think I'm worried Em: about rejection and I'm worried that I'm not good enough Em: I'm not smart enough you know that that sort
Em: of thing and I do think that generally kind Em: of is holding me back from success in a way because I Em: feel like if I could take those steps then Em: maybe so many avenues would open up to me Em: but because I'm so worried of oh I don't quite I don't have this qualification Em: oh I don't quite have that that much experience that that they're the I'm I Em: don't meet the criteria and therefore if I don't meet the criteria 100% that. Em: There's no point me even trying.
Em: Um so yeah I think I think Em: I hold myself back quite a lot and it's Em: something that I'm getting better at but it's like taking a Em: while to get better at it because it's Em: it's always difficult when you you do get you know knocked back because I mean Em: I have been you know I've you know had like interviews for jobs that I've really Em: really wanted and gone oh yeah you know I'm I feel like I'm almost there with
Em: this and it's like it's not you know it's not for me at the end of the day and Em: And it's and it's disappointing, Em: you know, but I feel like my habit of putting myself down and me telling myself you're not good enough. Em: There are loads of people who are better than you. You know, Em: there's no way that they'll give you a chance. Kind of, you know, Em: that kind of goes around my head a lot. Em: And I think that definitely holds me back in many ways.
Em: The podcast is kind of its own beast. Em: So I feel fairly confident in what I'm doing with that.
Em: But even then like I feel like if Em: only I had a bit more time to do that that would Em: be that maybe that would be a bit more successful Em: but I'm very time limited on the podcast Em: so uh time is something that you Em: you can't really get it's very difficult Em: to get time but yeah definitely sort of from me in a kind of a personal professional Em: capacity I definitely think my my habits of my kind of self-deprecation and
Em: my self-confidence and my self-esteem definitely hold me back this is a very deep question.
Danny: Well it's interesting because you mentioned also that that becomes Danny: habitual i mean it starts off as a mental block or maybe Danny: an emotional block um but then because of that it Danny: turns into a habit almost you're almost expectant to Danny: you know not be successful for a job interview Danny: or or a date or anything like that Danny: you know we've had maybe struggles there and i'm curious Danny: is it an option so it becomes a
Danny: habit to not be successful with something but to Danny: counter that you mentioned obviously verbal diorama you know Danny: the way people perceive you and respect you Danny: do you make notes as an individual to get over there the parts that you aren't Danny: succeeding and becoming habits do you make notes of all the successes you are Danny: having to counter that so now you say okay you know what I am successful as
Danny: you mentioned with the podcast and your approach to the indie podcast Cast Awards, et cetera. Danny: And gradually that list will become bigger than the non-successful list and Danny: then then you've won basically Em: Do you know what i've never actually thought of doing that before so Em: i might give that a go and see if that helps Em: me get over my yeah because i think it Em: is it is it all stems from anxiety and me.
Em: My relationship with anxiety is very complicated Em: but anxiety fuels a Em: lot of what what I do um but it also fuels Em: it in a bad way because I have a tendency to overwork Em: and I have a tendency to over schedule myself and that Em: just does not help anyone so I Em: I'll definitely give that a go I'll write out Em: a list and I'll I'll see if that helps because Em: I feel like you have to fully acknowledge your Em: flaws in order to at least attempt to
Em: be better you know a better a human being because there Em: are no perfect human beings in the world not even Em: keanu reeves even though you know he's very almost he's pretty Em: perfect he's pretty perfect isn't he um but Em: you know i i feel like there Em: there's gonna always be an excuse Em: to hold you back and it's it is Em: just taking that leap of faith Em: that's uh that's a line from a great movie called spider-man
Em: into the spider-verse it's just a leap miles a leap of faith and that Em: scene just blows my mind all the time because it's beautiful but it's Em: true um sometimes you do have to take that leap of faith and it's you've just Em: got to get to that point where you're at the edge and you're ready to to do Em: it and it's for me it's getting to the edge you know it's it's that idea of Em: actually walking to the edge and and then taking the leap yeah all.
