Ep #160 – Kaileb’s Dream – Ep 1: A Beef Stew Amuse Bouche

Well hey everyone. This is uh three hundred and seventy two pages. We'll never get back. I am Michael J. Nelson. I uh had a bit of a cold. I'm just gonna say that off the front so that you hear a little strain in my voice. Please forgive me. Uh yeah, you started off. You well well hey every this sounded like you're about to uh you know, the first episode after your nude ramp through the grocery store had been made public and you were sort of addressing the haters

Yeah, Jay Jay Leno was gonna Wha w what were you uh what were you thinking there? What wha what was going on with that uh Yeah. I don't have I don't make very good choices, Jay. No, it's uh Sorry, it's it's the cold. Blame the cold. Well we're gonna soldier on. Well yeah I mean if you've been taking Cold medicine th throughout the you know, your past seventy two hours or whatever, it might have, I don't know, had the reverse effect on this book of making it make purples perfect sense.

I I wish I had. I wish I had taken some sort of hallucinogen and reversed the uh the flipped the script on this book. This is Quite astonishing. Why don't you describe what we're up to here? Well, we you know, this is the podcast where we read bad books and this is a book that was recommended to us by a listener named Mark m month months, if not years ago. He he read this book. sort of recommended it and you know we'd I assumed he thought we'd never address it. But it is called Kyleb's Dream.

Kyle got in your head. Written by Kyleb or Caleb Varney. It is a self published book from I think twenty nineteen, but uh twenty eighteen. But you know, work he's been working on for a long time, putting his life philosophy and uh everything is that uh if there's a term for that of something you you scrawl in a cabin somewhere that you then unleash upon an unsuspecting populace, uh it's not coming to mind. However This is his novel uh and it is

Man, of all the books we've covered on here, as densely packed with madness I think as as anything we've ever covered. I I will just say off the bat, I have never not even close with dumb sentences of the Where I'm just like Bam, that one. That one. That where I've just like okay, I gotta stop. I gotta stop.

Let me see if I could find the uh the exact quote that a listener wrote in, uh because yeah, he said the exact same thing. I think it was from Oh, Harrison. He said, This is the most incoherent book

In three hundred seventy two history, which probably makes it the most incoherent book in history. Which I'm not gonna argue with, but You know how like You know, uh who's a filmmaker where, you know, you can just look at a frame and it's just, you know, densely packed with composition and and allusions, like, you know, Kubrick. or uh you know, Wes Anderson, we could just sort of analyze it, you know, or do you did you ever read Jack Handy's novel?

Um I never read his novel, no life. But you know, his it it's not the same art way, but it's densely packed with jokes, you know, where like he can just fill, you know, a sentence with a couple jokes and so everything is just has a potential for a laugh. That's this book but with madness.

Yeah. Yeah, I think that of uh I think Woodhouse said that. I try to make something about every sentence be at least a joke or be enjoyable and lead to another de you know, it's really dense. You have to go like, Oh wow, that's incredible. Uh this is yes, this is insane. And uh so w it really is something you should be reading along with. It you know. to not miss out on anything'cause we're not gonna be able to cover everything here. But it it it works on so many levels. The the punctuation

the grammar, but then the sudden surprises where he'll say something as if it's been there all along and you have to go back and be like, Wait, is this really the first mention of the the evil volcano? Like it's like oh he It is and he just you know brought it up fifteen thousand words into here as if it's been something we've all been aware of the entire time. There is a lot of that.

Uh but it uh it I I think it got off to a slightly slow start because I I didn't know you don't know what it's gonna be about. I mean someone's dream could be I went to the post office and saw my cousin who died, you know, like so that was weird. I'm not ruling that out. So this this one starts with um him just uh uh going to a party.

Although he does need to find a mistress, I guess. That's kinda weird. Yes. He's just about it's the first day of high school or like it's about to start tomorrow, I think. But he also knocks a letter from the council off of his desk and breaks a wax seal and that reminds him that he needs to find a mission. Yeah, I that was uh what I put as my first note is yeah, every time I the wax shatters around I remember, Oh that's right.

I gotta get a mistress. Bridget's like, What did you say out loud over there? Nothing, dear. Cleaning up the wax. Just sweeping the wax. And he also has this thought to him. He he breaks the wax and thinks, Oh, like mistress, right, we've all been there but uh he says, Um, I didn't play sports or anything So I knew that my weekend was free, even though it was Sunday.

So that's just another uh glimpse into his worldview where where sports are the only thing that can consume your weekend, so since he doesn't play them, he then realizes retroactively on Sunday that his weekend, which is halfway over, has been free. Uh he then uh this is the the beginning I think of the we're in for something with the punctuation. He says, I thought to myself as I picked up the bigger pieces of the wax now littering my floor. Period.

Yes. Oh, he's just observing that he is he is able to observe his own thoughts. Which I think he doesn't need to say that anymore. We know when you're conscious you are you can access your own thoughts. So I thought as I did this podcast I don't need to tell everyone that they assume that I'm Yeah, it's just it's it's a Dick Hart call back, you know. He he he thinks, you know, that he is. He exists and so just reminding himself. Okay. That's fair.

This is all s and uh this these are three sentences that are all in a row. He starts to walk to the door but then the phone rings, startling him. I started I darted to the phone, grabbing it up in a frenzy, and clicked the power button. But so this is the sort of uh state that he exists in where the phone rigging triggers a frenzy of of answering. And then the the unknown person on the other end who's sort of giving him grief about not having a girl. Got him. He's fifteen. Yes.

Uh but anyway, he uh he actually sounded surprised yet sarcastic. Here we go. It's happening already, he said sarcastically. So who does that remind? Oh man, absolutely more of this to come. It's amazing. Why is that the case? Why does it keep coming up? How are all these authors related?

But so what what did he say that's surprised or sarcastic? He's invited him to a a party that had been scheduled for this week. Uh he says uh This is it sort of sounded to me like an exchange between Tommy and Mark in the room, which is again not gonna be the first the last time that comes up. Uh party? He had forgotten about the party we had scheduled this week. You know, anyway, we're going to have food like burgers, hot dogs, sausages, and other things salads, cakes, all the usual stuff.

That is w we're we if we haven't already, we're gonna break the record for commas in his sentence in this'cause he throws them out. I saw someone remark that it sounds like, you know, Shatner's reading of Rocket Man. Yeah. Yeah. That just came up the other night and and Bridget said he was kidding, right? I'm like, No, he wasn't kidding. It was nineteen seventy three. Yeah, he did it once and assumed no one would ever think about it again. Yeah. I packed my bag.

Last night pre flight. Pre flight. Which he gets very really irritated when people uh do an impression of him and do that pause. He's like, I don't sound like that. But then the the uh actual uh surprise yet sarcastic is fr from his friend is Really? Okay, really? Man, that's a bummer. You need to really get a girl. This is the third party, and you've come along to everyone so far.

Uh but isn't that also Johnny? Maybe you should have a girl, Mark? Oh yes. Wow. Um and this was the first time I noted it, but I know it a lot is like Did a human write this? I mean presumably he did, right? It's a quick but like it wasn't run through the Alta Vista translator from nineteen ninety seven and then out again the other side. Yeah. Turned into Spanish and then back into English. I don't what is going on?

Nobody talks like this. Nobody talks like this and no one writes like this. But I don't think we can I I We gotta go with our we gotta go with what we know that this is a That it yeah, and he put it out there like the listener Mark sent in some things uh promotion he was doing on a you know uh self self publishing forum or something, and he he he writes this same way in that note. We can cover it.

It's you know it it doesn't make you think like oh like he's a he's a you know he's not writing it like, you know, teen text speak when he's talking on the forum. He writes, you know, with the commas and the misuse.

Okay. Um so then this is the the first hint. Till now I thought it was just sort of this is mundane or whatever. And then uh the sky was slightly cloudy, it was seventy degrees. It's good to know. I didn't drive, so I just flew. All right, I kind of pass over like I don't know what that means. Maybe a plaz car or something? Yeah, like we're we're getting ready for that. But then uh my first last

I never was a fan of crowds. Probably I suppose I should do that as anti exactly what I wrote, yep. I never was a fan of crowds, probably because it reminded me of the war in Egypt with Nubia. What? Oh and we're in We're in a new place. We've taken off. Wow. Turned the dial to m to insanity. Yeah, he goes to a party that has uh around thirty or forty people. Um but that's fine with him. This is not a big enough crowd

To remind him of the war in Egypt with Nubia. He's fine with this one. It's a a term I'd never heard. It was a light party, and then he goes on to tell you what that means. Meaning there were only this many. Okay. That's better than that. But No, but you know, for a uh they're still in middle school, high school hasn't started, that's a lot of people to get to. I guess they were going to Ragers up until then. And speaking of Ragers, uh the next sentence after Nubia is the smell of grill.

Beef, sausage, and other meats, a variety of eighties meats, of which were gently but lovingly glazed with the smoking barbecue sauce filled the air. And uh just in case you're they're disappointed, like, oh, he he sort of just talks about the meets and then moves on to the atmosphere of the party. Do not fear. The smell of of beets. Breakfast meats, breakfast in general will be a a a major theme of at least these first two chapters.

This guy never go to the grocery store when you're hungry. Never write your manifesto when you're hungry as well.

Grilled of which so the grilled meats. But then we get uh speaking of uh familiar the I mentioned sarcastic earlier, see if this rings a bell as well. Most of the girls here were about two years younger or one year older than I, so I was at an odd age. I mean I've never th when I enter a party I never go like, oh boy. That guy's older. That guy's younger. That's y older, younger. I'm a odd man out. I gotta go. Sorry everyone. You're at the exact average. You're at the most normal age here, sir.

But if you did walk into a room where most of the girls there were about two years younger or one year older, you would you would think that is kind of odd. That's that's that it is strange that this is the how this has broken. I guess since a lot of them were thirteen years old. Sure. That is a little Right. When you do go to a a party with your fellow freshman in high school, you probably are going to have a very similar amount of

Yes. And were the thirteen year olds grilling the meat gently but lovingly glazed? I don't remember the first time I manned the grill at a barbecue, but it wasn't when I was thirteen. Okay. Not a lot of responsibility for grilled meats and uh yeah, lovingly glazing things. Uh but how about this? This is also odd. The attendants were grouped together guys, girls, those who were dating, those who were sports fans.

and other interesting variations. So he's he's mentioned sports a couple of times here. It doesn't come up a lot after this, but is it like, you know, your your stereotypical bartender where he's, you know, asking people like, what can I get your sports fan, type of thing? Or is he just uh trying to point out that he doesn't know anything about sports? He's like the alien going, There were also sports fans there

Right. Yeah, is he saying that like as if these are weird people? Like what are the other interesting variations like there? And then there was the people with webbed feet and um you know, a whole group of people who had misspelled tattoos. We all flew there, so we're all the same that way. Over th there they were talking about how the holdovers was uh overrated, so that's all sorts of very i interesting grouping.

Uh well then we get to the first oddity, at least for me. This is physically I don't know what's going on. I was looking down, comma, at the blank tablet I had brought with me when she approached. Period. I was frozen no punctuation here. I was frozen, unable to comprehend anything. She continued to walk and then finally sat in front of me. What is it?

Is it like the dream thing? Is it w what's the paradox where you can never get to the end of the race? Oh right, yeah, the halfway there all the time. Or punching in a dream is always like so maybe she's like that, she can't quite and then finally she gets there. But he's looking at a tablet. Yeah. It's it's just hard to describe how how how does that work. I don't know. Yeah, and like Dream is gonna excuse a lot of things probably in his mind here, but uh you know, just you can if there's any

You couldn't excuse Antigua, you could say the same thing. Okay, that it was all a dream. That's why all this terrible stuff happened and none of it made sense. Like Uh it is also the first mention of the tablet he had brought and I think the only one as well. you know, electronic tablet. I don't know. But this is this is turning out this is this is the first girl who who approaches him and uh she says, My name

It's well, it's pretty long, so why don't you call me Hope? And uh it never expands on how long her name must be to uh need it to be shortened that much, or whether that's her real name or what. Uh well then here's here's why I didn't excuse him from all of his weirdnesses because he says it was the girl from my dream.

Okay. And I'm just I don't think often in my dreams I don't reference other dreams and go, you know, so this is not a dream, presumably. Yes. Yeah. He does he said something he had an introduction and he said this story is meant to be a fictional account. Of a continuous dream, one that regularly occurred. So uh whether it's continuous or regularly occurring seems to be they seem to be exclusive of each other. However, um maybe he wrote that part in a dream too, so we can

Um she yelled uh ecstatically is a thing I won't give you. I have lots of sonic challenges so I'll skip. Let's dole them out judiciously. I'm going to be uh uh uh here's I don't know what this means. This is in their exchange. It would be a pleasure, Signor, period. She said also remembering a dream, comma, same one that I don't know.

Any clue what that means? No uh'cause you know, he had asked her to dance, repeating just like in the dream, and then she said also remembering a dream, same one that I don't. One that I don't know. And the seor is a little colorful detail that we will address as it comes up. Yeah, it comes up later as a sort of meet cute thing, but it's not here. It's just like odd. What? Yeah,'cause he calls her miss and so I he's sort of like doing the malady thing and then she says senor, so I thought that

Not the case. Based on her food order. She was even more light and soft to the touch than Thus it felt good to have something tangible in my grasp. We're gonna keep an eye on the thuses. I did look up how many there are, uh in case you want to guess. The language does change quite a bit. This is all I find this sort of You know, poor, it's I I don't know what he's trying to do, it's just it's badly done. But then he reaches for something different as we go along. Uh and it gets That's a

And speaking of odd, he says, uh, what would you like what would you say to being with me, being with you like your girlfriend? Mm, that is exactly what I'm saying. Wow, that was a britt abrupt, she considers it for a minute, and then suddenly her face tightened, and then her arm came up, her fist balled up, and she landed a right hook across my face. So he has uh he has asked her to be his girlfriend after a dance and she's punched him in the face.

Uh but then she starts laughing. Um and uh he says, My God, what was that for exactly? Please clue me in with no commas in in any of that after All right, I'm just pointing out we have people saying things sarcastically, we have the specific ages of people mentioned, and we have sudden punching. What is going on here? Right. There is slapping later too, I think. There's slapping too, right? The Ellis' Dream. Um he uh

He does mention he has two sisters. He he he lightens the mood by saying that like they have terrible choices in in men um Whether that means the men are also punching his sisters is not addressed on. Um but then he says she just smiled, then examined the newly formed bruise on the left side of my face, smiling as she rubbed some kind of herbal medicine.

And that was where I was wondering, like, what is the rest of the light party doing as all this is happening?'Cause if I was at a light party in in middle school or high school and so a girl punched a guy right in the face, things would come to a screeching halt, I'm guessing. I'm trying to lightly barbecue this stuff over here. And I'm just turned thirteen. I don't appreciate seeing all this punching. It is interfering with my ability to lovably lovingly glaze the meat.

Sir I'll read this and then I'll tell you what my of course my inclination was, which I suppressed. She laughed for a long while at this statement and kept looking up at me. She did this for about two minutes. Then was fine again. Did you not go to the dark web? I was so tempting. Bridget, could you come down here and record something for me? It'll take um two minutes. Only two minutes. That's all you need to do for me.

Uh I think two minutes was how long that the uh the boy and the genie in Kazam sat in the alley uh in silence. Um I think we've had another specific two minute interval as well. But you also The what she laughed at for about two minutes was him saying Uh according to my parents' showing of love, period, in which my mom broke my dad's nose twice with a two by four. I guess that's how my family knows they found the right person by whether or not they hurt them or not.

Two minute laugh triggered by that sentence. I mean Breaking Had a story. Exactly. Breaking his dad's twice nose twice with a two by four is pretty funny if it's like a Tom and Jerry cartoon. But we had the frying pan right in the in the Ellis, the mouse, the cat in the frying pan or whatever. Yes.

