Life is a crisis. Life is a crisis. Life is a crisis. Should we start? Speaking of life is a crisis. Life is a crisis and welcome back to your favorite crisis coping skill. I'm Clarissa. I'm Courtney. And this is 30 D &D. 30 Dirty and Dying. Did you almost forget what it was called? No. Okay, we've been gone for a minute. We had to take a little break. Yeah, because Corny was lost at sea. Into the ocean. End it all! But it didn't end. Well, the cruise ended and I was
sad about it. Now she's back. Now I'm back. Landlubber. She's a landlubber again. Yeah, I guess. You don't love it? Land? Yeah. No. I love cruises. I didn't take my Wubbutrin the entire week and I didn't cry once. This I would just like to remind everybody that take your medicine. Nothing you hear in this podcast is medical advice Please don't do anything. We say if you're medicated continue the medication. I however just suck at taking pills Which I need to talk to my therapist
now Do you I'm afraid to throw up? Oh, yeah, then you do a Forgetful thing I was like same but I've never been like I need to bring this up in therapy No, but I don't have to take mood altering drugs yet One day I'm hopeful. They've always been like, let's try organic stuff. Not organic. That's the wrong word. But you know what I mean? Like, yeah, not not pharmaceutical, like make me try and fix my brain parts. Some of it works. Some of it doesn't. I don't know.
I've just this is life and I'm living it. And so are you out there if you're 30 or 30 ish or late 20 ish and it's getting weird. You found the right fucking place because it's always weird here. It is it is and we're gonna embrace that today with a real talk We haven't done a real talk in a while, but we do love our real time.
It's one of our favorite things Yeah, and we thought we'd come back swinging And talk about like our ovaries and shit Yeah, yeah, why don't you tell them what we're doing today Courtney Other than what I just said About ovaries and shit? Yeah, tell us about your ovaries and shit. Biological clock. Yep. We're coming to that age. How we feel about it. Yes. How we feel about kids. How we feel. Do we feel pressured? True. And we'll we'll get to that. But first, we're
going to go back in time. Whoa. We've never done that before. We do it every week. Let's go back Back in time alright 2012 the year that the world was supposed to end and it should have I saw something recently that was like it did and This is a new timeline and that's why the Mandela
effects. I don't remember the Mandela effects ever being a thing but Don't know Also, it's just like maybe this is just a nightmare like a dystopian nightmare that we're all experiencing Millennials because the world did end yeah in 2012 perhaps even y2k and This is just in our in our brains because we're trapped in some sort of weird Science fiction purgatory. I don't know. I never watched Star Wars, but How about a so 2012 the world ended? But in case it didn't I
was in high school still I Was in college. Yes. Yes. Tell me what your life was like in 2012. Um, I Don't remember anything past yesterday. Um, that's not true We do back in times every week and you eventually get there every time. Yeah, so in 2012 it was my 10 11 11 12 sophomore junior year Okay, so like smack dab in the middle of college smack dab in the middle of college. I think at that time, I stopped talking to Bob. It was a magical year. No more Bob. That's I
hope that's why the world didn't end. Like they were like, you know what, we're gonna give her a real shot. Because she's really just fucked up the last five years. But we're gonna we're gonna let her try. So you can thank Courtney.
For the world not exploding in 2012 if in fact it didn't I'm going I'm going to try to go back to my instagram exclusively because I feel like I've said what I posted in 2012 a lot it was stupid it was whatever I'm sure we'll talk about it again, but I don't feel like loading Facebook right now So I'm going to talk about what was happening in my life in 2012 on Instagram I don't have much so I might bleed a little bit into
early 2013 here with my post. Okay, because I got my first I got my Instagram for the first time in December of 2012. Okay, so very end of 2012. So I have a picture of my dog. Fuchs. Yep, Fuchs who is still alive and well as of recording this. Just woke up from a nap. He's on his ottoman. I got Cheeto in 2012. Amazing. Look at us. Pets. I think Fuchs was roughly like a year old or something. I think we got him in 2011 or maybe
