Hello! Hey, y 'all. Hey, y 'all. It's 30 Dirty and Dying. I'm Clarissa. I'm Courtney. And this is your favorite millennial podcast. Or it should fucking be. Yeah, it should fucking be. Yeah. Can you believe that we are getting toward the end? of season six already. That's crazy. I know. I feel like we just started podcasting yesterday. I kind of do too. Like I feel, well, but especially this season. Yeah. Like it's, I didn't realize when we were planning out, like, spoiler alert
guys, we pre -record these sometimes. We're busy bees. Yeah. Me specifically. But when I was like doing the, okay, how many more are we going to record this time? Blah, blah, blah. The dates, they come out. I was like, are you fucking serious? We're already like - Are you shitting my dick right now? Yeah. We'll only have a couple episodes after this. And I was like, has it already been 20 episodes this season? Wow. We're getting close.
So if there's anything else that we haven't covered for you guys and you want to hear it, you should tell us like literally right now. Yeah. Cause we'll plan it. Yeah. Or it'll just happen at the beginning of the next season. Yeah. So you got to tell us so we can plan ahead. Cause I've have, I've had a plan for, to have like a specific someone on here and it just has not worked out. Yeah. So maybe next season. Maybe next season. I know. Time got away from us. But we hope you
guys have been enjoying this season. We've been enjoying it. Yeah, we've been having some fun. We've been doing some fun things. And today we're going to do another fun thing that we've literally been talking about since the beginning of the season, I think. But also I feel like the Hear Me Out cakes. Yes. Have been all over TikTok. Although by the time this comes out, it might have like. So it's on Instagram Reels, which is where I am. And it's probably where a lot
of you guys are, too. I think my favorite... So, like, the Hear Me Out cakes are meant to be characters and people that are not supposed to be attractive. Yeah, not conventionally. It's not conventionally attractive. But a lot of people are still picking, like, conventionally attractive people and or characters. Yeah. But this one guy put the number eight. And I'm like... But I get it because it's like butt or boobs. Yeah. So like. She thick. I'm just like, now that's
not conventional. And I love that for you. So now I can only think about the number eight. I don't remember which video this was, but somebody put a Subway $5 foot long meatball sub. And I was like, honestly? I mean, it got the balls. Yeah. Or the curves. Yeah. The sauce. Sauce. Whatever you're into, it's got it, you know? It's not $5 anymore. No, it's like $40. If it were $5, that would be sexy. Yeah. But now, like... It's hot to be cheap. That's why I love Little
Caesars. It's hot and it's ready. And it's cheap. So hear me out cakes are a big deal. So now I did pick somewhat conventionally. Yeah, I didn't try to be like weird and different. No, but some I did. So we're doing sort of our own version of a hear me out. Basically, we're just going to go through fictional characters that we find attractive. We've both made lists. Yeah, I feel like the majority of mine are animated. I kind of split it half and half. I tried to draw from
our - 90s and 2000s. Yeah. Which is what I did. I have a couple of outliers, but mostly I tried to think nostalgic. Yeah. So when we were having our awakenings, if you will. I didn't really - I didn't really. I - Okay, I was a late bloomer, like, actually in my real life, but I remember I was finding characters and people attractive. Yeah, like that horse. No! I'm so sick of this
fucking spirit slander. I - Because I like Spirit, Stallion of the Cimarron, the film, and more so the soundtrack, you try to make it seem like I want to fuck that horse. And I don't! I have never found - Speaking of fucking horses, let me add that to my list. What the fuck? No, continue your statement. I have never found Spirit the horse attractive, not even as a young child. That's not why I like the movie! Stop doing this to me! This is slanderous and a lie. Stop saying
that. Spirit is not on my list. Are you sure? Yes! Now I'm upset. Well, you've just lied to yourself this whole time. I've never once said that horse was hot. Not once. You edit these podcasts, so you could have said it, and I remember you saying it, but then you took it out. No! This is fucking bullshit. I'm already mad. This is gonna be a great episode. I'm so fucking mad at you now. Anyways, you wanna go back in time? Yeah, let's go back in time. Back in time. Alright!
We're in 1995. It was a better time. I didn't know you. And you couldn't slander me. I was only four. I was only one. I have some things that happened. I have some things that happened. Hey, did you know the FDA created the first, or approved, sorry, the first chickenpox vaccine? Nice. I had chickenpox prior to that. I had chickenpox after that. I don't think it really got rolling. Michael Jordan announced that he was ending his retirement from the NBA. So he came back. He
only retired for like a year and a half. And then he came back. Faux fur and platform shoes were some of the biggest fashion trends. Boots with the fur, with the fur. I loved platform shoes. Platform flip flops especially were my fucking shit. Yeah, it was Spice Girls. Yeah.