Um and then she says, like you could pick me up later, she gives him a v a number. She lived at four fifty-five, about five minutes from Chillicothe, Ohio, which is where he lived. Which someone I didn't look it up. Did you look it up? No, it's uh I was just curious how the lag was gonna be. Um I think someone did mention it might have come up in Ready Player One, I'm not sure'cause he was in Columbus. Yeah. It's cl I think it's c it's close enough by to there to to have yet another Oh, boy.

Um so she he st high school starts. They go to high school. Um and he he he has a low bar for judging at how successful it is. I wasn't beat up or shoved in tight spaces. No stupid I found high school far easier than I had anticipated and I breezed through my colours.

Well, until lunch where I ran into hope again. So he's you know, he's gone to three classes. They've done like, All right, put this brown paper cover on your textbook so you don't screw it up uh the the book cover'cause you have to pay for it if you do and he's like, This is pretty easy But he doesn't know yet whether I mean it takes a while till you figure out who the weakest one is and then you

dissect a squid and you put it in his locker, you smear it all over his gym clothes. You don't do that like from the get go. Yeah, really. Yeah. So you give it a second, kid, you Uh but he sees hope. Uh and I won't point out the punctuation, just assume it's true. She had dressed according to my liking. Well that's good as a fifteen year old. She had on a long skirt and a baby blue blouse, accented by white buckled sandals, of which had an inch long heel.

Her hair she had put up into a ponytail and I loathe this choice, comma of hairstyle. I quickly asked her to take her hair down. I can't stand it when women have either short hair or have so oh wow, first of all, but how do you look at someone And go, Wow, they are dressed according to my ta what's going on with that hair? Like how do you scan someone from the feed up like buckles, sandals good, heels nice. Long skirt, good. Blouse is nice. What is going on there?

It's like when we uh in characters often in the movies we watch at we'll sort of you know, they'll they'll they'll look at a room in real time and pan from one end of it to the other and that's where they notice, you know, someone tied up or whatever. It's like it takes a long time to look at a room. It takes a long time to size up whether Hope is dressed according to his life.

Yeah, I guess it's uh uh speaking of another connection, a John Hughes movie. He did that a lot where someone pulls up in a pickup truck and you scan him from his filthy boots very slowly all the way up and spits chaw at the case. Uh yeah. But then this is he says he so Off putting. Off putting, uh, you know, w whatever this is, how he loathes it and demands that his girl he met yesterday change her hair according to his liking. However, he says I quickly asked her to take her hair down and then

Hey Hope, nice to see you again. I trust you slept well. So he's he's he's you know, sneered at her, he's said, Take your hair down and she does it, and then he backs up and says, Hey Hope, nice to see you again. I trust you slept well Let's just restart here now that your hair doesn't disgust me. Oh, if only she had punched him again, but she does not. Uh she is uh respectful of him and hopeful. And uh what is oh, she says this, um

She could see my hands shaking'cause he's like asking her out. She could see my hands shaking and could tell my words were irrational. I mean it was what he said was rational. He didn't come up and say horse potato Balloon time. He he asked her out. Yeah, or just you know, he he makes a a big logical fallacy and she's like oh you're quite irrational. Yeah, they are going to go to dinner that night.

Uh fifteen year olds. And speaking of you know, so that's you know, his his hands are shaking. He's demanded she take her thing down and he says, uh She says there is an admirable quality I have now found in you, Kyleb. Exactly what that is, I wonder. The fact that you ask girls out and you don't have other guys ask for you

And he says, Well I figure if I want to date them, I should be the one to ask. Otherwise they have the right to you, agreed. So just you know it's a uh you know Guys are like the whole like marching band is parading the red flags behind this lady at this point in time, being like Do not do not go on this date. But um They have the right to then agreed, and she says agreed.

It's like not what? No. The right to me. I think she does a lot of agreeing with this guy, uh, from this from this point on. Um she accedes to things remarkably quickly as the demands grow more and more unreasonable.

And this is where I've had my first laugh out mo loud moment. Uh I don't know what it was for you, but um We sat down at a table and talked more about general topics and of other droning topics. We then left for class. She had no classes with me at any point during the day, except lunch. So the end of which came all too quickly, was, comma, unpleasant to both, comma, her and I. The day continued slowly and dragged on to an annoying point.

There was one good thing about my powers, however, I learned how to stop time, so I was able to see her whenever I wanted to. Yeah. So he has he that's when the flying from earlier sort of was like, Oh my god he has a lot of things. Yes. Is it school or whatever? That was a message from the council. From the council, yes. About his training.

So most l n any normal person would be like, Oh, he's you know, he's Harry Potter, he's learning that he has these abilities but he has to harness some he's got powers already. Flight and time stopping. And uh as as you would expect when you have the ability to stop time I really had to try and not do this too often. Well sure, like you mess with the space time continuum. We all we've all seen the movies. One butterfly you kill it the whole world then is plunged into chaos.

Otherwise the eight hour school day would be twelve if I wasn't careful. So yeah, you've really gotta make sure that science class doesn't drag on too long. Otherwise you're really gonna be like tapping the watch and trying to move things along. I uh uh just to go back a little bit, this is what stopped me short before I got to his powers, was they talked about general topics and of other droning topics. And I was like, Oh Because he writes poorly, did they actually

Yeah, I got four K on mine and it's you know, it can fly and hover at two thousand feet. What's your drone like? Like, oh no, they're drone people. He does seem like he could be a drone guy. That would be Not surprising one. I quickly learned that wasn't that wasn't the case. He meant that general topics are droning topics.

Which it's pretty impressive when you're fifteen to already be sort of bored by like talking to a girl. Like so uh yeah, boy, what are you what are you gonna do? Am I right? Yeah. Yeah, I hear you buddy. Ten day uh forecast has snow on day nine, but you know you really can't. droning on with a a girl. Or maybe there's doing like they're doing some weird like, you know, they've got a a a a a chant like tone being like what do you have after lunch class? Oh Jim, what do you

Maybe we should stop doing this. It's kinda weird. We are sitting alone. Um So he does use his powers to uh occasionally stop time uh when uh she's playing basketball and someone's throwing a basketball at her head and then she stops time to like uh surprise her that the ball's about to hit her and then he you know he he he gets it uh in the way and moves it so it doesn't hit her. She says, Kyla but you have no idea how bad, comma I am going to beat you in about ten seconds.

Ha ha, that's funny, I laughed as I watched her reaction, but this was short lived. She she ran up to me and drawled her hand back really far and slapped me so hard it echoed through the entire gym. Also her hand print was now formed in red on my face. Yeah. What is going on with the slapping in our books? Of teenagers, always teenagers. Teenagers being slapped.

Okay, now I feel better. Don't do that again, she threatened, as she pressed her nose against mine. Okay, I answered. We stood like this for a while, then went home. I would like everyone to ask His or her significant other into the room, go nose to nose and see how long you can last. Yeah. Without someone going Wha what is this? In the middle of a crowded gymnasium full of other teenagers. Go to your local high school.

Make sure that there's a bunch of teenagers in it and stand nose to nose with your with your significant other and see see how long those teens tolerate that. Oh boy. Yeah, that is weird.

Um so then they uh so they arrange their dinner. Yes. Um and you know, fifteen year olds when they go to dinner, they they really They do it well. But he goes to uh her house this way. I think he gets ready. Yeah, white shirt. Uh tie, no this is a weird thing that he does. Grey it was, with a white shirt and a tie. No, the tie was too much, forget it. I don't like this with no punctuation. But here's the confusing thing. I jumped into the cool noon air. Mm-hmm. What? I d you know, I it's not

We know he stated the time. He agreed that they would pick her up at seven and he had they already had lunch. That they stood together after lunch for quite a while nose to nose. So even if it's you know a a late lunch, you know, the time has passed in. Did you understand that at all? Of course not. Okay. No, it would but And then the the lead, you know, you focused him on uh uh picking out a tie but it's too much. He does say, I don't drive, I fly and then when he's getting dressed, he says, Um

I I I tossed it aside, then put on my dress shoes and comma slicked my hair back. It was easier for me to fly this way without messing up my hair, plus it added to the whole aerodynamics thing. So maybe that's like what Boeing is doing and why doors are flying off planes. They're just they've got guys that are like, I don't know, put the handle there. That that fixes the whole aerodynamics thing. That's just good engineering.

Uh so he goes to the house. Uh she did not give him the wrong address, which he speculated. A fake yeah, a fake address. And he he calls her Miss, which I think is a weird thing to do to a Obviously married woman, but oh right. Because it says uh the door flung open and there within its confines stood her mother, which is my first settle down.

Someone answering a door. Oh yeah, here's here's the thing I had a question before that. I walked up to the door and knocked two or three times as if cued someone answered. What isn't that how the door thing works? As if cued. You you did cue them. You you knocked on the door. Yes, you set up a this is a thing we've all agreed upon and Stimulus response. Yes. Okay. And then here's here's where it gets exceptional.

Because uh there's just uh lines of dialogue, nothing specified. And then he doubles up, yes. So someone will say two lines in a row, but there's no way of knowing. Yes. Yes, exactly. It says uh he thank you for um she says take one of my cell phones. So is the mom's just got a ton of burner phones she lends out. Uh thank you for letting me. I will have my husband take you both to the restaurant. So the man in the four door car, he's your dad? He quickly said yes, but really it was fireball.

I used harsher expletives, but yes, that was my exact reaction. Fireball was mentioned in the introduction. Just if you if you're reading at home if you're reading at home. Uh if you're sorry, if you're not reading at home, this is no more clear to us than it was to you who are who has not read any words, but it said Fireball, Red Feather, White Feather, and Grey Torpedo are the four immortal members of the Council who keep the leaders honest.

and help maintain the principle of the council principles of the council intact. That is one mention of them in the introduction. They are not mentioned again since until now when Fireball is sitting in a four-door car in Hope's driveway, even though our hero flew there with his slick back hair.

Okay. Yes. Uh all right. I I confess I didn't read the introduction because it started out really boring and I was like, I don't need to know this, but that that's information I guess I should have known. No, it doesn't help. But here I would just go through it again. This is what we have to unpack. Uh she's saying I will have my husband take you, comma, both to the restaurant.

And then he says, So the man in the four door car, he's your dad? And I was just like, Wait, she just said husband, what are you talking about? And it took me forever to figure out He's doubling up her line stating that. Yes. But he doesn't m mention a car. It does seem like sometimes when I'm highlighting something to put a note on, I'll hit the wrong button and accidentally delete something and I'm like there could be a whole passage deleted in here because

One, for all we knew, there is no four door car'cause he flew. Two a husband talking the quotes did end. There was no quote to begin, I will have my husband take you both to the restaurant. It does however end and then the next line does start with a new quote, but it is all hurt. Yes. Hello hello Miss again. I'm hello Miss I'm comma Caleb's dad. I am pleased to meet you. Like wise They're I'm sorry. I've I've gotta pick those knits. It just bugs me.

The other thing we should mention is that uh if you are reading this on Kindle, which is the only way to read it, th I I believe this entire chapter chapter was written in bold. Yes, it is. I did I did change that in my documentary'cause it was too hard to read it, but It's just it's an interesting style like just stylistic choice in a book full of them. Yes. Um they get to uh so they go to what's the restaurant they go to? Uh Fireball drives them and then he takes off.

L let me just read fireball driving. Um'cause this is the this is just a paragraph of utter madness. The car we rode in was rental. Fireball had rented it just for the evening. It was one just like my parents with a different paint job. Instead of it being tan it was dark green. It still had that new car smell, and everything was clean. We both sat in back so as to not bother Fireball while he drove and just to be together.

Fireball usually drove about ten miles above the speed limit. So we were going seventy miles an hour in a sixty mile zone. We never had to worry about cops, because we had people inside. That was told in the founding document, so we could do whatever we needed to. Also, any expenses were covered by the council. The place we went to was just a little buffet style place. We decided to get the salad bar,'cause paying as much or more the cost for a single meal was pointless and wasteful.

So this is an all powerful council, they're covering all expenses, but he's being quite thrifty with the expenses, getting the salad bar in a place. And Fireball is a uh just renting cars, driving ten miles and over the speed limit. There's a lot to unpack. I think when we looked it up this guy was uh he's a married fellow, I believe he has children. Uhhuh. Uh brings his wife to a little buffet style salad bar and she's like, I think I'm gonna get the fish like

Honey Oh right, right. We don't we've split the cell above. Yes.

Uh he says and he points this out too, like uh you know, so he probably does this to his wife. Uh, should I get this? Like I paid for everything, he says. And this small, comma, woman of a waitress showed us to our table. How how'd you like to be described? Ladies, you like that, huh? Small, comma, woman of a waitress. It's a uh you know, he running running the uh the odds of a a third uh hand to face injury occurring to him by this point in time.

Uh and he has some sweet tea. And there's something I just realized rereading the opening that uh when the guy invited him to the party he said there won't be any alcohol here'cause I know you don't like that or something. Oh yeah. That's mentioned a few times his weird He he doesn't drink or something, I guess. Yeah. Very uh looking down upon And then we get the uh then the food thing. And this is uh uh random capitalization happens here, so just assume random capitalization.

We quickly stood up and went to get our food. The choice for me was meat, chicken, tuna, steak. So it's distinct from the meat. As is the chicken. And some rolls along with a salad. So this is at the salad bar. At the salad bar. So it's gen it's a generous definition though. I mean She got, comma, some, comma, chicken, comma, too, but also an enchilada, comma, and rice, along with some chips and salsa. I guess the Mexican had taken over the

Well I mean you'll later learn what it means. It she's uh as she addressed him as Signor earlier. Um he's just parceling out little little subtle details about her uh ethnicity, I believe, is what happens. But okay. Yeah. Mexican uh fourteen year old girls are just unable to resist themselves. They need to pile up the chips and salsa available at any given salad bar. Ha ha.

But I mean so you know that's that's a weird detail to sort of uh just infer upon people. Uh it goes from uh you know, a a three on that scale to a a seven hundred right here on the next sentence. I politely took both our plates. And started to walk back to our table. I had forgotten to mention my crippleness, I soon figured out. I had hold I had to hold the plate with my left hand, which meant that as I placed it against my chest and between my arms, not actually in my hand.

You didn't know I was disabled? I asked knowingly. No, not at all. You know I could have got that. Well it's not as bad as it looks, believe me. Well, I guess we are on the subject. I am crippled and legally blind. She looked really concerned now. I uh I just wrote as he said, I had forgot to mention my crippleness. I just wrote, Yes. Yes you had. You certainly had.

Crippleness, is that a if I Google that, is that gonna return any uh I guess it is I it no, th it just thinks that you're it thinks that you're misspelling cra So here's another thing that I guess slipped his slipped her mind. Well, you know I can stop time. Well I can do so much more. Maybe you can show me, yes? That's her reaction to you know. Do you remember that I can stop talk oh yeah, that thing that like shook my entire worldview and caused the

The upending of everything I believed about this continuum. Uh and as you recall I slapped you so hard that even now like your face is swollen on one side. That woman of a waiter can't stop staring at that handmarker. Yeah, I do I do recall that. Yes. Uh that is funny. Is this where he mentions her eating, um where she wants to do it slowly or is that later? Oh it must be later. Yeah, that's when they

Uh they uh eating carefully in between the conversation. Droning conversation? I'm not sure. It does sound droning'cause they're talking about color, what's your favorite color and stuff like that. This is after he told her he can stop. Oh sure. So now we're talking about what Yeah. Okay. Cool. Hey, what's your favorite caller? What do you think like, you know, i is going through her mind when she says he can stop time? What is so much more than

Like can he can he like go like this and point and then like Jupiter explodes out in the solar system? Like, yeah, I guess maybe snap your finger and all matter disappears or something. Sure, I guess yeah. Stopping time is pretty far up there.

Um well that he does have powers but he he neglects to really use them to protect her because they they they pay for the food, they they leave a tip which is always annoying at these buffets. like how much do I need to you know, all she really did was refill my tea. Um A stiff the woman of a waitress. Exactly. Like how and then like do you do

It feels cheap to do like five percent, ten percent, so you do the twenty, then you feel annoyed about sinful like I I got it all myself. Jeez. Yeah, it's a weird system. Uh but uh before you get to I know you Wanna get to the uh this the real highlight. But uh this was a uh minor thing. The air was cool and I could see that hope was getting comma chilly, so I gave her my jacket, comma, one of those big flannel ones. It was blue and in good condition, no holes or rips.