Danny: Righty well speaking of leap of faith we're almost at the end we just have that Danny: one more leap to take okay so you're ready for this final question yep Em: Let's do it let's. Danny: See what we got Danny: Interesting. I feel this maybe is a follow-on from the last one, Danny: but let's see. Okay. Question number five, Em. Danny: What is the most difficult challenge thus far in your life? Em: Wow. These questions are really super personal.
Danny: I told you this was going to be an easy episode.
Em: I feel like this is a therapy session. the most Em: difficult challenge okay so the most Em: difficult challenge actually ended up Em: bearing amazing fruit so the Em: most difficult challenge that I have been through personally in my Em: life because you know we've all been through difficult things but Em: the most difficult for me was uh going going Em: through a divorce and the stuff Em: that came before the divorce because let's just say my ex-husband did a bad
Em: thing and I found out about that from the person that he did the bad thing with Em: so uh so yeah it was going through all of that it was going through obviously the separation.
Em: During a time when my anxiety was basically Em: peaking off the scales as well but going Em: through all of that is basically how verbal diorama actually came to be because Em: I needed something to focus on that wasn't all of that because my brain was Em: so there was so much going on in my brain because anyone who's been through Em: relationship troubles relationship trauma trauma, separation,
Em: divorce, all of that sort of stuff, then you know it's a very kind of emotionally fragile time. Em: So you're very emotionally fragile. Em: You feel like your world has basically just crumbled around you and you have Em: no control over anything. Em: And that's basically how I found myself in that I felt like I had no control.
Em: Because obviously, he had been off Em: doing his own thing uh and Em: and um I Em: had no control like zero control over anything Em: uh and the idea to obviously um separate and to get divorced was fundamentally Em: his idea because he was done so I I feel like when you go through something Em: like that and you have zero control the The first thing that I wanted to do Em: was I wanted a semblance of control.
Em: And verbal diorama was that control. And so while it was probably the worst Em: thing that's ever happened to me in my life, and I would never wish it upon anyone in the world. Em: And I know people have gone through worse, and I'm not suggesting that it's the worst thing ever. Em: People have gone through worse. However, it's a very humbling experience to Em: go through, uh especially when you realize that the person who you thought that Em: they were is not that person.
Em: I will say that he going through the separation and the divorce, Em: like he genuinely was, you know, a great person. He wasn't awful about it. Em: He was as supportive as he could be to me during my depression and anxiety and Em: all of that sort of stuff. Em: And I give him thanks for that because he could have walked away and he didn't. Em: But verbal diorama basically came from all of that.
Em: So in many ways it's actually Em: a good thing it's actually you turn Em: a negative into a positive and it's and it's become Em: this uh this amazing thing that's Em: just this huge part of my life and had Em: i not gone all had i not gone through all of that then i wouldn't have all of Em: this and i wouldn't be here now talking to you danny because it was going through Em: that that kind of spurred all of of this to happen so while it was a pretty
Em: horrible thing to go through I always kind of say well, Em: look at what it gave me it kind of pushed Em: me into this this podcasting arena that Em: I dabbled in before this verbal diorama is not my first podcast rodeo I dabbled Em: in it before and I enjoyed it but I kind of struggled to keep it going and with Em: all of this and everything going on I was like no I'm I'm focused now because Em: once I'm hyper-focused, I am focused. Em: So it's hyper-focused. Yeah, let's get this done.
Em: Then my granddad died. So then it was like, oh, okay, now my granddad's passed away. Em: And it was basically a culmination of all of that, plus my granddad passing away. Em: I went to visit my granddad as he was lying in the funeral home. Em: And I said to my granddad, granddad, I'm going to do this podcast. And that's what I did. Em: Yeah it was it was pretty awful but i feel like i feel like something good came out of it in the end.