I had so many pairs of like the thickest. cheapest rubber platform flip -flops with the bedazzled strappy straps oh shit okay i got a dazzling oh yeah i love glitter you know i have the skin of a killer and i have a pair of platform jellies now i fucking love them i wish they made jellies like Legit. The real ones, yeah. The real jellies. I loved jellies. I loved jellies. But I got a pair of platform black jellies on, like, cider, and I fucking love them. They're in my car right
now. I wore them to a concert, and I really fucking shouldn't have, and so I took them off on the drive home, and I just haven't come out of the car. Nice. I have to wear real shoes so little, so they've just stayed in there. Yeah, you don't have to wear shoes at home. No, I don't. I mean, I have a pair of, like, house flip -flops, but I rarely wear them. O .J. Simpson Trial, your favorite? Yeah. Your favorite man, O .J. Simpson Trial? No, shut the fuck up. See? You do this.
You have a pattern of slandering me. I'm kidding. Mad. You know what one of the most popular films was in terms of, like, revenue or whatever? What? Toy Story. Oh, yeah. Yep, killing it. The Macarena went viral. Yep. Hey, Macarena. Selena and Jerry Garcia passed away. That's sad. You want to know some words that came out? Or that became, I guess, part of vernacular. Noob. Noob? Yep. In 95? Yep. Oh, shit. Instant messaging. Oh, man. Lawyer up. Just that term. Because of OJ Simpson? Probably,
yeah. Slacktivism. Like, activism, but not, like, passively. Oh, like, so you're slacking about it? Yeah. Okay. I would say I'm a slacktivist. Uh, yeah, so it was these words all appeared in print for the first time. So maybe they were around, but they, um, fast casual. Okay. Livestream. And mom jeans. I love mom jeans. I don't like to wear jeans, but if I'm gonna wear jeans. Mom jean. Up to my neck, dude. Give me overalls, they're better. Uh, Brad Pitt was named People's
Sexiest Man Alive. Ooh. I get it. He was twice. Well, he's... Once in 95 and again in 2000. Wow, good for him. I have the cool food and beverage trends. Okay. Yeah, so I don't know that these came out, but this is what was popular. Blue M &Ms. Okay. Specifically the blue ones. I gotta fuck the other colors. Gushers. Oh, I loved it when it gushed in my mouth. I bet you did. Rice Krispie Treat cereal. Okay. Snap, Crackle, Pop. Mm -hmm. We know them. We love them. Jell -O
cakes. I'm not sure I'm familiar. I don't know about Jell -O. I know, Puddin' Pops! Gross. We used to make Jell -O cheesecakes a lot. Like, no -bake cheesecakes. They sell that. I mean, I have used... So, like, I made, like, an angel food cake, and I used Jell -O in it to flavor it. Yeah. They had, like, a Jell -O no -bake cheesecake, and my mom would buy that a lot and make it. Yeah. And this was probably in, like, the early 2000s. So, but that's the only thing
I can think of. Yeah, I don't know. A flank steak. Okay. And the Keebler Fudge Stripe cookies. Ooh, those are good. Yeah, I like those a lot. You know, I don't often buy those types of cookies. Me neither. If I'm gonna buy cookies, it's usually like Oreos. Yeah. Like an Oreo or like, um, I have to really be in the mood for a specific kind of cookie for me to buy a cookie. I don't know if it's because I'm a grown -up or like... I buy ones that, like, Justin eats and, like,
takes to work and stuff. But, like, for myself, I don't know. I'd rather just buy cookie dough and just, like, make cookies. Yeah, we do that a lot. I buy a lot of, like, the, there's this, the brand sweet Loren's. I don't know. They're gluten -free and they don't fucking taste like it. They taste delicious. Nice. And we buy that cookie dough a lot and I'll bake cookies. But, like, otherwise, that's kind of it. I'm rarely in the mood to just eat cookies. Match .com came
out in 95. Ooh, I love that. I know you usually do this. I feel like I'm encroaching on your territory, but I found the grocery prices. Tell me. Bread. Parentheses. Wonder. I bought Wonder Bread the other day. Really? I haven't bought it ever. Yeah, Mike. Hey, can you stop and get white bread on the way home? Yeah. And I'm like, if I'm gonna go white bread, I'm gonna go all the way. Well, hey, I wonder why. You know? I wonder why you would buy anything else. I'm just
trying to make taglines. Oh, okay. Good for you. Was it good, as you remembered? Um, it's just white bread. Yeah, it's fine. I don't buy white bread a lot. Like, whenever I buy bread. We buy the honey wheat. I'll buy, like, multigrain. But I don't buy, like, a loaf of bread very much. I just did because we're going to make spaghetti and I like to make spaghetti sandwiches. But I buy the keto bread, like the Italian one, just so I can eat more spaghetti sandwiches and not
