Our patreon supporters have known about this book for a week already and are already sending in their dumb sentences! Join the fun at patreon.com/372pages Join us for our 18th book: Irene Iddlesleigh by Amanda Mckittrick Ros. That is, if the Red Cross doesn’t abduct Conor before then. For our first episode we’ll be reading through Chapter 9. The book can be downloaded for free here or bought on amazon here ....
**Please note that the giveaway mentioned in this ep has obviously already ended** Be the first to find out what our next book is! Support the podcast on Patreon and get early access to every ep and other fun stuff! patreon.com/372pages Reading a 563 Tyra Banks book just wasn’t enough. Listeners insisted we read and report back on her six pages of acknowledgments ! Many exotic locations are thanked, as are bodies of water, buildings, food items, museum stores, the occasional co-writer or agent; ...
Thanks to everyone who supports the podcast on our Patreon ! http://patreon.com/372pages O’Neil of course does not rise. But this is Modelland’s final episode. Per our stunt Mike did not read it so it’s all in the capable hands of Conor, who, for the first time gets to read a passage to the poor bedraggled “little girl”! Loose ends are sort of acknowledged, the body horror ramps up and despite no Real or Fanfic there are Dumb Sentences and some really good Stolen Mail. Patreon people, stay tuned...
Thanks to everyone who supports the podcast on Patreon ! Join them over at patreon.com/372pages Mike catches Conor up on the the plot, which involves a lot of filth, sores, blood, detached limbs, wounds and severed torsos. In other words, just another Tuesday at Modelland! As this is a Very Special Episode, we’d love your opinion on whether or not we should match it for the final episode of Modelland (we will of course return to form for the next book!)...
Thanks to everyone who supports the podcast on Patreon ! Get every episode early plus other fun stuff: patreon.com/372pages Our longest episode yet – making it, clearly, our best. We’ll check in on a loving father reading his beloved daughter a bed time story. Conor breaks out the Pocket Operators to recreate one of the BellaDonna’s songs. And a shocking admission from Mike and a HUGE announcement coming up! By coin toss Mike OR Conor will do the next reading SOLO! Next Assignment: Read through ...
Thank you to our Patreon supporters who keep the podcast going and have had access to this episode for a week already! Join them at patreon.com/372pages The underutilization of O’Neil is downright criminal: as though A Confederacy of Dunces just mentioned Ignatius J. Reilly and then moved on. Still, plenty of good stuff in the episode, including a detailed look at Bravo, some disturbing “hot for teacher” vibes from Chaste over the half-bald troll-man, and an amazingly over-long chapter in the Ma...
Support the podcast with a few bucks on Patreon . Get every episode early, Meet The Authors segments, interviews with Lauren and Bridget, contests, and more! patreon.com/372pages A testament to how weird this book has become: A “sloppy, love-filled reunion hug” is the most normal thing that happens in this episode’s reading. The Cronenbergian body-horror levels are off the charts but Conor and Mike comfort themselves with the euphonic Modelland Anthem, some Real or Fanfic and a nice dose of Dumb...
Please support the podcast on Patreon ! Get every episode early, access to our Discord, and other fun stuff! patreon.com/372pages Conor and Mike wade into the fever dream like madness that is Tyra Banks’ Modelland but not before Mike gets his comeuppance on an issue of pronunciation. And since no Dark Web recreators could possibly capture the insanity we’re left with lots of Sonic Challenges, tons of Dumb Sentences, top notch letters from listeners, and a pretty good turn from Mike in Real or Fa...
Join the 372 Patreon to get every episode early and other fun exclusive stuff! http://patreon.com/372pages Mike and Conor quickly discover that Tyra Banks’ only novel is Cr8Zee! (Cr8Zee is pronounced “crazeee” because the “t” sound at the end of “8” is silent and the two “ee”s at the end are pronounced like three “eee”s.) They soon discover parallels to authors Pappy Pariah, Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way, Dan Brown, Ernest Cline and others. All the departments are here: Conor borderline che...