So he's he's got it listed on eBay. Good condition. No snags, holes, rips or stains. Non smoking household. Hope be careful with it'cause it is it's uh it's bid up to like twenty three dollars right now, eight ninety five shipping. So Right. So like what do you deem bad condition? Like you got it off a a hobo under a bridge where like this this flannel jacket has holes and rips in it. Anyway, then this I don't know what's happening.

He puts his flannel jacket on her sort of like a uh you know a meat cute um you know romantic comedy. Huddled in it. And and and Fireball is late. Fireball has left. He's like, I don't know, gone to the the strip club or something or the bowling alley. He's like, Yeah, I'm running late uh as an immortal being. I guess we can run late. Um but it says I gotta get the rental car back and pass. Yeah, real sick guys. Could you play on the frame for me, man?

Yeah, the Grandmaster really wants it back. Uh he's got a date. Oh man, White Eagle, he's such a hard ass. Uh she smiled and starting to walk my way when uh ellipses of seven periods. Her eyes widened and she started to scream. I instinctively reacted, I jumped and barely got to her in time to place myself between her and the two ton pickup.

That of which was tossed like a toy directly at her. She fainted before we hit the ground. I knew I had to get out or out of harm's way into a hospital. I heard the snapping of ribs below me and knew she had been barely injured due to the first of the impact. B badly injured due to the force of the impact. I forgot my sensibility at launched into the air

At about 6,000 miles per hour. I had flown so fast I made it to the nearest hospital, which was Adana, not far from where we were, in about 12 Uh presumably with her. He flew at six thousand miles per hour. Uh it peop uh people used to think going on a train would go would like rip the flesh off. They just didn't know. But I honestly think I don't know, going six thousand miles per hour Into the atmosphere? Yeah. Would that

Be good for a Would it let you w set you on fire? Like is that you know are you gonna I feel like there would be a lot of friction. There'd be maybe the oxygen wouldn't be able to enter your lungs. I don't know. Maybe we could have a physicist way in Oh well so you're breaking the sound barrier is seven hundred eighty six miles an hour.

Oh yeah, we've all seen you know, the the plane starts to fall apart once you go into par yeah, so she's you know, he's he's brought her there as a uh a bag of blood. Um and says like, Oh wow, those cracked ribs really uh you know, that was nothing compared to how she held up to a Mach nine. So they get to the hospital and this is where I'm like, why is he lying? I called her mother and told her the news. Okay, the news is someone threw a pick'em. She was hit by pick'em.

I said she had been attacked by a man who wanted to steal her purse and that I fought him off her. I said she had broken ribs because he hit her with his gun, comma and fists, comma multiple times before I could free her.

How is that what how is that helping? Right. Yeah. I don't understand what this what is this attempting to do. It's much so essentially what happened to her was the twilight parking lot where the guy's driving his car real fast through the parking lot and Edward comes up and stops. Which you know, a a a car almost hit a woman that's oh what a horrible accident. This is

Oh my our town is this unsafe? Like I can't you've you've had your fifteen year old take the car out for the first time. I'm sure you were worried every ev you know, every after he was gone. This is the worst case scenario. Like this is society, you know Society is has it out for my kid. I I'll never let her out of my sight again. Where were you? Where did you take her? What is going on? What hospital are you at? Hit her with his gun?

But no, it's uh he she luckily bought the phony story and thanked me for saving her daughter. I'm glad the phony story worked because believe me, it's very hard to explain to people how a straight two ton truck was thrown at their daughter. It's impossible. And we're gonna take the laughs where they come in this story'cause there are few and far between, but that is that that sort of made me laugh, like as a uh if you imagine Ferris Mueller talking to the camera and saying that.

Have you up soaping himself up in the shower? Have you ever had to explain a two ton truck? It's impossible. But... He didn't need to say that someone threw a truck. The lie could have been she was hit by a car. It's it's the worst thing ever. But yeah, she walked out into the street.

Why do you have to say she was pistol whipped by a a random robber? Uh the other detail that just is a uh tossed aside, um and you'll be forgiven for even missing it was uh um I had transformed into my battle suit in mid flight without even remarkable. Oh yes. Mov moving on. Uh no that's not mentioned again uh I believe for for the rest of this segment. So he has a battle suit he can transform into as he's flying at uh six thousand.

Maybe that's what prevents his skin from being peeled off his body or set on fire. Well it could also be this, which just came out in the middle of, you know, talking to her in the hospital. She became very pale and weak. Her voice was low and barely audible. Sedated, yes. I mean, even to my Panther ears I could barely hear her. What? Ha ha ha. Those are the things that are just coming out of nowhere. Wait, wait, wait. And that's as he's entered her dream, which is sort of uh he in seven.

Yeah. And I have Panther ears in a dream. He has Panther ears, but I believe the Panther ears are in real life. Um but he's mentioned for the first time in the dream, which makes it even all the more confused. Um uh and it says uh he saw a uh she's scared in her dream and he finds out it's because it's a demon and he kills the demon by he I shoved a spike from my chest into him connecting it.

I held him there and then slowly sliced his throat. The blood trickled down his chest, separated over the spike, then he was gone. Before he completely disappeared, he said one last thing. My name is Slayer. Now the demon had a name. This was good. So there's a demon named Slayer who's in her dream as well as his. He kills him in the dream, but he realizes, you know, she uh he's he's still out there. Which I I love that he did the um

the cartoon thing of like reappearing to Bugs Bunny, you know, like at the he falls off the thing but then like floats up enough to go I hate you, rabbit. He's like, My name is Slayer. Yeah. Right, Yosemite Sam comes up as it with the devil horns on and goes back into the ground. And so then he he he he leaves, he has to he he goes out of the to the hallway of the hospital, he's doing his like phone call or whatever. Um he he somehow co gets in contact with Grey Torpedo is one of the other four

Yeah, but I just want to point out this'cause there's a uh all of a sudden we get a burst of uh this is emergency room jargon and I just want you to hear the two nurses quickly ran in and checked her vitals. One said, Blood pressure, good medicine, good. So even ignoring the bad punctuation, do ER nurses or doctors run in and go blood pressure good, medicine good.

It's like is it one of that seems like something we've probably got bad medicine in trucking through time. So they're just making sure that it's not uh they haven't uh blue uh coyote or whatever hasn't given her bad medicine. Right. Uh but speaking of trucking through time uh character names, we have Grey Torpedo uh Yeah Grey Torpedo comes. And he says, Did you get all the information from all the databases and off the web?

I did, and I erased all witness knowledge of the accident. Everything has been taken care of massively. And so this is where it just it r it is revealed that our character Um what is his name? Do we know? Mr. Bow. Master Bow. Master White Bow. He is revealed as being Master White Bow. The fifteen year old freshman in high school.

first day of high school. It turns out he is the master already. He can fly. He has a battle suit. I don't know what the training's gonna involve. Maybe it's a you know, uh something that, you know, the state of California requires you to do once every two years, like there's sexual harassment training or something. Oh, I'm not sure. And and the characters are meted out in a very strange way here because all of a sudden we get His name was

We get the White Blades Council, we get DNA codes. Yes. Grandmaster White Boat. And then this is hilarious. I I want he calls her Do you need something, Master Whiteboat? Yes, I want Sylvia ball. Fireball's wife at my location. Selfie. Ball is fireballs. So yes, fireball has always been two words, and it turns out that's because it's a ball as his last name. And his wife took his last name. Sylvia, you know, Nay Reynolds or something is now Sylvia Ball.

So we have Hope, Grey Torpedo, Fireball, Sylvia Ball, Slayer the Demon, White Bow, Red Feather, and Star within Like ten lines. Like this all just happens immediately, right? Yes. Uh huh. Um yeah, it's amazing. I don't know. I don't know if Sylvia comes up again, but all these characters are introduced, you know, essentially for the first time. Yes. Uh uh Fireball is their son.

Or Fireball has a son. Oh yeah, Fireball Fireball has a son. Sorry, uh Fireball is Sylvia Ball's and Fireball's son. Um and I believe that is Wait, what? Oh yes, yes, yes. Slayer is the is Fireball's son, um and he says like Sylvia and Fire Sylvia and Fire, the balls, Mr. and Mrs. Ball, are priests. Yes. And their son is coming home from the institute where he studies to visit. He's on a demon winter break.

Oh right, got it. He's he the demon has taken over their son. Yes their son. What's his name? Um It's not Slayer Ball. It's Slayer has taken over their son. I don't know what's going on. Oh yeah. He says to Mrs. Ball. Well you know How old are you putting fire and Sylvia at What are you tagging there? I mean if he's posing as his dad. But I think it's later revealed that he's being master for a thousand years, so I have no idea how aged.

Yes. Um but he he yells at the doctor at this point'cause he's the like it's like a go team, right? It's this scene from the action movie where like I need thirty seconds. Okay, we got it. Then he says to the doctor The doctor's like we're going to keep you. He's like no, she's going with me tomorrow morning. Release her now, I said in a stern voice. Excuse me? You have no right to make such demands or accusations.

Wait, what? I I made demands. What did I add so did I accidentally Did you accuse me of of having bad medicine? I don't take my own drugs in the back room between shifts. How dare you, sir? I'm not uh you know inseminating the patients with my own uh sperm, that's what's crazy. I'm not knocking them out on the table and then doing things to them. How dare you You insult me, sir. Uh but he does uh take you know, he he does um

What did he say? Oh yeah, how dare you tell me that you have a son? Like it's like he he does get a little hoisted by on his own petard here because that's exactly what happens to him here as he then reveals his Wolverine like claws to the doctor. This is great. My claws now burst from my knuckles and I stood waiting for him to sign the papers. My patience with him was thinning. It's just like

I saved this girl, this young this freshman in high school. We've got all of her vitals. I saved her life. The medicine good. Good medicine good. But he does. He stands there with his claws out, watching the guy sign papers with his jaw hanging open, and then the doctor addresses him as she is all yours, Master Whitebow

And then he goes, Good, I don't know if he retracts his claws at this point in time, but he gives him a pill and the doctor says, It's a pill, what for? And he says, D no c no questions, give it to your wife when you got home and it says he made without question, made his way out to his small truck.

and drove home. I don't know if he has a window where he could watch the doctor walk out to his small truck and driving home or what. And then we're going to Which brings me to my first Sonic challenge for you. Oh wow nice What's the what's the pill? What's that all about? And he says it cures any form of cancer or infections. I said smugly. That is your challenge. Oh god. All right. Um well you set me up with it.

Uh where I d I don't have the uh What does the pill do exactly? Oh okay. What does the pill do exactly? It cursed any form of cancer or Yeah, but you don't have one, they're pretty expensive. Could you retract your clause while you say that? Right, sorry about that. It's really weird. I just sort of threatening. I would gotta start making these accusations against doctors and I just sort of.

the inner wolverine takes over. Oh my god, I put my battle suit on. I didn't even realize I that's embarrassing. I was addressing the doctor in my battle suit. My panther ears are laid back. I I I I look aggressive and I don't mean to, I'm sorry. And she says, What what's wrong with his wife? She has a brain tumor and stage three lung cancer. I held back the sadness apparent in my voice.

Did did did you did you hold it back or was it apparent in your voice? It's it's hard to Also y seconds ago were very smug. You are you are quicksilver in your emotions, which is Amazing. So the doctor is gonna drive home and give his wife a pill that a fifteen year old boy with claws out in a hospital gave and said to go home and do this.

I guess that's our answer to what's more impressive than stopping time is just, you know, having this medicine that you're holding back from humanity. That he had in his pocket, I guess. He went to school with it. He had it in his pocket at the uh salad bar. Wow, like and just to think like a scant four pages ago he was like sitting at a pretty lame freshman party with thirteen year olds. Yeah.

Panthere ears and battlesuits and flight six thousand miles an hour. It's quite a change. Right. And then he you know, he he did have the he he was willing to go to the party. I guess his weekend was free. He doesn't play sports. But Uh and then he takes them off. They fly uh six minutes. uh from the council to a three thousand acre tract of land, thus of which was mostly forest.

That's the first appearance of Thus of Witch. Thus of Witch. Do you want to guess the amount of thuss? I d put your over on Oh. Well I see one like in the same paragraph. Uh I'm gonna say Seventy-three. Ninety one. Wow. Um and he goes to his house, which he's had the council built. Which is a stone pyramid I had some Egyptians build for

And that's like, you know, Nubian war, I'm assuming. Right. They took a break. That's why they that's why it it drinks so you know, it's why it's such a uh hits so c close to home for'em. That's all those guys would talk about. And my first uh thought was like You know, Egyptians building pyramids. Are you gonna are you gonna pay these people? But uh he does he does emphasize upon completion I sent them back with gold and fire.

They were compensated. Uh the description of it is is sort of baffling. I I gloss over when things get this uh Like I don't really I don't know, it's a you live in a pyramid, I guess in the middle of nowhere. I thought you lived in a suburban house in whatever cholerics. The floors of the interior were in a checker pattern, marble, gold. Etcetera. The walls were marble as well and had gold crown mouldings at the top.

The house had the grand lobby as you walked in. To the left were four doors, the kitchen this is uppercase, the master chambers, guest chambers and recreational activities area, which does not so And then it goes on and on and on. It describes like how many baths and a formal dining room which seats about three thousand people. And then second person comes up too. Finally the stairway as you walk through the living room. Wow. Nice. It can't their authors can't help themselves.

Um the uh this it really reads like one of those um like uh Zillow houses that goes viral. That's like doesn't look like much on the inside, but where do you see how they decorated this thing inside and it's like, you know, they they tried to do their best like uh Like it looks like a Vegas uh Roman casino or something. But Well and then keep in mind his age and as for the stairway going to the upper levels

for that. I I was thinking of this level was one grand room as well. It was a ballroom. Dancing parties or just general odd occasions were held here. A separate door led to into the massive room. So What is a general odd occasion? Would that be one of those eyes wide shut parties or like what is Yeah, not a light party for sure. It's a massive room. Um I don't know. When you parties, are those odd? I don't know.

When you invite people that are less interesting than the sports uh fans at your part. That's what you do there. Ed, it's not lightly grilling meats in my odd occasion room, okay? That's down in the kitchen with a capital K. And I think one of the other rooms, uh the one in w the one in of which led to the basement went to the library. So there's a library basement. The entire low level or so I guess the whole library is a basement.

It's not thus of which was a library, holds a quarter of the books in the Library of Congress, or at best, enough books to fill a local library. He w w he does later emphasize that it is a quarter of the books in the Library of Congress, so he's not but he does give us the option here. I looked it up. The Library of Congress um holds over thirty nine million books in other words. So he does have he does have ten million books here in his pyramid.

And they just built that for him. So it's sitting there.

Have you y you've gone to I mean in Nashville there's the uh Parthenon, right? Uh yeah. I've I've never gone inside'cause I didn't want to pay. It's open now, but it's been for a while. Anyway, it's uh a replica of so it's like it's not something it's big it's the same size, I believe. So it's large. It's not something you miss as you're walking, you know, down. So there's a pyramid

In Ohio. Is that where he is? Is he still in Ohio? Nah, I think he's gone just to Mexico or South America. I believe so. He goes six minutes it doesn't say six minutes We went to his house which is six minutes from the council. Oh from the council. Oh yeah. Later on I think we do learn it it is

Yes. But there's a pyramid. Yeah. It's like the Bass Pro pyramid in Memphis. Did we not just have a pyramid in our last book? Yeah. That was also, you know, sort of hiding in plain sight despite all of it. Anyway, he lives at a pyramid. And and this is where you finally we finally get to it. Um who are you exactly? I am Master White Bow No punctuation, leader and protector of the White Blades Council.

Thus of which was founded over seven thousand years ago. I want a thus of which t-shirt. That's we gotta make it happen. And then she responds, Okay, so you're possessive, you're seven thousand years old then. No, I am fifteen, I will live for a thousand years. G can you get it together? This is Do I have to do I have to draw you a diagram? This is basic stuff here, ho.