feel bloated. Yeah. But if I buy bread, I usually buy, like, a loaf of sourdough or something. Like, I don't buy a lot of just regular sliced bread. Sourdough's the best bread. Yeah, something like that, though, is what I'm doing. Anyways, how much is it? Wonder Bread? 99 cents for a loaf. Well, I'm pretty sure I spent like almost $5. Yeah, that's about what it is. Bananas. Three pounds for a dollar. Whoa, that's bananas. Okay,
I'll do a couple you can guess. Okay. A pack of cookies, Chips Ahoy, for a one pound package. This is a range, so tell me how much you think that would be. Uh, $1 .99. Oh my god, exactly. $1 .99 to $2 .29, depending on where you are in taxes and shit, but yes. Eggs. How much for a dozen? 69 cents. No. Fuck. $1 .16. Beef. How much a pound? $5. $4 .99. $1 .49 a pound. Jesus. That's like $12 now! I know. A pack of Ritz crackers. 99 cents. $1 .99. Fuck. Alright, we'll do one
more, one more, one more. A package of ballpark hot dogs. A wiener! A wiener. Actually, probably like six. $2 .99. No, way less. Oh. $0 .89. $0 .99. Fuck. Yep. Anything else for $0 .99? Drew Barrymore, Flash, David Letterman. Ah, yes. Amazon. Amazon. Amazon. Get in the zone. Amazon. Sold its first book. Oh. I guess good for them. Douglas Hofstadter's Fluid Concepts and Creative Analogies, Computer Models of the Fundamental Mechanisms of Thought. Okay. I wonder if that's on Kindle
Unlimited. Doubt it. Anyways, I'll do the final thing that's honestly the most important thing that happened in 1995, let's be real. OJ? No, no, no, no. This is the most important thing that happened. Okay. Pizza Hut launched its stuffed crust pizza. Ugh, I love stuffed crust. I watched this TikTok where this one guy, I think he works at Papa John's, but he was making stuffed crust pizza. Yeah. And he used, because it's essentially
mozzarella sticks that they put in it. He did three rows of mozzarella sticks and then he put extra cheese on top of it. And I'm like, how can I order this right now? Don't give me his ad. I'll blow up my whole life to try and get with him just for the pizza. Sorry, Justin. But you're not giving me triple stuffed crust. Yeah, you're not stuffing my crust. Not with triple cheese. No. I love stuffed crust pizza. It's the best. And no one out pizzas the Hut. Not
sponsors, but it really fucking could be. We love you, Pizza Hut. It really could be. I also like Papa John's. It's better now. I think it's better than Shaquille O 'Neal took over. Well, like, so Papa John's was, like, grandma's go -to. Yeah. So, therefore, I enjoy Papa John's. We had it a lot when I was growing up. It was my dad's favorite. Our family, we were Hungry Howie's Pizza. You've said this before. We were Hungry Howie's Pizza, and then we became Papa
John's Pizza. Yeah, because they stopped existing here. Yeah, rest in peace. It's still alive. Yeah, it's somewhere. Just not here. Me and them both, you know? But, no, we, so, I don't, like, hate. Papa John's that much, but it's just not my favorite, but I'm very used to eating it. Like, if it makes more sense or I have a coupon, I will definitely get it and not hate it. I like the Papadilla. I've not had that. But man, Pizza Hut, if you're listening, thanks for the stuffed
crust in 95. You're the best. You da best. You da best. Thanks for listening to 30 Dirty and Dying. We really appreciate your support, and if you want to keep up with everything we're doing, both on and off the air, you can find information at the link in our bio on TikTok and Instagram, at 30dirtyanddying. We've got affiliate links if you want to support the things
we're doing outside the show. You can get in touch with us, find playlists that we've made, and everything else that you need to keep up with your favorite millennial podcast. Now, let's get back to the show. Should we talk about our other things we're attracted to other than Stop Crossed Feet? First on my list of best pizza. I didn't even think about food. Well, let's not go there. I'm gonna fuck this pumpkin. Today, like we said at the top, we made lists of fictional
characters that we are attracted to. Some of them are cartoons. Some of them are real... Live action people. Mine are mainly cartoons. Yeah. Mine's a little bit of a split. So we're just going to go down this list and chit chat about it and share these deep dark secrets with all of you. This is our hear us out, even though they're not all like crazy. No, a lot of them are conventionally active. So why don't you start? I'm excited to hear yours. Okay. Goose face.
Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Just the costume. Not. Well, see, here's the thing. Both of them. Like, in the first scream. Yeah. I'd fuck them. You know? Absolutely. They're both conventionally attractive men. Absolutely. But Ghostface with the mask. Yeah. Even better. Choke me like you hate me. Oh my god. Oh lord. Forgive us. Okay. Um. Okay. How to keep talk. I agree with you, right? But then you made me not want to. So my first one here is the corpse bride. Okay. The actual bride.
Okay. I think she's very attractive. I would deal with the worms. She's just hot. She's, you know, she looks good. I love the color blue. It's really her color. I like that I'm starting with a female character and I at least claim to be straight. I have a couple female characters in here. I have several. I have mostly men. Yeah, I have mostly men, but I also have a couple.
Yeah. And she's one that I think would probably be one of the most hear me outs in terms of like, not that she's unattractive, but she's a dead drawing. Yeah. So. I mean, if we're going to go with that, I'm like females. Yeah. She go. On my list as well. Yeah. I'm not going like straight down the list, but she was the first one I put. She was the first female that I put. Also that. I'm a big fan. She's so hot. I mean, the color of her outfit, her skin, her hair.
I love her upper lip. It works for her. I thought it was the lower lip. Whatever. I don't even know because she's so hot. I can't even tell. But then just her personality, too. She's such a bad bitch. All around wonderful. But I also feel like she's probably a really good girlfriend. If she loves you. Yeah, I think so. I feel like she's probably really attentive and nice. You do another one. But I just did Shego. But we agreed about Shego. She was my next one, too.
Okay. Darian from Sailor Moon. Oh, okay. Fair enough. But also from Sailor Moon. Sailor Mars. Yep. I actually know exactly what you're talking about, so maybe I agree. I love that. Okay, I'm gonna go also animated again. Okay. And this is where it feels wrong to say this, but I'm gonna. Spirit the horse? No, shut the fuck up. Moses in the Dreamworks, the Prince of Egypt. Okay. Why is that weird? Because it's Moses. It feels weird to put Moses on this, but it's
specifically the animated version. And I also put his wife. I like them both. Do you remember what they look like? No. Okay, let me... I specifically really like him while he's still the Prince of Egypt. Okay. So the main character. Yeah. Moses. I didn't know that. I never watched it. It's literally called Moses, the Prince of Egypt. So look at her. Oh, shit. Yeah. Right? Both of them. Yeah. I'm like, so those are mine. But again, it felt weird to type Moses on this. So
go ahead. Genie from Aladdin. Okay. So partially it's because it's Robin Williams. I got you. But also, I'm not mad. No, I get it. I'll just jump right off of that. Jafar? No, I'm afraid of him. There's a picture of me at Disney World when we went to Disney World when I was a kid and the big characters and Jafar and I wouldn't stand next to him. My parents wanted me to take a picture with him and I'm like, he freaked me
out. I don't know. But I do have Jasmine and Aladdin together and I literally wrote it like that. So what I'm understanding is you want to be in a threesome with these couples. This is the thing, I guess, but I really don't. Like, that sounds terrible in real life to be in a threesome with anyone, but. It's just too much paying attention to two people. Yeah, I don't want to do that. But also, like, I find Aladdin very attractive, but I also find Jasmine very
attractive. Yeah. So why would I, I mean, and I find their dynamic together very good. Jasmine and Aladdin, it feels right to be together. Yeah. What about the monkey? Absolutely not. Shut up. I can come in with a genie. So, God, how many people even is that? Five? A five -some. That's too many. That's a whole hand. Nope. Hit me with another good one. Trunks from Dragon Ball Z. Show me. I'm not remembering. I need to know. I'm not going to say the child one because they
grow. The adult Trunks. Oh, okay. Yeah. I mean, I don't get it, but I know who that is now. I'm about it. I'm not about it. I don't know if it's a purple hair or what. Like a mop that went to the gym. I was about it. Yeah. I'm going to switch up and go to a human being. Okay. And this is also not in the millennial timeline. Okay. I'll go human next. This is very recent that I've discovered this character that I'm in love with. Okay. I know you've never watched Peaky Blinders.