2010. Okay, I was in high school um and then I got I got a picture of our Christmas tree that year I mean is it Instagram if you're not posting pictures of Christmas trees Especially with the black border around and a very weird blown out filter really weird filter I mean you can barely fucking see the tree That's how it always went another picture of my dog under the tree duh looking cute as fuck You can also kind of see an ornament that I made in first grade Me it's
in a wreath. We used crinkle papers I'm pretty sure my mom still has all that but she doesn't she doesn't put up a Christmas tree and she puts up a like a mini Christmas tree now Yeah, and she she puts on like one ornament a year. I also posted this Haters gonna hate it's a it's a it's a panda. It's a panda meme panda panda panda like a broads in Atlanta Man, I posted I really made the most of December I posted this thing that my teacher drew on the board about intrinsic
identity. Deep. Yeah, I know. I'm pretty fucking deep. Mostly this is my dog. Also, I drew a picture of a doodle I did of Michael Buble as a radish. When I was probably like in chemistry class, you know, just. Oh, this was 2013. I'm looking on my Instagram. Oh, yeah. It's you. Oh, no, it fell. I remember that that was January 2013. Oh, man. I love that. However, oh, this was also January. It's okay. We're just me and you making cake pops. Yeah, this was right before my grandmother
died. Oh, no, it's cool. It's fine. It's okay. Oh, no, no, we've told this story. So my grandma, my meemaw, she died in January of 2013. So she was She had cancer. So like she at some point toward the end obviously because that's when
they let you go on hospice. She was in hospice at my house So either toward the end of 2012 and obviously into the beginning of 2013 and she died at the end of January So I didn't go out much, but I did decide to go out with you and our pal Iggy, is that what we've called him? Yeah, I know we were out with Tina I don't know if you've ever given her a name, but it's the
first thing that came to mind. We were out with our movie theater pals, and Kourtney and I made cake pops, and then we went laser bowling, and it was really fun and cute, and it was a nice way to distract myself. And then what date was that? When did you post that? Like actually? I posted it on January 19th, 2013. She died like six days later. Um, I have some very interesting pictures. Okay. 2012. Yeah. I mean, you can't,
I went bowling again in 2012. Listen, it's like all there was to do around here at the time. So a picture of me and my bowling shoes with a rounded edge border. Those are the only ones I use. Yes. With the black frame and the rounded edge. Um, also just the bowling balls. Mm. Hot. Yep. I like to use those pink ones. They were too heavy for me though. I had to find sixes or eights because I weak bitch. No, me too. But I like to use the pink ones and I would have
to use both hands. Um, our favorite pretzel bites with cheese, pretzel bites with cheese. That's what I feel like if you look at anyone's Instagram in like 2012, 2013, it was basically just a really close up shot of one item. Yes, weirdest border and there's such a weird no border on this and no filter on this well good to know it was pretty much an ad because it was when we first got them Yeah at movie theater and then I ate them and I it was like our new pretzel bites hashtag So
good hashtag movie theater hashtag. Yum. They were good. Wow. Look at you fucking marketing queen. I Made cookies. Yeah, and I made a monster cookie and I posted a picture of that. It looks kind of like a meat pie Well, I put it on a pizza Uh, yeah. Pizza pan. But then I also made regular cookies. Good for you. Yes, I said - Ooh, the apples on the kitchen decor. Man, that was - Grandma. There's just something about - Cheeto on Christmas! Look how tiny he was! Oh my god.
Cheeto is the OGPodcat, and he made his grand entrance. In 2012. So honestly, that's the best reason. Happy birthday, Cheeto! This is officially your birthday podcast. I don't know when your birthday is but we know it was in 2012. Oh, he's got a hat on. Do you know what this had to have? That's so cute. And then my artsy picture for the snow. Get you it's so we had this decoration like they're what are like tree bulbs. Bulbs is what we call them. But they were outside.
Oh, like the big ones. They were like the big tree bulbs. I got you. They were almost like they were like blow up like a bouncy ball material. That sounds fucking fun. So that's what we're outside and had still on top of them. And that was the picture. And I titled it White Christmas. Wow. No filters, I don't think. 2K12. 2K12. What are some other? Oh, this was Do we have any lucky charms my least favorite person? Yeah, he was in my 2012 era. Oh Horrible time horrible time.
