On September 11, 2001, a gay man living with HIV made a decision that had nothing to do with self-preservation. He ran toward the World Trade Center and spent 24 hours in the pile. Neil Adams met Michael Dorian in New York in the early 1990s and their friendship lasted nearly 30 years. Now he has written the book Michael asked him to write. From the Pile is a debut biography that covers Michael's childhood in poverty, his HIV diagnosis at 16, his life built on compassion, and the choice he made ...
Jun 05, 2026•48 min•Ep. 344
You lived through it. You lost people. And somewhere along the way you decided HIV was somebody else's problem now. It is not. Andrew Spieldenner and Alex Garner from MPact Global Action join Rick for a conversation that does not let the queer community off the hook. MPact works across 60 countries supporting LGBTQ-led organizations fighting HIV stigma, funding cuts, and the political forces making all of it worse. This episode covers where the stigma still lives, why gay men over 50 are among t...
May 29, 2026•48 min•Ep. 383
Most men were handed a version of masculinity that had no room for grief, sensitivity, or showing up as anything other than hard. Gay men got that version and then got told their masculinity did not count anyway. Morgan Rich, coach, author, and creator of Threshold Coaching, spent decades learning the hard way that the world rewarding toughness was never actually rewarding strength. He and Rick get into what it means to reclaim healthy masculinity when you are a gay man over 40 who has been navi...
May 22, 2026•45 min•Ep. 382
Thirty years with the same man. Kids. A suburban life. A career built on celebrating the best in people. And a question that never fully goes away: am I gay enough? Randy Jones, speaker, author, podcaster, and self-described professional storyteller, has spent decades navigating the space between gay communities that questioned his credentials and straight communities that accepted him without conditions. He and Rick get honest about what it costs to feel like you never fully belong anywhere, wh...
May 15, 2026•44 min•Ep. 381
Nobody hands you a roadmap when your husband dies. Jeff Nally knows that firsthand. Sixteen months after losing Bob unexpectedly to a brain hemorrhage, the executive coach, professional speaker, and former president of the International Gay Coaches Alliance is still navigating what it means to be a gay widower in a community that does not talk about this nearly enough. He and Rick get brutally honest about the difference between being alone and being on your own, why grief has no engineering, ho...
May 08, 2026•35 min•Ep. 380
Most gay men know they are meant for something more than the corporate box they squeezed themselves into. Getting out is another story entirely. Joseph Federico, The Marketing Maven and founder of JFederico Marketing, walked away from a high-paying corporate career two years ago to build a business on his own terms and his own voice. In this episode, he and Rick get brutally honest about why gay men stall, self-sabotage, and underinvest in themselves when it matters most, what it actually costs ...
May 01, 2026•47 min•Ep. 379
Gay men are burning out in silence and calling it fine. Shaun Williams, therapist, late bloomer, and co-founder of Gay Fathers Worldwide, has spent years inside that silence and knows exactly what it is costing us. After coming out in 2019 following decades of living someone else's story, Shaun built Bent Couch Counselling and a global community of over 1,300 gay fathers because the existing resources were not built for men like him. He and Rick get brutally honest about the mental load of comin...
Apr 24, 2026•49 min•Ep. 378
Better looking gay men have it easier. More matches, more attention, more forgiveness in every room they walk into. Gay culture did not invent pretty privilege but it turned it into a full contact sport, and gay men over 40 have been taking the hits for decades. Today I go solo and deep on why gay culture amplifies appearance-based hierarchies beyond anything straight culture produces, what the better looking guy is actually carrying that nobody talks about, and why the real damage is not the pr...
Apr 17, 2026•29 min•Ep. 377
Aging hits different when you’re a gay man over 40. The body shifts. Friends disappear. Mortality stops being abstract. In this raw conversation, Ken Breniman, author, therapist, and leader of naked yoga for LGBTQ+ men, dives into death awareness, grief, body shame, loneliness, and why avoiding mortality keeps you negotiating your life. We talk orangutans in Borneo, naked yoga as radical body acceptance, and the courage it takes to face the truth about aging. If you’re over 40 and still pretendi...
Apr 10, 2026•45 min•Ep. 376
Most men spend years trying to fix their relationships by fixing the other person. Mike Elliott, LGBTQ+ ally, tried that too. It cost him his marriage. The Relational Leadership Mentor and Men's Initiation Guide rebuilt his entire life after divorce by doing the one thing men are trained to avoid: looking directly at themselves. Through a three-part framework of initiation, integration, and inspiration, Mike now guides men who are done sleepwalking through their relationships and ready to lead f...
