In between the General reading reports, Trucking Through Time manages to fit in some genuinely insane moments. Our heroes literally get to meet God, and it’s the second craziest thing that happens. (The first is our favorite moment in all of literature.) We’ll listen in on some surreptitious recordings made by Harris’ family, examine the GoodReads history of a guy who didn’t care for TTT and cares for cookbooks even less, and of course, will see if Mike can separate fanfic from real Harris text....
Aug 12, 2019•2 hr 17 min
It’s our 50th episode! And to celebrate, Trucking Through Time gets a little…. sexy! If you thought groins were stirring and tightening in the mister, just wait til you see the effect Light Feather has on Chad! (He’s not going to need his last name, if you know what we mean…) Our occasional department of Amazon review guessing returns to inspect the history of, until we started this month, the sole Amazon reviewer of TTT. We’ve also got another bit of what one listener called “Baroque Nonsense” ...
Jul 31, 2019•2 hr 1 min
Having trucked through time, our heroes Chad Hand and Dale Rhea (seriously) must now deal with the perils of life in the late 17th or early 18th century. This mainly involves taping things to sticks and feeding a young boy pork and beans. We’ll also get to meet approximately three dozen members of the Sioux tribe, some of whom manage to die before they’re even introduced. We’ll also meet members of the US army, introduced in an unconventional manner Harris employs known as “confusing the living ...
Jul 23, 2019•2 hr 4 min
Load your cooler up with knickknacks, good buddy, we’re in for a long haul! This is our first episode covering Charles E. Harris’ “Trucking Through Time” and if the first two chapters are any indication it’s going to be quite the journey! We’ll meet our heroes Chad and Dale, the comically mismatched duo who are more alike than many pairs of identical twins. They’re headed to the Bay Area, with nothing to keep them company but a vast library of truck stop books, plastic bags to pee in and toss ou...
Jul 15, 2019•2 hr 6 min
As we wrap up our deep dive into EL James’ “The Mister”, we have a lot of questions. Well, one question really: What the hell? But also: Why was absolutely nothing resolved? Why do Maxim and Alessia treat her father like his opinion should matter at all? How much were they paying that translator? Is that another half-finished hotel? Do automobiles actually qualify as a “fun theme”? Why is our hero thinking about his mother during sex? Tickety-boo???? We’ll address some of these questions, but we...
Jul 01, 2019•2 hr 12 min
This is now an all Bleriana, all the time podcast. Our favorite unseen character, who may or may not still be a sex slave when this book ends in fifty pages, makes another appearance, as Alessia finally recounts the story of her evil Betrothed and her journey to England. Despite her saying “I love you” dozens of times and being DTF no matter what recent trauma has happened, Maxim remains uncertain of their relationship’s standing. We examine the possible causes of this idiocy. We are approaching...
Jun 20, 2019•1 hr 54 min
Our second favorite trafficking victim does NOT show up in this section of The Mister, but other than that, it’s jam packed. Anesthesia, post-trauma boning, and approximately 3/4 of a page of honest to god drama and tension! Join us on Patreon ! Get every episode early plus other fun stuff like cooking shows! patreon.com/372pages Mike and Conor have been busy trying out recipes from the book, we’ll hear details about Conor’s Banoffee Pie and Mike will try some beef stew with prunes (Prunes?) liv...
Jun 13, 2019•2 hr 11 min
This episode is nearly two hours long, despite the fact that if you cut out all the sex from these five chapters, all our characters did was buy shoes and play chess. Oh, and they saw a deer. Our patreon supporters have been listening to this episode all weekend! Join the fun and get every episode early at patreon.com/372pages Anyway, there’s a ton of fun details to dive into. We’ve got a word count guessing game, an alternative ending for a book, a deleted scene that finds Maxim green with envy...
Jun 04, 2019•1 hr 57 min
WARNING: This section of The Mister may contain the dumbest sentence we’ve ever covered on this show. Join us in pastoral Cornwall, where Maxim and the entrancing Alessia, who’s beauty, we’re often reminded, is very beautiful, are hiding out from Albania sex traffickers. What do they do to pass the time? What any two attractive (Alessia is very attractive) young people would do: eat fish pies and get busy as hell. If you want to get our episodes before everyone else, join us on Patreon ! We real...
May 28, 2019•1 hr 54 min
In part two of our deep dive into The Mister, author EL James gives her audience exactly what they came for: Sex! Nobody actually having it, of course, but people are being trafficked for it in a cheap attempt to lend gravitas to a tawdry romance novel! We were so disgusted our groins barely stirred at all. This week we’ll get to meet Maxim’s bros and pay a visit to his family estates. We’ll crack a smile anytime we don’t see condoms, and finally get a good look at Alessia underneath that revolt...