I hated this man. I Don't understand. I don't understand. Well, it was definitely the end of 2012 that I stopped talking to Bob because I posted this picture of My camera app and that's his head Yeah, his fucking spoon face. He looked like a spoon. Look at this picture. Why do I look so pretty? You always look pretty. Oh, thank you. Very close up selfie. Very close up selfie. Definitely edited. Oh, 100%. Your skin looks like the snow. Well, I'm very white. No, but
it's like too smooth. It doesn't look like a person. Yeah. Like I can't even see your birthmarks. The neon. The neon green. It was a time. It was like that cool story bro shirt with the neon. I had that shirt. I know you did. With and I think the picture that you showed me of it and I believe we've posted this before. I was wearing it with green zebra shorts. Yes. It was that time. It was the time. And then this is my bedroom with my zebra print bedding, my green walls,
and I had zebra socks on. It was a vibe. It was a vibe. That was my whole personality. Apparently, I think this is why as millennials, Some of us struggle with Interior design because we went through so many eras and meanwhile like our moms and grandmothers were just like the whole kitchen must be fruit And we're like the whole wall must be zebra, but also like neon purple Yeah, which is still a vibe and I do it now I don't see the problem, but look how tiny she was I can't get
over it. Oh my god What a little bean was was a bean. Do you want to know some other things that happened in out in the world pop culture? Yes, please. Because I'm just going back to this and just getting nostalgic and this look my laces for my shoes. They're green, bright green, bright green. This is the bright green episode. Well, breaking dawn part dose came out. Oh shit. Yep. So I almost when I made the color already made the collage when we'd settled on our thing. So
I'm using that. I almost made it the picture of like for breaking dawn where they hold up Carlisle's head. But then I thought it would get flagged so I probably used a weird voluntary guy the way when I first I Do you have the text messages that I sent you as I was watching that part? I mean, I'm sure I do but I don't I mean it because that would be so funny It'd be a lot of scrolling. It's been years in the making if you want to hear that It's we definitely talked
about it on the Twilight episode. So yeah Reverse it go back to season one Yep, yep And listen to Courtney tell the story about when she first watched Breaking Dawn and the Carlisle moment. Oh my god. That was wild. Just like holding up his head. Also, big song that came out and was very poppin' was Starships. We're meant to fly, hands up and touch the sky. Let's do this one more time. Higher than a motherfucker! Also, I think Taylor Swift red. Oh shit. Is that the
album name? That's an album. Yes I kind of remember it. I don't I never listened to Taylor Swift until let's find out the track listings I'm sure there are the only Taylor Swift album that I have listened to from start to finish is torture pose apartment I listened to some of it. We did an episode about it. You can also go find that Yeah, it came out in 2012 red And then we're never ever getting back together. We are never ever ever getting back together. Uh, begin again?
I don't know that one. I don't know. We'll have to phone a friend and it'll have to be sissy. Yeah. I knew you were trouble. I knew you were trouble when you walked in. Go me to places you've never been. Now we're lying on the cold hard ground. I watched that edit with the goat like, I can only hear that I can too. And I'm not I like the song. It's a fine song. When I listen to the song, something's missing. It's the goat. It's the goat is missing. And I think I think
she already rereleased that album. Did she yeah Taylor's version Taylor's version but in she what she should have done when she redid that song Collab with goat collab with goat. Absolutely 22 you like that one? 22 yeah, I guess I don't know if you like it, but you stim and sing it a lot, so Hey, hey, oh that was terrible Oh Catfish, the show started. Was, hold on, but the movie came out first? Yeah, the movie came out like 2010 or 2011. Okay. And then the show MTV, they
did that in 2012. Okay, I watched the shit out of that. Oh my god. Do you know that's still going on? Yeah. Like how can you still be Catfish knowing Catfish is out there? I don't know. I don't know. Here's the thing. I'm gonna, I'm gonna say something controversial because why the fuck not? I love it. Okay, do it. So when people are like on Catfish and they're like,
I'm in love with them. No, you're not. If you've never fucking met him, I thoroughly don't believe that you can fall in love with someone without knowing them meeting them Like via the internet. I don't think that I think you can have an affinity for a person But I think you're falling in love
with an idea of them. Mm -hmm You can fall in love with an idea of a person, you know, but you can't that's why fanfiction works You can fall in love with the idea of a person over the internet because you're filling in gaps to make them exactly what you want and less human. I'm not saying you don't like them. I'm not saying it's fucked up when you find out that they're not real and they're 45. It's very fucked up and and how dare they but also you're not in
love with them. Don't send thousands of dollars to a stranger. Baby don't do that you know or anyone really but like you're not in love with them. It's just I don't but I love catfish and uh maybe one day as a society we will learn but until that day Neve is around. Neve is there for all your catfish needs. Yeah. I did. Does he have a new co -host yet? Because like Max left obviously a while ago. And is that one girl for a while? Cammie. Yeah. Who I love. I loved
her. I think they had a great vibe. But she just announced she was gonna leave too. So I don't know. I don't know if there's been an announcement. I cannot tell you the last time I actually watched it. I never watched the episodes with Cammie. Oh, I did. I watched the episodes. I haven't seen all of them, but I saw most of them, I think up until I watched them through quarantine where they were just like assaulting people via zoom,
which was so fun. I mean, if they're not gonna like get on a phone call, or they do some of them do. Okay, I don't know. There's some I guess I have not catfished anyone. I bet Pete catfishing time was 2020. Of course, because people are lonely in their homes. And like, they were asking for money. There was a lot more of like the money situation. Yeah, seasons. But like, I've never catfished anyone. But I feel like if I get a DM from me even was like, we need to zoom with
you right now to prove it, I would do it. Yeah, I'd be like, yes. Hello But I don't think I've not watched too too many after that point At least not in order to where I can say like the whole like where they're at with it now But so I mean, I'll definitely keep watching it though. I mean is he still doing it after his accident?
