How often do you find yourself thinking, "After this week, I’m sure things will slow down"? The two of us must say some version of this to each other every day. It helps make getting through this week easier. When we say we hope things will slow down, what we really mean is that we want a reprieve from the mental load of managing everyday life for almost everyone all the time. Mental load refers to the cognitive effort required to manage and remember everything in our daily lives while trying to...
Oct 24, 2024•9 min•Ep. 51
"Isn't it ironic? - Don't you think?" – Alanis Morrisette, 1996 Irony is helping our kids learn how to drive while at the same time, trying to get our parents to give up driving. Irony is trying to help our parents manage life with the internet and at the same time, trying to help our kids manage their lives with the internet. Irony is helping our parents find a contact on their phone (again) and then having to ask our kids how to use a new app (again). Three take-ways from this episode: Life is...
Jun 07, 2024•22 min•Ep. 50
We all have regrets about many things in our lives at any given moment, but should we always say, “I’m sorry?” We were going to do a podcast apologizing for not having done a podcast since January, but why are we sorry? Whose expectations did we fall short of? Yours? Are you upset with us? And, if you feel we did fall short somehow, how much of an impact should we allow that to have on ourselves? What benefit could constantly feeling apologetic possibly have to help us do better? The change need...
May 03, 2024•12 min•Ep. 49
Are we all just hurdling ourselves through each day, again and again? When will things slow down and get a little easier? “Stop and smell the roses,” they say but, as sandwiched caregivers, we are moving so fast we don’t even notice any roses. Being busy is almost a status symbol nowadays. We tend to measure our value based on how productive we can be. We are feeling like we can never relax because there is always more to do. We tell ourselves that things will be easier ‘next week’ because it is...
Jan 30, 2024•31 min•Ep. 48
Being a sandwiched adult child during the holidays is extra hard because expectations are so high. This is the happiest time of the year, right? Who makes everything magical for everyone? (Hint: it’s not Santa). It’s us and it’s a lot of pressure right now especially around our toxic family members. Here are a few quick tips for surviving the holiday sandwich season. It is not required that you participate in every argument you are invited to. A family member not involved in the regular care of ...
Dec 19, 2023•23 min•Ep. 47
How do we make everything work as sisters, as parents, as adult children, as friends, and as business partners? In this episode we offer our best tips for getting along with the people you most depend on. We choose not to have unnecessary conflicts. It is humbling but also empowering to look at how much energy we spend either towards our goals or away from them. We purposefully let a lot slide in order to protect our complex relationship. We constantly reassess how much we each must deal with. K...
Nov 28, 2023•19 min•Ep. 46
Grieving the loss of a loved one feels heavy and overwhelming in the best of circumstances. Many people have not considered beyond grieving how much work needs to be done by others after they pass away. It’s more than just not being willing to discuss death. Some people will never agree to proactive planning about their death and what comes afterwards. Of those that do, the catalyst is often when they realize how much worse their death will be on those who love them. It has nothing to do with ag...
Oct 31, 2023•20 min•Ep. 45
How do we get our parents buy-in to move or accept care at home? As we have discussed in previous episodes, we are firm believers that the way something is said affects the way it is perceived. You have been trying for months or even years to get your dad to agree to accept help at home let alone move into assisted living, so what can you do? Listen in while we talk about what worked with our parents and experiences with our clients over the years. Three take-ways from this episode: Try to find ...
Oct 03, 2023•26 min•Ep. 44
Everyone’s situation is unique. As senior care consultants, we find ourselves offering the same resources repeatedly. Listen to today’s episode to learn our topmost frequently recommended senior care planning resources. RESOURCES: National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys (NAELA) https://www.naela.org/ Aging Life Care Association (ALCA) https://www.aginglifecare.org/ National Association of Senior Move Managers (NASMM) https://www.nasmm.org/ The National Council on Aging (NCOA) https://www.ncoa.or...
Sep 12, 2023•27 min•Ep. 43
Maya Angelou once said, "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." We pay attention to how the words we use make others feel. We can’t control how what we say is perceived, but we can choose different words to help us towards the outcome we are hoping for. The word "facility" connotes a medical establishment, not a place where I would want to live. Are assisted livings facilities? Technically, yes, b...