And she says he's uh she then responds to that with Why do you need a mistress to conceive a son or something? This is something that happened in the li in the hospital. He was on the phone to white eagle or something. Alright, I think I've found the one. She is she she is mistress, just like I am Prince from the last book. He thinks he has found his mistress here. Um and he responds to that with that is optional.

The reason I need a mistress is because I can't heal myself. I need her blood to heal my wounds. I cannot receive blood transfusions from any human or demon, only the one which possesses the necklace of eternal light, in quotes next. And then uh so that's a lot to take in, but then she begins a s asking questions as though it were an FAQ for like a piece of software that you're using. So you're not a human?

I I am human, but only half, thus being master of the council, blah blah blah. Why do you choose human? Immortal will live forever. Yes, we've addressed this.

Uh the claws. What's up with the claws? Uh that would be my first question. Uh and your panther ears. What do your panther ears hear? Who threw a truck at me might come up. I don't know. But no, instead she's like, Why don't you why'd you choose that? What's uh what's the deal with that? Why is my mom texting me what kind of gun did he hit you with? Uh that's a weird question.'Cause no one hit me with a gun. Why does she think someone hit me with a gun?

Uh but however, uh y you'd think you know, she's asking questions, do you need me, fourteen or fifteen to conceive your son? Massive uh get me the hell out of here energy, but she says She looked up at me and spoke softly. Love drowned her voice. I accept I shall be Mistress White Eagle. I am most pleased. I was pleased, and my smile was showing it.

Uh might as well continue on. I think however that it's time to eat. We haven't eaten all day and you are probably wanting some real food, not that hospital stuff, yes? Precisely. I want chicken, salad, and some kind of Mexican food. No punctuation coming up here. Fine, what about drinks? What kind do you want? Well, seeing how we aren't adults, I guess alcohol is out. So soda?

Would you often say that when you were a kid like seeing as I'm not an adult. Yeah. Like just reminding yourself that you're I'm six now, so opening the fridge being like yeah, uh what sunny D, purple stuff. I guess we can't have alcohol. Whoa No, I want sparkling cider, sound good signor. Yes, that's fine. I keep around six bottles of that for holidays. I will cook dinner you can go take a shower or just watch television. So she's why is she saying that? She keeps...

That's true. If she did say I want sparking lighters sound good senor. She's Mexican, she wants Mexican. And then yes, responds to the next quote.

Or so t he m he messed up who was talking yet again. But six bottles for his doesn't he have a massive ballroom for uh uh three thousand people and and rooms that hold other types of parties? Plus six bottles? He knows that he has six bottles. I remember once in uh when I was a uh I went to college when I was sixteen years old, I went early. And I... And some guy was teasing me about my jeans, like God, your jeans are really stiff or something, you know?

They're so dark and I go, I've washed'em three times already and he goes Oh my god. Hell do you know how many times you've watched your dogs? I need to leave. I'm gone. Sorry. Goodbye, everyone. Yeah. But that's like I have s I I have like six bottles of God. Shut up. I pictured he'd have like, you know, the Nazis, he'd have all the wine of Europe in his basement or whatever. But uh Yeah. I have my sparkling cider cave. Keep around six bottles.

This they don't make this flavor of Mountain Duco Red anymore. It was only about Taco Bell, but they did sell it at one Taco Bell in Utah and I was able to stock up on it and I keep a cave full of it. You can't get it anywhere else. It's also listed on ebay. I'm the guy selling it. with my shirt. Uh and I would also like to remind you of the line of Tommy Wazot Let's go get something to eat, aha, come on, let's go which is something that's gonna be said uh many times in this. Uh so Wow.

So he flies her to Mexico after telling his mom that she was pistol whipped in a restaurant. Oh my god, did she at least get to eat some salad for her? Ah and so she's pistol whipped and brought to a hospital and then she bought the life so she like Well that's fine, you can take care of it fifteen year old. I don't care. Go ahead and so she doesn't return. She's in Mexico.

I think Th D said it was gonna be a couple days in the hospital and you know, like any parent whose wife is whose daughter has been pista whipped, they say, Cool, we'll see her when she gets home. Okay. All right. I just wanted to make sure we were covering all of our babies.

Yeah. It's like one of those weekends where you go, it's like I'm not gonna be really br I'm gonna try to live in the moment, so I'm not gonna be like checking in this weekend. I'm just gonna be having fun with the boys type of thing. Like that's what her mom says when she's been uh brutally beaten and confined to a hospital. He does prepare her for some food, and this is a uh I I had to post this this line to entice people to read this book on on social media.

The food was coming along well. I had all one sentence, I had put the chicken into the oven and prepared the lettuce for cutting. My knife wasn't sharp enough, so I used my claws, they were always clean due to being laced with plasma. I will point out.

Obviously there's a lot to unpack here, but this is the last time that he uses do spelled D U E. Oh for the rest of the time he spells it D O Okay. Something to do. Um I mean the question everyone had is plasma is something that you it's a part of your blood that you can go and and sell next to a check cashing place, right? Well, is it also a term for the sort of the balls of electricity, right, that are free floating that don't run along any kind of wires? Isn't that called plasma as well?

So that helps him be his claws be sharp enough to uh I don't know which one he's talking about. I don't know. Also, why don't you keep your knives sharp? Dude, you live in a pyramid. I thought pyramids were supposed to keep blades. This is very much not in character with a pyramid guy, uh Melady guy. He keeps his blades, his ornamental swords like

That is the knife uh that is the sword from Ronin. That is the replica of the uh seventh samurai sword. Like those those swords are gonna be sharp. Come on.

Uh Japan, these are seventeen layer uh Damascus steel. Uh the outer layer is uh soft iron and the inner core is V G ten super steel, so uh be careful with them is what I'm saying. This was an exact replica of the uh amok time uh weapon wielded by Shatner's stunt double. Okay, so dull knives so plasma laced knuckle blades come out to cut the lettuce. Um which, you know, for this uh Spitfire Mexican she must love that lettuce she's chopping up.

It really does embrace the uh and and also she wants Mexican food and it keeps we'll get to what he keeps serving her, but it's you know it's not like a you know, a a a a delicacy that you would only get in in It's not food that you eat in Mexico, it is American Mexican food that she keeps eating. And then here we get him. What this guy's whole deal is.

She began to eat the salad and took a sip of the juice I had placed beside her plate. She ate carefully, watching not to spill or rush too quickly. Semicolon. My guess is, so she wouldn't look like a pig in my presence. I just wrote spit take by that. Because then the next line is I didn't know you had a cat, she stated.

This is something I think we gotta read the whole thing. Uh'cause it is an insane Yeah. I didn't know you had a cat, she stated. I don't, or at least that is what I thought. It's cute. You should keep it. She picked it up, examined it, and spoke again. It's a girl. Got any milk? Yah, but I don't think she will need any milk, I said, as one thought passed my mind. Kundai, human form now, I commanded. She quickly responded and stood gazing at hope. She purred a little before she spoke again.

Hum, told you I knew, she mused. I don't know who's talking at this point in time. I don't know who Kundai is. No. Um I don't know if she has painter ears. Huh well, what are you doing here? I said, anger in my voice. I used to belong to Hope. When she was little I ran off. Really? We looked for days for you but found nothing. Well, here I am. I think you should stick with this male. He's cute. My kind of man, if you ask me.

Her eyes darted to Hope's and then to mine. Don't patronize me, Hope replied. Talk about a catfight, I mumbled under my breath. Both girls quickly glanced up at me, disgusted and angry. Uh I mean that the uh and then the next sentence is in how it ends. Oh we should uh yeah, this is a uh sonic challenge for us both. Do you just want to read it now as as written? Uh yeah, let's read it. Both ready? What? They both said What exactly is that supposed to mean you?

You hum hum well don't don't expect any sympathy from me tonight. Exactly how it's right. They both said So that is ha they both turned and stomped of into the living room. The kitchen was now silent and I stood watching as they walked away, trying not to laugh but couldn't. Oh, case so different kitchen. That's the plasma kitchen. The kit the knives in the regul the capital kitchen are all are all sharp.

I laughed at this occurrence for some time, then slowly and carefully made my way to the last. I in my mind, possibly the strangest section of any book that we've read. Um that was one of the longest sections we probably ever read in real time too, but

You know, you you get you get told Lynchian gets thrown around a lot. I just watched, you know, all of Twin Peaks from front to back. Yeah. I think that's a sequence that could be in there where it's something from the red room with the uh the the arm, the dwarf who dances like that.

Is just talking if that if some of that was in backwards talk like that, that would work well. None of that makes any sense. It has that sort of dream logic where there's a suddenly a cat there. She picks the cat up, she examines it to make sure it's female, so I assume that You know, that's looking taking a taking a big long look at there. Uh and then the cat becomes a person who says she used to live with hope when she was a little girl, but I ran away. It's

And he knows her? As a as her cat form? Kunds? Kundai. Or Kundai, sorry. Let's see if Kundai is ever mentioned again. Um So he's so anyway, the fifteen year old well he's yeah, he's fifteen, right? But he's gonna live to be a thousand. Yes. Okay. So he the two to two ladies, the Mexican Spitfire who he just gave lettuce and chicken to because she's Mexican. Oh you're gonna want to be some shredded cheese on top of your taco, which is obviously in a crispy shell here.

Uh meat, cheese and uh burritos. I also like it when when places that are bl ha just say taco meat on the nose. Uh but he so he walks into the carefully and slowly walks us into the living room where they're just living. Over being making his joke about a cat fight. And he says, Ladies, sorry about that really, I said, still chuckling.

So he's like coming into the room swirling a martini. He's fifteen years old Ladies, I'm sorry, but you broads are really cracking me up. I'm sorry about this. Why don't we slip into our uh swimsuits and join us in the hut? We'll sort others out. You two, take a nap. Um But they I also like that they're sitting there watching T V, so I'm just imagining that they're putting on, you know, a a yes dear rerun or something.

Some housewives or something. These broads are even crazier than you two. Uh but this so that's him and Kudai are watching TV and they talk a little bit and then Kudai is never Oh, that's it. That's it for I d I just go I just search for it right now. Wow. Oh yeah. He sits and talks to her while Hope has a shower and then I don't know. She disappears. Maybe she turns back into a cat. Okay, so here this I'm trying to figure out what's happening here physically. During

During I and Kudai's conversation, I hadn't noticed hope, had passed me. She now sat leaning against me on the co couch holding two plates of food. I gestured her to give me my plate and thus began to eat some. What is the phys he's talking to someone and doesn't notice that she's leaning against him with two plates of food?

He has panther ears. How is he not noticing this? I guess their dinner got interrupted when Kudai when she noticed his cat. But she was eating. She was eating not too carefully so she wouldn't have to be a little bit of a child. But uh yeah, I guess she came back with the uh you know the food is now cold. Uh she's wearing towels, right? She had taken a shower'cause uh he he he and Kudai were annoying him. So she's still in those towels. So she's holding two plates of food.

Has towels on, is leaning against him and he's like doesn't notice it. Well, he notices that her hair was cool and smelled like apples, green I think. It was still wet and the moisture fell upon my skin. You know I hate water, right? I stated abruptly. Sorry, is my hair bothering you? If so I can move. Stay your place. You're fine. Both yours or Y O U R I was just stating a future reference.

Fine, the food is good. I am just glad you can actually cook is how that bizarre the most bizarre thing ever said between two humans is ended with that. Well I'm just glad you can cook. Yeah. So is Stay your place, you're fine. I mean obviously the second one is supposed to be you are fine. Is stay is it supposed to be stay in your place or is stay your place uh Old timey phrase or something. Stay your place. Yeah, I it's in this one I'd I'd put it fifty fifty if it's Malady talk or

That he butchered. Yeah. Yeah. I mean he's got dull knives, so he wouldn't know like old timey phrases like stay your place. True. So he just left out in in and forgot. Okay. All right. Well, let's uh we've got to move forward. He does make her breakfast, which is an omelette and two glasses of orange juice, which took about fifteen minutes. That's after he sees her sleep with her hair is oily and covered the pillows on which her head has rested. So at some point she dumped oil in her hair.

Maybe the oil was what smelled like apples green, he thinks. Uh his use of yaw is made me laugh'cause I'm not sure. Like all of a sudden they're just like, Yeah. They're just Fargo characters. Right. It's written like Jaw, like the uh you know Rastafari, you know, deity. Uh and then he says she's gonna have her first day of training.

And it begins with a sequence where he doesn't really fill you in, but he says, like, uh, what do you think you want to wear? And she says, Jeans and oh I you know, that green blouse. And he says, Say that in your mind, but keep your eyes closed. I waited to see her reaction to the upcoming surprise. I quickly took her hand and led her into the bathroom and stood her in front of the mirror. Open your eyes now. Wow, that's awesome, she shouted.

Presumably she's wearing what she was thinking, but he never gives any indication that that's the case. And then she goes downstairs, she picked up a fork and started to speak. Omelets, nice, she admitted as she stabbed the corner of the omelets. And then his his response equally strange. I guess you like the food.

She admitted to liking an omelet. So what she did admitted that was a good A good real I I again just picturing like what would fifteen year olds be doing in a pyramid, you know? She's like slinking into chairs and like sitting down and like demurely eating omelets and stuff. You're fifteen, you're like Where's the video games? What what kind of TV you got here? Do you even get Wi-Fi? God. Yeah, really they're not obsessed at all with what they

what their friends are doing at this moment. She takes it all in stride. Yeah, she's she's there. She loves it. Uh but they they power down your uh standard uh pre uh karate training breakfast. Uh it takes her an hour and a half to eat the Really? And so she finished the whole thing in about an hour and a half. So I don't know if it's one of those like novelty like you know, this omelet has a dozen eggs. If you finish the whole thing in an hour and a half, your breakfast is free.

But then they go to a train and she says, So what are we doing first? Punching, kicking, what? She said with much haste. And uh he says, We're standing, I notice. And then the arena that they're in, it says uh was uh tall, it has arches, the floor was dirt, there was no ceiling, there was only one entry door. The fans sat in the stands four feet above the room. Mm-hmm. So there's there's fans there with like giant foam, we're number one finger.

vendor selling peanuts and stuff. I I was confused too. Like how does he How does he get the crowd in? I mean he's got a producer, I guess, who goes around, you know, with the people are kind of wandering around like the pyramid. I assume there are like different entrances where there's like a gift store and stuff and then Then he's like, Hey do w you want to see a show today? Like

You know, people munching sandwiches like that. No, it's free. We just need you to come in. We're gonna do like three shows in a row. We'd love if you stay for all of'em, but if you have to slip out Well, it's like the dolphin show at the aquarium, they charge you extra. I just want to make sure we're not gett paying extra because the tickets to explore this pyramid is out is also pretty expensive.

It opens with a really funny comedian. I think you're gonna like him. Uh he he works at a lot of clubs in the area. He's open for Paula Poundstone and uh so come on in and uh it's free, it's air conditioned. Oh just one second. I noticed that this is uh this is two fourteen year olds down here. Is this I mean, is this okay? Like I we're just gonna watch two fourteen year olds fight each other? It seems interesting.

It is. It's gonna be interesting. Just keep an eye on the applause sign and we'll be good, all right? Here we go. Is this is is this like a sting operation? I really feel uncomfortable here, like uh uh I I I accidentally went to a cock fight once and I felt the same way. This just seems even weirder. Is hot property gonna come trotting out here?

I mean she's got a green blouse on and uh I I don't know. She is training for this karate stuff in jeans and that's are they Chuck Chuck Norris's action jeans? I don't know what's going on. Uh but yeah he shows her punches, kicks, blocks. He will teach her how to use her powers and the claws. So I don't know if she gets the claws and powers or if that's just a news. And then he says this is uh

This is a a bugaboo of mine. I've noticed this because he says, I quickly disappeared from her line of view and attacked from behind. Cause she was in the stance I showed her, she seen me easily and guarded my attack. Mm-hmm. Uh that's a uh particular area of the United States where I used to live that people say I seen where the I seen that one. Yeah. It uh sets.