Apr 03, 2026•51 min•Ep. 375
Gay men over 40 have been watching themselves disappear from screens, from conversations, and from their own community's narrative for decades. Rich Burns got fed up and built the antidote. The Humanitas Prize-winning creator and star of "The Disappointments" turned personal professional failure, romantic wreckage, and the specific ache of gay male invisibility into a series with over 4 million views and a global audience that stretches far beyond the LGBTQ+ community. Rich and Rick go deep on w...
Mar 27, 2026•39 min•Ep. 374
Many gay men over 40 are reinventing themselves after layoffs, burnout, or careers that no longer fit. Creativity becomes survival, not a hobby. In this candid conversation, Kit Roughhouse shares how a job loss, a Los Angeles gay bar, and a long-suppressed creative voice gave rise to his alter ego and career as a gay erotica writer. his episode explores why erotic storytelling matters, how gay men use fantasy to explore identity and confidence, and what it means to create meaningful work later i...
Mar 20, 2026•36 min•Ep. 373
Why do so many gay men spend their lives trying to belong, and still feel unsafe being themselves? This episode explores the deeper layers of belonging, authenticity, and self-trust through the lens of body-based wisdom. Devin Scott, a licensed social worker and body wisdom coach, shares his journey beyond traditional therapy into somatic practices, mindfulness, and Eastern philosophy. The conversation unpacks how high-performing gay men often learn to abandon themselves in order to fit in, and ...
Mar 13, 2026•50 min•Ep. 372
What happens when your body is permanently changed—and you still choose to show up fully alive? This episode features Dallas Oliver , a gay man and esophageal cancer survivor diagnosed at just 39. Dallas shares his journey through chemotherapy, radiation, major surgery, and life without an esophagus, along with the realities most people never talk about: intimacy, identity, food, energy, and grief. Out of that experience, he created a weekly LGBTQ cancer support group to offer the kind of space ...
Mar 06, 2026•43 min•Ep. 371
Prostate cancer rarely announces itself. For many men, especially gay men over 40, the first sign comes too late. PSA testing can catch prostate cancer early, yet most men avoid the conversation or assume no symptoms means no problem. World renowned urologist Dr. Arthur L. Burnett II breaks down what every man needs to know about prostate and urological health, PSA testing, and why waiting for symptoms is a dangerous mistake. The conversation tackles cultural shame, medical avoidance, and how ma...
Feb 27, 2026•41 min•Ep. 370
Many gay men over 40 struggle with eating disorders, addiction, and shame while appearing successful and in control. Bulimia, compulsive behaviors, and secrecy often go unnoticed until a breaking point like divorce forces the truth into the open. In this unfiltered conversation, Kyle shares his personal experience with bulimia, recovery, and rebuilding identity after divorce as a gay man over 40. This episode confronts body image, food control, sex addiction, and emotional isolation in the gay m...
Feb 20, 2026•36 min•Ep. 369
Negotiating love feels responsible until you realize it is costing you your self-respect. For many gay men over 40, relationships quietly turn into endurance tests disguised as commitment. You tolerate distance. You excuse confusion. You call chemistry connection and safety love. In this eve before Valnetines Day episode, Rick Clemons exposes the heated rivalry (with cheeky, but wise observations from the HBO Max series by the same name) playing out beneath your dating patterns. The fight betwee...
Feb 13, 2026•39 min•Ep. 368
Many gay men over 40 quietly panic when sex stops working the way it used to. Erections feel unpredictable. Anxiety creeps in. Porn, media, and aging myths make it worse. Men’s coach Shay Doran brings a grounded, no nonsense perspective to performance anxiety, erectile dysfunction, stress, medication side effects, and the emotional pressure gay men carry into the bedroom. This conversation reframes sexual performance as a whole life issue, not a broken body problem. When stress, self worth, and ...
Feb 06, 2026•46 min•Ep. 367
In this powerful midlife conversation, Ralph Brewer , author of Rebuild: The Complete Guide to Starting Over as a Man , unpacks the universal relationship challenges men face, gay or straight. From anxious attachment and dead bedrooms to boundaries, neurodivergence, and long-term monogamy, this episode reveals how male relationship patterns cross orientation lines. Ralph shares his journey from heterosexual marriage and divorce to becoming a leading voice in men’s relationship coaching, while Ri...
Jan 30, 2026•41 min•Ep. 366
In this bold and eye-opening episode, I sit down with male boudoir photographer Trey Fox to explore how intimate portraiture helps men reclaim confidence, reconnect with their bodies, and see themselves through a more empowered lens. Trey shares the artistry and psychology behind photographing men—from building trust and consent to creating a safe, shame-free environment for vulnerability and expression. During this episode we explore the misconceptions surrounding erotic photography, the emotio...