Aug 18, 2023•22 min•Ep. 42
Does being independent mean that you can do everything for yourself? By the traditional standards, independence equals self-sufficiency. Many of our clients are stubbornly committed to not accepting help. Accepting help means they are failing at taking care of themselves. We perceive independence as having agency over our lives and choices, control over how we want to live, but we don’t believe for a minute that we should do it all on our own. We are embracing a shift in perspective. Not that ma...
Jul 18, 2023•24 min•Ep. 41
In this episode, Michelle and Alyson discuss some of the resources available to help us have important conversations about end of life with our loved ones. Death is inevitable. We all know this. Let’s explore the options we have to honor our loved ones in the way they want to be honored. What measures can we take, at any age, to alleviate the burden of our inevitable death for our loved ones who are mourning? What are the current trends surrounding the passing of a loved one? Listen in to find o...
Jun 20, 2023•33 min•Ep. 40
Death is inevitable, it happens to ALL of us. Ignoring this, and refusing to talk about it, only makes things harder for the loved ones we leave behind. So many people are in denial that they will experience death at some point. Things are absolutely different when someone’s passing is unexpected or their life has been cut short. But for an elderly person, perhaps we can change our perspective from mourning to gratitude, or even celebration. We can be overwhelmingly sad but choose to honor a ful...
Jun 06, 2023•22 min•Ep. 39
Validating, redirecting, using therapeutic fibs, and empathic listening are some of the most common techniques used to successfully communicate with someone who has dementia. Each of these techniques requires us to think on our feet, and go with the flow. Communication with someone who has dementia is outcome-based. What is the objective of what we are communicating? Are we trying to get them to perform a particular task? Are we trying to minimize their agitation? Improve the quality of their da...
May 09, 2023•34 min•Ep. 38
Blind spots refer to things that we are not fully conscious of that affect our lives. This is sometimes due to a lack of knowledge or awareness, but it is often because we are in denial. The definition of a blind spot, according to the APA Dictionary of Psychology is, “a lack of insight or awareness—often persistent—about a specific area of one's behavior or personality, typically because recognition of one's true feelings and motives would be painful.” Blind spots occur in many areas of our liv...
Apr 25, 2023•28 min•Ep. 37
We miss our parents, but they’re still here. It’s not easy wanting support from our parents -- but now they need our support instead. Being an adult child or family caregiver means having less support but more responsibility. We want to look to our parents for guidance, as they may have always provided, but instead they are looking upon us for support. Especially when there is cognitive decline, we experience mourning over the loss of someone who is still alive. Three takeaways from this episode...
Apr 11, 2023•20 min•Ep. 36
How would your loved one prefer to live if they can’t manage alone independently? What is their goal? Do you have the resources and support system to achieve the goal? We’re going on a trip, but we have no map or GPS and not quite enough gas to get there. Will we get to our destination? Maybe eventually, but not without some struggles and costly detours. You can figure out how far your gas will get you and map out a route in advance. So many people just start heading in the direction of what the...
Mar 28, 2023•22 min•Ep. 35
Michelle and Alyson tap into their lifetime of experiences to discuss what can be expected from an assisted living residence. What is the difference between assisted living and a nursing home? What is included at an assisted living? How much care is available in an assisted living? What happens if you run out of money? What if your loved one is not happy? Three takeaways from this episode: Assisted living residences offer more dignified, home-like environments than nursing homes because they are...
Mar 14, 2023•24 min•Ep. 34
Why are we able to support people in working with their families, and yet, have so little patience with our own family? In today’s episode, we commiserate with a listener who sent us an email. This email in particular struck a chord with us because we struggle with the same issue! If nurses make the worst patients, then senior care professionals make the worst adult children. Right? This is at least true for us, and we are willing to bet that it is for many of you, too. Three takeaways from this...
Feb 28, 2023•17 min•Ep. 33
What is a respite stay? When is a respite stay appropriate? What should you expect when your loved one does a respite stay? There are a few types of respite stays. Some are short-term stays because a caregiver is going away or needs a break. Other types are more of a trial stay in an assisted living. Respite stays can have great outcomes and, in this episode, Michelle, Alyson and Emily explore why. Three takeaways from this episode: A respite stay can be used as a short-term break for a family c...
Feb 14, 2023•19 min•Ep. 32
Communicating with someone who has dementia can be especially challenging because relating to them becomes increasingly hard as their memory declines. Drawing upon our years of experience, we have seen what is most successful for families. This, along with our Certified Dementia Practitioner certifications, sets the stage for this episode about communication approaches. Three take-ways from this episode: What is truth? Truth is a matter of perspective, especially for people with dementia. People...