He must he's from the Midwest, right? Wow, I don't know. I I didn't look up I don't want to look too much into what's going on, which is the way.

Uh and then it very quickly ends with her saying, I'm sore from the training yesterday. What d did the fans file out of here? Were they happy about what they saw? I don't know, but it now upside down. Yeah,'cause he's in the middle of a three hundred acre Uh I continued to show her more punches, kicks, blocks, etc. And then we got to the fun part.

Powers. I will teach her how to use her powers and the claws, etc. for both of those? What are the powers? What are the kicks, blocks, punches, what's you can't just Etc. that? How do the claws get implanted in her? Like, you know, you're still alluding to these powers that are more and powerful than stopping time. So what are they? And what when did we learn that she's I mean he chose her to be mistress I guess he saw her in a dream. So she just is A half human.

Who was an immortal pff do we know what she is? Why does she have claws? Well powers. Well he's about to do this. I mean he says this. Sorry. I held in my hand the necklace or eternal light. It is a very funny typo, but he gives her the necklace of eternal light and uh maybe that's what the powers come from. Yeah, I guess she's presumably wearing it from here to the room. Okay he says uh powers they're simple enough.

You use your mind to comma use powers, comma example. I hurled a fireball up into the air. She just stood. And fireball is uh two words, so it's maybe an homage to fireball or uh Mr. and Mrs. Lily Ball. Sylvia Ball. Now we shall learn how to fly while in human form. This was crucial to the ability of the Sure. When whenever I take a mistress I I want to make sure she can fly

Well in human form. We'll have to review E. L. James's sequel to the mistress the mistress and see if that's a uh crucial to the plot of that one. Wow. Noticing vacuum cleaners with faces on them are crucial to the ability of the mistress. Uh and then he says uh that they reveals he did have panther ears, but he says, While an eagle form, when you you're flying, use the wind to ascend or descend, turn, stop and go. You're gonna learn all this on your own.

You'll get the hang of it. You can miss it. It's right on the left. But no, I can. I've never been here. No, just keep going. You can miss it. I've never been here and I've never assumed the form of an eagle before. So I I feel like there's a lot I might be missing out on. Uh to gain speed, put both your arms to your sides and feel

And feet sorry, and feet together, and then you must think as to the speed you want to go. You'd break the sound barrier well over ten times before you'd reach full speed. Pick a speed that's pretty slow. What about the two forms other than human? Look, can we just focus on the one thing right now? Let's just stay. This is very important. Please pick a speed that doesn't shred your flesh off. Otherwise you will yeah, you will burst into flames immediately. So please what about the Panther Force?

So yeah, there's two forms Panther and Eagle, um as has been revealed to us thus. But that's uh that that sort of is parsed out to us right now. And then this little information, we continued to practice other powers, aerial and ground combat, transforming eh generally a bit of everything. I even showed her how Zozer.

The day was starting to fade, no sun long longer at the area. We entered the estate once again. He I was hoping. I was like, What are they gonna show what is he gonna show her how Zozar? I d I dropped my book and I went, Shut up. No you didn't. Did you really? You even sha dude. The next mention of Zozer is not too uh halfway through the book. It's gonna be a big treat when we realize what's the one.

But right after Zozer works, she cooked this time. Very well, I might add. The smell of rice and chilies flowed all throughout the house. I went and looked over her shoulder at the food. She was now slicing up some. Tomatoes and frying some homemade tortillas. She was making enchiladas, covered in Mexican style rice and chili ships.

This this is what I was uh it comes up next. I'm gonna try to sneak this into conversation with Bridget and see if I can get away with it. Mm. This is good. It all goes together very nicely and I like it a lot. The flavour is very apparent and The cool tomatoes really make it great.

Thanks, honey, the food's good. And just see if she's like what do you stop, stop that, stop that right now. That is your gentle and truthful voice as she's uh as she says he says he's speaking. Yeah, if you will to me. If you have a uh a favorites uh you know uh Mexican restaurant in your area, then you go ahead and leave that as a review uh I think on uh on Google or Yelp. I think they would probably appreciate the'cause she does, she smiles at the compliment. Oh okay.

Uh but then uh that night th they both go to bed. I mean they're they're sleeping in different rooms. So don't worry about that. Uh I walked into the room only to find Hope standing over the sink with one hand under the now running faucet. The water was followed by blood flowing from her hand. What happened? I said, my voice shaking. I got up to get another enchilada and wanted some tomatoes to go with it. I began to slice one up when I cut my hand. It's not that bad really.

So she's she's getting a a midnight snack of enchiladas? It just does not s seem like mistress material to me. I mean I don't know nothing about the the selection process.

It's like I don't know. Like So the next morning instead of like her in a towel, she's like wearing a house dress with a big gloop of like m taco meat down the front of it like Did you eat a bunch during the night? Like eh, I got a little hungry so I ate some enchiladas. What's it with you, big guy? Saggy uh track pants with juicy across the butt, just like

Oh man, no, I ain't hungry. Uh maybe if I go fire one out that'll make some room there, but that's not uh that ain't gonna happen uh until I get some coffee. This oil is staying in my hair, so shut up about it. Um I I was wondering about the the source material thing was bugging me. Like I didn't What is he pulling from until this? The sweet smell of iron soon comma soon found my nose.

I, without, comma, pause, took her hand from the faucet, comma, and lightly licked the blood from her hand. My eyes filled with flames, comma, of a light blue indicating my gentleness, comma, along with love for this person. I said nothing and Hope was shocked. Okay, so drinking her blood and his eyes changing color.

Yeah. I mean protecting you from a truck, like all of that. Like finding a mortal girl to take as your own, like I didn't uh the truck thing didn't hit me'cause it's so the it was so confusingly written, I was probably focusing on other things, but now Okay. In cell twilight, that's what we've got here.

Mm-hmm. Uh and then he says so so he starts licking her blood. Um and it says she tried to pull my hand from the grasp, but I held it in place. I soon finished, and she quickly spoke. What the freak was that exactly? she yelled.

So th if someone just like took my hand and started licking all my blood off, I would wait till they respectfully, I would wait till they finished before I asked what they were doing. Yes. And and also I mean it's just odd the the things she chooses to be sort of angry and you know. outrageous about certain things, but like his Panther ears, his battle suit.

his flight, his owning a pyramid, his being a thousand years old. These are all taken quite in stride. But the licking of blood off of her hand, Warren say, What in the name of this and no further, sir? Um here's my sonic challenge to you. Uh at least I didn't drink it the way I normally do. My eyes narrowed, capital N. Oh, and how would you do that exactly? she said, still yelling but a bit sarcastic now.

Okay, I'm just gonna go back to whatever she's been saying, uh, and then do it the whole time on all shift from what when she's just yelling to when she's now yelling a bit sarcastic. What the freak was that exactly? Why? Are you vampire or something? Oh? And how would you do that exactly, huh? I think it did shift to be a bit more sarcastic at her yelling towards the end. She was still yelling though. She just hadn't saying that.

The the final yelling is due to him saying uh'cause she says why are you vampire Uh no, it's due to the panther half of me that I like the taste of it. Plus, because you're mistress, now I crave your blood. And that's sort of like a okay, all right, that's on me for not asking about whether there was a whole blood craving thing involved here. I I I should have asked about that before I signed on the whole being.

Yeah, I asked the wrong questions back when we had that little back and forth.'Cause he also adds, I also need your blood to heal my wounds. Oh And I signed that mistress paper. Didn't look at the fine print. And then he goes full on he has uh fangs uh sink into her neck artery, her body falls limp and we fell to the floor and he drinks a whole lot of her blood. And uh when she looks up at him, I could tell she was confused. Well, what did you think?

It felt good. I actually think I like the experience. Good. Now it's your turn. Okay, she said shyly. End of chapter.

Yeah, smoke alarm going off'cause the chicken and tomatoes are burning on the stove of his lowercase kitchen. That's incredible. So if she had never gotten up to have a midnight enchilada, would she she'd never cut her thing? Would any of this had happened and we would just you know we would not have drunken gotten the whole blood drinking scene? I guess one day he would just like go to her and just start drinking her fat his canines protruding and just start slurping at her neck.

Like what way wait what the hell? Yeah, it's like it's like I got wounded, so I need to heal my wound. Yeah, it one of those things where the more you don't talk about it it gets more and more embarrassing the further you let it go. Like All right, it's been three weeks, I really need to drink your blood. That was part of the whole deal all along, but I was too embarrassed.

And I thought it was gonna come up before now. Like I was giving you these plasma knives to cut things hoping you were gonna cut your hand and it just never happened. This is your fault. Yeah, it's like a uh have you ever gone to like I have uh monthly meetings and there's guys whose name I don't know but now it's run into years and you're just like So one day you're just like, So anyway, Jim, like Jim, my name's Bob like oh shit.

I've literally known you for two years in San Diego who lived like four doors down that I would sometimes meet at the bar like across the street to watch. Yeah, because they were from Northern Virginia too, and w way too early on into that I realized I didn't know their names and it just kept going. There's no way to stop. Oh what a chapter. Holy cow. So much, so densely packed.

Everything seemed bold to me as I read it. Well, I think that this is obviously a natural blink to do uh real real or fanfic for the next thing and boy is it gonna be insane. Oh boy, so this is Real or Fanfic, the segment of our podcast where Mike is gonna try to guess. Which of these five segments are real segments from later in Kyleb's Dream or fanfic written by our listeners, the beloved jackals?

Who seem to be having a really fun time with this one uh over on the Patreon, patreon.com slash three seventy two pages. They have been discussing it for uh I guess two weeks now. I mean that's where someone recommended it to us in the first I feel as I do like uh remember when Scrooge meets the ghost of Christmas future and he's like I fear you most of all spirit Uh when I was reading this I'm like I'm

I'm just gonna fail miserably at real or fanfic. It literally the Could be anything. I'm always like it's a toss of a coin, but this is truly I could be hooked by madness that you'll all mock and laugh at me forever. Well Panther ears just appeared. What was I supposed to say? So anyway. There's a cat that just turned into a yeah. I'm lowering everyone's expectations.

Uh well yeah but check it out. It's patreon accomplished seventy two pages. We do uh little sub podcast where we've tried to solve Encyclopedia Brown mysteries. Mike's preparing a thrilling classical mini uh wading into some extreme Bach controversy which that's gonna rope people in. Uh but yeah you also get everything early so you can listen to it Uh, I was exciting to see what the trolls were going to make.

I had never met trolls before, but they seemed friendly after we declared a truce during the first fight where I showed them my claws, but they were faster than me, so it was going to be a draw probably, yet all I wanted was to be their friend and get their help.

They put a diced round object called a yun yun in their pan. It looked like an onion from where I am from. Then they added something that looked like garlic, peppers, and a meat that smelled like chicken or pork. They wrapped it in a flat disc and pour sauce on it. I laughed. We call these enchiladas where I am from. They laughed. We call them something different. But we like that name, so we're going to call them enchiladas as well.

I gotta I gotta call it fanfic. I mean, come on. Yun yuns. All right, number two. Hope we must unify. It is the only way to stop slayer permanently. What does unify mean? And how do we do that? Hope asked, a hint of fear in her beautiful eyes. We merge into one being, and it will cut quadruple our power a hundred times over. We must interlock our fingers on both hands and chant Unify three times. She grabbed my hands and did as I told her to. Slayers you ketted

Started shaking from fear as we unified. What are you, Slayer hissed? Call this new form Master Boho. Prepare to be defeated. You Kets is U dash K E T Capital U dash K E T S.

Okay. Boho? Combined name. Um boy oh boy. I don't know. I'll s I'll say it's real. I don't know why. Number three. That is what you do not understand, she winced. I never asked to be mischievous. I only want to go to high school and laugh at my friends. Dancing movies. That is how I wish to fill my virginal youth. I wanted to shake her, but knew that as her temperament went, thus did the fate of universe.

For time was running out. Insecurity was her flaw and in my hands it becomes a cudgel. This is unbecoming conversationally for breakfast, I scolded harshly. Eat before it coldens. Not until you explain. Not until you explain why I can never see my parents again. I love them. Grey torpedo came along into the doorframe and I forced him back into the hallway with Panther energy. Now was not the time. I shut the door with Panther energy, ignoring his tormented, arrogant wails.

I, too, doubted my place in all of this, I told her. A plump fork full of beans found its way to my lips. I questioned the wisdom of the council and pursued frivolous pleasures of the flesh instead. And that day the towers fell because of my perversions. I will never forgive myself for that folly. Thousands of lives lost on nine eleven. What? All right. See, I can see someone choosing this if it was real because it's so insane. I mean I have to say it's real. Wow. Coldens Uh Number four.

The council had three hundred chefs preparing food year round. They are paid and in turn they cook. The five hundred seat table was covered from end to end, with e period. With every possible breakfast option from across the spans of the world and time as well. The council had no limits as to what they could cook. I had my coffee prepared differently at the council than I did in Erie.

The coffee was freshly ground and brewed for two hours before it was allowed to fall into the pot below. One small spoon of sugar and an ounce of fresh milk, that wasn't pasteurized with the cream still floating on top, were poured into the pot as well. One spoon of imported vanilla from Mexico was added along with the final ingredient, a fresh drop of a drop of fresh honey still containing some of the combs. The taste was strong and sweet. Smooth as it fell upon my tongue.

I also had breakfast, which consisted of eggs and a sourdough bread sandwich of lettuce salami, big chunks of roast beef, and slow roasted pork glazed with a pre creamy blue cheese sauce. The sound of small bare feet on the cold marble floor caught my attention. I sat my sandwich down as I watched Hope approach the co approach the chair beside mine.

She was still in her pajamas covered by her bathrobe. She was very careful when anyone went around anyone other than me about how she looked. She even attempted to clean up her hair, but from what I could tell, failed horribly. Her hand breached the bounds of my plate only to steal a piece of the unbitten sandwich. It entered her mouth. I watched as she allowed the numerous flavors sink in, only to swallow it. Wow, that was a long one. Yeah. Which makes me think of ten.

Someone chose it'cause it would be real, but that's what I thought about the last one. Damn. I mean it it's a conundrum. I would just point out. He could have food from any time or s or place in the world and his coffee is just brewed slightly differently and his sandwich. It's pretty much the same sandwich we had out of his freshman mixer. Yeah, with the creamy blue cheese sauce. No word what the other uh delicate glazes were the first time. Oh boy. I don't know. I'll say fanfic.

Here's the last one. I wasn't the first to attack, their general brother. He threw two thin blades at my throat, only missing by injury. I quickly took to the offensive. All the metal I could control, thus I did, by draining it from their armor. Only metal that remained was of their helmets and boots. The armor that surrounded their torso now gone exposed their skin.

I soon took warrior form. The spikes protruded and my claws burst out of their slumber. The cool smoothness of my battle suit felt good. I began to spin, making use of the spikes, on my back and chest. I spun through them like a saw. Gallons of blood soon fell all at once, covering the ground, now only a dozen or so remained. I I'm hopeful. I I have no idea. I I say I'll say fanfic. I don't I've never been more a C than this.

Yeah,'cause nothing has happened in this book and as the next chapter goes, nothing is going to happen. So like what what could happen anyone can see. Well just out of nowhere. You could just say anything. Right. All right. So here's how you did. I don't think Super well. Okay. Uh number one was uh eating with the trolls, making a yun yun and calling them enchiladas. You said fanfic.

That was fanfic written by Harrison. Okay, well done. Uh number two uh was the Unify to stop Slayer's UKTS and form Master Boho. You said real, that was fanfic written by Josh. Thank you, Josh. Uh number three, that was uh Eat Before It Coldens, uh Panther Energy and Thousands of Lifes Lost on 9-11. You said real That was the first one I've tried writing in a long time. Oh. That was mine, so Oh You sorta just you sorta just cheat!

You sort of just let your mind like uh you turn off all the rules and like like just stream a consciousness and then you wake up and that's what you've That's really weird is what I thought of contacting you it was a little too late and say could you do this whole book real or fanfic? But and then I actually was sitting down going, Oh I could I liked uh a plump fork full of beans found its way to my lips.