Nope. But for everybody out there who is, who has, Alfie Solomons from Peaky Blinders. He is played by, um, what's his face? Tom Hardy. Oh! Okay, but here's the thing. Tom Hardy is fine. Yeah. He's the attractive looking guy. But I'm not, like, super duper attracted to just him and everything else he does. But the character. Yes. Okay, so this is him. He's a Jewish, like, gangster. Mobster. Um, he's so, he's just like a He's a big dude. I mean, he is anyway, like,
like strong, big. He has one of those accents. I guess it's a Cockney accent. That's like, well, it's ridiculous, but he's just so funny. And he's, he's so hot. And he walks around with like a cane. He doesn't need to. And he always wears this big old hat. And he has psoriasis in like, that's part of it. His character has psoriasis on purpose. I don't know, man. He's hilarious. He's hot. He's I'm all about it. And he's, yeah, but he's relatively new to the list, so he's
not, like, nostalgic, but I like him a lot. Dan Connor from Roseanne, the dad. Wow, okay, here we go. Here comes the cold water. I kind of get it. You know what episode for me is when he finds out that Jackie's husband beat her up? Yeah. Then he beats him up? Yeah. Yeah, that one. In that moment, absolutely. But there's just something, like, he's like a big, like a bear. Yeah. You know, like, cuddly bear. Like, he's funny. Yeah. I get it. Yeah. He just seems like a good dude.
Yeah. I get it. I'm about it. I mean, not all the time, but I can definitely understand. Um, Zigzag from Holes. Okay. The one with the hair. I really like him. I don't know why. I just, there's something about him that gets me. Also, I love his part in the song. Because he's the one I think that goes the, you got to go dig those holes. See, I have armpits memorized. Yeah. A -R -M -P -I to the T. What is that? You smell a dog? That's me. I don't take showers. I don't
brush my teeth. All I do is dig holes, eat, and sleep. Yeah. No, I watched it relatively recently, too. And I remember really liking Zig Zag as a kid. And I watched it recently. And while, you know, in all appropriateness, I understand.
why i was about him i don't know he looks weird he has a nice voice it seems like he could get real the alternative i love that so it's exactly from holes okay also i'll just sigourney weaver in holes as the warden yeah whoo the rattlesnake venom just that i don't even know if it's about her if it's about the fact that she painted her nails with that rattlesnake kissing k barlow you know not really for me but sam i can fix that well obviously yeah you can i mean i'd love
him as burton guster as well psych i'm sorry i didn't know the same guy i'm sorry but i think he's very attractive so yes okay so my next i'll put human again okay steve from blue's clues but also adult steve now oh boy makes me feel supported and good yeah He looks good. He looks good. He looks good. He sounds good. He seems nice. Yeah. I would like to meet him. But not Joe. He was never really my fave. He was not Steve. Nothing against him. No. Sorry, Joe. You
just aren't as good as Steve. Yeah. Not my fave. So back to drawings. Shang. From Mulan. The main guy. Let's get down to business. To defeat. The Huns! You know, I would love to make a man out of him. He's so hot. I remember being very attracted to him, and still. Yeah. That's a hot guy drawing. Oh, wait till he's so hot. I mean, he's as swift as a coursing river. He has the force of a great typhoon. I don't know. I can't get the word straight. But, I mean, he's a lot of great things. He's
mysterious as the dark side of the moon. So many pros. So many green flags. Yeah. And he can really twirl his baton. And he can fight. Yeah. Okay. Danny Phantom. I want you to talk about this one a little bit. Why? Just because, like, I don't get it. And I didn't watch that show very much. Okay, so here's just 14. When his parents built that machine. Because it was built to view a world unseen. He's going to catch them all because he's Danny Phantom. Specifically when
he is a phantom. Okay, so not regular guy. Not regular teenage boy. Because as an adult, I do not find that attractive. Well, good. When I was a teenage girl. Yes. I was about it. And now I look back, I'm like, I really liked it when he was a phantom. Yeah, so you wanted to fuck a ghost. Second one on your list. Ghost face. And Danny Phantom. I can understand. I do remember because it wasn't his hair white. That's a look. That's very like, I'm Draco Malfoy
in a jumpsuit and I'm here for this. Oh, I should have put Malfoy on this list. Oh, shit. How did I not put anyone from Harry Potter on my list? Yeah. Okay. I get it a little bit more as the Phantom. I think I was picturing him more as the teenager. Yeah. So, I have another ghost on here. Okay, hit me with the deck. Well, not really. So, Space Ghost. From Space Ghost Coast to Coast. I'm not familiar here, Courtney. I'm sorry. Oh my god. That was an oh my god as both
I suddenly remember this now, but also why. He looks like a condom. He kind of looks like a thumb. Yeah, why? What is it about that? I don't know. I just, I think he's Okay. Maybe it's the body? Oh, this picture is not as bad. I almost think it's, what is going on with his crotch? I didn't even look at his crotch. What do you mean? What's wrong with his crotch? It's fucking wide. Well, good for him. Okay. What a ride we've
gone on here. Thanks for listening to 30 Dirty and Dying, the show for millennials by millennials. We get real about chronic illness, burnout, nostalgia, and why we aren't exactly thriving. If that sounds like you, join us every Thursday for new episodes. Now, back to the show. I'm going to add a few right now just from Harry Potter as honorable mentions because I can't believe I did not. Yeah, I didn't do any Harry Potter either and I'm kind of upset about it. So Draco Malfoy, obviously.