Jan 31, 2023•23 min•Ep. 31
What should you ask during a tour of an assisted living or a nursing home? What should you prepare for and expect? In this episode, we offer our advice for a productive initial tour. Michelle Woodbrey, Alyson Powers and Emily Rogue come together to share their tips for touring an assisted living community or nursing facility. One of the most common questions we are asked is if we have a checklist for touring. In fact, we don’t. Listen to find out why and what we recommend instead! Three key take...
Jan 17, 2023•27 min•Ep. 30
Happy New Year! What is your New Years’ resolution? You don’t have one? We don’t either! Join us as we embrace our inner-Goblins for 2023. Goblin Mode is defined as a "type of behavior which is unapologetically self-indulgent, lazy, slovenly, or greedy, typically in a way that rejects social norms or expectations." This was Oxford’s word of the year for 2022 and we feel seen. After 2+ years of enduring through a global pandemic with heightened political tension and a climate in crisis , we’re ti...
Jan 03, 2023•12 min•Ep. 29
Why do I want an air-fryer so badly? And why won’t my aging loved one ask for help when they need it? How can these things possibly be connected? And maybe most importantly, why are we talking about this on a podcast? At least once or twice a week we talk to someone who made a promise to a loved one that they can’t keep. “I promised my dad I would never put him in a home,” for example. They had the best of intentions to keep their promise, but they didn’t have all of the facts before making a co...
Nov 08, 2022•27 min•Ep. 28
In this episode, Michelle interviews Licensed Nursing Home Administrator, and Nursing Home Specialist with 2Sisters Senior Living Advisors, Emily Rogue, about how to choose a short-term skilled nursing rehabilitation facility. Choosing a short-term skilled nursing rehabilitation facility can be daunting. Most people don’t know how to find the right facility for their needs. It is important to choose a good rehab because your outcome is absolutely affected based on the quality of the therapy and ...
Oct 25, 2022•30 min•Ep. 27
In this episode, Michelle interviews expert guest Jan Latorre-Stiller, the Executive Director of Cambridge Neighbors, a member of the Village to Village Network. Cambridge Neighbors (CN) is a membership-driven organization helping adults living in Arlington, Belmont, Cambridge, Somerville, and Watertown Massachusetts stay in the homes and neighborhoods they love. Three key takeaways from this episode: Joining a Village in your area can offer you the support you need to stay in your home longer. ...
Oct 11, 2022•21 min•Ep. 26
What is adult family mediation? Join us on this episode where we welcome guest Halee Burg, an Affiliate Mediator with Elder Decisions®, a division of Agreement Resources, LLC . Sometimes families get stuck. We can’t agree and we don’t know how to move forward. Adult family or elder mediation is an effective method of making difficult family decisions. Mediators are highly skilled, neutral, conflict resolution experts who do not provide advice or "take sides" but, instead, facilitate purposeful a...
Sep 27, 2022•27 min•Ep. 25
Are you caring for a loved one at home and need some support but your loved one won’t let anyone else provide their care? What can you do when only you will do? Join us this episode as we discuss some strategies for getting a loved one to accept outside support. Three key takeaways from this episode: First, get to the bottom of why only you will do. There may be many reasons why your loved one is resistant to outside care providers, some of which may be a tribute to how well you are caring for t...
Sep 13, 2022•18 min•Ep. 24
Have you promised your loved one you will never put them in a nursing home? People make promises like this all the time, that they have every intention to keep but may not be able to deliver upon. Keeping a loved one at home with in-home care is much more possible when you have a plan in place for if/when it may not work. Aging in place at home requires some strategy and a plan for if it fails. You can promise you will do your best to keep your loved one at home as long as possible or you can en...
Aug 30, 2022•21 min•Ep. 23
Choosing a nursing home is not something people want to do. It is a need-driven decision and a daunting one at that. Join Nursing Home Specialist, Emily Rogue, LNHA, and Senior Care Consultant, Michelle Woodbrey on this episode where they discuss what to do and what not to do when choosing a nursing home. Avoiding nursing home care is among the most commonly expressed wishes of older Americans. After all, nursing homes are clinical settings, just a step below a hospital. How should you go about ...
Aug 16, 2022•46 min•Ep. 22