Danny: And it's it's almost like full circle we started Danny: this episode talking about spirituality and afterlife Danny: etc and the slight you mentioned a slide indoors Danny: effect and that's a perfect example of Danny: it there had that awful experience not happened Danny: all the good things you're experiencing now and all the you Danny: know the the cool stuff that you're doing now with your creative life as well
Danny: as your personal it would never or it may have happened but not to the level Danny: it is or not in a way it has so it's like you see we nobody likes to go through Danny: horrible examples of life but sometimes we have to go through that horrible Danny: stuff to really appreciate the good stuff that comes afterwards i feel Em: Absolutely no one knows what would have happened no one knows what's happened Em: to that other version of Em who's still married, maybe. No one knows.
Em: I hope that she is happy, but I mean, chances are he might have still done that. I don't know. Em: But that's his sliding doors thing, his choice. Em: And he took his choice. But fundamentally, I feel like I did okay out of it. So yeah. Em: It's like life hands you, what life hands you, you know, if life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Danny: Or tequila. Em: Or, yeah, or, you know, put them in an alcoholic beverage and get completely drunk.
Em: But I feel like we, like I said at the start, we have a finite amount of time on this earth. Em: I like to think that there is something beyond, but for the time that I am on Em: this earth, I want to be the best person that I can be. Em: Not necessarily a hero because I don't think I qualify but just be good and Em: kind and honest and have empathy for people and podcast because why not.
Danny: Why not indeed well um I've Danny: really enjoyed this chat and I appreciate you being so Danny: open and transparent with your your answers Danny: I know some of we got real into the weeds there so i Danny: appreciate that in fairness in every episode i do throw the gauntlet or the Danny: gavel the judge's gavel if you like over to my guest because i've put you on Danny: the spot for the last 30 40 minutes or so it's only fair that you get to do
Danny: that to me so am this is where you can throw your random question back at me okay Em: So this was the first question that came to mind so on verbal diorama uh i do Em: something called the obligatory kiani reference Now, Em: I've already mentioned Keanu Reeves because he is the best of men and I feel Em: like he always deserves at least one mention at all times. Em: But my question to you, Danny, what is the best movie starring Keanu Reeves?
Danny: Oh, man. I mean, I guess the obvious would be his big blockbusters, Danny: which is obviously, you know, The Matrix and all such.
Danny: Such um for me personally so i i love the john wick series um i don't think Danny: that's my favorite i love the john wick series um it's amazing but i think my Danny: favorite movie of his now is it best or favorite because they're two different things right let Em: I'll tell you what let's amend the question what's the best and what's your Em: favorite let's let's amend the question. Danny: So for the best, I'm going to go with Matrix 1. For the best for me, anyway.
Danny: It didn't, because Keanu Reeves, and I think he'll be one of the first to say Danny: he's not the most gifted of actors when it comes to, you know, Danny: the gravita, but he does his roles well. Danny: He knows what he's capable of, and he does his roles well. And I thought the Danny: Matrix was a perfect, you know, vehicle for him from an action point of view Danny: and from a whole, you know, character point of view.
Danny: Same with John Wick. I thought John Wick was amazing for Keanu Reeves. Danny: My favourite, though, is Point Break. Oh, good choice. Johnny Utah. Danny: Good choice. I just, I mean, when that came out, I believe I would be in my Danny: 20s, I think, when that came out. Danny: And it was just, there was something about it at that time when it came out Danny: and where I was in life at that time.
Danny: Johnny Utah, Patrick Swayze's character, the whole, you know, Danny: the bromance between these two, the scenery, the surfing, the whole, the heist. Danny: It was just perfection. And I watched the, there was a remake of Point Break Danny: recently, if I recall. And I watched that. Danny: It was okay, but it wasn't Point Break. Danny: So I'm going to go with, yeah, it's a split between The Matrix and John Wick Danny: for best, but favourite would be Point Break.
Em: I mean, they're all good choices, to be fair. uh I Em: would have accepted literally any any movie because Em: I I agree with you um a lot Em: of people say that he's a bad actor I don't think he is I Em: think he's a wise actor because I feel like he does choose his Em: roles very carefully and the only time he has kind of gone outside that is when Em: he was kind of earlier in his career and he was trying different things like
Em: he did a lot of Shakespeare and stuff like that because he loved Shakespeare Em: so you know he did Much Ado About Nothing which he's great in, Em: by the way, and really, really hot. Em: But, you know, and people often point to Dracula.