A famous person wrote a book so it would be rude of us not to read and discuss this person’s work. Also: 100 episodes!!! First assignment: Read through chapter 6
By the first to find out what we’re reading next by joining the 372 Patreon ! Lots of other great exclusive posts and events as well! patreon.com/372pages Get the book here ! It’s with wet eyes that we bid farewell to the land of wrongly timed barbecue, snippy and/or flirty waitresses, violent drug-pushing teacher/furniture store managers, open bathrobes, four star generals, evil interstates and very occasionally, some quilting. In this episode, the shockingly violent yet cozy story of Bigelow C...
Join the fun in the 372 Patreon ! Last week we all relived Conor’s humiliating Jeopardy loss together. Plus every episode early, contests, and other bonus stuff! patreon.com/372pages Get the book here ! The number of characters continues to rise along with the body count, as the Quilters’ anti-drug battle (aka putting up a modest number of posters) rages on! Outside of blowing up the interstate off-ramp, is there any way to stop the menace of X-Bars?? Plus we’ll examine the tragic end of Cutler,...
Join us on Patreon to get every episode early and other fun stuff! patreon.com/372pages Get the book here ! Ah, the Clinian Cloud has lifted and the 372 Pages studio is cozy and smells of pork, sauerkraut, beef stew and cake – lots of cake! Conor dives to the dark web, Mike tries his hand at the brand new Real or Fanfic and there’s a surfeit of Dumb Sentences! Please share this podcast with any member of the McMillan family except Macy!! For next time read through Chapter 21...
Get the book here ! The task: announce book number sixteen. Forty-seven minutes later the job is done! Why? Because Conor and Mike are incredibly enthusiastic about the new title. I mean, one of our favorite “Real or FanFics” before we even crack the book open?! This is going to be great! Here’s a link to the book . For the first ep, we’re reading through Chapter 10
Learn the next book before anyone else! Join the fun on the 372 Patreon. Bonus eps, Meet the Authors, Discord, and more! patreon.com/372pages An epic podcast! Mike and Conor discuss the deep philosophical implications of Van Hagar, of avatars putting on haptic suits, of the personification of the collective intelligence of all humanity saying things like, “You’re not gonna win, doofus!” Cline was always in way over his head (from the second he thought to himself, “Hey, I should write a book”, of...
Join the fun on Patreon for bonus Real or Fanfic, improv with special guests, and surprisingly, earnest analysis of classical music! patreon.com/372pages If you had taken a second mortgage on your home and placed the entire sum on a Vegas bet that “nothing in this book could possibly be worse than the chapters spent on the John Hughes planet” I am sorry and I hope you can find another home. Because the chapters on the Prince and Silmarillion planets are not only worse, they are the worst things ...
Ernest Cline’s runaway best seller continues to disgust and annoy us, even as it approaches the home stretch. In this episode we wrap up the seemingly endless John Hughes quest by meeting an actual John Hughes NPC (not actually John Hughes). Then we’re off to Halcydonia, where we all try to pretend that Zoobilee Zoo wasn’t a terrifying TV show. Then it’s off to the Prince Planet, where our characters alternate between weeping about their abusive childhoods and trying to go hump things at virtual...
Support the podcast on Patreon and get access to early episodes, bonus materials, contests and more! Patreon.com/372pages Conor states with confidence that this episode contains a chapter that is the dumbest and therefore the greatest of any that has been covered by 372 Pages! The editor has taken her hand off the tiller and what we’re getting now is pure, uncut Cline. That means level-by-level coverage of a video game, stupid-by-stupid vignettes of classic 80s movies like Heat and Curly Sue and...
After countless pages of Worldbuilding and freeing child slaves when our hero felt like it, Ernest Cline finally lets some things happen in this section. The action kicks off when a Gunter and a Sharter listen to a Morissey song in silence and it doesn’t let up from there! By the time we’re done, there’s been a kidnapping, a shareholder’s meeting, and the rollout of a new firmware update. Also, Cline introduces his most annoying tic yet: telling us information again that he just told us. And by ...
Don’t miss out on participating in the read along! Join the 372 Patreon and get early access to episodes, as well as a BONUS Real or Fanfic we did this week! patreon.com/372pages So much to cover: Conor is shocked at Cline’s revelation that there may be a downside to the internet Conor is shocked at Cline’s revelation that gigantic media conglomerates may not have his best interest at heart Mike is delighted when Cline teaches him that social media allows people to share “memes, files, photos an...