Uh number four was a long description of his food from anywhere, his coffee from anywhere uh and her showing up with her uh uh fail horribly at cleaning up her hair. He said fanfic that was real submitted by Jackson. See I hedged my bets on it. So this is uh very And then so what are you at now? You've gotten One for four. And then last one you was the uh sort of spinning around. I don't know if it's this way or like a t uh tornado. Yeah, spikes. We don't know how big the spikes are.

But uh you said fanfic that is real from later in the book submitted by five? Yeah, this could be speaking of gallons of blood, it's a blood bath. Yeah, I don't know if you've ever Ofered, but that's probably Holy cow. I I'm not claiming I'd do any better. Oh boy, that is rough. Well, at least I predicted it. Jeez.

Okay. Well, speaking of real or fanfic, the next chapter starts with them uh on their way to the club, uh the dance club El Fuego and La Olma. So I mean we left the last Uh chapter off with them drinking each other's blood, you probably wouldn't have guessed that they were uh they were heading their way to the club, which means fire in in a soul in Mexic in uh Spain. Um so I I couldn't remember. Diz uh does Mr Ball drive them? Mr or Mrs. Ball or both of them? Oh drive them to the

Yes. Yes. Well, it's later revealed that Fireball is sitting outside. All right. Um chaperoned, I guess. So he's like his bodyguard, I guess. Yeah. He just happens to chaperone them to a salad bar at the very So this is um picture this whole scene is like I think what he's going for is like you know, Antonio Banderas and uh you know I don't know. Who's the Salma Hayek? Selma Hayek. like coming in and sort of nerdy, like, oh boy

We're going to do something we've never done before. We're gonna dance this st and then they go out on the floor and everyone's like What? And then everyone gets out there and they're like in the center of attention and spinning into other guys with no shirts on or, you know, cut down to here like And uh they're fifteen. So it's hot property for these people. We walked under the floor and soon a circle of Mexicans formed around.

But then it later you know, so you know, you think it's gonna be like a mind if we dance with your date type of situation, but then grand cheering could be heard as the approval of our dancing ability. Um and it does say we were the only couple of mixed origin I American. So that does he's more of like if Zack Efron was playing a nerd or like if it was an actual nerd like the guy from Road. Finn Wolfhard. Oh Finn Wolfard would be another Yeah.

But then so yeah, it it's i th they they win them over quickly with their with their fiery souls of dancing. Yeah. Uh Michael Serra from ten years ago is giving applause by the Mexican uh salsa club. Yeah, McLovin. Yes. Uh but it does say outside sat fireball awaiting. I just wondered if he sat there the entire time or went or did something else. So he's getting a little suspicious of fireball in his bowling league here. He's gotta put a tracker on his company.

Um oh and as far as I know, this is the first reference'cause he goes they go back to their house, right? Yeah. First reference of it? Every time we return to Do you say the two Ts? I don't know. I have no idea. Still stop and take in the sheer breathtaking beauty. The landscape was one of great of tranquility and vast expanses unrivaled by any except for the land of the great lion. So that must be uh that might be the the country of Africa he's referring to right there.

Um and then what happens? They uh He gets uh he gets approached by Noel Psalm, who intro introduces himself as son of Isis and Iris. And uh he just says like they're the lord and mistress of some other province. I just said he throws a whole lot of shit. King Zozu would star have a plan to build in the region of Xian to be undertaken. So he needs them to build he has to build them a castle. Right. Right. It's the okay. What brings one such as yourself here at such a late hour?

He's still like mopping the perspiration off his face from winning the salsa contest at the Mexican club. Uh huh. I prepared for an attack as always. My grandfather fireball from the council sends Fire Ronald Ball III sends me. I am the son of his children, a woman from Totelqua married one from the realm of Aynes, and now here we are.

That's all no punctuation. What does that mean? That's worse than your like grandmother being like this is your second cousin twice removed. You're like, What is that I what? Like so can I date her or not? Like the answer to that. Well, that was you know, Karen came over and she of course brought Maeve with her and so Maeve and Karen. You were talking about Aunt Dot, yeah.

You know their boys. And they're bo and one of them is a computer like you. He does the computer stuff. He's he's her guru. She fixes the AOL for him. Yes, that's what it was like. I don't know what's happening here. My grandfather fireball from the council sends me. I am the son of his children. So this is From his children a woman from Tetaquala married one from the realm of Eris, and now here we are.

But he's is he Noel Psalm, son of Iris and Isis Psalm? So Isis and Iris Psalm are Fireball's children? Fireball and Israel.

Uh and I don't know if anything's important, but um I think they ask him to build a castle. It says there's nine provinces and nine lords and mistresses. It's some just really hasty, shitty world building. But he he agrees that he will build a castle. And says, I remember well the castle of how I had envisioned it and hoped it would turn out as such. And I thought that's probably what Frank Lloyd Wright thought before he undertook any archival.

And it took me a second, I didn't realize'cause he calls her hope all the time. So what brings you here, White Eagle now by my side? Oh, Ashley's White Eagle? Right. He's White Bo and she's White Eagle. So they don't I guess they're not married yet, so they haven't adopted if Beau is his name.

And then I'm not sure what's happening here. Does every province have a lord and mistress who all work under the king and queen? I asked. I hoped they did. This would make the organization of an army easy. What? Yeah, you can delegate authority through, you know, uh feudal uh the feudal system that they've got. So the two fifteen year olds.

Or you know, I assume they were eating enchiladas and the doorbell rings and like two people show up like I am the grandson of Firefox, the eagle of the third realm of Like, okay. What's going on? Who are you? Wait until this episode of Teen Mom is done'cause uh

Then there's more discussion of a uh he says I am the master architect, you can call me Nay and he recognizes he's he's he tips his hat'cause he recognizes that's an allusion to an Egyptian type of flute. Yes. Um and then he says, uh this is when I realized this author has to be Uh. Oh I have the exact same notes. It's perfect. I suggest you begin by telling me the name of the construct. Very well. It's called the Castle of the Niphrons of Xian. We are of the castle of the Niphrons of Xian.

So you know I bet quite a b large sum of money that he likes the band, not just the documentary. I like that it works with the continent. It will be made of marble, capital M and covered in white marble lowercase M casing stones. What will it be shaped like? Nay asked. I assume he's got a little notepad, you know. Uh huh, uhhuh, like it, yeah, sure.

Uh i it will be a pyramid. Oh one large, one in the center, with four equal size smaller ones at each corner. Matruska pyramids? I really was just hoping to do a shower insert on this. Because structurally it's all good, it's all set. But you you want a pyramid in the center of a pyramid with four pyramids. That's gonna I mean I I'm gonna be honest with you that's gonna Look, who's building the castle of the Nirfrons of Xiang? Me or you? That's true.

Uh and then he uh he for whatever reason he gives he conjured gold into his hands and melts it into liquid and shapes metals for it out of the children that he's he's given it to his children as like participation trophies. I'm not sure. It's not no he gives the medals to uh the architect's assistants To Killy and Zhoru? Yeah. Because he see uh well Nay, I am pleased to meet To Killy and Joru. I can say with one hundred percent that they shall all be master architect.

Forgot a word there. Which is embarrassing when you're in a formal meeting with the a guy who can build pyramids and you just forget a word. If you took a meeting with your general contractor for a major renovation like this and he was like saying things like this is Marvel and this'll be Marvel and Leaving out a hundred percent uh but like you'd be like, Ah, I don't know. I mean You'd wake up to get an enchilada later that night and you'd just be like stupid. You'd be forgetting words.

And then he says, uh uh w where you wear these medals that I gold have conjured you will be allowed into any palace, embassy or on Ilaris or Tictiliqua. These will teleport you to Iris. Just use the telequind fairies Azo ru titi uska. So you just have to remember that, like bibbidi bobbity boo, and you can teleprate f from Tiliqua to Iraq I hope that never comes up again, these three architectural grad students teleporting back or forth.

Uh so you know, when can you obviously the whole You know,'cause we're gonna be like You know, I'll be right in the checks. How long is this gonna take? Nay, uh Toey, uh Killy, Joe Ru, don't wanna leave you out of the conversation if you wanna join in. Uh Master White Bow, I suspect it will be complete just in time for the war's end. Oh huh. Wars End. Uh Let's see.

And that's on the schedule. You've got that under schedule. Do you know something we don't? Because of the people are suffering because of this war. So if you know when When we need to hold out to. I am um part of the Manhattan Project. I forgot to tell you that. We're pretty sure this is going to end the war. Oh, that would crack me up. Uh right about the time the war ends. Uh and this is where the language kind of changes. Again, fifteen year old at the door in his robe, right?

Well, that shall do nicely, I presume all is taken care of here? Very much so, sir. I grant you leave and let God bless you with another fine day. His comment and blessing were appreciated. And good luck with uh what do you have, chemistry is it one oh one or is it just chemistry? That's right. No, that's not till sophomore year. No, we're just doing like, you know, earth science, geoscience it's a good course. Yeah.

Yeah, it occasionally lapses into like Arthurian, but you don't know if that's just'cause he's inappropriately using thus or if it's supposed to sound like that. But speaking of ending wars, um it says thank you very much, may you all be blessed and kind. We now left to Keel Tectilica and returned to Iris. To the UN we went so we could check on the status of the BOWT. What?

I am very confused about this. He takes off to visit the UN, that's the actual UN we're assuming in Manhattan, and B O. D, not mentioned before. He does clarify a few sentences later. Um That his he introduces himself Rico Fernando, the new intelligence agent for the White Blades Council. Oh no, I'm sorry, that's who he's meeting. Uh and he says, I want to talk to you, Rico, about the blood order of wrathful demons. So that's the B.O.W.

And it's like, oh the blood well sure, the blood order of Rathlebe is first of all, great guys. But this is very confusing. He leaves the UN, right? The day was still young as I crossed into the US. The border patrol saluted me as I flew over. Oh wow, maybe it's the uh the secret UN. I don't know. Does he think that the UN is in another country?

Or i i I figured he was doing'cause then he talks about his path and like maybe he he went into Canada. Yeah, maybe some weird customs loophole or something. I don't know. But he d he also mentions that uh when Slayer and Monchy attack we'll be well prepared. So Slayer has a s an assistant named Monche who's never been mentioned. I did want to uh bring up the band Slayer and see what their number one hit was but I neglected

So if anyone knows what I picture that music coming up every time he says then Slayer was there. Yeah, it's like the most uncreative name for a demon. The most famous metal band. Yeah. Uh the uh so this is my favorite character in the book. And says the day was still young as I crossed into the US, the border patrol saluted me as I flew overhead.

Man, I wish I could fly like that. He doesn't even care about being shot down or nothing, one said as he slaw my fly as he saw my flying. That's probably my favorite character, Border Patrol guy who's just like looking up at him like Superman. Man. That's some bitch. Uh this is very confusing. Okay. I landed at my house now. Mm-hmm. The pyramid. Right? That's his house. Sure. Yes. Been stated as such.

and came to find my uncle was there, along with his wife and kids. I quickly landed so he landed again, I guess, in the nearby wood, then walked up between the line of cars to the house. Hey Kylib, glad to see your home. Who dropped you off? I told my parents I was staying at Philip's house. His mom, she then had to go and do some errands. Oh, okay, well come in and say hello to your uncle, she demanded. What is happening? Who's she is someone about to become a human from a cat? I don't know.

So I had to read it. He's talking about his parents' house, not his house. He's flown in half a U shape from New York to Ohio. Okay. He drops down over Lake Erie to catch a fish with my now present talons. Oh it is Lake Erie?'Cause he spells. The Ire, yes. Um and so he then drops in on the house that he was in at the start of the book, where his uncle has just dropped by with his cousins, ever eager cousins Tyler, Austin and Ann.

Oh uh Tyler, Austin, Amber and I don't know where the other one was. There's a fourth cousin who's just not there. That was uh that was so uh cozy verse, all of a sudden yeah uncles and cousins being named one by one.

Cats. And so yeah, that took a long time to figure it out because yeah, he's not at a pyramid, he's doing all this stuff, and then we got this sentence. This is what I read to Lauren over I was scrolling through all these and I just like picked this and I think she thought like I had found like the most absurd part in the book. I was like, No, this is just what was on the kit on the screen at this time. To to my delight, I swooped up to a new jug of chocolate mel.

Thus I poured me a glass, then returned the jug to the fridge. The creamy sweetness of the milk and chocolate mixture passed over my tongue cooling my body as it cascaded down the street. So she was, you know, almost crying laughing and I was like, That's just what was on my screen. I did I had no effort to find this for you. Oh, and then there are cats. His cousin Ember wanted a Amber wanted a pet one of his wild cats and is it g is it a person?

Does the cat solve crimes? We don't know. Is this a is this a way a human would describe petting a cat? You be the judge. The purring and capital K kneading of the cat's paws against my hand gave evidence of the likeness. The cat showed for me a likeness of the highest. Don't think he knows what the words he uses it again later to mean a fondness for

Uh my cousins always seemed to like playing my games, fine by me I never seem to have played them enough. This was evidenced well by the half inch of ducks dust on each case. Ever since I began writing my book I haven't found much time for games.

That you've been consumed with writing a book this whole time. Well, you're picking your mistress up at a freshman mixer and flying to your pyramid in Mexico. You've also been writing On the discovery of Africa or something. How to build a pyramid by uh Master Whitebow. And maybe before you finish the book, invest in an air filter if a half inch of dust is piling up.

But yeah, the the ever since I started writing my book I was like It has a a a tinge of Ignatius J. Riley about him too, just with the uh with the My Lady and dressing to my liking and vr constantly mentioning that they're working on a book that they're clearly not. Uh Sonic Challenge. Uh thus that it was followed by a light, deep voice.

Caleb, the food is done, come eat. There are hamburgers, brats, chips, and stuff. Oh, and I also picked up a block of blue cheese if you want some of that later. So you got your marching orders. A light, deep voice talking about food. That's his dad who is telling him this. Oh my god. Caleb, the food is done. Come eat. There are hamburgers, brats, chips, and stuff. Oh, and I also picked up a block.

It's deep ish, but it's also a feathered touch. It looks light. It's off putting as hell. I bought you a block of blue cheese. If you want some of that later. Remember at O'Brien's when you'd order the brewer's plate and they would give you a block of blue cheese to eat with your sausages and stuff like that? His dad has taken up uh that that policy. Also, this is the this is the description of his his dad's meal before he comes and informs.

The smell of freshly grilled meat, of which my dad had grilled, filled the tiny space of the house, thus lovingly entered my nose. Oh and the c uh yeah, and the kitchen was crowded, so you had to wait for all the Oh those cousins. Uh but then so he describes his food plate and maybe you have more of it, but he says Well, along with a wedge of blue cheese residing on top of the brats and like a big

No, that's for later. What are you doing? Don't prepare a blade with that. Yeah. I thought I made it very clear. Put that in your pocket and then it will melt as you fly uh way above supersponics, as you do in a few matter of sentences. Oh man. But yeah, he flies back to Titilly. Uh at speeds way above supersonic, which reminded me of a kid saying infinity plus one. Yes. And I guess he leaves his parents a letter saying um

Do you think he went to his friends again? And it's like one of his parents says, Do you think he went to his friends again? Eh probably. He mentioned something about it a few weeks ago. It says he plans on coming back tomorrow. Well then we shouldn't worry about him then. He's kept his word so far. And then

It reminded me of that we did that uh Christmas movie with the the Martian or whatever. Uh huh, the Christmas Martian. Christmas Martian and the uh parents of the kids were gone all day with the Martian, like all day from dawn till dusk. And the parents have the same the dad. And the mom was like, Our kids I haven't seen I don't know where they are.

Like, relax. It's Christmas Eve. Where where can they g well we haven't seen them at all, they haven't eaten It's their vacation. They're on school break. What are you gonna do? Yeah. When when I was young we drank out of the hose. They'll be fine. Yeah, we flew to Mexico. Uh to my uh pyramid. What's the big deal?