Em: Um as being the low point but it's an Em: outstanding movie it's a really good movie Em: and his performance doesn't take Em: anything away from the fact that's a great movie so I think Em: now he knows he knows what he can do Em: and the whole John Wick series I mean Em: they are incredible movies um I love Em: movies like that I feel like they are so stylish and Em: so well shot and the choreography is great Em: yeah and and he works to his strengths and
Em: you know good for him I say because and obviously Em: he's a very attractive man I mean I don't think Em: there's anyone on this on this Em: earthly plane that we're currently on maybe Em: in the spiritual planes as well who wouldn't who Em: would deny Keanu Reeves because he's good looking man and he's a good kind man Em: so I think many will look up to him as a hero row for his various charity work Em: and stuff that he's done in the past um just kind of linking it back to all
Em: the other questions there but yeah those are great choices and. Danny: Speaking of kind and known media em where can people find you and check out Danny: your podcast obviously and get to know the cool stuff that you do in the independent Danny: podcast awards if they want to be involved in that if they're in the uk for Danny: example where can everyone find you Em: Well so first of all i just wanted to So huge thank you for having me,
Em: Danny. It's been so much fun. A little bit deep, but a lot of fun. Em: And if anyone is interested in finding out more about Verbal Diorama, Em: then, well, you can find me on any podcast app that you found this podcast on. Em: Just search Verbal Diorama. Em: There's over 260 episodes now. And it is a film history podcast. Em: So I like to talk about the history and legacy of movies you know and movies you don't.
Em: And it's a lot of fun. I'm a huge movie nerd just generally, Em: but I love film history and I love the stories behind the scenes and I, Em: Yeah, every week. It's full on research every week. Em: So it takes me a long time to put these episodes together. But it's so much Em: fun to do. And I learn something every week. Em: So if I learn something every week, then I'm hoping that the people who listen Em: are learning something every week as well.
Em: Find me on podcast apps. My website is verbal diorama.com. Em: And I'm all over social media, at Verbal Diorama, whether that's Twitter, Em: Instagram, Facebook, Blue Sky, Letterboxd, whatever. Em: I'm all just always at Verbal Diorama. And people can feel free to get in touch Em: with me and talk to me about movies because that is the bread and butter. Em: And that's what I love to do. So yeah. And just on the Independent Podcast Awards, Em: submissions are closed for this year now.
Em: We're actually in the process of judging the submissions that we currently have.
Em: Have however I think the chances are Em: fairly good that we'll probably come back for a year three I can't Em: confirm that at this stage but I think I think we're probably Em: looking quite good but yeah we're going through judging at the minute and the Em: ceremony itself is in October so uh yeah fingers crossed for all of those uh Em: amazing podcasts and uh I think nominations I think are going to be Em: announced in september after judging so yeah i guess if you are a british or
Em: irish independent podcast and you're interested then keep an eye on social medias Em: and stuff like that and i'm sure it will be announced as soon as possible uh Em: if and when year three is taking place awesome. Danny: And i'll be sure to leave all these links in the show notes so whatever app Danny: you're listening on or if you're listening to this online on the website be Danny: sure to check the show notes afterwards and all the links will be there. Danny: So again, I appreciate you.
Em: Thank you, Danny. Danny: Thanks for listening to 5 Random Questions. If you enjoyed this week's episode, Danny: be sure to follow for free on the app you're currently listening on or online Danny: at 5randomquestions.com. Danny: And if you feel like leaving a review, well, that would make me happier than Danny: that time I was an extra on the movie set of Restless Natives, Danny: which was filmed in and around my home city of Edinburgh.
Danny: If you look super close when the two leads are on their motorbike being chased Danny: through Princess Street and see someone in the background waving her arms and Danny: sporting a big cheesy grin, that might be me. Danny: But seriously, if you did want to leave a review, you can do that at fiverandomquestions.com Danny: forward slash review. It would make my day. Danny: Until the next time, keep asking those questions. Music: Music