Support the podcast on Patreon and get access to every episode early, plus a ton of exclusive bonus stuff! patreon.com/372pages Ready Player Two? Let me ask that again; Ready Player Two?! I don’t think you are!! But Conor and Mike are ready. Having only an evening to read the first few chapters, here are some questions addressed: Did you have “faint numbness” with your previous rig? Solved! Could you feel “tiny craters of pulp” beneath your fingers when you crushed an apple with previous rigs? S...
Yes, this may be the final episode of Midnight Sun but Alice has looked into the future and Mike and Conor are still reading it in every possibility but this one. We won’t spoil anything about the episode itself but stay tuned to the very end and help us (and 372 listener Josh who sent it in) solve the deep mystery of the shared / unshared lasagna in the greater Twilight universe… Join us for our next book, Ready Player Two! Our patreon supporters get access to the newest episodes before anyone ...
Phil hears from an assistant coach of the Sidewinders that there may be a backup shortstop position opening up! So Renee and he may drive back to Phoenix !!!!!!!! Also, the tireless and cunning James the Tracker is making plans to watch his collection of VHS tapes in a room with a gold chair rail once he lands his Piper Cub at Chandler Municipal Airport. Thanks to EVERYONE who supports the podcast on Patreon ! If you want first access to our upcoming coverage of READY PLAYER TWO, just $5 a month...
How em dash HOW em dash is this book not about Charlie hauling in a world record white perch, or at the very least the story of him getting a treble hook buried into his thigh? Why not page after page of Carlisle being tutored in Courtly Italian by some foppish vampire with a high starched collar?! Nope. What we get is page after impossibly long page of Bella slurping down Toastee-Os while Edward tortures himself wondering whether her using the big spoon means that she hates him. Join us on Patr...
Twilight but as told from the vampire’s point of view, continues to be a collection of words strung together in mostly coherent fashion, with occasional digressions to count thousands of insects. There you go, Little Brown, you can use that as a quote on the cover of the paperback. We hit the halfway mark during this episode and Mike and Conor found much to discuss. The role of Gordon Bombay in the Twilight-verse, the logic of taking the world’s biggest klutz hiking, and Mike Newton’s quest for ...
If you like Cline-ian pop culture lists you are in for a treat! In this episode Mike and Conor break down Bella’s likes / dislikes, turn-ons / turn-offs, preferences for types of flowers / er, preferring not to encounter other types of flowers, etc. Conor again dives to the dark web to widen our understanding of Edward’s movie tastes, while Mike takes out a very dangerous short term loan from Russian mobsters to hire the 372 Players. This free feed is one way to get the podcast, but the Patreon ...
Yes, we talk about things other than Lanny. But we don’t want to! You’ll all be thrilled to learn that Mike drained the budget to reunite the 372 Players, that Mike scores, um, pretty, pretty well on the Real or Fanfic challenge. There’s tons of Dumb Sentences and Conor dives to the dark web. But let’s not bury the lead here (no, not lede , let’s not go there) there’s a mid-episode mishap that is nothing short of spectacular [we included it at the end of an exhaustive ep. Hint, Mike is still cle...
So many words, so many of them “monster”! A jam-packed episode: Conor sails through several Sonic Challenges Mike, ahem, sails through Real or Fanfic Our listeners mail in and we steal it Believe it or not there are plenty of Dumb Sentences. There are GOFFS! (get it?) Special thanks to our patreon supporters! Get every episode early and other great bonus stuff not available anywhere else! patreon.com/372pages For next time read through Chapter 9: Hey, we gotta get through this people....
Let’s read another terrible book! But first, a story (By listener request!) about the time Mike inherited a house. It does not go well. This should be a fun one, let’s start by reading through Chapter 4!
Mike and Conor try to make sense of this madness. They come up empty. Still, there are highlights: Conor does a sonic challenge sexily. Mike manages not to follow a single plot point. The Dumb Sentences of the Week burst forth like milk and honey from the promised land. (Dumb despite the great work from Raven and Medusa!) PLUS This ep compares our author’s work to: James Joyce The Bible The Tempest David Foster Wallace Gone with the Wind Anthony Wiener Join us on Patreon for bonus eps, contests,...