I I guess I mean they haven't canceled the show I don't know if they filmed recently like I don't know where they are and the whole filming schedule But like like where they were at season wise with all that so I don't maybe max will come back Mean they're like best friends. I love kindred souls. I love max. He's such a dick his peppered hair. It's not pepper He's a full -blown silver fox. Ah, and I love it. I Just like that how he's like you see how that's ridiculous, right?
Like I live with max You would I do yeah, I'm max your neve Hey Thanks for listening to 30 Dirty and Dying, the show for millennials by millennials. We get real about chronic illness, burnout, nostalgia, and why we aren't exactly thriving. If that sounds like you, join us every Thursday for new episodes. Now back to the show. Um, so today we're doing a real talk about, uh, biological clocks and ticking. Um, we talked about TikTok, TikTok, TikTok. You were so dedicated.
Your face got so serious. We talk about like the pressure to have kids and stuff in season one, but obviously it's been a couple years Yeah, we're older now. Mm -hmm. And we thought it's worth revisiting and talking about again because it's it's one of those things that You might be totally confident in your decision I don't mean that but like why you're making your decision and your lifestyle probably continues to change and evolve and you gain some new perspectives,
so we We're no exception to that rule. So we're just going to talk about it. You know, now that we're a little bit older, we're both 30 plus. And the idea of taking biological clock basically is boiled down to as a woman. gets older starts to feel maybe an increased pressure to procreate because Society says that you should and there is that there is the thing of like once you're after a certain point like you're Geriatric pregnancy. Yeah, I think if you're pregnant post 35, is
that it something like that? It's technically called a geriatric pregnancy. There could be complications whatever but really I think it's I think mostly I did a tiny little bit of research to like where the term comes from this. Okay. And it it's essentially attributed to like, because you only have like a finite number, assuming everything's in working order, and you know, whatever, you only have a finite number of eggs in your ovaries. Like you're born with however
much you got. And then they deplete wish I had none. Huh? I said I wish I had none. Oh, I thought you said which I had none. I was like, Well, that's a fun trick. How'd you get more? Because you can, I mean, you got what you got. And in general, they do start to kind of decrease and you know, you've been losing eggs since whenever you started your period. So your numbers start to deplete a little bit, and hormonal stuff starts
to happen. And it just becomes can potentially be a little more difficult to conceive for some people. So I think there's this pressure of like, well, I really need to get on that. If you know what I mean. Yeah. You got to get on that. But you got to get on that. In order to get on it, you got to get on it. Unless you don't want to get on it. Yeah, I mean, maybe it's in the doctor's office or something, but you got it. Something has to happen. Yeah, something's got to be put
into something else. Yeah, somewhere, somehow someone I don't know. But so we are both child free people, childless, child free. I don't know how you want to put it. You're definitely like child free because you have decided and kept your decision strong that you don't want to have kids. Correct. So just, I don't know, talk us through that a little bit. You know, obviously you've always had this position. If they go back and listen to season one, that was your position.
But how has it stayed constant and what are some things that have You know gone into keeping it a constant decision as you've gotten a little older Well how to keep it a constant is might got a vasectomy That's also why I thought it would be a good time to talk about this because well No, because it's like it's at a certain point you do just if you're making your decision and you're staying confident in it you you do Permanent type things like no, we're definitely
not doing this and you guys recently made that choice. Yes So what just what went into making that choice and you just talk us through the whole thing a little bit Um, I mean, I feel like the older that I got the the less I enjoyed Being around kids. Yeah, like I love my nieces like I love my friends kids like I want to spoil them I'm the fun and it doesn't mean I don't hate children. No, but you don't want to have your own. I don't want to be around them all the time.
Yeah. Like, in spurts, when I get to spend time with the kids around me, that's fine. Yeah. But
like, in small amounts of time. Yeah. Well, I do think there's a difference in like, I don't think anybody who likes or who doesn't want kids just has to hate kids no but i feel like that's what like people think yeah it's perpetuated hard yeah it's just like okay so you don't want kids do you hate them um but also i have a lot of reasons that i don't want to be pregnant specifically okay um i have a phobia of throwing up you do uh and i don't want to risk potentially throwing
up and i had this conversation with someone they're just like well it's not like it's not a fact that you're going to i'm like but i'm not going to take that chance yeah because i don't want to throw up that bad hey whatever my friend ali every single day of her entire nine -month pregnancy it didn't stop at the first there's a condition i almost said first semester It didn't stop at the first semester. We're so removed from this process. But no, there's like a condition, right?