Sirius Black, obviously. Severus Snape. oh yeah absolutely you did that was great that was so good um someone there's a tiktok of course there is oh i don't know if i can find it it's been so long but i commented on it and i was just like yes daddy he's like he's got this like elder emo thing That I really, as an elder emo now, I'm like, oh, hell yeah. I just wonder if they commented, if anyone liked my comment, so I can, like, go back to it quickly. Specifically Professor
Snape, when he says, turn to page 394. Oh, yes, daddy, I will. Turn to page 394. Whatever page you want me to turn, I will turn to it. Turn, bend, whatever you want. You want me to worship the Dark Lord? Okay. Yeah. I'll do it with you. Light me up. Put the thing on. I will throw my whole life away. I feel really bad. Also, Fred and George Weasley. Big fan. Liked them. But yeah, Snapey Snape. Snape. Snape. Severus Snape. Dumbledore! No, not Dumbledore. Not about it.
Doug Dimmadome. Owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome. You have to show me this. You don't know who Doug Dimmadome is? No! You can't picture him. Doug Dimmadome! Courtney. His hat. Are you fucked up with Colonel Sanders also? Because his hat just grows, you know? It's, like, his whole, like, persona. Okay. You sure you're not gonna say Dumbledore next? No. Just, like, elderly men? What other elderly men have I chosen? None, but that's a pretty big one to come out swinging
with. Well, it's better than, like, a teenage boy. Um, I'm gonna go back to the ladies. Ursula. Oh, yeah. From Little Mermaid? Absolutely. Absolutely. Come on, sea witch. Yeah, definitely Ursula. And she has eels, so. She has eels. I like eels. Well, speaking of tentacles, Squidward. Okay. Wow. What a choice. Can you tell me why? About Squidward? Yeah, I'd like to know. I mean, he's an artist. Okay. He. He's got a great sense of humor. He's got a great sense of humor. Yeah.
And that nose. Okay. You like a big nose? I just like that even though he can't stand SpongeBob and Patrick, he still goes along with their schemes, you know? He's a good friend, despite hating everyone around him. Okay. And same, you know? Yeah, I get it. I just vibe with his, I hate my life, you know? Yeah. Okay. I'm going to go back to real people for a sec. Okay. Gomez -Adams, specifically in the Addams Family values, and that's the movies that came out around the 90s.
Yeah. With Angelica Houston as Morticia. That Gomez -Adams, which the actor, rest in peace, but him, oh yeah. Oh yeah. They were just, first of all, I love a guy who loves his woman and is very romantic. And he like worships her. Yeah, that'd be nice. But I love that. I want to be worshiped. Karamia, is that what he calls her? I think so. But he's, he's just like, he's infatuated with her. Yeah. And everything she does. And like, I understand why. I mean, look at her.
Yeah. She should also be on your list. She isn't, but she could be. Yeah. You know, if that's, if that's a, if that was a deal breaker for Gomez, like he's like, Morticia's gotta be there. I'd be like, that's okay. That's fine with me. But just specifically that, that character of it. So. Cronk. Squeak, squeak, squeak. Can you, if you ever, like, I can't imagine. You'd just be in bed with him and pull the lever, Kronk. Wrong lever! Oh, man. That's an interesting choice
right there. Why? I think he's great. I don't know. He seems so stupid. Yeah, but it's so lovable. I don't find that lovable. I think that's the difference. And I find him old. And he's very top -heavy. That's fine. He skipped a lot of leg days. I can help him with his legs. How? I don't know. I'm, like, trying to think of what this could be. He can bench me with his legs.