May 21, 2019•1 hr 57 min
Who’s ready to get British and horny?? This is our first episode devoted to The Mister by EL James, and it’s obviously unlike anything we’ve read on here before. We’ll examine the author’s clever methods for padding out the book length, as well as some very surprising similarities to the works of Ernest Cline. We’ll also examine how a cartoon wolf might respond to the sight of someone polishing a piano in an alluring nylon housecoat. We’ll also check out the dark web and establish some powerful ...
May 14, 2019•1 hr 55 min
Time to start our seventh book together! This one promises to be quite the journey. Don’t want to ruin this surprise, so get listening! Oh and by the way, our Patreon supporters have been reading this book all weekend because they get every episode early! Lucky them…? If you want to join them, we really appreciate the support! patreon.com/372pages
May 06, 2019•31 min
We are back after a week in Nashville! While we were there, we figured that we would take advantage of the opportunity to record face to face. So we recorded a dynamic, hilarious, touching video rattling off some potential Next Book candidates (it was well shot too.) Unfortunately, Mike had a checked bag mishap with his camera on the flight home (the airline killed it, thinking it was a service dog) So we have reprised the chat over audio for folks to listen to! We’ll discuss six candidates for ...
Apr 25, 2019•28 min
Thank god this book was not 372 pages long. Neither of us could have handled that. Bob Honey was fortunately only 160, and even so, managed to have three different characters crap their pants, two of them in this final section. It’s a fitting metaphor for something, but we’ll be damned if we’re going to puzzle it out, we’re too busy enjoying our heated pool. Also enjoying their heated pool? Our Patreon supporters! If you hurry and join them, you can enter to win Mike & Conor’s copies of Bob ...
Apr 11, 2019•1 hr 42 min
Our favorite unreliable narrator who is also a toilet salesman/mallet assassin is back to bring his book into the homestretch! We’ve got brand new onomatopoeias, lipstick smeared on teeth, and of course, boatloads of alliteration. There’s also a literal boat, which our hero uses to abandon Hurricane Katrina relief effort volunteers to their death. (this is the “stuff” that he evidently “just do.”) There’s also got some fanfic which, though it may not be our most difficult batch yet, gives us a w...
Apr 04, 2019•1 hr 31 min
The enigma that is Bob Honey continues to baffle and frustrate us. From offering guests a drink that no human has ever consumed (and they accept??), to possessing a secret preternatural scuba diving activity, to being unable to comprehend basic figures of speech. Oh, and he’s a literal superhero we find out too! So that’s just delightful. Our dark web contacts come thru again with more reenactments, Mike tries a social experiment on his patient wife, and a challenging round of Real or Fanfic? If...
Mar 27, 2019•1 hr 47 min
Sean Penn certainly has written a collective of words arranged into sentences! There’s a lot to discuss in our first episode diving into Bob Honey Who Just Do Stuff. There’s the mysterious backstory Penn created for the book, the maddening alliteration, and the book’s strange ability to make you dislike stuff you previously thought you enjoyed. We’ll also play a round of “ Create your own Sean Penn character “, to show you how easy it is to make a character this eccentric. Plus, the roots of Pen...
Mar 19, 2019•1 hr 56 min
Well, here is the new book we all get to read together! We apologize for nothing!! And hey, a bunch of listeners requested this one, so if you want someone to blame we will name names! But in all seriousness, this should be very fun, and will be a welcome change of pace from the last book, (though a binder of carpet samples would be a welcome change of pace from the last book.) If you were a Patreon supporter, you could’ve been reading this four days ago! (Is that a good thing? Is this how entic...
Mar 11, 2019•38 min
All good things must come to an end. On a completely unrelated note, this book also must come to an end. And what an ending it is! After pages and pages of repeated text and detailed descriptions of the families of characters who are never mentioned again, we get some actual, honest to god plot development. And when it finally happens, it’s more ludicrous than we could have ever hoped. 372 Pages is made possible by our generous Patreons who get our episodes early, get stuff we don’t post anywher...
Feb 27, 2019•2 hr 13 min
Who is the Sheriff of 372 Pages? Sorry, just trying out our new catchphrase. Nobody better be laughing!! We have an absolutely jam packed episode this week, because despite maybe 40% of this week’s assigned reading being the same block of typo-ridden copy/paste text, there was a lot to talk about. Potential suspects! Power couples doing cool things! Multiple cases of treason, perpetrated without a second thought! There’s a lot of new characters introduced so make sure to have a copy of your 64-S...
Feb 19, 2019•2 hr 4 min
Assemble your various financial certification acronyms and have Veronica Jackson clear your schedule, because we’ve got a doozy of an episode! So much to unpack here in our first discussion of The Forensic Certified Public Accountant and the Cremated 64-SQUARES Financial Statements. We’ve got kidnapped mascots, hi-tech spy gear, and world record fast marriage proposals. If you’ve made any plans, blow them to rubbish and listen to this episode instead! This episode is made possible by our generou...