That like, it makes you really sick. Morning sickness. Yeah, but no, there's something where it's not just the first trimester, where it's like you're sick the whole time. And sometimes you have to be hospitalized. I think Amy Schumer had it. Like I watched her documentary that she did. And I think she had that. It was really bad. Like she had to be hospitalized like several times for... dehydration and yeah, it was bad. So I mean, it can't it's a real medical condition.
Yeah. And I just I don't I don't want to risk it. I don't want to risk the potential of throwing up. Yeah. But also the idea of pushing it out of me. Disgusting. Right. So then but a lot of people would say it's magic. No, fuck that. That's all I was gonna say. It's a miracle of childbirth. Yeah, it's not a miracle. It's a medical crisis. But no, what I was gonna say is a lot of people would hear that and be like, okay, but you can still be a parent and not be pregnant. People
do surrogates, people adopt, whatever. So then it really isn't just about not wanting to be pregnant. You also have no desire to parent a child, right? Um, that's where I think the disconnect is for a lot of people. Yeah. So people think, I mean, if people think it's selfish, then that's
fine. Of course, it's selfish. This is my also but also having a kid like when people say who's gonna take care of you and your older that's not that selfish Yeah, I agree with you people having kids can be selfish and people not having kids gonna be selfish But this money that I earned
I want to go on a cruise. Yeah, I don't want to be held back by a kid I don't want to have to like I can barely take care of myself I'm not mentally well ever and I'm not physically well That's that's important to think so and also like I also have all these metal like all of these medical conditions Yeah, I have alcoholism in my family Mike has Alzheimer's in his family Yeah, like it's like why why would I want to potentially pass these things on to someone else?
I think that's fair like Crohn's is genetic. Yeah, it's such an like they can get it They can get like alcoholism like the all of that like it's fucking genetic it's like and it skips generations Like not on my team. Well on mine. So like my grandparents parents. Yeah, grandma was fine My mom. Yeah, not okay. We're fine. My kids are gonna be alcoholics bummer for them No, like I get it. It's not fact. But it's possible. But it's one of those things. I'm just like,
I didn't ask to be here. So why am I going to make someone else be here? But in this in the world, the environment that we're in right now, like everything's shitty and unknown and like traumatic. Yeah. And I'm like, why would I want to? bring someone else in this world. Fair. No, I think that's but honestly, and this is the thing a lot of people are gonna hear the who who want kids or who have kids or whatever. I'll be like, Well, there's never a good time. Or
that's all true. Or I don't feel that way. And that's fine. That's totally fine. But that this here is the difference, right? Because they want kids, or they're okay with having kids, or they have a drive to have kids, or they enjoy the kids they have. And then there are people who just don't. So those things matter more to the people who don't because it's like these are
part of our reasoning. and then it doesn't matter to you and that's okay because then you want to have kids and that's i'm not saying you're a bad person because you brought a kid into this world right now no but it's like if i don't really want to don't pressure me to do it exactly and i think that that's really what it is it's not this thing of like everybody thinks the same way and people are just deciding that it doesn't matter obviously people who want to have children
think about it a different way as they should because they want them yes unless they want them for Selfish reasons. I do think there is this thing of like there Then this goes back to kind of like the topic that that prompted us doing this today There is this bite that biological pressure of like feeling like you should procreate.
I do think that happens there there are times where I'm just like Maybe yeah, like and then my brains like no exactly get a little like panicked like oh my god I'm like should we do this should we have had a kid should I have a kid? I'm 30 should I have it and then I get a little panicked
like I'm running out of time Mm -hmm. Oh my god, and then I'm like now I don't really care like I've never been as Set in it as you have been for for longer like I'm I'm not definitely opposed to having a kid but I also don't have, I've never had this like drive to be a mom. I've never felt like I want to be a mom. People talk about that all the time, women especially, like I really want to have a kid, I want to be a mom, it's all I want to do. And I respect that and that's
cool. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that. And I know people that are like that and they're great parents. Yeah, and that's fantastic. And I love that. And those kids are gonna be great. Yeah, and I know people who didn't feel like it and then they're good with it, they're happy with it, it's okay. I've, and they developed that drive to like, yeah, I definitely love being a mom or dad or whatever. I have never felt like this need to be a mother. I just don't feel that
need. I'm not saying I couldn't do it. If it happened, I'm not saying if I if I did have a kid that I wouldn't get into the swing of things and I wouldn't love it and love every second. I don't know that. Yeah. But I just. Every time that like biological pressure comes in, I'm like, oh, my God, should I have done this by now? Like, I'm getting old and my eggs are shriveled and deviled eggs in there. But then I'm like, I don't know, I don't really if if I go through and and
I they're like, okay, well, it's over now. You can't ever do it. I don't think that's gonna break me. You know what I'm saying? I think about
that. That's a good I'm glad you said that because there are times where I've and like am i making the wrong decision yeah totally but then i i'm just like if i never do i will not be unhappy with that choice that's what i'm saying exactly like i love the life mike and i have right and i love knowing that we can do what we want together and like we have our family of the two of us and our cats and dogs yeah and that's why i'm not i'm not unhappy yeah that's how i feel like