Jan 23, 2026•45 min•Ep. 365
In this episode, author Peter Leahy shares his powerful late-life coming out story towards true authenticity. In this episode we explore what it means to shed old personas, embrace your identity at any age, and rewrite the stories you once hid behind. From navigating professional masks to discovering emotional freedom through writing, Peter’s memoir Glowing Up Gay has resonated with thousands for its raw honesty and relatable truth. Whether you’re coming out later in life or reclaiming parts of ...
Jan 16, 2026•40 min•Ep. 364
In this powerful episode, David Osterman shares his journey from late-life self-discovery to addiction recovery that is nothing short of extraordinary. David opens up about coming out in his 40s, surviving meth addiction, rebuilding after a life-threatening fall, and finding purpose as a coach for gay men seeking confidence, clarity, and truth. Together, we dive into identity, resilience, executive-level marketing strategies, and the courage required to rebuild your life from the inside out. If ...
Jan 09, 2026•37 min•Ep. 363
Loneliness is one of the most unspoken struggles among gay men, especially as we age, get sober, or outgrow old social circles. In this powerful conversation, licensed therapist Chris Tompkins unpacks why so many gay men feel disconnected even when surrounded by people, apps, and nightlife. This episode explores how sobriety, shame, dating apps, and societal expectations quietly fuel isolation, and what it actually takes to build authentic connection. From the “wounded healer” journey to embraci...
Jan 02, 2026•41 min•Ep. 362
In this intriguing episode, Dr. Mark Broomfield, author of Black Queer Dance, Gay Men and the Politics of Passing for Almost Straight , explores the complex intersections of race, queerness, masculinity, and identity. It's a deep dive into the realities queer men of color face in dance, performance spaces, academia, and everyday life, including the pressure to “pass,” racial surveillance, and the politics of being “almost straight.” Mark and Rick share deeply personal stories that reveal how cul...
Dec 26, 2025•48 min•Ep. 361
In this powerful episode, LGBTQ+ historian and collector Adrian Cardwell shares how his project, Badge of Pride, is preserving 30 years of queer history to ensure our stories are never forgotten. From the AIDS crisis to modern-day equality movements, Adrian’s journey reminds us that visibility, unity, and storytelling are the backbone of our community’s strength. We explore what it means to protect queer archives, how personal stories shape collective progress, and why showing up—especially in p...
Dec 19, 2025•41 min•Ep. 360
In this soulful and unfiltered conversation, singer-songwriter Mike Maimone —a former accountant turned queer creative force—shares how love, loss, and midlife reinvention shaped his music and life. From finding love across an age gap with late partner Howard Bragman , to channeling grief into his upcoming album and book, Guess What, I Love You (out February) , Mike opens up about rediscovering purpose after heartbreak. Together, Rick and Mike dive into healing, queer resilience, and what it mea...
Dec 12, 2025•33 min•Ep. 359
What happens when fatherhood meets unapologetic pride? David Morgenstern, founder of GADDIES , is redefining what it means to be a gay dad through bold branding, community, and connection. From the evolution of GADDIES as a lifestyle brand for gay fathers to navigating visibility, partnerships, and authenticity, this episode explores how storytelling and representation can reshape culture. Discover how GADDIES built an inclusive space for dads who started their families in different ways—and why...
Dec 05, 2025•38 min•Ep. 358
What does it take to come out, really come out, when you’ve spent a lifetime hiding behind shame, success, and survival? In this episode of 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk , Rick Clemons sits down with author Dan Bolin, whose memoir The Courage to Be Courageous tells the story of coming out at 70, healing religious trauma, and learning to love himself as a beautiful gay man. It’s raw. It’s real. And it’s a reminder that no matter your age, it’s never too late to live free and authentic. 3 Key Takeawa...
Nov 28, 2025•38 min•Ep. 357
In this raw and heartfelt episode, New York designer, storyteller and former drag performer, John Patrick (JP) for a powerful conversation about growing older, wiser, and freer as gay men. Together, JP and Rick unpack decades of experience — from coming out in different eras to surviving the AIDS crisis, finding confidence through drag and other careers, to redefining what self-acceptance really looks like after 40. It’s not nostalgia. It’s truth-telling — about how far we’ve come, what still ne...
Nov 21, 2025•55 min•Ep. 356
In this powerful episode, Alabama native and political candidate Dakarai Larriett talks about what it really means to lead with authenticity in one of the toughest states to do it. From surviving a false arrest to running openly as a gay Black man, Dakarai’s story is a masterclass in courage, empathy, and conviction. In this episode we unpack the realities of running for office, reforming broken systems, and staying true to yourself when the odds are stacked high. What you will learn Authenticit...
Nov 14, 2025•39 min•Ep. 355
