Pile of Madness

In this episode of 420 Reasons Why I Quit Drinking, I share awild and unforgettable story from my Ludington days. Running my family’srestaurant meant I rarely got a break—but one weekend, I finally made it toChicago for a girls’ night out with my high school friends. And when wepartied, we really partied—like there was no tomorrow.

After shutting downtheir go-to bar, Four Farthings, we moved the party to an apartment on LakeShore Drive. The drinks kept flowing, the smoke was thick, and the night turnedinto a haze of chaos. I was the first to pass out on the living room floor—partystill raging around me.

But what happenednext shocked everyone. At sunrise, instead of being greeted with coffee, I wasmet with a giant pile of nose candy and a line ready to go. Groggy and feelinglike hell, I looked up and said, "You wantme to join you? Well, F**K YEAH—here goes it!" And I dove straightinto the pile.

The room wentsilent. The girls screamed in horror and disbelief. They were pissed—andrightfully so. That moment just added fuel to the fire of shame andself-loathing I already felt. My brain felt like a pile of mush, I felt like apile of shit, and eventually, we all ended up sprawled out in piles on a frontlawn in the suburbs.

This episode isabout more than just a wild night—it’s about waking up, literally andspiritually, to what my life had become… and finally deciding it was time tochange.