i'm not i don't feel unfulfilled because we don't have a child of our own there's nothing i don't feel like there's anything missing i'm not saying it wouldn't add and there wouldn't be great things yeah if it happens but like i don't feel like and i really never have i don't feel like we're missing something we're not doing something where our relationship doesn't have something or my personal life just as an individual doesn't have something Just don't feel that and I'm sure there
are people who do like I said Those are probably people who have no always known I want to have kids I want to be a mom and I want to and I just don't think everybody has that and I think that's okay. I would rather Be a little bummed out and low -key regret that I didn't have a kid Then have one because I think I'm supposed to and then really regret it like Billy is here And now I got to deal with Billy and I low -key hate
him. Yeah, I don't think that's gonna happen No, but I also would hope that you didn't name your kid Billy. I'm not no no, maybe a girl You know what? I like it. I like that. Yeah, not a boy though. I just it's not it's my go -to like Random person name Billy not in my book. So don't worry. I come up with better ones But no, it's just like I would rather Be like a little bummed out that I didn't do it Then be really bummed out that I did and then there's you can't
take that back. No, there's a human being here that needs me and I'm like, you know what? I don't really like this. This sucks. I mean, look at my parents. I'm just gonna look good for mine. Oh, no, your mom. This is also something my mom has never pressured me to have kids. In fact, she's done the opposite. She's been like, please don't get pregnant. Please don't get pregnant. And then she she said a lot. She's like, listen, I didn't want kids. And she didn't. I was accidental.
Yes. And she said, I enjoyed being a mom. I loved being a mom. I love being your mom, but I'm not a kid person. I think I, you know, I don't think I would have done well with like other kids, a lot of kids. That's why I'm an only child part of it. Like, and she has said, she's like, listen, don't let anybody pressure you into having kids. If you don't want to do it, probably shouldn't. But it's just having a real view of it. She's
like, it's, it's going to rock your life. Like, yeah, and it changes everything changes every and they can change relationships. Yes. Like, do I think that Mike and I can withstand? Yeah, that addition to our home? Yeah, probably. Yeah, but it could. It can come like I see so many people like really struggle in their relationships with their significant other after having a kid, because they no longer focus on each other and their relationship and they only focus on the
kid. Yeah, and then their needs and feelings are left to the side. And they are no longer feeling fulfilled. And that's why people get depression. Yeah, one I think too. It's like some of that is natural, right? But you gotta be ready to dance with it. You gotta be expecting that hey, this is gonna be a lot. This is gonna affect us. We need to be ready to withstand that we need to have things that and I'm not saying if you didn't have that when you had your kid
that you failed or something. That's not what
I mean at all. I'm just saying it's It's something to think about if you don't have that like I definitely want to do this Yeah, and I know that my whole life my mom has been like listen do whatever you want But like I didn't want kids and not in this like I low -key wish you were never born way but just acknowledging that it makes a big difference and you know, my mom was really young when she had me too and my dad is your dad really something else and You know,
I can just tell you right now. I doubt that they would have stayed together if I was not born. You know what I mean? My parents didn't say together when we were born. There you go. Mine didn't eventually. But but a lot of people do have that thing of like, I want to have a family. I want my kid to have their family. It affects a lot of things. I'm just it can really change the trajectory of your life, which can be really
great. Or really bad. Yeah, and it just depends on what you're ready to dance with and am I do I want to risk that? No No, I like I personally think that we would do it, but we've also me and Justin I mean we've talked a lot about like How we would parent and how we would do certain things and go through certain things and I think because it's not a priority for us to Have our own kid together. It's like we can Kind of unpack it and potentially be somewhat prepared now.
I know when it happens, you're not Everything kind of hits the fan I get that but because it's not something we're actively trying to do We're also not kidding ourselves into scenarios of like everything will be fine, right? It's just kind of very real and honest because it's not something that we're actively trying to achieve but we've had a chance to really unpack what it might look like. And obviously, yeah, he has a kid. So he knows some stuff. I've learned some
stuff. So it's a little bit of a different situation than just like nothing. But not really. I mean, for us as our own couple, I'm saying it's it's
just it's just not a priority. So yeah, and I feel like also like Mike and I have finally gotten to this point, like in our careers, to where we don't necessarily have to live paycheck to paycheck yeah which is nice and i don't want to stop that yeah and that's fair people who are like that's selfish well fucking duh it's how am i not supposed to be selfish a little bit it's my life right I have to get through this fucking thing, right? You tell me I have
to wake up every day and do the damn thing. So shouldn't I get a little bit of choice in how I do the damn thing? Yeah, like, if we want to go to work tour, we're gonna fucking go to work or we don't have to get a babysitter. I want to sleep until two because I did. I did, you know, yeah, I when I'm not I want to sleep in on the weekends. Mike doesn't have things planned.