So one that I don't know if I would say now, but I definitely had as a kid, Will Turner from Pirates of the Caribbean, Orlando Bloom's character. Not so much now. No. Orlando Bloom was one of my crushes, but specifically his character as Will Turner was it. It was a gateway drug. But yeah, so I mean, I don't really feel that way now. It doesn't really hold up, but I felt like I needed to put it on the list for the nostalgia factor. Certainly not when he wore that feathery
hat, though. Yeah. No fucking way. Okay. Okay. So the hobo from Polar Express. Okay. I remember him. I'm just, I need you to talk me through this one also. Because what the fuck is going on, Courtney? You should see my list. I'm hearing it out loud. So when we're done, like, talking about all of it, anything we don't get to, I would just say all of them. Okay. Because I'm picking and choosing here. Okay, yeah, because I've only got a few more, so then I'm going to
let you go. I'm going to let you drive this train home when we're done here. Okay. Tell me why about this guy. I just think he's conventionally attractive, but he's also, like, mysterious. Yeah, well, he's a hobo, so that'll do it. Yeah, but he's a ghost, actually. So what I'm hearing, do you also, is Bruce Willis from The Sixth Sense also on your list? Because it seems like he's been dead the whole time and really what you want. So from, I used to watch Lost a lot, and
Saeed, the character from Lost. Okay, I'll pull one. He, I was fucking so obsessed with this guy. As Saeed. I mean, I think the actor is very attractive, also. I've liked him in other things, but it was about the character. Oh, shit, okay. Yeah, he was sweaty on an island, absolutely. That's what I mean, I have more, I mean, I have a couple more cartoons, I think, but I have... I watched a lot of live action stuff. I watched more cartoons. Yeah, I watched more live action
stuff. But I also tried to not pick real people because the majority of them are conventionally attractive. So it's not really a hear me out. But this isn't a hear me out. No, not really. But I tried to be more like different. Yeah, I didn't try to do that. I did not try to be a contrarian on this. I just was like fictional characters I'm attracted to. Bam. About them being fictional characters more than just people. I mean, Ace Ventura, Pet Detective. Okay. You're
such an interesting person. Okay, I'll do my, I think this is my last animated person. Okay. So, in Rugrats, I don't remember her name, but Chucky's stepmom and Kimmy's mom. Oh, yeah. She's pretty. But she was also, like, so sweet. Yeah. Her whole characterization. Like, she's so sweet and nice. So I love that. I love how she loved Chucky as her own. But she's also pretty. Her glasses. She wore those little glasses in the beret in Rugrats in Paris. Yeah. The orange VHS
tape. Yeah. You know, I also don't think I would, um, I don't think I would kick Angelica's mom out of bed. No. I think she would. I think she would beat you up. You might love her in bed, because I think she'd beat the shit out of you. Whatever. But yeah, I don't think I'd kick her out of bed either. Or her husband. Yeah. Now, Stu Pickles, not my favorite. I would make pudding with him at 4 o 'clock in the morning. Yeah, we could be bros. Yeah. You know, same with Dee
Dee. We could be bros. Just that whole family dynamic I wasn't about. No. But the other, like, what's, what's, um, Drew. Drew Pickles. Drew, yeah. Him I like. And I like Angelica's mom, whose name I can't remember right now. Yeah, Angelica's mom. Yeah. Or wait, let me see if I have any more. Because that was my last animated one. Let me see if I have anyone else I want to say. Because then I'll just do like a speed round. Yeah. But I'll elaborate if you have questions.
I'm not getting, this isn't, I wrote this and I don't really remember it, but it's true. daddy rossi alfredo but i think i want him to be my dad more than i literally whatever so i mean the goobs matthew greg he's fine i don't know he's not like i don't know he's fine but as far as a character goes daddy rossi alfredo i really enjoy but i do think i'd rather he be my father yeah I think he's attractive, I guess, but...