Feb 12, 2019•1 hr 42 min
Well, we’ve found a new book to read together, and it certainly appears to be something special. More in the vein of “Eye of Argon”, this is one that was never going to hit the best seller list. But based on early scans it seems like it will be a lot of fun to dive into. Or maybe it’ll be like The Ring and we’ll all be dead in seven days! Who knows! Looking forward to this new dive into a terrible book, please email your thoughts, reactions, fan-fic as soon as you get your hands on a copy!...
Feb 04, 2019•37 min
Well, the pace sure as hell was unrelenting, folks. We’ve reached the end of TekWar, and there both is and isn’t a lot to talk about. Chest-high walls, disdainful robot pimps, the brief and wondrous life of Sonny Hokori are all just the tip of the iceberg. Thanks to all who hitched their wagons to the Shatlart skytrain for this plasride! As announced in the episode, we’ll be taking a look at the TekWar TV movie soon as a Patreon exclusive , so stay tuned for that. Conor also has his eye on the n...
Jan 16, 2019•2 hr 18 min
If you’d told us way back in Episode 25 – Meetings About Sonny Hokori, if we’d still be having meetings about Sonny Hokori 150 pages later, we would have thrown the book across the room. And yet, here we are. We’re back after the holiday break (feeling kind of glum, guess we just miss Ogden Swires) with a thorough dive into the second to last section of TEKWAR. Time to question the wisdom of installing cyborg limbs that seem to be weaker than flesh ones, explore the oppressive censorship of the ...
Jan 08, 2019•1 hr 52 min
Chapter 22 of Tekwar may be the second stupidest chapter we’ve read on this podcast. The first, of course, being the one in Armada where The Emissary just, you know, cures cancer and every other disease. But this one is close. We will explain why in great detail. We’ll also FINALLY meet one of the characters the other characters have been talking about. We’ll get to bask in presence of the charismatic, bon vivant that is The Fat Globo. We’ll encounter racist android brothel owners. And we’ll see...
Dec 21, 2018•1 hr 40 min
Roll your cartoon wolf tongues back into your mouths, we’ve got a new episode! This week we finally get to meet the lusted after Beth Kittridge… Well, kind of… Mike also coins a new, revolting portmanteau for our favorite author duo: Shatlart, while Conor does his best to try to pronounce the name Ogden, which bafflingly is the name of more than one character in this stupid, stupid book. A huge thanks to our Patreon supporters, who get access to every episode early! Join them at patreon.com/372p...
Dec 11, 2018•1 hr 34 min
Look, we all love Sonny Hokori and Bennet Sands and Dr. Kittridge’s insanely hot daughter. We love to hear Jake discuss those people in quirky alleys with people we’ve never met and probably will never hear from again. But for the love of god, do we need FOUR CONSECUTIVE CHAPTERS of these meetings??? In this episode we’ve got some diabolical fan fic, confusion about what constitutes a cyborg, and we’ll finally hear from the man behind the ghostwriter himself. For next time, read thru episode 21!...
Dec 04, 2018•1 hr 44 min
To the inattentive and brainless layman* it might appear that not much happened during this stretch of TekWar. Mostly Jake aka Jonatha and Juanito aka The Android(???) just sat and talked to people about other people we haven’t met yet. Somehow, we discussed this for nearly two hours. Folks stepped up their fanfic this time around, probably due to the new conditioner they’re using that leaves their hair bouncing around at all times for some reason. We also sort out how Jake could be puzzled (twi...
Nov 20, 2018•1 hr 51 min
Steeple your chrome fingers against your chrome nose and tell maw to cork it, here’s our first Tekwar episode! We’ve got a ton to cover here: the difference between Airvans and Skycabs. Coppery racism. Oddly specific and ever increasing intervals of time. And printing, my god the printing! A hearty plasthanks to our Patreon supporters, who get early access to every episode and just last week, got to hear an alternate version of our Tekwar intro episode! If you’d like to join them, you can chip i...
Nov 12, 2018•1 hr 45 min
Let’s not delay this any longer: We’ve got a new book picked out to read together, and by all accounts it’s gonna be a doozy. So let’s say goodbye to Norgolia and move on to… Well, you’ll have to listen to find out! We didn’t know the assignment for MYSTERY BOOK REDACTED when we recorded, but now we do: read thru Chapter 7, that’s page 54 in our version. Please email us your thoughts on the new book, as well as any fanfic you might cook up in your twisted little brains. And if you care to, suppo...
Nov 02, 2018•25 min