Exactly. I think when you've lived a certain kind of life, especially like a childhood, that's been Maybe not super stable or or you feel like
you were not Able to be very selfish. Yeah Like I feel like and I've not been through as much as some people whatever this is Olympics, but like I had a rough start especially to my own adulthood like I had I had a rough like early 20s and Sometimes I feel like I set myself back a little bit because of some things that happened with my mental health and then just Who I was associating with and whatever I could go on all
day. But my point is I'm really enjoying living my life for me Yeah, you know because I don't think I really got to do that In a way that was
fulfilling. I'm not saying I didn't make self decisions I'm not saying I didn't do things for me and to you know spur my life forward but there was a lot of like Anguish there and there were some things that were not I wasn't able to feel fulfilled Because it's what I wanted and live the life that worked for me I was kind of putting myself and being put into boxes To try and succeed in a life that really didn't work for me for a lot of reasons whether that's my mental health
whether that's just like what I enjoy and how I want to live my life my views on things whatever and I'm finally getting to do that, you know and Don't think that I would be one of those people who like everything has to change when I have a kid because I'm a little older and I'm a little established but also I'm not ready to risk that because I feel like I haven't had enough
time to just Be me. Yeah and be in my life and do what I want to do for me who you want to be be a RBI me, you know, oh, yeah, I mean childhood wise. Yeah, I mean, I like both my sister and I grew up too fast. Yeah, like we didn't get to have a real childhood. Yep. Because we had to take care of ourselves and take care of our parents. Yes. And like, well, yes, we did have support with like, our grandma and like, Amarillo
Uncle Doug. Yeah, like we had people there to like, make sure that Like it wasn't like a five -year -old taking care of themselves. You know, I mean, I wasn't a dateline episode. No, no We had support we had help but like it's different. Yeah, exactly. It's different and I Don't know. I don't want to subject a Kid to that. I don't think that's gonna be me and Mike obviously, but like I also Grew up too fast and I just want to have a good time Yeah, I'm here for a good
time. Not a long time. That's exactly what I'm saying I'm enjoying being able to have a good time and pursue things and just kind of be unapologetically me and I'm not saying I couldn't do that with a kid, but I know things might change and I don't want to be a parent that's like Super selfish.
I want to be able to to be what my kid needs while also be myself And I don't think I'm ready to toe that line and maybe I never will be yeah some people Maybe you're not ready when it starts and you fucking you get ready because there it is. Like I don't I don't know that my mom was ready. She was she got ready. She figured it out. I'm sure you can. I'm sure you I don't know that I want to have to do that under that kind of pressure. And if I never feel like I can,
then maybe that's my answer. And I feel like I'm OK with that. Yeah, I don't. Every time the biological clock thing happens, I really do.
It's the same thing of like. moment of panic like oh my god I'm 30 I always said if I was gonna have a kid I should probably get knocked up before I'm 30 here I am what do I do now and then what if I can't and then it's like kind of okay with that yeah what if I can't oh well oh well you know I think I don't think that would matter to me And that's where I come down on the whole biological clock scenario. Yeah, it happens. It ticks. It gets scary for about 45
seconds. Yeah, I remember that it's like just not that much of a priority. So it's okay. Yeah. I mean, there's been a couple times where I looked at Mike and like, do you do you wanna? Yeah. And he was like, no, I was like, thank you for really being back in. Yes. That's all I needed. So with him deciding to take the plunge, if you will, and get his dick cut off or whatever. I'm kidding. I know what a vasectomy is. I just like to be a dick. But with deciding to do that. Well,
it's reversible, technically. Of course. Yeah, I know. But I'm just saying, like, I'm curious, like, I know you can't speak for him. But like, what's that been? What was that decision like as a couple of like, coming to terms of like doing something quote unquote permanent and you knowing for sure you're on the same page there? There was like almost no discussion. He was like,
yeah, I'll do it. You asked him to do it. Well, we just like talked like especially Recently when things for women were being taken away true true Mike's like yeah, I'm gonna do this which is great for him. Yeah way to go Mike. Mm -hmm He's the best. Yeah, we've talked about it when we're at this age what it's like we could still We might still be fertile But we don't know myrtle.