Oh, so he he returns home. He's been to the UN, he's eaten a block of blue cheese at his parents' house and showed his cousin some games. It's a you know, it's a typical fifteen year old's day. Uh but then he he has to fill uh Mistress Hope Um about he has to like recruit an army or something like that. This makes as much sense to us as it does to you if you're not reading. Uh I s she says why that many in such short time? I snapped unwillingly.

Demons are not going to keep their word. As to when they will attack, their numbers are in the millions, if not billions, and I would like to be ready with an army of five hundred thousand men. Oh actually saying it out loud, I I'm gonna need a lot more men'cause they might have billions. Uh five hundred thousand will be crushed like ants uh beyond an army of f uh billions of demons. Oh boy. He s he says when they say army they mean an overflowing planet sized mass.

One might consider an invasion, not just a mere army. So I mean it sounds like mankind is doomed, uh just to me. I don't know. It's funny that he just meets us this just comes in one of their like snippy little arguments. Billions of tr trillions of demons are coming here. Like, wait, what? You're just like eating blue jeans and So during their argument, um oh, she does the good to see your back like the old joke. Yeah the you know, slap someone and go nice to see your back.

She does that to him after he flies from the UN. Sorry, UN via uh Cholokith, Ohio. Um, I can get from the US to Mexico in about two seconds, I guess flying home and back up here wouldn't be so bad. I will just have to go faster. Uh long ellipses or long ellipses. The thought was interrupted by Hope's curiosity. What or what? I have to start saying that more often. Bridget's trying to explain something like I'm I'm really feeling down because what or what? What

Uh okay. Uh this AI is not up to its standards. It turns out it's harder to program one than you think, but what or what? I have no idea what that means or what it's referencing. What or what? I don't know. Yeah. What or what? What or what? Uh

She is sort I think she sort of miffed at him though,'cause he went to the UN and just like left her alone all day. So she's like your breakfast is cold. It was warm four hours ago when I made it like And he's like, Lay off me, there's billions of demons coming. I just want to have a beer and watch the game. Uh but then to pa the room again to make things up for her, I flew first to a florist and bought a bouquet of white roses.

emphasize that a bouquet of white roses. They were infused between with a few red and yellow roses to help vary this election. Ha and then it says one good thing about bu buying roses or any flower arrangements in Tatilqua was that they that due to the vast amount of flowers on the continent They were cheap. For very little money you could buy like three or four bouquets of flour. That's what you you want to bring your lady when you're trying to make up.

Yeah, I got you uh went to the uh five and dime and got your panties rolled up like a rose. Hoping you'll parade those for me a little later tonight. I I do have I may I did spring gold out of thin air to give to those uh three architectural interns last chapter. I have to be thrifty with my flowers.

They also gave me some of that uh herbal speed at the cash register, so I'm pretty I'm pretty high right now. Horny goat weed? No, no, no. It's stuff that they uh the horny goatweed's way too classy. This uh this place doesn't sell that kind of thing. Uh and it's followed, believe it or not, by a uh plate of breakfast. Yes, here comes the breakfast. Only to return with a plate full of eggs, bacon, and some other meats and a slice of toast, along with a drink of which she held in her hand.

So now he's just getting like those ads, you know, where they try to push breakfast cereal on you and realize like we can't Nutritious, so A b uh breakfast of juice, milk, toast and tricks. He's getting all the rest of part of this complete breakfast.

Uh and he's really gotta be careful with this some other meats thing'cause it's coming up a lot and he's gonna find himself eating, you know, Golden Retriever or something if he's not careful here. He just shovels any meat placed on his tray into his thing and being Oh so what do you call this? Oh soil and green, huh? Sounds good. Keep'em coming. Meats which he distinguishes from chicken and beef in an earlier description. That's why it makes you be like

Capibera? Uh hippo? I don't know what you're saying. The most dangerous meat. Um But yeah, so she's still like sort of pissed off. She goes to take a bath. Um and then this is where another were sort of like I think she had like sort of kicked his ass. They like actually had like a a knockdown

Uh yes, they have a they have a big fight. Yes. And uh that's where he says this Arthurian uh uh there's a hole in the wall'cause they just you know shrugged each other Call forth I shall craftsmen to fix this wall to morrow He says that to himself uh as she's like up and having a bath and he says Call forth craftsman tomorrow to repair right wall and go to local brewer to see about buying alcoholic free sangria, one of my special blend I call warrior sangria castle of the Niphrons of Zian.

So uh if describing it in way of shorter terms, janderphone That is not helping. That's the concept album is writing itself as we speak. Wow. Yeah, that really made me Warrior Sangria, Castles of the Near Fonds of Shine. Once again. The rush just immediately. Maybe Slayer has a song.

Uh yeah, I don't know. I I I I tried to listen to some Slayer this this summer, like mowing the lawn and I made it one the first uh song on the album Rain and Blood was just going into who's the mur the Doctor of Death, the Nazi Doctor of Death? Um

It was about him. And I was like, ah, you know, I just trying to, you know, this was a critically acclaimed album, and I'm like, I don't need this to be part of something I do for trying I'm trying to enjoy myself. This is not for me. Maybe uh there was a time in a But then we get to the first one. I mean this been red flag's galore with this guy. But man, do we get one here?

Rough stuff. Uh I don't get bef I think I know where you're going, so let me just get this in. I took them and held them in my grasp, luckily only moments shy of hope descending the sturdy wooden stairs. Your turn, wow nice. How long did this take? Well I guess my true question is how long in the I in the bath was? She was shocked by the work I accomplished. What is that?

German? Is that the syntax? How long I in the bath was? Throw the horse over the fence, a bale of hay, that kind of stuff. What's what is happening? Yeah, I don't know. They maybe Tatil calls on Degoba or something like Anyway, get to it. This is where he gets yeah, all right. This is incredible. Yeah. Um so she comes down, you're in the bath for two hours, maybe just a few minutes unclear. So then they smooch.

But he says to avoid any further advances I took my leave, making my way up the stairs and into the bathroom. The door shut quietly behind me as I stepped into the tub. The water she used remained in the tub. It was only common and sensible to use it twice to save fresh water for later. So yeah, you've got like, you know, uh gamers on the internet like selling their bath water to people like that thing, and this guy is a hundred percent on board with that, just reusing his mistress's bathwater.

It reminded me very much of I wrote a piece years ago that I used to read for speeches at colleges and stuff that was um Uh, it was uh the bridges of Madison County. And in the movie Merrill Streep gets into Clint Eastwood's used bathwater and does the same kind of horniness, like I couldn't believe he was here just moments ago.

And I went at great lengths to describe all this shit and oil and sebaceous fluids running through her back water and uh she finds this sexy anyway that it reminded it was precisely that like him going like mm Oh boy. It reveals too much about you, I think, if this is what you're doing. And also it's not been yourself. It's not been emphasized at all that that

fresh water is something that we're concerned about here in Tatiliqua. It seems to be a a land of of milk and honey and where things are plentiful and where if they're not you can buy it'cause you have all the money in the world. So Just like swords of meat coming to them every meal, carving off little bits for them. So yeah, they're not they're not hurting for anything.

Uh and then once you're done bathing in your mistress's bath water, you come downstairs Watch as she placed a half habanero pepper into a pan, of which now held de sizzling decent sized chunks of lean pork. Surrounded was the pork by fresh greens, onions, and as she finished glazed with olive oil from the bottom.

And this comes a uh a fan favorite sentence from this s uh section. White Beau, you do realize we will be having guests for tomorrow for both breakfast and dinner. She could tell I had no clue as to her speaking. Who might I ask? My voice muffled by the ever present mass of pork in my mouth. Speaking I did as I chewed. This is a major plot point. This should have been brought up. In sentence one. It's a weird character as he's pitching this to his family.

Fifteen year old kid. He has magic powers. He's like the guy in wo the vampire series, right? Who does that? Sure, those bitch and big uh He lives in a uh he lives in a pyramid. He flies around, he's got super speed. It's a nice touch. Uh sure. We could see this being a low rent rip. Well I haven't got to the point that I think is going to sell it. Oh he's got a cute uh Mexican girlfriend, by the way.

Is posing as a human. Oh, right. Because they're fifteen and there's no there's no sex. It's uh any light partying? There's light light partying. We can do that with a PG thirty. Right, right. Any any and all of this is cuttable. I'm just this I'm just describing the main character.

Oh, so yes, kung fu like the matrix. Kung Fu it'll be these lots action set pieces. Yeah, you can fish uh fish out of Lake Erie with his talons. That's weird, but it's okay. And of course he's like an anamorph. Yeah, and of course he has an ever present piece of pork and Great, yeah. So I think that you know I think it's got everything. It's got kicking, punching, ever so while he's punching and kicking, he has a a a honk of pork in his mouth. A mass of pork, you said. Uh let me check my yes.

Big man. Wedge down there. It's ever present, yes. But I t I talked about his battle suit, right? He's got spikes that come out. Sounds always spins around. Very you know. video gamey and let's do this. There's no video game character who is, you know, say rescuing the princess with a ever-present mass of pork. That's that's that's weird. I mean I think not only is it choking yesterday new, I think it's interesting. But like is it the same chunk of pork? It's been in there for a long time.

It's like gum that never loses its flavor, it is pork that never loses its flavor. But that first one is like a pretty Willy Wonka thing. Kids like that. Yeah. Kids like gum that would never lose its flavor. They don't want pork that never loses its grit. That's off putting and and weird. Agree to disagree. Now let's get to some of his Agree to not agree to fifteen thousand words and this is the first time ever present.

It's very weird to think back now you look at every scene and like when the two like the delegates show up, nay and he's got like a big I assume a big robe out the back and he Sir, we shall build a pyramid for you. Of course. Oh what? Four pyramid and four.

Of course, sir. I heard every word that you said. He may be eccentric, but he's the best. Oh my God. Well come before the council or poor. The every you want to go outside and finish first? No. In the castle of the nephrons of Jean in ten thousand years they'll have the the pork chunk underneath a Beljar dome to like you know that that's the relic of the grandmaster of a white bow.

It's like it's all like it's shriveled like a raisin, but you could Yeah, it used to be pork. Oh my god. Uh well Iris and Isis Psalm are about to be riding at six or seven. Um they get some mail uh that you know is brought by horse or if needed sooner by the Dryfon. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Um oh man, uh it's uh he he dreams Let's just skip ahead to uh the next day, I think. Bright like to breakfast, I think. Yes. Um there there's another

Can I describe the breakfast? Yes, please. Fresh eggs along with sausage found their way into the skillet. So I assume this is magic or something, thus to be cooked. So they could have marinated. As they neared completion, I added green bell pepper. Period. Along with potatoes into the skillet, comma, soon it was all finished, glazed with just a touch of olive oil. I portioned it into four equal parts. Quickly after giving thanks, we began to eat.

So thanking God? Who exactly here? Demons? I don't know. Yeah. Red uh what is his name? Red Bulb? Uh Isis's fork swiftly stabbed and picked up a piece of the mixture it entered her mouth. I could tell from the expression of her along with Iris that they enjoyed its taste. So the book stops. Uh you keep reading and you're going like what madness next? And it it's um And the answer is always breakfast. It's breakfast but it's also and now it turns into a lodge and it's uh

You know, last Christmas last Christmas they're going skiing, they're eating, they're sipping cocoa. I was like, Isn't there some big demon battle happening? Like nope. Breakfast with ISIS and A planet sized mass of demons are coming. Uh but no, it's a George Michael video from the eighties. They're putting on ski jackets and like throwing snowballs and laughing at each other. What

Uh yeah, I think it's just like one of you know, if you if you go to a in a movie if they're trying to convey that, you know, something is amiss, like they realize that they are eating people or something. If you show people eating, you know, really close up, it does look kinda So I think that's what he's that's that's what he's achieving here. I don't know if that's what he's going for, but it's really making the normal act of eating a meal seem very, very unsettling.

The slow so you like it, I see. The slow but forceful answer came from Mrs. Somme's lips. Yes, we it is very good, she finally managed to say. Uh and then so I think they go shopping, right? Yep, they go out to the Tila Tatilqual market of as Azurota. And here's uh this is unattributed sentences, so I'm I'm back.

Not to mention I need to buy a new bedspread. The one I have is okay, however it doesn't match my room. I also bought a new quill pen handmade by an artisan who specializes in top quality quill pens. White Eagle's voice was excited. Well it's I think like maybe he just pasted a sentence that didn't need to be there or Also attribute a quote every now and then so we can tell who's talking. Yeah, what'cause he's buying the quill pen'cause he's obviously he's a quill pen guy.

Like that's you know, you did need to say that. Um but yeah, White Eagle's voice, I'm not maybe she is buying the bedspread, I'm not sure. I also bought, so that was in the past. So they're talking about going to buy a new bedspread, and then he says, Oh, I also bought a quill pen. Handmade by an artisan. But I think he's he think he just zoomed into the future. Got it.

'Cause then they go to the market and he does buy a pen. He then describes himself buying the quill pen which he already told you he bought. Yeah, it's a five hundred dollar qu hundred quill five hundred dollar quill pen, one of the most expensive pens he's ever bought. Uh and he calls it the pen of the pure warrior or Ithrahil, Irath.

And then this was one of my favorite parts. He he purchases the pen and then he goes back home where a half finished book of mine called The Four Thrones is. Yes. And then he describes it to the reader. It's uh the plot to it and then he sits down, um

I began to write with the pen as Mr. Somm watched. I started a new chapter, chapter six, Prince of Archer. So there's another song title for the comp uh for the concept album. The pen flowed smoothly over the paper. It fell well, it felt well in my hand.

Cool and the refle replenishing breeze from the moving feather cooled my face. I finished one sentence and stopped to read it. He then gives us the sentence. I wrote one more sentence. He tells us the sentence. Quickly I shut the book. mister Somm has been watching the whole time as Unbelievable.

Uh they also by the way they stopped at the uh butcher's on the way after buying uh the pen. Oh they bought beef, correct? We quickly stopped by the butcher to pick up our order, then we returned to the estate and then so they Presumably they put the the beef away and then went upstairs and mister Somm stood behind him while he wrote two sentences. Yeah. Didn't say a word. And then they closed the book.

And then okay, so they get home from the market, he shows his buddy the book, and in that time the girls, as he he called them girls, which I guess they are fifteen, right? Okay. Have made it. Mrs. Som is older. Okay. Their son is They they have a son, so they're older. Okay. Well, could be. Yeah.

Ah, I was just about to call you down. We made something to eat, and I know it isn't dinner time yet, but I think we should all eat something after the long day at the market. Sounds reasonable. What did you make? I and Queen White Eagle made some beef stew. A simple meal but filling of which was good. Beef stew, replied Mr Som. I know you like beef stew, dear. Come and eat the both of you. So I guess that's her. His wife was a bit forceful, but what woman isn't? The stew was fresh, homemade.

Yeah, what? The use of fresh vegetables and well kept beef made the sweet taste sweet every bite as good as the first. Even when it cooled the flavor hadn't lessened the slightest. What in the fuck here?

They made beats too. They were like, Well your husband's up there. He's watching uh my my husband write with a quilt pen. We know this takes a while. What should we do with the meantime? I don't know, make beef stew? The stew takes like I think uh Julia Child makes it over three days, right? We'll just throw together some beef. But did she have well kept beefs? That's true. And then immediately after they've eaten the beef stew

We shall cook tonight. You girls did the cooking in way of lunch as we shall for dinner. So you finish a big bowl of beef stew. What is your first thought? Let's make dinner. Yeah, that is a uh it's a famous story in Bridget's family is that she had they they finally had some relatives over for Thanksgiving that they didn't normally have over. And uh one of them said as soon as she was done washing the last pot

Well, I could go for a turkey sandwich. Oh my god. And Bridget's mom like slam in cupboards like sliced turkey and like gave her a sandwich and like thrust it out to her like Eat Eat the sandwich Well, okay. Oh man. Yeah, let's uh challenge for everyone at home. Serve someone a big thing of beef stew and make them eat the whole thing and then say like all right, let's get started with dinner and see how fast your uh your the rest of your family leaves the house and leaves you all.