Alright, so I don't have that many more, and most of them I don't think you'll even know who they are anyway. They're very obscure, so... We'll speed around if you have questions. I'll let you know, but I just want you to barrel through. Okay. I'll hold my questions till the end. Okay. Him. Gritty. He's a real thing. He's not a fictional character, but you know what I'm talking about. Just... I want you to speed around. Okay. Bojack Horseman. Shaggy. Shrek. Pennywise. Raven from
Teen Titans. Six from the movie Nine. I'll show you a picture. I don't think I know who that is. I'm sorry. Six. Nine. What? Okay, never mind. I'm holding my comments and questions to the end. Okay. Swiper the Fox. Osmosis Jones. Actually, 100 % agree. Powerline. 100 % agree. Lumineer. Or Lumiere. Sorry. You lost. Scar. Yeah, actually, yes. Randy Marsh. From South Park. The dad. I didn't watch South Park. I don't know who they are. Feeling good on a Wednesday. Lightning McQueen.
Poe from Kung Fu Panda, but mainly because it's Jack Black. Dude, I thought you were about to say Teletubbies. I thought about putting Teletubby there, but I decided against it. What? Tinky Winky. Oh, my. Keep going. And Sportacus from LazyTown. Which one is Sportacus? Like, does all the exercises. Show me a picture. I did not watch LazyTown. I don't fucking know. I'm sorry. I'm overwhelmed with your choices. I love you so much. Okay. Um. I forgot to put. Mm -hmm.
Um. In the Goofy movies. Mm -hmm. You know Max's friend that has the earring and is like. Like cheese. Yeah, that one. The leaning tower of cheese. I am. I'm about. I was always kind of into him. But also the girlfriend. Yes. Hot. So, yeah, she was another one. I forget her name. What was her name? Roxanne? Roxanne. I loved her. So those two that reminded me when you said power line. Um, you know, a few of those I understand. A few of them I, I'm, I'm, I don't know what
to say to you. After that one, six from a nine, I don't think I'm ever going to be able to look at you the same way again. What is that thing? What, what is, what is he? Um, they're like dolls. All right, guys, I think we should go. I know this has been a shorter one. You don't want to talk about Pennywise? Both of them. You already have talked about Pennywise a lot before I even ever asked you to. I understand why. Are there any you want to talk about? Is there any other
questions that you have for me? I mean, so many, but I don't know if it's worth talking about. What other ones that I don't know did you put on your list? I put Damon Salvatore from The Vampire Diaries. I also put the vampire Jerry Danders from Fright Night. It's an 80s movie. Jake Gyllenhaal's character in Prisoners. I think his name is Detective Loki. I just think Jake Gyllenhaal is very attractive. He is, but I don't
find him overwhelmingly attractive. But this character in Prisoners, I really, really like. And this one you'll know, I guess. But Jason Stiles in Gilmore Girls. He's the rich guy that Lorelai had a relationship with right before Luke. The teacher? No, no, no. He was in business with Richard. Yeah, hold on. I actually really liked him and I liked them together. I mean, obviously I wanted her to end up with Luke, but this guy was a close second. Well, Luke is definitely
on my list. He is too, but that was like obvious. Same with Jess. Like, obviously. I'm trying to think of anyone that I've missed. I mean, I find a lot of people attractive. You do. You always have. I always have. Real life, drawings. Dolls, candles, apparently. It's not the fact that he's a candlestick, okay? See, the fact that you said that makes me feel like it is. It's not. The
lady doth protest too much. It's the aura. A lot of the characters that I find attractive are because of their personalities or the aura that they give. So, like, the light that he brings to the world? Yes. Well, now you know that about us. And we hope you can still listen and look at us the same. Tell us what your fictional characters you're attracted to are, your hear -me -outs, or just if they're conventionally attractive,
that's okay too. So if you guys follow us on Instagram, at 30dirtyanddying, we'll try to put some of these. in the stories as, like, polls, and you can tell us which ones of our picks you think are the most conventionally attractive. Or just attractive. Or if you like their personalities. Yeah, not conventionally. I don't know why I said that. You can tell us which ones of our picks you're most attracted to. We'll group them together. So, that'll be fun. A fun way for you
guys to play, too. And, uh, make sure you're following us on whatever your preferred podcast platform is so that you can find out what we do next. Alright. I'm glad we did this. Me too. I feel like I know so much more about you than I ever did or maybe even wanted to. But I love you still the same. I'm glad. You should be because you got weird there for a while. Which ones specifically? Most of the dead ones. Not because of those characters, but because it seemed like there were so many
of them. You know, and the funny thing is, when I was creating the list, I didn't even realize. Yeah, so that makes me wonder if it's because they're dead. I don't think I have to finish that sentence. I also didn't realize that the hobo was a ghost until I said it. It's just subconscious. Maybe. Maybe subconsciously I just want to be a ghost. Alright, well that's why we called the show 30 Dirty and Dying. We'll see you all next time. Bye! I know you've been depriving yourself since 96.