Yep we don't want to do it right now, you do have to start making kind of like game time calls of like, okay, well, maybe we should do something about this. And you guys did. Well, I also because I was considering getting a hit tubes, tubes tied. Yeah, I was a hysterectomist. I talked to my GI doctor about that, because like, they're still going into your stomach. They're still like, yeah, and you have cutting in all of the things. And he was just like, well, you'd have
to make sure that you're not inflamed. Yeah. And do I want to risk potentially getting nicked? Or like, obviously, they do these things all the time. But like, there's a higher chance of like a complication because of my Crohn's and because of my inflammation. Yeah. Well, for women, and for people who have like their reproductive organs internal, yeah, it's a bigger surgery. It's like Mike was awake. Yeah, maybe this is another reason why I don't want to have kids.
I don't need I don't want everyone looking in there. Get away from me, dude. Because like part of me is like everyone's down. I'd rather it just I think the goal for most people is to be able to do it naturally and just but that also seems like it's gonna hurt. I think if by some weird thing that happened that I have a child. I think I would rather just like schedule a c -section and call it a day. Me too. But people are like, oh, but the but the recovery is bad.
I don't care. I don't think I care either. But this is also the thing. I'm talking about this, like a total dumbass because I haven't experienced it. I've never had a surgery. Well, I've had colonoscopies. I've never had any. But I'm asleep. I've never had a surgery. The most I've had is the... I mean, can they really count colonoscopy as a surgery? They just put a camera up my butthole. I don't know. I've never had one. I've never
had any kind of surgery. I think it's considered a surgery, but like, they're not cutting anything open. They're just up my butt and into my colon. Yeah. So I think it's okay. It's definitely fine. It's fine. I don't think... Like I haven't had like an action like a surgery beyond that. Yeah, I've never had anything. Um, so Like fuck me for talking about it right for being like, yeah, just cut it out. Who cares? Like I don't know
anything about anything. Um I did hear though that when they do that, they'd have to take your organs out and put them in bowls And I don't like that. Yeah, not wild. I don't like that idea, you know, like what if They like go in there, right? Yeah, and I have like They find that I have like cancer on my something. But that's that's more about this. This is my hypochondria coming out. I have that kind of hypochondria where I always think I'm dying, but I don't want
to do anything about it. Same. I'm scared to death of going to the doctor. I'm scared to death of having tests. When I have blood work, I like I like hyperventilate. It's bad. And it's not because I'm scared of needles or blood. I don't give a shit about that. I'm afraid that they're going to tell me I'm dying. So I don't go. Unless something is really really bad and even then I'm like, do you think I'm having an embolism? Do you want to go to the hospital? Absolutely
not. I just want to know if you think I'm having one That happens at least once a month here Justin loves it. I'm sure he yeah, he's like, you know what? I said, yes, I'm just putting you in the car and we're gonna go to the hospital. I was like, never mind I'll never tell you again. I'll just do it. I'll die impromptu obituary that says I did this because of you. Jesus Christ. Yeah, we should have a kid for sure. They should
hear this. Well, this was fun. We just we like to have our real talks and you know, they can't ever get too super serial. Never super serious.
Just a little cereal. Like to have fun. Real talks can be fun if you're honest and you're willing to cope with some humor and just not care what people think about what your opinion on this is and that's kind of like where we come down so we wanted to have this conversation hope it helps you be more open about what your thoughts and feelings are whether they align with ours or whether they don't it's totally cool whatever your whatever your reaction to that tick -tock
of your biological clock is you know the party don't stop i was more thinking of hunger games tick -tock tick -tock i've never watched hungry games oh really no oh But I think this was a fun conversation I like talking about this kind of stuff and if you do too You should definitely listen to all of our real talks and make sure you're following us wherever you podcast Spotify Apple podcasts Amazon music Google podcast I don't fucking know wherever you're at wherever
you're at right now Hit the little button and we'll be there and you can listen to us. Yeah, we're back, baby We had to take a little break baby because Corning was lost in the ocean, but we found her. It's cool. She's back For now. Yeah, if there's anything particularly you guys want to hear from us, you should let us know because we're at one of those. We're near the midpoint of season seven. So we're kind of reevaluating what we what the excuse me what the rest of the
season is going to look like. So if there's anything in particular you want to hear, but it's also our favorite thing. So we're going to choose our favorite things anyways. Yeah, but you're welcome to throw ideas at the table. Yeah, because it could be our favorite thing. Yeah, you're you guys are our favorite things. Very true without you. We wouldn't have this we would not so also keep an eye out for all the fun stuff We're doing maybe merch We're still gonna do that this year.
Yeah Yeah, she was in the ocean you guys mermaids attacking her it was a whole thing pirates. Yeah the Caribbean I was in the Caribbean dolphins whales sharks, etc Alright have a great day guys, bye! Bye! This week on Shitbox, everyone's fired!