Ah okay, so this uh weird ski shopping weekend, stew making weekend continues with With this couple. Is is it so I guess if they're older is that Is that kinda weird? It is kinda weird. But I think they were the one asking for his help for the building of the temples of Cyrinx or whatever. So I think that they kinda owe him. But I mean Even weirder than needy the beef stew is what he does and we have to we have to keep to to summarize.

We are approaching like a really long podcast here. He gets news that a massive wildfire is burning six hundred acres of land within the US. Yes. I I had to look it up. Those like twenty twenty Humboldt County wire fires. Those were a million plus acres. So Six hundred is the very small courage. But so he he with quick directions he made his way to the state of California.

In his form of eagle. He puts out the wildfire and didn't wait for plaus or thanks. However, he does leave a check large enough to pay for the recon. He I hoped it was one of those like novelty like uh you know, scholarship checks or whatever, what you get when you win the lottery. That's what he meant by a check. Was this after he used the warp feather?

Uh no, warp feather is coming. Sorry, okay. Sorry. Uh oh no, sorry. Uh he is he he pays the feather and then it says the day was ending. I entered Tequila and then used the warp feather to warp to the capital. I then sped horridity home. Um he has mentioned his buddy Redfeather. He has not mentioned warp feather. Um I I just you know, it's it's something from Mario, like that's uh Used the warp feather. That was the first mention of it, I think you and I

Contacted each other offline. We're like, Wait, does warp feather did I miss it? Does he need a warp feather? What he has to fly faster than six thousand miles an hour? Six thousand miles an hour. Yeah, I it's a combination of Mario idea. Uh okay. And then I I guess we gotta skip ahead.

He mak the the he they men make the women uh sit there and listen to them play Ananu by Al Borada de Peru on the flute. Yes. Which I imagined like that scene in Barbie where the men like stare aggressively at the woman as they play. Yes. Uh and and then he does I think it's his first joke. We agreed and began playing. We didn't sing the vocals, I knew them, but it's kind of hard to sing and play a flute. So I was like, okay,

Uh and then this sequence which is a uh a head shaky kind of thing. I didn't dream any this night, which is what I kinda hoped. On the offside, I did get disturbed by Isis constantly walking down and up the creaky stairs to and from the kitchen. I think she had heartburn or something to do with that.

I know this cause. The full pitcher of milk now stands half empty. So the women in this house wake up and eat enchiladas and drink pitchers of milk. Something is off. I don't know. Maybe you shouldn't be uh sharing their bath water after all of this uh stuff. And it's an immortal god too. We should tell'em that milk doesn't it doesn't cure

Heartburn, by the way. It's the wrong thing to drink. The lactic acid only caused it to be a little worse. Well he says that's yeah, that's the cause. The full picture of milk now stands half empty. But I want to cause g draw your attention to this sentence which was right before ISIS got heartburn.

I didn't dream any this night, which was kind of what I hoped for. Let's take a look at the sentence right after Isis got hotborn. Around six I had a small dream, that of which was about a bridge crossing the front of Azura. So that's uh It can be one or the other. You really can't have no dreams and be happy about that or have a small

Uh then there's an argument about the size the cup size for drinking sangria. Oh my god, which is incredible. Utterly insane. I I can't I you have to read along. I can't do it justice. Let's read it. This is after he has told them I've read reports that both of you are part winged elves and human. Yes. Which again it sort of comes out of the blue, but I don't know what these reports are. Um and then he prepares uh he says he's got the sangria from the local.

And then mister Som says, Oh my goodness, I haven't had a finer cup of sangria in all my days. Do you mind telling me how big how the flavor becomes as it is? He enjoyed the sangria far more than his. Certainly after I make regular sangria, I then add plain grape juice to the mixture and just a touch more sugar. It gives it just a bit more of a bite in both bitterness and sweetness. Indeed, it does just that. He groaned as he took another sip of the fine sangria. Norman full

Oh, and if you don't mind my asking, sire, why are the glasses so small? I smiled, then spoke. It's one of my personal preferences. I only drink five ounces of a certain beverage. He smiled slightly, but sire, this is the non-alcoholic version. Yes. It is just I have a habit of using the small glass.

Well that's fine, but do you mind if I have a bit more? Also a bigger cup, like a mug would do nicely. I rose to my feet, taking one of my fine pewter tankards from the cabinet. I filled it with fresh sangria until it was foaming over the ri over the rim. Drink the whole bottle if you wish. I just advise you not to drink the last in the bottom. It is the most bitter of the entire mixture. Only the soil in the garden likes it. He laughed at that statement. What is it?

Is there any can you think of anything? Um I guess i he must have read this in a fantasy novel that we would not have read. Possibly. Something about two guys talking about Sandria or something? Foaming sangria. Is it supposed to foam? It's uh hm I take regular sangria, then I add grape juice and more sugar. Isn't sangria just sugar wine and fruit? So What? Uh it sounds like one of those uh stories you have to scroll past to get to the actual recipe for sangria there.

Wow. Okay. That was utterly insane. Okay. Well he then goes and reads forty pages of a book in uh one of his big soft chairs at a red w cherry wooden desk. No word about whether he's drinking pork Then he goes back and uh He goes back and they're sitting in the room and he says, Stand and present yourself, boy, I demanded in a slightly angered voice. He quickly took to his feet and then bowed before speaking.

Noel Somme, I decided to come and visit with my parents. I have been away for some time now. He still stood facing me. Well sit, make yourselves comfortable. I see you have haven't had trouble so far. I do, however, wish for you to address me personally next time you just drop by. I shall, sorry for the trouble, he responded. You two should know better. Make sure next time I scowled. So this is the son of like he just shows up? Well I they

There was something in the whole like world building army thing about like their son needs this army or they need the army. I don't know. It was just something they had a son. I don't know how he's there or what he's doing there. It says a new fake. When I entered Mr. and Mrs. Som along with White Eagle and a New Face sat talking as they sipped some fresh rose hip tea. Which we forgot to mention. There's a lot of tea. Um But so but they're son, but they say

Sorry about all that, but we want to make things up to you. We've ordered a slow roasted pig to be delivered here for lunch and some of dinner today. I hope you like pork, she added. I then smoked. Pork, that sounds good. I suppose it's here now, I questioned as I viewed a man on a horse riding along the road of the guy on the horse. Brings roasted hog for delivering We took our seat next to the Somme family in White Eagle. The pork was done to perfection, seasoned just dried and not too salty.

Who had it stuffed down his pants? The heat radiating from the cooked hog only added to the searing heat. My eye caught a bead of sweat flowing down unopposed along Hope's face. I then knew just how hot and humid it truly was today because she rarely sweats that much. We ate for about an hour and a half. That's the second t meal that's taken an hour and a half, I think? Her omelette also too. Hello. The roast pork delivery guy comes on a horse. Yeah, just got a gunny sack over the shoulder.

It's like those guys that used to sell meat out of their trunks in uh in San Diego. Oh yeah, your neighbor gets a delivery out of that but they're not home, so like you want uh I'm not buying meat. Let alone a whole roast. Referring to it as a hog too. He's just sort of off putting as he's doing it. Also off putting the fact that he's evidently keeping a sweat journal for his mistress. Oh, she rarely sweats this much. This is interesting.

Really gonna improve the consistency of the bath water tonight. Uh really quick once when I in San Diego I was just moved into a new house and uh we were unloading and the garage was open and the meat guy came by and he's like, Can I do the my meat demonstration and I'm going, No, I'm not buying any meat. Do not Do the meat demonstration for me. I'm cleaning the garage. And he goes, I I'm just trying to practice. Can I just do the meat presentation? And I go.

You can do it. I won't be listening and I'll be sweeping the garage while you take your meat out. And he's like, sounds good. And he set up a table and started talking about the meat. And then he gets to the end of it. He goes, So how much could I put you down for? And I go, I'm not buying any meat. And he goes, Well, fuck you Well sorry and he starts slamming his stuff. I'm like, What are you talking about? I could not have been more clear.

Oh, m exact same thing happened to me. It was me and my it was like we were twenty two, first, you know, few months in San Diego. Pacific Beach had just, you know, you know, pretty much like just passing the bong back and forth and uh the meat guy knocks on the door and we're like, Oh no and he does the whole thing and like we're twenty two, like we're clearly not buying this meat and just sitting there like watching him do it.

Mo like and he's like, uh dude how much can I put you down Well what a week. We didn't ask for this we didn't want to for the door to door meat guy. What are we supposed to do?

I'm glad we both had this experience. All right. All right. Let's wrap this thing up. There's one more sentence I want to focus on that's a misspelling but it's very funny. Little was heard. Otherwise I however oh sorry. Little was heard otherwise. I, however, aware of the storm, lay awake thinking about the peacefulness of the

And the clam. The clam last few days. Oh, I missed that one. The thinking about the clam really could keep you up at night. I would love if that was actually the uh evil force in this one. And Anything else before the last uh the way this ends? Uh no, I just have so many dumb sentences that I think we can't even cover all of it. It ends with uh one more meal. I sat in the kitchen watching Hope Cook Dinner

She cooked well, and much to my taste her foods were always alive with flavour, and yet a slight spice to them as well. To night for dinner she made Mexican rice and chicken burritos covered in a white cheddar sauce. It was very good and contained ample amounts of chicken, peppers, and drowned in cheese. Contained and drowned in cheese. So today the past two days he ate breakfast several times, read a book

Put out a wildfire, ate a pig and then ate burritos. Yes. That's that's what happened in this chapter. And a beef stew. And beef stew, yes. There's a beef stew interlude and a moose boosh of beef stew.

Holy crap. This has to be the longest we've ever talked about about it. I'm sorry, but this is so nuts. I looked at my notes, I was like, I don't think I've ever had this many notes. I even I there was a I went to the dark web and we gotta say I did I forgot about it and I can't think about it anymore. God's do some dumb sentences. Uh no uh w we we gotta we've gotta come up with a new sentence. Yeah, that's right. No sentence song this time, folks. Getting dinged on Spotify. Um Um let's see.

Ah, here's the dumb sentences from our beloved Patreon listeners. Let's see what we've covered a lot of these, but let's revisit our greatest hits here. Amanda submitted. I politely took both our plates and started to walk back to our table. I had forgot to mention my crippleness, I soon figured out. Uh Janelle submitted, thus it was followed by a light deep voice, as demonstrated. Sarah submitted, I know of the engagement and marriage of these persons.

She said that's what she thinks every time she sees a couple post weeded a thing on Instagram to announce Sarah Uh Claire and Justin submitted one of your favorites, blood pressure good medicine good Nolan submitted the mail travelled by horse or if needed sooner by way of Nirfon. Uh he said it reminded him of the sentence, In the middle of the night Willow off good rode the back of a dragon. Which is how Shadow Moon starts.

Uh Chris submitted a adjacent one to Janelle's Well I guess while we are on the subject I am crippled and legally blind. He said and this is another one, not since the mother from the room exclaimed I definitely have breast cancer Was there a non sequitur that had so little significance to the plot? He should take w she should take one of those pills, uh um he gave the doctor. Do you know the mother in the room's name?

Any listeners out there, do you know? I know I don't remember Claudette. He's the one time great. Oh hi Claudette. Uh Harrison submitted the smell of grilled beef, sausage and other meats, of which were gently but lovingly glazed with a smoky barbecue sauce filled the air. Scott submitted I held back the sadness apparent in my voice. He questioned how it was apparent if he held it back.

Mike submitted, I walked back to the ICU and entered her room, the IV sticking from her hands, and the oxygen mask made her look awful, but I knew she would be fine. Mike said, I hope the IV would be sticking into her hand or she not from her hands, or we may not be as fine as she's hoping w she's assuming he will be. Alejandro said uh She ate carefully watching not to spill or rush too quickly. My guess is so she wouldn't look like a pig in my presence.

Sweating while she ate the pig though, he was okay with so uh sweating while eating, not a good look. Uh Nathan submitted a very short one. Omelets, nice Uh Elliot submitted the creamy sweetness of the milk and chocolate mixture passed over my tongue, cooling my body as it cascaded down my throat.

Uh Jeffrey submitted the food was coming along well. I had put the chicken into the oven and prepared the lettuce for cutting. My knife wasn't sharp enough, so I used my claws. They were always clean due to being laced with plasma. Harrison submitted, she led again for a few more songs, after which I led again, but felt I did well by the time we left the club it was cool, dark and cool outside fireball.

Outside sat fireball awaiting our return. I just wondered if he sat there the entire time or winter did something else. He said this one dumb sentence contains five dumb sentences. Conn submitted the girls went to look at well, whatever girls shop for, as did we. That was while he was buying a quill pen.

Andrew and Jacob submitted I paid for everything and this small woman of a waitress showed us to our table a place in the far left side of the building. It was a booth seat by one of the tall oval shaped windows. Mark submitted the day now br Mark is the guy who submitted the book. Mark th the day now broke and I felt the warmth of the sun on my face. It was Sunday. Chillicothe is where I wanted to go, but I knew I had to prepare for the first day of the new season.

Yeah. I guess that's the that's the lead of the book and that's all the madness to follow. Jim submitted she got s she got some chicken too, but also an enchilada and rice. Dave submitted, you know, anyway, we're going to have food like burgers, hot dog sausages and other things, salad cakes, all the usual stuff.

Neva submitted, it's a dance with fast paced movements and passion, something which was incorporated in many Spanish customs. That's uh salsa dancing, and she said uh clearly a fax king aficionado. Valentari submitted the others stayed behind to help clean up. I did, however, leave a check large enough to pay for the reconstruction of the homes and land loss. They wondered, a check made out to whom exactly? Paid to order of victims of wildfire?

Jackson submitted the flavor is very apparent and the cool tomatoes make it great. Thanks, honey, the food's good. That's what you're gonna say to Bridget later. Mike submitted Yes, I want Sylvia Ball. There are three uh commas in that uh five word sentence. Uh, Amy submitted, I made my way to the wardrobe putting on fine clothes, consisting of light tan colored shirt and pants with my initials on the chest and fine boots, comma of the same color.

Philip submitted, I gestured her to give me my plate, and thus I began to eat some. A sum being food he Uh Alex submitted, I guess oh this is well I guess my true question is how long I in the bath was and he said he really fell into the Yoda syntax in the second chapter and that is also one of the few sentences in the book with no commas. Craig and Daniel both submitted it, who might I ask my voice muffled by the ever present.

And one of them said that was page forty eight of the book, I guess, according to the case. And a and Hayden submitted. Pork, that sounds good, I suppose. It's here now I question as I viewed a man on a horse rail. He just said Oh what did uh you have anything left? Uh this is a sentence all by itself. The language of the people as well as their reaction to the odd couple, comma us. Um I'm just gonna go through them quickly. Uh setting behind me to the left of my window and read over it.

That's a sentence. I wasn't present to do other things like training and my human life. Wow, that sounds like a a surly teenager. Uh I assume she knew as the smell of olive oil filled the room as I began to put on my shirt. Wow, in isolation, that's gold. Oh, this one's too long. I'll skip that. The warm tea kissed by the fresh sugar cascaded onto my tongue destined only to fall into my stomach.

As my body became motionless, my mind became again active as I entered, as I seemed to do a lot the realm of dreams. Wow. Yoda syntax. And my final one. Instead of a massive wave, I force the water to come up through the ground. T H R E W. Thus it smothers. I have like five more or so anyway. I've got a few more. We then left for class. She had no classes with me at any point during the day except lunch, so the end of which came all too quickly was unpleasant to both her and I. Uh uh.

Standing before me was a man by whom I hadn't had any idea of his origin. And then uh the last one is smile I did at the thought of her viewing the clothes. Wow. Oh, I'm exhausted. Oh, that is a lot. That was a long reading too. But Yeah, it was it was twenty thousand words which It's not that much more than what we usually do, but it felt very well I'm excited for the rest. The next chapter begins with the Realm of Eris. So it's all in bold, by the way.

Oh. Well thanks everybody for supporting it. Thanks for Mark for recommending. Thanks, Jackals. If you have to listen to this in pieces, sorry, it's long. See ya see you all. Bye.